Families North Yorkshire Nov/Dec 2022 - Print

Some of you

others find it overwhelming….we think you all know

the festive season is just round the corner and it’s not too soon

about!

start planning. Start with our gift guide in this issue and remember,

things get increasingly busy, it’s important that you don’t burn out before Christmas even arrives. Take a look at our tips for lightening your load in the run up.

Meanwhile, life ticks on. You may be choosing your child’s first school, musing on your child’s future education, planning for the arrival of their baby sibling and trying to work through the day while your children keep you awake at night or fretting about the cost of buying gifts for your child to take to all the birthday parties they are attending. If you are preoccupied with any of these things, this issue offers something very relevant for you.

Finally, especially for you, we have Christmas gifts for kids and adults, as well as tonnes of Weebles

giveaway! Apply for these adorable wiggly, wobbly minitoys at familiesmag.co.uk/go. By doing so, you’ll also ensure you receive our digital magazine with lots more content and goodies on offer.

July/August competition winners

By Gabrielle Nash

If your child turns four this academic year, they’ll be starting Reception next September and now’s the time to make their primary school application. Exciting times!

Your child’s primary school and its community becomes a large part of your family’s life, so feeling happy about the choice is very important. Depending on where you live you might have just one, two or maybe three schools to apply to. Or there may be numerous schools if you live in a city. So how do you go about knowing which will be a good fit for you and your child?

The catchment area

School catchment area is a key admission criterion for schools. This is generally based on the furthest distance that a pupil was admitted to the school the previous year but boundaries can be extended or shrink, according to the variables of each intake year. For example, one year there may be a larger cohort of siblings or looked-after children taking priority or it may be a year with a high birth rate, so the map alone does not guarantee your top choice.

You can check each school’s catchment area through your local authority to establish whether you’re likely to fall within it. Think carefully before aiming for a school for which you’re not in the catchment area. You don’t want to waste one of your choices.

Consider your working week. If you’re commuting to work, how will you do that after school drop-off? Is there a train or bus nearby or space to park your car?

A good fit

Every school is organised and managed differently, so you’ll need to do some research to see what each school offers and what matters most to you. When you’re shortlisting schools, it’s important to visit to get a feel for each one. Go armed with lists of questions and an open mind.

Each school will have its own personality but so does your child. Are they loud or reserved? Smaller schools with just one-form entry might suit a quieter child. If your child has any special educational needs, you’ll want to know the school caters well for them.

Extras

What wrap-around care does the school offer? If it doesn’t suit your needs, are there sufficient alternative options? Find out which secondary schools pupils go on to and see how that impacts on your thought process. For example, if a high proportion of the pupils go to the best local secondary school, then that’s a plus.

Educating for the future

By Louise Livingston

Children are often asked what they want to be when they grow up. From farmers to flight attendants, astronauts to doctors, the answers are always a mix of familiar careers. But astonishingly, over two thirds of children joining primary school this September will end up in jobs that don’t yet exist. Think back thirty years - there were no social media managers or Bitcoin traders!

Today’s workplace is rapidly changing. As Richard Riley, former Secretary of Education, said:

‘We are currently preparing students for jobs that don’t yet exist, using technologies that haven’t been invented to solve problems we don’t even know are problems yet.’

It’s a challenge and mainstream education will be required to adjust. Is an education system that focuses mainly on teaching children academic subjects outdated? Focusing on tests and exam results will not deliver for a future which will need creative, flexible problem-solvers who can collaborate.

The visionary educational pioneer, Maria Montessori, recognised this when she wrote,

‘Education must no longer be mostly imparting knowledge but must take a new path, seeking the release of human potentialities.’

In Montessori education, children are guided by a teacher trained in child observation and development. Classrooms provide open-ended, hands-on activities where children choose tasks appropriate to their stage of development.

With activities so targeted to each child’s individual needs and interests, children are engaged and motivated to concentrate, persevere and develop self-discipline. In addition, the activities are designed to encourage children to think flexibly and come up with creative solutions. In the early years, this may simply be how to unbuckle their shoes or share a snack. Later, it may be an exploration of the Jurassic period or a novel approach to solving quadratic equations.

Mixed-age classes with children aged up to three years apart is another key feature of Montessori education. Younger children learn from older role models and older children benefit from the experience too. In this mini community, children share resources, put things away ready for someone else after they have used them and help each other. This fosters social collaboration and builds emotional intelligence.

Louise Livingston has over thirty years’ experience in education and a background in educational neuroscience. She is Head of Training at the Maria Montessori Institute (www.mariamontessori.org), which offers Montessori teacher training, online short courses and the Maria Montessori School for ages 2 to 12 in London.

Age is just a number

In a Montessori environment, children with a three-year age span work alongside each other, choosing and taking part in activities as and when they are developmentally ready. This is in sharp contrast to mainstream approaches which typically require children to learn the same things at the same time, in the same year group.

Developmentally, there can be a marked difference in the abilities of the youngest and oldest children in a standard classroom and how readily they can pass set milestones and tests.

With Montessori, children develop capacities at their own pace, building on a firm foundation of what they can already do.

Mistakes are viewed positively as an opportunity to find a different way of doing something, whereas sometimes mainstream approaches can make children feel that ‘getting it right’ is all that matters. When mistakes are valued as part of the learning process, a child’s confidence grows, they are able to try new things and contribute their ideas, exemplifying the fact that everyone has a unique perspective to offer.

A new approach at home

Supporting your child’s development with a Montessori approach doesn’t require expensive equipment. It’s all about changing your mindset.

For example, instead of automatically doing things for your children, you can encourage them to do things themselves as much as possible and support them only as and when they need it. Depending on your child’s age, these things could include getting dressed, pouring a glass of water or helping to prepare vegetables for dinner.

When they try to do things for themselves, children find their own way. If they ask ‘how do you do that?’ turn that question on its head and ask ‘how do you think it should be done?’

Montessori is about optimising human capacity rather than filling children with facts that can usually be accessed with a few taps on a device. It’s so well-suited to preparing for future jobs because it recognises that with the right encouragement, children are motivated, curious, flexible and creative.

Introducing a new sibling

Introducing a new baby into the family can be an exciting yet nerve-wracking time for parents. Here are some tips on the best ways to prepare your older children for the impending arrival of their baby sibling and help them to feel loved and included during the process.

Explain what’s going to happen

If they are under the age of two, they may not be that interested at all and take the idea of a new addition to the family in their stride. However, a slightly older child might be bursting with questions or struggle emotionally with the transition.

Prepare them for what to expect

Explain that the new baby is going to be with mummy or daddy most of the time and the baby is going to do a lot of sleeping, crying and feeding. This will also help manage their expectations so they won’t expect their new sibling to be a playmate from the moment they enter your home!

Tell the story of their birth

Show your children some old photographs of when you were pregnant with them or of them when they were a baby. Talk to them about what it was like when they were younger and how they too cried and fed all hours of the day. This will be a lovely bonding exercise and help them understand why the new baby will need more attention initially.

Role play looking after the baby

Using a doll is another great way to introduce your children to

the idea of having a baby around the home. They can practise how to be gentle, hold the baby and talk to them. Overall, this helps to normalise the idea of a baby. Better still, if you’ve got friends or family with small babies, set up meet ups or playdates so your child can get used to hearing baby cries, being around a baby and observing how mums and babies interact.

Get them involved in the planning

Ask them what they think of the names you’ve picked for the baby. Chances are they won’t like your choices and would much prefer Spider-Man or Peppa but the key thing is to value their opinions!

Take them shopping for newborn essentials

It will help them feel important if you let them pick some baby clothes. They could also help put new items away, pack the baby changing bag or even prepare the nursery.

With thanks to leading UK baby brand, Nuby (www.nuby-uk. com) for this article.

When baby arrives

Get

Singing

Let

Lightening the mental load this Christmas

By Chloe Lowe

Christmas is one of the busiest times of the year for parents. The pressure to create the perfect experience for everyone builds into a behemoth balancing on a plate of mince pies, threatening to crumble at any minute.

The upward comparison with Insta-perfect mums and crafting geniuses, let alone the constant narrative in the press, on television and on social media, means the mental load reaches an all-time high during the festive season and it’s well documented that mums bear the heaviest burden.

The sheer volume of things to think about and do can quickly lead to high-stress, low mood and burnout and not enjoying a minute of Christmas.

It’s very British to need to present the perfect picture. But when you realise that you can’t control everything, including the actions of your extended family or your delivery man, it can be truly liberating!

How to create your ‘perfectly imperfect’ Christmas

Here’s a few tips on how to manage the mental load this Christmas and feel good about it too.

Grab a pen and paper and write a list of the top three things that mean the most to you this Christmas.

Focus on those first. Doing a few things well will feel so much

better than spreading yourself too thin and doing lots of things, just ‘ok’.

Ask for and accept help - it’s a sign of strength, not a weakness.

Slow down to speed up. Running on caffeine at one hundred miles per hour is detrimental to your mind and body. Slowing down and taking some deep breaths or even indulging in a Christmas movie, will help you reset, re-energise and get some headspace.

Ask yourself what your children really want and need this Christmas and focus on that rather than succumbing to the pressure to spoil them or compete with peers.

Reduce your time on social media. It’s amazing how many hours you’ll get back.

Avoid too many excesses. Don’t deprive yourself of a glass of fizz and a few mince pies but counter them with a family walk in the fresh air or a healthy breakfast or lunch.

And don’t forget to give yourself the gift of self-care so that you can enjoy Christmas too.

Chloe Lowe is founder of @parentlistapp (www.parentlist. app), the app for busy parents who want to find joy in parenting.

GIFT GUIDE Christmas

Spread a little bit of festive joy this year by being good to both your family and by supporting some of the independent businesses in the North Yorkshire region.

Elf Letters

We’re all for an advent calendar that encourages children to read! This one has daily, personalised Elf letters directly from a North Pole Elf. Read the stories every day to find out what happens in the North Pole as Santa and the elves get ready for Christmas. £25.99.

www.elfforchristmas.co.uk

Barekind Bamboo Socks

These jolly Bamboo socks are great stocking fillers that save endangered animals too. Bright and colourful, they will brighten up your children’s feet, while 10% of the profits are donated to help save the animal on the sock. £7.50.

www.barekind.co.uk

Giveaway

Play Kits Subscription Boxes

The Play Kits imaginative subscription boxes help parents make the most of playtime and support pre-school brain development. Created with leading child development experts, these are built to last and are made with sustainable wood, organic cotton, non-toxic paint and baby-safe plastics. From £80.

Nature Curious Subscription Boxes

Buttercup’s Nature Curious activity subscription boxes encourage children to explore the British wildlife on our doorsteps. Their eco-packaged worksheets and nature prints with augmented reality are designed and printed in the UK. £20 per month with bonus access to an online community.

www.buttercuplearning.com

Families has an annual subscription to give away! Apply at familiesmag.co.uk/go

Kabode Alphabet Children’s Bedding

This gorgeous natural children’s bedding from Kabode is designed to inspire big dreams. The Alphabet collection makes it fun for your child to learn their ABCs and the playful design is decorated with colourful letters. Made from 100% certified organic cotton. £44.95.

www.kabode.co.uk

Bake at Home Gingerbread People

Cake or Death’s Bake At Home Gingerbread People make the perfect gift for little bakers. Delivered through your letterbox, each kit comes complete with delicious ready-made gingerbread dough, a cutter and recipe card. £15.

www.cakeordeath.co.uk

Giveaway

JOGB Luxury Candle

A JOGB luxury candle is a lovely treat for someone who has everything (else)! They are artisan-made, eco-friendly candles, made using 100% natural luxury fragrances from quality essential oils. Available in three gorgeous fragrances: Relaxing SLOJO, Uplifting GOJO and Sensual MOJO. £65.

www.jogbliving.com

ShopLocal

The Mum Collective

Where luxury meets maternity and nursing clothes. Whether you’re pregnant with your first baby or feeding your fifth, The Mum Collective loungewear pieces are the only one’s you’ll need. We know during your pregnancy and after birth, you want to feel comfortable but also stylish. Our award-winning collections are designed to do just that. Hang out at home with your little one or head out for coffee with your friends, no matter where you wear yours, The Mum Collective is here to help make you feel a little more...you.

www.themumcollective.co.uk

Peach Tree Picnics

DIY Lip Tint or Cheek Balm Kit

Let the makeup lover in your life design their own allnatural lip tints or cheek balms. These DIY kits have gorgeous ingredients and are plastic-free. £19.99.

www.acalaonline.com

Families has three kits to give away! Apply at familiesmag.co.uk/go

Focused on delivering the best local & UK artisan produce in our handmade picnics, sharing platters and yummy extras. Perfect for Family Gatherings, Christenings, Birthdays, Race Days, Open Air Concerts, Sporting Events, Date Nights/Days - the list is endless! Visit us at www.peachtreepicnics.co.uk to see all the wonderful products and celebrations we cater for. Look forward to hearing from you soon. Catherine. @peach.tree.picnics

Halo Water Bottle

Perfect for fitness fanatics, Halo insulated bottles are compact and lightweight. Designed to be incredibly handbag (and even coat pocket)friendly, Halo is a bottle you will never leave at home, making hydrating on the move that little bit easier. From £22.

www.halobottle.com

Crossover Bag

This quirky crossover bag is made in Portugal using superior quality cork. It is a 100% natural raw material harvested every nine years from the cork oaks. Its 100% biodegradability and its high quality make it one of the most sustainable and durable materials available today. Vegan, waterproof and extremely light. £59.99.

Shop Local

What’s On? Nov/Dec 2022

If you’re looking for places to visit and things to keep the kids entertained as winter emerges, then our What’s On guide is packed full of ideas for places to take the kids, whatever the weather, local Christmas events, Santa visits and shows.

Meet Santa, enjoy our Winter Illuminations in the Enchanted Forest, discover the secrets of our Snowflake Maze, or whizz around our ice rink: these and many other Christmas events and activities for children of all ages are waiting for you at Stockeld Park. You can even bring a little bit of the magic of Christmas at Stockeld Park home with you by purchasing one of our beautiful real Christmas trees, grown right here on the Stockeld Park Estate -the biggest plantation in Yorkshire! https://stockeldpark.co.uk/

Crescent Gardens, Harrogate

Harrogate’s picturesque Crescent Gardens will capture the spirit of the Victorian Christmases of old, with ice-skating for all the family, seasonal treats and refreshments all encapsulated with a cosy apres-ski setting under the Christmas lights.

Beningbrough Hall,

Fill a festive day at Harewood this winter. The stunning gardens and grounds are full of unique play spaces, hidden corners to explore, and importantly for parents and grandparents, lots of places for delicious food and drink! In the House, discover Long Live the Christmas Tree!, a uniquely contemporary Christmas exhibition where 11 artists have created beautiful and unusual trees to celebrate the season. Kids will love the indoor and outdoor festive trails, and you can tick a few things off the list in the Festive Shop too. Harewood is just north of Leeds, and you can find out more at harewood.org.

Santa is flying here to see you! Let the twinkling lights draw you into the wonder of Mother Shipton’s magical, memory-making Christmas experience. www.mothershipton.co.uk/

It’s that time of year and Santa has booked his holiday back at Beningbrough this December. Join him in the Victorian laundry for a brand-new tale called Musical Mayhem. See what the elves have been up to on a 30-minute story session with a small group of other families. Have chance to have a chat, get a gift and take a few photographs in this unique and memorable shared experience.

favourite festive event, Yorkshire’s Winter

Yorkshire’s ultimate festive day out! Steeped in traditional Christmas magic, we are pleased to bring back The Christmas Experience. Visit Santa ‘Under the Wishing Tree’ in the Elf Village to interact with the elves and meet the main man himself. Pre-schoolers can visit Santa’s Cabin on weekdays. Come and play with our installations and enjoy festive traditions old and new on the woodland walk. Discover fairies in their secret hideaway Fairy Dell, listen to the giggles and whispers as you tiptoe through. Marvel in the splendour of the Edwardian House with the rooms dressed in all their festive finery. Mrs Claus will be taking up residency in the Hall and will be decorating gingerbread people with our little guests. Then lastly, head to the North Pole to decorate Christmas ceramics with our elves to take home to keep as treasured memories. Weekend activities also include family magic shows in our Yuletide Yurts (booking required).

Pre-booking for Santa is essential –to book visit www.thechristmasexperience.co.uk

See the house and farm dressed to impress for the festive season. Discover themed Christmas trees inspired by our magical estate and enjoy free festive crafts for younger visitors. Father Christmas will be making an appearance on weekends throughout December and daily between 20-23 December. There’s lots of lovely presents for those who have been good this year! Over at Home Farm cosy up by the roaring workshop fire and get up close to farmyard friends bedding down for winter.

Our very special ‘Christmas at Spilman’s’ event is back this winter. Join us for some magical festive fun… with Santa’s cheery elves, Mrs Claus and Santa Claus himself! www.spilmans.co.uk/

Harrogate High School, HG1 4AP

North Yorkshire Moors Railway

Join Santa and his special team of elves at either Pickering or Grosmont Station before a magical adventure aboard the Santa Express which will take you on a festive journey you won’t forget! www.nymr.co.uk

23

Harrogate Theatre

Aladdin

Times are tough for Aladdin and his poor mum Widow Twankey. That is until Aladdin finds an enchanted lamp with magical powers that can make all his wishes come true.

24

Grand Opera House, York

PMU presents Nativity the

Every child in every school has one Christmas wish, to star in a Nativity, and at St Bernadette’s School they’re attempting to mount a musical version! Only trouble is teacher Mr Maddens has promised that a Hollywood producer is coming to see the show to turn it into a film.

10

Pocklington School,

ROLL UP, ROLL UP!

For festive magic, comedy and a sleighload of seasonal silliness...

The Magic Hatter’s Christmas Cracker returns for the 11th magical year...with a twist! Inspired by childhood trips to the circus, join The Magic Hatter as your ringmaster in The Greatest Snowman .

With special guests Frostbite the Penguin, Aunty Madge Hatter and SANTA CLAUS himself in a blizzard of entertainment (and that’s snow joke!) Festive fun for all the family, ages 3 to 103...’ yule’ love it!

Market

This annual festive event tells the Christmas story and brings together a sense of community and Christmas spirit. Organised by the Knaresborough community, a mixture of readings and drama bring the story to life with a cast of local residents and a real donkey.

Grand Opera House, York

Old Granny Goose

Discover for yourself why Berwick and his team have become a true rock of family entertainment over many decades with their hilarious anarchic approach to pantomime. It’s wonderfully madcap and is truly enjoyed by all ages. You may not remember the plot, but you will remember the laughs during the winter months.

The Forum, Northallerton

The Nice List - A Magical Family Santamime!

Discover for yourself why Berwick and his team have become a true rock of family entertainment over many decades with their hilarious anarchic approach to pantomime. It’s wonderfully madcap and is truly enjoyed by all ages. You may not remember the plot, but you will remember the laughs during the winter months.

Home from Home with Chilly Powder

Do you prefer winter or summer in the Alps… or both? Francesca, Paul and their three children live in Morzine in France all year round and have a good knowledge of Alpine traditions and the Morzine people. Having adapted their chalet holiday style over the years to suit the tastes of their regular guests, they offer the perfect ski and summer holidays for either families, couples or mixed groups in relaxing luxury, with fantastic food and outstanding facilities, with unrivalled in-house childcare facilities. For many returning guests Chilly Powder is considered a real home from home. www.chillypowder.com For more about Chilly Powder chalets for summer and winter visit www.chillypowder.com

Fun swimming classes for your little ones from 6 weeks upwards. They have put together a structured awards programme using STA Starfish and Stanley Awards so you can see your babies, toddlers and older children progress to confident swimmers. Baby Swimmers and Swim Academy cater for babies and children of all ages. www.babyswimmers.co.uk

Panda’s Playtime - music & sensory group for Under 5s based in Heworth & Dunnington. Sessions are full of action songs, nursery rhymes, sensory play, puppets, instruments & lots of props. A new theme each week keeps children excited about the sessions & makes them fun, enjoyable & unique. Through music, sensory & dancing, our classes encourage motor skills, communication & language skills, brain development, imagination & social interaction. The music in our classes is a natural way to learn rhyming & counting. Classes are a fantastic way to support the bond with your child, have fun &create a happy & positive feeling. www.pandasplaytime.co.uk Rachel@Pandasplaytime.co.uk

Do your kids love Art? Well, join the club! We have online & in person afterschool classes for kids aged 5-18 (& adults too) offering imaginative, fun two-way tuition in small classes. We teach fine art skills and techniques with a varied termly curriculum of topics. Contact Suzi at blankcanvasartclub@gmail.com

FEAST brings the fun to the school holidays, offering loads of different activities for everyone to take part in. All children and young people across North Yorkshire can get involved in a range of sessions, with free places and a free lunch for those on benefits-related Free School Meals, thanks to funding from the Department for Education. To see all the fantastic activities on offer and learn more about how to claim a free place, visit the FEAST website. There is so much to choose from – come and take a look at what’s on!

Dedicated to offering you the best swimming experience possible through our unique swimming lessons. We offer inclusive swimming lessons for all ages and abilities available Sunday to Friday at two different locations in the Selby area: Cawood Park and Willow Lodge Pool in Bubwith. www.emilyfrances.co.uk

Jorvik Swim Academy, York

Lessons are for 3+ through Jorvik Swim Academy. Lessons are taken by fully qualified teachers, supported by in-water assistants, many of whom are themselves current or past competitive swimmers. It’s fair to say we’re all passionate about swimming and its benefits! We follow the Swim England Learn-to-swim programme and have a high staff to child ratio, meaning that even nervous beginners are fully supported. Most importantly, the kids have fun whilst learning to swim. Lessons are on Sundays at Archbishop Holgate’s School. Club training sessions are on weekday evenings. www.jorvikswimacademy.co.uk; www.teamjorvik.co.uk

Emily Frances Swimming, Selby

Boys’ body dissatisfaction

By Dr Charlotte Markey

It’s known that girls can show an awareness of dieting by the time they start primary school. Meanwhile, many boys feel they should be bigger, more muscular, more ‘manly.’ While this is a sign of body dissatisfaction, it tends to fly under the radar or go unnoticed by adults because it’s disguised as ‘getting healthy.’

Body dissatisfaction is not a superficial concern as it impacts health behaviours, social interactions and mental health in general.

Research indicates that boys and girls are almost equally likely to experience body dissatisfaction. Where girls might focus on weight loss diets, boys are apt to over-exercise, cut sugar or carbs (or both) from their diets and become consumed with their health.

Most parents aren’t likely to be concerned if their son decides to skip dessert or spend time lifting weights. If this shift in habits also coincides with puberty, it can be difficult to tell if a boy is getting leaner, broad-shouldered or just taller.

In other words, the typical parent may not be able to tell if there is a problem brewing or just normal teen development taking place. Still, this change in habits should be a red flag to keep an eye out for body dissatisfaction or even the emergence of disordered eating.

How do you know when your son has a problem or is just genuinely becoming more responsible for his health?

Boys should be gaining weight through puberty, not losing weight. If you notice your son losing weight, an appointment with a family doctor is in order.

It’s also important that health consciousness doesn’t interfere with enjoyment of food. If your son is rigid in his eating habits and won’t have a treat at a birthday party or refuses to participate in social activities that involve food, it’s likely there’s a problem. Further, supplement use (eg protein powder) is often indicative of real body image concerns.

Body dissatisfaction and disordered eating can become chronic and dangerous, interfering with health and development.

Treatment is more effective when problems are caught early. When in doubt, it’s best to seek guidance from a professional with relevant expertise, such as a registered dietitian or therapist.

Charlotte Markey PhD is a professor of psychology and chair of the health sciences department at Rutgers University, USA. Her latest book, Being You: The Body Image Book for Boys, is published by Cambridge University Press.

Birthday presents on a budget

By Tamsin Ryan

Party invitations are a thrill for children, less so for presentbuying parents! However, fun does not have to be expensive. Here are some great gift ideas that will delight the recipients without breaking the bank.

The present box

Buying gifts throughout the year (during the sales or ad-hoc promotions) and setting them aside saves money and avoids the last-minute panic shopping dash. Great gifts to keep an eye out for are the mini Orchard Toys games (www.orchardtoys. com), which are usually not gender specific, cater for a broad age range and retail at £5.35. Look out for craft or gardening kits, books and outdoor games such as skipping ropes, hula hoops, goalie gloves or frisbees, which have lasting play value.

Multi-packs

Multi-packs can be divided up to create gift sets, which can be very cost effective. Mix and match the items to suit the age and interests of the birthday child. For younger kids, a bundle of ten books (The Works usually sell ten books for £10), a party pack of bubbles or a bumper pack of assorted playdough make a great gift.

Savvy shopping

High street discount shops all stock very well priced toys, craft items and books. There are also some good resources online such as www.poundtoy.com and The Entertainer (www.thetoyshop.com).

Favourite ‘go to’ gifts

Presents that get children outdoors or being creative are always a win; something like a magnifying glass and a bug identification

‘Non toy’ gifts

Children are often inundated with toys on their birthdays, so a fun t-shirt or some funky socks can work well, especially if you can find something featuring their favourite superhero or TV character. These can be very reasonably priced in high street chains and most supermarkets and parents will be pleased you’ve bought their child something to wear.

Club together Club together with other parents in the class and buy one larger toy, voucher or experience. The birthday child will get a much bigger present and it will have cost you each less.

Creative gift-wrapping can zing up the contents and it doesn’t have to cost a thing. Use pages from an old magazine or street map, leftover wallpaper or personalise a brown paper bag with lots of colour.

For more birthday party tips, read Tamsin’s blog at www.icecreamandjelly.com or Insta @icecreamandjelly_uk.

book (which come in under £10), ‘scavenger hunt’ type cards, a kite, pavement chalks or a gardening or craft kit.

Sleepless in ….wherever…

By Shyamantha Asokan

How do you juggle work and home when your kids won’t sleep?

It’s 4.30am and I’m sleeping across the bottom end of my bed. I’m all crunched up so my feet don’t dangle off the edge, with no pillow and my duvet at a weird angle. I doubt this even counts as sleep – but I’ll take whatever I can get.

So how did I get here?

My three-year-old daughter and my fifteen-month-old son are just emerging from a month of back-to-back nursery illnesses, which has thrown their sleep right off course. Although, even in normal circumstances, neither of them is great at sleeping when they should or where they should. They certainly don’t sleep like the children in all the parenting books I’ve read (seriously, who are those children?).

Here’s a typical night in our house at the moment…

• 8pm: Both kids go to sleep in their bedrooms.

• 11pm: My son wakes and will only go back to sleep in our bed. Husband goes to sofa.

• 1am: My daughter wakes and goes to sleep on the sofa with my husband.

• 2am onwards: My son wakes one or two more times and I cuddle him back to sleep with varying degrees of success. Sometimes it takes an hour.

• 6am: The kids are up for the day.

Sometimes my son falls asleep on my lap and I have to shuffle him onto our mattress at a diagonal angle, in order not to wake him, leaving me just the bottom strip of the bed to sleep on.

Sometimes he falls asleep on my arm and I have to ‘ninja slide’ it out from under him when he’s in a deep-sleep phase. The whole thing is absurd.

Writing emails in my mind

Of course, I still need to go to work – and working while sleepdeprived is brutal.

Madonna and Margaret Thatcher, two under-slept women who were big in the 1980s, both seemed to equate a lack of rest with a passion for their job. This is questionable for a million reasons. Tracy Emin, big in the 1990s, perhaps more sensibly described her insomnia as ‘crippling.’

In any case, I just turn out to be a rubbish version of my usual self. My eyes burn as I read research reports, concentrating is hard and pretending not to be tired is tiring.

In meetings, part of me is listening to what everyone is saying but part of me is just thinking about how well-slept they all look. If you’ve had a meeting with me recently and you thought I was a bit distracted, it’s because I was thinking about how great the skin under your eyes looks.

Overnight, when I’m woken by the kids, I struggle to go back to sleep as work-thoughts pop up and race around my head. I lie at the bottom of the bed and write emails in my mind. Meanwhile my son snuffles and snores like a contented little sea-lion, in his rightful place at the centre of the only double bed in the house.

I was, of course, working when I was on maternity leave last year – looking after children and running a house is a job. But I was surrounded by other women with young children, in a blearyeyed ecosystem where everyone was tired. The professional

‘back-to-work’ world feels very different. Arianna Huffington has said that sleep is a feminist issue, as women get far less of it than men.

But, in the midst of it all, there are suddenly moments of pure rest.

There are endless parenting books that tell you not to cosleep with your children but in my family’s case it’s a balm for everyone involved. At the weekend I have afternoon naps with my daughter and her truly innocent sleep, the kind that only a child can have, calms me until I drop off too.

Shyamantha Asokan is a Midlands-based journalist and mother of two. This blog is part of a series called The Chaos Train, a record of daily life when you have a career and preschool children.

With thanks to www.workingmums.co.uk who host her blog online. Find part time, home based and flexible full-time jobs plus advice for working mums on its site.

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