DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Swept under the carpet

You emerge from the shower, towel wrapped around your waist, your taut, tanned body fit and ready for anything. The thing that attracted me to you most from the beginning was how comfortable you are in your own skin. Here’s that confidence on full display. My heart pounds when your shining blue eyes land on me. I hold my breath when your powerful arms sweep me into an embrace.

“Hello honey. Isn’t it a beautiful day? How about you get that gorgeous body of yours into your bikini and we go to the beach? I’ll go and tell the kids to get themselves ready.”

You stride out of our bedroom, calling cheerily to the children about the beach. I sit down on the crumpled, sweaty sheets, felled to silence and inaction. I run my tongue over my swollen lip. The metallic taste confirms my lip has been bleeding, cut last night – by your fist.

I replay the sequence of last night’s events, beginning with hearing your car arrive home late last night. You were two hours later than you should have been so I’d already guessed where you went after your game. My body knew too, a prey animal on the alert.

I maintained my pretence of watching TV as you entered the room. I merely glanced your way, nonchalantly replied to your greeting. You feigned normality too, swept the lateness of the hour under the carpet: “What are you watching?”

I noticed the way the words came out of your mouth, stretched like chewing gum – the drunken drawl. I saw the telltale red lines in your eyes, those eyes that had at first seemed to me honest and kind.

Bile rose to my throat when you asked why the children were already in bed. However I heeded my earlier sermon to myself, advising not to challenge you tonight. “Because it’s late,” I managed in a calm voice. Inwardly I cursed my cowardice.

Then you asked why I wasn’t talking to you! Did you want an argument? Should I have mentioned the pile of unopened window envelopes? Would you have liked to know I’d had a phone call from your son’s teacher yesterday? He’s in trouble again for bullying. I didn’t dare mention yesterday’s anonymous phone call with silence at the other end when I said hello. What could I discuss with this version of you?

That’s when I lost my self-control, broke my silence. “I can see where you’ve been. Not able to limit yourself to one drink at the 19th hole, eh?” Inwardly I kicked myself. You silly woman – you know it’s provocative.

It’s happened before. Your temper is easily ignited by my questions or by my silence, by my tardiness or my punctuality. It could be inflamed by the children’s noise or their withdrawal, their mess or their absence.

I’ve seen horses and birds pommel buckets and cartons, tossing them and rolling them repeatedly. They’re convinced some crumbs of food will fall out. What were you expecting to fall from me last night when you shoved me and slapped me? What conviction motivated your behaviour? Do you believe you can shake something out of me?

Like previous times, this morning I’m in awe of the recovery and the transformation that’s taken place while you slept. You must know as well as I do what was said last night wasn’t exactly encouraging or affirmative. Those words can’t be unsaid.

Does sleep work on you like a Catholic confessional and priest? You seem to believe all sins are washed clean – today is a new day. Does nothing resonate with you, even if I’m quietly busy, keeping my distance, nor when you see the children’s downcast eyes? This morning, again, you’ve chosen to leave all our mess under the carpet. Like magic the you of last night is gone.

I don’t know how long I’ve been ruminating when the calls of the children drag me from my reverie. You have managed to jolly them into your manufactured enthusiasm for fatherhood. I haul myself up, inspect and cover my bruises. A reluctant willing hostage, I put on my bikini.

©️ Anne Winning

Say “no” to domestic violence

International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women is 25 November and is the first of 16 days of activism ending on World Human Rights Day on 10 December.

Its origin goes back to the death of three sisters – Patria, Minerva and Maria Teresa Mirabal –who were murdered on 25 November 1960 in the Dominican Republic for opposing the government’s systematic violence. Twenty years later, 25 November was declared International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women in Latin America and formally adopted as a global day by the United Nations in 1999.

In recent years the #Me Too and #Times Up movements have raised the profile on the global stage. In Australia in 2013 an article in The Conversation by Linda Murray and Lesley Pruitt provided some Australia-specific data. They found that violence was the leading cause of death, illness and disability for Australian women aged 15 to 44. It was responsible for more illness and premature death than any other preventable cause including hypertension, obesity and smoking.

Much of the focus now is on domestic violence. So far in 2023, 58 women in Australia have died at the hands of intimate partners. “The vast majority of Australians recognise that domestic violence is a national issue but a significant portion of them don’t think it’s happening in their own suburb or town,” said Monash Gender and Family Violence Prevention Centre Professor Kate Fitz-Gibbon.

Various events will mark the day across our region including the Zonta Club’s walk along Gympie Tce in Noosaville on 26 November to say “no” to domestic violence. If you or someone you know needs help due to sexual assault or family and domestic violence contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.

Rhonda Piggott

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