Exemplify Magazine September Issue

exemplify magazine September 2010

The 4 Requirements of Spiritual Endurance Three Necessities for Your Empty Nest’s Revolving Door How To Stop Playing The Comparison Game

“He is the Rock , his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.”

Deuteronomy 32:4 New International Version

2 © exemplify magazine

Welcome to Exemplify Magazine.

It is so good to see you after our summer sabbatical! We’re back into the swing of things here at Exemplify Magazine and I’m overjoyed to offer this issue to you.

This team I’m blessed to work with has outdone themselves this month with articles ranging from spiritual endurance to holy friendship.

I pray as you read these pages you are reminded of the greatness of the God you love - and how He has equipped you with a unique gifting to serve Him. Just like the ladies on this team.

Your voice matters and brings Him glory. Join the song.

In King Jesus,

Kristen Schiffman

www.inspiredheartsmedia.com

3 © exemplify magazine

Meet the Magazine Team Kristen Schiffman Founder & Ministry Director A New Yorker living in Texas, Kristen is just trying to make sense of sweet tea and A/C units. Together with her best friend & husband, Eric, she enjoys sketching out new ideas over Starbuck’s.

Kristen’s passion is equipping those in leadership to serve with excellence, encouraging women to get to know God through His Word and challenging women to live out their Godgiven purpose.

Andrea Mitchell Editor-in-Chief/Director of Web Content/Family Columnist Andrea Mitchell is a coffee drinking, Jesus-loving wife and stay-at-home mom of three in constant search of just the right mug for her brew. You can find her at her blog, UnderGraceOverCoffee.com where she shares the love she has found in Jesus, along with the caffeine-laden randomness that makes up the majority of her day. Grab your cup and come on over!

Christy McGraw Director of Social Networking/Single Channel Editor/Columnist Christy is on a journey to becoming a woman after God’s own heart. She delights in books, photography, her family and her friends. Christy has a heart for young women and single women. She also loves emails! thesinglejourney@gmail.com

Christine Johnston Director of Communications/Titus 2 Columnist Christine is a self professed “knitster” who loves watching a scarf come to life. She is the mother of four children, three of whom are full grown and one still making her way through high school.

She is married to her high school sweetheart and loves going on lunch dates with him during the week. Christine’s steady and sure faith in Christ, her value of justice and her compassion for that which Christ has compassion on daily shape her Titus 2 calling.

Tara Guy Director of Ministry Support/ Fiction & Apologetics Column/ Web Editor Tara Guy is a born-and-bred Southern girl who loves sweet tea, Jesus, and football - and not necessarily in that order. Visit her at Musings of a Future Pastor’s Wife, where she blogs about her day-to-day life as the wife of a seminary student/youth pastor and mom to a precious toddler girl, and the daily truths the Lord teaches her.

the team

Joanne Sher Magazine Editor Joanne Sher is a mother of two, wife of one, and, most importantly, daughter of the King. She was raised in the Jewish faith, coming to a saving knowledge of Jesus in her early 30’s. Her passion is for writing and encouraging, and editing actually helps her relax. She is in various stages of progress on two novel-length manuscripts: one about God’s provision during her husband’s serious health issues, and another Biblical fiction set during the time of 1 and 2 Samuel. She also loves to share her insights at her blog, www.joannesher.com, where she shares the “Open Book” of her life following Christ.

Karen Lowe Feature Editor A native of Kentucky, Karen is a country girl at heart. She currently resides in northwestern Illinois where she divides her time between being a wife, homemaker, homeschooler, mother, writer, and Bible study teacher. She loves a good cup of coffee and very rarely turns down chocolate. Karen has a passion to write Bible studies and teach women God’s Word. She began Truth and Grace Ministries to encourage women to grow in God’s truth and grace. You can find her writing at her blog, Living Life, where she shares God’s Word, devotionals, and various other posts about life as she strives to live in God’s truth and grace.

Judith Roberts Interview Columnist Judith Roberts has been married to her college sweetheart for four years, and both she and her husband are active in their church. She is a college instructor pursuing her doctorate and hopes to mirror Jesus in her everyday life.

Kara Cox Devotional Columnist Kara is a single, thirtysomething follower of Christ who loves to laugh and makes others laugh in the process. She is devoted to all things Autumn and thinks that pumpkins, fallen leaves and fall TV premieres are a highlight of life. She would also like you to know she is the most extroverted introvert you will ever meet.

Wendy Miller How-To Columnist Wendy Miller is a butcher (of words as she edits her novels), a baker (of birthday cakes and treats for her beloved family members and friends), and a candlestick maker (not quite, but she enjoys crafts of all kinds). She appreciates the outdoors, writing and laughing with loved ones. Wendy’s mission statement is to a live a passionate life filled with compassion, grateful to be called daughter of the Most High God. Visit Wendy at http:// thoughtsthatmove.blogspot.com/ or http://wendypainemiller.wordpress.com/.

5 © exemplify magazine

the team

Christa Allan Writer’s Help Columnist Christa Allan lives in Abita Springs, Louisiana and teaches high school English. Walking on Broken Glass, Christa’s debut novel, released in February by Abingdon Press. She’s written for Chicken Soup for the Coffee Lover’s Soul, Chicken Soup for the Divorced Soul, The Ultimate Teacher, and Cup of Comfort for Parents of Children with Special Needs. A member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Christa is also a contributor to Afictionado, their online magazine. She is the mother of five and the proud Grammy of three. Christa and her husband Ken spend time with their three neurotic cats, play golf, and dodge hurricanes. She blogs at www.christaallan.com.

Alison Hunt Columnist Alison is a twenty-something single woman living in the now and hoping for the future. Based in North Florida, she an administrative assistant by day, and dreamer by night (literally). She can also be found reading under trees, Zumba-ing, spending time with family, and catching up with friends over coffee. Visit her blog at http://alisonlhunt.blogspot.com.

Brooke McGlothlin Columnist Lover of God and the man I’ve dreamed of since the 3rd grade...mommy of two little boys born just 23 months apart...CEO of the McGlothlin Home for Boys (my house)...passionate about life issues and finding Jesus in the everyday. Director of Clinical Services for a local Crisis Pregnancy Center with a BS in Psychology and MA in Counseling.

Deborah Boutwell Book Reviews Married for 23 years, 2 children (21 & 15 years of age), working outside the home in a Christian publishing house, serving in a small Southern Baptist church in various keys roles, hobbies include reading, writing, needle & thread handwork.

Iris Nelson Photographer Born and raised in Germany, Iris now resides with her husband Mark and Chihuahua Corky, in Arizona. Their grown son Daniel works as a software consultant in Arizona, living close by. Although the move from Germany to the US was not easy, God’s hand was evident. In Arizona, God called Iris back into His flock. Iris enjoys encouraging women by sharing His Word through the devotional team-blog ‘Laced with Grace’ (www.lacedwithgrace.com), which she ‘birthed’ with a friend from California in 2006.

Iris has always had a love for photography, but after her son Daniel moved out photography became more than just a hobby. Iris’ dreams are to self-publish a photography book with Bible passages; and becoming a full-time photographer—leaving corporate America behind. You can find more of Iris’ photography at www.inelsonportraits.com.

6 © exemplify magazine

Lori MacMath Moving Toward Holiness Columnist Having grown up in the church, Lori knows that her ‘true spiritual journey’ began with an experience with infertility and surrendering to the Lord, allowing HIM to break her and remake her.

The smile she wears tells that she is so happy to be on the journey that she is on now. A journey that includes homeschooling 3 wonderful children! Lori is the co~owner of Internet Cafe Devotions, an online daily devotional site for women. Praising HIM every step of the way, she encourages you to enjoy the journey with her at her personal website, All You Have to Give, where she can be found daily, enjoying each and every season to its fullest!

Holly Smith In The Kitchen Columnist My name is Holly Smith from Monument, CO. I am the wife of Chris and mother of Noah, Kylie, Tabor and Sydney. I am a stay at home mom, who very much loves her job as a mom. On the side, I design web pages and marketing pieces. It is a great way to pour out creativity! God has gifted me with a love of all things creative--from painting and wall-papering to scrapbooking and design-work. Also I write a couple of blogs, which you can read online if you want. One is a cooking blog called What Would Martha Cook? It’s about Martha in the Bible not the other Martha. The other is a devotional writing blog called Crown Laid Down. I began blogging in February 2007.

Chrystie Cole Closet Issues Columnist Chrystie lives with her husband and stepson in the beautiful upstate of South Carolina.

She is a woman who was once lost, broken, desperate and hopeless. Yet because of a gracious and loving God, she was given a brand new life. She has personally experienced the power of His transforming and redeeming love. As a result, she is passionate about sharing His love with others and ministering to broken and hurting people.

Tracy Knowlton Women in the Word Columnist Tracy Knowlton is a Texan by birth, curious by nature and crazy about her husband of three years. She reads scripture and loves on her dogs, simultaneously. Tracy looks for Jesus in the ordinary, adds in scripture and waits to see what happens. Loving the Lord is her privilege and writing about Him on her blog, JesusWomanWords.com, is her joy.

Consider yourself invited.

Jenifer Jernigan Faith Applied Columnist Jenifer makes her home in North Carolina with her husband of ten years, three children, and English black lab, Bella. On a typical day, if there is such a thing, you will find her sipping a cup of coffee, home schooling her children, and digging into the Word. A former pit-dweller who has been saved by God’s amazing grace, Jenifer has a burning passion to share with women of all ages His unconditional love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness.

Exemplify Reviews

Reviews by Deborah Boutwell

A Movie

A Letter To Dad (DVD) Starring Thom Mathews, Megan Gallivan, John Ashton Featuring Thousand

songs Foot

by

Jeremy Camp, Adie Krutch, & Decyfer

Camp, Down

Based on Proverb 22:6…how to train up a child…this story, while starting out with a romantic love story, quickly takes you into the life of a young man (Dan), hindered to progress further in a relationship by the anger he feels toward a father that walked out on him when he was a boy. Determined to set things straight, Dan writes his father a letter, telling him exactly how it messed up his life and relationships when divorce tore their family apart.

This isn’t a story for young children. It has a father that drinks, parents that yell and scream, and teenagers attempting suicide and struggling with abuse. It’s pretty much true to life…in fact, it’s based on a true story.

Being raised in a home that didn’t have to deal with any of those issues, this movie was very eye-opening for me of how devastating it is on the children’s lives not to have their father in the picture, especially if he is not a godly man. There’s a great possibility that the cycle will continue as the child grows. It was happening to Dan and he wanted it to stop.

He finds help through the local church and through God. The music in this movie was wonderful. I think that might have been my most favorite part. It was filmed very professionally (not like a lot of the old “Christian” movies, with little budgets but a great story). I think it is a story that many will relate to.

8 © exemplify magazine

The Generous Artist: Released:

A Song

Mr.

May

Lovewell MercyMe 2010

This is a CD with a story. Every song encourages the listener to reach out and show love to others by following the example of “The Generous Mr. Lovewell.” This CD and the promotion behind it is starting a revolution of people doing good deeds and leaving a card, that can be printed off from the website MercyMe has set up just for Mr. Lovewell. It is a fun CD with music that pops with (as I’ve heard others say) a bit of the Beatles and Bee Gees mixed in. There are also some of the traditional MercyMe ballads. I loved them all. I’ll be honest….it had me buying lunch for the person behind me in the drive-thru!

Seventeen years later, their stories continue. Maelle has traveled across the country learning her trade of photography and capturing images of children working in mines, on streets, and in the alleys. Everywhere she goes, she asks about Mollie and Mattie. She promises herself in the spring, she will head back to Missouri and search some more.

A Book My Heart Remembers, by Kim Vogel Sawyer “Would you still be havin’ your tie to home?”

Matt, running from a bad situation, needs work and it can only be found in Missouri, a place he doesn’t want to return to. He’s worried that his mobile lifestyle has made it difficult for his big sister to keep her promise of ever finding him. Thankfully both Maelle and Matt have discovered the One person who will never leave them.

Both of them have seen the horrors of child labor and determine to do what they can to help end it.

My Heart Remembers released in 2008 and received many awards, including the ACFW Book of the Year 2009. It is the tale of three orphans, “united by blood, divided by time,” as the back cover pronounces. Spanning the years of 1886 to 1903, Kim Vogel Sawyer weaves a tale of heartbreak, endurance, faith, and reunion with a sweet love story.

Molly is a different story. Raised with privilege, she never knew she was an orphan, until her parents die and her “brother” kicks her to the street. Now she must find a way to support herself and travels to Missouri with promise of a job.

New to America from Ireland, the Gallagher children lose their parents in a tenement fire and soon find themselves in an orphanage. Mollie (just a “wee baby”) is separated from Maelle and Mattie at the orphanage, but Maelle is allowed to see her every night. Being confused as a boy, Maelle is allowed to stay with little Mattie in the boys section of the orphanage and becomes known as Michael (one of the toughest “boys” in the home).

I loved the suspense Kim builds making the reader wonder when they will meet, knowing that things are in motion for that reunion. Just when you think their paths are going to cross…there’s a bend in the road and the opportunity passes. Maelle just about gives up hope: her memories have faded and she wonders if her younger brother and sister even remember at all.

This is the story of the orphan trains that took children from New York to Missouri and gave them to families looking for a child to love and sometimes, a child to work. Maelle (Mike) tries desperately to keep her family together and honor the last promise she made to her Da, “Take care o’ the wee ones,” but being only eight years old herself, she is unable to. One by one, they are each taken by separate families. Maelle gives a remembrance to each of them, “ties to home,” as they are taken away.

You got it….they are all headed to a reunion that none of them expect, yet each longs for.

“God knew you would need the education and the financial means to provide help to children who need it.”

Maelle had insisted. “He had a plan for you…Now see it through.”

Kim keeps you guessing until the very end how it will come about. I wanted more. I was really hoping that there were more pages when I closed the book with a smile and a tear on my face.

221mag.com

I like clothes.

I play sports.

I have fun with my friends.

I totally text.

I rock out with my iPod. I flip my camera.

I type faster than my Mom. More than anything, I love my Jesus.

I Exemplify.

I am Team 2:21.

Written by Christa Allan

if you’re commatose, here’s the cure

People generally approach grammar and liver the same way. Either they dive in with gusto or grow pale, start sweating, and look for the nearest exit.

Okay, perhaps not the most appealing way to start a column that will feature grammar issues, but food analogies seem to work for me.

(Food works for me, but that’s another story.)

Grammar is not what inspires us to write. To date, I’ve not heard one writer say, “My use of adverbial subordinate phrases is almost as riveting as my flair with pronouns in elliptical constructions.” If I did hear that remark, I would hope that s/he writes textbooks.

We write to create meaning, but grammar shapes meaning. I tell my students that they wouldn’t spend gobs of money on prom to arrive wearing their cummerbunds around their necks or their corsages pinned to their hems.

So why write a compelling story without attention to the details of grammar, mechanics, punctuation, and usage? Maybe you pay someone to edit your work. This isn’t going to replace any editor’s task, but if your editor isn’t plowing through fields of comma splices, maybe more time could be spent on style or voice or structure.

Commas. Very important. So important that writers expect to see them on their advance checks.

When they’re missing, watch what happens: A woman without her man is nothing Show it to a person of the opposite sex; the response may surprise you.

Commas can be pesky, but there are a few tricks that I can offer. St. Lawrence University Writing Center is one among a gazillion web sites offering punctuation advice. I just happen to like that they’re called TEN COMMA-ndments.

Trick #1: FAN BOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so When you use one of these two join two complete sentences, use a comma BEFORE the word. Note: two complete sentences.

My but

favorite dessert is I also enjoy

My but

favorite not

dessert vanilla.

ice cream, cheesecake.

is ice cream (no comma)

Trick #2: BUS WAITS: because, before, until, unless, since, when, where, while, after, as, if, then, though, since, so that Generally, subordinate (think: co-dependent) phrases or clauses follow these conjunctions at the beginning of a sentence: Because Fred owned the coffee shop, he could serve himself as many lattes as he wanted.

Now, watch what happens when we place the beginning of the sentence after the independent clause: Fred could serve himself as many lattes as he wanted because he owned the coffee shop. (no comma) How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

>>>

I hope these two tricks served as appetizers.

11 © exemplify magazine

Bedraggled?

Written by Chrystie Cole I love words. I really love words. Words make me excited. When my husband uses a big word in conversation I find it incredibly sexy.

When I learn a new word, I am giddy. When I find the perfect word to describe something, I am elated. And so when I thought of the word bedraggled, well, let”s just say I was simply beside myself. Bedraggled means broken-down, run down, or in a condition of deterioration. A couple of synonyms for bedraggled are tattered, haggard, or threadbare. Very descriptive words, aren’t they?

Have you ever felt haggard, or tattered, or threadbare, or bedraggled? Yep, me too! Life is difficult. Days are long. Troubles are many.

Tasks are infinite. Conflict is inevitable. On any given day we may wear the hat of wife, mother, employee, employer, sibling, friend, daughter, taxi driver, or volunteer. Some days we may wear every single hat, attempting to shift gears from one role to the other with the least amount of turbulence. And when our knees threaten to buckle underneath the weight of it all, we might find ourselves praying, “Come, Lord Jesus. Come.”

There are the obvious factors that contribute to our physical fatigue, things like work, taking care of family, being overcommitted, and lack of proper rest. But, what about those things that contribute to our spiritual fatigue?

What are some things that cause our spiritual well to run dry? Not taking time to rest quietly in His presence and not taking time to fill up through His Word, through fellowship with other believers, through times of worship, and through sitting under sound teaching are several ways we dry up spiritually. In this article, however, we are going to focus on two things that are sure to leave us haggard, tattered, threadbare, and bedraggled: our own sin and our own righteousness.

12 © exemplify magazine

Our Own Sin

Stiff-necked, stubborn, and rebellious – words used to describe the Israelites throughout the Old Testament. As much as we would like to think those words aren’t fitting to describe us, they are still just as applicable to us today as they were to the Israelites years ago.

We are sinners. So much so, that we sin against God in ways we may never know. Yet, there are times we willfully choose to sin; times when we know better and do it anyway; times when the Spirit has convicted us but we choose to remain in our sin. Wrestling with our own unrepentant sin quenches the Spirit in us.

David experienced and wrote of this in Psalm 32:35 NIV, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD’ and you forgave the guilt of my sin.”

Choosing, condoning, engaging in, denying, explaining, wrestling with our own guilt, and justifying our sin to others and ourselves requires more energy and effort on our part than it does to confess, turn from our sin, and submit to the authority of Christ in our lives. God, in His great grace and mercy, has forgiven us and will never forsake us, but He will allow us to experience the consequences of our own sinful choices.

Moses knew the Israelites’ propensity to choose sin. In Deuteronomy 30:19-20 ESV, after reminding them of the law the LORD had given them and preparing them to enter into the Promised Land, he told them, “I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the LORD your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days.” When we choose sin or when we choose to remain in sin after being convicted, we consciously choose death instead of life.

The Gospel Is The Answer

So what are you choosing – life or death? Do you have sin in your life that you are holding onto or are unwilling to turn from? Is there something God has convicted you of, yet you are still wrestling with it and not submitting to His will? Take time to go before Him in prayer and ask Him to soften your heart and give you a desire to be obedient to Him.

Our Own Righteousness

This one is hard to diagnose because it is often dressed up as good deeds or trying to live a life pleasing to God. There is nothing wrong with good deeds or wanting to please God when our heart is pure. But sometimes we do all the “right” things for all the wrong reasons. Seeking to earn our salvation; seeking to earn God’s favor or blessings; seeking to elevate ourselves in the eyes of others; and seeking to bring ourselves glory through “righteous” actions aren’t about living a life pleasing to God at all. They are all about making ourselves look good.

There is something deep within us that desires to know we had something to do with our own salvation, that we merited it in some way, that we were worthy of it. So we busy ourselves with all kinds of spiritual activity trying to justify ourselves before God, which instead of bringing us into communion with Christ leaves us empty, exhausted, and unfulfilled.

In Matthew 11:28-30 NIV, Jesus says, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. “ To be honest, for years I never quite understood what Jesus meant by “his yoke is easy and his burden is light.” I thought exactly the opposite. I thought it was about following the rules and trying to be a good person. All that striving for my own righteousness left me spiritually dried up.

13 © exemplify magazine

In his commentary on this passage, Matthew Henry says we have no need to fear His yoke because His commandments are holy, just, and good; His yoke is lined with love; and, “so powerful are the assistances He gives us, so suitable the encouragements, and so strong the consolations to be found in the way of duty, that we may truly say, it is a yoke of pleasantness. The way of duty is the way of rest.” When we take His yoke upon us, living in obedience to Him out of love and gratitude, He empowers, assists, and encourages us.

The good news of the gospel is that we are saved by grace through faith, not by our own works (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV). I love how Tim Keller puts it, “The biggest moral failure, the wickedest person, the weakest and most helpless person morally on the earth standing in God’s righteousness is more beautiful and ravishing to God than the greatest person standing in his own righteousness.” Does that not take the weight of the world off your shoulders and cause you to breathe a sigh of relief?!

So, are you striving for your own righteousness or resting in Christ’s? Is your pursuit of righteousness more about what others think about you rather than your love for God and gratitude for what He has done for you? Repent of your own righteousness; stand firm in the gospel of grace; preach the gospel to yourself when tempted to strive for your own righteousness; trust in what Christ has already accomplished for you and there you will find rest for your weary soul.

Whether we find our well is dry from sin or from relying on our own righteousness, we can take heart in these verses, “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40: 28-31 NIV) Now, that’s a promise we can rest in!

13

Written by Tracy J. Knowlton

The 4 Requirements of Spiritual Endurance

The sower sows the word.

(Mark 4:14, NRSV)

A parable holds the secret of the kingdom of God. These little stories, sometimes almost riddles, pack a huge spiritual punch.

They teach us about our light, our debts, our coins, sheep in general, and the sower’s seed. At least these are the polite titles they are given to differentiate one from another. Really, they teach us how to endure this spiritual life.

The Parable of the Sower is one such polite heading. I appreciate it more than some other parables, partially because I find it useful but more practically because Jesus decodes it for us. This decoding occurs because the disciples could no longer hide their misunderstanding. I appreciate these twelve. We have much in common.

Seeds fall on four terrains and the results ensue.

All the while, the sower spreads one crop, the Word.

He relies on the terrain to accept or reject the seed.

14 Š exemplify magazine

Seed One: And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and the birds came and ate it up (Mark 4:4, NRSV).

T r a n s l a t i o n : These are the ones on the path where the word is sown: when they hear, Satan immediately comes and takes away the word that is sown in them (Mark 4:15, NRSV).

Reading these verses, I think of Paul’s explanation of this common occurrence, “In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God (2 Corinthians 4:4, NRSV).

This makes me assess the value of the Word in my life. Just think what it would be like to have the word taken away, stolen; yet, throughout this parable, the word is the only possession that the enemy desires from us. It has tremendous power.

Perhaps it is because the Spirit mysteriously crafts a lifeline to the Word. Much like an umbilical cord, it offers the oxygen and nutrients of a spiritual life. My morning quiet times strengthen my spiritual skill set. I prepare for the unseen, and allow my sword to be sharpened for the foe. I need this exercise.

Without doubt, this foe is real. The inclusion of Seed One in this parable tells the reader this crucial fact. There is something out there wanting to steal this Word because of its power. This foe is active. He is mindful. He is immediate. We need to absorb these moments in scripture and hold them in our hearts, where the enemy is unwelcome.

We build an impenetrable heart from time in the Word.

Unfortunately, quiet times can sometimes feel like another task in our day. Because of this, it is crucial to remember what is happening when we read the Word.

We are being changed into the image of God. It is bigger than we can imagine and more purposeful. Trust this.

Seed one tells us that spiritual endurance requires a formidable heart, centered in the Word.

15 © exemplify magazine

Seed Two: Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and it sprang up quickly, since it had no depth of soil. And when the sun rose, it was scorched; and since it had no root, it withered away (Mark 4:5 & 6, NRSV).

T r a n s l a t i o n : And these are the ones sown on rocky ground: when they hear the word, they immediately receive it with joy. But they have no root, and endure only for a while; then, when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately they fall away (Mark 4:16 & 17, NRSV).

I remember when I made a public commitment to ministry in high school. I received this calling with joy. I felt so special that God would give me a specific calling. On the way home, I talked about the awesomeness of Jesus.

Clear as a bell, I remember my mother turning around and saying, “Tracy, we are not all on the mountain top.”

Indeed, within only a few years, neither was I. In fact, I walked away from the church altogether. Mountain top faith is a wonderful, emotional time but it has to grow the legs to walk back down to the valley. We are no good to God simply hanging out on the mountain, when those who need Him reside below.

Without those legs, I found myself rolling back down to the valley, helpless and immobile. I stayed there too long. One of my greatest weaknesses was my lack of knowledge. I did not have anything resembling personal study of God’s Word.

This leaves the believer malnourished and feeble.

Throughout my spiritual life, I have found that to experience the abundance of God we need to boldly explore the depth of God. Find Him in His Word.

Seed ance ment

two tells us that spiritual endurrequires perseverance and committo the Word, not fleeting emotion.

September 2008 magazine 15

Seed Three: Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain (Mark 4:7, NRSV).

T r a n s l a t i o n : And others are those sown among the thorns: these are the ones who hear the word, but the cares of the world, and the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things come in and choke the word, and it yields nothing (Mark 4:18 & 19, NRSV).

Let’s face it. This can happen. Seed three is the easiest category under which we fall. This busy Christian woman’s culture that we forage through each day offers challenges. We battle against the world through programming, dealing with budgetary constraints, desiring to be like someone more successful and changing our look to accommodate that. The word that serves as the very breath of ministry is choked, strangling the life from God’s work.

Individually, we also obstruct it. Much like a road block, we place our cones labeled family, schedule, budget, bills, responsibilities, church attendance and expectations and litter the street that once was used to herald in the presence of God to our heart. Eventually, there is no pathway clear enough to allow spiritual breath to pass.

Often, we fill our lives with the “what ifs:” What if I had a bigger house? Then my life would look better.

What if my husband was a different man?

Then my marriage would be better.

What if I had more hours in my day? The truth is that we would fill them and remain empty.

Ecclesiastes 6:9, NRSV, “Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of desire; this also is vanity and a chasing after wind.”

To spiritually endure this life we have to choose what is before us, and not what is beyond us. Filling our lives and quiet times with concerns over what might happen is a fruitless endeavor. It leaves us exhausted and discouraged. At the end, we have no peace and are further from trusting the sovereignty of God. We have to start by choosing what God is offering.

Seed three tells us that spiritual endurance requires a singular focus for our hearts.

16 © exemplify magazine

Seed Four: Other seed fell into good soil and brought forth grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirty and sixty and a hundredfold (Mark 4:8, NRSV).

T r a n s l a t i o n : And these are the ones sown on the good soil: they hear the word and accept it and bear fruit, thirty and sixty and a hundredfold (Mark 4:20, NRSV).

Gently, the seed falls on the perfect ground and brings forth perfect grain. Or, is it really so perfect?

You see, I have been all four of these terrain ‘types’.

I have had many spiritual lives in 35 years. It was not until I engaged my will that I fell on good soil.

I do not say this to boast in myself. Being in the Word was not a natural practice for me, but it became a natural pattern. The hours I have spent in the Word and in prayer are the decision of one who says, “I believe that You will show up if I seek You out.” I am hopeful.

This is where God grows us up, and I finally arrived there after years of devastating failures; but the power of failure is its direction. It points us back up to a place of sharpening, persevering, focus, and growth. It is always the right time to grow up.

Seed four tells us that spiritual endurance requires soil that is ready for the seed.

Because of this, I find that endurance is a perfect descriptor of this spiritual life. This politely named parable revealed a sower throwing out seed, but I think it was much more.

L “ isten. What do you make of this? A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn’t put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled among the weeds and nothing came of it. Some fell on good earth and came up with a flourish, producing a harvest exceeding his wildest dreams.”

Mark 4:3-8, The Message

17 magazine may 2010

image credit: microsoft

Stop Written by Christy McGraw

Playing The Comparison Game

We all play it. Some of us are better than others. At times we play it several times a day and sometimes we can go a few days or even weeks before we play. The game of comparisons.

Let’s face it. We have all done it.

We see a woman walking toward us holding the hand of a handsome man and the question inevitably pops into our head: “What does she have that I don’t have?”

We take a good look and then…comparisons start shouting in our head…

She is prettier. She is skinnier. She is taller. She has better clothes. Her smile is better. The list goes on and on. At a certain point you realize she has won the game. A game she was not even aware she was playing. But you were.

The game of comparison is one of the most dangerous games for our spiritual life.

As a single girl one of the hardest things we deal with in our spiritual life is often negative thoughts. This often comes in the form of comparisons. Comparisons to our friends with boyfriends or husbands. Comparisons to our friends who have a better job or live in a better apartment or live in a cooler city.

Comparisons are just negative thoughts. Negative thoughts can often occupy a single girl’s mind more than anything else. The more we entertain negative thoughts the more apt they are to pop up and the more comfortable we are in thinking that way.

When confronted with what we see as a lack in our life, our relationship with God can be affected. We question Him. Why has He not sent us a boyfriend? Why am I still in my current job when I deserve a better one? We often take control away from Him because we feel we can do better. There are several ways you can work to stop the negative thoughts and comparison game. Each way takes effort and time but if you are ready to stop playing the game they can work. If you continue the comparison game you are not winning….no one is.

4 Ways to stop playing the game: • Change your way of thinking. Putting on your new mind.1 Corinthians 5:17 tells us, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! I often think of this verse as the old being the caterpillar and the new being the butterfly. I wonder if the butterfly realizes its beauty. Does it know how special and beautiful it is? We can often get stuck in the caterpillar state of mind and while our heart is renewed…our mind stays with the old thoughts we have long heard: the negative thoughts.This is a slow process, but it can work. As a counselor that works with teen girls one thing I see often is this game….and that their thoughts are more negative than positive.

Changing your thought process involves hard work. First you must be aware of your negative thoughts. If you are really good at the game, you do not even realize you are doing it. Once you become aware of the negative thoughts you can counter them with positive.

The first thing I suggest is countering them with verses. For example if the thought she is prettier than me pops into your head you can counter the thought with 1 Peter 3:3-5a Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.

Knowing God’s truth of yourself helps you find the truth of yourself. Over time as you counter your negative thoughts with positive ones you are going to start viewing and thinking of yourself in a more positive way. When you can counter the negative with the positive of the Word you can also move on to things you know about yourself: those positive characteristics you know you have…physically, emotionally, or mentally.

• Start a positive thought journal. Another way to keep the positive thoughts going is to keep a positive journal. Chronicle your days but with a positive spin.

Write down the good things you realized, or maybe the good thing you did for a neighbor. The point is to remember the positive things of the day and not the negative. The more you work at thinking positively the easier it will become.

• Accountability. If you find that the first two ways do not work you may need someone to hold you accountable when your negative thoughts are just too much. It can be a trusted friend, family member, mentor, or a counselor.

You need to be able to be open and honest with this person about how you are feeling. This person needs to be available to you on a weekly basis at least.

• Prayer. This is of course the most important of all these steps. Ask for God’s help. The Word tells us to do everything in prayer and petition. (Philippians 4:6) Make it a daily prayer to ask for His help with the negative thoughts: to overcome your old mind so that your renewed mind may be apparent to you and those around you. He wants you to succeed in this just as He wants you to know who He has made you to be.

Those negative thoughts are holding you back from the renewed life you so richly deserve.

Each of these ways could be a stepping stone for you. You don’t always have to think negatively about yourself. He has given us a renewed mind and if we let Him…and with some work ourselves….we can all become the beautiful butterflies we are supposed to be.

Steadfast In the Storms

Feature Article

I watched her painstakingly build her nest piece by piece. She was so careful that her masterpiece high in the cleft of the branches would be strong.

Satisfied, she settled in to living, leaving precious eggs in the nest’s embrace. When the sky became dark and an angry wind began to sway the trunk, the blue jay planted herself firmly into the bowl of her home, fitting herself over her clutch. In the flashes of lightning to follow, her small form could be seen huddled as a shield, curtains of rain washing over her back. An occasional gust whipped her tail up, threatening to flip her out as the storm grew long and unrelenting, but the small mother held fast.

When a woman crafts her life as a follower of God, she carefully builds habits and patterns that shape her strong character. As storms arise, she faces the challenge of remaining steadfast in the face of formidable pressures, sudden attacks, and persistent forces. Demands may come from her own life or the outside world, swirling all around without warning. Knowing how difficult it can be to endure, the apostle Paul urged believers in 1 Corinthians 15:58 to be “…steadfast, immovable…” and to know their “…toil is not in vain in the Lord.” (NASB) We who follow God would not invite the onslaught of forces to threaten all we hold dear, yet there is value in doing battle with storms. James 1:3-4 reveals that, “…the testing of your faith develops perseverance…” ultimately helping the one who endures to be “…mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

When we find ourselves facing painful trials from life in a fallen world, we can be sure it is an opportunity to gain strength. This is true whether challenges are experienced within our own homes, in our relationships, within our church, in our work, or out in the world. Storms force us to hang on for dear life and guard what’s precious. Those who stay firmly planted, nestled in God’s truth, under a shield of faith in Him, will be called the steadfast.

In addition, even though the mother bird looked so alone in the darkness of the night’s gale, even she was not unseen or uncared for. Matthew 6 & 10 testify of God’s awareness and care for the birds of His earth. Therefore, women of God can be confident He sees and knows when we are tossed by the currents of life. Before Jesus returned to Heaven, He assured His disciples He would not leave them, but that He would send a Comforter to guide and help them.

In fact, He wants us to know His grace is “sufficient” for us to the point that His “…’power is made perfect in weakness.’” (2 Corinthians 12:9) There is not a storm that can overwhelm the strength of God or cause Him to leave His own.

Even as He calls us to endure, He promises to be with us and empower us.

20 © exemplify magazine

God promises a reward to those who remain faithful not to abandon their post in the difficult times. For those who endure the attack, strengthened by trials, they are given the name “overcomers,” and Revelation chapters 2 and 3 spell out the blessings set aside for them. Ultimately, the wonders of eternity with our Heavenly Father are on the other side of the storms, and God promises that, “He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be His God and he will be my son.” (Revelation 21:7) That’s motivation for staying firm!

7 On

Ideas in

for the

Hanging Storms

There are some things we can help us hang on in the storms

do to of life.

• Memorize a passage of Scripture that reinforces your faith. I recently used James 1:2-5.

• Find a prayer partner to uplift needs together, but be wary of using prayer time as talk time.

• Set aside time to fast and seek God’s wisdom from His Word.

Ask a friend to fast with you.

• Write down what God shows you in the midst of the trial. Beautiful things come from pain.

• Use music for meditation and encouragement. Ask the Lord for a “theme song” to carry with you.

• Call the enemy’s attacks what they are: fear, doubt, discouragement, weariness, loneliness, guilt.

• Remind yourself that storms pass and listen to testimonies of those who experienced victory.

The mother blue jay endured and the storms turned into sustained, steady rains. Eventually the winds subsided and became gentle breezes; the clouds gave way to warm sun. Morning brought the discovery that the small clutch of eggs hatched, eagerly waiting to be fed by the immovable mother who faced the new challenge with her characteristic faithfulness. No one had to tell her the toil had not been in vain; the sounds of the next generation testified of the legacy her endurance preserved.

Storms will come in a woman’s life, shaking her foundations and forcing her to hold tightly to what will not move. There may be moments when it seems like she is alone, tempting her to give up, but her Heavenly Father promises He will keep His eye on her, His presence with her, His power around her, and His reward ahead of her when she overcomes the storms in His strength.

Meet Julie Julie is a pastor’s wife, mom, women’s ministry leader, writer, and Bible teacher who is thankful for God’s grace in her life through 20 years of marriage and over two continents she’s called home.

She has never gotten to the bottom of her ironing pile, but she loves to teach God’s Word and write about how His peace covers each day, often finding inspiration in the kitchen, herb garden, or car line.

Julie enjoys writing Bible curriculum and freelance features for magazines like the P31Woman, the Message Magazine, the Baptist Bulletin, and a variety of online publications like: the Internet Café, Sanctified Together, and Everyday Life.

Check out Julie’s almost daily blog, www. comehaveapeace.blogspot.com, and her Marriage Mondays for more encouragement and information.

© exemplify magazine

Finding the Spiritual Athlete Inside of Me

Written by Kara Cox I’m no athlete. Never have been really, unless you count that short-lived stint on the girls’ junior high golf team. I’m dreadfully short on coordination and grace, severely lacking in speed and agility, and physical prowess, let‘s not even go there.

Some people have it, but friends, I don’t. So there is this part of me that just doesn’t get it. This part of me that has no real concept of physical training, of working tirelessly toward success, of sacrificing time and physical comfort in order to perform skillfully and win.

I watch television shows like The Biggest Loser and I marvel at the amount of screaming, sweating, crying and falling these people do to accomplish this dream of physical fitness and health. How do they put up with the grueling demands of Bob and Jillian? How do they stay on those treadmills and stair steppers for what seems like hours on end?

What drives them to endure? And then I watch the Olympics and again I marvel at the physical power and skill in these super-athletes. My mind cannot fathom the hours, no years, of intense training that was required to bring them to such an unfathomably awesome athletic state. Impressive just doesn’t do these persons justice. They are stunning. And I just don’t get it. But I think God wants me to. And it’s not so I can be on a reality show or run my way to the 2012 Olympics in London. I think He wants me to understand these athletes because spiritually speaking, I’m one of them. So are you. Daunting thought, right?

Consider this: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” 2 Corinthians 9:22-24 NIV.

Image credit:

Ivan Philipov | sxc.hu

22 © exemplify magazine

I could read this passage of scripture and rightfully peg the Apostle Paul as a Olympic level believer. He was in it to win it. He had a crown of glory in his sights and stayed the course. But if I just marvel at his spiritual prowess, I’m missing the point. Paul was addressing the you and mes of faith. Just your average Christian. We are called to exemplify this spiritual prowess in our own lives. Strict training. Eyes on the prize. Running to win. We need spiritual athleticism.

We need endurance to run the race.

I hope you know that this calling on my life utterly intimidates me. Strict training? Not in my give up my golf career at 14 soul. And spiritually speaking, it makes me a little weak in the knees too. You don’t have to have read much of the Bible to get the idea that one clear way endurance comes is through hardships.

Exhibit A: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance…” Romans 5:3 NIV. Exhibit B: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” James 1:2-3 NIV. I could stop right there and turn around and close the door on faith. It’s just too hard to have to endure hardships just to develop the quality that enables me to endure more hardships. That’s what my flesh says (in case you’re wondering, that’s the same flesh that eats ice cream while watching The Biggest Loser and carbo loads with lots of spaghetti before watching Michael Phelps swim at the Olympics. But I digress). But there is more to James 1 than just developing perseverance. See verse 4: “Perseverance must finish its work so at you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

A grown up Kara, complete and lacking nothing, doesn’t want to run for the door when hardships, trials and tribulations come her way. Mature Kara counts them all joy. That is the woman I want to be. Intimidated by the training process as I may be, I want to be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I am comforted in knowing that this whole strict training, run to win mantra originated with God, and because it does, He coaches us along the way. “We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul- not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glorystrength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us,” Colossians 1:11-12 MSG. It is God who makes us strong enough, who gives us the endurance to fight the fight of faith, to run with endurance the race set before us. This gives this clumsy, uncoordinated girl great hope. It’s his course after all, his strength and his reward. What a relief.

Perhaps I am meant to be an athlete after all.

23 © exemplify magazine

Image credit: Paul Kempin | sxc.hu

Written by Brooke McGlothlin

Four Reasons to Pursue Being Known 24 Š exemplify magazine

If relationships come and go…

If being human means that we will sin…hurt others…

If loving others means being vulnerable to people who will hurt me because (like me) they’re sinners…

Then I’m not sure I want any part of it.

I’ve been hurt. I’ve done the hurting. And sometimes I think life would be easier if I just didn’t have to mess with relationships. Hurting, by definition… hurts. And I don’t like pain. Why invest in something that is inevitably going to bring me pain?

A part of me is overwhelmed by the thought of being in this vulnerable place for the rest of my life. Does it never end? Do I never get to completely let my guard down?

Many of you ladies know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve wondered the same thing: Is it worth it?

The Case for Being Known God tells us we need each other. He didn’t design us to go through life alone. But why? Consider these four reasons to keep from waving the white flag in the battle to be known.

• Relationships make us holy. Deep, true relationship reveals the soul. It creates an environment where we can begin to see our sin – like looking into a mirror and seeing all the ugly for the very first time. Most people run when they see the ugly…the reality…but those who stick it out and work through to the other side find something precious, rare and beautiful; the opportunity to be more than you are.

The soul-knowing brings with it the gift of exhortation, discipleship, growth. It brings one who cares enough to take the speck out of your eye after she has taken the log out of her own.

25 © exemplify magazine

• Relationships keep us teachable. There’s nothing like being truly known by another person to keep us from getting a big head.

I look pretty good on paper. I can hold my own in a conversation and even manage to sound intelligent doing so. But sometimes, I get caught up in the black and white and forget to see the gray. Sometimes, I’m so grounded in the truth that I forget to show the love. Being soul-known allows others who love me and love the Lord to speak into my life and show me blind spots in my faith.

• Relationships keep us humble. There’s something safe about staying inside…keeping the doors closed and locked so that no one can see what’s going on in my life. But throwing wide the doors allows the light of loving friendship to come in and speak into the dark places – the places where I need help, encouragement, instruction, correction.

Being soul-known keeps my life on display so that God can use others to keep it clean.

• Relationships make us strong. “Where no oxen are, the trough is clean; but much increase comes by the strength of an ox.”

(Proverbs 14:4) A life without relationships is clean. No fighting, no hurting, only me to worry about. And it’s comfortable – less complicated. But oh, the increase that comes by the strength of friendships. Knowing, sharing dreams, discipling, encouraging, challenging, bearing one another’s burdens, and having someone else to share life with.

Life without relationships may be easier. But is it better? Is it worth it to endure the heartache for the sake of what can be?

Ease or increase? That is the question.

Interview by Judith Roberts

10 Questions with Author CJ Darlingtom

26 Š exemplify magazine

C.J. Darlington is the 2008 Christian Writers Guild Operation First Novel contest winner, and her debut novel, Thicker than Blood, is in stores now.

Thicker than Blood introduces readers to Christy Williams and her sister, May. After a series of events that leads Christy fearing for her life, she returns to the sister she left fifteen years ago. C.J.’s second book, Bound by Guilt, will be released next year.

[When and how did you decide to write Christian fiction? When is the earliest memory you have of writing? And what was it?

My earliest stories as a child were often about my dogs or other animals. When I was around eight I started what was going to be an epic Biblical story about Joshua’s horse. His name was Loopter, and the story followed the horse from his early years up until the fall of the Jericho wall. Then when I was twelve I started another epic, this time about a Labrador retriever named Moby. I didn’t finish either story, but I had fun with them!

I once told myself I would never write about humans. Animals were my thing. But then when I was a young teenager I got the idea to write a story about two sisters, and that story became Thicker than Blood. It was one of those ideas that wouldn’t leave me alone, and early on I realized I wanted the plot to not only focus on the external lives of sisters May and Christy Williams, but I also needed to share their spiritual journeys too. This happened organically. I never consciously decided I was going to write Christian fiction. But I grew up reading it, and I wouldn’t want to write anything else. Sharing the good news through fiction is a wonderful privilege.

[You’ve received amazing reviews for your first novel – and many of them discuss how you made “real” characters, relatable characters. How hard — or easy — was it to write a story with two very realistic, and flawed, women?

27 © exemplify magazine

Those reviews have been such a blessing to read because I have always wanted to write real. To hear people say things like that encourages me greatly.

Writing my main character Christy, who’s probably the more flawed of the two sisters, was actually easier than writing May, the Christian sister. I think that’s because Christy is completely different from me in many ways. I had more freedom to imagine her struggles.

With May, her struggles were closer to what I might experience — in some ways — so it required a little more self examination, which is always a challenge!

So many books deal with romantic love, but Thicker than Blood breaks that mold and focuses on familial love. What advice would you give single women?

Yes, I agree that many, many books in the CBA deal with romantic love. I recognize that romance novels or novels with romance as a strong thread are popular (and I applaud those who are able to write it), but I feel that sometimes single women (and men) are overlooked. It’s implied in most Christian fiction that the only happy ending worth having is the one where the girl walks down the aisle with the handsome hero. I would love to see more variety in CBA novels, more reality along these lines.

My advice for single women is three-fold. First, recognize that your singleness is indeed a gift. You have freedom your married friends don’t have. Use it wisely. Now is the time to look for opportunities the Lord places in your path to serve Him that perhaps a married woman wouldn’t be able to follow as easily.

Second, there’s nothing wrong with being single! You might find, as I have, that as your friends marry off you feel out of place at gatherings. When they start talking husbands, babies and homemaking stuff, it can be awkward to be the odd gal out. Having a wide circle of friends is a good thing. Try to find the common ground with married people, and you might learn how to bake a cake in the process. Ha ha.

Third, remember this . . . Jesus was single! So was Paul. If the single life were not a good thing, then surely Jesus would have found a wife and married. But He didn’t. He served God as a devoted single person, and that’s what we can do, too..

Have you finished the sequel to Thicker in Blood? It’s fun to work together! We’re identical twins,

by the way, so it’s easy to be on the same page.

I have! It’s called Bound by Guilt, and it releases in ear- Most of the time. LOL! We certainly have our difly 2011 from Tyndale House. This book took about five ferences, but we’re always able to work them out. years from concept to completion, but I wasn’t writing it full time. I hope to speed up my process for the next story! Do you have any other siblings than Tracy? What

Can you say who the main characters are in Bound by Guilt?

is the age difference between the two of you?

Nope, it’s just the two of us. I think I’m about three minWell, first of all, let me say that this is a sequel to Thicker utes older. I like to say she pushed me out into the world! than Blood in the sense that some of the main characters from Thicker become minor characters in Bound. What is your own favorYou will get to spend some time with Christy Wil- ite book or author? Or books and authors? liams again, but this book does stand alone as well.

You don’t have to read Thicker than Blood to enjoy it. Do you have about an hour? Wow, my list is huge.

The main character of Bound by Guilt is a teenage girl named Roxi Gold who finds herself in some serious trouble involving rare books, among other things. A supporting character is Abby Dawson, sister of bookstore owner Hunter Dawson.

Do

you

have

any

other

books

The first Christian novels I read were by Frank Peretti, so he’s always been a favorite. Especially This Present Darkness & Piercing the Darkness. James Scott Bell is a fantastic author I always enjoy reading. Same for Sibella Giorello. Her novel The Rivers Run Dry is tops on my list.

planned?

I am currently writing a third book that connects with both Thicker than Blood and Bound by Guilt in some interesting ways.

How has homeschooling affected your writing?

My parents gave my sister and I a great gift by homeschooling us. Homeschooling nurtured our creativity and gave us the confidence we needed to pursue our dreams. Our parents were — and still are — our biggest cheerleaders. I think the most important thing homeschooling taught me was how to teach myself. That’s huge. And by allowing us to learn at our own pace, we were able to graduate early, which gave us the freedom to pursue things like writing a little earlier than some.

You and Tracy started up TitleTrakk.com. How did this come about? What’s it like working with your sister?

Back in 2006 Tracy and I were looking for ways to combine our interests. She’s always been into music, I’ve always been into books. It made sense to start a website featuring interviews and reviews of the latest in Christian entertainment.

28 magazine may 2010

CJ DARLINGTON

Have you stopped in today?

29 magazine July 2010

Written by Andrea Mitchell

For What You’re Worth: Changing Our Minds About Our V alue 30 © exemplify magazine

Do you know what you are truly worth?

If someone had asked me that question not too long ago, my immediate response would have been “nothing.” I truly believed that I was worthless.

Worth is defined as value, or the estimation associated with something. Thesaurus. com lists synonyms of worth such as benefit, class, desirability, importance, significance, and usefulness. For many years I tried to find my worth in what I looked like and what I did. I thought I was only desirable if I weighed a certain amount, dressed a certain way, and had perfect hair and skin.

I thought my significance was wrapped up in what kind of house I lived in and where I shopped – even for groceries. And I believed that I was really only worth something if what I did had some semblance of importance and usefulness – forget about being a stay-at-home-mom. I wanted to make a difference!

I spent much time, much energy, and much money chasing after these things in an effort to make me feel better about myself. All I accomplished was gaining twenty pounds, getting stressed out with my job, and making myself generally miserable.

31 © exemplify magazine

Where do we find our worth?

And then one day I started to get it. As long as I chased these things, I would never be happy. I would never feel like I was a person of value because the world’s idea of what makes us valuable changes all the time. Solomon aptly describes chasing after the things of this world as “meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 1:14, NIV) The years I spent focusing on these things, primarily my weight, were extremely dark times for me. Finding my worth in the world became an act of worship. My gods were my body, my status, and my significance. The irony is in following after these false gods, my life actually became worthless (see 2 Kings 17:5).

God does not want us to chase after the wind.

He wants us to chase after Him. It doesn’t matter how hard we try, we will never be satisfied trying to find ourselves in the things of this world. As believers, we are to find ourselves, or more accurately lose ourselves, in Christ.

“He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.” (2 Corinthians 5:15, NLT) It seems counterintuitive to stop living for ourselves in order to find our worth. And yet God has told us again and again in His Word that is

Julu 2010 magazine 31

“Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Once our minds are transformed and in line with God’s vision for us, we will be able to distinguish the truth from the lies. We will no longer believe “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this that our worth is wrapped up in our appearance, our world, but be transformed by the renewing of your status, or our significance. mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2, NIV)

How do we do stop finding our worth in the worthless?

Let’s unpack this a bit.

Instead we will know deep in our hearts that our worth is completely and irrevocably wrapped up in Jesus.

“Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world.” I’ve been going through a study on the book of Daniel by Beth Moore. In the study, Beth points out that the one thing that made Daniel stand out from all of the other exiles was his resolve.[1] Daniel I truly believe that God longs for His daughters to resolved to not partake of the king’s table when inknow beyond doubt that we are loved and valued vited because he wanted to keep himself separate

by Him beyond measure. And yes, that means you. from the corruption of Babylon. (see Daniel 1:8) We have listened to the lies of this world for far too long – it’s time for our hearts and minds to be transGirlfriend, that is exactly what we need to do. We formed and renewed! need to resolve to not partake of the world’s table.

We need to stop focusing on and allowing ourselves If you are tired of believing the lies of this world, if to be shaped by the external, fleeting fashions of you are tired of trying to find your worth in meaningthis age. Remember Solomon’s conclusions? “Evless things that come and go at the whim of our culerything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” ture, I hope you will join me on this journey of discovering our true worth. Over the next few weeks, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” I like take some time to honestly assess where you place the picture I had when I looked up these phrases in your worth by asking yourself a few questions: the Greek, one of renovating. In our first house we What things or people do I tend to look to for my had the ugliest and most dated kitchen you could significance? possibly imagine. I’m talking the epitome of tacky.

Even the appliances, left there by who knows how Are there areas of my life that I have been wrongly many past owners, hearkened back to days better worshiping, in hopes to find value and importance left gone in all their avocado green glory. for myself?

We couldn’t afford to renovate this space, but in my Do I really believe that God values me? mind I gave that kitchen the transformation of its life. It let go of the dated and ugly and joyfully emIn the coming months, we will explore the different braced the new. You would never have recognized areas that we seek our worth in, expose the lies we it. believe, and come to a better understanding of who we are in Christ.

That is what God wants from us. He wants us to be transformed, to be renovated, by the renewing of Of what we are worth. our minds. He wants us to stop trying to find our value and importance in the old, ugly, avocado green things of this world and joyfully embrace the new life He has freely offered us.

32 © exemplify magazine

[1] Beth Moore, Daniel Lives ofImage Integrity Words of Prophcrediit: Microsoft ecy, (Nashville, Lifeway Press, 2006, p.24)

33 Š exemplify magazine

Turbulence Test

Feature Article 34 Š exemplify magazine

Have you noticed how some things happen? The teacher teaches you new material and then a test is slapped on the desk and you have to show you learned what they taught you.

Life is like that teacher. It’ll teach us something and just when we think we’ve got the concept down pat and we’re ready to run with it, we’re blindsided with a test. Hopefully we’ve learned enough to pass the test, but sometimes it’s enough to drive us crazy.

We don’t want to stop for a test; we want to keep moving forward, learning and living. But that’s not how life is, so over time we wise up to it and we’re prepared, or so we think.

That seems to be when the Turbulence Test hits; that one is a triple action doozie because it gets you when you think you’re doing great and making headway. It tends to body slam you before you have any idea that it’s even creeping around the corner.

It makes you wish you’d been knocked into tomorrow simply so you’d be out of its way. There’s no such luck, though. The test tethers you in the turbulence and pounds away at you, wave after wave after wave. While the turbulence is still raging all around you, you lay there, trembling and thinking, “But Lord, I said I’d do this thing for You! Why is all this happening? How am I supposed to obey with this trouble all around me? Don’t You care that I said I’d obey?”

So often I hear people credit Satan with that kind of test, but lately I’ve been wondering if that’s a ploy Satan whispers in our ear to prevent us from learning all we can, and should, from the Turbulence Test.

Check out the end of Mark 4. Jesus is teaching the disciples about faith with parables and explaining everything to them privately. Later that evening He has them all load into boats to cross to the other side of the Sea of Galilee. On the way He falls asleep and sleeps through the storm until the men wake Him. 35 © exemplify magazine

“…’Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?”And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?’” (Mark 4:38-40 NASB) Ouch. They had seen countless miracles. Jesus had just been teaching them about faith and they even called Him Teacher. But when their teacher set a test in their lives, they bombed out. Big time. Then they accused Him of not caring.

They aren’t alone in that boat though! I know I’ve done the same thing countless times; I think it’s safe to guess that I’m not the only one. But I’ve taken it one step further. I’ve given Satan the credit for the test. Yet when I look at things in light of this passage, I don’t think it was Satan at all. I think it was my Savior, Jesus, who was simply testing me on material He taught me; material I thought I understood and even thought I was ready to move on to bigger and better lessons. It’s the testing that solidifies the teaching, helping us retain the lesson.

Look at Israel. God gave them clear instructions to destroy the nations that occupied the Promised Land, but they didn’t. As a result, God used those very nations to test them. “I also will no longer drive out before them any of the nations which Joshua left when he died, in order to test Israel by them, whether they will keep the way of the LORD to walk in it as their fathers did, or not.” (Judges 2:21-22 NASB) God gave each generation a chance to see if they had finally learned the consequences of idolatry or not. Repeatedly they failed the test and ended up oppressed by their enemies. God used those nations to help teach them the same lesson over and over again until they learned it and passed the test.

And don’t forget Job! Check out Job 1 to see who it was that first mentioned Job’s name in the conversation between God and Satan. It was God, not Satan! Not only that, but after the first two chapters, Satan’s name isn’t mentioned at all; but, God is throughout all 42 chapters. Look who Job credits his troubles with in Job 1:21 “…The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.” (NASB) Just as a good teacher tests their students to see if they learned the lessons and material or not, so God tests His people. He gives us the opportunity to demonstrate we’ve taken to heart the lessons He’s taught us and that we’ve learned and incorporated them into our lives.

Many times, because I thought it was Satan throwing opposition my way, I completely missed what I think God might have been trying to point out to me through the test. Because I didn’t understand or accept the test was from God, I tried to bulldoze my way through, but there is no bulldozer big enough nor strong enough to blaze through one of God’s tests.

When we stop giving Satan more credit than he has coming, and give God the credit, we take our eyes off the deceiver and focus them on God. Keeping our eyes fixed on Christ is a key to enduring.

When a Turbulence Test slams into you out of nowhere, follow the disciples’ example. Take your eyes off the storm and look straight to Jesus.

He gives grace for the moment so you can stand strong.

36 © exemplify magazine

Life is never dull for Patty as she juggles being a wife, a homeschooling mom of five, bookkeeper of their family business, a Bible study facilitator, an online blogging class teacher, a website manager, and a writer. As long as she’s obeying God’s leading, she figures that sanity is a novelty and not a necessity. Patty clings to the promise that God will enable her to do what He asks of her. She writes about Finding the extraordinary God in our ordinary lives and weaves lessons she’s learned into short stories and devotionals, which are on her blog

Patterings.

@exemplify

Written by Wendy Miller

The Beauty of “No.�

Image credit: Michal Zacharzewski, SXC 38 magazine may 2010

Christian women tend to shy away from one word. Why is it that we fall into the trap of believing that no is a foul word? When used as a means to respect ourselves, our God and our faith, no is a beautiful word and I’m going to highlight why.

The Obedient No

Saying No to Ourselves God calls us to listen to Him. I’m guilty of having a dispute with someone and fighting the temptation to call everyone and their mother to seek validation. To be affirmed.

But there’s a better outlet. It would serve me so much more to plug into God in prayer. It takes discipline to listen to God’s direction— to go to Him first when we’re feeling vulnerable and uncertain. The first no we need to master is saying no to ourselves. When we become skilled at this we can confidently go out into the world and practice our no.

Leaving the Crowd to Stand Alone There will be times when we are faced with making a decision that runs against the current. Sometimes it’s not always noticeable, but other times it might be glaringly obvious.

Not so obvious: the many times I’ve turned down solicitations for me to help with school functions. Blinking bright red obvious: the night in high school when I went out with a few friends and they got high and I refrained.

It’s good to practice this, good to understand our no counts and can be respected.

Waiting on God There are times a no is really more of a not yet. I have a dear friend from college who longs to be married. She’s been on every dating website out there but she simply hasn’t found “the one” yet. I don’t see this as God telling her she won’t be married. However, she is demonstrating discernment as she dates and isn’t about to marry someone when the timing isn’t right. She says no, but I’m wondering if maybe as she waits on God she’ll discover the no is really a not yet.

The Wise No Knowing Your Boundaries When you’re unafraid to say no, you demonstrate you have boundaries—you are essentially saying, “I am calling for you to respect me.” I’ve had several friends share with me how fellow moms have taken advantage of them by having them watch their children for exceeded amounts of time. When my friends divulge this to me I ask them, “Did you tell them no?” I listen as they beat around the bush saying things like, “Well, I don’t want to be mean” and “I want to witness to them.”

Kindness and witnessing aren’t going to work very well when you’re harboring resentment because you haven’t learned to say no. There really is a time for it.

Guarding Your Heart I hate feeling manipulated. I have a few people in my life who could get full time jobs as manipulators. God tells us our heart is the wellspring of life, to guard it. When someone is working us over for their own selfish gain we are well within our right to practice our no as a response.

And practice it. And practice it. On the flip side, we need to be respectful when we are on the receiving end of a no.

The Confident No

Make Your ‘Yes,’ Yes and Your ‘No’, No James refers to a man looking in the mirror and moments later walking away not remembering what he looks like. He’s referring to forgetting Scripture, but I think he’s also making a point about having an unwavering faith. As John Mayer sings, “Say What You Need to Say.” Whether it be yes or no, say it boldly. Say it knowing you’ve prayed about the most effective way to communicate it. And when you say it, you don’t always need to string an apology with it.

“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’, anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” Matthew 5:37 (NIV)

Stop the Fish Handshake No Do you know what I’m talking about? Have you ever extended your hand when you were introduced to someone and had them extend their hand only to wonder if you shook the hand of a dying perch? I’m not suggesting you need to shake so hard you jiggle the person, but be alive when you shake someone’s hand. Same goes for your no. If you emphasize your no with the vocal inflection of a baby bird, don’t be surprised if the pushier type continues to ask and ask and ask.

The Protecting No

Look Out for Your Time Time is a precious commodity. We need to be mindful of our days, our hours, and our minutes. For this reason, it’s the clever woman who learns to decline tasks that God isn’t calling her to. It’s not just healthy to do this but it demonstrates trust in the Lord.

In Luke there are plenty of examples of how Jesus retreated alone in order to be spiritually refilled. He models a healthy way of life for us. Can you imaged how drained he got? How drained do you get? Are you protecting your time by only saying yes to high priority tasks?

Or are you slowly letting the life be sucked out of you by mindless, ineffectual projects?

40 © exemplify magazine

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5: 16

Looking Out for Your Character Have you ever felt like someone was pressuring you into something? A steam iron to your will perhaps? Don’t flatten out without a fight.

God longs for us to be women of character.

Becoming a woman of character requires us to say no to bulldozers, bullies and pressurecooking faux obligations. If someone is coaxing you to do something that will rob you of your energy, your spiritual grounding or your convictions, don’t roll over like a dog playing dead and let them rule how you’ll live your life. God gave you brains. He gave you a spirit—His Spirit, so it’s essential to be wary of who you let make decisions for you.

Say this out loud three times: No is a good word. No is a good word. No is a good word.

It’s time we retrain our thoughts to understand this as such. There really is a time for everything. And it’s time women learn that no needs to crawl out from the shadow of our guts and shine in the sun a little more often, having flown from our mouths with confidence.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1

We’re getting ready!

We’re looking for Christmas season articles for our annual special feature issue.

Some examples of articles we are looking for are: •How to Decorate on a Budget •Crafting projects/tutorials •How to Plan a Christmas Feast & Keep Your Sanity •Recipes for cookies, desserts, dinner •Keeping the right focus this holiday season •Shopping Lists & Tips •Reflections on the birth of Christ Articles are welcome to be submitted until October 17th.

Questions on the submission guidelines or on specific themes can be directed to Karen Lowe at submissions@exemplifyonline.com.

Written by Alison Hunt

One Brick at a Time In the December 2009 issue of Exemplify I wrote this vision that God gave me about the state of my heart and life: “What I saw was a princess imprisoned in a tiny brick cell with no door to get in or out. In one corner is a pile of brick and mortar. In another corner is a stack of books filled with her secret desires and hopes.

She never writes anymore though. Her ink well dried up years ago.

In another corner is a tall standing mirror caked in dust and grime.

She is beautiful, but there is no radiance in her tear stained cheeks because she has not seen the sun in a very long time. She can’t remember how she got inside, but she knows she wants to get out. As she walks the border of her room, she beats the walls looking for a weak point to escape. Every day she walks her room and each night she draws the same conclusion that whoever built these walls spent a lot of time making sure they would never come down. At the end of the vision she went to her mirror, wiped some of the grime away, and I saw my face.

42 © exemplify magazine

Image credit: Michal Zacharzewski, SXC

I made a few outward steps by joining a women’s Bible study at my church. I researched all of the options, and chose the one led by a woman I had been wanting to get to know. I also decided to join a life group group, aka Sunday school. When I set this goal, a new 20-somethings coed life group was starting. This suited my introverted ways because I didn’t have to Since then it has been my mission to bring down the jump into an already formed group. Perfect! walls I so expertly built around my life. The first area where I got real honest real quick was with this very column, In First Person. So far it’s been an amazing For the first few months I was so excited about the challenge to not hide my heart. Last month’s column strides I’d made to step out, and I expected these was an especially honest look into my life. Somehow new friends to call me to spend time together. I mean, it’s easier to bear my soul to the world wide web than to I put myself in their proximity, so why wouldn’t they call? Right? Wrong. I prayed and told God I had done the people in my life. my part by joining these groups and asked why I was Another aspect of life that God has challenged me is in not getting the expected results. {Pride, party of one!} God showed me that in my anxiety and self-protection, I built myself a room with no visible escape. But what I saw next gave me hope. It was a picture of me standing in the middle of that very same room, arms held high with my books in my hands and the walls were crumbled to the ground.”

making friends. The girl in that vision was alone. I do not want to spend my days alone, but I will remain that Don’t you just love when you pray and tell God about your frustrated expectations, you then have that “ahway if I continue in the same patterns. ha” moment and your stupidity is revealed? Yeah. It “Hello, my name is Alison and I am an introvert. I prefer was one of those times. What I realized was that my reading a book over going to a party and every day I pride was only letting me go so far. I had the wrong atneed time by myself to recharge my energy.” I own this titude about friendship. I defaulted to the insecure bepart of my personality now, but it used to be my excuse lief that if someone wanted to be my friend, then they would be my friend. When I was given insight to my for living behind my walls. pride, it stung, and my spirit needed to be adjusted.

It was easy to make friends through childhood and into college. A lot of those friendships began through proximity and then grew into something more meaningful. It did not take much intention to find a best friend in those days. Now, as a very single woman in my late twenties, it’s more difficult to make friends. It requires more intention and openness because they haven’t been around for the last 28 years. I found this to be especially true when I moved to NE Florida 3 years ago. I had one friend from high school who was in the area. She soon moved with her husband for his job, and I found myself without a group of local friends.

In that vision there were books filled with my hidden desires. One of those desires is to be known. Fully known. How can I do that if I do not make myself known and do not get to know the people in my life?

I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I am hard to get to know. It’s just because I’m afraid of rejection {like every other human on the planet}.

Now that my desire and fear are out here for all internet world to see, I can do nothing but move forward into the scary unknown of asking someone to be my friend, of asking a current friend to go deeper in our “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; relationship, and of asking friends to help me break knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone down my walls. who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7: 7-8 (NIV) As I grab my desires in one hand and my fear in the other, I hold them as an offering to the Lord, and I can For those first two years I was pretty starved for fellow- feel my walls coming down. Even if it is one brick at ship, but I convinced myself that I really really liked all a time. the extra time I had to myself. When I realized that I was sorely off balance and using my personal fortress as an excuse, I knew God was challenging me again. I needed to take some responsibility for the relationships in my life.

“Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” Psalm 25: 4-5 (NLT)

In Training (with a recipe!)

Written by Holly Smith Image Credit: Crockers, SXC 44 Š exemplify magazine

I like to run…no really, I LOVE to run.

But it’s been years since I have been in• a daily habit of running. Though never what you would call a sporty girl, I played volleyball, tennis, ran and danced from elementary school through college. Often, I would be voted most-improved player. I may not have been the best, but I kept on• trying.

Fast-forward nineteen years, and you have a mom of four with weight to lose and exercising to do. Sports are a things of the past, it would seem. Every time I have wanted to give up exercising and trying to lose weight, a friend would come alongside and spur me on in the race–”Don’t give up,” she would say. “You can do it!” • This happened to me just a few months ago…

My friend Diane is an Army chaplain with wisdom and insight beyond her years. She and her husband came over for dinner one night, and the conversation turned to running a half marathon at Disney World in January 2011. I laughed, because other situations have pointed me to return to running over the past two years–I am• slow to get it sometimes. I told Diane, if God provided the money and if I could do the work, I would go with her.

So I began training and preparing. Honestly, it has been slow-going. For a time, I• stopped running to just exercise. My justification was that I needed to throw off some pounds to run well and not injure my knees. (That was a total excuse.) Yet, I have lost 50 pounds since last October and am training each day for the goal.

Will I go to Disney in January? I do not know, but I will do my best to follow• through and make the goal. I am practicing, focused on short-term goals, eating properly, drinking plenty of water, stretching and asking friends to keep me accountable. My goal is to finish the race.

With the right tools and God’s help, I can most certainly do it!

Decide you want to run this spiritual race to win it.

“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” 2 Chronicles 15:7 It’s worth every single speck of trouble you face today to take every bit of it and let the Lord redeem it –counting coup on the enemy of your soul.

Prepare and practice with focus on both the short term goals and the final goal. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galations 6:9 When we grow weary, we have a Savior, who tells us to cast all our cares on Him and who reminds us to COME to HIM. He will give us rest. In the middle of the race, we get tired and we need God’s adrenaline to press on in the journey.

Get the supplies you need to run the race each day. “I give you this charge: Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” 2 Timothy 4:1b-2 It goes on to warn that a time is coming when sound doctrine will not be accepted and everyone will do what seems best to them. That sounds like today, doesn’t it? We need to know His Word and we need to stand up in faith, teaching our children truth.

A little watering down of His Word will be our downfall. So the supplies to run our race are VITAL. Stretch before and after each run–pepper each day with a prayer of surrender to God. “Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and He hears my voice.”

Psalm 55:17 Intersperse each day with praise, thanksgiving and confession–even and especially if you do not feel like it.

Invite a friend to hold you accountable–to run the race alongside you. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1 These friends are among your cloud of witnesses and their lives will be marked by your example of endurance in Christ Jesus.

Decide to press on beyond, past and through the obstacles that you will surely meet. “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; You stretch out Your hand against the anger of my foes. The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me; Your love, O LORD endures forever–do not abandon the works of your hands.”

The Lord has a spiritual track just for you. So don’t give up. Come just as you are–no need to throw off pounds before you run it–your knees can take the strain of bending daily to His will. Jesus promises to bear the weight of the burdens. If you are willing to press on through the hard times and simply seek Him, He will fulfill the purposes He has for your life. Faithfulness will mark the race you are running: for an inheritance–legacy really–to those who run the race behind you.

In anticipating your need for energy, I am posting a loaded-with-protein-and-carbs recipe that will give you all the energy you need to train–plus an added bonus of inviting your cloud-of-witness friends to enjoy an authentic Italian sauce that you slaved over all day just for them! I made it for our family and it was very good!

Ragù alla Bolognesa (from Colette Haydon John) 4 oz. olive oil 1 large onion, finely diced 6 celery stalks, finely diced 4 carrots, peeled and finely diced 4 oz. thinly sliced pancetta, roughly chopped 2 chicken livers, finely chopped 1.5 lb ground chuck steak, brought to room temperature 3 t. salt 1/4 t. freshly ground black pepper 1/8 t. ground nutmeg 1 c. dry white wine (I used Chardonnay) 3 c. chicken stock, heated 2 (13oz) cans Italian peeled tomatoes, chopped with their juice 4 oz. marscarpone 2 lbs. linguine, prepared before serving acc. to directions w/ 3 t. salt 1/4 c. freshly grated Parmesan cheese

46 © exemplify magazine

1. Make your soffrito Soffrito, roughly translated as “softly fried”, is the fried diced aromatics that are the base of the dish, in this case the onions, celery and carrots.

Heat the olive oil in a large, heavy based pot, then add the diced vegetables and stir over high heat for 5 minutes until they are soft but not browned.

2. Add the meats Add the pancetta to the soffrito, allowing it to release some of its fats, then add the chicken livers and brown. Mash the chicken livers with a fork as they cook to help them blend into the sauce.

Season the chuck steak with salt and pepper, and add. Make sure the meat is at room temperature to allow it to sear and not stew when it hits the pan. Brown the meat, stirring occasionally to prevent the vegetables from sticking. Add the pinch of nutmeg.

3. Add the wine Add the white wine and let it bubble up until it has almost evaporated.

4. Add the stock Add the heated stock a cup at a time, allowing each cup to evaporate and enrich the sauce before adding the next. This is much like the process of making a risotto and will give you a truly voluptuous sauce.

5. Add the tomatoes Pour in the tomatoes with their juice, bring the whole pot to a boil then reduce to a low simmer and allow to gently bubble, uncovered, for 3 hours, stirring occasionally.

6. Add the cream Stir in the cream or marscapone in the last 5 minutes. Give it a good stir and taste the sauce to see if it needs more seasoning.

To serve

The people of Bologna traditionally serve their ragu with homemade fresh egg pasta, usually tagliatelle or pappardelle, but a ribbon or short dried pasta is also perfectly suitable, but never spaghetti which is too thin to hold the chunky sauce.

Cook your pasta in plenty of salted water. If you are using dried pasta, ensure you cook it to ‘al dente’ and no further.

Heat a serving dish. Drain the pasta and turn into the dish. Add the sauce and mix well. Serve with freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano (Parmesan Cheese).

Enjoy!

47 Š exemplify magazine

Askesis‌ (That's Greek for Discipline)

Written by Lori Macmath 48 magazine

Beep….beep.…beep….

My drowsy arm hits the alarm off. As I lace my sneakers for my morning walk I wonder how marathon runners and decathletes do it. I head out for a walk that takes me up demanding hills and tries the muscles in my legs and hips. It is a daily act that requires discipline and commitment. This discipline and commitment guarantee that endurance becomes mine.

This daily physical act beautifully parallels the spiritual journey of life.

There’s no two ways about it: life is a race. It always has been; and remains today a race that requires endurance. Just as the Apostle Paul reminded the Hebrews centuries ago, he reminds us post-modern race runners: “Let us also lay aside every weight and sin that clings so closely and let us run with perseverance the race set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith…Discipline always seems painful at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees and make straight the paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. (Hebrews 12: 1-2, 12: 2 – 13 ,NRSV)

49 © exemplify magazine

Discipline for many of us is an “ugly” word. In any language, askesis (Greek for discipline) exhausts us. Askesis asks that we stop short of gluttonously devouring that entire package of cookies and it’s the same discipline that we need to curb our spending habits. Discipline is necessary to an obedient existence.

It’s the word that can bring out our best preteen angst. “Ugh, discipline!” However, as every well trained athlete knows, discipline is the key, the essential component to endurance.

Third century Christians knew askesis and they knew it well. It was understood that discipline and a holy life went hand in hand. These early Christians would gather from all walks of life to “train in godliness.” Culturally they understood that an athlete was not worthy of the crown prize until he could compete according to the rules. These early Christians knew that the only way to LIVE the Scripture was to be disciplined, and that was going to require commitment and work.

• 1 Timothy 4:7: Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. (NIV) • Philippians 3:8: Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ (NLT) • Hebrews 12:1: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (NIV) • 2 Timothy 2:5: Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor’s crown unless he competes according to the rules. (NIV)

Image credit: Billy Alexander | sxc.hu

Spiritual strength and stamina mimic physical strength and stamina in that they both require discipline (askesis) in order for the goal to be achieved. It’s no coincidence that these early Christians were aptly nicknamed, “Athletes of God.” Would you call yourself an “Athlete of God?” In order to progress on a path toward holiness, we must embrace the discipline required for spiritual endurance. The race will present itself with obstacles, and without discipline endurance will elude even the most confident disciple.

It may be necessary that we shift our way of thinking as we look to spiritual disciplines. It may be that just the thought of “discipline” exhausts you and adding another action item into the day’s agenda is simply not an option.

Be encouraged! Spiritual discipline is NOT simply another “to do” item. Discipline isn’t something we need to avoid, but rather embrace. Spiritual disciplines are our tickets out of the stressed out, cluttered, exhausted lives we lead and into a land where freedom and endurance lie.

“Notice, first that discipline doesn’t add to our encumbrances; it extricates us from them. Through discipline, we ‘lay aside every weight,’ which leads to freedom.

Second, discipline doesn’t wear us out. Instead it strengthens the parts that are ‘drooping’ and heals the parts that are ‘lame.’ Discipline builds fortitude.

Third, discipline doesn’t dissipate or distract us. Instead, it directs us and presses us toward ‘Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.’ Discipline gives us focus.

So though discipline may at first be ‘painful rather than pleasant,’ ultimately it rewards us with these three qualities: freedom, fortitude and focus.

Paul Thigpen, Soul Building, Discipleship Journal, September/October 2004

50 magazine © exemplify magazine

With spiritual endurance as our goal, embracing the disciplines will energize us, and who among us doesn’t long to be energized?

As Paul Thigpen notes, “If we think of the disciplines as spiritual food, then we should view them as a menu, not a recipe. We must choose from the menu according to our present spiritual hunger rather than stir them all together in one big casserole.” (DJ, Sept/Oct 2004, emphasis mine) This month, let’s have a seat in the Spiritual Discipline Diner, where the menu varies, but for centuries has included: • • • • • • •

Bible Study Meditation/Stillness Abstinence/Fasting Spiritual Reading Prayer Stewardship Spiritual Service through Spiritual Gifts

We must remember that none of these disciplines can be achieved by us alone. Alone we are vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy who will meet us at every corner to discourage our journey toward spiritual endurance.

Don’t let “spiritual blisters” stop you from running this race! It’s in the disciplines that endurance emerges. We continue to be encouraged by those ancient Christians. Should we find ourselves discouraged, be reminded that those early Christians would often choose a discipline for the year to focus on. At the end of each year, had they mastered it, they would move on to another. This is not a fast-food joint. This is truly a “sit down” meal. Discipline’s a journey. Take a seat, choose off the menu, enjoy the meal that will place you on the path toward spiritual endurance and have your moving toward holiness.

This month we’ll continue our movement toward holiness as we examine how putting into practice spiritual disciplines can move us into holy endurance.

Join me at the Spiritual Discipline Diner as we journey this month toward holiness through Spiritual Disciplines.

A DOWNLOADABLE PDF CAN BE FOUND HERE.

Feature Article

You Gotta friend in Me

Š exemplify magazine

q “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” 1 Samuel 18:1 ESV When I was younger, I moved to three different high schools in four years. I moved from small town rural Kentucky to big city life in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. After a few years of culture shock, I finally started to see the need to have some real friends in my life. Then I became a young mom and really sought out other women in my life that understood the season I was in with small children. Now, my boys are teenagers and things have changed yet again. I am enjoying a new season of my life as a woman, mom, and child of God. I’m almost thirty nine years old (first and last time) and have learned along the bumpy road of life that we gotta have girlfriends on this crazy journey with us. There’s not a one size fits all option on friendship and, to be quite honest, I think we need lots of different kinds of friends to fit all the many complex moods that we women have.

For me, I have several different women in my life. I’ll call them the seven S-Girls. They are the following:

53 © exemplify magazine

• The Sappy Girl ~ the friend who will cry with you for any reason, any time of the day. She can sympathize like no other and she’s the one you call when you need a good cry.

• The Silly Girl ~ the friend who likes to have fun.

She makes you feel young, free, and happy.

She radiates joy in everything she does.

• The Smart Girl ~ the friend you call when you need things to make sense.

She’s smart and more than willing to help you think things through systematically and carefully.

• The Sassy Girl ~ the friend that is not afraid of anything. She makes you feel brave and strong. She is woman; hear her roar.

• The Speak the Truth in Love Girl ~ the friend you can count on to help guide you to do the right thing. She is grounded in her faith in Jesus and she is the one you can go to when you are struggling with a matter of faith.

• The Stylish Girl ~ the friend who is always all put together. She’s got style, class, and the accessories that everyone drools over.

• The Sporty Girl ~ the friend who is already ready for a good workout. She’s the one who pushes you off the couch and into the gym even when you don’t “feel like it.”

These girls may be different for you than they are for me; but to be quite honest, I couldn’t imagine my life without them.

They challenge me, encourage me, bless me, and stretch me. To tell you the truth, they make me a better person.

If you’ve walked on this earth for any time at all, then chances are you have been hurt, burned, battered, and bruised by your friends. The reality is that no one is perfect, not even one. (Romans 3:10) So we have to put ourselves back out there again and again in hopes that we learn a little something along the way and walk away with a handful of friends that love, cherish, and appreciate us for who we are.

So when you ask yourself if you want to put yourself out there again, take a few minutes to read through these verses and you’ll see a few reasons that you gotta have girlfriends: • Life is too hard to walk it alone. (Ecclesiastes 4:12) You need friends.

• There is power in the prayers of your friends. (Matthew 18:20) • In the Bible it talks about friends/friendship over a hundred times, which means it is very important. Below is a list of how many times this topic is mentioned in various translations: • TM (The Message) 423 times • ESV (English Standard Version) 110 times • NLT (New Living Translation) 218 times • NIV (New International Version) 172 times • Let’s go to the ultimate example, Jesus.

Even He didn’t do life alone; He traveled with twelve disciples (friends). © exemplify magazine

I don’t know where you are in your life right now or if you even have any girlfriends around you, but I do know this…you and I weren’t meant to go on this journey alone.

We need our relationship with Jesus. Yes, we have our family relationships; but ladies, hear me on this…you gotta have girlfriends in your life to even out the hard edges.

Before we take one more step catch this: your girlfriends can not take the place in your life of your husband, kids, family, or God. As a matter of fact, they (your girlfriends) fall below those other relationships. They are not to take the place of those relationships but simply supplement who you are as a person.

Right now I am specifically talking to the ladies who are struggling to find time for their friends and also those who are looking to make new friends. I recently asked these questions on Facebook: “When looking for a friend, what qualities do you look for? How important are your friends in your life?” Here’s what I found that people are looking for in a friend.

• • • • • • • •

Respect Real/Authentic Fun Trustworthy/Dependable Speak the Truth in Love/Honest Accountability God Centered Sincere/Humble

I also had a couple of really great quotes on Facebook about friends. Kelly Lininger said, “A friend is someone who knows all your faults and loves you any way.” Lizherly Balta said, “To me a friend is someone that’s there for you in good times and bad times.”

Another mentioned that you don’t go looking for a good friend, you stumble upon them. That is why we need to get out there; go to the book store, coffee shops, PTA meetings, Women’s Groups, church, Praise & Coffee Nights, etc. The point is that we have to be willing to be a friend to have a friend.

We’ve considered the importance of friendships, the role they play in our lives, what people are looking for in a friend, and even how to meet new friends. The last thing to do (which is the most important) is to pray and ask God to bring these women into your life. So let’s pray.

Father God, thank You so much that You made us women so wonderfully complex. Father, You know that we have a need for other women in our life to laugh with, cry with, get silly with, get real with, and more importantly grow closer to You with. Open our eyes to see the women that we should have in our lives. Father, if we have already been blessed with incredible friends, let us not forget to shower them with our love and appreciation. And if we have not yet met the right group of friends, then Father show us where to go to meet them. Father, You are our first and favorite friend. Thank You for that. In Jesus Name, Amen.

55 © exemplify magazine

Meet:Melissa Mashburn I’m a woman who is passionately pursing God every day by taking my everyday, ordinary life and placing it as an offering to Him. I live by Romans 12:2 (do not conform to the pattern of this world…) and consider it pure JOY to be a daughter of the King, wife, mom, writer, speaker and Pastor’s wife. I write in my own world, Mel’s World, about the very things that drive me closer to Him. I’m married to Matt, my best friend, for 16 (almost 17) years and have two very handsome and amazing teenage sons, Nick & Bailey. You can find me in Mel’s World at http://www.MelissaMashburn. com or on Twitter at @Mels_World.

Written by Alene Snodgrass

Three Necessities for Your Empty Nest’s Revolving Door

© exemplify magazine

Don’t those phone calls that come in the middle of the night startle you? You immediately start thinking, “Where are my children? Who is hurt? Has someone had an accident?” Your heart beats faster and faster and it seems to take forever to get to the phone.

It was a phone call like that that made me realize I have no idea about how this “empty nester” season is supposed to work. In my mind I envisioned myself, the momma bird, stretching and training her little chick-a-dees to fly, then encouraging them onward as they took that leap of faith and flew from the nest. I figured I’d be on my knees praying for their safety and discernment in life’s decisions, but I never expected the phone call.

When I answered that midnight call, a small voice said, “Mom, can I move back home?”

Thinking of that call still brings tears to my eyes. You see, this kid was the one who loved being at home, but was so ready to stretch his wings and fly. Fly he did . . . college, two part time jobs, and he paid mostly for his apartment with a roommate. He moved out of our home because he wanted to soar to his own beat and groove. In other words, he was ready to bust loose from the rules of our nest!

And that’s how our midnight conversation went that night, “Sure, we’d love to have you move back home, but you really need to think about why you moved out. You didn’t want to follow the rules of our house any longer. Remember?”

As we visited to my astonishment he says, “Mom, I’m living by your rules at my own place. I’m good with those rules. Seriously!”

My heart skipped a beat. WOW, he was living by our rules. I couldn’t believe the wisdom this 20 year old had to realize there needed to be boundaries in life to help you grow and succeed. Maybe I was getting to witness God’s promise early in life with this kid. “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 NIV) My heart skipped another beat as my mind thought . . . what am I thinking? Does this house have a revolving door?

As I’m learning how to navigate this nest, in yet another season, I’m finding new worms and truths along the way. Through this incident God has revealed to me that it is necessary in this season of life that I:

1) be flexible, 2) be patient and 3) be welcoming 57 © exemplify magazine

1. Be Flexible

2. Be Patient

When my son called at midnight, I could have ruffled my feathers and been upset that my nest was going to get rearranged AGAIN. However, that would have done neither of us any good. It was staying calm, flexible, and prayerful that made the transition positively a great one. In talking to many empty nesters, I’ve realized that most children that leave home will in fact move back in for a season.

I’ll admit this can be hard. We, momma birds, are sitting in the nest watching our children perch on the edge stretching their wings ready to fly and we don’t know what to think. Part of us wants to yank them back in because we’re afraid they aren’t ready for the big, bad world of adulthood. Another part of us can’t envision a nest free of chick-adees. And yet the other part of us wants to push them out because we sense a change of season is coming in our own lives and we can’t help but wonder what it will be like. Will we survive or thrive?

I think some of us get ruffled by this because we’ve seen those momma bird movies. You know the ones where the momma bird exercises and trains her little ones for flight, she nudges them to the side of the nest and they jump and soar. Those little birdies don’t return to the nest.

Well, our nest might become empty eventually like a momma bird’s, but our children do return to the nest. Our children return for many different reasons. Just like the saying, “A momma’s work is never done,” so it is our job to stay flexible in encouraging them into this new season of life.

You have to love King Solomon for reminding us that “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV) Momma birds, we need to remember not only are we entering a new season – so are our children!

© exemplify magazine

No matter what thoughts roll through our minds, as moms, it’s our God-given priority to be patient and discerning. I don’t mean patience in a sense of letting our young adults run over us or our household, but a patience that loves them unconditionally as they breakthrough to adulthood.

Having a spirit of patience with my son, I eventually came to know the reason why he wanted to move home. More than anything he wanted to be done with school, so that he could be working and living on his own. But the experience that drove the timing of this decision was the need to get away from a roommate whose choices were those that my son knew could ruin his Christian character by association.

Patience! I just have to say, “Urgh!” Helping our children become adults doesn’t happen at the snap of a finger. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Yet, it is a season of practicing and calling on the patience God offers through the fruit of His spirit. It’s all about love. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Cor. 13:4-5 NIV)

3. Be Welcoming I realize that your journey to becoming an empty nester will have different challenges and blessings along the way than mine. We can also find a great Biblical example of how our children’s journeys will also be different one from another in Luke 15:11-31.

I challenge you to read the story. It’s the parable of the prodigal son. You’ll notice the difference in the two son’s personalities.

You’ll also read that the father was flexible, patient, and welcoming, “’My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” (Luke 15:31 NIV) Even though the sons didn’t understand each other, the father knew what was most important – the lost son was found. While some of our children may not be “lost”, I think they feel lost as they leap from the nest. They wonder what the purpose of life is, what they are supposed to do, how can they afford to live, and if they will actually survive. Not to mention their thoughts of college grades, careers, and finding a mate.

As momma birds, we are in charge of our nest, even when the young birds have flown the coop. Our job doesn’t end then; that’s the time when we are to welcome them into our lives, our hearts, and our prayers even more.

Who ever thought becoming an empty nester could be such a challenge? When you think of it logically it seems as if our job should get easier, but it doesn’t. As we are flexible, patient, and welcoming, momma birds, we’ll find our new place in the nest as our children are given the opportunity to become adults in a loving and grace-filled atmosphere.

If you are an empty nester, becoming an empty nester or an empty nester with a revolving door, know that this season of life is just as great and important as all the others you have already experienced. This is a season when you truly can help form your child’s adulthood as they witness your flexibility, patience, and welcoming spirit. I’d love for you to stop by my blog, Ordinary is Amazing, for a visit and let’s make this journey together.

Yes, sometimes becoming an empty nester does involve a revolving door!

59 © exemplify magazine

A Purposed Race Written by Jenifer Jernigan

60 Š exemplify magazine

Jesus had a purpose…

• • • • • • • •

to to to to to to to to

make the lame walk. give sight to the blind. raise the dead. free the captive. bind up the brokenhearted. heal the wounded. save the lost. make His Father’s Name famous.

And, His Father had a plan…

Jesus would leave His place at the right-hand of the Father in heaven and make His entrance into our sin-sickened world as a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes (John 1:1; Luke 2:7). He would be raised by two persons whom God had hand-picked to be His earthly parents, who would be little more than babes themselves (Luke 1:30-33; Matthew 1:18-25). Knowing and understanding the mission for His brief time on earth, Jesus would, early on, be about His Father’s business in the temple (Matthew 2:42 & 49). He would grow in wisdom and knowledge as a young man, having added to His divine attributes a human nature (Luke 2:52).

Jesus would call twelve men to follow after Him. Ordinary men made extraordinary by the hand of God. Men who would be sent out “to preach and (who would) have the power to heal sicknesses and cast out demons” (Mark 1:17; Mark 3:13-19). Jesus would teach them, firsthand, what it meant to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind” and to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37). He would teach these men, by example, how to serve others (John 13:1-15), how to love unconditionally (John 4:1-26), and how to stand with boldness and courage for the things you believe in (Luke 22:63-23:25).

Ultimately, He would show them how to die a beautiful death for the sake of your life’s plan, your life’s purpose (Matthew 27:32-38, 48, 50; Mark 15:21-26, 36, 37; Luke 23:26-33, 38, 46; John 19:16-30).

61 © exemplify magazine

Fulfilling His purpose was gratifying yet extremely exhausting. The plan was much the same, methodically and carefully laid out yet gruesomely brutal at times. If there ever was a contest for the most over-scheduled day, Jesus’ days would rank at the very top. Pulled from every side, I’ve often wondered when He had time to eat or sleep or think. There were the crowds who encircled Him wanting to hear more of His teachings, while other crowds enfolded upon Him with a killer’s instinct. Some sought healing, while others sought answers.

Demons screamed at Him, while sinners cried out to Him. Religious leaders called Him a heretic; He proclaimed His identity to be that of the Son of God. Yet through it all- the good, the bad, the easy, the difficult- was the fundamental foundation to Christ’s purpose and plan: His relationship with His Father and absolute commitment to live out His calling here on earth. Jesus was determined to run, with excellence, the race that had been laid out before Him. In order to run this race with excellence He knew that those precious times with the Father could NOT be forsaken. Jesus understood that there would be times when it would be essential to His calling to retreat from the race in which He was running in order to refuel so that He could remain in the battle refreshed and rejuvenated ready to continue running toward the prize.

The morning of the Sabbath, Jesus and His newly chosen disciples entered into the synagogue in Capernaum. As He taught with authority, a man possessed by an unclean spirit cried out to Him. Not at all taken aback, Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit and cast him out of the man (Mark 1:21-26).

Around noon on this same Sabbath day, “(Jesus) entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John” (Mark 1:29). Simon’s mother-in-law lay sick with fever (Mark 1:30).

Jesus took her by the hand, healing her instantly (Mark 1:31).

At evening, because His fame had spread throughout the town, “all who were sick and demon-possessed were brought to Him. And the whole city gathered together at the door” (Mark 1:32-33). Jesus healed many diseases and cast out many demons (Mark 1:34).

Now, that my friends, is a full day if I’ve ever seen one. My finite mind can only begin to fathom how utterly exhausted Christ was by the end of that day and we aren’t even told when “the end of that day” came.

Emotionally, physically, and spiritually Jesus was drained. Knowing that this race would require so very much more of Him in the days to come, the Word that had become flesh was in need of a few moments of reprieve.

Not only was Christ’s retreat intended to refuel Him for the race of His life, this time would also give Him the power to remain in the race.

“But He said to them (His disciples who had come looking for Him), ‘Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also, because for this purpose I have come forth.”

Mark 1:38, NKJV (emphasis added) Having spent those moments alone conversing with the Father, Jesus was reminded of His sole purpose in life: to preach, to heal, and to save. This time, the reminder of the ultimate prize awaiting, gave Him the endurance to remain in the race. _____

So, He retreated when the time became available.

You have a purpose. And, God has a plan for your life.

“Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place;” Mark 1:35a, NKJV (emphasis added)

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations. For we (you) are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we (you) should walk in them.”

Jeremiah 1:5; Ephesians 2:10, NKJV

Early the next morning, Christ was presented an opportunity to retreat for a little while; an opportunity He welcomed with open arms. While others slept, He withdrew to a place of quiet and rest. This time of retreat was purposed; it was not just a time to go away because He was annoyed or frustrated.

This time of retreat was for the purpose of Jesus refueling. “and there He prayed.”

Mark 1:35b, NKJV (emphasis added) My Old Testament professor, the late Dr. J. W. Lee once said that, “Prayer is the fuel that energizes the power of God.” Christ retreated in order to pray so that He was fueled with the power of God ready to continue on in the race that lay before Him. 62 © exemplify magazine

This race of life that you and I are running in is not an easy race to run. There are many mile markers along the way; some will encourage us to continue on, others will make us want to throw in the towel and quit. It is essential that when we reach those mile markers of exhaustion, despair, heart-ache, and the like that we press on toward the prize.

It is during those challenging times that we follow the example of Christ…

We retreat.

It’s okay to stop running the race for a moment and rest. In fact, it is of utter importance that we do so. When you are tired, physically, emotionally, and/ or spiritually, when you feel that you cannot continue on, find a quiet place to take refuge in. Maybe there is a park you can go to or a beach that is calling your name. Maybe your resting place is the swing in your backyard during your kiddos’ naptime, or it could even be that pile of undone laundry. Wherever and whatever your “place of quiet and rest” might be, make a note to retreat there as often as you can.

And, while you are retreating, you refuel.

Spend time praying to the Father. Prayer is simple conversation with God and is our time to pour out our hearts and lay our burdens at His feet. Your prayer time will energize God’s power in your life. You might want to begin recording your prayers in a journal so that later on, when you reach other mile markers of adversity, you can look back and see, firsthand, how God worked and provided.

Then, your time of retreating and refueling will enable you to remain in the race.

Spending time alone conversing with the Father will remind you of your purpose in life: to glorify the Father through living a life that exemplifies Christ; a life that reaches its hand out to the hurting, a life that proclaims the message of God’s saving grace, and a life that offers hope to the hopeless. This time of retreat and refueling, this reminder of the ultimate prize awaiting, will give you the endurance needed to remain in the race.

63 © exemplify magazine

Understand that there will be times when it will be essential to your calling, your purpose, His plan to retreat from the race in which you are running in order to refuel so that you are able to remain in the battle refreshed and rejuvenated, ready to continue running toward the prize.

“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”Hebrews 12:1d-2, NKJV

Run with excellence.

Run with power.

Run with endurance!