Unity Health Harris

Grandparents Raising Children

Michelle Foshee is a wife, mother, dog lover, and Newport native who promotes Unity Health Harris Medical Center to improve the quality of health and well-being for the communities we serve through compassionate care. She is a graduate of the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville and prior to joining Unity Health, she worked in sales and marketing in Little Rock. She challenges herself and others to be Health Centered – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Becky Dexter, LPC

“Oh, I’m so tired! It can’t be 5:30 already!” Jennifer stumbled out of bed. “There is a reason that 54 year olds don’t have babies.” The 18 month old had been up several times that night. The 10 year old took forever to fall asleep, and the 9 year old woke up with nightmares. “Come on Jennifer…..you aren’t that old”! And then the inevitable thoughts of “where did I go wrong”, and “I thought my daughter was doing good”. Brittany was an honor student. She had dreams of being a nurse. He seemed like a nice guy at first. But he got her addicted, and that was it.

The 10 year old was dropped off by her daughter with “mom can you just keep him for the weekend?” The 9 year old came to live with her after her daughter ended up in jail; he went into DHS custody, and she had to fight to get him. She thought that was it. The kids were finally older. No more diapers. Both in school. She knew that her daughter had had another baby. She thought she was finally with a good man. She thought her daughter was doing good. But then out of the blue DHS called her and told her that her daughter was in jail again, and that if she didn’t take her granddaughter then she would go into foster care. What do you say to that?? You say I’m coming, and you will figure it out later.

She loves her grandchildren deeply. But she never thought she would be doing this again. She raised her children already. Her son has 2 kids of his own, and she is “grandma” to them, but “mom” to her other grandchildren. She thought that she would be grandma to everyone. Get them for a day or two. Spoil them. Send them home. She never expected to have to do homework, chores, bedtime, rules, and consequences again. And raising a kid is different now. “This isn’t the same world I raised my kids in!” with changes such as the internet, social media, and virtual school.

Jennifer is one of many grandparents raising grandchildren. Many children are also being raised by an aunt or uncle, great-aunt or uncle, older sibling, or even a great-grandparent.

According to Census.gov “The percentage of the population age 30 and over who are raising grandchildren is higher in states that have higher opioid prescribing rates, according to a new working paper, entitled “The Opioid Prescribing Rate and Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: State and County Level Analysis.

This research uses both survey estimates from the 2012-2016 American Community Survey five-year data and administrative 2016 Opioid Prescribing Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Four states — Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana and Mississippi — have among the highest rates on both measures – opioid prescribing and adults age 30 and over raising grandchildren -- while Minnesota has one of the lowest.”

Ways WE can support Grandparents raising grandkids:

Offer a listening ear. Sometimes there isn’t much to say. DON’T OFFER ADVICE UNLESS SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR. Just listen.

Offer to bring food or give a gift card. Offer to help practically by babysitting their grandkids so that the grandparent or grandparents can go out by themselves or ask to come over and entertain the kids so that they can do things that they need to around the house. Have clothes and supplies that your own kids and grandkids have outgrown or don’t need anymore? See if they need them!

Don’t forget them. Grandparents raising grandchildren are caught in a world where they are much older than the parents of their grandkids’ friends. They don’t get invited with the younger parents. They also might not get invited to the events they would usually go to with people their own age since they have young kids. Invite them to things. Ask about the kids. Don’t assume that they don’t want to do things because of the kids. N

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