EXCEPTIONAL ADVICE FROM MESHELL I’M A SINGLE PARENT—AM I READY TO DATE AGAIN?

EXCEPTIONAL ADVICE FROM MESHELL

I’m a Single Parent

—Am I Ready to Date Again?

By Meshell Baylor, MHS

“When you’re a single parent, don’t be afraid to get out there and date, and have a little bit of fun. We may be single parents, but we’re still human.”—Unknown

SINGLE PARENTS WEAR SO MANY HATS. THEY ARE CARETAKERS, ESSENTIAL WORKERS IN THE BUSINESS WORLD, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, ADVOCATES FOR THEIR SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN. MANY SINGLE PARENTS ARE SO BUSY BALANCING THEIR WORK AND FAMILY LIFE THEY BARELY HAVE TIME FOR A SOCIAL LIFE. IT IS IMPORTANT FOR SINGLE PARENTS TO COMPREHEND THAT DATING CAN BE PART OF SELFCARE. HAVING A SOCIAL LIFE OUTSIDE OF BEING A PARENT IS NOT A CRIME. IN FACT, ACCORDING TO THE CDC (CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION) STATISTICS, 64% OF PEOPLE PRACTICE THE SELF-CARE OF SOCIALIZING. DATING IS A FORM OF COMMUNICATION AND SOCIALIZING.

Some parents may be single by choice, others because of a divorce or a separation. Some may feel it’s been quite a while since they have jumped back into the dating pool, and the fear of getting back into the dating game can be nerve-wracking. After being married for years and now a divorcee, I knew I needed to brush up on my dating skills. The last time I dated, two-way pagers and writing your number on a sheet of paper was how you asked. Dating has changed in the 21st century; dating apps are the new wave of the future. Apps such as eHarmony, Elite Singles, and Match are a new norm for meeting potential partners. However, there is still hope for love and friendship if online dating is not your cup of tea. There are so many fantastic events, activities, and places to meet someone.

Dating is a key part of socializing and communicating to build friendships, connections, and possibly love. Although returning from a sabbatical may be scary, internally, you will know in your heart when you’re ready. Jumping back into the game may sound fun, but we must look closely at some important things that can help you build your dating confidence.

Know what you’re looking for

Dating is not something that we as single parents should rush into doing. Do not be afraid to take your time. Jot down the little things that you are looking for, whether it’s the occasional conversations or an actual meet and greet at a paint and sip or group activity. Slowly define what you want and what you’re looking for in a partner, friendship, or future spouse. Make sure to maintain your privacy. Slowly learn who you are and what you like before you take the next step into dating.

Is online dating for you?

If you are willing to try online dating, do your homework. Research the right website, define if the website shares the values you’re looking for in a future friend, and take a flattering picture of yourself if you wish to post it on your profile, but always be respectful to yourself and keep some decorum.

Places to go

If online dating is not your cup of joe, then get out in the open. Looking for that special someone is not that hard, even if you are not tech-savvy and feel that online dating is not for you. Look for exciting places to meet new people. EventBrite.com is a new site with lots of event activities to mingle and meet new people, from Mardi Gras celebrations to new year’s parties. There are so many wonderful places to meet new people, such as jazz festivals or tasteful venues that have a single night. Check your local listings for great events to meet new people.

Make it a group thing

If you still have jitters about online dating, going out into the community alone, have a group hang-out day. Your friends and loved ones want you to have a social life. It’s okay if you want to attend a dinner date with a group of friends or loved ones. It has been a while, and you may be nervous. Invite your friends to join you and your date for a movie, and when you feel comfortable, you can branch off.

So, as we get ready for 2022 and brush up on our dating techniques, keep in mind that you are important and deserve to have a little fun in your life. If you are ready to date, you will feel it in your heart. Make time to get to know new individuals and share some positive memories. Get dressed up and paint the town, and when the ball drops, you will hopefully have someone smiling back at you as you enter the next new year.

Meshell Baylor, MHS is a mother of four children—two of whom are on the spectrum. She serves her community as a social worker and community advocate within the Los Angeles area. She has a bachelor’s degree in Human Services from Springfield College and a Master of Science in Human and Social Services. Meshell continues to volunteer and give within her community while serving the special needs community.

Website: http://meshellbaylor.wixsite.com/website Instagram: https://instagram.com/imalittlebigb?utm_ medium=copy_link

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