Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

SPEAK GURU

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Spiritual Guru

Never try to convince others that you are close. When love is expressed a lot, it is short-lived True intimacy

WHENa bud breaks, it becomes a flower. When a heart breaks, it becomes divine. A flower cannot break. What cracks is the bud. And it shatters for good. What you thought was love, was not love. In true love, there is no heartbreak. A broken heart means broken demands, expectations and hopes. How can love break? Can water smash? Water is fluid. Love is also fluid, not brittle. Something stiff is brittle. It can be cracked. If you cling to the past, you remain there. It becomes like a stone. Then you sink.

Love is so enormous. And for ages, people have tried to express their love and finally, they felt they cannot. Even the great sage Narada said, 'Anirvachaniyam prema swarupam' (you cannot express it). The nature of true love is that it is beyond expression. Love with wisdom is bliss. But without knowledge or wisdom, it is pain. It is not love which gives you pain. If it is pure love, that means you care for someone and want the best for them. Then, there is no pain. But when you want something in return from them or you have demands from them, then there is pain. Jealousy, hatred, greed, arrogance and attachment are all love’s distortions. Love by itself doesn’t bring misery. That is why knowledge and centredness are so important. If you are centred, you can handle all these distortions that come for a while and, then, disappear. Feelings are like clouds or waves on the surface of the ocean. These rise, come and, then, go. Love is a gift. You can't force anyone to feel love. Your wanting to feel love becomes a hindrance to feeling the love. Just relax.

When you meet a friend or an ex-partner again, talk to them as though nothing happened in the past, as though this is the first time you are meeting them. You don’t need to give any explanation. Be friendly as though nothing happened. Live as though you have no enemies. Our difficulty is that we express

too much love and so, after a while, we find that there is nothing more to express.

There can only be two things in the world —one is indifference, another is love. You can be indifferent to somebody or you can love somebody. Love can take any flavour. You can be angry with someone but even then, there is love. You only get angry at people you love. Your earnestness to have someone know you intimately destroys your intimacy. This is very important. If you feel close to somebody, don’t be anxious to show them that you are really intimate with them and you really care for them.

An enlightened person may not say, “I love you so much” but, in their very presence, you can feel the love. In their very breath and look, you can experience love. Every spoken word is full of love. Their very existence is love. That is enlightened love.

True intimacy is knowing that you are already intimate and relaxed about it. Never try to convince others that you are intimate, never try to express yourself too much. When love is expressed a lot, it will be short-lived. It is like a seed. You have to plant it and keep it under the ground. For a seed to sprout first, it has to be sealed somewhere inside. After that, it sprouts.