Foundations for Freedom Newsletter 24 Greencoat Place, London., SW1P 1RD, UK tel: 020-7798 6000, www.f-4-f.org, F4F@london.iofc.org Issue 30 August 2003 In this issue... Reflections on Caux 2003 Love is enough - Ildze Slanke Oz Experiences from Anya and Cristina
When I arrived in Caux, it was dark night, and all I could see was the back of the Mountain House. On the next day, when I opened the windows, I could not believe my eyes. I thought there is a picture in front of me, but no, it was all reality… Being in Caux for three weeks, I experienced the most wonderful summer of my life. I met my friends there and other very interesting people that are very dear to me now, and this was even more amazing than the nature around us. I found there the energy that I was looking for so long.
CAUX
1-2 3-4 4-6
Action for Life Line News from the Treasurer F4F diary
7-8 8 8
Finding myself in the middle of unimaginable beautiful nature and surrounded by people with open hearts and minds, this made me feel totally free and pure. I felt freedom and purity in my thoughts, in my actions, in my soul. Now, being back at home, I feel that something is changed in me. The exhaustion and tiredness are out of my body and soul. Thanks to everyone for giving me the chance to come to Caux this summer … Cristina Gherasimov (Moldova)
2003
How we were making all our way from Siberia to Switzerland was a real nut house taken out for a ride. From the personal perspective the first real shock for me was that all of a sudden I realised that the whole idea of YHI (as I had had it Photo Ward Vandewegee in my head) was a pure illusion. No doubt it was useful, but not at all painless. Any critical situation in a team is fraught with revealing many surprising things, and this wasn’t an exceptional case. What my soul really desired was Solitude. Solitude was what I was running to. I wanted it like never before, and like nothing else in the whole world. A typical introvert which I am, for so many months I had been surrounded so closely by people I loved, that I felt I could no longer bear it, and I felt as if love had gone and there was no strength in me left to keep loving people and wanting to be with them. When we finally made it to Caux after all our trouble, we were ever so worn out that I’m even not sure I was able to say hello to the people I had so wanted to see, and react adequately to what they were offering me. Once I entered Caux Palace I got surrounded by friends. But still, the first strong feeling I got in Caux was fear. I was bringing the whole suitcase of fear with me: fear of losing all that I had so laboriously gained through all these months, losing my sweetest hopes and dreams because Loneliness wanted me and I wanted Loneliness; fear of not 1
loving the people I came with, of my own non-pure motives and egoism. And then there came love... unbearable love, which no heart, including my own, is capable of containing. The love I had was like waves... since last winter. Walking along the street crying unable to stop. Dashing around your room and praying for someone to take at least a piece of this love and beauty back to where it’s from, because it’s more than you can bear. This feeling came back to me and it was stronger than fear, but fear remained. I was afraid of the dark corridors, desperately afraid of the castle. This is strange - there’s hardly any other place where you are treated with such understanding, warmth, and friendliness as in Caux, that’s without doubt, and the memories are more often warm and gentle. But this fear, aroused from the depth of my soul, is like a domestic ghost, like a little mirage of mine, which I silently gaze at with my inner sight. I came home with the desire for solitude, which I hadn’t fully satisfied. I was struggling to respond to people asking ‘well-and-so-how-was-it?’ stuff, and forcing myself to answer emails. The love that I nearly thought was killed is surviving its renaissance. I’m staring and staring at its face, and can hardly recognise it, so greatly it has changed. Having overcome my fears, and having gone through THREE waves of complete disillusionment (one in Caux, two after, and I guess tens yet to come), which implied a strong belief that the IC/F4F/YHI thing is over for me, and all personal things, which are connected with these three are drawing to a close too, this new love of mine now looks pretty tired and pale. What conclusions did I make from the whole Caux experience? In the first place, Caux proved to be no paradise, but a very real place where very real things are happening. Secondly, I finally realised that there’s no world, in which everyone has been given a present and becomes shiny happy. What I loved about Caux was that it’s not about paying compliments; it’s very honest with you, as it’s the home you create for yourself and people you care for. It’s great responsibility, as it’s a pure reflection of what you are, and every little thing you do, say, in the Main Hall will resonate somehow in the Sal Du Lac, because it’s such a whole interdependent thing, which you create yourself every second of your stay there. Caux is what you do and how you are. It won’t give you more than you give to it, but no more it’ll take. It’s adequate. It’ll be just what you’ll make it, and no way any different. I realised that if we go to Caux again, it must be a team of 2 or 3, strongly committed, with similar motivation, a distinct vision of what this trip is aimed to achieve. What hurt me most was that I had thought that if a person doesn’t feel “Nothing clear yet but I have some ideas...” the spirit, oristhere’s something wrong with them and they need help, they would go to Caux, and in this resort of spirit they’d be cured, and higher truth would come down on him like a blessing, and so on and so forth. What I discovered was that if a person feels no spirit in the swampy soils of the native Siberian lands, they’re MUCH LESS likely to get it in Caux; Caux is no resort, and no mental hospital for the sorrowing; it might be the greatest step of development, or a complete waste of time and force if you initially got nothing inside that would respond to its magic. The LUFF that I unexpectedly could no longer feel towards YHI all of a sudden projected on the whole F4F Regional Network. Suddenly it stabbed me like a pin in the heart, right like it was many centuries ago, that fresh, chilly and bittersweet October 2002, for YHI. I recognise exactly this very feeling of being the most generous giver and a humble beggar at the same time, (continued on page 8) 2
LOVE IS ENOUGH “Where there is life, there is action” (Surinder Gupta, the former director of the MRA/IC Centre Asia Plateau).
dung floor. Harmony was binding the only breadwinner of the family, the women and the children. Nothing was missing.
Action fo r Life had been a journey in formerly unreachable heights and depths of human hearts, a beauty only poets can describe, a daring to be oneself.
· One should always try to have peace. I will never forget the way an Indian maid brought a glass of cold water – that moment it seemed there had never ever been wars in this World.
Now when it is all memories, every moment of Ukraine’s future... the adventure shines in bright colours - whether it is a dusty main street of Phnom Penh (the capital of Cambodia), going by unstable motorbike to work and enjoying three drops of rain during a usual hot (+40 C degrees) day, saying morning and evening prayers together with a friend in a shared room, learning from the energy and wisdom of natives of the polluted and overcrowded Bombay.
· Fear is a liar. Fear is a poison damaging the present in the name of the unknown. It was through the care and wisdom of group-mates many times we attacked fears – through doing what we fear the most (like writing letters of apology, sorting out differences with a friend, daring to speak up to the audience).
There are many valuable lessons Action for Life taught me. Here are just some: · If you share, you enrich yourself and others - it brings people closer and gives a feeling of belonging · Love is enough. The saying had been written on a torn poster on the wall of an Indian villager’s room with cow-
· I should always try to be ready to do what God wants me to do. Often I keep remembering an old Muslim gentleman from Bombay, Abdul Kader Choudhary, whose silk printing factory, inherited from his grandfathers, had been burned down during the Hindu - Muslim riots in 1992. A friend came to him and said: “Build it all again”. And so he did in spite of bitterness, pain, exhaustion, distrust in people and events. The question is “Are you ready?” after meeting Mr. Choudhary and tens of other people, who ARE READY, during AfL I learned that I have to be ready too. Every day. 3
· Service is joy. There is a poem by Tagore written on the wall of the Asia Plateau kitchen (MRA/IC centre in Panchgani), which says “I dreamt of a life as joy. I woke up and found that life is service. I started serving and discovered that service is joy”. So many times during Action for Life this proved to be true: the joy of putting together sessions, presentations, conferences; giving each other and total strangers a listening ear. One of my authorities in terms of service is Komalam George, the head of the housekeeping team in Asia Plateau. She is up first and leaving last, but still her eyes are always shining, her jokes are funny and the meals prepared under her leadership put most restaurants in the shade. · There can never be too much respect for the other person, no matter to which culture he or she belongs. Respect – meaning – non-judgement, interest, seeing God’s child in the human being. This all might sound a good or not that good a theory. But as we all know – and MRA/IC is about practice. That’s the most challenging. Action for Life given us a clear view of how beautiful the soul is, how high it can fly, and – much souls of other people have suffered. Now when we know it – the knowledge to be implemented, the conviction given has to be used.
F4F had how has
So simple! Action for Life prepared us to do what we have to – should it be ordinary or unique. It gave a map to find the way, courage to do what is right, a fellowship always to rely on, and a conviction that everyone has a God given task, and no-one else can do it for us. “Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing at all” - Mike Brown Ildze Slanke, Editor of Baltic Business News (Latvia)
Vegemite for breakfast and Lamingtons for dessert...
Welcome to Australia!
Anya Bondarenko (Crimea, Ukraine) and Cristina Cojocaru (Chisinau, Moldova) share their experiences from down under . About 17 hours in the air and we are in Sydney. I still find it difficult to realize that we are at the other end of the earth, somewhere down under. There are always a lot of things that remind me that I’m in a distant continent - all these koalas, possums and parrots around - but I still can hardly comprehend the distance between Ukraine and Australia. But what I really feel is the differences of the cultures and lifestyles and this is a remarkably interesting experience. Vegemite for breakfast and Lamingtons for dessert are definitely not the things that remind me of Ukraine, and after a few months enjoying the taste of food I’ve never tried before I begin to dream about borsch and spend much time trying to find buckwheat. In Australia it is hard to find anybody who is not passionate about the beauty of this country. Watching waves at the ocean, kangaroos in the bush and meeting people from every nation, I would say this is the paradise on Earth. Unfortunately nothing is perfect in this world and Australia has its own troubles. What I really appreciate is how Australians cope with their problems. We visited a school in Melbourne and one of the students said that the biggest problem in her country was apathy. Do you know what I felt about this comment? I felt ashamed not for Australians or Australia, but for my own country, for my people and myself. I wonder how many people in Crimea think about disciplined usage of water, related to draughts and shortage of water in our reservoirs? How many people would pay 4
public transport tickets, if there were no collectors? Australians treat street dogs better than we treat people in need. They understand that if they don’t care for the place where they live, nobody will do it. The very simple thing and at the same time difficult is to be aware that “we ” consists of many “I”s and that can be more difficult to understand for us, Eastern-Europeans, having lived under 70 years of communism and under the dictum “initiative will be punished”. Australians have another problem; they often forget that each individual is part of the society. Both countries are in need of finding a balance between the two pronouns “I” and “We”, but this is another story. People here are not afraid to take initiative and they do not always find support for what they do, but at least the government does not impede or create obstacles to doing what Australian citizens think is worth while. They are not afraid to apologize for mistakes made centuries ago. The shame of Australia relates to the way the children of Aboriginal people were separated from their parents and taken from their land. It seems a long time ago but the wound of the Aboriginal people’s hearts is still there. It is amazing how many people understand this and are eager to say sorry to indigenous people who need this kind of recognition and acceptance of the wrongs of history. Attempts to heal the past help to learn and prevent us all of making the same mistakes in the future. This encourages me to learn more about the history of my country. We also have people who are the victims of the mistakes made in the past and who think that the people in the community don’t want to accept them as equals and it is not so important whether it is true or not, it is more important that they feel that way. I always find travelling is an interesting and at the same time challenging experience, it is a great opportunity to learn from people and to have a chance to get a perspective on my own country from a distance. The experience of living in Australia is very helpful for me and I’m sure that for some Australians to come and live in Ukraine would also be a valuable experience. So, welcome! Anya
Bondarenko
Anya wrote about the country we are now in and the differences between this land and Ukraine. I will continue where she left off and write about the home we are now living in as well as the initiatives we are engaged in here. The place where we stay is called Armagh, which is the Australia-Pacific Centre for MRA/IC in Melbourne. It also serves as a community house, where people who share similar ideas and goals live together, and search for ways, in which they can use their lives to make the world become a better place. Over the years - since 1956 - it has been a home for many people from all over the world, but Anya and I are among the first Eastern Europeans to spend time here! Living in a community is a lot of fun, but is not always easy. It often brings 5
to the surface our weaknesses and limitations, things that we always found hard to accept about ourselves, and personal issues we were reluctant to let others see. It is also a place in which we can experience constant growth. Community is in some ways like family, so those who live in Armagh are called “the Armagh Family”, which today consists of 10 members, but the house-count always keeps changing. Armagh is graciously hosted by Rob and Cheryl Wood (an Australian couple in Smile of the month! their fifties) and Fetu Paulo, who is from Samoa and cooks the most delicious meals! Anya, myself and a girl from Korea - Jisun (who will be joining Action for Life in November) - are here as MRA/IC co-workers. This basically requires our identification with, and commitment to, the aims and values of MRA/IC, as well as accepting the lifestyle of the community we live in. Included in this is - full participation in all the aspects of its life: meetings, entertaining guests, domestic duties, outreach activities, and taking personal initiative with a spirit of readiness to learn, grow and change. Besides us the Armagh household also consists of 5 other young people from Korea, Japan, Hong Kong and China (three boys and two girls) who study and work in Melbourne. Many of you would at least have met Mike Lowe, who was actively involved in F4F during the past years. Currently he is living in the same property of Armagh with his wife and two sons, just next door to us. Among other things we do a weekly bookstudy together and have had the chance to get to know each other better. The activities at Armagh are conducted by a diverse network of people and are basically focused on relationships, community building, and conflict resolution. Australia is one of the most multi-cultural countries, developing trust and confronting fear, which are essential to positive community relationships. One major initiative that has this as its focus is “Open Homes - Open Hearts”. It aims to provide opportunities for people of all backgrounds in Australia to reach out to those of different cultures and faith traditions. In July Anya and I took part in the residential Course for young adults called “Life Matters”, which aimed to train the participants in leadership, spiritual development, finding a sense of personal identity, life purpose and responsibility. We also took part in facilitation and team-building training programs - and on several occasions since have had chances to apply in practice what we learned. Apart form our life in Armagh, Anya and I are once a week doing voluntary work at the Asylum Seekers Resource Centre and I find it quite eye-opening. This experience made me realize again and again how much others and I should appreciate the fact that in our countries at present there is no dictatorship, no torture and oppression, no war. I often wonder about my path and my meaning in life. What is my calling? This is still not totally clear to me. ...Eventually I thought how to sum up my experience here in a couple of words and the answer that came was that it’s “learning about Life”. And I am very grateful for the lessons I learn! Cristina Cojocaru 6
ACTION FOR LIFE LINE
From this issue on we start a new column dedicated to the stories of those from Eastern Europe taking part in Action for Life 2. This issue will help you understand why some of them decided to take part in the programme and what it is that they expect from it. You can find more information about the programme at www.afl.iofc.org Katia Zirjanova, a law graduate, working as an interpreter and having been involved with the F4F-inspired NGO Youth Humanitarian Initiative (YHI) in Novosibirsk for 4 years (Russia): “Dream carefully, dreams tend to come true…” This, indeed, is a slogan for this past year of my crazy life, for so many things I thought about and dreamt of secretly and quietly (sometimes not) in the dusty corner of my brain started to happen to my awe and amazement… Action for Life 2 being one of them… Frankly speaking, I still cannot quite believe I am going to be part of it, g o i is n g yet u pa! big challenge to overcome that and fundraising does give ground for reasonable doubt, plus AfL is a challenge by itself - it goes without saying. But the fighting spirit I have discovered in myself lately can only get happy about challenges… And it did show in spring when I decided to apply. Back then, my poor decision-making qualities were topped with the ‘instinct vs. reason’ situation. This was when, on one hand, there was a possibility to go to work in Italy for a year, with the prospect of highly essential financial independence, etc (although I was not going to give up my work with YHI / F4F/ IC anyway) and, on the other one, was AfL. Deep inside I knew I would follow my inner longing and passion for this kind of work and choose the latter... So I did. I am trying not to have any expectations of the program and really plan to follow the facilitators’ golden rule to ‘trust the process’, but, what I do hope will turn out of it, is the upgraded me that will have more to offer to people around. And I am thankful to God and people for the trust invested in your humble servant (particularly for the financial help of friends, old and new back in Caux). Fun times... Zoriana Borbulevych, foreign languages student (Lviv, Ukraine): So, why Action for Life then? Have you ever had a feeling about something that you wanted to do, some course you wanted to take in your life, and wondered how it might happen? And then I want to discover ... after you had half forgotten about it and focused on what I am meant to do. other things, you suddenly met someone or read something or went somewhere that led you to the very opportunity you envisioned? Now, that is what usually happens to me! And such opportunities feel destined, as though some unexplained force has guided my life. The Universe is energy that responds to our expectations. People are part of that energy too - so when we have a question, other people or opportunities show up that have the answer. I strongly believe that Action for Life will bring together both people with questions and people with the right answers, people who will have so many things to talk about. 7
We are all looking for more fulfilment in our lives. And I found this fulfilment in my IC experience (so different, but so encouraging). Looking back at the last three years I now feel this experience has been worthwhile. Yet I also feel the urge to move on. I hope for a kind of renaissance in my own (or our ‘human’) consciousness. I want to discover something new about our life on this planet, about what our existence means and what I am meant to do. I feel the time is right to let more people into my life, to hear their life-changing words and to discover my personal journey. Ilze Gutmane, communications and public relations student (Latvia): The Action for Life programme seems to be an amazing adventure, experience with different peoples and cultures with the background of understanding. And one of the reasons why it seems to be the right place for me now is because I want to share my thoughts and experience, fears and ideas to improve. I believe that everyone can make their dreams come true and also share this belief.
F4F Diary 4 September - F4F UK committee meeting 2 - 11 October - Changing Course 32 in Novosibirsk (Russia) 20 October - F4F UK committee meeting 24 - 30 November - F4F Course in Kiev (Ukraine) February 2004 - F4F Regional Meeting in Moldova
Dear Reader, We would like to thank everyone who has contributed to making this issue of the F4F Newsletter. If you think that someone else you know should get this newsletter or if you have any suggestions, please contact the editor Oleg Ermurati at oleg@london.iofc.org. Thank you. 8
...(continued from page 2) but now on a bit larger scale, a new level maybe. I try to avoid extremes, I feel so earthly and sceptic, but a new sense of love is shining through my apathy, my disappointment and disillusionment, enchanting me, and I’m thinking how good we all are, and what a gigantic difference we can make all together… Tatyana Sokolova aka LoLa (Russia)
News from the Treasurer... The news that USAID has not accepted our funding application has caused some disappointment. Wouldn’t it have been great to have had a secure source of funds for the next five years! But it was not to be, and maybe we should accept that it was not meant to be. Without it, we may be short of money, but we remain free to follow whatever courses of action seem right, with no need to satisfy a pre-arranged plan. How we raise enough funds, and from where, remain two of the vital questions for all of Initiatives of Change’ work, affecting every part of the world. Just at the moment, many of those who plan to work with Action For Life 2 are “in the hot seat” from this point of view. They each need to raise large sums, and will need our prayers and support. Looking at Foundations 4 Freedom’s budget for the next six months, there are real needs, but we have been in worse positions many times. We expect to spend some £28,440 up to the end of February. With what we already have, and what IC-UK has promised to pay as matching funds, we can muster £22,900 towards this. Luckily, IC looks as if it is in a position to pay the matching funds, so we are left with a prayer target of £5,533. Chris Evans Watch out for the next issue in November-December 2003!