Eyrie 2016 by Eyrie Publications-EMCC

The

Eyrie

2016

Literary / Arts Journal

Eastern Maine Community College

The

Eyrie 2016

Literary / Trades Journal

The Eyrie is a literary/arts journal published by Eastern Maine Community College to showcase student work. This issue highlights exceptional writers and artists from across the campus.

Faculty Advisors

Amanda Bales, John Ianelli, Heather Magee

Cover Design

J’Hannah Glencross-MacGregor

Design

Kristin Hanson Tori Grindel Moe Aung Shelby Boggs Jayson Dorr Tyler Dunifer J’Hanna Glencross-MacGregor Tyler Gordon

Creed Errickson Katlyn Lemay Asia Lewis Alysia Ricker Brianna Sickles Seth Spiller Kate Lavoie

DGD 231 Printing and Publishing

2 Table of Contents

Contents

Creative Nonfiction

They Come Just As They Go.....4

Critical Essays

Electroconvulsive Therapy.....10

Personal Essays

My fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s passing.....18 Signs of a Mental Breakdown.....25

Poetry

He.....34 Morning Coffee.....35 The Bina.....36

Culinary

Aimee Sargent.....38 Marilou Ranta.....39 Rebecca Pellotte.....40

Wedding Cakes

Wedding Cake Class Photo.....42 Marilou Ranta.....43 Aimee Sargent.....44 Rebecca Pelotte.....45 Carrie Shorette.....46

Design

2 Design Self Portrait.....48 GraffitiDebi.....49 Tango Museum.....50

Photography

Roman Candle.....52 Winter Park.....53 Overpass Lights.....54

Illustration

Orange Roughee.....56 Popeye Beer.....57 Maineopoly.....58

Photoshop

Phillip Seymour Hoffman.....60 Chris Pine Portrait.....61 Story Land.....62 Old Man Winter.....63

Creative Nonfiction

4 Creative Nonfiction

They Come Just As They Go J’Hannah Glencross “Welcome to Vacationland, the way life should be,” is a slogan that lures strangers from afar to this northern state of New England, to explore the great outdoors, the rugged coastline and what Maine has to offer. The season for a coastal-tourist-town is short lived; it begins early May and ends late October. The town thrives and makes it’s livelihood off these tourists. The peaks of the season come in waves. The spring breathes life back into the village; the shops open their doors and the streets fill. They come by road and by sea, in cars and tour buses, on boats and cruise ships. The official kickoff begins the Fourth of July and continues straight on through till Labor Day weekend. Autumn dawns the season of the leaf peepers, the newlyweds, and the nearly dead; harvest season begins, and the cruise ships come to port almost every day,

two by two or three.

Creative Nonfiction 5

All season long they come on their own adventures, with hopes of catching a glimpse of a moose or a whale, maybe to go hiking and biking, or to shop the streets of an old coastal town. Whatever their adventures may be, all these vacationers will soon grow hungry. *** At some tables you can’t even get the words, “Good Morning” out of your mouth, and the transient diner barks for coffee. In the restaurant business, you just smile and go fetch- but let it be known servers are more than just vehicles to the nectar of the bean. There are two creatures of the dining world: “I want two eggs, and toast.” The woman confirms. These are the kind you must pry for information. Then there are the others: “I want coffee black, and my wife’s with cream and sugar. She will have blueberry pancakes, real maple syrup and bacon well done. I, a spinach and goat cheese omelet, wheat toast dry, home fries crispy. Also we are on your bus tour of the park, and we need to board in thirty minutes.” Meanwhile your standing there with one pot regular and one decaf and all you asked was, “Would ya like coffee?” Transient diners also think that you are their tour guide, as well as their server. They, too, will pry you for information, and lots of it. They want to know, “Where is the closest Starbucks?”

6 Creative Nonfiction

“Sixty miles inland.” (You came to Maine to go to Starbucks? I

think to myself.) “Inland? We’re on an island?” “Do you remember the bridge with the water on both sides?” They want to know why they can’t check their email on their super-duper phones. “Don’t tell me you don’t have a 3G network?” “A 3 G, what? Welcome to Maine!” I say with a smile. This happens all among the clamoring and clanging of dishes, and those damned coffee cups half empty begging to be warmed. The plates grow hotter the longer they sit there dying in the window and then there is Andy, cussing behind the line at all the orders that came in all at once. When breakfast is all said and done, the upstairs dining room opens for lunch. They sit in the dining room and answer their cell phones and yell into the receiver, telling how they spent their day in Arcadia as they look over the menu (when in fact they are in Acadia, on the other side of the country.) They see we offer a “Taste of Maine” special: a boiled lobster dinner. They want to know. “Well can’t I just have the tail?” “You’re in Maine ma’am, it’s a pound and a quarter lobster, shell and all!” “I have to pick it myself?” Some say with disgust. “We offer a lazy man’s lobster, fresh picked lobster meat sautéed in

butter or white wine” (for an up-charge.)

Creative Nonfiction 7

The view of Frenchmen’s Bay can be seen through the dining room windows; the sand bar exposed at low tide, the Porcupine Islands, and the boats bobbing along in the water. They then want to know: “What’s the name of the lake out there?” My answer, “The Atlantic.” Then they want to know, “How do they get all those boats to park in the same direction?” “Harbor Master Charlie, he does valet parkin’.” Interactions with the transient diners like this continue relentlessly throughout the day. The turning and burning of tables, passing dialogue, filled with questions on each side, repeated questions and repeated answers, and inflection in tone as patience thins- either mine or theirs. The kitchen doors swing open once more, rushing around through all the chatter, the checks that need printing, the printer that needs paper, the voids, the separate checks, and the ten percenters. And just when you think you’ve given your all; the directions you gave, the full “Taste of Maine” you just served them, the big smile and the flashy eyes. You discover that your comments didn’t get you as far as expected. No, still they want more from you; they will pry you for personal information, like those old biddies bugging about babies. After clearing the plates and presenting the check, they want to know, “What you do in the winter?”

8 Creative Nonfiction

“Hibernate, and wait for spring.”

*** The season for a coastal tourist town is short lived; autumn exhales the life out of the town. The shops board up their fronts for winter, and the streets empty. The leaf peepers, the newlyweds and the nearly dead have all gone back to where they came from, more or less. They have explored this great northern state of New England and what it has to offer with its great outdoors and rugged coastline. The peaks of the season come in waves and the harvest is over. That’s just the thing about Vacationland and the way life should be: They go just as they came.

Critical Essays

10 Critical Essays

Electroconvulsive Therapy Jaslynn Maddocks Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) also referred to as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Electroshock Therapyâ&#x20AC;? by some, has been a treatment for psychological disorders such as severe depression, bi-polar, and schizophrenia for several decades. It is a common last-resort and legal treatment used within multiple countries including the United States. On one hand, several psychiatrists and medical establishments view ECT as a safe and quickly effective treatment of psychological disorders, despite its partial approval by society. On the other hand, society members and a fraction of those treated by ECT view it from a negative perspective that is supported by the side-effects caused. In addition the knowledge of how ECT works within the brain is inconclusive. My own view of this treatment option is that the potential physical, cognitive, and emotional harm occurring from Electroconvulsive Therapy outweighs its short-lived effectiveness, in which continuing and adjusting prior treatment (psychotherapy and biomedical) would be more productive. During the treatment of Electroconvulsive Therapy, controlled electricity is charged through the brain which causes a seizure; during this seizure, the chemistry of the brain changes and resolves symptoms of depression (and other psychological disorders). Several doctors and institutions, including the National Institute of Mental Health1 suggest

1 National Institute of Mental Health: a federally run agency for research on mental disorders (nimh.nih.gov)

Critical Essays 11

ECT as an effective treatment option for mental disorders. However, the

National Institute of Mental Health also declares that “scientists are unsure how the treatment works to relieve depression, but it appears to produce many changes in the chemistry and functioning of the brain” (NIMH, 2015). Although it has become common today to use treatments and dismiss knowing how they work or how effective they are, several medical options such as spinal fusion, have had the length of their effectiveness questioned. In addition, other medical options have also been the topic of inconclusive studies, regardless of their implied effectiveness, and are being less administered among common medical practice. Many supporters of Electroconvulsive Therapy would say that society’s view of ECT is susceptibly negative due to its history in addition to an inaccurate image among the cinematic industry whereas it is portrayed as frightening and harmful. In 2009, several films including but not limited to: One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Child’s Play, and House on Haunted Hill, were reviewed by Andrew McDonald and Garry Walter of the International Review of Psychiatry. McDonald and Walter declared that “Filmgoers with no personal or professional exposure to the treatment may fail to make the distinction between the demands of film narrative and clinical reality” (McDonald, 200). When it comes to the topic of the cinematic industry, most of us will readily agree that media has been known to bias history, religion, politics, medicine, and society if the viewer has no prior knowledge of the topics. In general an agreement can also be made

12 Critical Essays

that most films have a story line and what is viewed reflects the point of the story. However, qualitative studies have shown patient perceptions of the effects after their ECT treatments. In 2013, a recent study was completed by Maede Ejaredar and Brad Hagan which explored how several women felt before and after their ECT treatments. The study found that although these woman were administered Modified Electroconvulsive Therapy2, “several participants spoke of the fear, embarrassment, and/or stigma they associated with ECT” (Ejaredar, 150). These findings suggest that although the media portrays Electroconvulsive Therapy more dramatically than what is viewed during today’s treatment, the perspective of actual patient’s experiences determine ultimately that negative feelings were the result from this treatment, even with current modifications. Among the list of known side-effects associated with Electroconvulsive Therapy is memory loss, also known as retrograde3 or anterograde4 amnesia. Implied with this side effect is the perception that it is only temporary and “is resolved within one to three weeks” (Smith, 555). Interestingly enough retrograde and anterograde amnesia are listed as a known side-effects and it is implied that they will improve after a short amount of time; however, there have been very few studies to conclude 2 Modified Electroconvulsive Therapy is an updated version of Electroconvulsive Therapy in which it includes the use of muscle relaxants and anesthesia to prevent physical injuries when the seizure is induced to the patient. 3

Retrograde: not being able to develop new memories after treatment.

Anterograde: not being able to remember memories from before treatment.

Critical Essays 13

whether the memory loss does resolve after a specific time period. Experts also say that the measurement of memory (or loss of) is just as hard to

measure as pain. In 2013, the study completed by Maede Ejaredar and Brad Hagen also found that seven of nine women voiced that autobiographical memory loss occurred, in addition they “were not able to remember their children growing up, their educational history, family members’ deaths, or special vacations and trips,” even to the day of the study (Ejaredar, 147-149). These results are concerning as the time frame associated between the patient’s last ECT and the qualitative study ranged from 2 days to a massive 22 years prior to the day they spoke of their experience with their treatment. To lose so much autobiographical memory with no supportive reassurance of when the memories will be recovered, while still unable to recover them after numerous years, is just one reason why Electroconvulsive Therapy is less than appealing. In addition to the topic of side-effects caused from and during Electroconvulsive Therapy, most will read that there are no heart problems that occur, other than a possible increase of the patient’s blood pressure and heart rate. Common sense seems to dictate that along with other medical treatments, the risk factors with treatments are determined so that the patient’s safety is taken into account. Although people are urged to trust doctors, common knowledge might suggest that an increase in blood pressure and/or heart rate could cause distress after numerous treatments of ECT. In 2015, an observational study presented in the Journal

14 Critical Essays

of Anesthesiology Clinical Pharmacology also determined risk factors associated with patients being administered ECT. Within this observational study the patients were given Modified-Electroconvulsive Therapy and 93 of 316 patients’ endured oxygen de-saturation at some level. One implication of this study concerning ECT is that “oxygen desaturation together with ECT-induced autonomic changes may increase the myocardial oxygen demand and compromise the normal cardiac function.” (Surve, 99). With that said, although the side-effects of increasing blood pressure and heart rate is known during the treatment, there have been few studies completed on the effect of oxygen desaturation which can potentially cause heart problems or neurological problems in the future, as both the heart and brain need sufficient oxygen. Additional studies would be beneficial to preventing this potential harm to a patient through the use of Electroconvulsive Therapy. Experts say that Electroconvulsive Therapy’s effectiveness can be potentially seen as early as one day post treatment, or at least after a few weeks of multiple treatments—it is also said to continue to be effective for an undesignated amount of time. Although effectiveness is implied (regardless of its time span), the need for Maintenance Electroconvulsive Therapy5 is also suggested for the symptoms to continue to be resolved. Viewed from patient’s perspectives again, according to Maede Ejaredar and Brad Hagen’s study ECT’s effectiveness lasted only two to four weeks 5 Maintenance Electroconvulsive Therapy: additional treatments of Electroconvulsive Therapy

Critical Essays 15

for several patients (Ejaredar, 147-149). In retrospect, “the results of

psychotherapy tend to last longer and be less likely to require additional treatment courses…” (Hollon 57, 285-315). This being said, psychotherapy methods of treatment may not be as quickly effective however, they do not have as many side-effects that ECT patients have experienced. Even though ECT is sought as a last resort to be used in combination with the continuation of psychotherapy, the suggestion to continue psychotherapy seems to diminish the reasoning for Electroconvulsive Therapy being used as additional treatment in the first place. If future studies were to include the effects of the seizures applied to the brain by Electroconvulsive Therapy, in combination with consistent relief concerning oxygen de-saturation, than the use of ECT may not be viewed as potentially harmful. Also, if future adjustments are made to ECT than the side-effects it causes may not occur as frequently. However, at this time my view on the use of ECT as treatment for psychological disorders remains unchanged. With the inclusion of oxygen de-saturation, retrograde and anterograde amnesia, these potential physical, cognitive, and emotional side-effects caused by Electroconvulsive Therapy support that this treatment option is an avoidable last resort, and ultimately have not proved it unquestionably effective.

16 Critical Essays Works Cited Ejaredar, Maede. Hagan, Brad. “All I have is a void: Women’s Perceptions of the Benefits and Side Effects of ECT.” International Journal of Risk & Safety in Medicine 25.3 (2013): 145-154. Environment Complete. Web. 16 Nov. 2016. Hollon, S.D. Stewart, M.O. Strunk, D. “Enduring effects for cognitive behavior therapy in the treatment of depression and anxiety.” Annual Review of Psychology (2006): 57, 285-315. McDonald, Andrew. Walter, Garry. “Hollywood and ECT.” International Review of Psychiatry 21.3 (2009): 200-206. Academic Search Complete. Web. 17 Nov. 2015. NIMH: National Institute of Mental Health. “Brain Stimulation Therapies”. nimh.nih.gov. Web. 26 Nov. 2015 Smith, Marilyn, et al. “Electroconvulsive Therapy: The struggles in the Decision-making Process and the Aftermath of Treatment.” Issues in Mental Health Nursing 30.9 (2009): 554-559. Academic Search Complete. Web. 16 Nov. 2015. Surve, Rohini, et al. “Incidence and Risk Factors for Oxygen Desaturation during Recovery from Modified Electroconvulsive Therapy: A Prospective Observational Study.” Journal of Anesthesiology Clinical Pharmacology 31.1 (2015): 99-103. Academic Search Complete. Web. 16 Nov. 2015.

Personal Essays

18 Personal Essays

My father’s passing By Dean L Libby I consider myself very fortunate to have had my Dad for 52 years of my life. He passed away at the age of 72 years and had courageously battled two major chronic diseases for the last 20 years of his life. My father’s strength both mentally and physically were never stronger than what I saw in his last years of life. My father passed away November 6th, 2014 and I have had time to reflect on his life and what his passing means to me. His death has affected me in numerous ways, and there are three major concerns I’m trying to reconcile, as I adjust to his absence in my life. With Dad’s passing I’m concerned, how it has changed my relationship with my mother, how I’m going to deal with the sorrow that his death is causing me, and the fear the very health issues that plagued him could be inherited by me. Unexpectedly, Dad’s passing has affected my relationship with my Mom. Mom and Dad had been married for 53 years and the loss has created, a painful reality she must face with every new day. Mom is fortunate she has me, plus three other siblings, and four grandchildren who live in close proximity and can frequently check in on her, provide any labor needed to help her maintain her home, take her shopping, keep her doctor appointments, and visit as much as we all can. I’m concerned about her when the lights go out for the evening and she is alone. She has

Personal Essays 19

her dog, Bud who is a great companion, but is no replacement for Dad not being there. My job consist of a lot of overtime, nights, weekends and can keep me from visiting her as often as I would like. I try to call her at least twice a week in the evenings when I am at work. I’m not good at carrying a conversation on the phone, but with one exception, I enjoyed talking to Dad. When I called Dad, Mom would always listen in on the other line, it was almost always a three-way call. Dad and I had many topics we could

easily carry conversations about, the paper mill where I work and he retired from, sports, especially the New England Patriots, politics, news and any local gossip around town. Mom wouldn’t say much, but only to make a few brief comments. Dad and I debating an issue, for the most part was light hearted and humorous. Through my wife I learned that Mom enjoyed our phone calls .She had confided in my wife how much she enjoyed me calling. Since Dad’s passing I’m have a hard time talking to my mother on the phone, they are usually short calls, we just don’t have much in common to talk about. Talking on the phone just isn’t the same without Dad. This had been bothering me and was causing concern on how I could better communicate with her. I finally came up with a solution this summer that worked great. It allowed us to spend quality time together, engage in a healthy conversation, and enjoy laughter that had been missing since Dad’s passing. My wife and I bought a Jeep Wrangler that we use as a recreational vehicle. We take the T- tops out and use it like a motorcycle, driving it on days the weather is good, and park it in the garage when it

20 Personal Essays

rains. I remembered Mom was excited about the wife and I’s purchase of the Jeep and she had commented on how sharp looking it was. It dawned on me, I need to ask her if she would like to go for a Jeep ride. Her reply was an enthusiastic yes! The weather was a perfect summer day, warm and sunny with a beautiful blue sky. We rode around town with the open T-top, taking in the warmth of the sun and the sweet smell of the many rose bushes in bloom. We reminisced as we drove, recounting many good memories, and made observations of the changes that had occurred to our home town over the years. She enjoyed the open air ride and it was exciting for her. I couldn’t have been more pleased. We had several Jeep rides this summer. I now need to come up with a plan for colder weather, and feel confident I will be able work something out. The loss of my father has given me a feeling of sadness and sorrow. I miss the phone conservations we used to have. The NFL football season has been particularly difficult for me this year. Whenever I had time off from work, I always went over to Dad’s to watch the New England Patriots. This always included Mom and like my phone calls it was a time of socializing with the both of them. She got a big kick out of our reaction on a play that didn’t go our way, bad calls by the ref’s and our being sofa riding head coaches, all while she cooked Sunday dinner for us. When the Patriots won the Super Bowl this past February I thought of Dad and how much I missed him. How pleased he would have been with this Super Bowl victory, especially with how they won, with a goal line interception.

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There are times without thinking I start to reach for the phone to call

him and stop. The words in my mind reminding me heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not there. Even good habits are hard to break. I could talk to Dad about the paper mill, he worked there for 41 years, and he understood the problems we were facing before shutting down. I could vent my frustration, and confide in him about the stress of working there. He understood, I miss that and have nobody to share that with now. His advice, humor, and love I miss it so much, it is an ache that will probably never go away. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m fortunate to have had so many good years with him and have had so many good memories. I watched Dadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health slowly decline for the last 20 years and I am very concerned the same things could happen to me. Dad fought type II diabetes for over 30 years. He was able to control it early on with diet and exercise. A cruel thing that happens to diabetics is the wide spread damage it inflicts on arteries, veins, kidneys, nerves and the retinas in your eyes. Dad suffered with chronic disease in all of these parts of his body. He suffered with nerve damage to his feet and lower legs that left no feeling in his lower extremities and caused many hospitalizations for infection in his feet and toes. Diabetes can also be an inherited trait, and with him having contracted it, I am very concerned the same fate is in the cards for me. Diabetes for Dad was a slowly progressing and very damaging disease. As he struggled with this disease, it also was slowly destroying his kidneys. When he retired from work he had a full time job managing his health care, with dialysis three times a week and doctor appointments.

22 Personal Essays

He had specialist for his feet, eyes, vascular system, and kidneys. He took over thirty thousand dollars in prescription drugs a year. With all of his health problems he never complained. It amazed me on how he handled dialysis three times a week. I used to take him on snowy days and he went with the same group of people three times a week. His dialysis nurses and patients were a close knit group and he became close to them. He told me once there wasn’t any reason to bitch about it, because it wasn’t an option, if he wanted to live he had to go! As these chronic diseases go on longer the damage starts to add up. Numerous stays in hospital for foot infections. He eventually lost all of his toes. Again no complaints from him it had to be done to stay alive. Then he had problems with his eyes, bleeding in his retinas, caused by diabetes. The treatment for his eyes were regular shots in his eyes! Again he handled it without complaint. Eventually his circulation got so bad he lost his left leg below the knee because of infection. After the amputation he was hospitalized for rehabilitation, so he could learn, to use crutches and transfer himself into and out of a wheel chair. Once he proved he could get around on his own and do the wheel chair transfers he could be released from the hospital. I vividly remember, a nurse asking him if he was depressed about losing his leg. His reply was “No I told them to cut the goddamn thing off”. Again it was what had to be done, he had made the decision with information provided to him by his doctors. He always had trust in his doctors and from there advice he would make informed decisions about his healthcare. The only time he would get upset were long

Personal Essays 23

stays in the hospital. He wanted to be home and he worked hard to get the strength up so he could do his wheel chair transfers. Dad was a fighter.

After watching him, go thru all of the medical procedures he did, I am very afraid of diabetes. I see my doctor regularly to keep an eye on my blood sugar and am concerned about coming down with this horrible disease. I’m now realizing, by Dad’s example that I have to move forward and work through the problems I’m facing with his death. My father was a wonderful family man who loved his wife and children to the end. Dad was a man who took pride in his family and his work as a papermaker for over forty years. I have learned from him, when dealing with decisions in life, to be informed and move forward as best you can. Going forward I will be able to look out for my Mom and work out the communication gap we have. I will learn how to relate to Mom without Dad. It’s been a big change for Mom and me, but we will figure it out. I also must address the loss of my father on a personal level. It is a big empty feeling with him gone but again there is no choice but to move on. Dad told me a couple of months before he passed that he had had a good life and wouldn’t have wanted to change a thing. I need to remember this when I reminisce about his life, and move forward with healing. I am also watching my health closer to try and avoid the health problems he had to deal with. His courage and the ownership he took in his health care was remarkable, he beat the odds of living past 70 with his health issues. From him I have learned, I must look out for my health, deal with any health issues one step at a time, and listen

24 Personal Essays

to medical advice given by doctors to make informed decisions. I will have to search my soul very deeply to find the courage he showed while fighting his medical problems. I am afraid of diabetes and the complications but if circumstances lead me there, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve learned from Dad how to move forward.

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Signs of a Mental Breakdown Jherad Welch I noticed signs that my mother might need to get help with her mental illness. At first, there were subtle signs that she needed to get professional help that people who didn’t know her well might not notice. Later, the signs were getting undeniably worse and anyone could see these signs. When I brought her into the mental hospital, the staff there could see very obvious signs that she needed to be admitted for treatment. Signs can be physical things like a no-smoking, or a stop sign, other times they are interpretations of things that are going on around you, at times disputable and others times undeniable. Here are the signs that my mother needed to get professional help with her mental health. The signs that my mom was starting to have a schizophrenic episode were subtle at first, and may have been missed by people who didn’t know her very well. My mother is, for the most part, like any other mother. She worries about her children’s wellbeing, she makes sure I wear my jacket when it’s cold and tells me to eat right. But, unlike other mothers, my mother suffers from schizophrenia. She can go years without any incident; but, when she does start showing signs that her mind is slipping, I pay attention. The first sign that something was off was that she was very energetic and excited on the phone. It doesn’t sound like much, but, unfortunately from experience, I can tell from the tone of her voice

26 Personal Essays

that this is a different type of excitement. Her behavior was just a little over the top, similar to a child’s excitement and enthusiasm. I needed to keep a watchful eye on her because her mental wellbeing wasn’t in tiptop shape. When my wife and I went to visit, my fears were becoming validated. Her house was a mess and things were very out of place. Dirty dishes were everywhere. Her laundry was everywhere. This was not normal behavior for my mother. Her couch bed was pulled out. I thought that she had intended to in sleep the coach bed since her regular bed was covered with clothes. But the fold away bed was covered with stuff as well, and not with pillows and blankets, but with lots of clothing and boxes. My mother broke her foot at a Billy Idol concert a few months ago and was having trouble getting around. My wife and I went over to help her clean, but we weren’t expecting this kind of mess. I asked why she had all this stuff everywhere. She told me she was moving. But she was not moving. We cleaned up her house; it was time to say our goodbyes. Before we left, she had us hold hands in a circle and pray with her. Mom demanded that we switch places in the circle a few times till we were standing in, what she thought was just the right place. Her prayer consisted of, “We pray for all the little creatures of the world, and the safety of our family,” and then it got weird, “and we pray that no one hurts the animals, and that no little children get raped, and for the people who have died, those who are going to die, and those who never will die.” It was clear to me that she needed some medical attention and soon. Some people are very energetic, don’t

Personal Essays 27

keep a tidy home, and say strange prayers. These subtle signs could be

normal behavior for some people, and not signs that they were mentally ill. These were the subtle signs to me that this will soon become to a full blown schizophrenic episode. I had to keep checking on her. I hoped that she would snap back to normal, but expected that this behavior would escalate to be much worse. It didn’t take very long for these subtle signs to become undeniable ones, telling me that going to the hospital was in my mother’s best interest. Convincing my mother she needed help wan’t an easy task. I had my wife drop me off at my mother’s house right before our kids got out of school. My wife picked up our kids and brought mother’s house so we could avoid our kids seeing my mom in this state. When I arrived at my mom’s apartment complex, my mother was outside smoking with her neighbors. She wasn’t making sense, saying some of the strangest most off the wall things. She tried to introduce me to my “real” father. But this man was about my age, was one of her neighbors that she had just met a couple years prior, and DNA testing had already told me years ago who my father was (within 99.9% accuracy) and it wasn’t this guy she was introducing me to (unless he was that 0.1%). Her neighbors knew she was behaving strangely. Then out of nowhere she slapped her friend Susy. Everyone outside in the smoking area was shocked. It took a while for my mother to realize what she had done and she couldn’t explain why she had hit her. In fact she was angry that everyone was upset that she had done it.

28 Personal Essays

Saying â&#x20AC;&#x153;You think that hurt. My mother used to beat me with her high heels.â&#x20AC;? I explained to her friend that my mom was probably off her meds and I was trying to bring her in to the hospital to get help. Susy was very understanding and had noticed that my mom had been acting strangely for a few days. Mom definitely needed to go to the hospital immediately. I told my mother that we needed to go to Acadia, a local mental hospital, and have her meds adjusted. At first she said angrily she didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need to go and she felt fine. I reminded her that she had just slapped her neighbor and asked her if that was something she would have normally done. At that moment she became sad and she realized that she was acting out of character and agreed to go into the hospital. That moment of clarity was short lived. She again got angry and started to shove me, then stopped and asked me if I was Jesus. I explained that I was her son and not Jesus. It was so sad to see my mother in such a state of confusion and it was a crazy roller coaster ride of emotional ups and downs. I told my mom that we needed to go inside her house and wait for Jenny, my wife, to return to give us a ride to the hospital. Inside, her house it was in even more disarray than it had been a few days prior. Clothes where everywhere again. Her couch bed was pulled out and covered with pots and pans this time. Her painting supplies, including her easel, were even in her bathtub. Strangely, inside her oven contained lots of clothes hangers. My wife and I had just cleaned her house a few days before, and it was much worse now. I removed the hangers from the oven, replacing them with the pots and pans

Personal Essays 29

that had been on her fold away bed. I sat with her on her couch bed. She had paranoid thoughts that she shared with me, thinking that I was trying to have her put away forever and that I just wanted to take all her stuff. Her eyes were full of fear, and an almost childlike innocence. I held my mother in an embrace to try and comfort her. I explained that everything was going to be fine, and I wanted her to get help because I loved her. I

reminded her that she had been an inpatient in Acadia before and that it was temporary, it wasn’t a prison, and I wasn’t having her put away forever. Her emotions where everywhere. She would go from very angry, to scared, to happy and singing in an instant. I felt very bad for her, and understood she was very scared. It’s so strange how a person’s mind can change so drastically. After my wife dropped off our children at her mother’s house, she returned to give my mother and myself a ride to Acadia. My mother decided it was for the best that she go and get help. She stopped resisting and accepted it. She told me to take care of her dog and cat, and that if I killed them she would never talk to me again. I assured her I would take care of them and we all walked to the car. My mom asked if she could drive. We emphatically told her no. Then we left for the hospital. I finally convinced my mother to get medical attention and even she could see the signs that she wasn’t acting normally. Now it was time for the hospital staff to see these signs. I was surprised and relieved that my mother decided to go to the hospital so willingly. In the past, it had been much more of a struggle I had had to call the police to get her

30 Personal Essays

to go there. Upon arriving, the receptionist asked why we were there. My mother cunningly replied, “I’m here to get these two adult children some psychiatric help.” My wife and I looked at each other shocked and explained to the receptionist that we here to get my mother some help. Eventually the staff came downstairs to evaluate her mental state. My mother started out by answering their questions. She knew what day of the week it was and who the current president was. She told them her reason for coming in was that she wanted to quit smoking and hoped that they could help her find a man. Also, she said she was there because I wouldn’t make cupcakes with her. She told the staff she was a vegetarian, which she had never been before. She soon became frustrated with the questioning and expressed this by pantomiming locking her lips shut and then throwing away the imaginary key. She remained silent for quite a while and stared blankly refusing to answer any more questions. She walked from one side of the waiting room to the other, sitting briefly in chairs on each side before returning to the other side, still refusing to talk. It was clear to the staff that she needed to be admitted and it was time to sign papers to allow for treatment, but she refused. At least she started talking again, even if it was saying that she wasn’t signing any papers. It was quite the struggle to get her to sign the papers. She used her phone and called my sisters to ask their advice about signing these papers, and they told her it was ok and to do it. After about an hour, she agreed to sign the releases. She gripped the pen with both hands and signed her name with exaggerated

Personal Essays 31 movements. Even the way she signed the papers were clear signs that she needed treatment. She wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sign the last paper. She told the doctor that she would not get naked in front of him and that she knew what he wanted to do to her. It was clear what she was insinuating. This was coming from a 66 year old frail grandmother. The doctor had a lot of patience with her behavior and explained calmly that they only wanted her to be happy and healthy. The amount of distress she had over consenting to treatment had gotten her blue papered, or admitted against her will. There were clear signs that my mother needed to get medical help. It was at times amusing and other times frightening. Having a mental illness is not something that someone chooses, and it can be a challenge to overcome. The subtle signs led to more undeniable ones, until it was clear to the hospital she needed help. While in the hospital my mother had decided to change her name to Rainbow from Debi, because Debi reminded her of her mother. So the hospital put her on new medication and got her back to near normal, at least not being delusional. My mother is now out of the hospital and probably was quite embarrassed to go back home and see her friends, but they understand that she literally was out of her mind at the time (though she still wants to be called Rainbow). Hopefully, I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have any signs that she is going to have to go back to Acadia for a very long time.

Poetry 33

Poetry

34 Poetry

He By: Callaghan Carter You didn’t leave a trail. You said you were going to leave. Going to leave this small little town behind, Yet I never thought you would leaveLeave this small little girl behind too. I walked the streets looking for you. The tall figure in the trees that once over towered me. Wherever you are I hope you find peace of mind. I hope you sit on the beach and watch the seagulls, And the ocean meet each other. Watch the sun and the moon great each other with a kiss. I hope you give your mind and soul a break, and just live. Sit in an old coffee shop and drink black coffee Like we used to. You were at such ease then. But maybe you weren’t. Maybe that’s why you left. And that’s okay. It’s okay to leave, And leave no trail behind. I just wish you said goodbye. So here is mine.

Poetry 35

Morning Coffee By: Erica Engen A cup of black coffee vulnerable, I am bare. Indulge in my aroma, flavor me to your delight. Sip off my lips, and feel my warmth as I inch down your throat. Lost in the euphoria of, of our morning. I am yours.

36 Poetry

The Bina By: Erica Engen The rising sun peaked from the salted horizon. Ocean air eating away at the metal, corroding. Vermillion rust covered crutch, Uncleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prosthetic stood virgin untouched, it danced with the waves. Uncle knows no handicap safely embodied in her wooden ribs, they sail.

Culinary

38 Culinary

Aimee Sargent

Chicken and waffles, it was topped with wilted greens and bacon, served with a spicy maple syrup.

Culinary 39

Marilou Ranta

Grilled chicken, rice cake, sauteed snowpeas and pickled spaghetti carrots.

40 Culinary

Rebecca Pellotte

Rice crispy and cheese crusted chicken with homemade potatoe chips a mushroom melody and a spicy honey sauce.

Wedding Cakes

42 Wedding Cakes

Wedding Cake Class Photo

From left to right Back Row :Nicholas Niles and Matthew Clayton Second Row: Marilou Ranta, Shelby London, Rebecca Pelotte, Aimee Sargent, Carrie Shorette, and Leah Maxwell Front Row: AnnMarie Hannon, Chef Nathan Scott

Wedding Cakes 43

Marilou Ranta

44 Wedding Cakes

Aimee Sargent

Wedding Cakes 45

Rebecca Pelotte

46 Wedding Cakes

Carrie Shorette

Design

48 Design

2 Design Self Portrait Dan Tracy

I was instructed to make a black and white portrait of myself with the option of it being slightly abstract. I decided to go full abstract by drawing circular lines first then adding details. The work went from being chaotic to more ordered and neat. I used a senior high school picture of myself with a Mohawk for inspiration and drew a current version of myself in the center.

Design 49

GraffitiDebi Debbra Florey

Using a graffiti style, give the letters of your name the illusion of 3 dimensional letters. Use the elements of design and color, texture, line, and shape. Medium - watercolors, acrylic and colored pencils.

50 Design

Tango Museum Amy Wilkins

For this ART 112, 2D Design assignment, we had to create a dynamic poster design for an International Tango Museaum exhibit. I used Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator. I selected dancers that were in the middle of a dance and placed them in front of a practicing Tango band to imply motion.

Photography

52 Photography

Roman Candle By Daniel Tracey

For this assignment we were supposed to get used to shooting at night and work with adjusting the light settings/contrast. I decided to have my Father light off a roman candle in a bottle while I snapped some pictures. It took a couple tries but this one came out the most clairvoyant.

Photography 53

Winter Park By Lauren Woods

Photographed at Acadia National Park

54 Photography

Overpass Lights By Amy Wilkins

I stood on an overpass overlooking I-95, and used a slow shutter speed setting on my camera to capture the lights of cars passing by.

Illustration

56 Illustration

Dan Tracy

Orange Roughee Dan Tracy

For this assignment, we were instructed to make a fish in the program Adobe Illustrator. We were supposed to make use of layers, graphic styles, and make use of colors. I used different effects such as glowing edges, hues, and drop shadows around the fish while making it my own.

Illustration 57

Popeye Beer Amy Wilkins

For this DGD 120, Digital Illustration assignment, I used Adobe Illustrator to create a label and bottle for â&#x20AC;&#x153;Popeye Beerâ&#x20AC;?. I used the 3D revolve function to create the bottle and after making the labels, mapped the label graphics to the bottle.

58 Illustration

Auburn

IL JA TO

Portland Saco

$300

Brewer

Bangor

Water

$220

Old Town $120

$100

? Chance

Maine

Belfast

Central

$100

$200

COMMUNITY

STATE

INCOME TAX 10% or $200

Jackman

Greenville $80

CHEST

$60

$320 $350

T EC 0

$400

Seal Harbor

Skowhegan

$140

Rockland Camden

pay $75

Bar Harbor TAX

LUXARY

Electric

$150

Company

$140

Waterville Winslow

Chance

$200

Maine

Boston

R R Old Orchid

CHEST

COMMUNITY

$300

Chance

$220

$240

Belfast

$160

VI JU SI S TI T N G

Works

Aroostook $200

? COMMUNITY

Moosehead $200

Fort Kent R

$180 K

E LIC PO

Brunswick Lewiston

$260

Isle

Presque Houlton

CHEST CMY

$150

$180 Y

$260

$200 M

$280

PA RK IN G C

Maineopoly James Rainey

My Adobe Illustrator assignment was to put my own idea of a copycat monopoly game into a finished product. We had to be very precise with the layout and come up with our own design of every space. The layout should be organized and be a harmonized composition.

Photoshop

60 Photoshop

Phillip Seymour Hoffman By Lauren Woods

Photoshop portrait with paths

Photoshop 61

Chris Pine Portrait By Amy Wilkins

For this Photoshop assignment, we had to choose a photograph of a famous actor/actress to use. I chose a photograph of Chris Pine and we had to use the pen tool to trace sections of color differences. We had to create paths, fill the paths with color, and recreate the image of the subject.

62 Photoshop

Story Land By Debbra Florey

Photoshop - Create a mythical scene using multiple images to create one cohesive image.

Photoshop 63

Old Man Winter By: Jâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Hannah Glencross

This design was created in Photoshop - from five different images, and several Photoshop brushes manipulated together to construct this composite image.