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Top tips for successful co-parenting over the festive season

Christmas is notoriously difficult for families who are no longer living together. Here is our list of tips to help you ensure that the holiday period is as harmonious as possible

1) Children

Put your children first. Consider what is best for your children over the holiday period and focus on ensuring that they have as settled and happy a time as possible.

2) Presents

Wherever possible talk with one another about Christmas presents and consider whether a joint present might be appropriate. Do not try to buy your child’s affection by attempting to outdo the other parent in the gift-giving department. Consult with them and either set budget guidelines or share the cost. This will also avoid duplicate presents.

With certain events not being able to take place due to Covid 19, you may want to discuss other creative plans such as the children attending a Virtual

Santa Grotto.

3) Talking

Communication is the key to success.

Even though it may be hard, try to keep channels of communication open with your ex-partner to ensure that everything works as smoothly as possible.

4) Manage expectations

The first Christmas after a separation or divorce can be a confusing and a difficult time for everyone. Try your best to manage expectations so that everyone, particularly your children, know what to expect.

5) Agree arrangements

Agree arrangements as far ahead as possible and try to be flexible for the sake of your children. Once you have agreed arrangements, try to keep to them. This is even more important in the current pandemic. Lawyers can do a lot to help parents who cannot agree arrangements for the festive period to help to resolve these differences through mediation, negotiation or, if absolutely necessary, the court. If you would like further information in relation to children matters or family law generally, please contact one of our family solicitors at Debenhams Ottaway.

Helen Young Family Partner

To contact Debenhams Ottaway email hy@debenhamsottaway.co.uk, call 01727 738212 or visit website

Healthy living with BeeZee Bodies

An award-winning family healthy lifestyle programme in Hertfordshire is offering free online sessions. Each week the team of nutritionists at BeeZee Bodies cover topics such as healthy snacking, balanced meals, portion size and physical activity. Families can log on to weekly webinars that are fun and interactive, with games and quizzes, and prizes to be won! BeeZee Bodies, which is funded by Hertfordshire County Council, are experts at engaging children around healthy eating and fun exercise. All of BeeZee Bodies programmes are free for children aged 5-15, and their families, living in Hertfordshire (eligibility criteria applies). New courses start in January. For more information visit website or call 01707248648

Movies and more!

The Cinema at Campus West in Welwyn Garden City is open every day, showing a selection of family friendly films in a welcoming and fully covid-secure environment. Snacks and refreshments are available. For more information on The Cinema and Campus West, visit

HCC recruiting foster carers

Are you looking for a more fulfilling job? Has the Coronavirus pandemic left you looking for a new career or new way of life? Hertfordshire County Council foster carers say that fostering is the most rewarding thing they have ever done.

Dawn and Alan have been foster carers with Hertfordshire County Council for the last ten years, fostering five children long-term as well as caring for approximately 30 short-term foster children. They are currently looking after a brother and sister aged 10 and 9.

“We love fostering. It’s always chaos, there’s always someone here, but it’s good fun!” say Dawn and Alan. website

“People worry about the children moving on and the attachment they have to them, and I always say, don’t worry because in our experience, we still see them. They’re all grown-up now and it’s lovely when they come back.” If you are interested in fostering, Hertfordshire County Council will guide you through the process, providing 24/7 support, training and generous pay and allowances.

Choosing a Tutor for

Your Child By Kate Hilpern

In the past, parents might employ a tutor, discreetly, to help their child keep up at school. Now tutoring is much more high profile and focuses on making students more academically competitive – getting ahead, not just keeping up.

The upside is that parents have a greater choice of highly professional and specialist tutors. However, because employing a tutor is regarded by some as the mark of ‘good’ parenting, parents may waste their money when it isn’t necessary, with little or no benefit to their child.

If you are considering tuition, have a clear objective such as helping your child to prepare for an exam, offering support after an extended absence from school or addressing a particular problem area. A vague feeling of unease because every other pupil in the class seems to have a tutor probably isn’t sufficient reason!

How do you go about finding a tutor?

Word-of-mouth can be very effective. Talk to friends and parents at the school gates, even ask your child’s teachers for tutors in your area who are reliable, friendly and get results. Bear in mind though, that the fantastic tutor who worked wonders with your neighbour’s child may not develop the same rapport with your own.

Tutoring websites, which act rather like newsagents’ advertising boards, are a useful starting point. These are little more than a collection of small ads but tuition offered here will be relatively affordable, though the onus is on parents to interview potential tutors. Or you may want to consider local tuition companies that feature in magazines like Families.

Another option is a tutor agency. These range from small, local concerns to national or even international companies. All provide a personal service and offer a choice of highly experienced, hand-picked and expert tutors, custom-built to meet your child’s needs. You’ll end up paying more but the best agencies take immense care vetting, training and matching their tutors and conducting careful follow-ups.

With costs ranging from £25 to £150+ an hour, depending on the subject and your location, tuition is an investment. There’s no iron-clad guarantee that it will transform your child’s school grades so, if you proceed, then taking care how and who you choose is definitely the first step in the right direction.

Kate Hilpern is from the Good Schools Guide, UK’s leading independent source of school reviews, education information and advice. The Good Schools Guide reviews over 50 tutor agencies, having visited each and talked to staff and former clients. For more info, visit www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk

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Why Hire a Tutor?

At age 7, to ensure a child is up to speed for independent prep school entry.

In year 5 (ages 9/10) to prepare a child for entry to the local grammar school or selective independent school. Most grammar schools (and some independents) test verbal and non-verbal reasoning as well as maths and English.

In year 6 (aged 10/11) to bolster basic maths or English competence ahead of KS2 examinations.

To assist with Common Entrance/PSB subjects - perhaps to ease the anguish of algebra or Latin.

To improve schoolwork following a dip in grades on a school report.

To put a youngster back on track after a dodgy exam result.

Following a bout of illness or unexpected family set-back.

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Feel great as you watch your child’s savings grow-ho-ho-ho!

Seasonal Acts of Kindness It’s a tough time for everybody, so here are some different ways to support those in need.

Wear a Christmas Hat Day Support this vital research on 18 December for Brain Tumour Research.

Centrepoint More Than a Christmas Dinner Help a homeless young person this Christmas.

NSPCC Letter from Santa Donate when you order a letter from Santa for your child.

#FoodBankAdvent Reverse Calendar Support your local food bank. Collect a Reverse Advent Calendar.

RSPCA Christmas Appeal Help rescue an abandoned/neglected animal.

Action for Children: Be a Secret Santa Help a vulnerable child have a happier Christmas.

BookTrust Give a Festive Book Parcel Brighten a vulnerable child’s Christmas with a special gift book parcel.

Save the Children Christmas Jumper Day Get your silliest jumper out on 11 December and donate £2.

Age UK Say Hello to an Older Neighbour Ideas for supporting an older neighbour with small acts of kindness.