HOW TO PREPARE A CHILD WITH EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS FOR A HOSPITAL STAY

By Bea Moise, MS, BCCS

IN A PERFECT WORLD, SICKNESS WOULD NOT EXIST; IN AN ALMOST IDEAL WORLD, ILLNESS WOULD HAPPEN TO INDIVIDUALS WHO CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THEM AND APPROPRIATELY ASK FOR HELP. HOWEVER, NEITHER OF THE TWO EXIST, AND CHILDREN WITH NEURODIVERSE BRAINS GET SICK, AND SOMETIMES THOSE SICKNESSES LAND THEM IN THE HOSPITAL FOR ONE NIGHT OR LONGER.

As a mother of a child with autism, I have conversations with myself about how autism is enough, and nothing else should occur along with that. But the reality is sometimes dual diagnoses exist. Individuals with neurodiverse brains are sometimes diagnosed with co-morbidity, which means two things are happening together at the same time that are not identical. I have had the privilege of being able to help families with these co-occurring conditions. At times these issues are mental health and medical. With a child with limited ability to understand medical health concerns, how can you explain what is happening?

PRACTICE AHEAD OF TIME Practice what you want to say to your child. Think about the message you are planning to convey and what emotional state you want to leave your child. The main reason for practicing is to prepare you. As the parent, you have to know about the personal bias that you harbor that your child will experience.

For example, when my son was younger, we had to take him to get an MRI. When the pediatrician explained the process of an MRI for a toddler, I started to experience a panic attack. As she described how the procedure would go, my body began to tense up, and I felt the physical responses of having severe anxiety about an upcoming event. I knew at that point I was not going to be the parent to take him. I knew my energy would be off, and I would probably set his anxiety off as well. I tried practicing staying calm, but I could not be successful; therefore, we agreed my husband would take him. Knowing how you are going to respond is as important as the actual information you will present. If you practice ahead of time and discover you will not remain calm effectively, it is best to outsource this conversation.

SEE THE CHILD, NOT THE ISSUE When it comes to talking to children, you have to see them and see past the issue. Depending on the child you have, their level of comprehension will vary from child to child. A mistake parents make is they undermine how much a child can understand. Do not underestimate what your child can understand. On average, children are constantly learning and adapting, and you will be surprised at what they can pick up from the environment by simply observing it.

I had a client with a child who had severe ADHD. This child would constantly move, and anytime the client wanted to say something to their child, they would ask them to stop pacing back and forth and listen because they felt like the child was not listening. The problem was the child was using all of their energy to be still and attend but had nothing left actually to listen and take in the information. I told them to allow this child to keep pacing. While the pacing was a distraction to the parents, it allowed the child to focus, significantly improving their communication. Unfortunately, the parents were too focused on the issue and did not see the child. Do not allow yourself not to see what your child can understand because you are too concentrated on the issue.

DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE LANGUAGE Engage in a way the child will understand. Each individual has different levels of understanding; even when they have a developmental delay, each child is unique with how much they know and how much of spoken language they can process. Consider using the language that your child understands and use communications tools such as storybooks, picture cards, television shows, music, movement, etc. to help get your point across.

ROAD/FIELD TRIP If at all possible, it will be of tremendous help if you can have a faux experience before the actual procedure. Taking the child to the environment and walking the process before the actual procedure help the child label what will happen.

Beatrice (Bea) Moise, MS, BCCS, is a board-certified cognitive specialist, parenting coach, writer, and national speaker. She is the founder of A Child Like Mine, LLC, a company created for educating parents of children with unique behavioral and learning needs while giving them the tools they need to be successful at home. She is a respected and trusted parenting coach and consultant in Charlotte, NC, and surrounding areas. Her passion is helping parents of children with autism, ADHD, and other behavioral challenges. Bea is frequently featured on WCNC Charlotte Parenting Today, and has been featured on People of Charlotte, Peace & Parenting, Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting, and Ballantyne Magazine, providing tips for parents. Bea has written for PBS-Kids, AAPC-Publishing, PsychCentral, Charlotte Parent Magazine, Autism Parenting Magazine, Carolina Parent, and Scoop Charlotte. Bea has a Bachelor of Science in Psychology; also, she holds a Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling with a specialty of Applied Behavior Analysis. Bea and her husband have two children—Jacob, who is awesomely autistic, and Abby, who is simply marvelous!

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