june 13, 2011 Envy In The Workplace Part 2 Are Men Still Attracted to Women Without Makeup? Gift Ideas for Father’s Day
Quote of The Week
“It’s beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.”
Click here to view past publications online
– Unknown
Editor’s Note
Father’s Day will be celebrated this Sunday, June 19. We give you five great gift options to make your dad feel like a king. Also, cosmetics make women feel more beautiful but is a huge turn-off to most Jamaican men. Natural beauty is highly prized in Jamaica, but is anything wrong with getting “dolled-up” for special occasions? Read all about it in this week’s issue of Your Style!
Live. Love. Laugh a Lot.
Click here to follow us on Twitter
Join our group on Facebook
career
envy in the
Workplace Part 2 using it as a benchmark. However, it can be detrimental if you ignore all your efforts and measure your past self with your present.
P
sychologist Abraham Tesser concludes that individuals tend to be unhappier when a close friend succeeds in a personally relevant domain as opposed to a stranger. “Strangers are an abstraction, and their achievements are merely statistics. On the other hand, a friend’s success is vivid and seems attainable to you, too.” This doesn’t mean that you are not happy for the person, only that you wish it had happened to you. However it is not difficult to foster “bountiful thoughts of spirit and quiet the cruel voice of envy.” Research has found a simple method that has proven to help individuals substitute their thoughts of envy with thoughts that are more productive for the mind. Identify what makes you envious - This is the first step before any problem solving can occur. It is essential to identify the source and whether it indicates that the primary reason is due to insecurity. For example, do you find yourself having resentment towards people who earn higher salaries, those who work on their own initiative and gets praises from the boss? When you have identified the cause, it becomes easier to address these feeling before they result in reduced productivity. It is possible that these are things you care about and can address in yourself if you want to earn the same rewards. Focus on yourself and not on others – It is always easy to judge things from the outside, but if the grass is greener on the other side, chances are the water bill is a bit more expensive, too. Comparing yourself with others is good at times and is a natural part of life if you are
www.ezineslimited.com
Affirm yourself - Other people around you will always have accomplishments, but we are all in pursuit of our own goals and dreams, so recognizing your own achievements - no matter how small - can help you “check your envy.” If you happened to feel threatened every time a colleague achieves something, kill the knee-jerk reaction by reminding yourself of your own strengths and successes. Though the feeling of jealousy may pop up every now and again, it is important that you continue to improve yourself, which is a daily process. Never underestimate or under-appreciate yourself. As simple as these exercises may appear, they have proven to yield profound results.
Ideas in Brief Comparing yourself with successful coworkers can be motivating, but it can also trigger envy. The authors’ research suggests that such feelings may cause real damage, both to your own career and to your organization’s success.
By confronting your feelings and replacing negative habits of thinking with more productive ones, you will become more open to others, more receptive to change, and more fulfilled at work.
Click here to follow Boss Lady on Twitter
your style eZine
cover story
are men still attracted to
Women Without Makeup?
Before
After
A
ccording to research, the use of cosmetics spans some 6000 years of human history. Both women AND men have used facial cosmetics for centuries, dating back to the ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans. The Egyptians in particular seemed to have a natural knack for makeup, with sophisticated tools and ingredients such as kohl, which is still regarded as the best eyeliner among beauty experts today. Over the centuries, makeup has become a billion-dollar industry and a bona fide female domain. Many women won’t be caught dead without at least lip gloss on, and some feel naked unless they’re fully made-up. Many men have stated that they don’t like their women to wear cosmetics. In Jamaica, natural beauty is widely celebrated, especially in our music. Who can forget Tarrus Riley’s mega-hit “She’s Royal”, with the lines “What a natural beauty/ Nuh need no makeup to be a cutie”? However, many of these same advocates of ‘natural beauty’ are the first to do a double-take whenever a well made-up woman walks by. Is it that a woman in not seen as attractive enough in her natural state and has to use makeup to ‘enhance’ her looks for male approval? Not so, says Damian Shaw, a 26-year-old corporate and personal image consultant. “I always encourage women that I have a relationship with that I’m an ‘all-natural’ kind of guy. Too often women wear makeup consistently to cover blemishes and neglect to take care of the situation so that they don’t have to rely on heavy use of makeup… but I love when
www.ezineslimited.com
r
Afte re
Befo
a woman applies her makeup just right and not overdone. Leave that for the stage, not for everyday wear. It can’t hurt to ‘doll-up’ occasionally,” he explains. Audley McCarthy, 44, agrees somewhat. “I prefer moderation. War paint turns me off, but delicate makeup adds to or accentuates some features. I prefer lip gloss over lipstick and I hate eye shadow, especially the ones that are daubed on,” he says. While men like Shaw and McCarthy support the wearing of makeup if done tastefully and for occasions like job interviews, dates and parties, others are dead set against it. “I am not attracted to girls who wear makeup. Come as you are or don’t come at all,” Robert Marsh, 26, states bluntly. “My girlfriend doesn’t wear makeup at all. She’s a naturalist. Makeup is fake and I don’t like that.”
your style eZine
cover story
After
Before
Women generally wear makeup because they believe it makes them look ‘better’, whether it is smoothing out uneven skin tone, hiding blemishes or making their best features stand out. For Lucet Montgomery, 26, makeup is simply an enhancer. “My boyfriend thinks it’s too much, but he likes it tastefully done and light, just bronzer,” she says. She also admits to receiving a bit more male attention whenever she wears makeup, especially for her lips. Several studies have been carried out to determine the extent to which wearing makeup affects how both men and women behave. In 2008, social psychologist Nicolas Geugen carried out an experiment, reported in the North American Journal of Psychology. Geugen had two young women sit in a bar in France, first with makeup on, and then with their faces simply cleaned and moisturized. Then they waited for men to chat them up. Over 60 observational one-hour periods in two different bars, it was recorded that the first man approached the women after an average of 23 minutes and they were hit on 1.5 times per hour when they wore no makeup. With makeup on, the first man approached them after 17 minutes and they were hit on two times per hour. These results suggest that makeup was effective in changing men’s behaviour, with one third more men approaching the women when they were made-up. However, it was concluded that wearing makeup could have given the two women more confidence, thereby changing their behaviour and encouraging men to approach. Secondly, one cannot generalize from this study as men in another culture might respond in a different way.
After
e Befor “It’s a double standard which will last till time ends,” Montgomery argues. “A man prefers a demure, generic woman as his wife and a showy, glamourous one as his side-piece to maintain his interest. Marry the nun and date the Las Vegas showgirl.” Young girls are also caught up in the all-natural versus makeup debate. Shaw’s two-year-old daughter is already interested in makeup, perhaps due to the nature of his work and her mother’s “cosmetology passion”. He says, “I will only allow her to wear makeup when she has started performing on stage, but not casually until she’s 16. I believe that’s a decent age and by then my heart and mind will be ready to deal with the consequence that will come with it - boys. Casual wear of makeup should not be introduced to a child below that age because it fosters dependence and a distorted view of beauty at a formative adolescent stage where that foundation of ‘naturally beautiful’ needs to be reinforced.” advertisment
While these results are inconclusive, makeup certainly has an effect on the wearer and her audience, whether it is one special person or the general public. Given that some men do pay more attention to ‘dolled-up’ women, is it then fair for them to want women to go au naturel?
www.ezineslimited.com
your style eZine
father’s day
F
Gift ideas forFather’s
Day
ather’s Day has never received as much attention as Mother’s Day, but we cannot deny the fact that there are many dads out there who deserve to be celebrated for all the hard work they put into being great parents. If you’re not sure about what gifts to suggest to your children for their father or what to get your dad this Father’s Day, Your Style has you covered! Check out these great gift ideas that are sure to please:
1 Tool Set Does your father enjoy drilling, sanding and general tinkering around the house? Then visit the hardware store and get him a tool set. This is perfect if he is “Mr. Fix-It” and lives for home improvement.
2
Leisure Has your dad always expressed the wish to start playing golf but has never got around to it and doesn’t even have a set of golf clubs? You can get him an inexpensive beginners’ set that would surely encourage him to start hitting the green.
4
5
Tablet PC The tablet PC has rocketed into the mainstream and makes an ideal gift if your dad is corporate, always on the go and in between meetings or simply a techie. There are several tablets to choose from; it just depends on what your father’s needs are. The top three that seems to be on everyone’s list are the iPad, Samsung Galaxy and RIM’s Playbook.
3 Spa Gift Certificate Don’t let the macho state on mind fool you - men love to be pampered, too! Gift certificates are ideal and timely and are perfect for any budget.
www.ezineslimited.com
Clothing Replenish your old man’s closet with a few new items. Replace his dingy t-shirts with some fresh, new whites; give him a stylish tie or hat or find a crisp dress shirt or comfortable, fashionable sweater vest in his favourite colour. We guarantee he will appreciate it!
your style eZine
Š 2011 eZines Limited. All Rights Reserved