Creative Loafing Tampa — December 1, 2022

PUBLISHER James Howard

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa

DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf

MANAGING EDITOR Kyla Fields

STAFF WRITER Justin Garcia

FOOD and THEATER CRITIC

Jon Palmer Claridge

FILM & TV CRITIC John W. Allman

IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl

CONTRIBUTORS Josh Bradley, Molly Ryan

Story

PHOTOGRAPHERS Dave Decker

EDITORIAL INTERN Min Craig Apply for spring via rroa@cltampa.com

question

5 Story

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack Spatafora

GRAPHIC DESIGNER Joe Frontel

ILLUSTRATORS Dan Perkins, Cory Robinson, Bob Whitmore

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda

MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS

SeaWorld in February, animal rights claiming the practice of keeping wild dangerous. But even though public many don’t see a parallel between the kind and the practice of displaying animals asking for too much? Or is it time for a “entertainment” animals?

DIRECTOR

Alexis Quinn Chamberlain

at SeaWorld in February, animal rights claiming the practice of keeping wild and dangerous. But even though public widespread, many don’t see a parallel between the kind Vick and the practice of displaying animals activists asking for too much? Or is it time for a “entertainment” animals?

MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS COORDINATOR Lauren Caplinger

EUCLID MEDIA GROUP

CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Andrew Zelman

Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest 40

CHIEF OPERATING OFFICERS

Music Week ...................................................42

Chris Keating, Michael Wagner

Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest 40

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Sarah Fenske

Music Week ...................................................42

Concert review: Artic Monkeys 42 The List ..........................................................46

VP OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein

Concert review: Artic Monkeys 42 The List ..........................................................46

REGIONAL OPERATIONS DIRECTOR Hollie Mahadeo

Movie reviews 63

Free Will Astrology.........................................64

Movie reviews 63

Puzzler ...........................................................66

DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR Jaime Monzon

Savage Love 69

Free Will Astrology.........................................64 Puzzler ...........................................................66

Savage Love 69

euclidmediagroup.com cltampa.com cldeals.com

EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views

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People can say, well, it’s racist. Councilmen scrutinize Tampa’s gunshot detection system, p. 13.

twitter.com/cl_tampa facebook.com/cltampa editors Connects,

twitter.com/cl_tampa facebook.com/cltampa editors Connects,

Ybor Festival of the Moving Image cltampa.com/arts

Ybor Festival of the Moving Image cltampa.com/arts

/food St. Pete’s top bottle shop /music More new concerts /news HART drama continues /arts Non-books stuff cltampa.com/slideshows Books, but clickable

brought her to Florida. A big ass book about the Sunshine State is among the year’s best, p. 29.

Road to hell

‘Hadestown’ among top things to do this weekend.

By Justin Garcia and Kyla Fields adestown, a multi-award winning musical that puts a modern spin on classic Greek myths, is in Tampa through the weekend. The work intertwines the two Greek myths of young dreamers Orpheus and Eurydice, and of King Hades and his wife Persephone. The play takes the audience through an unforgettable journey to the underworld and back and, according to the Hadestown web site, “invites you to imagine how the world could be.” Winner of eight 2019 Tony Awards, including Best Musical and the 2020 Grammy Award for Best Musical Theater Album, the acclaimed show from celebrated singer-song writer Anaïs Mitchell and innovative director Rachel Chavkin is described as, “a love story for today...and always.” Through Dec. 4, $70.50 & up. Morsani Hall at David A. Sraz Center for the Performing Arts. 1010 N W C MacInnes Pl, Tampa. strazcenter.org

Hands on

It’s finally time to roll that big ol’ banana leaf back out. For the first time since 2019, the own ers and chefs of Chismis & Co. will host their all-you-can-eat Filipino kamayan feast—a large family-style meal eaten with your hands. In addition to a variety of traditional Filipino eats, the event will feature a live DJ, a welcoming cocktail, a cash bar, and a few sweet treats after the meal. What won’t be there are forks and spoons. Read more on p. 23. Sunday, Dec. 4, 5:30-9:30 p.m. $75. Scott Andrew Fischer Design Studio, 2635 Fairfield Ave. S, St. Petersburg. chismisandco.com

Kris Krampus

Calling all Ebenezer Scrooges and un-traditional holiday celebrators—Independent’s annual Krampusnacht party is back for its 2022 ren dition. According to age-old European folklore, St. Nick’s creepy companion Krampus roams the streets looking for naughty children to scare about 20 days before Christmas day. This untra ditional celebration is complete with live music from harpist Seth Adam Lynn, tarot card read ings, a holiday gift market and a variety of beer, hot mulled wine and other libations. And if you come to this Krampusnacht dressed as Krampus himself, you’ll receive a complimentary draft beer or glass of house wine. The traditional Krampus attire usually consists of a wooden mask, horns and a suit made of sheep or goat skin according to the The Atlantic, but we’re sure a low-effort rendition of the half-goat, halfdemon monster will suffice. Monday, Dec. 5, 6 p.m. Free to attend. Independent Bar & Cafe . 5016 N Florida Ave., Tampa. @independentsemi noleheights on Facebook

Get Highball

Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s Highball Cocktail Competition makes a comeback this year, and local bars are competing to craft the best cock tail. Guests will get to sample cocktails made with vodka, gin, whiskey, and tequila, and vote on their favorite drinks in every spirit cate gory to help select an overall champion. Next Thursday, Dec. 8, 6 p.m. $30 & up. Nova 535.

535 Dr. M.L.K. Jr. St. N, St. Petersburg. high balltampabay.com

WE RAISE OUR CUPS: And will resist the urge to sing along at Straz Center this weekend.

T CHARLES ERICKSON

Every day, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay readers submit events to the CL event calendar. We’ve pulled out some of the best local events happening this week. So have a look, put this paper down, call a friend, and get out there. To be considered for this listing, please submit your event at cltampa.com.

USFCAM: Student-Led Public Art Tours

Join us for two student-led tours of selected works from the USF Public Art collection. Both tours begin at CAM and feature a differ ent selection of public artworks. Join us for one or both of the tours which are free and open to the public. Friday, Dec. 2 (9:30 a.m. & 11 a.m.). Free. Contemporary Art Museum at University of South Florida. 3821 USF Holly Dr., Tampa. cam.usf.edu

Gardens & Grounds tour of Old Hyde Park For the first time ever, several distinc tive and beautiful gardens in the iconic Hyde Park Historic neighborhood will be available to explore, with sips, snacks, music, garden ing demonstrations, and other surprises along the way. Proceeds to benefit the pres ervation and beautification efforts of Hyde Park Preservation, Inc. Additionally there will be demonstrations and tastings from local beekeeper Tampa Bees, Buddy Brew, Game Day Salsa, Cru Wine Cellars along with local performers from Gasparilla Music Festival. The Posies Flower truck will be stopping by along with Special Guest Selena Rampolla who is the 2022 Florida Honey Queen and 2023 American Honey Queen candidate. Saturday, Dec. 3, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. $30-$35. 1012 S Dakota Ave., Tampa. oldhydeparkfl.mem bershiptoolkit.com/gardentour

Gulfport 6th annual ArtJones studio tour

The art community of Gulfport invites the public to see, touch and buy original artwork by local artists. Gulfport’s 6th Annual Studio Tour is a free self-guided tour of 10 profes sional art studios featuring 28 artists. Artist studios are located in all four residential dis tricts in Gulfport, from the “uptown” Garden and Stetson districts to the ‘”downtown”

Marina and Historic Arts districts. Dec. 3 (10 a.m.-5 p.m.) and Sunday, Dec. 4 (11 a.m.-4 p.m.). Free. 3101 Beach Blvd. S, Gulfport. artjonesstudiotour.com

11th annual Holiday Spectacular Concert

Get into the spirit with an evening of out standing holiday classics and new favorites performed by the Second Winds Symphonic Band, St. Petersburg College Jazz Band, and the Pinellas Youth Symphony and capped off with an Audience Sing-A-Long. The Florida West Coast Flute Choir and Snow Slides Trombone Quartet will provide pre-concert music. Dec. 5, 6:30 p.m. $10-$20. Palladium Theater, 253 5th Ave. N, St. Petersburg. @secondtime arounders on Facebook

Coffee with a curator with our special exhibition, “The Shape of Dreams,” Dr. Ruthann Atchley, a professor of psychology at The University of South Florida, will discuss sleep and dreams through a psychological lens. Salvador Dalí famously argued that “reality dies in love as in dreams.” (“Diary of a Genius,” 1965). He frequently utilized the bizarre and emotion laden content of his dreams as both source and inspiration for his astonishing, disturb ing and influential art. Wednesday, Dec. 7, 10:30 a.m., Free. Dalí Museum, 1 Dalí Blvd., St. Petersburg. thedali.org

Rum 101 Join Master Rummelier Isabella Rosal for an exclusive rum appreciation and tasting class, followed by cocktails and socializing. Guests will unwind in the beauti ful environment, take great photos for your social media channels, and mingle with other guests in a beautiful elevated space. They’ll also learn how to taste, select, and appreciate rum! Leave the party with an official Rumsommer® certification (sub ject to completing the guided tasting class), plus create their own cocktail, guided by a Master Mixologist with 20 years of experi ence. Next Thursday., Dec. 8, 6:45 p.m. $99. Femperial, 2851 1st Ave. N, St. Petersburg. tampabayrumsociety.com

Extravaganza

HOLIDAY DOWNTOWN

Celebrate the holidays in Downtown Clearwater with lights, decorations, music, merriment, and festive holiday events all season long!

Downtown Clearwater Holiday Stroll Nightly all December long

Miracle on Cleveland Street presented by Ruth Eckerd Hall Sunday, Dec. 4, 2:00 – 7:00 p.m.

Food Truck Thursdays – Holiday Jingle Thursday, Dec. 8, 11:30 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.

Holiday Spirit of Lights Festival Friday, Dec. 9, 6:00 – 10:00 p.m.

The Market Marie on Cleveland Street Saturday, Dec. 10, 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.

Home for the Holidays Paws-on-Parade Benefiting the Humane Society of Pinellas Saturday, Dec. 17, 11:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.

See more events and activities at downtownclearwater.com/holidays

POLITICS ISSUES OPINION

Service complaint

Former HART officials support accusations of mismanagement by CEO.

By Justin Garcia

As the board for the Hillsborough Area Regional Transit agency pursues an investigation of management, former highranking employees are putting their grievances on the record. Cherie Leporatti, former HART compliance officer, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that she was fired unjustly by CEO Adelee Le Grand on Nov. 15, 2021, the day that her mother was put in hospice care. Leporatti was in charge of making sure that the company was in compliance with its federal regulatory and legal requirements, as well as internal policies and bylaws.

accusing Le Grand of targeting employees that she didn’t like to get rid of them. The Tampa Bay Times reported that former Chief of Customer Experience Teri Wright, who was involved in Leporatti’s firing, was working a second job.

LOCAL NEWS

Leporatti started at HART in 2017 and has over 20 years of experience in the transit indus try. She developed several sections of HART’s employee handbook, developed the agency’s ethics program, conducted policy violation investigations for HART, managed the Equal Employment Opportunity Program, trained employees, and helped operate several other programs specifically linked to federal regula tions and ethics.

Le Grand fired Leporatti after claiming that a document was shared in a non secure man ner during an internal investigation at HART. But Leporatti says it was actually the former Director of Legal Services Jeremy Beasley—who left suddenly from HART earlier this year— who shared the document. Le Grand accused Leporatti of violating six company policies.

She believes that Le Grand fabricated a reason to fire her, to avoid her oversight as a compliance officer.

“She wants to be able to run the agency how she wants, regardless of public regulations or the law,” Leporatti told CL. “And she’s destroy ing people’s lives.”

Leporatti is one of at least 57 administra tive employees who have departed from HART since Le Grand became CEO in 2021, either through being terminated or walking away from the agency.

Le Grand has also gone through four mar keting and communications directors. The third director wrote a resignation letter calling her a “dictator and tyrant” which, after months of denied public records requests, was leaked to CL. The letter also aligned with Leporatti’s viewpoint,

But as the HART Board prepares to discuss the details of the investigation into management in the coming weeks, Leporatti told CL that she hopes the board focuses on the big picture: that Le Grand is gutting the agency and making it unstable through unprofessional behavior. During her time there, Leporatti said Le Grand was “hostile and aggressive” toward her and other employees, forcing many to leave if they weren’t fired.

“She’s rid the company of so many people with professional certifications and qualifica tions now, that I’m not sure how the organization can operate safely and properly,” Leporatti said. “So yeah, it’s scary.”

Since her firing by Le Grand, her life has been upended. If she had resigned from the orga nization rather than be fired, she would have been able to collect a portion of the 380 hours of leave that she had accumulated, she says.

“I had to sell my home in Brandon and move south to live with relatives,” Leporatti said. “It took me eight months to find another job in my profession.”

When asked for a response, Le Grand said that because the board is moving forward with the investigation, it would be inappropriate for her to respond at this time. “However, I look forward to the results of the outside investiga tion and recommendations that will improve our service and continue to create a positive and productive work environment,” Le Grand added. “I was hired to overcome HART’s troubled and hostile work environment. We have made progress but still have work to do.”

HART’s past two CEOs have also been the subject of investigations, with both being forced to resign.

Timothy Martin, a former safety and secu rity specialist for HART, says that Le Grand was anything but transparent and account able, and that there were many glaring safety issues when he left the organization back in April. Martin told CL that upper management

conducted “botchy” investigations into safety issues within the company, and that even before he left, the staff was stretched thin.

“There are multiple people that are doing two and three people’s jobs that are not get ting compensated for their job performance, so people are leaving,” Martin said. “And it’s just sad when we have to go look for other jobs because I’m worried about the sanity of my fam ily and I’m worried about the safety of myself and other people.”

Martin was responsible for compliance and safety inspections, hazard identification, among other safety-related responsibilities. While he never interacted with Le Grand directly, Martin said that she instructed his department “not to have communication with the board members, period, unless she knows about it first.”

They were told all communications had to go through the legal department before they went to the board, Martin said. “While the CEO was putting all these big statements together to impress the board, saying we’re going to come

up with new, brighter ideas, we’re going to keep moving forward, the company was ignoring the basic operations that keep things running and safe,” Martin said.

In the letter, Le Grand told employees that “feathers will be ruffled” during times of change, but that she remained committed to the orga nization’s mission, and asked the remaining employees to join her in that mission. But the anonymous letter added that current and former employees are mobilizing to push back against their treatment at HART.

“So you can understand the gravity of this public comment, employees are exploring the options of legal representation and filing indi vidual state ethics complaints regarding unfair employment practices,” the letter read.

In response, HART Board Chair Pat Kemp said the investigation will be conducted as soon as possible.

Editor's note: This is a fast moving story that changed as it was going to the printer. Visit cltampa.com/news for the latest.

DRIVING THE NEWS: HART has been in headlines every week.

HILLSBOROUGHTRANSIT/FACEBOOK

Spot check

TPD’s controversial gunshot detection program unfairly targets East Tampa, councilmen say.

By Justin Garcia

Two Tampa City Councilmen say that a con troversial gunshot detection program is discriminatory in its targeting of East Tampa, a historically Black community. At a Nov. 17 city council meeting, Tampa Police Department offered a report on the ShotSpotter gunshot detection program. The presentation was requested by Councilwoman Lynn Hurtak in August, because the program has made international headlines for its problems with effectiveness and claims that it violates civil liberties. While Hurtak was absent from the council meeting on a trip for city business, others on council had tough questions for TPD.

Councilman Bill Carlson asked if the ShotSpotter technology is in South Tampa, West Tampa, North Tampa or Ybor City—a party dis trict where shootings are a regular occurrence. But TPD confirmed that the technology is only located in East Tampa. “So you all see what happened with this,” Carlson said. “I mean, it’s redlining with technology, in a way.”

Carlson pointed out that vio lent crime is up around the city, but TPD has chosen to focus on Tampa’s Black community.

Councilman Orlando Gudes, a former TPD police officer, had initially defended the program’s ability to help prevent shooting deaths, but agreed with Carlson’s observation about it being focused on East Tampa.

“We can’t say we’re just doing one area, when all of the other councilmen know, we’re getting calls all over the city,” Gudes said. “That’s unfair for the citizens. That’s unfair and then people can say, well, it’s racist.”

Deputy Chief of Police Calvin Johnson explained TPD’s reason ing behind ShotSpotter covering East Tampa and nowhere else in the city. “When ShotSpotter first started, we only have a certain amount of funding,” Johnson said. “And we only had a certain area that we can put it in based on the funding.”

He went on to say that TPD looked at stats as for shootings, and where they were occurring. He said one sector that had a lot of shootings was the area North of University of South Florida, often col loquially referred to as “suitcase city” and another area with a lot of shootings was East Tampa.

Johnson then said TPD did a comparison study in the high-gunfire areas, to find where

to place the technology and that studying the whole City of Tampa “wouldn’t have been rea sonable, it wouldn’t be smart.”

“When you look at our violent crime fire arm numbers, you’ll be able to find out where they’re occurring,” Johnson said.

“That’s where ShotSpotter was located based on the number of gun fires that we have and where in the city.”

coverage area reflects the highest density of gunfire. All residents who live in communities experiencing persistent gunfire deserve a rapid police response, which gunshot detection enables regardless of race or geographic location.”

LOCAL NEWS

After Johnson spoke, Councilman Charlie Miranda blamed television for increases in shootings.

For the past three years, the program has been funded by grants, TPD says, but the funding for 2023 is uncertain if it will come from grants, city funds, or a combina tion of both. Captain Travis Maus of TPD’s violent crimes bureau claimed that ShotSpotter is working.

investigation released in 2021 said that the use of the technology rarely led to evidence of gunrelated crime. The OIG found that only 9% of ShotSpotter alerts contained any physical evi dence of a gunshot.

But not only that, the technology changed police behavior. “The OIG identified evidence that the introduction of ShotSpotter technol ogy in Chicago has changed the way some CPD members perceive and interact with individuals present in areas where ShotSpotter alerts are frequent,” OIG wrote about ShotSpotter.

In August, ShotSpotter’s PR firm told CL that, “The OIG report did not spe cifically suggest that ShotSpotter alerts are not indicative of actual gunfire. The report itself states that this may be due to limitations on the data and, further, many real-word circumstances can also explain this result.”

In 2022, the Associated Press profiled an innocent Black man from Chicago named Michael Williams, who spent nearly a year in jail for murder after evi dence from ShotSpotter technology helped convict him. ShotSpotter says the company was not respon sible for Williams’ arrest or incarceration.

“The arrest report never mentions ShotSpotter and Mr. Williams was not arrested until three months after the real-time alert was issued,” ShotSpotter wrote in an email. “Authorities decide whether to arrest and pros ecute someone and ShotSpotter is not involved in those decisions. ShotSpotter identifies and alerts on gunfire incidents, not people.”

During the meeting it was discussed that there is a deficit of officers at TPD, and it was claimed that the agency is down about 200 personnel. Several councilmen, including Joe Citro, said that if the money for ShotSpotter is not going to come from a grant, the funds could be better used to increase the amount of officers.

“ShotSpotter coverage areas are determined by police using objec tive, historical data on shootings and homicides to identify areas most impacted by gun vio lence,” ShotSpotter wrote in an email. “Tampa’s

“ShotSpotter basically covers approximately four square miles of the 175 square miles of the city, and encompasses 17 schools 10 parks,” Maus said. “Over 2021-2022 there’s been a decrease about 3% of the ShotSpotter alerts we’ve had in that area.”

But the problem with TPD’s analysis is that alerts don’t always mean gunshots, because ShotSpotter technol ogy has a history of being a complicated tool that has caused controversy around the country.

The Chicago Police Department (CPD) used the technology for three years before an OIG

The ACLU says that the use of ShotSpotter leads to increased chances of people near the technology being unjustly approached and patted down by police. And oftentimes, the sound sensors are placed in neighborhoods where people of color live, leading to increased police presence in those neighborhoods.

Council didn’t make a decision on the ShotSpotter technology funding at the meet ing, but did ask for a report from TPD and police union next year, about how to fill the 200 officer shortage, how to reduce the violent crime rate and to explain to the public how TPD operates on a day-to-day basis. The report will come in the form of a workshop on Feb. 23, 2023.

MONEY SHOT: Tampa City Council has yet to make a decision on funding for TPD’s gunshot detection program.

DAVE DECKER

“It’s redlining with technology, in a way.”

NO MORE: The Club Q shooting happened a day before Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Gut punch

By Jeffrey C. Billman

For so many reasons, the Nov. 19 mass shoot ing at Club Q in Colorado Springs has been an absolute gut punch.

It evoked the massacre at Pulse, an Orlando LGBTQ club where, in 2016, 49 people were gunned down by a self-radicalized jihadist. It took place at a drag show the day before Transgender Day of Remembrance, which hon ors those murdered in acts of transphobia, in a year marked by disgusting political attacks against transgender people by the likes of Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis.

It might be the product of ingrained self-loathing.

According to their defense attorneys, the alleged shooter, 22-year-old Anderson Lee Aldrich, iden tifies as nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. Their father, MMA coach Aaron Brink, told a CBS affiliate in San Diego that his first thought after hearing from his child’s public defender was to ask why his kid was in a gay bar.

“And then I go on to find out it’s a gay bar. I said, ‘God, is he gay?’ I got scared, ‘Shit, is he gay?’ And he’s not gay, so I said, ‘Phew.’ I’m a Mormon. I’m a conservative Republican. We don’t do gay.”

Another disturbing detail: Aldrich’s arrest a year ago for threatening their mother with a homemade bomb should have triggered Colorado’s red flag law, enabling authorities to seize their guns. But El Paso County declared itself a “Second Amendment sanctuary,” and

police there haven’t seemed concerned about enforcing the law.

But here’s the thing I can’t get over: An unarmed brewery owner—aided by a trans woman who drove her heels into the shooter’s face, God bless her—did more to stop the car nage at Club Q than the locked-and-loaded cops of Uvalde, Texas, did at an elementary school in May. Five people died instead of dozens.

A veteran of Afghanistan and Iraq who was twice awarded the Bronze Star, Richard Fierro responded by instinct.

When the shooting started, Fierro—who was there with his wife, daughter, and her boyfriend—pulled the shooter to the floor from behind, dislodging their rifle, grabbed their pistol from their hand, then beat the shit out of them.

Fierro’s wife and daughter survived with only minor injuries. His daughter’s boyfriend didn’t make it.

“I don’t know how I got the weapon away from that guy, no idea,” he told The New York Times. “I’m just a dude, I’m a fat old vet, but I knew I had to do something.”

Like many vets, Richard Fierro had trou ble leaving the war behind. He came home in 2013 on edge. He saw a shrink and started taking meds. He also got rid of his guns. Put a pin in that.

Club Q was followed just three days later by a mass shooting in a Chesapeake, Virginia,

Walmart that claimed six victims, all store employees. Chesapeake was the 607th mass shooting of 2022, according to the Gun Violence Archive, which defines mass shootings as inci dents in which four or more people are shot.

As I write this on the morning of Nov. 28, 10 more incidents have been added to the list.

Using a narrower definition—active-shooter incidents in populated areas that produced three or more fatalities—Chesapeake marked the year’s 12th mass shooting, tying 2018 for a record that dates back at least 40 years, with a month yet to go. Seventy-four people have died in these incidents this year.

For comparison, from 1994-2004—the 10 years in which we had a federal assault weapons ban—17 mass shootings killed 106 people. It’s almost like we were on to something.

But despite the proposal’s popularity and Democratic control of Washington, Congress hasn’t restored the assault weapons ban. Nor did Democrats ban high-capacity magazines or subject private sales to background checks, both of which have majority sup port. Instead, after Uvalde, Congress cobbled together a bipartisan nothing-burger.

Chesapeake wasn’t per petuated with an assault rifle, however. The killer used a handgun—as did killers in 155 of the 268 mass-fatality activeshooter incidents since 1982.

Handguns are used in about 80% of murders in the U.S.; in 2020, more than 19,000 people were shot to death. A new report found that the number of Americans carrying a loaded handgun every day doubled to 6 million between 20152019. Not surprisingly, most were white, male, and lived in states with less restrictive gun laws.

Most gun carriers say they need protection from other people. But the evidence for defen sive gun use is sketchy; the best data indicates that guns are seven times more likely to be used in a crime than to defend a victim and only 1-2% of crime victims use a gun defensively.

“What we do know for sure,” David Hemenway, director of the Harvard Injury Control Research Center, told The Trace, “is that having a gun in your house increases sui cides, it increases gun accidents, and it increases homicides, at least of women in the house.”

Guns are, in fact, used in most suicides, and are more common in suicides than murders. Most firearm suicides involved handguns that are stored unlocked and loaded so owners can have quick access protection. But we know that implementing even small barriers can cause people to rethink their suicidal impulses; not having guns anywhere near them is an even better deterrent.

We also know that states with the loos est gun laws (e.g., Mississippi, Louisiana, Wyoming) had the high est rates of gun deaths in 2020, and states with the most restrictive laws (e.g., Hawaii, Massachusetts, New Jersey) had the lowest.

And we know that while nearly 80% of homicides in the United States—which has more than twice as many guns per capita as Yemen, the world’s second-most gun-friendly country—are carried out with firearms, compared with only 4% of homicides in the U.K., which also has less than one-fourth of America’s homicide rate.

Maybe miss me with the “guns don’t kill people” thing.

Actually, guns do kill people

“The evidence for defensive gun use is sketchy.”

Shit Happened

MONDAY 28

Tampa Mayor Jane Castor makes it official by filing paperwork for her re-election campaign. She’s raised $35,000 mostly from developers for the effort, and at this point, despite being involved in two DOJ investigations, that money might be all she needs.

Tampa International Airport launches a contest to name its 21-foot flamingo statue. Since we didn’t feature the appropriate bird as the greeting to our visitors, we say call it “Rooster.”

TUESDAY 29

A Native American man was charged with a misdemeanor after protesting Tampa’s Columbus statue, which is now surrounded by a chain link fence. At this point, the statue is costing taxpayers money, so why not take it down?

WVTV reports that more than 63,000 rode St. Pete’s SunRunner in its first month of opera tion. Turns out people really want and need better public transit, not highways for cars. Hear that, FDOT?

New Orleans-based pizza chain Fat Boy’s has plans to bring what it calls the “World’s Biggest Pizza Slices” to 10 locations in Tampa Bay. If you can eat a two-footer in less than seven minutes, you get $20 and a t-shirt, which does actually make the heartburn worth it.

More shit, riding the bus as much as possible, via cltampa.com/ news.

DAVE DECKER

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RESTAURANTS RECIPES DINING GUIDES

Hands out

This weekend’s intimate Filipino feast leads latest round of local food news.

By Kyla Fields

It’s finally time to roll that big ol’ banana leaf back out. For the first time since 2019, the owners and chefs of Chismis & Co. will host their all-you-can-eat Filipino kamayan feast—a large family-style meal eaten with your hands.

This rendition takes place at downtown St. Pete’s Scott Andrew Fischer Design Studio (styl ized as “SAFDS”) on Sunday, Dec. 4 from 5:30 p.m.-9 p.m. In addition to a variety of traditional Filipino eats, the event will feature a live DJ, a welcoming cocktail, a cash bar, and a few sweet treats after the meal. What won’t be there are forks and spoons.

“There’s going to be a $200 up-charge for uten sils, but if they ask nicely we’ll waive it,” Chef Cruz of Ichicoro and Chismis & Co. tells Creative Loafing Tampa Bay with a laugh. This kamayan’s $95 ticket can be purchased on eventbrite.com, and comes with a complimentary cocktail in addition to the all-you-can-eat Pinoy spread. After Thursday, Dec. 1, tickets to this exclusive feast will cost $105 each.

The meal starts with a few cocktails and appe tizers, like lumpia, crispy pork bites and a tangy sinigang broth, which acts as a palette cleanser. Main dishes include whole fried snapper, deep fried pork belly or lechon kawali, aromatic braised chicken thighs, and kare kare, a peanut-based curry with tender short ribs. These main pro teins will be joined by a wide spread of sides like roasted squash, garlic rice, braided green beans, savory eggplant frittata and salted duck eggs.

The feast will be accompanied by a variety of sauces and condiments as well, in addition to a few desserts like puto and biko—two tradi tional Filipino sweets. And although there are a few plant-based items scattered throughout the feast, this probably isn’t a meal for all of the true vegans out there.

While they haven’t hosted this feast in a few years, the same group of rambunctious chefs— Noel Cruz, Ron Vicencio, Ruby Mahal and Phil Ruperto—are back to prepare this intimate and immersive dining experience. Next month’s kama yan will also be in honor of the late Chef Branden Lenz. For more details on the kamayan menu, head to chismisandco.com.

Openings

Doc Ford’s Rum Bar & Grille Boasting tasty views of Boca Ciega Bay and a Caribbean-inspired

menu, St. Pete’s second Doc Ford’s Rum Bar & Grille is finally ready to open its doors. A post from Doc Ford’s Instagram says that its Jungle Terrace location will debut during the second week of December. Joe Harrity, the director of marketing for the restaurant, tells CL that an exact grand opening date isn’t set in stone yet. The casual, Florida-based restaurant chain is known for its waterfront views, large outdoor patios, seafood-focused menu, and of course, an extensive cocktail selection. Jungle Terrace’s Doc Ford’s restaurant is adjacent to Boca Ciega Bay, as its nautical customers are welcome to park their boats at one of its eight transient slips. The 6,750-square-foot restaurant will be able to sit 320 patrons on both of its floors. And don’t worry, there’s a bar on each level. 8790 Bay Pines Blvd., St. Petersburg. docfords. com

Coming soon

5 Bucks Drinkery

5 Bucks Drinkery, known for cheap, yet stiff, drinks—will open its second location in Pinellas Park out of the former Pete and Shorty’s space. A grand opening party will take place in January. A few of signature drinks include the “Slutty Peter” cocktail with dragon berry rum, peach schnapps, pine apple juice and a splash of grenadine, and the “St. Peach Bomb” shot with peach vodka and tropical Red Bull. And if those fancy drinks don’t interest you, 5 Bucks still slings cheap shots of Fireball and other liquors. Alongside

its extensive beer, wine, and cocktail offerings is a casual bar food menu with dishes like customizable mac and cheese bowls, tacos, burgers, stacked sandwiches, wraps and more. And although the drinks and food items at 5 Bucks used to be $5 each, most cocktails average around $5.99 these days—but all domestic beer tall boys are still only $3.50. 7402 49th St. N., Pinellas Park. fivebucksdrinkery.com

FOOD NEWS

ICYMI

Bacon & BBQ Festival coming to Vinoy Park in January A very meaty celebration is coming to St. Petersburg early next year. Hosted by Brewed Life Festivals, the St. Pete Bacon

favorites with over 30 local food vendors serv ing up everything from bacon burgers, brisket and ribs, as well as beer and cocktails. Tickets start at $9, and kids 10 and under get in for free.If you’re a true bar becue fanatic, you can purchase the Boss Hog Admission (ranging from $39-$50), which will provide special access to the Boss Hog Area with exclusive bars and vendors, as well as a private lounge, front row and high-top seating, cocktail and spirit samples, and more. 701 Bayshore Dr. NE, St. Petersburg. stpetebaconandbbq.com

& BBQ Festival heads to Vinoy Park, located at 701 Bayshore Dr. NE, on Saturday, Jan. 14 from noon-7 p.m. and Sunday, Jan.15 from 1 p.m.-7 pm. The event centers on some savory

The Tampa Bay Collard Green Festival returns next year Tampa Bay’s Collard Green Festival is making a comeback with vendors, prizes and plenty of collard-based snacks. Located at St. Pete’s Carter G. Woodson African American Museum, this event kicks off at 9 a.m. on Feb. 18 and ends at 5 p.m. The fes tival is free to attend, and will feature plenty of food, activities for kids, an African drum circle and more. There will be a collard green cook-off competition that guests can enter to see if they’ve got the best greens in town, and the grand prize if you win is $500 and bragging rights. A 9 a.m. yoga session is on the agenda along with demos (live cooking, accessible agriculture, physical fitness), and a chance to sample smoothies and the 2022 high school collard green recipe winning dish. There will also be a family-friendly block party, celebrating Black History Month. Information about ven dors and live music has not yet been released, so be sure to check out the Collard Green Festival Facebook page to find out more. 2240 9th Ave. S, St. Petersburg. tbcgf.org —Min Craig

“There’s going to be a $200 up-charge for utensils, but if they ask nicely we’ll waive it.”

FINGER FOOD: Definitely wash your hands before this meal.

CHISMISANDCO/FACEBOOK

Chain reaction

Like it or not, Tampa Bay loves chain restaurants.

By Min Craig

Arecent study ranked the Tampa area among the nation’s top cities in 2022 for “fast food lovers,” and it’s easy to see why. There are a ton of chains in Tampa Bay, and there’s even more on the way. We decided to dig through the records and find out just how many chain restaurants have opened in Tampa Bay this year, along with the ones that have signed the contracts and are on the way. Here are all the chains calling Tampa Bay home in 2022.

Abu Omar Halal This halal street food spot started off as a food truck in Houston in 2011, but in August it opened up its first ever brick-and-mortar location in Temple Terrace. Known for the shawarmas, kabobs, falafels and deserts, this spot offers a wide variety of differ ent options such as the Falafel salad, catering to non-meat-eaters, and Gyro Aryabi which fea tures gyro meat, veggies, tzatziki sauce, and a side of fries. 12208 N 56th St., Temple Terrace, 813-415-3302. abuomarhalal.com

Big Chicken Founded by NBA Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal, is coming to Tampa Bay, Big Chicken signed a 45-unit franchising deal with hospitality development company DMD Ventures, and Big Chicken is expected to come to Orlando, West Palm Beach, Fort Lauderdale, and Miami as well as Tampa Bay. The opening date and location have not yet been released, but the menu features specialty chicken sand wiches like the Big & Sloppy, featuring mac n cheese, crispy fried onions, and roasted garlic bbq aioli. Sides include jalapeno slaw, “dirty fries” and more. bigchicken.com

Cava This fast-casual Mediterranean res taurant opened in St Pete earlier this year in the former Zoë’s Kitchen location, which was a simi lar Mediterranean concept. The menu caters to traditional Mediterranean-food-enjoyers as well as vegan, keto, and a variety of other diets like falafel and RightRice, a high fiber grain. 1320 4th St. N, St. Petersburg, 727-371-0056. cava.com

Capriotti’s Sandwich Shop Earlier this year Capriotti’s opened a second Tampa Bay location in Lutz, following its other spot in Odessa, and there are now plans to open 15 more throughout the Bay. This fast-casual sand wich purveyor is known for its unique sandwich combinations, such as “The Bobbie”, made with oven-roasted turkey, cranberry sauce and stuff ing, and a variety of cheese steaks and wagyu sandwiches. 1948 Collier Pkwy., Lutz, 813-5533745. capriottis.com

Colony Grill The only other location in the Tampa Bay area is located in downtown St. Petersburg off of Central Avenue. The menu only features pizzas, but it gets pretty creative, including breakfast pies and even a salad pizza.

COURTESY

The staple topping is the famous hot oil, a pep per-infused creation meant to be dripped over your za’ for an extra kick. 3640 Midtown Dr., Tampa, 813-953-5000. colonygrill.com

Crisp & Green This Minnesota-based health-forward concept is set to open 30 loca tions over the next few years, with Tampa listed (although there are no specific loca tions). Popular menu items include salads, grain bowls and smoothies made with fresh produce. This franchise regularly works with local gyms and influencers, and there are already locations open in Venice, Orlando and Naples. crispandgreen.com

DalMoros Fresh Pasta DalMoros opened its first Tampa location earlier this year inside of the Armature Works food hall, and took over

the spot formerly occupied by Dharma Southern Kitchen, a plant-based eatery. This is Tampa Bay’s second DalMoros location, following the St. Petersburg spot that opened downtown in 2021. The fast-casual pasta spot offers a variety of pasta styles, made fresh daily, that you can pair with your favorite sauce. 1910 N Ola Ave. Tampa, 813-726-1963. dalmoros.us

Dave’s Hot Chicken Earlier this year, this popular Los Angeles-based chicken shop announced eight new locations in the Tampa Bay area, with outposts planned for Hillsborough, Pasco and Polk counties. The menu is simple and straightfor ward, including chicken staples, as well as mac & cheese, cheese fries and house made kale slaw—but the specific locations are still TBA. daveshotchicken.com

sibling brand, Buffalo’s Express. The parent company, Whole Factor Inc. intends to open loca tions in Orlando, as well. Besides being part of Ice’s Cube’s “Good Day,” Fatburger also offers made-to-order burgers, shakes, chicken sand wiches, sides and more. fatburger.com

DINING GUIDE

Fazoli’s Earlier this year, this fast-casual Italian chain known for “Real Italian. Real Fast,” opened a location across the street from Busch Gardens. The chain is known for its baked pasta dishes, as well as “fan favorites’’ such as lasagna, chicken fettuccine alfredo, and spaghetti and meatballs. There is also a non-pasta section featuring wings and pizza. 4011 E Busch Blvd, Tampa. 813-644-4789. fazolis.com

Fatburger Fatburger is projected to come to Tampa, opening four locations within the next three years. These locations (all still TBA) will also carry a limited menu from its wing-centric

Florida Cracker Fish Company This fishy spot recently opened a location in Citrus Park, in the building that used to host the popular Ballyhoo Grill. Florida Cracker Fish Company is an offshoot of its parent company continued on page 27

HALAL YEAH: A staple Texan food truck is putting new roots down in Tampa Bay.

continued from page 25

Florida Cracker Kitchen, which has locations in Brooksville, Dade City and Homosassa. Some menu highlights include the Florida State Fish Tacos, the South Tampa Po’ Boys and the Mac & Fried Gator Tail mac ‘n’ cheese. 7604 Ehrlich Rd., Tampa, 813-336-6460. floridacrackerfish company.com

Huey Magoo’s Chicken Tenders Located in Pinellas Park just down the street from Jollibee and PDQ, this chicken tender fran chise offers more than just tenders and features a variety of sandwiches, wraps, salads, and meal combos. 4590 Park Blvd. Suite 100, Pinellas Park, 727-914-7004. hueymagoos.com

Kale Me Crazy Opened in Midtown Tampa earlier this year, KMC is on a mission to pro vide people with “real food,” which according to the chain means smoothies, salads, wraps and juices, all made with fresh and organic ingredi ents. This is Florida’s second location, following another outpost in Miami. 1110 Gramercy Ln., Tampa, 813-353-1027. kalemecrazy.net

Mandola’s Italian Kitchens Following a location off of Dale Mabry Highway and another in Riverview, Oldsmar recently welcomed its first Mandola’s location, with another location open ing in Odessa next year. This 5,000 square-foot spot dishes Italian classics like chicken parme san, shrimp scampi, lasagna and pizzas. The menu also offers desserts, soups, salads, and beer and wine. 3138 Tampa Rd., Oldsmar, 813729-8741. mandolas.com

Mighty Quinn’s Barbeque This popular Brooklyn-based barbecue chain opened its first Florida location last month. It’s also Mighty Quinn’s first ever drive-thru location, but also features indoor and outdoor seating. Overall, it’s a pretty straightforward menu, featuring bris ket, spare ribs, chicken wings, and a variety of other typical barbecue dishes, as well as platter options allowing guests to mix and match pro teins and sides. 202 N Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa, 813-575-0580. mightyquinnsfranchise.com

Portillo’s St. Petersburg welcomed its first Portillo’s Hot Dogs earlier this year, with the next closest location being 32 miles away near the USF Tampa campus. The menu offers Chicago-style street food such as char-broiled burgers, hot dogs, ribs, salads, sandwiches and more. A plant-based “Garden Dog” was recently added to the menu. 2302 Tyrone Blvd. N, St. Petersburg, 727-390-6625. portillos.com

Raising Cane’s Coming soon to Clearwater, across the street from Chick-Fil-A, this chicken tender chain has not yet released an opening date, but will face a lot of competi tion. Surrounded by other chicken spots like PDQ, Chicky Chicky Bang Bang, King of the Coop, Tender Shack, Hoots, Zaxby’s and more, Clearwater is becoming tendie town. 2525 Gulf to Bay Blvd., Clearwater. raisingcanes.com

Shuckin’ Shack Oyster Bar This North Carolina-based oyster bar is opening a Wesley Chapel location, but the date and address has not yet been confirmed. Serving cocktails, oysters, shrimp, crab cakes, fish tacos and more, this will be Florida’s second Shuckin’ Shack location, following the Ocala spot. theshuckinshack.com

Sunda New Asian Chicago-based eatery Sunda New Asian is coming to Midtown Tampa with pan-Asian cuisine that spans everything from Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino, Thai food and more. Some menu high lights include sushi rolls, crispy pork belly, and bulgogi roti tacos. No opening date has been announced. sundanewasian.com

Sweetgreen Sweetgreen is planning three new locations in Tampa Bay, with one already up and running on the ground level of The Pearl apartments in Tampa Heights. Others are coming to South Tampa’s Hyde Park Village and Central Avenue in St. Pete. The menu offers a wide variety of bowls and salads, as well as a hot honey chicken plate, and sides including buffalo cauliflower and focaccia bread. sweetgreen.com

Torchy’s Tacos Austin-based Torchy’s Tacos is coming to St. Pete, though the open ing date has not been released. Moving into the space that used to host Pollo Tropical, the menu features breakfast tacos, “Damn Good” tacos such as the “Trailer Park” featuring fried chicken, “Not a Taco” entrees, and sides. There will also be meatless options such as the “Mofaux” featuring beyond beef and veg gies. Another location is planned for Altamonte Springs. 2314 Tyrone Blvd. N, St. Petersburg. torchystacos.com

True Food Kitchen Midtown Tampa has all the chains including this True Food, which is Tampa’s only (though there are other spots open across the state including Boca Raton, Jacksonville, Miami, Naples and West Palm Beach). The menu is very health-forward, featur ing appetizers such as roasted Brussels sprouts, bowls such as the spaghetti squash casserole, entrees including fall pesto pasta, and plenty of other healthy and hearty dishes. 3645 Midtown Dr., Tampa, 813-327-4455. truefoodkitchen.com

Walk-On’s Sports Bistreaux This national sports bar franchise opened up a location in Midtown Tampa earlier this year. Known for its

extensive beer list, American food classics, and abundance of TVs, Walk-On’s boasts a friendly atmosphere and craft cocktails. There are already several Walk-On’s locations in Florida, including Wesley Chapel and Lakeland. 1140 Gramercy Ln., Tampa, 813-771-7100. walk-ons.com

Yard House Owned by the same company as Olive Garden, the beer-centric Yard House chain is planning a new location across the street from Amalie Arena. The opening date has not yet been determined, but if you’re eager to give it a try, the next nearest location is at the Icon Park attraction in Orlando. The menu features a wide variety of vegan dishes, as well as bar bites and over 100 beers on tap. 450 Channelside Dr., Tampa. yardhouse.com

Zen Noodle Bar This Gainesville-based pan-asian eatery is set to open in Temple Terrace, not far from the University of South Florida and Busch Gardens. The opening date has yet to be announced, but it is coming soon. The menu features a fusion of Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese and Japanese cuisine, with some menu favorites being the egg rolls, banh mi, bao buns, dumplings and sushi bowls. 8787 N 56th St., Temple Terrace. zenasianeats.com

SO HOT: Austin-based Torchy’s Tacos is coming to St. Pete.

TORCHYSBROADWAY/FACEBOOK

MOVIES THEATER ART CULTURE

Bless this mess

A new travel guide perfectly captures offbeat life south of the South.

By Ray Roa

It was feet and retirees that brought Gabrielle Calise to Florida.

“My parents were podiatrists,” she told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Mom needed a new job, which meant the family had to move out of Cleveland. “There’s a lot of old people with some messed up feet in Florida, so that was kind of where the opportunity was.”

Calise was just nine years old and remem bers being excited but also somewhat grossed out and confused by her new home. “It was so hot. The lizards are running everywhere. You have flying roaches. I was like, ‘Where are we? What is this?,’” she added.

caves in Marianna, and “The Psychic Capital of Florida” Cassadaga. There are recipes (honey dripper, anyone?), essays, how-tos, and even an ode to Publix from “Wait Five Minutes” podcaster Nick D’Alessandro.

While some snot-nosed, know-it-all locals will feel a familiarity in certain sections of the book, the collection of work packs surprises on seemingly every other page.

BOOKS

Eighteen years later, Calise is a bonafide guide to all the offbeat, quirky and quintessentially Floridian corners of this crazy peninsula we call home.

Her tour comes in the form of “Florida! A Hyper-Local Guide to the Flora, Fauna, and Fantasy of the Most Far-out State in America,” a nearly 600-page bible with a puffy, pale-almostpastel-pink cover that’s more or less soft enough to sleep on after the second bottle of wine you had because you didn’t want to stop reading the damn thing.

The book—published by A24, which immor talized our state in films like “The Florida Project,” “Zola” and “Spring Breakers”—can be used as a road trip planner, but is a trip in itself.

Each chapter has its own gatefold map and is named for a region of the state: Panhandle, North Florida, Gulf Coast, Central Florida, Space Coast, South Florida, and The Keys. The pages are plastered with new and vintage photos, often laid out full bleed. Designers Jordi Ng and Elana Schlenker tie it all together with strikingly play ful illustrations from Gabe Acala, who also fronts revered Miami garage-rock band Jacuzzi Boys.

Calise, 27, said hers was never much of a Disney family; similarly, the book she edited and wrote a big chunk of eschews tropes and avoids the Mousetrap. Instead, readers are transported to small towns, natural wonders, and brick-andmortars that define life in so many places that don’t appear on most maps. Boca Chita Key gets some ink, as do ghost towns like Pinecrest, the

“I think the Panhandle probably had the most ‘What the fuck?’ moments. There are so many weird traditions they have up there. It just feels very, very different,” Calise said before immediately explaining worm grunting, which is basically the practice of turning worms out of the ground like a snake charmer.

The WTF-ness trickles down to Marion County thanks to herpes monkeys, but Calise and the Floridians she tapped to help write the book—including D’Allesandro, Tyler Gillespie, Jason Katz, Ashira Morris and Kathryn Varn— also don’t dance around truly fucked up aspects of life south of South. Paradise Park, a segrega tion-era recreation area for Black Ocalaians not allowed at Silver Springs, is documented along with the dystopian new urbanism of Seaside where “The Truman Show” was filmed.

“I think the biggest thing that people didn’t understand was just how much we put in there. There’s so much reporting. It’s not just a bunch of pictures or diagrams or things like that,” Calise added.

There’s plenty of Tampa Bay in the mixto, too.

One of the many twopage spreads is an essential guide to making a Cuban sandwich the Tampeño way (step five: salami, thank you very much). Elsewhere in the Gulf Coast section, author Gloria Muñoz pens a tribute to the Weeki Wachee mermaids while Randy Constan (Ybor City’s real life Peter Pan) takes readers to a historic district dance mecca The Castle.

Calise even oversaw a different kind of spread featuring the dangling dongs and bare naked bosoms of Pasco County nudists—some thing that she might not have been able to pull off in her day job.

“There’s a lot of things that they have let me do,” Calise said about the Tampa Bay Times where she started as an intern in 2018 before eventually carving out a culture and nostalgia beat for herself two years later. “But for this I kind of got to let my hair down even more, which I really appreciated because it’s a different type of audience, and you can be a little more free.”

And free is what A24 really let Calise be for the project. Initially, the company even said she could write the entire book herself if she wanted to.

“But I didn’t want that. I wanted there to be people who had ownership of their part of Florida, if that makes sense. I know the Gulf Coast really well, I know other parts of Florida really well, but I don’t know everything, right?,” she added. “I wanted to bring other people along and kind of pass them the mic.”

So local voices, from the bylines to the sources, are exactly what you get. It’s a good thing, too.

A theme that continually came up in the year it took to take “Florida!” from inception to

the final product was the rest of the country’s exponentially-growing fascination with, and migration to, our neck of the woods.

“It’s hard to fall in love with a place, and to be raised by a place, and then you look around and you see it changing. But I think that’s why people were so excited about this project,” Calise said. “It’s this huge platform to really document things that we love the most, are just confused by, or lovingly poke fun at, about our home state. No matter what happens, there’s always going to be this great big pink book that’s sitting on someone’s shelf somewhere in the world.”

Calise is happy being a twentysomething in Florida for now, but admitted that the ris ing cost of living and “climate stuff” means she, too, could end up elsewhere on the globe. But if she does leave, it won’t be feet that do the job.

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen, or if I’m going to stay my whole life here, but right now it’s perfect,” she said.

“When it’s underwater, maybe I’ll get a boat and paddle away.”

PINKO SCRIBE: For this big, pink book, Gabrielle Calise got to let her hair down.

KATHRYN VARN

“I wanted to bring other people along and kind of pass them the mic.”

The long and short of it

Catching up with Florida man, Billy Collins.

By Caroline DeBruhl

Billy Collins is a former U.S. Poet Laureate, a New York Times best seller, and now a bona fide Florida man. In November, the writer and Winter Park resident released his new book, “Musical Tables,” via Penguin Random House. The work is one of his longest books—I counted 129 poems—and in a lot of ways, also one of his shortest. There are poems that are like a single line or couplet, and it’s a wonder how Collins, 81, ended up going in this direction.

BOOKS

And there’s certainly no room for suspense. But there is room for what I would call “torque” that involves a twisting and turning like a wrench. So often, the torque of the twist involves some interplay between literal and figurative…it can be taking a cliché and twisting it into a new shape, maybe taking it literarily.

[But] just because it’s a short poem, it still has the possibility of a certain poignancy…I think the best poems there’s playfulness and there’s seriousness. There can be a little stab, a little tension.

With a title like “Musical Tables,” I do have to ask you about musical influences in your work. I know you’re a lover of jazz and in your longer poems, there’s definitely a musicality to it.

What sort of musicality do small poems have?

sacrifices musicality and lyricism, one sacrifices the development of persona, any kind of conver sational intimacy you might have had with the reader if you were writing a somewhat longer poem. But what you gain is a kind of radical example of poetry’s long honored and praised ability to say important things in very small spaces…to push strong emotion into a poem of 140 syllables (which is basically a perfect son net) but here it’s more like pushing some kind of meaning or emotion into a handful of syllables.

“I think I really was drawn to small poems early on,” Collins told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “When I get a book of new poems, I often just flip through and see if I can find short ones. And nursery rhymes are short. But I think when I was in high school, I discovered haiku because the beat movement was going on then.”

As he sifted through journals a year or so ago, Collins found a trail. So he went back into notebooks and easily gathered 100 poems and started writing more, in a very concentrated way, thinking he would end up with a novelty book called, “100 Small Poems.” But his editor had a different idea. “He immediately said, ‘This is not a novelty. This is not a curiosity. This is just our next book,’” Collins added. Read more of our Q&A below and see the full chat via cltampa.com.

When you say you’ve gone back to journals, does that mean some of these poems are much older?

I’d say most of them are within the past five or seven years, so probably a few that are that are slightly older but you can’t really tell the differ ence because I haven’t developed much, or any, as a short poem writer, they all seem to be kind of doings something of the same thing. I’ll give you an example:

3:00AM

Only my hand is asleep, but it’s a start.

Here’s another:

Motel Parking Lot

Saying goodbye is so sad, I don’t even bother

to turn around to see what it was you just threw at me.

There’s no time for things like landscape or meditation or memories and that kind of thing.

To that end, many of your poems have this sense of humor that comes from twisting those clichés and expanding them. How does that humorous torque work for small poems? Does it feel more like making a joke?

It’s a very distinct feeling. I think you’ve got to get in the mood for it or be on the lookout… if you’re watching television or reading and you come across something you think can be twisted… But, often the little poems arrive fully formed. And there’s very little what you call “a compositional process,” very minimal revi sion. And that’s kind of the thrill of them—that they arrive with immediacy. They just occur.

I think if you’ve got a really short one, it’s almost like a chord. The effect of the poem is so sudden that it’s not so much a number of notes as a certain chord that leaves you with some kind of feeling. You really reduce the musical possibilities of a poem when you get rid of the long line, or the pentameter line.

If you had to pick an instrument for the chord of small poems, what would it be? I guess maybe the French horn or the trumpet. Something with one or two notes and has a sharpness. But again, music tends to be continu ous and builds upon itself. In small poems, one

Yeah, that’s spot on. In "Musical Tables," each little poem has its own page, so there’s a great deal of silence surrounding it. I think the key difference between poetry and prose is that prose fills a page line by line [then] onto the next page. Poetry occupies a discreet place on the page, a little area where it takes place and I think of the blank space around any poem as being silence, so I like to say that poetry (or a poem) is the displacement of silence.

MARCELO NOAH

Do you think that small poems are able to use silence more just because there’s so much literary white space surrounding them?

“There’s no time in these poems for things like landscape or meditation or memories.”

SOUND OF SHORTNESS: Billy Collins says his new poems are kind of like chords.

Hot sheets

More of the best books for another frigid Florida winter.

By Caroline DeBruhl and Ray Roa

“Cozy” is a complicated concept in cen tral Florida, especially when it comes to the winter. We just don’t have the same touchstones as others. While many of our Yankee countrymen are donning cable-knit, Floridians are still heading to rapidly-eroding beaches, excited that the water has finally dipped below 85 degrees. Our pumpkin spices are icy, our sweaters still tucked away until those two cold weeks in January. Luckily, curling up with a good book is a cozy activity you can do from both a beach chair and in front of a roaring fireplace. With Florida being home to hundreds of writ ers—including many in Tampa Bay—here’s a non-definitive list of new releases from Florida’s own to keep your cozy time local.

BOOKS

local product (and alum of Ybor City’s Booker T. Washington when it was a middle school) and former Seminole fan who was so shaken by the end of the Charlie Ward era that he switched alliances. His book reads like a diary entry and is strangely cathartic for anyone who’s ever been left in a lurch by their favorite team’s tri als and tribulations. FFO: Danny Wuerffel, being non-committal about Urban Meyer’s off-field gaffes (Newman Springs Publishing, $13.95)

wood, shoot a gun, and care for the 75 animals that call her farm home—including herself. FFO: The Growing Season, Cork Dork, and cottagecore (The Dial Press, $28)

Nonfiction

100 Things To Do In Tampa Bay Before You Die (3rd Edition) by Kristen Hare After releasing the first edition of “100 Things” in 2014, Tampa Bay Times obituary writer Kristen Hare returned this year with the third install ment that’s not only a guidebook for newcomers but a secret list of things that even the most seasoned Tampa Bay locals might not have done.

For fans of: road trips, not arguing over what to do today (Reedy Press, $17)

Championship Hangover: The Urban Meyer Years in Florida, the Aftermath, and the Long Road Back by John Crowley This one was published in 2021, but didn’t hit our eyeballs until after the pandemic. Crowley is a

The Cuban Sandwich: A History In Layers by Andrew T. Huse, Bárbara C. Cruz, Jeff Houck If there was a must have book for self-respecting Tampeños, this is it. Across nearly 150 pages, this gastronomical triumvirate of local historians present deep research that criss-crosses the northern hemi sphere from Cuba, to Florida, Nevada, Chicago, the east coast, all the way to Ireland, all in the name of sending to press a definitive history of Florida’s iconic sandwich. FFO: Going down the wormhole, salami, being the most interesting person at the lunch counter (University Press of Florida, $24.95)

Daffodil Hill: Uprooting My Life, Buying a Farm, and Learning to Bloom by Jake Keiser When Keiser was living in Tampa, she ran a high-powered PR firm and juggled din ners, galas, and relationships. But at 38, after a failed marriage, several miscarriages, and filled with anxiety, Keiser makes the biggest impulse purchase of a lifetime: a working farm in rural Mississippi. She learns how to haul

Dreams In the New Century by Gary Mormino Everyone’s flocking to the free state of Florida, but they should all pay a toll to Mormino first. A living legend in the state, USF St. Petersburg’s Frank E. Duckwall Professor of History Emeritus returned this year with a masterful, thick, reflection and education on the conflicts, grifts, and cultural nuances that entail life in this post-9/11 Sunshine State. From the environment to development, elections, immi gration and more, Mormino covers it in this ominous work that should be required reading in the state capitol and at universities across the peninsula. FFO: Policymaking, dragging ponzi schemers, occasionally thinking about the apocalypse (University Press of Florida, $34.95)

Florida’s Carnivorous Plants: Understanding, Identifying, and Cultivating the State’s Native Species by Kenny Coogan If you thought only Florida’s fauna was frightening, think again! Turns out our native flora is also fucking terrifying. Florida is home to more native carnivorous plants than any other state in the country (pardon?), and those little vampires use appealing scents and sticky fluids to trap their live prey. If bloodthirsty butterworts make your heart pitter-patter, check out this resource book which includes an identi fication guide, propagation tips, and how to grow at home. FFO: Little Shop of Horrors, Nature’s vulgar and cruel brutality, eccentric gardening. (Pineapple Press, $22.95)

Lost Storytellers: The Information Apocalypse in the Modern Newsroom by John Pendygraft Some halls of journalism still dangerously believe in the kind of bothsidesism

that legitimizes voices which are 100% wrong and often peddle hateful rhetoric. Former Tampa Bay Times photojournalist Pendygraft addresses the rise in fake news in parts of his new book, which at times feels like a reckoning. I’m always interested in anything that might shed light on the thinking inside Tampa Bay’s biggest news room, and was not disappointed. FFO: Nieman Lab newsletters, arguing about the usefulness of social media (University Press of Florida, $28)

Oldest Tampa Bay by Joshua Ginsberg The Bay area’s preeminent riddler, and author of “Tampa Bay Scavenger,” is back with a book that looks even further back than Henry Plant as it gives readers 90 quick-hit chapters that introduce the Bay area’s historical pioneers and events. FFO: Trivia, their 813 area code (Reedy Press, $22.50)

Rogers Park Golf Course: 18 Holes Of History by Lionel Ballard & Ursula K Odom Tampa’s Rogers Park is a living history museum, and people who know all about it still walk the greens and fairways every day. Blake High School alum Lionel Ballard realized that no one had put together a definitive history of the community staple, so he did it himself—and it’s a good thing he did. Some of the folks he talked to over the last few years have passed, but their stories and pictures about how this hub of Black family life has evolved are now enshrined in this niche work that should be on the shelf of any local sports fan. FFO: Black history, local sports, the “Tampeño” v. “Tampanian” debate (Sula Too Publishing, $32)

Tampa Triangle Dead Zone by Capt. Bill Miller OK, this book is 25 years old and probably not non-fiction, but revisiting it, and finally getting to meet its author, was a high light of 2022. Capt. Bill Miller’s wild conspiracy

continued on page 34

ROGER THAT: Lionel Ballard (L) and Jim Dent are just part of the fabric that makes Rogers Park so special.

Auguste Rodin, The Shade, first modelled c. 1880, enlarged c. 1901, this cast 1969 (Musée Rodin 6/12), Bronze, Los Angeles County Museum of Art, Gift of B. Gerald Cantor Art Foundation, photo © Museum Associates/LACMA

This exhibition was organized by the Los Angeles County Museum of Art.

theories still hold water, and you’ll never look at your home carpet, or the waters surround ing our neck of the woods, the same again. FFO: Unsolved Mysteries, R. L. Stine, taking mush rooms (Ticket To Adventure Inc., $14.95)

We Carry Their Bones by Erin Kimmerle Forensic anthropologist Kimmerle reports on one of the darkest chapters of Florida’s his tory: The Arthur G. Dozier School For Boys. Established in 1900 and running until 2011, the reform school subjected its mostly Black students (aged 6-21) to torture, rape, slave labor, and other brutal conditions. Many students were killed by guards or trying to escape, only to be buried somewhere on campus. After the school was shut down, Dr. Kimmerle began to “ground map” the school’s graveyard, only to discover twice the amount of graves elsewhere on the grounds. As Kimmerle and her team worked to identify remains to reunite the boys with their families, they were threatened and harassed by those who wanted to keep the truth buried.

FFO: The Nickel Boys, Bellevue, Midnight in Chernobyl (William Morrow, $27.99)

Literary fiction

All Day is A Long Time by David Sanchez At age 14, bookish David runs away from home to chase a girl and ends up falling in love with crack cocaine instead. He spends the next decade weaving in and out of jail, rehab, and Florida’s gulf coast, all while trying to main tain his sobriety. Florida writer Karen Russell wrote: “Sanchez is a literary cartographer, map ping an intricate overlay of his young narrator’s psychological states and Florida’s real beaches and swamps, those coastlines in continuous revision.” FFO: ”The Mars Room”, “Cherry,” and probably ”Euphoria” (Catapult, $27)

The Displacements by Bruce Holsinger

The Larsen-Hall family has the American dream: healthy kids, a loving marriage, money, success, and a brand new house in Miami—until Luna, the world’s first category six hurricane, upends everything. This thrill of a novel follows the family who, with no home, career, or finances, end up with a FEMA mega-shelter with a cast of characters including a drug-dealing insur ance agent, a group of Dickensian kids, and a relief worker trying to keep everyone together. FFO: The Leftovers, and page-turning suspense. (Riverhead, $27)

Florida Woman by Deb Rogers After a ridiculous crime she never meant to commit goes viral, Jamie becomes a “Florida Woman.” With a court order for community service, Jamie begins work at Atlas, a shelter for rescued monkeys, hoping for a fresh start. But something sinister is lurking in the woods, with the staff performing cryptic rituals. As Jamie dives deeper, she finds a truth stranger than any Florida headline. FFO: Karen Russell, Kristin Arnett, and ”Tiger King” (Hanover Square Press, $27.99)

Beach reads

The Homewreckers by Mary Kay Andrews Young widow Hattie Kavanaugh loves her work as a home renovator—and the money pit she’s recently acquired. So in dire need of some cash for both her home and Kavanaugh & Son Restorations, she’s thrilled to be cast on a renovation reality TV show, opposite a hand some cad. However, demotion reveals a mystery about a missing wife from years before and brings out a burned-out detective to investigate. While juggling a love triangle (because of course there's a love triangle), a possible arsonist, finan cial woes, and stubborn vintage wallpaper, will Hattie’s heart flip or flop? FFO: Cozy mysteries, HGTV, and love triangles (St. Martin’s Publishing Group, $17.99)

The Librarian Spy by Madeline Martin This World War II novel follows the paths of two women. The first is American Ava, a librarian at the Library of Congress who gets transferred to Lisbon, Portugal with a new mission to gather intelligence for the government while posing as a librarian. Then there is French Elaine, who works for a printing press run by the French resistance. As the war rages on, both Ava and Elaine are connected through coded messages and their mutual hope to survive. FFO: The Rose Code, The Warsaw Orphan, and Nazis suffering. (HQ Fiction, $28.99)

The Sweetness of Forgetting (10th Anniversary Edition) by Kristin Harmel Hope McKenna-Smith has been through the wringer: after losing her mother, her husband left her, and now she’s left with money troubles and a failing bak ery all while trying to raise a troubled preteen as a single mom. Her beloved French grandmother, Mamie, has Alzheimer’s Disease but, in a moment of clarity, begins to reveal mysterious parts of her past in WWII Paris, including a secret she’s held on to for all these years. The 10th-anniversary edition of this book includes a new author’s note and recipes, which should keep you plenty busy this winter. FFO: Strong matriarchs, Parisian WWII stories, and French pastry (Gallery Books, $17.99)

BOOKS

Death a Sketch: A Paint & Shine Mystery 3 by Cheryl Hollon Miranda’s busi ness—an Appalachian adventure tour with art and moonshine—is about to host a sporting goods company retreat. While Miranda has planned some laid-back team-building exer cises, the company executives prefer something a bit more competitive. The workers are divided up into teams and told that only the winners will keep their jobs. As tension spikes, a participant is found dead, but the competition still rages on. Can Miranda figure out who the killer is among these cut-throat customers? FFO: Maddie Day, Bethany Blake, and those who hate CEOs. (Kensington, $8.99)

secrets, and with a deadly storm brewing, a creepy host lurking, and a stranger in their midst, the dream vacation tumbles into a nightmare. FFO: Locked-room thrillers, Ruth Ware, and hating on Airbnb (Park Row Books, $27.99)

Horror

Helen House by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Crime fiction

All The Broken Girls by Linda Hurtado

Bond A serial killer is stalking West Tampa, leaving a broken doll at every scene (someone call Chief Dugan!). Cuban American crime reporter Mari Alvarez is on the hunt for the killer, count ing on her Abuela’s Azabache charm to protect her. But, level-headed homicide detective Tony Garcia needs more than a journalist’s hunch to crack the case—he needs proof. Will the pair solve it before the killer strikes again? Written by Fox 13’s Linda Hurtado, an award-winning journalist and Tampa local. FFO: Serial killers, sexual tension, and special charms (Entangled Publishing, $8.99)

Live and Let Grind (A Coffee Lover’s Mystery Book 3) by Tara Lush If you prefer your mysteries cozy and to revolve around cafes instead of police stations, then take a trip to Devil’s Beach, Florida, where laid-off journal ist Lana Lewis runs the Perkatory, a thriving coffee shop. When Lana’s neighbor Gus is killed, everyone around her becomes a suspect. Is it Lana’s best friend, Erica, who screamed at him over his leaf blowing? Mickey and Doug, who were burned by Gus’s pirate-themed tourist cruise business? An ex-wife? Will Lana be able to snoop out the real killer before time runs out? FFO: Cleo Coyle, Laura Child, cold-brew (Crooked Lane Books, $28.99)

Secluded Cabin Sleeps Six by Lisa Unger Tampa Bay’s prolific thriller-writer is at it again! When Hannah’s rich tech brother books her a secluded luxury cabin for her birthday, complete with a personal chef and hot tub, Hannah is excited to relax with her brother, their spouses, and another couple. But both the house and the guests have

The unnamed narrator has lost her sister. So has her new girlfriend, Amber. When they arrive at Amber’s parents’ rural home, an uncomfort able first meeting becomes a nightmare when the narrator finds herself in a family’s decades-long mourning ritual. Sometimes terrifying, sometimes erotic, "Helen House” is a queer ghost story deal ing with trauma and grief. FFO: Carmen Maria Machado, Shirley Jackson, A24 films. (Burrow Press, $20)

Young adult and kids

Catastrophe Theory by Rebecca Lowry

Warchut Vera Garcia’s soccer career is cut short by a brain tumor. Her single mother, Eliza, is terrified of losing her daughter and holds on too tight. When they arrive in St. Pete for surgery, Hurricane Phoenix starts barreling towards themt, so mother-daughter must face the chaos together. This surreal novel blends coming of age with love, art, and history. FFO: When The Moon Was Ours, Salvador Dali (Woodhall Press, $18.95)

Dreaming of Tampa Illustrated by Nathan Heinze Sports teams are a good way to make a kid fall in love with a city, but this board book is the next best thing and the perfect rein forcement to all your trips on the TECO Streetcar, to Ybor City, downtown Tampa and Hyde Park. FFO: Being a good parent (Arcadia, $9.99)

HAUNTED HOUSE: Forensic anthropologist Erin Kimmerle reports on one of the darkest chapters of Florida’s history.

By Josh Bradley & Ray Roa C CL Recommends

Editor’s note: We cut this week’s music pre view for space. See an expanded version on cltampa.com/music.

THU 01

Slothrust Orpheum’s new location has an outdoor stage that is quickly becoming a rite of passage for bands as they make their ascent from intimate club shows to larger venues like Jannus Live and even Yuengling Center. Leah Wellbaum was made for big moments, and it’ll be a treat to see her grab the reins for Slothrust’s kickoff of a tour supporting its lat est album, Parallel Timeline . The outing is the Boston rock band’s first since the pandemic and finds the outfit moving away from guitar soundscapes and using the instrument more like another voice in its grungy, attacking style of hard rock. (Orpheum, Tampa)

Rock the Park Tampa: Mak w/Sintell Terry/Evan Koteles Downtown Tampa’s original riverfront park is a winter wonder land right now, complete with lights, a kids choo-choo train, street curling, cocoa stands and even an ice skating rink. On Thursday, everyone reveling in the holiday spirit gets to witness a decade-long tradition of free monthly concerts when indie-pop darling Mak takes the stage along with “Champion Freestyle” rapper-poet Sintell Terry, plus songwriter Evan Koteles. (Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park, Tampa)

FRI 02

ChootyB w/The Black Ace/Biishop The Artist/Johnny Champagne/Jst Ray Berklee-educated saxophonist Nick Bredal has played in notable local jazz and funk ensembles like Ethos of Aldissi and Chaka, and this weekend his horn and beatmak ing is front and center under the ChootyB moniker. Bredal is joined on the bill by rapper Adrian O’Sullivan (aka The Black Ace), singer Biishop the Artist, plus host Jay Browne and DJ Perception. Get there early to see Choots onstage early as part of a seven-piece band supporting Jst Ray—DJ for wild-ass-fuck hiphop group Barely Legal Collective—who’s putting on the songwriter hat for this show. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)

Ryan Griffin w/Greylan James Rising country superstar Griffin literally grew up working on a farm, so if there’s anyone in modern country who actually sings from firsthand experience, it’s him. Griffin’s latest EP Slow Down Sunrise sounds as contemporary as his larger-scale peers, and sees him give his take on (responsibly) drinking your problems away, and giving a woman special access to an entertainment spot after closing time. Greyland James opens. (Crowbar, Ybor City)

SAT 03

97X Next Big Thing: Machine Gun Kelly w/Jack White/All Time Low/Dirty Heads with Rome/Phoenix/Yungblud/ more The time has come, alt-rock kids. Rockrapper Machine Gun Kelly is set to headline day one on 97X’s annual throwdown along with support from NBT veteran band All Time Low, Grammy nominee Gayle—who opened for AJR’s stop here earlier this year—and rising Tejano rock band Giovannie and the Hired Guns. As for Sunday, it’s Jack White at the forefront, along with the likes of Dirty Heads with Rome, Phoenix, and Yungblud just to name a few. This year’s NBT marks the first time White—who just played Orlando—will rock Tampa as a solo artist, and his first gig here since his days with The White Stripes. (Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa)

Matt Hires It’s been a while since one of Tampa’s favorite troubadours released new material, but Hires has been doing us proud for well over a decade. Whether he’s open ing for Dave Matthews, or losing his religion on perhaps one of the most personal albums ever made by a Tampa Bay musician, the 37-year-old definitely can’t say that his life has been boring. He did move to Nashville a few years back, but he’s coming home this weekend for a duo of Florida gigs: One in St. Augustine, and this one at the finest listening room in Tampa. (The Attic at Rock Brothers, Ybor City)

Shrek rave Though a current nationwide phenomenon, the Shrek-themed celebra tion began as a birthday party for North Carolina native rapper and known meme lord, Ka5ash, in Los Angeles. After the original St. Patrick’s Day rave in L.A. experienced viral success and appearances from celebrities and influencers like rapper Rico

Nasty, Ka5ash planned another rave in New York. And then another in LA. And then San Francisco, Portland, Chicago and the rest is history. You’ll never shine if you don’t glow. (Orpheum, Tampa)—Molly Ryan

Soen w/Oceans of Slumber It’s been an unforgettable year for Swedish metal supergroup Soen. Featuring ex-members of Opeth, Willowtree, and The Jolly-Boat Pirates, the quintet not only released a concert film last month, but also had The Undiscovered Lotus —loaded with unreleased studio and live tracks—release for Record Store Day. The band’s Tampa debut is also part of what appears to be Soen’s first full-fledged U.S. tour ever. (Crowbar, Ybor City)

Tropical Meats Wave II: Pangaea Plus w/Andy and the Argonauts/Sculpted Air/ Navin Ave./The Holy Terror/Same Day Delivery Orchestra/more A year after his passing, there’s still a giant, Owen Meatssized hole in the hearts of the Tampa music community. Friends and collaborators— including the eccentric Holy Terror, rocking Rototiller and dynamic Same Day Delivery Orchestra—take to Tampa Heights for this second installment of an annual, day-long celebration of Meats’ life and spirit. (Shuffle, Tampa)

Uke It Out 7: Applebutter Express Duo/Jct 27/more Between this event, Dunedin’s ukulele weekend and downtown Clearwater’s ascendent Ukulele Fest in the District, Tampa Bay is becoming a hotzone for the versatile, enduring four-stringed instrument. WMNF, on its 7th Uke It Out, taps more than a dozen performers for this familyfriendly event at one of the coziest breweries in town. Definitely bring your uke for the open jam and lessons. (Cage Brewing, St. Petersburg)

DAVID JAMES SWANSON

Jack White

SUN 04

Rod Wave w/Toosii/Mariah The Scientist

Less than a year ago, Rod Wave was bump ing Justin Bieber into second place on the Billboard 200, but his summer was marred by an arrest for battery by strangulation. This weekend, the St. Petersburg rapper gone global plays USF’s arena in support of his latest EP, Jupiter’s Diary: 7 Day Theor y. (Yuengling Center, Tampa)

form by dishing out a punishing bill of metal and hardcore featuring chaotic New York outfit Godseyes, dark and heavy Virginia band Terror Cell, plus lucha mask-wearing wrestling-themed Florida grindcore unit Shining Wizard. Local support comes from ‘90s-style hardcore punk band Dead Mirrors. Don’t crack your head open on the floor, guys. (Born Free Pub & Grill, Tampa)

Revenge w/D’Arcy Rock duo She Wants Revenge very nearly called it a day in August 2020, but has appeared to patch things up. Last spring, Justin Warfield and Adam Bravin announced that they would go forward in creating their fourth studio album together, and made plans to hit the road. After a series of west coast gigs during the late summer, the duo returns to Tampa Bay this weekend for the first time since a 2017 gig at St. Pete’s State Theatre (now Floridian Social Club). Indie pop-punk D’Arcy opens. (Orpheum, Tampa)

She Wants

TUE 06

Loathe w/Static Dress/Omerta/Unity TX

Not every Liverpudlian band takes inspira tion from The Beatles, you know. Metalcore quartet Loathe recently had to cancel a bar rage of dates in Europe and the U.K., in an effort to focus on completing its follow-up album to 2021’s The Things They Believe . The band must be finished, or close to it anyway, because a set of U.S. dates—which includes its second Tampa show this year—was announced not long after said cancellation. (Orpheum, Tampa)

WED 07

Banshee Tree w/Gracie Grieshop

Floridians could really use some Colorado love in these times. Boulder-based quartet Banshee Tree used to play primarily jazz and swing music in clubs and theaters in the Mile High state. But during COVID, band members had plenty of time to write, and toy around with the band’s sound. As a result, Banshee Tree finally unveiled its six-track, eponymous debut album last year, which certainly has elements of all the rock, swing, and punk you could want. (Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa)

Chris Isaak I’d be lying if I said that Isaak’s Forever Blue isn’t one of the best albums to fall asleep to, which I mean in the most com plimentary way possible. The 66-year-old California boy, still encasing a Orbison-esque tenor, is on the heels of a Christmas tour, in support of his latest release, Everybody Knows It’s Christmas , and he recently partook in celebrations honoring Sun Records’ 70th anniversary. This gig is almost sold-out, and there’s no opening act, so don’t be late when you go walking down there to down town Clearwater. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater)

Godseyes w/Terror Cell/Shining

Wizard/Dead Mirrors Born Free might be our favorite new venue find of 2022, and in the final weeks of the year it stays true to

Selwyn Birchwood and Damon Fowler

One of Tampa live music fans’ favorite traditions is an annual acoustic “songs and stories” gig from two of our most prolific bluesmen. Birchwood—who opens for blues legend Bobby Rush in Safety Harbor next month—and southern rocker Fowler are both loaded with stories about their respective careers, and while we’re still hoping for the two to record together, these gigs are never something to pass up. (Side Door Cabaret at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg)

THU 08

Blue October Texas rock band Blue October is currently in the midst of one of its biggest projects ever. The group behind “I Hope You’re Happy” is in the process of putting out a triple album. Not a 3-LP album, but a record being released in three separate installments. Spinning the Truth Around ’s first part emerged in October, while part two is scheduled to drop sometime in the spring (part three is still in development). In the meantime, you’ll probably get to hear a yet-to-be-released track or two on Thursday, when the band takes over Jannus for the first time since last fall. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)

Selwyn Birchwood

IVY NEVILLE

No telling if his tour bus driver will hit the stage again, but Americana icon Lyle Lovett has plans to come back to Clearwater this spring. Tickets to see Lovett during his twonight stand at Clearwater’s Bilheimer Capitol Theatre Tuesday-Wednesday, Feb. 28-March 1 are on sale now and start at $69.50.

For this gig at the Cap, the 65-year-old songwriter will be backed by his acoustic band,

Exhumed w/Escuela Grind/Vitriol/ Castrator Sunday, Dec. 4. 7 p.m. $20. Brass Mug, Tampa

Agnostic Front w/Coldside/Yield To None/Prince Midnight Thursday, Dec. 8. 7 p.m. $18. Brass Mug, Tampa

REHAB w/Boondox Wednesday, Dec. 14. 6:30 p.m. $18 & up. Brass Mug, Tampa

Charity Event for Keith Walker: Mike 2wice w/T.O/Keezie Free/BME Quiz/ Telicia Da Poet/DJ Spaceship Saturday, Dec. 17. 10 p.m. $20. Crowbar, Ybor City

Dean Spunt (of No Age) w/Alien House/ mtvh1n1/Afterworld Thursday, Dec. 22. 7 p.m. $5-10. Hooch and Hive, Tampa

Chuck Owen & ReSurgence w/Kate McGarry Sunday, Jan. 8. 4 p.m. $26$38. Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg

Nellie McKay Friday, Jan. 13. 8 p.m. $30-$50. Side Door Cabaret at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg

The Delta Bombers w/TBA Friday, Jan. 20. 7 p.m. $15. Orpheum, Tampa

including string geniuses Leland Sklar, Jeff White and Luke Bulla who make up the pared down version of Lovett’s large band. Expect Lovett to pull from the breadth of his catalog from this show and also include material from his latest album, 12th of June , released earlier this year.

See Josh Bradley’s weekly concert announcement roundup below.—Ray Roa

The Crystal Method Saturday, Jan. 21. 10 p.m. $15. The Ritz, Ybor City

Bonobo w/Durante Thursday, Jan. 26. 8 p.m. $35. The Ritz, Ybor City

The Koffin Kats w/The Krank Daddies/ more TBA Saturday, Feb. 11. 7 p.m. $15. Orpheum, Tampa

The Juilliard String Quartet Tuesday, Feb. 21. 7:30 p.m. $15-$40. Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg

Time For Three Wednesday, March 8. 7:30 p.m. $15-$40. Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg

The Winery Dogs Friday, March 24. 8 p.m. $30. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Meet Me @ The Altar w/Young Culture/ Daisy Grenade Monday, April 3. 6:30 p.m. $18. Orpheum, Tampa

Transviolet Monday, May 15. 6 p.m. $18. Orpheum, Tampa

The Backseat Lovers Tuesday, May 23. 8 p.m. $35. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Foreigner w/Loverboy Sunday, July 9. 7 p.m. $29.50 & up. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Big gulp

By Caroline DeBruhl

Dear Oracle, a decade ago, in college, my good friend “Grant” dated “Annie.” I had a massive crush on Annie but obviously did nothing about it. (But she might have had a crush on me too?) They broke up a couple of years after college, she moved across the country, and we’ve kept in touch over text. I’ve sort-of-kind-of pined after her all this time. And this weekend, I’m going to visit her in her city! And she invited me to stay with her!! My plan had been to feel out the situation and, if things still felt flirty, confess to her. Then yesterday, out of nowhere, Grant told me he’s going to visit Annie. This weekend. Annie’s now invited him to also stay at her place. So my question is…what the fuck am I supposed to do now?—Ruh-roh Romeo

First and foremost: if Annie wants to date either of you or neither of you, she will make that call. Maybe she wants to date both of you (throuple power), or she might already have a partner and just likes hosting people. I don’t know, man. There are a lot of moving vari ables here.

ORACLE OF YBOR

Unfortunately, the cards aren’t offering much insight. We have the Knight of Cups, the champion of love and big “R” Romance. This, I’m assuming, is you. Then we have the Knight of Swords in reverse: the blast from the past who does not forget a com mitment and, when he knocks on a door, does so with all his might. That, I’m assuming, is Grant.

But if you don’t get some resolution, one way or another, you might just keep longing for her. You might fall in love with a fantasy and miss out on a great relationship with someone IRL. (Possibly even with Annie.) Whatever happens, I hope you end up with someone who’ll always carry a torch for you. Best of luck, my dear.

Dear Oracle, I’m in the process of looking for a new full-time job. I have been struggling with the process and am trying to figure out what’s best for me at the moment. On one hand, I enjoy my current job and coworkers. On the other, I feel stuck and in need of a catalyst. Any advice?—Need a Change

Cards: The Sun (reversed), Page of Cups, The Hierophant, Ace of Cups

So here comes The Hierophant, the Major Arcana card of institutions. Originally, it meant “The Catholic Church,” but nowadays, it’s often academia. (Unless you’ve always wanted to become a man of the cloth, in which case, enjoy seminary.) This institutional path is going to help you in two ways. First, it will lead you to find what you love to do. We see this with the Ace of Cups being the last card. Then, it’s going to open that path toward The Sun. The Major Arcana often speak to each other because they’re the most important.

But the two Cup cards are also telling. Your job right now is “fine,” but it’s not what excites you because you don’t have an emotional con nection with it. As the Page of Cups, I think you’ll only get to that Sun if you genuinely love your work.

Cards: Knight of Cups, Eight of Cups (reversed), Knight of Swords (reversed)

Dear Romeo, oh, man. So many questions. Do you think Grant knew that you’ve been pining for a decade, planned on visiting, and purposefully crashed this trip? Or is this just some unbear ably bad cosmic timing? If it’s the former, Grant’s being gross and weirdly territorial. (They broke up years ago!) But if Grant has also been carrying the torch for Annie and decided that he had to confess this weekend or his heart would burst… well, at least it’d make for a great screenplay.

Then, in the middle, we have the Eight of Cups reversed. Eight of Cups can be a card of leaving what is known to strike out on a new path. If this is Annie, that’s good news for you. Maybe she wouldn’t want to date her ex again and be open to dating a Knight of Cups. Of course, the Eight of Cups can also mean feel ing adrift and disappointed with the options presented.

So. I can’t tell you how it’ll play out. But, honestly, if you’ve yearned for this girl for a decade, tell her. What’s the worst that can hap pen? She rejects you and marries Grant? If it happens, it happens.

Dear Change, have you ever thought about going to grad school? I know that probably wasn’t the answer you were expecting (or even consider ing) but hear me out. There is a want that’s driving you, a feeling of finding your calling and having everything just *click * into place. That’s The Sun reversed at the top of this spread. You know that you could be much happier with your career/life, but the path toward that option has yet to arrive. Then we have you as the Page of Cups, a cre ative visionary who is just starting to explore all the mysteries of the world. There are probably a lot of things that interest you, from the creative to the philosophical to the practical, but there are a few things that you truly love. Right now, you need help figuring out how to take that love and turn it into a career.

I’ve written before about how fucked up higher ed can be and how predatory student loans are, so I know “going to grad school” is not an easy or quick suggestion. But do some soul-searching and a ton of research and see if you can find a few programs that engage your heart and mind and have funding. Who knows? It might be something completely different from your current job and be something creative or something interdisciplinary that works with a variety of your interests. Whatever it is, I hope it’s the catalyst you need to start that path to The Sun.

Best of luck!

Send your questions for the Oracle to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram

The watcher

By Dan Savage

I’m a married gay man in Southern California. I also have a boy who has his own partner. Both my boy and his partner used to live nearby. But in August they moved to Seattle. The “why” of their move continues to bother me. They didn’t move for a job, or to be closer to family, or any of the other reasons people normally relocate. My boy said it was a combi nation of the weather and people. The problem, as I see it, is that both my boy and his partner have introverted tendencies—they don’t go out much—so I don’t see how the weather or people really make a difference.

The bigger issue is that my boy has tried to “pimp” his partner on me throughout our relation ship. I usually rebuffed his suggestions, but one night I gave in. His partner and I started to kiss and feel each other up, and it was fine. The weird thing—the thing that troubles me to this day—was how my boy reacted. He watched us with this bizarre look in his eyes, like he was really getting off on watching the two of us go at it, like some creepy voyeur. His expres sion freaked me out so much that I ended things and gave some dumb excuse. I recently had an encounter with another person who had a simi lar experience with my boy. He described how he would cam with my boy and how my boy would always bring his partner in.

As for the people here in Seattle… even the most extroverted newcomers complain about the “Seattle Freeze.” But if your boy and his partner are just looking for fuckbuddies, well, they’re in luck. The dick up here is damp nine months a year and tastes like smoke the other three, but there’s plenty to go around.

part. And I suspect if he had sat there looking bored or indifferent, you would’ve found that just as weird and off-putting. If I was fucking some guy’s boyfriend in front of him, CALDAD, I would hope that guy got off on it. Hell, I would call it off if the guy whose boyfriend I was fucking didn’t react like some creepy voyeur.

SAVAGE LOVE

As for the host of other issues you raise… Look, I’m not your boy, CALDAD, so I can’t tell you exactly what’s going on in his head. But I do feel confident saying he’s not your boy anymore. Not only did he move away (with his partner) and leave you all alone in Southern California (with your husband), CALDAD, but you seem to hold him in contempt—con tempt for his motives, his kinks, and his partner— and contempt is a hard place to come back from. So, since you aren’t in a relationship with him anymore, you don’t have to worry about making this relationship work. (I’m sorry if that seems harsh, CALDAD, but better to hear that from me than from the commenters.)

Frankly, CALDAD, I don’t think your ex-boy did a terrible thing. He was honestly into you, that’s why he was your boy, and he wanted to share his partner with you. If you didn’t want to fuck his partner, you should’ve continued to say no. Once you started to fuck his partner, you should’ve wanted (and expected) your exboy to enjoy the show.

P.S. On the off chance that CALDAD’s ex-boy is reading this: Welcome to Seattle! Cuckold or pimp, both or neither, you need to be clearer with your sex partners (in person, online, wherever) about what you’re doing, what you want them to do, and why you want them to do it. There are plenty of guys out there into threesomes, cuckolding, and guys who are pimping out their partners, so there’s no need to be a manipulativeby-default creep, which is how you risk coming across when you aren’t clear about what you’re doing (sharing your partner) and why (you’re a cuck or your partner has no game or both).

are attracted to women, you can keep on identify ing as straight if that’s what feels right. Or you can identify as queer.” Queerness, as I understand it, is an expansive term that refers to anyone whose sexuality or gender expression falls out side of conventional expectations. To me it seems appropriate for these straight men to embrace the term “queer.”—Mulling Over Labels

While you might think it’s appropriate for straight men who sleep with trans women to iden tify as queer, MOL, lots of trans women disagree.

“It’s deeply problematic when people hear that a famous man is with a trans woman and they automatically think that he’s gay, because that is disavowing the womanhood of trans women,” Laverne Cox said during a conversation with Angelica Ross about the struggles of dat ing as a trans woman. “You can be into a trans woman and be completely straight.” (Cox and Ross spoke on an episode of Cox’s talk show If We’re Being Honest.)

My boy had expressed to me on multiple occasions how his partner cannot find sexual partners on his own. I think the real reason my boy moved was to find a new dating pool in the hopes of eventually finding a match for his partner. If my thoughts are correct, then my boy did a horrible thing to our relationship. I don’t know much about cuckolds and I’m looking for advice. How do you have a relationship with a boy when that boy’s sole focus is the sexual sat isfaction of their partner?—Confused About Lad’s Departure And Deceit

Moving to Seattle for the “weather” seems a little counterintuitive. But I can see why a pair of introverts might prefer gray Seattle, where I live, to sunny Southern California. When it’s nice outside, you feel obligated to go outside. But it’s never nice outside in Seattle. We have a rainy season that stretches from November through July (too wet to go outside) and now, thanks to catastrophic climate change, we have a wildfire season that stretches from August through October (too smoky to go out side). So, looking out a window in Seattle you never think, “I should go for a walk and risk a chance encounter with another human being,” but rather, “I should go back in the basement and keep playing video games.”

So, is your ex-boy a cuckold? He could be. Based on your description of his behavior the night you hooked up with his partner, it certainly sounds like he gets off on watch ing his partner get fucked by other guys. It’s also possible that he shares the dick he’s getting elsewhere with his pri mary partner. There’s nothing wrong with being a cuckold, of course, and there’s nothing wrong with “pimping” a partner out… so long as 1. your partner wants to be pimped out and 2. you’re not pressuring other guys to do things with your partner that they don’t wanna do.

But if your ex-boy was only interested in you for his partner, CALDAD, he was certainly playing the long game. Establishing an ongoing D/s relationship with a married man when all you really want is someone to fuck your partner in front of you… that seems like an awful lot of effort when Grindr is full of men who would be up for fucking your ex-boy’s boyfriend while he watched without him having to go through the trouble of entering into a long-term relationship first. Setting you up with his partner may have been an interest, but I don’t think it’s fair to say it was your ex-boy’s sole interest.

And honestly, CALDAD, I find myself wonder ing what you expected from your ex-boy when you started to fuck his partner in front of him. Did you think he was going to sit there impassively, with a look of total indifference on his face, not feeling anything in particular? If so, CALDAD, that wasn’t a very realistic expectation on your

I read your column a lot and there’s a pat tern I’ve been noticing. A straight guy writes in and says he’s straight and likes pussy, but he’s recently discovered that he’s also attracted to trans women. And then they ask something like, “How should I describe my sexual orienta tion now?” To which you reply with something like, “You are straight. Trans women are women, they just happen to have dicks.” Great answer! I don’t disagree, but if I were responding I’d write, “You’re not gay, because trans women aren’t men. Trans women are women with dicks. Since you

So, any straight man who thought of himself as queer because he was into and/or fucking and/ or with a trans woman would be guilty of dis avowing the womanhood of his own partner. And any gay sex-advice columnist who urged straight men who were into/fucking/with trans women to think of themselves as queer would be pretty quickly terfed out of the advice racket. But it does seem to me that a straight man who openly dates trans women, while no less straight than any other straight man, is definitely something more than most straight men—more confident, more secure in his own sexu ality, more likely to be a good partner to any woman he winds up with, cis or trans.

Now, some cis men who date trans women aren’t straight; some cis men are bisexual or pansexual or omnisexual, as Cox pointed out on her show. And there are trans women out there who are queer and straight. Which is where it really gets complicated. A straight cis guy dat ing a trans woman is definitely in a relationship with a queer person; he’s arguably in a queer relationship himself. But being in a queer rela tionship—being the cis straight boyfriend of a trans woman or the cis straight wife of a bi guy or the allosexual partner of an asexual—doesn’t make a cis straight person queer themselves.

But you know what? The fucking world is on fire and if a cis straight guy who’s with a trans woman wants to identify as queer—if he wants to round himself up to queer—and the woman he’s with is OK with him embracing the term “queer” for himself, he can call himself queer.

P.S. Not all trans women have dicks.

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