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Photo Credit by Victoria Fifer
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Photo Credit by Victoria Fifer
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68 "Who I Am? (Thoughts of an Artist)"
Who am I?
After the curtain call When the seats are empty The lights are off The mic, unplugged When the music is over
Who am I?
If there was no studio A notebook with no words A mind with no ideas A voice with nothing to say
Who would I be?
If I wasn't an artist If I wasn't a poet Would I still be outspoken? Would the people even notice? Who am I?
Am I the mask or the man underneath? To this art form, I dedicated my whole being I exist through these words The feeling I get breathes life into my soul But when the words are forgotten And that feeling is no more...
Who am I? -Andre Berry aka Dre. K.B.
69 My son Jamil was born with a shake his foot would agitate randomly. Anxiety is like needles in his skin, damn near shut down his entire left side.
I was pregnant with him during the abuse from his dad. Jamil felt everything, the weight of enraged parents was heavy. My son middled his way into a broken family.
I try reaching past prescriptions. At times i'm his Adderall, when i wear off i'm his trigger. Mental disorders destroy our home. I try to take it back. My family says, “he’s just bad, beat his ass.” But, I will not spank him, an ass-whooping can't fix mental health.
I remember walking into daycare and there’s Jamil, balled fists. Only seeing the whites of his eyes, he’s never looked more like his father. Picking up chairs, tossing them one by one.
If he’s not fighting the world he’s fighting himself. Cuts and punches himself, and I'm left holding his rage with arms that can't seem to wrap around all of our anxiety. And all the times I too used blades to cut out my depression.
70 He says “Mommy they call me a weirdo” He says “Mommy I can’t get right” He asks, “ Mommy whats wrong with me?” And the world responds with IEP’s, behavior plans, expectations for him to fail. In spite of his 4.0 and misdiagnosis because they don’t understand what autism may look like when it’s brown and angry.
Jamil is 11 now, he comes home and falls asleep in my lap. His brain tired of battling an illness and an entire school system that doesn't care.
Jamil is living with disorders that are mocked and victimized, stereotyped constantly... And he breaks them all, every label from Oppositional to ADHD to High functioning It’s because Jamil is the exception, not the rule.
-Monica Edwards
“Squared Circle Running circles round them squares in the squared circle See opponents as a hurdle And I box them up and hurdle Lines that they hurdle I just eat up and gurgle I stay original to remain clever Try to copy me I sever
71 Links? You catch that? We have different connections And different functions They say they the shit but no bodily function Smell me? Sitting on the rim before I pull the handle Flush after I dismantle Their breakdown Chemically The best poets meshed together can’t match me chemically Poetic Genius and that ain’t to be gimmicky That’s what they call me forever as they remember me So the best poet in the future can wear a cap and gown in his speech say “Remember me?” Like I’ve been reincarnated It’ll just be a continuation of my greatness Graduated top of my class and this is Poetry 101 I’m the first and last number Opponents be the one in the middle Feel me? Don’t have to… I feel myself like masturbation Them wannabe poets like orange juice except they have no concentration But I got bars like incarceration Got this on lock Chain And bolts Extra doors Spiked floored No breaking in Really #1 but listed as “Just breaking in” Call that deception or bad reception I’m so out of their range Like a phone with bad connection
72 But they’ll pick up And I’ll be the first picked when they pick up For new teams My triangle offense is a caution sign Leave them boxed like a coffin design Cause I’m killin’ em Dissection They have no rim protection Can’t block me In this squared circle lace up your gloves….can’t box me Do you read? Do you copy? If so you know it’s over and out Climb through the ropes with your broken hopes To top me (The champ is here)
“U”
Closure and closer sound so close together But so far apart Cause I say I wanna be closer, you say you just want closure And us staying apart brings me closer to the bottom than I ever been Wanna jump into the conclusion I’m just as good alone as I am with you But problem is I never saw myself as complete, other than when you were attached to me I saw when you disconnected left our love disjointed Brought a whole new meaning to separated Cause I know we became one So now I’m in two places all the time Trying to find my way back to the center Trying to throw pride into this void you left Throwing coals into this dim fire, trying to redeem my self-esteem I’m tired of the bruises from kicking myself
73 The taunting I fling at my reflection, the wound filled with salt when I claim It’s my fault I know it’s OUR fault I know we broke OUR hearts I watched it happen I tried to ignore the sound of the breaking I tried to ignore the tick of our time being up The reminder that we could never last forever But it blared in my ear every time we parted ways I wondered…was it the last time the taste of your kiss sat happy on my lips I hate that it caught me so off guard when it actually was The taste has faded away, I lick my lips trying to remember it But… Closure and closer sound so close together But the only thing missing Is “U”
-The Poetic Genius
Monica Edwards, Writer's Den 3rd annual Page Slam winner, member of the Writer's Den slam team out of Richmond, VA Andre' Berry aka Dre K.B. Rapper/Poet/Producer from Gloucester, VA The Poetic Genius-Chris Green, Poet from Gloucester, VA
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