Are we there yet?

By Tanith Carey

Four of the most dreaded words for parents in the English language are: ‘Are we there yet?’

Recent research has found that children will ask this question just over half an hour into a car journey and repeat it four times during the average two hour car trip.

However, when you look at long car journeys from a child’s point of view, should we really be surprised?

For one thing, for young children, hours and minutes have little concrete meaning until they reach about age 7. After that it will still take many more years for kids to develop their impulse control and ability to wait.

You can help your kids understand the length of the journey with more solid physical markers, such as: ‘We’ll be there after we have our next snack,’ or ‘When the fields turn into a town again.’

Before you set off, look out for places to stop - parks, service stations or playgrounds along the way. Build in short exercise breaks at these places to mark your progress in stages.

Journeys will also pass more quickly if we reframe how we view them. Rather than an ordeal to be endured, see them as a chance to spend uninterrupted time with the children where the journey is part of the fun.

Liven things up by downloading a ready-made picture car bingo game, so kids can cross off a square every time they see something like a police car, a bridge or a tractor.

Asking your child what they would like to bring with them to help the time pass will help them feel more in control; suggest they put together their ‘journey kit’ in a bag to hang on the back of your seat.

It helps to also have a few novelties that you can produce at different stages of the journey too.

For younger kids try window wax crayons and stickers they can use to decorate the windows. For older ones, be ready with a pair of binoculars or a compass so they can track your progress and appreciate what they are seeing. By appreciating where child is at developmentally, you can make journeys more pleasant for the whole family.

Tanith Carey is co-author, with Dr Angharad Rudkin, of What’s My Child Thinking: Practical Child Psychology for Modern Parents. The book includes many topics including the best ways to communicate with children. Published by DK books and available from www.bookshop.org

Top tips for travelling with kids

Take off shoes. If you expect your kids will want to expend some energy kicking the back of your seat, take off their shoes! You won’t feel it as much and it won’t be as satisfying for them.

Head off tantrums over lost toys. Pack a pair of kitchen tongs to retrieve the fiddly toys that kids tend to drop down the sides of seats. And try not to take too many fiddly things, like Lego people and Polly Pockets.

Pack a towel for each child. It can be used as a blanket, a mop for any spills or on toddlers’ laps to help toys stay put.

You can also tuck one end into the window and hang it as a curtain to keep out the sun. If children get hot and sweaty, moisten the towel with water to help keep them cool.

Pack a potty. If you are still toilet training, bring a potty. Line it with a nappy for easy disposal of the mess.