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lgbt comedy: funny you should ask
4
april 2015
Volume 7 Issue 9
6 jhonny
Rox-Hollywood
12 brandi
President
Jade Le
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Morgan
18 Turquoise
Production
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24 isaiah
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eXpression808.com to Entire contents copyrighted 2008–2015 eXpression! Magazine is a registered trademark. All rights reserved. eXpression! Magazine is published monthly in Hawai‘i and welcomes manuscripts, original works and various forms of expression for publication. eXpression! Magazine reserves publication rights to submitted materials. eXpression! Magazine assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials unless otherwise pre-agreed in writing. eXpression! Magazine does not take any financial or libel obligation to the content of its columnists. All materials submitted are consent to be original. All views and opinions are those of the writer and bear no implications on the opinions of eXpression! Magazine. Registered trademarks used within are hereby acknowledged, images and contents released and permitted. No implication regarding sexual orientation or preference is made in connection with any person, contributor, and or advertiser appearing in this publication.
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C OVER
Funny You
LGBT Comedy:
Should Ask B y: a n n e m a r t i n e z
Before Stonewall, humor about gays was about us, but not from us or even sympathetic to us. And it was mostly about anal sex.
“What do you bury the ashes of queers in?” “Fruit jars.”
have changed.
But at least lesbians and gay men had jokes made about them. Trans people And this one was a hit during the AIDS were considered a punch line just by epidemic: showing up. All that negativity took its toll. Just think of every mahu remark Comedy is a two-edged sword. In you heard when you were growing up. order for something to be funny, it has “What is the first symptom of AIDS?” “A sharp pain in the ass.” Even today, it is still too easy for us to bite. Gay comedians are a normal to fall into self-hatred. Drag kings and thing today, but this is a recent thing. Comedian Eddie Murphy thought that queens softened the hard edges of Years ago, comedian Redd Foxx had a AIDS was so funny, he incorporated hurtful jokes by becoming even more joke about a man who walks into a bar jokes about it into his comedy rououtrageous, throwing the stereotypes and announces he is pregnant. When tine in the 1980s, all the while callassociated with sin, disease, and the asked about the identity of the father, ing gay men “faggots.” His routine “ick factor” (“Ewwwww! Gay people the man says, “I don’t have eyes in are so gross!”) right back in our faces. the back of my head.” And this: “I was went nationwide with the release of Delerious, a film named after, of all That is why we love them. Those gonna tell a gay joke, butt f-ck it.” things, a Prince song (and we all know bitches. how straight Prince is!). Delerious feaThen the lesbian jokes started rolling tures Murphy on stage, and he opens Trans: Not Tranny, Not Drag in with gay liberation. his act with this gem: “I got rules. Faggots aren’t allowed to look at The trans community nationwide “What do lesbians bring on a second my ass while I’m onstage.” The next has rejected the notion that they are date?” fifteen minutes is all about his fear of nothing but drag kings/queens who “A U-Haul.” gay men: “I have a nightmare I go out “went all the way.” In Hawai‘i, the to Hollywood and find out Mr. T is a word “mahu” is regaining its rightful This joke led to another: faggot.” He goes on to describe why place as a Native Hawaiian identity. straight women should not have gay Worldwide interest in Kumu Hina, “What do gay men bring on a second male friends because gay men might the second documentary featuring date?” kiss them, and then those women Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu, is a serious “What second date?” might kiss their presumably straight sea-change from what was happenboyfriends “with AIDS on their lips.” ing twenty years ago. Only hardcore Killer Jokes You could only imagine how that joke homophobes think otherwise, espeinspired even more violence against cially those who insist on speaking Humor about gays wasn’t always “faggots.” as if they are the only Christians. We funny, at least not to us. After a still have a few here, but they have 1973 fire that killed 32 people in the Murphy got angry when gay people learned to turn down their volume Upstairs Lounge, a gay bar in New called him out, saying that only from eight to about three. That’s Orleans, a joke circulated throughout faggots would criticize him for what where Hawai‘i is different from places the city and was repeated on local was meant only in jest. My, how times like Oklahoma, Texas, and Indiana radio stations: 4 | ap r i l 201 5 - E X P RESSION 808.C OM
COVER
(which are becoming their own punch line for having such idiotic legislators). Speak out against LGBT too loudly, and people start making jokes about you. We’re talking to you, anally-obsessed Bob McDermott! “What does McDermott say before meals?” “Thank you Lord for this food. Now let me tell you about butt f-cking.” “What do you call the wives of John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, and Scott Walker?” “Chicks with dicks.”
Women Are Doing It for Themselves The new millennium is an age where there are actual gay comedians, and it was women who led the way. Ellen Degeneres, Wanda Sykes, and Margaret Cho busted out of the comedy closet, proving that lesbians and bisexuals can be funny. LGBT comedians of every orientation and gender are everywhere these days. This is also true in Hawai‘i. Four of them stepped forward to discuss life, love, and humor in the April edition of eXpression! Magazine: Isaiah Coatney, Brandi Morgan, Porscha White, and Jhonny Rox-Hollywood. All four said they were accepted by straight comedians, and all four use LGBT-themed humor when performing in front of straight people. How times have changed. To get you in the mood, here is some warm-up humor.
4 Lesbian Jokes “What do you call a Lesbian dinosaur?” “A lickalottapus.” “Two Lesbians bought an organ so they could play hymns.” (“Organ” is slang for “penis,” “hymns” sounds like “hims”) Lesbian: “Doctor, I have these red spots on each of my inner thighs. What’s causing them?” Gynecologist: “Tell your girlfriend her earrings are not real gold.” “What do you call a lesbian with a thousand assault rifles?” “Militia Manchester.”
One for the Boys Fire chief to two male firefighters fracking in a smoky room: “What the hell are you doing?” Firefighter: “He was suffering from smoke inhalation!” Chief: “Did you give him mouth-to-mouth?” Firefighter: “How do you think this got started?” EXP RESSION808.COM - a p r i l 2015 | 5
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Comedian and photographer Jhonny Rox-Hollywood always answers the phone with “Aloha.” He also likes to open his comedy routine with current events here in the islands.
“Last line I used was, ‘The trade winds are blowing harder than a hooker on a naval base.’” Originally from New York City, he worked (among other jobs) as a crisis counselor at The City Tenant Landlord Court Division in Brooklyn. Then he moved to LA for various gigs as an actor and barista. But Honolulu is home now, and has been home for the last nine years. The first word he utters when taking a phone call reflects that. When asked the difference between New York City, Los Angeles, and Honolulu, he said, “About 50 degrees in winter. Hawai‘i has the lowest crime in the categories of theft, assault, and fashion.” The only things he has not done in his new home is learn to dress casual and adopt anything near to a local accent (he has all of Brooklyn, a touch of Puerto Rico, and a hint of Yiddishkeit in his speech patterns). He showed up for our interview in a black dress shirt, black vest, grey bowtie, black pants, and light brown leather shoes - which is allowed, by the way. For men, matchy-matchy should only go so far, unless they wish to appear queeny-queeny. Like the other O‘ahu comedians interviewed in this issue, we spoke while sitting in chairs overlooking Waolani Stream by my house, a view that he found restful and energizing at the same time, especially when three young servicemen who just moved into the apartment above me showed up with a moving van. “Did you make a wish?” he asked me when he laid eyes on them. Besides discussing the scenery, a conversation with Rox-Hollywood goes from helping the poor to his many encounters with TV and movie stars. “Chance brought me here,” he said about Hawai‘i, adding, “What kept me here was love.” He met his object of affection at the IHOP where Rox-Hollywood works as a waiter - his man is a cook, six foot three and haole. “The boy’s name is perfect.” And what is his name? “I met him Justin time.” Groan. “He’s also a hard working, well-loved, blue collar worker.” They own a dachsEXP RESSION808.COM - a p r i l 2015 | 7
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hund, a little cutie whose name reflects Rox-Hollywood’s greatest desire: “Famous or not, I have an Oscar.” His puppy-dog Oscar likes to eat clothes.
“In the four months we’ve owned him, he’s eaten three zippers, four metal buttons, a sleeve, shoe laces, and countless socks. Next week he’s ready to crap a Prada jacket.” Rox-Hollywood loves animals in general - he got a kick out of Nahoa, my miniature parrot, sitting on his shoulder (they took a selfie together). He is especially fond of canines. “Well, you know what they say. You can trust a dog that doesn’t like certain people, but never trust a person who dislikes all dogs.” And he continues to live for the betterment of others. “My former work as a crisis counselor is done, but
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I never deny anyone food if they ask me for some, especially a panhandler. In many ways, photography is my mitzvah [religious duty] with the gay community and beyond. I donate a majority of the work I’m known for.” I asked him about the “Hollywood” in his name. “I stole it from Los Angeles until I get that Oscar. They owe me!” he quipped. He also describe being rescued by Ashton Kutcher and Liza Minnelli: I was walking into Warner Brothers Studio when security approached me. Apparently my shirt was identical to one worn by some homeless guy who was harassing people. Just as he was about to put me in handcuffs, Ashton Kutcher runs up, gets between me and the security guard, and says, “Jhonny! How are you? What’s happening?” Saved me from having to go to jail because of mistaken identity. The Liza story is even better: I was lent a brand new Mercedes by a director so I
could get to an audition for a role in Arrested Development. When I went through security, they thought I was a major star because of the car, so they directed me to VIP parking. When I got there, a lady was struggling with her bags, so I offered to help. She was so grateful! We were going to the same place, and when we got there, the director said, “Ms. Minnelli!” I then realized who she was - my Gay Card should be revoked for that. How could I not know Liza Minnelli? At the time, I had red hair. There is a rule that some directors follow: Never have anyone in red unless it’s your principal actor. He looked at me and told me to go home. But Liza spoke up and told him to keep me on, so he did. He knows such luminaries as Ashton Kutcher and Liza Minnelli because of the many acting gigs he got for himself. RoxHollywood also played a cop on CSI Miami, and a photographer on the regular CSI. He was a detective on Cold Case, a
jhonny
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Jhonny Rox Hollywood
jhonny
JHonny
reporter on West Wing, and a bar patron on Arrested Development. On ER he was a doctor, visitor, crazy person, and a dead body. When he moved here, he also made it ever so briefly on Hawaii 5-0. “I wanted to get on this show as bad as Lucy Ricardo tried getting in Ricky’s nightclub act,” he confessed. “And finally I got called in, only to see that they went to a close-up of the guest star in all two seconds of the scene I was in.”
Barista to the Stars
Rox-Hollywood worked at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf on Sunset and Fairfax, a shop across the street from the Directors Guild Association in Hollywood, California. Celebrities frequented the shop on a regular basis, and Rox-Hollywood kept a list of their brew of choice to help them get in and out as quickly as possible. For those star-struck fans out there, here are some of the highlights from that list, and personal observations of his favorite clients. ADVISORY: These are all from Jhonny RoxHollywood as our only source. Any stars who feel slighted or did not get the right coffee, feel free to contact us at eXpression! Magazine. We will happily print a retraction.
Orders
Vin Diesel: UVSNSAXXX no whip (Ultimate vanilla soy, no sugar, extra crushed mocha coffee beans, no whipped cream) Christina Applegate: Vanilla blend Hanson, teeny-bopper musical duo: Pure vanilla, pure chocolate (the Hansen brothers were kids at the time, so no coffee for them) Brian Austin Green of 90210: Mocha blend decaf Richard Schiff of West Wing: Latte
Observations
Ashton Kutcher is super polite. Melissa Gilbert (Little House on the Prairie) and Sara Gilbert (The Talk, Roseanne) are so sweet. Vin Diesel is flawless. Belinda Carlisle is beautiful. Ana Faris is a princess. Julia Roberts loves cinnamon rolls with her beverage. Christina Applegate swears we were 1000 times better than that Seattle brand.
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brand i
Brandi Morgan
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She’s a tall woman, impeccably dressed for her eXpression! interview beside Waolani Stream in Nu‘uanu. “I’m - well, I’m not going to tell you how old I am – you never ask a lady her age,” Brandi Morgan began as she took in the view.
“I did the husband thing and the dad thing, but I always knew there was something different about me. It took me a while to figure out what that was.” “The transition from married man to single woman was painful and kind of scary. When I told my ex, she was shocked and angry, and I understand that. I didn’t expect her to understand, but I expected her to at least try and understand. When my son found out, he was angry at first too, but we managed to work through it. “During my marriage, I didn’t really have any friends – the only people I knew outside of work were her friends and family. So when I moved out, I was alone and a little afraid. But then life got better. I started going out and people seemed to respond well to Brandi and like her. Some people even went out of their way to be nice to me. I started to realize that I wasn’t a freak to be shunned. Brandi was a real person with something to offer.”
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Doing It in a Straight Bar Morgan came to the islands while in the Navy. It was here that she decided to transition from male to female, and to perform comedy. “I started out by doing drag – you know, the lip sync thing. One night they let me do a few jokes. After a while, I tried doing an open mic night at Hula’s. Eventually, I got the courage to do it in a straight bar. I was terrified, but it went pretty well and I kept at it. I started getting better and that led to more gigs.� She sees advantages to being a trans comedian: “I can see gender from both sides, because I’ve been on both sides. I can see things as both a man and a woman. Plus I’m unique. I read somewhere that one of the keys to making it in comedy is to be memorable – I am memorable - the boobs help too.� She has yet to see any disadvantages. “I think that some people might be resistant to transgender people, but I’ve never felt any overt hostility. A couple of comedians have noticed people in the audience who were initially cold to me, but really warmed after I made them laugh.�
Going There Telling jokes is therapeutic for her. “Comedy is my way of owning my transgenderism. It used to be something I hid away and fought against. But once I allowed myself to be who I really was, I found I was much happier.� And she will definitely
go there concerning her physiology: “In case you’re wondering, yes, I still have the penis and yes, it still makes bad decisions. Not only do I make bad decisions, sometimes I am that bad decision. And this makes for some awkward conversations the next morning. ‘Dude don’t look at me that way! You knew what you were getting into last night. Yes you did f-ck a T-girl [trans woman] last night and you loved it. And by the way, she f-cked you too and you really loved it. Now stop talking because it’s not going to suck itself.’�
Acceptance in the Local Comedy Scene I asked Morgan if this place was a permanent gig or a stepping-stone. “Obviously there is only so much opportunity to do comedy in Hawai‘i,� she said. “Part of me would like to try NY or LA, but at least for now – I’ll stay here.� She also had kind things to say about her fellow comedians. “The scene here is small enough that most comedians know each other and seem to be very supportive of each other. And I have to say just how thrilled I am by how the other comedians treat me as a T-girl. To them, I’m a girl who’s just a little bit different. There is of course a lot of joking about my boobs and penis. They’re comedians – what would you expect? But it’s never been hateful or mean-spirited. Instead of making me feel like an outsider, the other comedians make me feel loved and appreciated.�
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TEST DRIVE THE 2015 LEGACY TODAY
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“Now I’ve come
to realize that this is a blessing, not a curse. If they did have a cure, I wouldn’t take it. ” EXP RESSION808.COM - a p r i l 2015 | 15
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If It’s Not Broke... Being trans in the military is still controversial, which does not keep trans people from joining. But she did not sign up simply to serve her country: “I think part of the reason I joined was to somehow fix myself. I think that happens relatively often because I know a few other trans people who were in the military also. Of course it didn’t work, but overall it was a good experience. It’s kind of cool now that DADT [Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the policy of zero tolerance that was enforced until 2010] is gone, how quickly the military has adapted. They even have LGBT month.” Her time in the Navy ended up being a plus because so many people in her audience are either current or former military. “We get military folks at most of the regular shows as well and they seem pretty appreciative of my style of humor.” The bond often transcends politics: “Even though most military members are politically conservative, I’ve found a lot of them to be very socially progressive and able to accept things out of their comfort zone more readily than some others. Most military people have traveled extensively, experienced other cultures first hand, and live and work in a diverse multi-cultural environment – so appreciating a T-girl comedian isn’t that big of a jump.” The benefits of military service did not include making her straight. “Of course this thing can’t be fixed – I was ‘born this way.’ But now I’ve come to realize that this is a blessing, not a curse. If they did have a cure, I wouldn’t take it. After years and years of denying who I am, I’ve finally realized just how lucky I am to be a T-girl.”
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Brandi’s Top 10 Gayest Non-Gay Movies 10. Alexander - Alexander the
Great? They should have called him “Alexander the Fabulous.”
9. Sherlock Holmes - Any of the
ones with Basil Rathbone. I don’t think he kept Dr. Watson around for his medical skills.
8. Thelma and Louise - Girl power, until they drive off a cliff.
7. Burlesque - Cher and Christina Aguilera - ‘nuff said.
6. Interview With a Vampire - Not
as gay as True Blood, but pretty damn gay.
5. The Wizard of Oz - Come on, “Friend of Dorothy” used to be a code word for gay. 4. Sex and the City - I don’t know a gay guy who hasn’t seen this.
3. 300 – Not just a bunch of
half-naked men, but half-naked Spartans!
2. Casablanca – I think there could be something between Bogart and Claude Rains.
And at Number 1!
Top Gun – Locker room scenes and half-naked volleyball… Nothing gay about that. EXP RESSION808.COM - a p r i l 2015 | 17
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Turquoise
Porscha White + Deedra Toilolo when cool is warm By: Mickey Weems | Photos: JTL
Turquoise Porscha White, Deedra Toilolo, and I sat overlooking Waolani Stream on a chilly end-of-winter day. I was bundled up in a flannel shirt (plus T-shirt), jeans, and socks. But the coolness did not phase White and Toilolo, who were apparently unaffected by temperatures that had plunged down to 6870 degrees.
Despite the Arctic weather and overcast skies, White and Toilolo’s warmth and light made me forget that I was freezing. Our conversation was pleasant and a touch crazy, especially when the topic of pets came up, even more so when Toilolo said she thought Transformers were real. Seeing the two of them together made it easy for me to believe that White, a stand-up comedian, looks to her beloved Deedra for comic material. One woman may hit the stage, but both are involved in the process.
A few details about you both, and how you met.
White: I am a 24-year-old West Texas native, the middle child with an older brother and sister. I am currently a student, bookkeeper, tax preparer, and a stock team member at Victoria’s Secret in Waikiki. Toilolo: I am 25-year-old O‘ahu native, the baby with an older brother and older sister as well. I am currently a bra specialist at Victoria’s Secret Waikiki - basically, I’m a boob checker. We actually met online four years ago. White: I saw Deedra’s picture on Plenty of Fish [online dating site] and I knew that I wanted to get to know her. I sent her a 18 | a p r i l 20 1 5 - E X P RESSION808.C OM
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message, and it was all history from there.
How have your families been with you two being together? White: Deedra’s family accepted me from the beginning. It’s hard to understand exactly where my parents stand because we have not seen them in such a long time. It is just too costly to fly out there, and on top of that, Hawai‘i costs two arms and a leg to just live a modest lifestyle. But my mom and all my aunties always ask how Deedra is, so I think that they are fine.
Tell us about your technique
as a comedian. You prep for a show just one hour before?
White: Yes, I will write down things that I want to hit on but that’s it. I talk about things that we all deal with every day: relationships, jobs, kids, and pets.
And most of your material comes from life with Deedra.
White: She is my inspiration, I love being with someone that I can laugh and joke with, and who has a sense of humor. I often work a lot so I am always stuck behind a computer screen one way or another… but Deedra knows just when to bring out “Big Daddy” to make me laugh.
“Big Daddy” - hmmm.
You see, I get really wrapped up in my school work and my bookkeeping. Deedra is such a little stinker. In the most pouty tone she can muster, she will say “Babe, I’m not tired.” And of course I roll my eyes, usually because I know what this is going to lead to, and I respond, “Well, you better get tired,” and before I know it, she is on my back thrusting against my butt, yelling three terrifying words the manly voice she has....”WHOSE IS IT?” I know what she wants me to say now, but in the beginning I would just say, “Yours!” That isn’t quite what she wants me to say. “Yours... what?”
Left to Right: Turquoise Porscha White and Deedra Toilolo EXP RESSION808.COM - a p r i l 2015 | 19
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I come up with several creative responses... but when I feel like my brain is finally going to explode from laughing so hard, I finally give in and say, “Yours, daddy!” Then she’ll grab me by my hair and say, “THAT’S RIGHT, BABY!” kiss my forehead and get up and leave.
On to Rated G subject matter. You said your cats give you good material.
White: Yes! Our cats are our kids, and sometimes they act so human it’s unreal. Optimus is terrible. You know, last night he popped a hole in the air mattress that I was laying on. Lola Bleu is a sweetheart just like any little girl should be. She has a tendency to come into the bathroom and needs to be pet no matter what you are doing.
A cat named “Optimus” - so Transformers are real?
Toilolo: I was watching the movie one day, and I thought, “Who could think of this and just make it up? It has to be real.” And from there, I started putting little pieces in my head together. I believe in aliens, and I do believe that they can come in a “transformer” form. If they can make technology for alien spaceships, who’s to say they aren’t robotic themselves?
Deedra is your comedic editor, so to speak?
White: She has a fresh set of ears and she can help me choose the exact wording that I want to use or the point I would like to make.
Deedra, how is life with a comedian?
Toilolo: It’s like dating myself! I’ve always dated people who were a little funny, but I’ve never met someone as funny as her. She’s made me laugh since day one, and I truly believe she and I will have long lives because of the amount of laughter we share. You think it would be difficult when it comes to being serious in a relationship, but there has been times when we’d be arguing and she would say something
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“She is my inspiration, I love being
with someone that I can laugh and joke with, and who has a sense of humor.” so funny it would stop. I love being with someone who’s into comedy.
How about a Porscha story?
Toilolo: A couple of weeks ago we went out to eat at our favorite local diner with some friends. Porscha asked one of them from Pennsylvania if she had ever been to the White House. Our friend answered yes and told us that she took grass from the lawn. Porscha panicked and told her how much trouble she can get into - she must never speak of that again, and trust no one! When Porscha finally started to “calm down” our waitress walked up. Without missing a beat Porscha yelled, “SHE DIDN’T STEAL THE GRASS!”
Tell us about big-hat church women.
White: Being a kid and growing up in a Baptist church you have that certain depth about you. Big-hat church ladies are the ones who have been saved and sanctified by the Holy Ghost, and have no problem letting you know. These ladies run the show, and you can see this from the moment you drive up to the church house with their matching three piece dress suits that are literally all one color with a matching hat. Women are the backbone and many times the head of families. From them, much of the humor comes to life. I was fortunate to grow up in a family with both parents, so I got to see the funny from both sides of my family, but my upbringing has a major influence on my comedy.
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EXP RESSION808.COM - a p r i l 2015 | 23
ISAIAH
Isaiah Keala C 24 | a p r i l 20 1 5 - E X P RESSION808.C OM
ISAIAH
Tell us about your upbringing.
doing it for science By: Mickey Weems | Photos: Courtesy of Isaiah Coatney
“My full legal slave name is Isaiah Keala Coatney,” he said. Coatney proud of his African-American-Portuguese-by-way-of Maui-and-Compton background, although it did set him apart from other family members in Hawai‘i and California (“I was the only black one in my Maui family and the whitest black person in Compton”). He is also the only person I have ever heard use the term, “incognegro.” Coatney takes us through topics such as the military, drag, and dancing nut-to-butt.
Coatney
I was born into a military family, my father being in the Army. When my parents met, my father was a bartender and my mother was a liquor control sheriff. A marriage bound to last, right? My parents split when I was two, and my mother brought me back to Maui where she was raised. I grew up surrounded by my Portuguese family, that is to say, around alcoholic, loud, emotional, and loving relatives. I went to Catholic school for all of my K-6th grade years. Never got molested once ruined my self-esteem. I graduated high school at 17 and joined the Army.
And in the Army you did drag. How did this happen?
I went to my first drag show when I was 19 at Rage in DuPont Circle, DC. It blew me away. There was a fat, loud, obnoxious queen that insulted people, made fun of herself and others, and groped straight men. People loved her. I knew right then that this was for me. I bought a lot of makeup - for my friends, girlfriends of course. Because they wanted me to get it. STOP ASKING ME SO MANY QUESTIONS!
Was this before or after “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”?
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was in full swing while I was in. I was lucky to have a unit that didn’t care about my orientation as long as I was on time and did my job. I still kept my off-duty activities pretty incognegro because I didn’t want to get kicked out over something as silly as not liking how my camouflage makeup blended together. I never had many close calls as I was good at separating work life from play. But there were a few times that I was grateful for the expert makeup tips I received from older queens. When I saw another [gay] soldier that wasn’t out in one of the clubs, they didn’t recognize me and I blended in the crowd - as much as a 6’3 generic Rihanna can blend.
What advantages are there as a comedian on Maui?
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ISAIAH
“Without the
support of Chino LaForge Comedy Gang, I wouldn’t have gotten into stand-up comedy at all.”
It’s a small community. Because of that, we can make jokes about specific places like the Road to Hana, Costco, the Triangle, and the bars therein. Everybody knows exactly what we’re talking about and can relate to it. We also have a whole subculture of people to make jokes about. Think of the local guys where their shirt says UFC, but their body says KFC, know what I mean?
Disadvantages?
One of the disadvantages to doing comedy on Maui is that a lot of the population have never left the state. Trying to make mainland jokes can fall flat sometimes, and because we have such a melting pot of races, it’s hard to tell who’s a local and who’s visiting. The only way I can really tell is by the new faces that pop up on Grindr, honestly.
Do you get any opportunities to do your comedy in front of a gay crowd?
I rarely perform in front of an all-gay audience, but when I do, my repertoire of jokes increases threefold. That’s one of the things I love about belonging to a whole other subculture. Gay issues and jokes are international, from hookups that lie about… certain things online to trying to find a hookup in Waikiki. Let’s be honest. The only tops in Waikiki are versatile tops and halter tops. But it works in my favor the other way too. Because I’m a gay comedian, I can play that up to mostly straight audiences and show them through jokes and stories that gay people have the same observations and life-experiences that they do.
What was it like, growing up Portagee-Popolo in Maui?
Growing up as a Popolo-mixed kid was interesting. I was dark enough to avoid getting singled out for the most part,
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but I wasn’t the right shade of brown to fit in with all the local cliques.
And coming out?
In the 7th grade. I began experimenting with my best friend who was also gay. We never admitted it and did most of our experimenting under the guise of doing it for science. Really? What kind of foolishness is that? But it worked for us. To say that my mother didn’t know is probably ignorant. The few times she asked me if I was gay, I was so far in the closet that I was having adventures in Narnia. A week before shipping out to basic training, my mom opened the curtain to my room - I didn’t have a door, even though I asked for one every birthday and Christmas. She caught my friend and I in the throes of passion. To her credit, she saw what was going on, looked at us joined nut to butt, and said “Wow, okay, well… finish up here and we’ll have a talk, Isaiah.” This is a few years after she got back into the church, mind you. We somehow mustered the chutzpa
to finish our romp so I could have my tearful coming out moment with my mom.
How did that go?
The one thing that stood out to me was when she said, “Well, I always knew Isaiah. I was waiting for you to tell me.” I was so mad! Why didn’t she just say “Honey, I love and I know you try to hide it. But living with you is like a unicorn beating me in the face with a hot pink butt plug. Let’s just lay that on the table now,” and it would have saved me so much drama!
What about your father?
Coming out to my dad took over a year. I came out to him at 10pm via text message because I had finally gathered the courage to do it. He simply responded with, “You’re still my son and I love you.” Cue waterworks and fade to black.
If you could be any woman...
ISAIAH
My comedic side would pick Whitney Houston, not because I like crack. There’s no graceful way to do crack. Cocaine is much classier. But because I’d be able to cheat, since apparently “she’s every woman.” But if I was to be serious about being any woman for a day, I would be Ronda Rousey. She’s a badass fighter that looks amazing. She’s in the top of her game and she seems like a sweetheart. She’s a great role model for young girls that don’t quite fit in. Tomboys need a role model, and she is that in spades while looking good doing it.
Any man?
That’s a rough question. If any man living or dead, I’d be Freddie Mercury. He was a visionary, an unparalleled artist and the voice of a generation that was forced to hide in the shadows. He was proud, amazingly talented and unapologetic for who he was and more importantly, what he represented. He paved the way for so many more high profile gay men to come out and be counted.
One last thing: Got any bear jokes?
I only have one, but I’m sure you’ve furred it already.
EXP RESSION808.COM - a p r i l 2015 | 27
FAMILY
creating life with your love By: Celia Dominguez, M.D. Pacific In Vitro Fertilization Institute
For so many couples, family building is relatively easy, but for same-sex couples it can be fairly challenging. By definition what is required for making a baby is sperm and egg. In same-sex couples, either sperm or egg is missing! So where to get the missing half for making a baby can be a challenge. For female couples, the options are many and can be as simple as purchasing sperm from a sperm bank and undergoing an insemination (put the sperm into the cervix or uterus) or even “turkey basting” - which is putting sperm in the vagina. Or it can be as complex as reciprocal in vitro fertilization (IVF), where both women are used for reproduction with one donating her eggs (egg donor) and the other carrying the baby (gestational carrier). Success in making a baby is mostly driven by how young the female is that will be inseminated with the donor sperm, or if doing reciprocal IVF, the one that will be donating her eggs. In general, the uterus does not age much, meaning that the carrier, as long as healthy with a good heart and health status, can receive a donor egg. The natural pregnancy rate is highest for
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“It is imperative
to remember that although same-sex couples may need help making a baby, this does not mean that they require extensive or costly help to build their family.”
FAMILY
women in their 20’s, and then slowly declines with a significant decline around age 37, and another large decline in the 40’s. In same-sex couples when no natural sperm exposure occurs, it is difficult to gauge how challenging it might be for a 30-something-year-old woman to get pregnant if she has not been exposed to sperm. So many fertility experts are very careful not to overemphasize age. Important decisionmaking for lesbian couples may include prior pregnancy or non-pregnancy when exposed to sperm, whether a female has regular cycling, whether there is any concern for fallopian tube damage from prior infections like chlamydia or gonorrhea, from pelvic surgery, or ruptured appendix. It is important to know what the risk factors are that can cause infertility in a lesbian couple, and which ones can be successful with a simple insemination with donor sperm. It is imperative to remember that although same-sex couples may need help in making a baby, this in of itself does not mean that they are infertile, or that they require extensive or costly help to build their family. If simple insemination does not work, then possibly more assistance is needed than just insemination with donor sperm. Infertility medications can be used to increase the odds of an egg and sperm joining. This also increases the odds of multiple pregnancies. For some female couples or those desiring reciprocal IVF, then in vitro fertilization may be needed. IVF is when an egg and sperm is fertilized outside the body, and certainly these couples would need a reproductive infertility specialist. For male couples, the process is more complex. An egg from a female, who is called an “egg donor” is needed, as is a uterus to carry the pregnancy, which is called the “gestational carrier” or “surrogate.” IVF is required. The sperm from either one of the men or both can be used to create embryos, which are placed into a surrogate uterus. Working closely with a specialized in vitro team is crucial, and the coordination of obtaining a donor egg and a gestational surrogate recipient should involve the use of a donor agency and surrogacy agency. All of these methods for making babies in samesex couples need to be well considered and coordinated, and thus can be very successful in helping same-sex couples build their family.
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