Tim’s story “I travelled to Brighton with a Da and came back with a new Ma.”
mother and he would be changing his name from Stephen
Tim is the pastor of a thriving community
but his immediate response was that he had to journey with
church. In 2012, his Dad asked to have a
his Dad – that he had to stick with him.
to Stephanie (changed for anonymity). His Dad explained the process of living as a woman, taking cross-sex hormones, and that after 6-12 months he would pursue gender reassignment surgery. Tim had no sense this was coming and was shocked,
conversation with him. It was clear it was serious; his Dad had been struggling with
Tim discovered that his Mum had known for 34 years that
health issues which Tim understood to be
his Dad had been cross-dressing. They had been supported
stress related. He thought his Dad was going
by social and medical services for 19 years for mental health
to tell him he was terminally ill.
issues and trying, in their words, to find a cure. As Tim processed everything he felt angry – that the family had
As they sat across the kitchen table, his Dad
been let down, not only by their Dad, but also by the support
looked Tim in the eye and said that all his life
services who had never engaged with those who would be
he had felt like a woman trapped in a man’s
massively impacted by the decision.
body. He would no longer be living with Tim’s
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