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CHAPTER TWO
THE HOLY SPIRIT IS MY Helper: HE HELPS ME Walk WITH CHRIST
On the night of the Last Supper, Jesus was with His disciples, His dearest friends on earth. In the familiar comfort of shared camaraderie, they gathered to enjoy the Passover meal. Bound together by this Jewish tradition and by their loyalty to their Master, the disciples listened once again as He taught them. Though the 12 were totally unaware, Jesus knew these would be His last
moments alone with them, so His final instructions were intensely and intentionally focused.
Tenderly woven throughout those hours, from Judas’s departure to Jesus’ entrance into the Garden of Gethsemane, are beautiful words of comfort and hope, of deep love and concern for His soon-to-bedevastated friends. He knew paralyzing fear and bewilderment would be theirs by morning. By Passover’s dusk, deep grief and lost hope would banish sleep as their minds replayed the nightmare of the Crucifixion.
JESUS KNEW THAT WE, TOO, WOULD FACE DAYS OR SEASONS OF FEAR, GREAT LOSS, AND CONFUSION WHEN WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT OUR NEXT STEP SHOULD BE. The eternal words of comfort He spoke to the disciples are just as true for you and me, His disciples, today.
JESUS TOLD THEM NOT TO BE TROUBLED BECAUSE HE WOULD SEND THE HOLY SPIRIT:
(JOHN 14:15-18). 12
When Jesus introduced the Spirit to His disciples He used the name “Helper.” Just as we have a name most people know us by, so the Holy Spirit is often called Helper. In Greek, the word is paraclete, which means comforter, advocate, or counselor. It’s a name with layers of meaning. Jesus wanted His disciples, and us, to hear His heart of love:
I will not abandon you. I will not leave you alone and without help.
I often reassured my little ones, “Mommy will be back. I promise. I will not abandon you.” So Jesus does the same with us. THE HELPER WILL BE WITH YOU FOREVER.
THE HELPER HAS History
These were not new concepts for the men and women who followed Jesus. Even nominal Jews, Gentiles, and other nationalities knew the stories of Israel’s famous King David, who was helped by God. David, the author of most of the Psalms, cried out to God, “O Lord, be my helper!” (Psalm 30:10). He also reminded himself and his people, “God is my helper; The Lord is the upholder of my life” (Psalm 54:4) and, “The Lord is on my side as my helper” (Psalm 118:7).
Sprinkled from Genesis to Revelation are a plethora of descriptions of the help the Lord provides for His people. And He provides that help within us through the invisible, hidden, yet very real work of His Spirit.
• He helps by giving us strength to withstand temptation. 1
Corinthians 10:13 • He helps by giving us courage when we are afraid. 2 Timothy 1:7 • He helps by giving us strength when we are weak and in need.
Psalm 28:7-8 • He helps by interceding for us in prayer. Romans 8:26 • He helps by giving us the power to live the Christian life. Acts 1:8 • He helps us by giving peace in times of turmoil. Psalm 4:8
IN SHORT, THE SPIRIT HELPS US WALK WITH CHRIST AND MAKE US MORE LIKE HIM, WHICH THEREFORE HELPS US WITH EVERY DETAIL AND RELATIONSHIP IN LIFE.
I enjoy a relationship with the Spirit in my life as I talk to Him every day, multiple times from dawn to night. One circumstance common to many women that I’ve experienced for decades is sleepless nights. When I sleep terribly at night and have many things to do the next day, I ask Him for strength. Psalm 28:7 says, “The LORD is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped.”
I don’t feel instant supernatural physical strength, but He gives me enough to do what is before me. Importantly, His strength isn’t just
physical; He also supplies His strength to help me choose what is pleasing to Him on days when I’d rather do what feels best for
my tired body. He knows all truth about what my mind and body are experiencing, and I choose to trust Him that He is sufficient.
And when I don’t feel suddenly stronger or more alert, which is usually the case, I still trust Him that He is strengthening me in ways I can’t see or feel. It’s how I walk by faith with my Savior.
I also ask Him to help me focus when I’m distracted because He knows the truth of my heart and my circumstances.
When my life seems chaotic, the Spirit gives me patience when I ask and He helps me trust that He is in control.
When I don’t know what my husband or child is really saying, I ask Him to give me understanding because He knows the truth about their hearts.
When someone asks for advice, I try to send a quick prayer for His words to be mine when I reply. The Spirit knows what she is really asking.
SO WHY DON’T WE GO TO HIM MORE QUICKLY?
The God who made us knows we need lots of help. THE PROBLEM IS WE USUALLY DON’T GO TO HIM UNLESS WE ARE DESPERATE.
Why? Because too often we think we can help ourselves first.
When I was parenting full time, I eagerly read all the best books on discipline, birth order, how to raise boys and girls, growing creative kids, and more. When all this advice didn’t work as promised, I often asked friends, or my husband, who often didn’t have answers either.
Why didn’t I ask the Spirit for advice? Not that reading books and asking others for their view is wrong. It’s just that I often didn’t ask the Holy Spirit at all or not until I’d exhausted every other option.
HERE ARE SOME OF THE REASONS, LOOKING AT MY LIFE IN HINDSIGHT:
My impatience was part of my motive … I wanted answers now.
My fear factored in too … I was afraid He wouldn’t reply at all, and I didn’t want to experience disappointment in God.
I misunderstood how much God the Spirit loves me and longs to help me … I secretly believed He was too busy with more important crises in the world than to help me with my kids.
My pride was the ultimate reason I delayed asking Him … I should be able to handle this, I reasoned.
Do you live under the pressure of the “shoulds” too?
Moms are especially guilty of the shoulds. We think, “I should be able to figure this out.” … “I should be able to handle my kids.” … “I should be in a better place in my marriage by now.” … “This shouldn’t freak me out!” Believing we should be able to do something on our own is nothing but pride. It’s merely an attitude that says, “I don’t need God’s help for this. I can figure it out.”
MY GOD WAS TOO SMALL AND MY PRIDE WAS TOO BIG TO EVEN ADMIT I HAD PRIDE AT ALL!
Does that describe you as well? Do you go online to look for help in parenting or marriage, or read a book, before asking the Holy Spirit for help?
The Helper wants us to go to Him first. Ask Him for wisdom, ideas,
and guidance to the right information. Then read the books and talk to your girlfriends and ask Him to show you truth in those sources and discern what isn’t.
Thankfully, God does for all of His children what He did with me. He patiently waits for us to realize our need. He knows that we will eventually see that we can’t rescue ourselves, can’t manage it all, can’t be the perfect mom, wife, or friend, and can’t do all the “shoulds” we think we should!
RECOGNIZING I CAN’T IS WHAT THE SPIRIT, OUR HELPER, LONGS FOR AND MOST DELIGHTS IN.
Man’s help is often a one-size-fits-all, but God relates to us and helps us as individuals, each unique in His sight. God is intensely personal with us. He gives me what I need, which is different than what you may need.
In our culture, we often believe we are more advanced and much smarter than previous generations. But the truth is that our hearts
and our self-will … the flesh … remain equally depraved and utterly unchanged.
We are still like the children of Israel who ran to other countries for help when threatened by an enemy instead of going to God, their maker and defender. As the prophet Isaiah lamented, “Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who trust in chariots … but do not look to the Holy One of Israel or consult the Lord!” (Isaiah 31:1).
Jesus said it this way: “It is the Spirit who gives life; the
flesh is no help at all” (John 6:63). So why would we rely on ourselves or anyone else over the Holy Spirit, who has the answers and help for this life? What do you need help with?
THE Battles OF LIFE
Have you noticed how much of the Old Testament is about battles and wars? To me it used to seem so male-focused and not what I dealt with as a woman. But as a mom, many of my days felt like a battle. I had six children whose wills were often against mine. Our home was a battlefield daily with sibling rivalry and disobedience and conflict.
OH, HOW I NEEDED THE HELPER WITH MY FAMILY … AND STILL DO TODAY!
But the battle isn’t just with our children. Your marriage is always in the enemy’s crosshairs. Every marriage Satan can destroy creates a tsunami of destruction with children, in extended families, and in our communities. The father of lies has deceived more than one generation into believing divorce is okay because personal happiness is the highest goal in life. Every Christian is in a battle with the enemy of our souls.
OH, HOW WE NEED THE HELPER WITH OUR MARRIAGES!
Complicating both of these battle zones is the internal conflict we
women face every day with enemies common to us all: comparison, jealousy, fear, insecurity, feeling unloved or unappreciated or unseen, anger or frustration, feeling inadequate or irrelevant.
OH, HOW WE ALL NEED THE HELPER!
Our emotions and thinking can be fed by the whispered lies of our enemy. Or our minds and hearts can be fed by our Helper
who uses God’s Word to strengthen us, to shield us from enemy fire, to provide solutions to our many needs, to heal us, to remind us of His great love and His ever near
presence. He will be your victory!
Psalm 103:14 tells us, “For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” Because of
His great love, He is eager to be our help, every day in countless situations and circumstances if we will ask.
Invite Him into the mundane moments of your
days. Talk to Him about everything … even how to find something that’s lost, because He is all-knowing so He knows where it is. Be sure to thank Him for His every provision and His “always with you” presence. As Philippians 4:6 says, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
The Holy Spirit is the greatest gift to believers! We cannot live the Christian life as God intends on our own strength. Sure, we can
pretend, create a nice exterior, and even deceive ourselves that
we’ve got it under control. But the next disagreement with our husband or angry outburst at our kids reminds us of the truth of this old hymn: “I need Thee, Oh I need Thee. Every hour I
need Thee.”
When I make these mistakes, which I do daily, I acknowledge them and give thanks to God for my salvation in Jesus. As 1 John 1:9 tells us, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” And then I ask the Helper to help me refuse sin and trust Him. He never tires of hearing prayers like these.
AND THOUGH I AM STILL PRONE TO FEELINGS OF FAILURE AND DISCOURAGEMENT BECAUSE OF MY INADEQUACY, I AM LEARNING TO BE QUICK TO REMEMBER, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus … the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free … to set the mind on the Spirit
is life and peace” (ROMANS 8:1-2, 6).
Reflection
1. Do you ever talk to yourself thinking, “You should be able to do this! Get it together.” Are you willing to ask the Spirit to help you even with those things you have always thought you should be able to do?
2. What is the biggest battleground in your life right now? Your children? Your relationship with your husband? Your extended family, or your co-worker?
Will you ask your Helper Friend to give you what you need that you cannot produce on your own?
3. What struggle do you face most often with yourself? Comparison? Discouragement? Fatigue?
Do you believe He might have what you need to be less burdened and set free? Are you willing to risk asking Him? Believe He loves you and wants to help, but remember that often it takes time for us to see what He wants us to see from His perspective.
Be patient with yourself and with the Spirit and His timing.
4. From the list in this chapter of all the many ways the Spirit helps us, chose two or three and begin to talk to Him about how He can help you in these ways. And ask Him to do just that. Remember, we are God’s children and as our perfect Parent He longs for us to come to Him and ask for His help.
