The Facets Magazine - “Love yourself first” issue for February/March 2012 by The Facets Magazine

Facets the

magazine

Love, from a distance Digital desires decoded When Parks and Recreation and nursing theory collide Love yourself first issue â&#x2014;&#x160; Feb/March 2012

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

Say hello to the Facets team. What does your candy heart say?

DIAF

GINGER TIME

REALLY?!

founder and editor-in-chief

founder and managing editor

BRITTANY ABEIJON

TOM SALEK

founder and creative direction/ graphic design

RACHEL KOSMAL

BITE ME

FUNK DAT!

JUST DANCE!

founder and web operations

founder and photographer

lead graphic designer

JAY HARVEY

LYNN W. CONWAY

MELISSA GRIFFIN

WAIT, WHAT?

ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S VIRAL!

FABOOSH

graphic designer

social media strategist

advertising coordinator

ASHLEY JOHNSTON

KASEY THOMAS

JOHN SCALISE

volume 4

C ntributors Mandy Cornish Resolving to make a resolution... next year Chicago writer

Jessica Deming Loves her husband, but hearts Kate Spade (wink, wink) Chicago writer

Laura Ledesma Look out small town, here comes the city girl Alpena, Mich. writer

Sarah Long Nurse gone rogue who followed her dreams San Francisco writer

? Do you want to work with us? email:

jobs@thefacetsmag.com

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

Megan Kelly A Spring who loves the Autumn color palette Kansas City, Mo. writer

Kathy Khazanova Supporter and sympathizer of the jaded Valentine Chicago writer

Melanie Krakauer Love guru in training Chicago writer

Renee Mailhiot Personally lived through a few too many Unofficial celebrations Frankfort, Ill. writer

Lindsay McCown Prefers frequent flier miles over flowers Los Angeles writer

Alison Penner Never leaves the house without at least a little blush Lake Zurich, Ill. makeup artist volume 4

Contents

February / March 2012 LOVE YOURSELF FIRST issue

9 Love yourself first A letter from the editors

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS Digital desires decoded Craigslist’s casual encounters: When personal ads go online

It’s the thought that counts? Think harder.

15 15

Make that special someone feel loved on Valentine’s Day

Love, from a distance How to keep going when you’re hundreds of miles apart

Learning to be in a ‘grown-up’ relationship

28 25

A revelation in ways to find, keep love

When celebrating Mr. or Mrs. Right goes very, very wrong

From breakups to cheating significant others, the day of love can sometimes be a nightmare

FASHION/BEAUTY Black, white and red all over Putting the mod in models

What colors look best on you? Discover which seasonal color palette makes you stand out, look stunning 6

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31 31 39

43 FOOD/DRINK Dinner and a movie Spend a night in with authentic tapas and Vicky Cristina Barcelona

ENTERTAINMENT The best Academy Award nominees— and the most overrated

Our editor’s guide to the top movies of 2011

Unofficially Irish Dear diary, can I handle it?

LIFE When Parks and Recreation and nursing theory collide

It’s important to your health to treat yo’self

How to keep your New Year’s resolutions

It’s not too late to continue—or start— achieving your 2012 goals

TRAVEL Rural realities Small town life after leaving the big city

Founders’ favorites What we’re loving right now

Social media fridge Show us some love

74 77 volume 4

LOVE

YOURSELF

FIRST

A letter from the editors

here’s only one more week until Valentine’s Day, and you know what that means: right now you’re probably getting four different emails a day about discounted floral arrangements. Some people are probably over it at this point, dismissing each one with an eye roll. And others are predictably grateful for the reminder, paying more than $40 extra to expedite a flower delivery—which may even be more than the flowers themselves. There’s simply no escaping the in-your-face commercialism associated with the holiday. Whether you get swept up in the romance of it all, or mark those twice daily 1-800-Flowers emails as spam, let us offer a little relief. No matter if you’re single or taken, everyone can relate to a date gone to hell. Hear about other hilarious failures in our Valentine’s Day horror stories. For the romantics in the bunch, learn how one couple gets creative to make their long-distance relationship thrive despite a 1,000-mile separation. And if online dating intrigues you, check out Digital desires decoded to read more about our hands-

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off experiment with Craigslist’s casual encounters. Movie lovers, now is the perfect time to catch up on the best films of 2011 and get ready for the Oscars, which air Sunday, Feb. 26. If you’re behind on the nominations for Best Picture, catch up quick with our list of must-sees and might-wantto-skips. If you don’t feel like spending a night out at the theater, try the Spanish food and film pairing from our new series, Dinner and a movie, and enjoy a spicy night in. Although this issue begins in the dead of winter, it ends with the beginning of spring on Tuesday, March 20. Use the last few weeks of the season to focus on yourself, whether it be perking up your wardrobe with colors that work for you, getting back on track with your New Year’s resolutions, or taking a moment to treat yourself simply for being you. Consider letting love lead the way as you approach Valentine’s Day, the promise of warm weather and whatever else life throws at you in the coming months. Do what you love. Spend time with those you love. And remember, most of all, to love yourself first.

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• LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS •

Digital desires decoded Craigslist’s casual encounters: When personal ads go online By Brittany Abeijon

rom scantily clad women advertising GoDaddy.com —a company that sells an otherwise tame product— to the haunting depiction of anal rape in The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, sex is no stranger in our society. Although there is no escaping its permeation into both our physical and digital worlds, turning to the Internet as a way to express our desires can either

satisfy you, or it can screw you— in more ways than one. A mainstream website like Craigslist offers a space for people searching for legitimate relationships and missed connections, but within that space there is also a category where complete strangers hook up for sex, designated obviously as ‘casual encounters.’ This Web host of personal ads presents

dangers, yet allows honesty, constituting a blending of two different worlds that used to be separate. “The personal ads of newspapers used to combine these two, and in some ways Craigslist has just carried on personal ads in terms of what things already had,” said Ross Wantland, former sex columnist. volume 4 9

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS I NEED QUESTIONS ANSWERED! - w4m I am doing research on casual encounters that originate from online dating sites. If you have an interesting story to share, please respond to my post. Keep in mind, your answers will remain completely anonymous, unless you want to tell me your full name.

Getting some hands-off experience To learn more about the world of hooking up online, I posted my own casual encounters personal ad on Craigslist. I didn’t pose as a lonely housewife, a curious college girl or a dominatrix with a freaky fetish, I posed as myself: A writer interested in finding out what people like about the casual—and sexual—encounter. Less than one hour later, I had my first response. There’s a certain lingo with personal ads: NSA, BBW, D/D Free. But what do they mean? It seems one can put together an entire message with a series of foreign acronyms. I quickly learned NSA stands for no strings attached sex, BBW means big, beautiful women and D/D free means the person is without drugs or diseases. The first day I posted my ‘ad,’ I received five responses. All men. My first response was from a man who had met a woman on Craigslist’s casual encounters, took up a relationship and later married her. To some, their successful relationship may appear rare, but according to Online Dating Magazine, more than 120,000 marriages per year occur as a result of online dating. “It’s not about the anonymity,” the 21-year-old man said. “It’s about the selectivity that it allows.” Posting an ad allows you to filter your responses, pick and choose the person based on 10 FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

1. Age/Sex/Location. 2. What is it about the anonymity of online encounters that interests you most? 3. Have you had any successes? Have you had any horror stories? 4. How frequently do you post/respond to posts for casual encounters? 5. What is it about the NSA element of casual encounters that you enjoy most? 6. What’s your fetish? 7. Would you consider being interviewed further about this? · Location: chicago · it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests I picked up tips from viewing other posts and noticed titles with all capital letters stood out and might get me more answers.

their answers, pictures and even conversations before the actual encounter. Many people require a NSA relationship because “it allows you to take the encounter up slowly in intensity and commitment,” he clarified.

a place for people not looking to exchange conversation or reveal too much about themselves. This man told me he would happily answer the questions if I’d give him the chance to get to know me. Delete.

A second response to my inquiring ad was from a man who provided no answers to my questions. He was interested in only one thing.

“People have to figure out what ‘wine and dine you’ exactly means. Does it mean the same thing it used to?” wondered Kim Rice, sexual health educator at McKinley Health Center in Urbana, Ill. “Codes are not new; dating has always been a system of codes. You still have to figure out what the other person’s intentions and motivations are, what your intentions and motivations are and how you want the date to end.”

“Can I get to know you? Can I wine and dine you?” he asked in an email response to my questions. Even though I specified what I wanted—personal stories, reactions and responses to my questions—it seems Craigslist is

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS

It appears I’m not the only one who ever sought answers from people posting these kinds of ads. Another response I received was from a man who’d had some experience with researchminded people—or at least he wanted me to think so. “They say the only way to get a good report is to involve yourself in what you are writing about. If you wanna find out for yourself, email me back, we’ll do the deed and you get your interview,” he said. A tempting offer? I think not. Delete.

Casual encounters users may be smarter than you think I was beginning to wonder if my investigation could be taken seriously, that is until I got some actual responses from another man who said his intellect compelled him to answer my questions. “The academic in me inclines me toward answering your questions,” the 30-year-old man wrote. “Plus, it is nice to be able to communicate with someone about a part of my life I work hard to keep completely secret.” Sometimes people who engage in sex with strangers have a stigma of being sluts, perverts or immoral people, but in fact, intellectual, educated people do it, too. I even saw one post with a subject “Intellectual government man” who said he worked for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF).

This individual so honestly wrote, “For me, my sense of common decency prevents me from hooking up or engaging in casual sexual encounters, but I still have strong urges. The Internet allows me to explore these urges without disrupting the rest of my life. Also, there is a thrill in an encounter with a stranger. There is a purity to it because we both have very clear expectations.” There’s one thing for certain, people who use Craigslist to find physical relationships cannot be packaged into a ‘type.’ Whether you’re 50 years old or 18, married or single, unemployed or working for the ATF, a diverse range of people use the Internet for sex. “Part of what gets tripped off when people start talking about no strings attached sex is this idea that it’s another sign society’s morals are slipping, but I don’t buy that,” Rice said. “We are in the middle of a new era in terms of technology, and although the means look different, the interactions and behaviors are pretty much the way they’ve always been.”

Do you have the guts to do it? Besides the Craigslist couple who is now married, I had difficulty uncovering more success stories. Failed attempts seemed plenty, and one 49-year-old man was willing to tell me details about his unsuccessful efforts to hook up. “Several times I’ve gone to meet women who never showed

up,” he wrote. “One night I drove around a town 40 miles away looking for a woman who wanted to be fantasy ‘raped,’ only to find her address didn’t even exist.” He told me he was willing to be interviewed further, but said it “depends on what you look like.” As I grew familiar with these blunt responses, I also learned when people post casual encounters ads, they reveal very little detail except for what they’re looking for. “In a big city like Chicago, the community is so large that the anonymity allows you to be more direct, like ‘this is what I want and this is what I like,’” Wantland said. “They are freer to be able to express their sexual desires, and it allows them to talk about what they might keep separate from their daily lives.” While there are more legitimate sites for dating than Craigslist, the basic idea behind all of them is about hooking up. When you first meet someone in person after getting to know them online, how much do you really know about them? Initial trust is always a present issue, digital or not.

Police can be just as inventive as prostitutes Users quickly realized they could make profits with a little advertising of their services. Going beyond casual encounters, Craigslist once had another volume 4 11

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category called ‘Erotic Services,’ where both women and men advertised sex for money. These ads not only caught the attention of lust seekers, but also of law enforcement. Philip Haynes Markoff, better known as the Craigslist Killer, was charged with the armed robbery and murder of Julissa Brisman in a Boston, Mass., hotel on April 14, 2009, and later committed suicide in jail. One month later, Craigslist completely shut down the erotic services section of its website. Interestingly enough, my research-related post was flagged and removed after only two days. It seems that as much as you can be flagged for erotic or illegal content, a lack of such can get you removed, too.

The positive side of finding a partner online “I think we like to make a spectacle out of sex,” Rice said. “We are quick to talk about the dangers and slower to talk about the rewards.” So just what are the benefits of having sex with random strangers you meet online? “There’s the ease in meeting people, it reduces social anxiety in talking about sex, people are able to disclose things they may not be comfortable talking about in person and it’s easier to narrow through finding a specific person who shares your interest,” Rice added. 12 FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

“

As much as you can be flagged for erotic or illegal content, a lack of such can get you removed, too.

”

Mainstream media has shown us how 54-year-old gym teachers can pose as young men to seduce underage girls via the Internet, but Rice said onlineoriginated encounters are not inherently more dangerous than any other sexual interaction; an amount of Internet safety is always important in personal safety.

Precautions in terms of sex and safer sex are the same One dating website for men lets users look no further than the domain to find out their future partners’ health history: www. HIVPositiveMen.com, an online community for HIV positive men seeking other men for sex. “(The website name) is one of the benefits of online communities,” Wantland said. “It allows them to come out in a less shaming, more protected way.” Wantland and Rice admitted they have not seen much language or clever acronyms around condom use and safer sex. “That culture has not yet been developed on these sites, but my hope and my wish is that it starts

to develop,” Rice said. “If we want this space to stay open for anonymous and public sex, we have to make sure we are being safe about it. But I’m not sure there’s a way to enforce that.” The sexperts quickly and naturally come up with an acronym to advertise for safe sex usage. Rice and Wantland decide on CUM, which stands for Condom Use a Must.

The hard facts about finding a partner Wantland has a sense that sites like Craigslist’s casual encounters aren’t just about sex. “Porn in society tells men to separate emotions from sex, but one components of sex is an emotional one,” he said. “Men may be asking for what they might think they want, but they may not be able to separate their feelings from sex.” The Internet provides us with this fast, easy way to connect, but for some it may be an unrewarding connection. “There have always been places for men to seek these

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS

connections, movie houses and strip bars, but women live in a world that is violent against women,” Rice said. “As much as it is empowering for a woman to sift through a number of responses and choose her sexual partners at her own will, the moment a woman wants to meet face to face, she is confronted with the same barriers that are in a public place.” Whether you are a nympho or a curious straight edge, Craigslist can provide you a place to play out even the most illicit fantasies at a comfortable pace. Yet, while

the Internet may simply be a new form of singles bars, the dangers that accompany valuing sex for sex’s sake are ever present. After several attempts, but no luck, to get women to respond to my truthful advertisement, I created a Craigslist casual encounter post claiming to be a young man looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I got only one reply. It was from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. I told him the truth: I really had no idea. I was just a writer wondering the same thing. ◊

Can you translate these Craigslist casual encounters acronyms? SAF = Single Asian Female BiWM = Bisexual White Male MBM = Married Black Male GHM = Gay Hispanic Male DWF = Divorced White Female SWPM = Single White Professional Male SJPM = Single Jewish Professional Male

YOUR AD HERE If you are interested in advertising your brand, product or company to Facets readers, email advertise@thefacetsmag.com for rates and availability.

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volume 4

Facets the

magazine

2011 Holiday Gift Guide

Because giving is way more fun than receiving

Wreck the halls

Celebrate simply

Life lessons from working in hospice care

Six holiday drinks to help you stay warm this winter

One year ends, another begins issue â&#x2014;&#x160; Dec/Jan 2011-2012

New Tumblr and Twitter feeds bring all your Facets reading material together in one place! 14

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS

Photo from Getty Images

It’s the thought that counts? Think harder. Make that special someone feel loved on Valentine’s Day

By Jessica Deming • Photography by Lynn W. Conway

n elementary school, most children give cartoon-related cards and candies to classmates and crushes every Feb. 14, but as people get older the expectation to give or receive chocolate, flowers, a romantic card and

even jewelry on Valentine’s Day heightens. While I’ll gladly accept diamonds and Mint Meltaways without hesitation, the bigger challenge during Valentine’s Day—or any other gifting holiday for that matter—is to shake things up. volume 4 15

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS

While the task of doing something unexpected may seem daunting, it’s actually a lot simpler than you’d think. Doing something out of the ordinary will put a smile on your special someone’s face—which is really the reason why we give gifts to begin with.

Hobbies, interests are the best place to start A great way to start thinking of a unique gift idea is by considering your special someone’s hobbies. If your lady love is into crafts, a handmade gift is a great option. Print out some photos from your digital camera or cell phone and assemble them in a sweet, framed collage. If your partner is a bookworm, take the time to write him or her a love letter 16

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

either by hand or using an old typewriter for a vintage feel.

Don’t just think of material goods

If you’re more Best Buy than Hobby Lobby, create a slideshow with pictures and videos backed by your favorite songs. For the music lover, create a custom playlist, CD, or even a mix tape for the nostalgic audiophile with songs that remind you of them. Going steady with a sports fan? Look on eBay for an autographed ball. Does your sweetheart spend lots of time writing? A leatherbound journal will have them writing love poems about you for months to come.

For those who value experiences instead of material items, create a day full of activities both fun and romantic. Take a walk along a picturesque path. Go bowling or to the movies. At the end the day, have dinner at the restaurant where you enjoyed your first meal together.

The possibilities are endless. Taking extra time to choose a gift geared specially toward their interests shows you care enough to support them and their other passions in life.

If your schedule does not allow for a whole day, create your own scratch-off hearts card with redeemable messages—a great DIY we found in this month’s Better Homes and Gardens. Use this template to make your own, and include a shiny new penny or one from the year you and your loved one got together. Write activities in the heart spaces, like “30 minute massage,” “Movie

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS night: your choice,” “Your favorite homemade meal” or any others your partner might enjoy. If you’re still at a loss for gift ideas, there are some generally fail-safe gift options. The new Kindle Fire or Nook Color are great ideas for the under $200 price range. For under $100, you could even take your loved one on a shopping spree. But first make sure to discuss a budget you’re both comfortable with. No one wants to show up with a $20 teddy bear only to get a $500 iPad in return. Not that you’d ever turn down an iPad, but you may not feel right about it.

Beware of these gifting mistakes One thing to note, you should avoid buying clothes or accessories for your loved one unless you are confident he or she really wants the item

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and it will fit. But even so, it’s safest to get a gift receipt. It’s hard to conceal that look of disappointment after opening a box containing a band T-shirt from a group you’ve never heard of, or a gold bracelet when silver is more your style. While you can try to fake a look of happiness, it’s usually pretty easy to see through it and that can ruin the whole day. Also beware of the dreaded size dilemma. Don’t know your loved one’s size? Then don’t bother. No one, man or woman, likes to put on a shirt that’s two sizes too big or small. Another mistake to avoid is giving a gift card or worse, cash. Do not give a gift card unless your significant other specifically asked for one. And never— absolutely never—give cash. Even if Julia Roberts and Richard Gere get together in the end of Pretty Woman, no one wants to feel like a hooker on Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day gift rule of thumb $20-50 for 0-12 months $50-100 for 1-2 years $100+ for 3 or more years Single on Valentine’s Day? Lastly, if you’re single, that’s OK! Celebrate the love you have between your family and friends instead of worrying about Mr. or Mrs. Right. Send a bouquet of flowers to your mom, or host an anti-Valentine’s Day party and invite all your single friends. So whether you’re single, attached or something in between this Valentine’s Day, celebrate the love for all of the special someones in your life, including yourself. ◊

volume 4

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS

Love, from a distance

How to keep going when you’re hundreds of miles apart By Lindsay McCown Lindsay and Casey enjoy a sunset picnic on a ranch in New Mexico.

In 2010, I met a guy. His name was Casey and he was smart, handsome, laughed at my weird jokes and shared my borderline obsessive love of macaroni and cheese. We had so much in common, except for one thing: he lived in Colorado, and I lived in California. 18

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

F or most people, including myself at the time, that single fact would have been the end of any budding romance. The logical side of me thought of every reason it wouldn’t work. I stayed awake at night thinking about the horror stories I’d heard about long-distance relationships—a phrase people, even me, said with such disdain—and how hard this could be if we kept going.

Ave 125 r mi lon age sp g-d ace les ista nce apart cou for ple s

But we couldn’t stop. In fact, we only grew closer. Eventually, the time came to make some big choices. When we decided to move forward as a couple, there was no dramatic revelation or airport moment where we declared our unconditional love while he spun me around. For me, the one who had been fighting the idea of this kind of relationship, it happened one day, very quietly, when I looked up from my work and knew not having him in my life was simply not an option. I knew it would take some work, and I was ready.

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS Making it happen

Fifty flights later

OK, I thought I was ready. It’s easy to be confident and relaxed until you find yourself sitting in Terminal 1 of LAX with a flight that leaves in an hour.

If Casey and I were made into the stars of 2012’s hit romantic comedy about love and romance over many miles, I doubt my character would turn into Hollywood’s quirky new ‘It Girl.’ Quirky It Girls wear things besides leggings, and their hair probably isn’t permanently flat on the left side of their head because they frequently sleep against airplane windows.

“

‘ Two roads diverged in a wood, and II took the one less traveled by.’

I started to wonder if Robert Frost had fallen in love with someone really far away when he wrote that.

”

My flair for the dramatic, combined with a glass of wine, helped me decide yes, that’s exactly what had happened. I felt very wise and scholarly. I, too, fancied myself as standing at a fork in the road. I could either continue to do my own thing in Los Angeles, or I could take the uncertain road. The uncertain road, specifically, was the Friday evening, nonstop flight from LA to Denver. Frost continued, “And that has made all the difference.” “Well!” I concluded, “If Robert Frost can do it, so can I.” I decided another glass of wine would probably be a bad choice. I got on the plane.

The couple poses on Lookout Mountain above Golden, Colo.

But my weird hair has been worth it. In the time Casey and I have been together, our relationship has turned into something incredible. We meet every other weekend, either in LA, Colorado, or a new place altogether. We’ve explored tiny coastal regions in San Diego, attended film festivals and relaxed on trips to Telluride, Colo., explored and cooked in Aspen, Colo., wine tasted on California’s Central Coast, visited family and friends in the Midwest, eaten abundantly in Denver, and enjoyed long weekends of cooking at a ranch in New Mexico. And we’ve explored our home cities endlessly together. I don’t feel like our relationship is much different than others—we just work with some unique situations most couples won’t encounter (and some that all couples encounter!). Ours just tends to revolve around travel and communication. I’m proud Casey and I have made this relationship feel extremely normal, and we’ve developed some great relationship skills that work for us. We started in a strange way, so the idea of an unconventional relationship isn’t uncomfortable—we actually love it, and we have big plans for the future.

volume 4

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS Here are 10 things that have helped us along the way, and might be able to help you, too.

Make sure you’re ready.

It sounds easy, but you have to make sure you’re both willing to exert the energy to care for and maintain this relationship and the unique set of issues that might arise. In situations of distance where it might feel easier to just bail when things get rough, your solid commitment will make the difference. Make the choice at the beginning to treasure and tend this relationship, even when faced with strange circumstances. It can be hard to see your friends getting dressed up for dates while you’re going home to watch Arrested Development and Skype with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but soon you’ll love those nights.

Stay connected.

Casey and I are extraordinarily connected thanks to a number of electronic modes of communication. We Skype. Since the very beginning, Casey and I have spent nearly every evening together on Skype. This is a huge part of our relationship. In all of our time together, we have only spent a few nights apart. In the late evening, after our commitments are through, we connect to Skype and catch up with each other. Then, Casey edits photos, I work on projects, or we choose a Netflix movie to watch together on our tablets. Then we fall asleep. No matter what, we end our day together. It can be hard to get into the habit of Skyping with each other, but after some time it will feel natural. When Casey and I first started, I would put on a nice sweater, fix my hair and put on lip gloss. But what he couldn’t see was that I was wearing sweatpants. We also text. We’re just like any couple in that we text throughout the day. We are probably not just like any couple in that most of our messages are pictures of food. And we email. At the beginning, Casey and I exchanged enormous emails daily. Now, they are mostly short notes or funny cat pictures. Having this connection throughout the day is very important to us, and my colleagues think I just have an archive of cat pictures I randomly share with them. 20

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Make visits.

Casey hates to fly. Absolutely hates it. I, on the other hand, enjoy flying. So I do most of the air travel. Casey is a great host and entertainer, which means my air travel is rewarded with a full weekend of food, bike rides and whatever else he has planned for us in his gorgeous home city. We switch off when we can, and we both feel lucky and grateful the other does their part. It works very well for us. It’s important to talk about travel methods early, accept them and work with them. If your partner has a horrific fear of trains, don’t ask him or her to travel that way, even if it’s really convenient. Your short time together should be positive, and a partner on the verge of a panic attack is not one way to make that happen.

Set a schedule.

After trial and error, Casey and I figured out seeing each other every other weekend works for us. The time in between doesn’t feel hard, the weekends are rejuvenating and our relationship is at its best when we stick to that schedule. I’ve seen some couples go two months between each trip, and I applaud them. Different time spans work for different people. I’m not good at going more than two weeks between trips and I’ve accepted it. Realistically, sometimes you’ll have to go longer in between, and that won’t always be fun. I get pretty cranky when we have to go three weeks apart. Take a few trips to find your balance, and try to maintain it, even if it means more plane fare. It’s worth it.

Realize you’re not actually going to be broke.

These relationships can feel expensive due to the sheer amount of money you spend on travel. But don’t worry, you won’t really go broke. I can’t promise you won’t yell, “I could buy six pairs of shoes with what I spent on plane flights last month!” to your beloved at some point on Skype, though. I’m here to tell you that it happens. Just close your computer and take three deep breaths. The way I look at it, we’d spend a similar amount on dinners and dates throughout the month if we lived in the same city.

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Casey on a photography excursion in San Diego. volume 4

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Still, you can make it easier on yourself.

Here are some things that helped us: • Find an airline you like, and be as exclusive as possible. I’ve used one airline since shortly after I started traveling a lot, and they’ve rewarded me greatly. After signing up for their rewards program, I’ve received free flights, priority privileges, drink coupons and many other perks for my loyalty.

• Figure out the right day to buy your fare. I have great success with Tuesday morning flight purchases at least 3-4 weeks before our intended trip.

• For each meal, Casey and I automatically pull out each of our cards when it comes time to pay the bill. “Just split it down the middle!” is one of our most frequently used sayings. Of course, we don’t do this for special occasions or treats, but this has helped us save money and feel equal along the way. We do the same thing when we take long car trips by alternating who buys tanks of gas.

• PayPal has made our lives so much easier. Immediately after someone buys a flight or books a hotel room, the other will send them half the cost via PayPal. It’s habit by now, and it reminds us we’re doing this together.

• I get the daily Groupon and Living Social deals for both of our home cities. We’ve been able to save a lot of money using those deals.

• I never just book a hotel room. I research prices fanatically, which has saved us a lot of money. I also email our favorite hotels to let them know we are returning, and we’ve saved a lot doing that

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

as well. We join the Frequent Member clubs at our favorite places, from luxury hotels to chains, and we’ve received some great perks. Even a treat like late check-out makes signing up worth it.

Know when to spend the money.

Let me paint you a picture of how I used to travel to Colorado. I’d leave my office on Friday at 5 p.m., sit in LA rush hour and weekend traffic on one of the most congested routes in the city. Drop my car off at a parking service in a scary part of town. Wait, take a cheap shuttle over to LAX. Sit in an under-construction terminal where the only tempting food option was Cinnabon. Board a packed flight where I sat in the middle seat of the plane. Finally, I’d land in Colorado after midnight. When I arrived, I was stressed and cranky. On my way home, we’d wake up at 4:30 a.m. on Monday to catch my early flight. I’d stand in a very long security line. Run to catch my plane. Try to get some sleep on the flight home. Wait for the shuttle to get to my car. Drive an hour in traffic back to my office. Work until 5 p.m. From my office door to Casey’s door and back, it was seven hours of stress. Naturally, I became less excited about that process as time went on. We decided it was worth spending extra money on things to make this part of my life easier. We started by arranging for an airport shuttle to pick me up at my office and drop me off right in front of my terminal. I switched to an airline that had a nice terminal, with real food, and started accumulating points with them exclusively. I started spending the extra money for priority boarding and automatic check-in, so I always secure a window seat in the front of the plane. We signed me up for a subscription service for expedited security processing that moves me to the very front of the airport security line, so the process that took 45 minutes now takes less than five. Every few trips, I take an afternoon flight out of LA instead of a late evening flight, and a much later flight back home so we can have extra, relaxed time together.

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS We’ve hardly noticed the additional money we’ve paid, but we’ve definitely noticed a reduction in stress for this vital part of our relationship.

Date differently.

We do this in two ways. First, we stay home. My friends complain their partners never take them out on fancy, special dates. Their dates involve staying home, eating pizza, wearing sweatpants and according to them, slowly becoming overweight and undesirable.

little things matter. Second, we date electronically. Often, when in our separate locations, Casey and I will plan a meal, buy the ingredients and cook step-by-step together simultaneously while texting photo updates. I taught Casey to cook this way. We really enjoy these dinner dates. We also have date nights on Skype. We’ll select a movie on Netflix and watch it together on our tablets while keeping Skype active.

Have (and lean on) support.

I have an incredible support system in LA. Between work and my other commitments and projects, I’m fortunate to stay very busy. I have a strong group of friends who are also very familiar with Casey and know when I need some extra support or distraction. Casey is also busy with work, sports and photography, so he’s constantly taking photos, editing, or going on photography excursions. This makes the relationship feel easier than if one of us was busy and the other one felt bored and neglected. By having a lot of commitments and a strong social support to keep you busy when you’re having a hard time, the relationship will benefit as a result.

(Try to) argue well.

The couple gets together to attend MountainFilm festival in Telluride, Colo.

This sounded amazing, and I told Casey I wanted to do this immediately. Casey and I spend a lot of time eating at restaurants, going on trips and exploring. In this parallel universe of constant dates, sometimes the idea of staying home is really appealing. Some of my favorite nights happen when we eat Thai, watch marathons of The O.C. and go to bed embarrassingly early. Those things feel normal, and I love them. During those times, it feels like we’re any other couple who sees each other all the time. Those

Tones and intentions can be lost over text, email and even Skype. There’s not much that can make this feel easier, but it’s worth it to be as expressive as possible in communication, and resolve arguments as soon as possible. You are both human, with bad days, hurt feelings and sensitive moments. It’s easy to feel like you always have to be ‘on’ when you have such limited time with your partner, and that pressure can culminate in tension. When in the throes of a difficult conversation, passive-aggressive language can be disastrous. While it has no place in any relationship, it can be especially catastrophic when it induces emotional distance in a situation where physical distance is already present. When this happens, realize arguments can escalate at an astonishing rate. Stop immediately, remember why you are in this relationship, take a few moments to calm down and try to resolve the situation quickly with as little ego as possible. It needs to be about resolution, not who is right. volume 4

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Finally, have a plan.

This is a great time for Casey and me to have this lifestyle. We both have commitments in our own cities, but we also have a plan on how we will live in the same city soon enough, and build our future together. It’s important not to put pressure on how you will get to the same city, but it needs to be your goal. Having something to look forward to—a light at the end of the tunnel, if you will—will give you a lot more patience when you’re feeling challenged in your relationship. The greatest tip of all, distance or no distance, is finding a partner who is also your teammate. Knowing Casey and I chose this, and that we’re in this together, creates an empowering environment that tends s e c h t n to make everything else easy. on -dista part m a g I still get butterflies before on ve 14

e l o li er tim ect t clos e g ter g p en era es ex ovin C v e l A em Th ong up co befor om y of L hips r f s ics ud on tist he St elati a t t R S or ce f tan s i D

I see him, and often we seem more like a couple who just started dating than one who is established and going strong. Where other couples sometimes lose the excitement and luster, we get to experience those feelings for an extended amount of time. I may have flat airplane hair, persistent altitude nausea and moments where I miss him so much my emotions rival a Tori Spelling performance in a Lifetime movie, but I also have a partner who shows up at the airport with a stomach-soothing bottle of Perrier, or sends a perfectly timed text message suggesting we have a macaroni and cheese cooking date night when I’m having a rough day. How did we find each other, you’re wondering? For now, that’s a fun, strange story that stays between us. It may not be the cliched romantic comedy script, but for us it feels like we’re heading for a happy ending anyway.

Quick tips on loving from a distance Have a shared calendar Casey and I have a joint online calendar where we keep track of our trips and enter our own personal commitments to make planning easier. This makes planning travel a breeze.

Have traditions When Casey picks me up from the airport, he always shows up with a small treat, which is something I look forward to and appreciate. It has been everything from cookbooks to coffee. I always save him half of the free cookie I get on my flight. For special events, we have a tradition of exchanging gifts in the airport parking lot. We got some weird looks when people walked by while I was squealing and holding a KitchenAid mixer, but we don’t care. When you can’t be in the same city all of the time, make traditions in each city you find yourself in.

Keep it interesting If you aren’t able to meet in different places and find yourself switching off and on between your home cities, it’s worth it to spend one night ev24

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ery few weekends at a nice hotel in your city. The simple change in scenery for a night will feel like an extra treat.

Try not to count down This was so hard for me. During our first few weekends together, I would sit and think to myself, I only have 12 hours left before this is over. If you’re in the business of depressing yourself, that’s a stand-up technique. It was hard to stop, but self-induced misery gets old after awhile. I just try to block out those thoughts when I feel them coming. It gets easier after a few times.

The single best thing we do We never book a flight home for the evening. When you do that, your entire last day becomes focused around getting to the airport and flying home, no matter how late it is. You may think this doesn’t make a difference, but for us it does. I’d rather wake up really early, go through the airport process incoherently, sleep on the plane, work all day and head home feeling like it was a normal day. ◊ RETURN TO CONTENTS

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS

Learning to be in a ‘grown-up’ relationship A revelation in ways to find, keep love By Melanie Krakauer

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s I write this, my ex-boyfriend from college is celebrating his birthday.

I think later today I’ll send him some sort of birthday text. After all, it seems like the appropriate thing to do when you shared nearly three years with someone. I like to think we both value this biannual effort to reach out.

things. Why are they being so nit-picky and crazy? I thought. You can’t win like that. Now I see I only doomed myself to failure. I got hurt over and over. I blamed the guys for not giving me what I wanted, even though I rarely spoke up or implied anything was wrong.

Learning from the past For a long time, I assumed we were as close as it came. But sometime during the past few years, and One of my favorite lessons on the importance of especially last year, I found myself re-evaluating this speaking your mind when it comes to relationships relationship and others of the past. Slowly, I’m becomes from one of my friend’s parents. Her father ginning to discover how and mother were high different it is to maintain school sweethearts who COLLEGE RELATIONSHIPS a real, grown-up relationknew they were meant ship. BY THE NUMBERS to be together. Still, her

father proposed four Recent studies from Stanford University Grown-up relationship is times before her mother the term I’m using to diffound 72% of both sexes reported finally said yes. She told ferentiate from my forhaving at least one hookup by senior him she couldn’t get mer college self. But the year of college, while 24% of college married until he had correct term is probably seniors say they are virgins. his own house and two something like serious or cars. She was looking mature. I’m thinking of for stability and wouldn’t something a little more grown-up than a 72-day marriage à la Kim Karsettle for less. dashian. Eventually, in her late 20s and his early 30s, more than a decade since the beginning of their Coming to terms with my need to ‘win’ relationship, he fulfilled her criteria and they were married. This depiction of a woman calling the What you need to know is for a long time I had a shots in the relationship helped me realize the truth deep-seated need to ‘win’ in relationships. behind grown-up relationships: I’ll never get what I That meant withholding affection, emotion and want unless I make it clear. actions from my partner until he took the reins. I thought I saved myself from showing weakness by Open communication: satisfying or not openly displaying how much I cared. I could terrifying? handle long gaps of communication because I waited just as long to respond to texts. I could I can recall countless occasions during college handle pangs of jealousy when I caught him flirting when I virtually begged the universe for a because I busied myself in other conversations. I relationship with open communication. But after all could handle the rare emotional conversations, but I’d learned, it still scared me to break my old habits. I was never the first to say, “I miss you.” It hit me hardest when a guy I had been seeing—or And I thought the only way to feel special was to be rather, engaging in several years of flirtatiousness the girl who could put up with it. Who toughed out and back-and-forth visits—decided he wanted to the rough situations and played the ‘game’ better take the next step and become exclusive. It was and stronger than most guys. But even worse, I the first time in my entire life someone told me thought this was a good thing! they wanted commitment. In the words of my sister, “Your future husband wants to date you!” I I thought I was different from other girls because panicked. I needed to be sure I was voicing my own I could put my own needs aside and play it cool. I looked down on girls who got so upset about little wants, too. 26 FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS

“The more I gave love the way I always dreamed of...the more love I found in return.”

I knew this next step would take me into a world I didn’t have much experience in. When I was in college, commitment in a relationship was the ultimate sign I’d ‘won’ the game. But in this scenario, it held more serious connotations of a long-term investment. I would need to take my communication to the next level instead of falling back on old tricks.

happens when two people give, not when they withhold.

Resolving to make the most of love

As we moved forward, we reached a compromise. Each stating what we wanted out of the relationship: I agreed to stop offering ‘safe’ comments with limited affection, and he agreed to open up more emotionally.

As 2011 vanished into 2012, I vowed to hold myself accountable to several love resolutions this year. It’s time for me to confidently tackle this grown-up relationship head on in order to make it my most mature and meaningful one yet.

I almost feel silly for how long it has taken me to realize no girl can ever be the cool girlfriend forever. I was compromising part of my sanity in order to achieve this before.

And I started feeling special for a whole new reason.

I promise to be upfront about my expectations and intentions so we don’t waste each other’s time, and more open-minded because love can be shown in many different ways. I will remember to listen, instead of jumping into how I can relate, because that’s when the most important conversations occur. I vow to appreciate the people around me who make me happy, and make an effort to reciprocate. I want to make an effort to include every aspect in the way I show love: my words, affection, time and service.

I have a sense of pride as I move forward. I learned fate is in my hands. I learned I need to ask for what I want. And most importantly, I learned a relationship

And please, if you catch me breaking my rules, remind me to slip on my big girl pants and act like a grown-up. ◊

Putting yourself out there can come with rewards As I dove into my new relationship, I attempted to love without fear and speak my mind without analysis. The more I gave love the way I always dreamed of—sending thoughtful gifts, offering support, planning meaningful (completely sober) dates—the more love I found in return.

YOUR AD HERE If you are interested in advertising your brand, product or company to Facets readers, email advertise@thefacetsmag.com for rates and availability. RETURN TO CONTENTS

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LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS

When celebrating

Mr. or Mrs. Right goes ve From breakups to cheating significant others, the day of love can sometimes be a nightmare

By Kathy Khazanova • Photography by Lynn W. Conway

s convenience store seasonal aisles become polluted with pink and red heartshaped candy and cards, many among us cringe at the thought of another Valentine’s Day. Whether this dread is caused by horrible past Valentine’s Day experiences, the pressure of creating a cliché, yet unforgettable date, or the ever-increasing prices of office delivery floral arrangements, we may never know. One thing we do know? Those who dread Valentine’s Day are not alone. Here are a few of stories from those who’ve been scarred by Valentine’s Days of the past.

Just rub it in why don’t you I was studying abroad for the spring term of my sophomore year of college when my boyfriend and I decided to break up. For a whole semester I had been telling him long-distance relationships don’t work, and so we decided to end the ordeal ahead of time rather than create stressful semesters apart. My flight was booked to leave on Valentine’s Day, and of course I was miserable. As I walked into the airport I saw couples leaving on trips together and others reuniting by excitedly greeting each other. A pit in my stomach grew the whole day wondering if I had made the right decision. In the end, it was definitely the right choice because it didn’t work out between the two of us when I came back to the States, but I wish I had known that while suffering through all the airport grabbing and smooching. -Amy, 24, St. Louis

Really?! It was Valentine’s Day in 2007 and classes at the University of Illinois were cancelled due to snowfall—for the first time in almost 30 years. It was snow day number two at the university after Champaign, Ill., was hit with three feet of snow. Although my car was pummeled by the snow, I felt I should take advantage of this day, a day which 28

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ry ,v

could have otherwise been devoted to playing video games, eating pizza and getting drunk. I woke up early and decided to head to my girlfriend’s school, the good ol’ cream and crimson, Indiana University. After futility set in with the daunting task of removing all the snow from my car by myself, five frat brothers came out to help with the excavation. After two hours, I finally got the tiny car out of the parking lot and down the driveway. The drive to Bloomington, Ind., in good weather is about two hours. In this case, it took me four. Plus an additional two hours to dig out my car, and it was approximately six hours of total travel time. However, the heartwarming surprise of a Valentine’s Day visit was seemingly well worth the effort. Once I arrived I headed to the sorority where my girlfriend was a member. To my surprise, she wasn’t there. Later I learned she was on her way back from another guy’s place. I waited with her friends, girls I knew from my past visits to the sorority, until she showed up half an hour later with a teddy bear with the price tag still on it. I had roses and a hotel reservation because I couldn’t stay at the sorority. Later we went to her favorite restaurant, we ate, I paid—and then she quickly, without any sort of forewarning, broke up with me. “I want to see what college is like single,” were her words. Not that I’m cheap, but couldn’t she do this before I paid for the meal? Taken aback, I thought it was a joke, but she stood pat. And then the frustration set in. To recap: • Physical labor: shoveling car out of snow piles for two hours • Sacrifice: missed an awesome weekend • Valentine’s Day: ruined • Four-and-a-half-year relationship: done

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS The initial hour after I dropped her off, I sat in the hotel drinking by myself. It was probably the most humiliating and awful moment of my life. But soon I got a knock on my door, and was surprised to learn one of my buddies was there for a volleyball tournament and had to stay an extra night, and just happened to be on the same floor of the same hotel I was at. I told him the entire story of the break up while we hung out and got drunk, and he helped cheer me up a little bit. It was a tough night, really tough, but if it wasn’t for his company, I would have totally shunned Valentine’s Day forever.

me on the way home from dinner and my date was forced to drop me off right away.

Something like three and a half years later, the exgirlfriend apologized to me. I bet she hasn’t had a good Valentine’s Day since.

While Valentine’s Day may forever haunt some, there are others who have been able to turn their disdain into a positive experience:

-Jonathan, 25, Chicago

Caught in the spotlight On one particular Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend of only three weeks took me out to dinner. I was a sophomore in high school and he was a senior, but despite this attractive age difference I no longer wanted anything to do with him. I told my mom to call me during the date to ‘save me’ by telling me I had to come home. As it were, she called

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Once he parked the car outside my house, he decided he wasn’t quite ready for the date to end and began crawling into the back seat. I took this as my sign to flee, so I opened my door and the car light came on. Just at this moment, my dad peeked out of the curtain to see the boy crawling back to the front seat, illuminated by the car light. Whoops. -Jessica, 23, Chicago

Unconventional romance My boyfriend and I hate Valentine’s Day, so I was surprised when he told me he planned something really romantic one year. Turns out it was a big joke. He took me to dinner and then to the Monster Jam Truck Rally. Nothing says romance like Chilli’s and trucks! ◊ -Annie, 24, Chicago

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Chicagoans: interested in being photographed and interviewed for a future fashion feature?

Email info@thefacetsmag.com if interested.

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

• FASHION/BEAUTY •

Black, white and red all over Putting the mod in models By Brittany Abeijon • Photography by Lynn W. Conway • Makeup by Alison Penner

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ow that the stress of the holidays and the excitement of the new year are over, it’s... still winter. Whether it was the bleak weather or the monotony of remembered routines, we decided we needed to have a little fun with this issue’s fashion editorial. And that meant throwing off our coats, cramming hand warmers in our pockets and shoes and trying to stand still—despite violent chills and chattering teeth—long enough to snap a few (ahem, hundred) photos. We had gingerbread coffee, chocolate chip scones and a fuzzy, black puppy to keep us warm and happy during the snowy shoot, and one very necessary car break to blast the heat in an attempt to reverse 10 icicles that had taken the place of toes on our models’ exposed feet. Dressed in black and set among a blanket of white, our accessories contrasted in shades of red against the brazen daylight—and our extremities did, too. One miniskirt, two pairs of bright lips, three blocky colors and four rows of faux eyelashes, and we were in a mod mood.

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FASHION/BEAUTY

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Ann Kruk, 25 Medical Assistant Lake Zurich, Ill. STYLE FASHION Q&A What do you love most about your style? My style is typically simple and classic, with a twist, like a contrasting color or a funky accessory. What helps you make it through winter looking stylish? A little bit of color goes a long way. Most of my winter wardrobe consists of neutral colors, so I like to add a splash of color to my accessories and makeup to spice things up during the long winter months. What is your go-to beauty item right now? Moisturizer! Nothing looks more drab than dull, dry skin and lips. I hydrate my skin in the morning with Neutrogena Healthy Defense with SPF 55. Yes, you still get exposed to damaging sun rays in Chicago in the winter. In the evening I slather on a few extra layers of a heavy cream like Trixera balm. For the lips I apply Aquaphor ointment liberally. What did you enjoy most about the photo shoot? Spending the afternoon with fun, talented women! 34

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FASHION/BEAUTY

Wearing Sheer black top – Target Black skinny jeans – Forever21 White patent heels – Payless Pearl earrings – Target Red envelope clutch – Charming Charlie

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Ashley Babich, 25 Senior Account Executive Naperville, Ill. STYLE FASHION Q&A What do you love most about your style? I go for comfort. I could live in leggings, boots and a baggy shirt if weather always permitted. What helps you make it through winter looking stylish? Scarves. I love scarves. Infinity scarves are my current obsession. What is your go-to beauty item right now? Bronzer. I go for the convenient and inexpensive brand, Physicians Formula. I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get through the winter without it. What did you enjoy most about the photo shoot? Having my pup, Callie, be a part of it! Her face full of snow was adorable.

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FASHION/BEAUTY

Wearing White infinity scarf – Target; Black lace shirt – Guess; Black skirt – Express; Red patent platform shoes – Guess at DSW; Bracelet stack – Swarovski and M2 Boutique in Lakeview, Chicago; Watch – Bulova ◊

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Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss out! Check out our social media vehicles between issues for sneak peeks, behind-the-scenes photos and inside information.

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

FASHION/BEAUTY

What colors look best on you? Discover which seasonal color palette makes you stand out, look stunning By Megan Kelly

hades of peach and turquoise take up three-quarters of Judy Bartonne’s closet. She owns many pairs of navy, beige, camel and warm-colored footwear, yet her shoe rack is absent of any black. “I haven’t bought black shoes in 25 years,” she said, laughing. “It doesn’t go with anything I own!”

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FASHION/BEAUTY Bartonne, founder of Judith Bartonne Skin Care in Akron, Ohio, knows a little about color. She’s been in the skin care business for more than 40 years and worked with cosmetics for about half her career. Throughout her career she’s been a color analyst for hundreds of clients, yet the question remains: why doesn’t she own even one pair of black pumps, a staple for today’s fashionista? Simple. It’s not in her color palette and not worth her time and money. And unless black is your color, she says it’s not worth yours either. “Understanding one’s color palette is almost the essential core of understanding how to dress and what makeup to wear,” Bartonne said. “If you wear a T-shirt that looks like a knapsack but is the right color, it’ll still look great because your skin, eyes and hair color will blend with it.” And these proper colors would be...? For the clueless, Bartonne suggests hiring a color analyst who cloaks clients in white and uses color swatches to determine their best colors. However, this may not be economical for some, with consultations ranging from $25 to more than $200. However, no need to fret. It’s easy to figure it out on your own. In 1980, personal beauty consultant Carole Jackson published a revolutionary book, Color Me Beautiful, which demonstrated how people could improve their looks astronomically by simply wearing colors complementing their natural coloring. Jackson divided people into four categories: spring, summer, autumn and winter, with each season having its own accompanying color palette. “I’m a spring; peach and turquoise naturally look good on me,” Barnes said. To learn your season and the colors that make your face dazzle, follow these simple steps.

Discover your skin tone Does your skin have warm (yellow) or cool (pink) undertones? To find out, wear a white shirt and sit in natural light—this will make your face a neutral canvas. Hold up gold jewelry to your face. Then silver jewelry. Determine which looks better on you. If you look better in gold jewelry, you have warm undertones. If you look best in silver, you have cool undertones. For those of you who don’t own gold or silver jewelry, head to a department store and test yourself there. 40 FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

Find your intensity How intense are your features? When you wear a color, you don’t want others to notice the color, you want them to notice your face. When wearing a vibrant color, if the color stands out more than your face, your features have low intensity. However, having too little color can be a problem for some as well. “If the color is too light and, consequently, washes your face out, you’ll know you need a greater amount of color intensity,” Bartonne said. People with this issue can be categorized as having high intensity.

Putting it all together If you have warm undertones and low intensity, you’re most likely a spring, while if you’re warm and intense, you’re probably an autumn. If you have cool, intense undertones, you’re probably a winter, while if you have cool tones but soft features, you’re most likely a summer.

Discovering your colors Once you’ve identified your season, you can start finding the colors that make you gorgeous.

FASHION/BEAUTY

Spring

“Pastels are generally the way to go for springs,” Bartonne said. • Best colors: ivory, light beige, camel, honey, light navy, light gold, yellowgreen, apricot, peach, salmon, coral, orangered, light and dark periwinkle, bright aqua, warm turquoise • Hottest lipstick shades: salmon pink and light apricot • Celebrity: Amy Adams, Cate Blanchett and Marilyn Monroe

Summer “The summer season can wear colors that aren’t bright, but have a lot of color in them,” Bartonne advised.

• Best colors: soft white, cocoa, rose brown, grayed navy, gray-blue, powder blue, pastel aqua, blue-green, light lemon yellow, powder pink, rose, watermelon, burgundy, lavender, mauve, plum • Hottest lipstick shades: rose pink and soft plum • Celebrity: Farrah Fawcett, Grace Kelly and Hilary Swank volume 4

FASHION/BEAUTY

Autumn: “Autumns can wear all the colors of the leaves,” Bartonne said.

• Best colors: oyster white, coffee brown, dark chocolate brown, mahogany, camel, gold, deep peach, mustard, pumpkin, rust, orange, dark tomato red, chartreuse, moss green, olive green, turquoise

Winter:

• Hottest lipstick shades: mocha and cinnamon

“Jewel tones look dazzling on winters,” Bartonne said.

• Celebrity: Lucille Ball, Jennifer Garner and Lindsay Lohan

• Best Colors: white, gray, black, navy blue, royal blue, hot turquoise, lemon yellow, true green, emerald, shocking pink, magenta, fuchsia, royal purple, true red, icy shades of any color • Hottest lipstick shades: fuchsia and burgundy • Celebrity: Halle Berry, Lucy Liu and Elizabeth Taylor

Rules were made for breaking So you’re a spring, but you’re also obsessed with that hot pink number you wore out Friday night. Was that really a bad color 42

decision? Maybe, according to the Color Me Beautiful method. However, Lourdes Bolado and many modern ladies would disagree.

wear any color she wants,” said the Jones New York clothing specialist Bolado. “All that matters is how she puts it together and her confidence.”

“Any woman can

Still, Bartonne certainly

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feels confident in her three-quarters-peachand-turquoise closet. “I’m drawn to my colors,” she said. “Not only do they look good on me, I feel great in them as well!” ◊ RETURN TO CONTENTS

• FOOD/DRINK •

Dinner and a movie Spend a night in with authentic tapas and Vicky Cristina Barcelona By Brittany Abeijon and Tom Salek • Photography by Lynn W. Conway

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FOOD/DRINK

only 10 minutes to cook.

iscover the sights, sounds and tastes of Spain with our hand-picked selections for this issue’s Dinner and a movie, a new feature where we choose a food and film pairing, show you how to cook it and give you a quick review of the movie.

is looking to spend time relaxing away from her ex. While Vicky (Rebecca Hall), months away from getting married, seeks to learn more about the culture of the Catalonia region of Spain for a graduate thesis. Matters get complicated when both Vicky and Cristina become fascinated with Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem), a local artist, and his hot-tempered ex-wife, Maria Elena (Penélope Cruz).

Spice up a date night by cooking tapas and knocking back a few bottles of Alhambra while watching Woody Allen’s 2008 film Vicky As the romance heats Cristina Barcelona. up on screen, turn up Allen’s film follows the oven for some Vicky and Cristina, two Pimientos Asados, or long-time friends who fire-roasted peppers. decide to spend the This simple tapa is a summer visiting relatives tasty and colorful work in Barcelona. Straight of art. Even better, it’s off a breakup, Cristina a breeze to make— (Scarlett Johansson) minimal prep time and 44 FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

Despite its romantic flare, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is filled with tons of laughs. And while Allen’s script may not be cheesy, Queso de cabra al horno certainly is. Served on buttered, toasted baguettes, this herbed goat cheese baked in crushed tomatoes is so simple to put together, you’ll quickly add it to your list of go-to appetizers for future fiestas. The film’s characters may have neurotic tendencies, but that doesn’t mean you should be chicken to give Pincho de pollo y chorizo a try. Served over Spanish rice, this marinated chicken and chorizo tapa is mildly spicy and paired best with a cool bottle of one of Spain’s tastiest beers, Alhambra. So spend the night in and enjoy the flavors of Spain, while taking in the beautiful scenery of Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Filled with dry, witty humor and terrific performances, the film goes down smooth, just like a chilled glass of white Sangria.

FOOD/DRINK TAPAS Pimientos Asados (Fire-roasted, tri-color peppers with Spanish olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette) • 3 whole peppers (one yellow, orange and red) • 2 cloves garlic • Spanish olive oil • Balsamic vinegar 1. Remove seeds from the peppers, then cut each pepper in slices and place on a cookie sheet. 2. Peel and mince garlic cloves. Place minced garlic in a small bowl and add a few tablespoons of oil and vinegar. Mix and pour over the peppers. 3. Broil peppers in oven for about 10 minutes.

SERVING TIP Great hot or cold, serve peppers by themselves, top on sliced bread or use as a side dish with meat or fish.

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FOOD/DRINK

Queso de cabra al horno (Herbed goat cheese baked in crushed tomatoes, served with buttered, toasted baguettes) • 8-10 ounce package of plain goat cheese • 1 9-ounce can of crushed tomatoes • 1 french baguette, cut in 1-inch slices • Butter for toasting bread • Fresh parsley • Garlic powder • Salt and pepper, to taste 1. After buttering baguette slices, place on cookie sheet and toast under broiler until desired shade. Wrap in aluminum foil and place somewhere to keep them warm. 2. Place goat cheese in ceramic baking dish or large ramekin, and empty can of crushed tomatoes around the goat cheese so the top of cheese remains uncovered by the sauce. 3. Broil dish for 10 minutes. Cover top of cheese with aluminum foil if you do not want it to brown. Sprinkle with fresh parsley, garlic powder, salt and pepper before serving. Serve with warm, buttered baguette slices. 46

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The Weinstein Company

FOOD/DRINK

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FOOD/DRINK

Pincho de pollo y chorizo (Grilled brochette of marinated chicken and chorizo served over brown Spanish rice) For meat: • 2 imported Spanish chorizos, sliced into 1/2inch rounds • 2 skinless, boneless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch cubes • 1 cup Spanish olive oil • 4-6 skewers, soaked in water For rice: • 2 Tbsp Spanish olive oil • 1 cup uncooked brown rice

2. While marinating, heat oil in a large, heavy skillet over medium heat. 3. Mix rice into skillet, stirring often. When rice begins to brown, stir in chicken broth and salsa. Reduce heat, cover and simmer 20 minutes, until liquid has been absorbed. 4. Remove brochettes from the oil and shake off excess oil. Heat the grill or pan until very hot, place the brochettes on the grill, and sear on all sides, turning frequently until cooked through, about 7 minutes 5. Spoon rice onto a serving plate, and place grilled brochettes on top of rice.

• 1 cup chicken broth • 1 cup chunky salsa 1. Starting and ending with chorizo, thread skewers with alternating pieces of chorizo and chicken. Set the brochettes in a shallow bowl, cover completely with olive oil, and allow to marinate for 2-4 hours. 48

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Time- and caloriesaving tip: Use minute brown rice instead of regular, and mix with water instead of of broth.

FOOD/DRINK

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FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

FOOD/DRINK DRINKS White sangria • 3 Tbsp sugar • 3 shots Calvados, or other apple liquor • 1 lime, sliced • 1 lemon, sliced • 2 ripe peaches, cut into wedges • 3 ripe green apples seeded and cut into wedges • 1 bottle white Rioja Spanish wine, or other dry white wine • 1 pint raspberries • Ginger ale, for topping off glasses 1. Combine sugar, Calvados, lime, lemon, peaches and apples in a large pitcher. 2. Cover with 1 bottle of Rioja wine and chill sangria for several hours. 3. To serve, spoon fruit into glasses, adding a few fresh raspberries in each glass. Pour wine over top of the fruit and top off with a splash of ginger ale. ◊

RETURN TO CONTENTS

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• ENTERTAINMENT •

THE BEST

Academy Award nominees—

and the most overrated My guide to the top movies of 2011 By Tom Salek

It’s award season time. No matter how hard you may try to get away from them, it’s almost impossible to avoid talk of Golden Globe awards or Academy Award nominations in film advertisements. Whether you love them or hate them, the Academy Awards are the most well-known and prestigious of these popularity contests. There’s no denying that for Hollywood, the Oscars hold a lot of clout.

With a large number of films and performances nominated this year, it’s hard to know which of these movies are worth seeing. Being a film buff, I’ve seen almost all the nominated movies and I’m here to offer my Oscar predictions in the biggest categories of the night and an alternative list of best pictures of the year. So before you check out all the major nominees, find out which flicks you should see and which one’s you might want to skip.

Before Oscar night on Sunday, Feb. 26, make sure to tweet your predictions to Facets and see if you can outguess me. Include hashtag #outguessTom to cast your votes!

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i ov m e n ear i p n he y o y t of t M

Contagion Drive Hugo The Ides of March Margin Call Melancholia Midnight in Paris Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy The Tree of Life

ENTERTAINMENT

O S C A R PREDICTIONS Best Picture: The Artist The Descendants Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close The Help Hugo Midnight in Paris Moneyball The Tree of Life War Horse

What do I think will win: Hugo A number of critics think because The Artist won the Golden Globe for best musical/comedy, it’s a shoe-in for the Best Picture Oscar, but I don’t think it will play out that way. I believe the award will go to Martin Scorsese’s Hugo. For starters, Hugo is a far better film. Secondly, The Artist isn’t innovative or mainstream enough to win Hollywood’s premiere award. While The Artist and Hugo both take a nostalgic view of Hollywood, Scorsese’s film does this in a far more interesting and unique way. The Artist looks back in time and attempts to recreate the look of a classical black and white, silent Hollywood film to showcase the charm of cinema. Hugo, on the other hand, takes a look back at early cinema and one of the most important filmmakers. However,

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ENTERTAINMENT

Hugo is more innovative and stylistic because it also looks forward. Scorsese’s film pushes filmmaking to a new level, proving you can use 3D for more than just flash, in a way that enhances the storytelling component of a film. Just two years ago, critics and audiences were awe-struck by James Cameron’s (massively overrated, in my opinion) Avatar and thought it should take the Oscar for Best Picture. Although the award went to an equally overrated film, The Hurt Locker, I believe Hollywood and audiences are still looking for a way to legitimize and make 3D an important filmgoing experience. Therefore, while The Artist can give audiences a glimpse into what it’s like to watch a silent film in 2012, after leaving the theater most people won’t want to go and see a real, great silent work. In contrast, Hugo’s masterful use of 3D buys into Hollywood’s love for this new technology and, at least for me, proves this could be used powerfully in films of the future. While The Artist has a nostalgic factor and is a great looking picture, Hugo does the same thing but convinces audiences they should continue to crave 3D movies—and, cough, more profits for film producers.

What film could pull a surprising underdog win: The Help While I wouldn’t put my money on The Help winning Best Picture, I wouldn’t rule it out completely. One of the biggest factors for predicting the winner of this prestigious award is box office performance and audience likability, and The Help is the most commercially successful film among the bunch. It has currently racked up nearly $170 million at the box office—nearly $100 million more than the next highest-grossing picture. The film also has an inspiring, crowd-cheering message behind it, and I wouldn’t rule out its ability to quietly snag the award from the other top contenders.

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

What do I want to see win Best Picture: Midnight in Paris Woody Allen’s finest film since 2005’s Match Point and his funniest film in more than a decade, Midnight in Paris is an absolute joy to watch. The film follows an American writer on vacation in Paris who manages to travel back in time to the 1920s and come across famous writers like Ernest Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald, and surrealists like Salvador Dali. From Allen’s witty script to the masterful use of Cole Porter music and historical characters, everything in this picture works so perfectly. Although not as challenging or unconventional as Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy or The Tree of Life, Midnight in Paris shows that even after forty years, Allen can make a charming romantic comedy. And not surprisingly, the film also continues to prove Allen is one of America’s finest filmmakers.

ENTERTAINMENT

Most overrated film nominated: The Descendants While I liked The Descendants, I didn’t think it was spectacular. Although George Clooney and Shailene Woodley give great performances, I felt the entire film fell flat because of its unsuccessful blend of serious drama, dark comedy and family nostalgia. The film does tackle difficult subject matter: Clooney’s character struggles to help his two daughters cope with an accident that has left their mother on the verge of death. At the same time, Clooney’s character learns his wife was cheating on him with another man. Don’t get me wrong, there were times the director,

Alexander Payne, successfully blended drama with dark comedy. However, the movie seemed less interested in examining the pains of its main characters and more interested in capturing the beauty of Hawaii and delivering a far too sentimental ending. Although I enjoyed the movie, I don’t feel it was one of the strongest films of the year or that it comes anywhere close to being one of the best pictures by Payne. I should make note my apathy toward The Descendants may also stem from the fact I saw it in a theater filled with a number of people who didn’t understand the moments of dark humor in the picture—several times, half of the movie theater shushed anyone who chuckled or laughed aloud.

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ENTERTAINMENT

Actor in a Leading Role: Demián Bichir in A Better Life George Clooney in The Descendants Jean Dujardin in The Artist Gary Oldman in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Brad Pitt in Moneyball

Who do I think will win: George Clooney Although all the nominees give great performances, Clooney will win the award based on his consistency over the years. Clooney also delivered a noteworthy performance in his own film, The Ides of March. Another factor playing into his win is that Academy members will want to recognize The Descendants with a few major awards throughout the night. Fox Searchlight Pictures

Who do I want to win: Gary Oldman I absolutely loved Oldman in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. His portrayal of the elderly spy, George Smiley, is fantastic. Oldman does what few actors can do: he’s able to convey emotion and character depth without saying a word. Oldman’s performance is just one part of an incredible film that should have gotten a Best Picture nomination.

StudioCanal

Who got snubbed: Ryan Gosling This was a great year for Gosling. He was in a ton of movies. Whether you’re looking at Drive, The Ides of March or Crazy, Stupid, Love. the man gives a terrific performance. Plus, these three performances prove he can successfully play roles in action, drama and comedy films.

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

ENTERTAINMENT

Actor in a Supporting Role: Kenneth Branagh in My Week with Marilyn Jonah Hill in Moneyball Nick Nolte in Warrior Christopher Plummer in Beginners Max von Sydow in Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Who will win: Christopher Plummer Based off wins from previous award shows, I’d say Plummer has the best shot. In Beginners, Plummer plays a gay, elderly man who comes out to his adult son. At 82, Plummer has only received one previous Oscar nomination, despite being one of the most consistent actors over the years.

Who do I want to win: Anyone but Jonah Hill Whether you’re looking at Branagh, Nolte, Plummer or von Sydow, all these actors give performances worthy of an Oscar. The films/roles they’re nominated for this year may not be their best, but throughout the years each has delivered great performances. I wouldn’t mind seeing any of them win the award. However, I would be upset if Hill was awarded for Moneyball. Although he wasn’t bad in the film, his performance didn’t stand out, nor was it different than most of his other work.

Who got snubbed: Albert Brooks for Drive and John Goodman for The Artist I thought Brooks was fantastic playing the bad guy in Drive and deserved a nomination at the very least. Despite not getting nominated, I like Brooks’ humorous attitude the morning of Oscar nominations, tweeting, “I got ROBBED. I don’t mean the Oscars, I mean literally. My pants and shoes have been stolen.” Goodman also delivers a great performance in The Artist. In fact, he’s the first one in the film to deliver a spoken line. Like many of the other nominees, Goodman’s performance isn’t his best, but it was definitely more noteworthy than Hill’s. volume 4

ENTERTAINMENT

Actress in a Leading Role: Glenn Close in Albert Nobbs Viola Davis in The Help Rooney Mara in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady Michelle Williams in My Week with Marilyn

Who will win and who do I want to win: Viola Davis The favorite of critics and audiences alike, I think Davis stands a good chance for picking up the award for her work in The Help. While many believe Meryl Streep may take the award, I think the Academy will award Davis for her strong performance of a middle-aged maid in 1960s America.

Most overrated: Rooney Mara I saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo twice and enjoyed the film a lot more on the second viewing. However, I can’t say I was particularly won over by Mara’s performance. She certainly looks the role of Lisbeth Salander, but doesn’t quite have the intensity needed for the role. And, like the film itself, Mara’s performance is too much like its Swedish counterpart to really warrant any top-of-the-year award.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay): The Descendants Hugo The Ides of March Moneyball Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Who will win: The Descendants While not a perfect script, The Descendants will most likely grab this award to make up for not winning Best Picture.

Who do I want to win: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy or Moneyball While two completely different films and books, adapting these complex works to the screen was no doubt a challenging process. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy chops the complex spy narrative into a digestible (and cohesive) two-hour film script, while still following the novel. Similarly, Moneyball takes a story about baseball statistics and translates it into a compelling narrative that’s entertaining to sports lovers and non-sports lovers alike. 58 FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

Touchstone Pictures

ENTERTAINMENT

Actress in a Supporting Role: Bérénice Bejo in The Artist Jessica Chastain in The Help Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids Janet McTeer in Albert Nobbs Octavia Spencer in The Help

Who will win: Bérénice Bejo Critics and audiences both seem to love Bejo’s performance as an up-and-coming silent film actress in The Artist. While she doesn’t exactly have the star qualities that were popular in late 1920s, early 1930s Hollywood film industry, her heartfelt performance is the kind the Academy loves to award. Both The Artist and her character have the charm to win several awards.

Who do I want to win: Melissa McCarthy I’m not going to deny how much I’d love to see McCarthy win the award. She was probably the funniest part of Bridesmaids and gave one of the most memorable performances of the year. Plus, I’m sure she’d deliver an equally memorable acceptance speech.

The Weinstein Company

Directing: Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist Alexander Payne for The Descendants Martin Scorsese for Hugo Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris Terrence Malick for The Tree of Life

Who will win and who do I want to win: Michel Hazanavicius

Universal Pictures

Who got snubbed: Shailene Woodley in The Descendants I may not have been won-over by The Descendants, but I thought Clooney and Woodley were the highlight of the film. It’s a shame Woodley didn’t get nominated for her terrific performance as a teenager struggling to help her father and younger sister prepare for the death of their mother. Despite being a film that tackles a depressing and dark subject matter, Clooney and Woodley are what fill the work with humanity and make it interesting to watch.

After conducting an immense amount of research about silent film narratives and technical production, Hazanavicius managed to make The Artist. At a time when 3D and CGI are the norm in Hollywood, Hazanavicius, a French filmmaker, came to Hollywood and made a critically acclaimed nostalgia film in the look and style of the late 1920s. Shooting the film in the full frame aspect ratio, at a slightly lower frame rate (22 frames per second), and converting the footage to black and white in post-production, The Artist is a great looking film that successfully shows the vision of its filmmaker. Hazanavicius’s audacity will most likely pay off on Oscar night.

Most overrated: Alexander Payne I’m a huge fan of Payne’s other films like Sideways and Election, but I thought The Descendants fell short of what it could have been. Although Payne needed to respect the novel the film is based on, the overall tone of this film was too inconsistent. There were times Payne was more interested in showing off overly long scenic shots of Hawaii, rather than the humanity of his two leads (Clooney and Woodley).

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ENTERTAINMENT

Writing (Original Screenplay): The Artist Bridesmaids Margin Call Midnight in Paris A Separation

Who has the strongest chance to win and who do I want to win: Midnight in Paris Despite his ambivalence for award ceremonies, the Academy loves Woody Allen’s writing and I think they’ll honor him again this year. Midnight in Paris is Allen’s 15th nomination for Best Screenplay and his strongest film in years. It’s a return to his renowned witty dialogue and amusing neurotic characters. While he won two Academy Awards for writing in the past, I think Midnight in Paris will be the third writing Oscar for Allen.

Sony Pictures Classics

Who has a good chance to win and doesn’t deserve it: The Artist I personally don’t believe it will win this award, but I wouldn’t be that surprised if it did. The film is a crowd-pleaser and a different take on older, classic Hollywood films like Singin’ in the Rain. I don’t think the film warrants an award for its script because it’s pretty conventional. It’s a typical, ragsto-riches Hollywood story—and also riches-torags-to-riches—and rather than doing something new and innovative, it is more cliched than anything else. ◊

For a full list of nominees or to cast your votes for who should win at this year’s Oscars, visit the official Oscar website to make your picks online and share with friends on Facebook, or sit down with this printable version while you watch. 60

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ENTERTAINMENT

Unofficially Irish Dear diary, can I handle it?

By Renee Mailhiot Illustration by Rachel Kosmal

March 1, 2012

March 2, 2012

10:34 p.m. - Tomorrow is the day. I’ve got my outdated, but festively green fanny pack ready with the essentials: phone, money, debit card, ID, ibuprofen for the midday slump and green beads for extra party garb. Yes, tomorrow is Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day, the infamous holiday at the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign. Local bar owners created the event in 1996 as a way for students to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day—and the bars to bring in business—because it typically occurs during spring break. Wait, you seriously don’t remember, diary? I mean, I guess the past few years are hazy to me, too. Let me remind you.

7 a.m. - My alarm goes off and I spring up. I throw on my green T-shirt that reads ‘Irish whiskey makes me frisky’ across the front. I get ready. My roommates are waiting with celebratory mimosas to kick off our morning. Cheers!

To put it simply, everyone is Irish on Unofficial. The event usually takes place a few weeks before the actual holiday, and always on a Friday. Diary, I’m not proud of skipping my 9 a.m. graphics lab in honor of the event, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Some students start the festivities as early as 6 a.m., and there’s no way I’m playing catch-up after anxiously sitting through class.

8:57 a.m. - This is getting lame. Off to the bars.

This all-day drink-fest draws students from all over the Midwest. Last year I housed friends from Illinois State University and Eastern Illinois University, and knew others who came from Indiana University, Michigan State and some from even farther. This year I have no visitors, so it should make the day go a bit smoother. From house parties to apartment keggers, green beer served at bars to frats overflowing with liquor, I’m ready for it. However, I’m a bit nervous. My track record, as you know, diary, isn’t very impressive. I rarely make it to bar close. How will I make it all day and through the night? Give me the determination, diary.

8:14 a.m. - My roommates and I head next door to another apartment where a keg has just been tapped. Irish music is blasting. A sea of green-clad collegiates holding red Solo cups fill the apartment. Someone hands me a foamy beverage. It’s probably Keystone Light. Chants of “Chug! Chug! Chug!” begin. I gladly oblige.

9:12 a.m. - Wowza, things are already a bit hazy. Probably because we just got to Legends. Good thing I’m 21 this year, because a drinking ticket from these roaming cops would totally be a buzzkill. Time for some Irish Car Bombs. Oh hold on, I just spilled. My bad. Sorry, diary. 9:45 a.m. - I just lost my debit card. Crap. 10:01 a.m. - Some girl in a leprechaun outfit found my debit card. Stuck to the bottom of a shot glass. Oops! 10:25 a.m. - Heading to our first spot to refuel: Dunkin’ Donuts on Green Street for a nice egg sandwich. Wait, which way is that? Where am I? 10:26 a.m. - A girl is passed out leaning up against a light pole. Rookie. 10:38 a.m. - We just ate ridiculously fast. Next up the frats for free beer, duh.

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11:04 a.m. - Settled in that guy’s room from Psych 100 freshman year. Who are these people? Guess I’ll drink up. Sure, a shot of vanilla-flavored Burnett’s sounds great right now! 11:52 a.m. - Wait, diary, have I ever told u ur my best frinddd????? Another shto!? Sure!!!! 12:07 p.m. - YES! Thisg guy put on Rihanna! My fave time to dannce thiaie night away; Sory spilld on u again. 1:14 p.m. - Hey diary, I’m a little better now. I just woke up on a couch at the frat house with my roomie. That little catnap was perfect. Time to move on! 1:35 p.m. - The line at the most infamous dive bar, KAM’S, is long. Thanks for the swig of whiskey from your flask, random dude in a green body suit! 1:46 p.m. - My shoes are sticking to the floor. The stench of stale beer is permeating my nostrils. The only way to get through this is with a pitcher race of Blue Guys with some friends we met up with. Wait, diary, you don’t know what Blue Guys are? Generic brand Red Bull 62

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in an electric shade of blue mixed with vodka, come on! 1:57 p.m. - I feel a little nauseous, but my team won! Hitting the sticky dance floor. 2:44 p.m. - Bagpipies song and Irish jigaers areandcing, Diary! Shoukd I give it ga go? 3:02 p.m. - Nursingg a cut-open wouhndd on my leg. I canot Irihs jig, diary. Leave it2 the pros. 3:34 p.m. - One O-Bomb, aa Jaeger Bomb aagnd a beeerrrrrr please, bartnedr. OMG THE BEER IS GREEN! 3:38 p.m. - Later, underagesrs!!!! The police juats caught somne frshmaN with fake idS. This aplace is lmame now, diary. Alcohl run and bacack t2 ouyr placve! 3:47 p.m. - Hey, diary, this is Monica, one of the roomies. We’re carrying her back because she’s a little incapacitated at the moment. She’ll get back to you later. 4:06 p.m. - dAiry, sOryy! I’m her e I’m here. We are blastin music and invitng random peopl in2 opur apt. ‘Tis thae season right! HEY, You! Bring tht Goldscthlaggder to apt 201!

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Photo by Kurt Groetsch

5:30 p.m. - I just woke up. Again. Next to the toilet. This is a problem. I’m ordering a pizza. Good thing I have my debit card again. My head is pounding. The music next door sounds deafening. I need aspirin. WHO’S THAT GUY ON OUR COUCH?!?!?! He was just confused. I’ll let him crash for awhile. Oh sweet, a full case of beer is sitting on our counter, but where is everyone? Looks like I got my third wind... 6:15 p.m. - Meeting up with everyone at Firehaus, where there is actual food in addition to more drinks. I need to refuel again. Firehaus fries with extra ranch, please. And a beer. I spot a table of five girls not even speaking, with half-closed eyes gnawing on cheeseburgers. One has green paint smeared all over the right side of her face. The waitress just pointed them out to her manager. Looks like they’re getting kicked out because the sixth girl was napping under the table. 6:17 p.m. - Some guy just ran in screaming “I AM the luck of the Irish!” The whole bar cheered and he ordered rounds of shots. Here we go again. 6:31 p.m. - A guy just vomited all over a table. Why is everyone cheering?! Might as well join ‘em! Hit me with another brewski, bartender! RETURN TO CONTENTS

6:50 p.m. - I’m getting dizzy and too old for this. Who brought in the beer bong? Looks like I’m finishing this full green beer in a millisecond. 7:13 p.m. - Burp. Uh oh. 7:58 p.m. - To oa many ashots and berers later, diary, andw’ ere back herte again. Mayabe I’ll go iinfnd somewater. 8:31 p.m. - I;m in my bed, diary,. I’m ashamged to nogt habve made it out all niwghht, but I’m dyinge ovaer here. Gooda night, happy uNfoiicial! (PS thagt random guy ia still sleeeijng on our couch!) March 3, 2012 10:17 a.m. - Oh. My. Gosh. There are sticky shot glasses surrounding the perimeter of my apartment. I lost $50. There’s pizza crust in my bed. And we just kicked out the guy who was sleeping on our couch with unmentionables Sharpied on his face. I may or may not have tattooed him. I have 67 missed calls. The courtyard in our apartment is covered in beer cans and vomit. Someone get me McDonald’s breakfast in the next 13 minutes. Successful Unofficial, U of I. Well played, Champaign. ◊ volume 4

• LIFE •

When ‘ Parks and Recreation’ and nursing theory collide yo ’se lf It’ s im po rta nt to yo ur he al th to tre at By Sarah Long Between everything in life that demands attention—work, a social life, family, friends, love, exercise, an ever-growing must-watch TV list—it’s no surprise things get stressful. Juggling life can be a challenge, especially when email goes wherever smartphones do. In order to maintain a balance, we could all na use a lesson from Tom Haverford and Don Meagle. Arguably two of the funniest characters rd from NBC’s Parks and Recreation, Haverfo year each day and Meagle designate one to indulge in a celebration they call “Treat , Yo’self Day.” Although a humorous episode it presents a valid point in how to manage stress. Fo’ real.

Enlist your Personal Stress Army Dr. Betty Neuman’s theory of nursing supports the idea behind treating yourself, and provides an insightful understanding of how individuals deal with stress. Neuman views the human body as an open system that interacts with the environment. To put it simply, she believes everything in life is connected. Your relationship with yourself, other people and the rest of your life comprises your environment. Neuman also suggests stress has a direct impact on your overall health. When too many things start going awry—you lose your job, a family member is in the hospital, your

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

favorite jeans don’t fit anymore or you’re fighting with a friend—stress takes over and e your health breaks down. It’s typically at thes t can’ gs points, the times when you think thin ta possibly get any worse, when you contrac flu. physical ailment like the Each person has different levels of defense . and resistance, which help combat diseases ss Think of them as a sort of Personal Stre Army. According to Neuman’s theory of nursing, your body’s natural defenses, like l. white blood cells, are at the innermost leve Your Personal Stress Army then expands outward to include everything like getting enough sleep, feeling accepted by your cot workers, going out to your favorite restauran and having family members who care. Each of these is a soldier on your side, and the more soldiers you have, the stronger your Personal Stress Army becomes. Take a look at what stresses you out and break it down by category. Neuman defines gs external stressors as those attached to thin like money and your job. Interpersonal stressors are your relationships with people, from your significant other to your boss. Intrapersonal stressors come from within— your own demands on yourself to look a certain way or have a certain personality. It’s important to recognize what can change, what can’t change and why you cope the way you do. Treat yo’self cont. on p.66

LIFE

tes

ver

for

agle e M a n Don iers â&#x20AC;&#x153;The more sold tronger s e th , e v a h u o y Stress your Personal .â&#x20AC;? Army becomes

Dr. Betty Neuman

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LIFE

Treat yo’self cont. from p.64

Rally the troops for battle Get social, get active, get ready for stress battle. Building your lines of defense against stress is more than just a combination of healthy diet and exercise, amply seasoned with sleep every night. It’s about taking time to defeat external and interpersonal stressors by spending time doing what you love to do. Essentially, taking the time to treat yourself. Haverford and Meagle spend their annual Treat Yo’self celebration indulging in their favorite activities as a way to reward themselves for their hard work and recharge their lives to take on the challenges of the everyday. Due to the popularity of Parks and Recreation, the #TreatYourself hashtag has set Twitter abuzz with pampered 140-character announcements of ways users celebrate the pleasures in their lives. As a way to jump-start the weekend, Thursdays are a popular day for people to share little treats and fun activities they’re enjoying with the rest of the Twitterverse.

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

Try picking up coffee and a pastry at your favorite shop on your way into the office. Make it a habit to call your long-distance BFF over lunch while on a walk around the block. Invite your girls over for a mani party or your boys over for a gaming night, or enjoy some homemade pizza and a few locally brewed beers. The point is to make it a habit to treat yourself, in whichever way works best for you.

Treats all around When you take the time to treat yourself, you’re more prepared in times of crisis and can better handle stressful situations. This also means when your loved ones need you, you can be there for them. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, your Personal Stress Army can now handle the war on all fronts, even when it’s more than just your own. We can’t escape all stress, but we can learn to recognize and prevent it. So take a cue from Haverford, Meagle and Dr. Neuman, and be sure to treat yo’self every once in awhile.

LIFE

Notes

RETURN TO CONTENTS

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LIFE

t’s just one month into 2012—have you already given up on your New Year’s resolutions?

If so, you’re not alone. Statistically, most people bail on their resolutions by Jan. 10. Give your resolutions a fighting chance with these tips to continue to—or perhaps begin to—stay on track. Whichever the case, we we won’t tell.

How to keep your New Year’s resolutions It’s not too late to continue—or start—achieving your 2012 goals By Mandy Cornish • Photography by Lynn W. Conway

Write that down. What are your resolutions this year? The easiest way to start is by asking yourself that same question. Don’t just think broadly either, focus on a few core goals. Be specific, realistic and try to keep each goal to one sentence only. Here’s an example of a resolution you should not make: Get healthy. It’s too broad and impossible to hold yourself accountable. Try a more specific, measurable resolution like I want to run three times a week, lose two pants sizes and run a 10K this spring. Another example of a solid resolution like I want to save at least $5,000 this year, is both specific and attainable. For even extra support and a reminder of your goal, print out your resolutions and display them somewhere you’ll see them every day, like a bathroom mirror or desk.

Start small. Part of keeping a resolution is having willpower. Think of your willpower as a muscle—the more you exercise it the stronger it will become. Develop your willpower by changing small habits throughout your day, like brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand or 68

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remembering to floss each day. Once you’ve conquered these small habit-changers, having the willpower to keep larger resolutions will be easier.

Make a date. If you aren’t already, use a daily planner or digital calendar and get into the habit of looking at it several times a day. Combine appointments, social events, work meetings and resolution reminders together into this calendar. Infusing reminders into your schedule will help you plan your time and stay on track. Remember to add reoccurring reminders to your calendar, like Yoga class every Thursday or Check volunteering schedule on the first of every month for the next six months for a little help throughout the year.

Go digital. Apps and other technology are a great way to help you stick to your resolution. If your goal is money-oriented, many online banks offer automatic savings transfers or spending trackers. In

Extra credit: Check out our list of top nine apps for accomplishing your resolution.

addition, a diverse range of apps help you track your diet, exercise, time management and any other goal you can think of.

Team up. A study done at Dominican University of California in San Rafael, Calif., showed even the simple act of writing your goals down and sending weekly updates to a friend can increase the likelihood of success by 33 percent. Whether you have a supportive friend check in on your efforts, or get a group of pals together to achieve similar resolutions, there’s definitely power in numbers. Thankfully, it’s easier than ever to connect with friends. Tools like MyFitnessPal friends, Google+ Circles and even something as simple as a weekly Skype checkin can help bring your support system together, no matter where you live. ◊

Extra credit: Create a Facebook group, email list or other way of keeping in regular touch with friends who share like goals. Commit to dedicating at least one half hour a week to the social group.

LIFE Get in shape with GymPact – It’s no secret money is a great motivator, and this new app capitalizes on that. Decide how many times per week you want to go to the gym and pool your money together with others. Those who meet their goal are paid, while those who don’t foot the bill. Members can also pool money with groups of friends, family or co-workers.

These nine apps will help you keep your resolutions for free

Get organized with Evernote – Bookmark links, photos, documents, or anything else that keeps you inspired and on top of your game. Then, retrieve the information later with the search function. You can also download the desktop version to keep your mobile and desktop life in sync. Try something new with Foodspotting – If branching out from your usual hangouts is your new goal, Foodspotting takes the concept of displaying random restaurants nearby, similar to Urbanspoon, but it also lets users find and rate dishes along with usersubmitted photos. Watch what you’re eating with MyFitnessPal – A companion to MyFitnessPal’s website, the app helps you keep a log of your diet and exercise habits, tracking your overall progress. MyFitnessPal also allows friends to connect with each other as an extra boost to reach or celebrate goals. RETURN TO CONTENTS

Volunteer with VolunteerMatch – Find nearby volunteering opportunities, connect with volunteer organizers and save listings for later. Find a new job with Simply Hired – This job board aggregates postings, industry news and tips from many major sites. In addition to this app, you can keep a copy of your resume in your Evernote folder to share with a new or existing contact at a moment’s notice. Meet someone special with eHarmony Mobile – Stay connected with your matches, update your profile with your latest pics and browse potential matches. A great app for those looking for love on the go. Track your spending with Mint – Set your budget, keep track of your spending along the way and see where you spend the most money simply by aggregating all your financial accounts. This app also has companion desktop and tablet versions.

Stop smoking with Quitter – This app tracks how many days you’ve gone without a cigarette, and displays how much money you’ve saved along the way as you’ve worked to quit smoking. Social sharing holds users accountable for their goal, but also allows friends to encourage progress. volume 4

• TRAVEL •

Rural realities

Small town life after leaving the big city By Laura Ledesma

n 2004, my husband, David, and I were living just outside of Chicago, working hard to make ends meet, enjoying the vibrant, social downtown area while getting ready to have a baby. But the excitement of this urban lifestyle quickly changed when David received a promotion at his job, which also came with a transfer to another state. Suddenly there we were, moving from a city of more than 2 million people to Alpena, Mich.—population 10,000. Initially, I was torn. On the positive side was my husband’s career development. Small towns are also great for raising a child. And buying a house was easier with the lower cost of living. On the other hand, we would be moving farther away from family. The winter would be filled with even more snow than we were used to in Chicago. And worst of all, no Starbucks. Oh, and did I mention the snow? Before moving, we took a weekend road trip to our new town in northern Michigan with the intention of going house hunting. While there for just three days, we got a glimpse of what life would be like in our new town. Now, although it has been more than seven years since the move to Michigan, some of the changes we’ve encountered in our rural community still surprise me nearly every day. 70

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the first four years we “ For lived in our tiny town in

northern Michigan, there was a steady stream of rumors that Target was coming. It still hasn’t happened, but a girl can dream.

”

TRAVEL

Harbor markers at the Thunder Bay Small Boat Harbor on Lake Huron (above); Chisholm Street in downtown Alpena (right); Two men ice fishing at the Small Boat Harbor (bottom right).

Unlocked doors, empty streets and a 24-hour WalMart As our realtor showed us listings during our search for a new home, we were surprised to discover not many people locked their houses. Interestingly enough, those who did had a key within reach of the door. One house even had the key hanging on a hook above the door. Another thing we noticed right away was the lack of crowds anywhere. When we ate out that first weekend there were open tables and rarely any lines—a drastic difference from busy restaurants in Chicago, especially those that require reservations months in advance. Although we’re used to the emptier establishments now, we sometimes like to call and make reservations, if not just to feel like we’re still living the big city life.

In addition to not waiting at restaurants, there is hardly ever a wait at the places that are infamously slow-moving, like the DMV, post office, or most other stores. I say most stores because Wal-Mart is in a league of its own. Like others in my town, I’m grateful there is a WalMart within five minutes of my house that’s also open 24 hours. Because we don’t have many other store options, I feel like I’m always at Wal-Mart or making a list for my next trip there. And when I am there, it never fails that I run into someone I know and stop to chat. For the first four years we lived in our tiny town in northern Michigan, there was a steady stream of rumors that Target was coming. It still hasn’t happened, but a girl can dream. volume 4

TRAVEL Small businesses, and even smaller competition One of the most surprising developments of living in a small town is the laid-back attitude of the local businesses. In a larger city, competition inspires many businesses to go beyond what is expected when their services are needed. In rural Michigan, some local businesses pick and choose—sometimes on a weekly basis—what days they will be open, according to their personal schedules. Hours of availability are usually very limited the majority of the time. Except for our saving grace, of course, Wal-Mart. During our first year, our house got a crack in one of the windows. I wanted to pay an expert to patch and repair it, but instead, what I got was over-the-phone instructions telling me how to do it myself! Another time, my husband wanted to make a purchase at the Home Depot in town, but didn’t have the space for it in our car. When David expressed his concern to the salesman, he gave David the keys to his truck. His only request was for David to leave the keys in the truck when he brought it back. Not an uncommon sight to see here. Keys are often left in vehicles, especially during the winter when cars are left running to keep warm.

Warm weather, warmer neighbors As bad as the winters are in northern Michigan, the summers are perfect and worth the wait. When we first moved to the area, we were surprised to learn most homes did not have central air. Our realtor told us it wasn’t necessary, but I didn’t believe her. She was right. The summers here are perfect with very little humidity, and days are usually around 75 degrees. We spend all our time outside during the summer, trying to soak up the sunlight, which is abundant during the summer months. Our Fourth of July fireworks don’t start until 10:30 p.m. because the sky is not dark enough, and sometimes neighbors mow their lawns after 9 at night. Along with the beautiful summer weather, we cherish the friendliness we were greeted with when we moved here. Everyone was welcoming and we soon knew most people by name. We grew close with our neighbors and we often know what’s going on in their Annual ice tree sculpture at the Mich-e-ke-wis Park—a sure sign winter has arrived.

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

TRAVEL lives. This was a welcome change from the city where we were often too busy to care who lived next door.

Gone huntin’ Like Wal-Mart, hunting in northern Michigan is in a league of its own. We know it’s getting close to hunting season when the men’s beards start to look unkempt and the cooler weather sets in. Schools are closed on the first day of hunting season, and when it’s back in session, students compare the size of their “trophies” by counting the points on a deer’s antlers. Hunters also have their pictures

in the local paper with their trophies, and employers hold contests for the biggest buck. Hunting is not just for the men of the community, either. At my last hair appointment, the topic of discussion among the stylists was the rush they get when shooting a wild animal—a topic not frequently heard in a hip, urban salon.

Unusual quirks aside, rural America has its upside After seven years in our small town, we’ve grown to love it and laugh at its oddities. Because we live so far north in a fairly

isolated part of the country, it’s sometimes difficult for family and friends to visit. But when they do make the long trip, we’re incredibly grateful. We love sharing our unique, small-town stories with them. If there ever comes a time when my family has to or chooses to relocate, I know I’ll miss the friends I’ve made here, the beautiful summers and the laidback, small-town feel. And if life takes me to a big city again, Target will be the first place I go. ◊

Lake Huron on a peaceful Sunday morning.

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volume 4

Founders’ Favorites 1 Brittany’s picks

Organix Moroccan Argan Oil - As a person with hair that takes

up approximately 1/3 of my entire body, when I find a product that helps me tame it, I hang onto it. The Organix brand is much cheaper than the Moroccan oil brand—only $8 as opposed to $35— and I honestly can’t tell the difference. This miracle product will give you smooth, shiny locks for days.

Remember The Milk - I’m a list maker. I spend forever creating

to-do lists because it helps me stay organized, and I go crazy for the satisfaction that comes with crossing off completed items. Not only do I love RTM because I can access it from my iPhone, iPad and sync it with my Gmail and Outlook, but also because of their adorable cow logo I’ve perfected drawing freehand. Moo.

Gewürztraminer - Say it with me: guh-voor-straw-meaner.

Or, just forget about pronouncing it and finish your glass. This slightly bubbly, sweet, aromatic German wine has quickly become one of my favorites. Try the Fetzer brand for a less than $10 a bottle, grocery store option.

Tom’s picks:

11/22/63 by Stephen King - Ever

since this title was announced, I was excited to read King’s latest novel about a Maine high school teacher who travels back in time to stop Lee Harvey Oswald from assassinating John F. Kennedy. While centering around stopping the assassination, the best parts of King’s novel are the smaller subplots. Even though it’s a lengthy 849 pages, 11/22/63 is a quick read. The book is so compelling that at one point I read about 500 pages in a single night.

Annie Hall and Manhattan on Blu-ray - I’m a

huge Woody Allen fan and am excited two of his masterpieces are now available on Blu-ray. Annie Hall, the 1977 Academy Award winner for Best Picture is still a hilarious film and it set forth the narrative pattern for the traditional romantic comedy. Manhattan, Allen’s first black and white film and cinematic love letter to New York City looks absolutely stunning in HD.

Affligem Blond - A spicy, yet sweet Belgian beer,

Affligem Blond has been my drink of choice at many of our Facets happy hour outings. But I’m not the only one who favors this delicious brew; I’ve also gotten Brittany and Rachel to become fans.

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

Jayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s picks:

Sennheiser PX 200-IIi headphones

- As someone whose ears sweat like Georgia when wearing overthe-ear headphones, these on-the-ear headphones (built for iPhone/iTouch) give amazing sound, and fit firmly, yet comfortably, on my odd-shaped head.

2 3

Red Dwarf currently filming a 10th

season - The British kings of sci-fi comedy are back for another go. Smeg-o-rama!

12 Angry Men on Blu-ray - The classic jury room drama brought to you by the Criterion Collection. The film is a tense goulash of great acting and even better writing.

volume 4

Rachel’s picks:

Boogie Board writing tablet - The

coolest and greenest thing to use at the office, this LCD writing tablet is billed as ‘electronic paper’ and is great for jotting down notes, phone numbers and lists that can be easily erased with no cost to the environment.

Ikea’s KOMPLEMENT multi-use hanger - Sure, it looks like a six-

pack holder gone wrong, but for the individual with wall space to spare, this $8 IKEA find will turn a drawer full of scarves into its own work of art.

Better Oats oatmeal - One of the

only perks of winter is the excuse to eat hearty, hot and filling meals. Breakfast should be one of them. With the variety of flavors of Better Oats, you might wish the snow would stick around for a little longer (maybe). Try the mmm...Blueberry Muffin or Lavish Dark Chocolate for a healthy breakfast treat.

Lynn’s picks:

Rock America - Everyone has been there

before, that sudden panic when you realize you have to get a gift for someone but have no idea what to get. For the music lover in your life, check out Rock America for great band T-shirts or other memorabilia. Rock America is stocked full of rockrelated items, from classic bands to current bands and even some of your favorite TV shows and video games.

Kik Messenger - Looking to save some money

on your cell phone bill? How about lowering your text message plan? Now don’t pass out, I have a cool app to take its place. It’s called Kik and it’s completely free. You can text or send photos just as you normally would to anyone in the world. Kik lets you know when your messages have been delivered, and also tells you once the recipient has read the message. Did I mention it’s free? You can thank me later—or just send me a Kik message, my username is LynnWyatt.

2 Broke Girls - I’m loving the new CBS

comedy show 2 Broke Girls. In my opinion, the best new show on. There’s really nothing else to say except watch it - Monday nights at 8/7c on CBS. ◊

FEB/MAR 2012 | thefacetsmag.com

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