Families Upon Thames November/December 2022 Print

Upon Thames

Choosing the right primary school

By Gabrielle Nash

If your child turns four this academic year, they’ll be starting Reception next September and now’s the time to make their primary school application. Exciting times!

Your child’s primary school and its community becomes a large part of your family’s life, so feeling happy about the choice is very important. Depending on where you live you might have just one, two or maybe three schools to apply to. Or there may be numerous schools if you live in a city. So how do you go about knowing which will be a good fit for you and your child?

The catchment area

School catchment area is a key admission criterion for schools. This is generally based on the furthest distance that a pupil was admitted to the school the previous year but boundaries can be extended or shrink, according to the variables of each intake year. For example, one year there may be a larger cohort of siblings or looked-after children taking priority or it may be a year with a high birth rate, so the map alone does not guarantee your top choice.

You can check each school’s catchment area through your local authority to establish whether you’re likely to fall within it. Think carefully before aiming for a school for which you’re not in the catchment area. You don’t want to waste one of your choices.

Consider your working week. If you’re commuting to work, how will you do that after school drop-off? Is there a train or bus nearby or space to park your car?

A good fit

Every school is organised and managed differently, so you’ll need to do some research to see what each school offers and what matters most to you. When you’re shortlisting schools, it’s important to visit to get a feel for each one. Go armed with lists of questions and an open mind.

Each school will have its own personality but so does your child. Are they loud or reserved? Smaller schools with just one-form entry might suit a quieter child. If your child has any special educational needs, you’ll want to know the school caters well for them.

Extras

What wrap-around care does the school offer? If it doesn’t suit your needs, are there sufficient alternative options? Find out which secondary schools pupils go on to and see how that impacts on your thought process. For example, if a high proportion of the pupils go to the best local secondary school, then that’s a plus.

Top tips

Ofsted inspectors give ratings in their report: outstanding, good, requires improvement or inadequate. The Ofsted report also gives feedback on how different groups of children fare and the school’s strengths and weaknesses. While an Ofsted report is important, do not base your decision solely upon it.

Reach out to school parents on social media to get a range of opinions. See how they align with yours.

Go through the application procedure on your local authority’s website so you’re fully aware of the process.

Faith schools are an attractive option in many areas but it’s likely you’ll need to complete an additional form outlining your family’s religious practices.

When you are allocated your child’s school place in the spring, you can consider appealing the decision if you’re unhappy with the outcome. There are no guarantees the position will change though.

If you have a summer-born child, you may be able to defer their school start. You’ll need to approach your local authority.

Top resources

Find and compare schools in England at www.gov.uk/schoolperformance-tables

Get to grips with your child’s move into full-time education, with the Good Schools Guide (www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk) and The School Run (www.theschoolrun.com)

Understand the school’s catchment area with the interactive tool at The School Guide (www.schoolguide.co.uk)

If you’re a parent of a child with additional needs, seek further specialist advice at My Family Needs (www.myfamilyneeds. co.uk)

Reach out to other parents for parent-focussed tips on how to choose a school. Local Facebook groups are useful but so are resources that host forums where you can contact other parents eg www.mumsnet.com and www.netmums.com

For when the day finally arrives, there are some super resources for starting primary school at BBC Bitesize (www.bbc.co.uk/ bitesize) and Family Lives (www.familylives.org.uk).

Educating for the future

By Louise Livingston

Children are often asked what they want to be when they grow up. From farmers to flight attendants, astronauts to doctors, the answers are always a mix of familiar careers. But astonishingly, over two thirds of children joining primary school this September will end up in jobs that don’t yet exist. Think back thirty years - there were no social media managers or Bitcoin traders!

Today’s workplace is rapidly changing. As Richard Riley, former Secretary of Education, said: ‘We are currently preparing students for jobs that don’t yet exist, using technologies that haven’t been invented to solve problems we don’t even know are problems yet.’

It’s a challenge and mainstream education will be required to adjust. Is an education system that focuses mainly on teaching children academic subjects outdated? Focusing on tests and exam results will not deliver for a future which will need creative, flexible problem-solvers who can collaborate.

The visionary educational pioneer, Maria Montessori, recognised this when she wrote,

‘Education must no longer be mostly imparting knowledge but must take a new path, seeking the release of human potentialities.’

In Montessori education, children are guided by a teacher trained in child observation and development. Classrooms provide open-ended, hands-on activities where children choose tasks appropriate to their stage of development.

With activities so targeted to each child’s individual needs and interests, children are engaged and motivated to concentrate, persevere and develop self-discipline. In addition, the activities are designed to encourage children to think flexibly and come up with creative solutions. In the early years, this may simply be how to unbuckle their shoes or share a snack. Later, it may be an exploration of the Jurassic period or a novel approach to solving quadratic equations.

Mixed-age classes with children aged up to three years apart is another key feature of Montessori education. Younger children learn from older role models and older children benefit from the experience too. In this mini community, children share resources, put things away ready for someone else after they have used them and help each other. This fosters social collaboration and builds emotional intelligence.

Louise Livingston has over thirty years’ experience in education and a background in educational neuroscience. She is Head of Training at the Maria Montessori Institute (www.mariamontessori.org), which offers Montessori teacher training, online short courses and the Maria Montessori School for ages 2 to 12 in London.

Age is just a number

In a Montessori environment, children with a three-year age span work alongside each other, choosing and taking part in activities as and when they are developmentally ready. This is in sharp contrast to mainstream approaches which typically require children to learn the same things at the same time, in the same year group.

Developmentally, there can be a marked difference in the abilities of the youngest and oldest children in a standard classroom and how readily they can pass set milestones and tests.

Montessori, children develop capacities at their own pace, building on a firm foundation of what they can already do.

Mistakes are viewed positively as an opportunity to find a different way of doing something, whereas sometimes mainstream approaches can make children feel that ‘getting it right’ is all that matters. When mistakes are valued as part of the learning process, a child’s confidence grows, they are able to try new things and contribute their ideas, exemplifying the fact that everyone has a unique perspective to offer.

Meet the Head Special feature Meet the Head

What is your favourite thing about being Head of Hampton Pre-Prep & Prep?

The nature and quality of the personal relationships we enjoy with each other here - pupils, teachers and parents. This contributes significantly to our school standing out. It’s friendly, informal and relaxed and we all get on very well with one another!

When students see you around the school, what are you most likely to be doing?

Wandering about, checking what everyone is up to, popping into lessons, sitting with pupils at lunch, watching sport…I love being involved with the buzz of school life.

Hampton Pre-Prep & Prep is co-educational until Year 3. What would you say in support of co-education for boys and girls in the early years?

From our experience, co-education in KS1 has a range of benefits. Boys and girls gain confidence and learn how to interact and empathise with each other, as well as show kindness and understanding.

What about your Pre-Prep are you most proud of?

The progress our pupils make from Kindergarten through to the end of Year 2. It’s well above national age-related expectations.

Are there any differences in approach between educating both boys and girls and educating solely boys?

Our experience shows that boys and girls tend to learn differently and schools that choose to focus on single-sex education have more freedom in using the best teaching approaches. This ensures that pupils can fulfil their potential, inside and outside the classroom.

What do you think makes children enjoy going to school and fully engage with learning? How do you prioritise this?

Relationships, relationships, relationships – happy children learn! It’s easy to say but that’s because it’s true.

When we ask our children (and parents) what they like about our school, they tell us that it’s warm and welcoming. Pupils feel nurtured and encouraged to discover their own interests and be productive and creative. We ensure plenty of academic variety and honest, productive feedback to help all our children enjoy their time at school and fulfil their potential.

How do you personally get involved in helping parents and students navigate the 11+?

We have a trusted and well-established system in place that allows for both structured meetings with parents and also informal chats. It’s vitally important

to us that our pupils move on to schools that are right for them, where they will thrive and flourish. We spend a lot of time with parents and children to ensure this happens.

What is your proudest achievement?

The prominence of our L.I.O.N. Award in school life in the Prep. The acronym stands for Leadership, Independence and Opportunities to Nurture and it’s our bespoke leadership skills and creativity programme. The pupils love it!

What qualities and values make you particularly suited to the role of Head?

As any successful Head will tell you, it’s a unique privilege to play a role in the education of young people. Their love of learning, inquisitive natures and sense of wonder and fun are inspiring and invigorating. No two days are ever the same!

What’s your next big challenge?

At Hampton Pre-Prep & Prep, we are always assessing how to progress our teaching and learning and so we prioritise staying up to speed with the national (and international) education agenda. All schools will need to continue making the most of STEM educational opportunities as tech will inevitably play a significant role in our current pupils’ lives. The challenge is to embrace the opportunities tech offers while ensuring the human element isn’t forgotten.

Does our education system focus too much on acquiring facts and not enough on acquiring skills?

Knowledge definitely matters. In terms of my understanding of the neuroscience behind learning, the more you know, the more you can know. Both knowledge and skills should be developed in tandem, in my view.

What is your favourite time of the school day?

Mid-morning-ish…I love the feeling of the school day being underway, there is a gentle hum of learning and industry and everyone is settled and engaged with their lessons.

What is your most useless skill?

I have one joke in my repertoire and it’s school/education focussed….!

What is your real-life superpower?

I am embarrassingly proud of my ability to (nearly always) produce the perfect poached egg for Saturday brunch.

Hampton Pre-Prep and Prep School teaches girls ages 3 to 7 and boys ages 3 to 11. Visit www.hamptonprep.org.uk for more information.

Families chats with Tim Smith, Head of Hampton Pre-Prep and Prep School.

Why should my child aim for university?

Your child is probably still at primary school or may not even have started school yet but, at some point during their education, the question of whether or not they will go to university will doubtless come up.

Deciding whether to go to university or not depends on the career your child wants to pursue but not every student that embarks upon a university course is dead set on a specific career.

The good news is that all university courses equip students with transferable skills that benefit their careers. Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh believes that whatever the course, a university education will equip your child with these skills. Here they explore why the key skills learnt at university can make a student more employable.

Teamwork

Group projects undertaken at university are valuable because teamwork is an essential skill that’s required in almost any job you can think of. Even if your child pursues a career that involves a lot of individual work, like becoming an author or photographer, they will still need teamwork skills.

Through team activities at university, students learn how to work with a variety of other people. In our lives and careers, many of us might have experienced group work with someone who does not pull their weight or someone who wants total control.

Knowing how to deal with these issues professionally will be vital for your child’s future career. They will also gain valuable experience in supporting others, as well as collaborating with other people to come up with new ideas.

Planning and organisation skills

Alongside time management, the ability to plan out their workload and organise tasks and events will be useful for your child in any number of employment roles. If they choose to undertake a degree that is very practical, they will have a lot of opportunities to hone these skills in scenarios that will present themselves in the world of work. If they are considering a more theory-based degree, they will learn how to plan tasks that require a lot of work hours, like their dissertation.

Time management

Two of the greatest skills learned at university are how to manage time effectively and how to work to both long and short-term deadlines.

Coursework projects, like essay submissions and a dissertation, tend to be medium-to-long-term projects and your child will likely be juggling multiple projects simultaneously.

Additionally, your child might have practical work to complete or a presentation to create and present in a lecture.

Managing multiple projects that have different requirements and deadlines helps them learn to prioritise, which is key to time management.

Outside of their studies, there are other opportunities to hone these skills at university too, like volunteering. Student Volunteering Week, which usually happens during February, gives students an amazing opportunity to take part in organised volunteering projects.

Volunteering doesn’t have to be limited to one week each year either. Most universities have partnerships with charities and businesses, offering volunteering opportunities year-round.

This could involve organising fundraising events for a chosen charity, providing support during an event, or even getting out on the streets to raise awareness or money. All these events can help students enhance their planning and organisational skills, as well as many others.

When the time comes, whether your child has a dream career carved out in their head or they are still pondering their options, going to university can equip them with skills that are valuable in any job role.

One of the key benefits of university is the transferable skills it delivers; these can make a young person more employable, whichever degree they have studied.

In fact, transferable skills are key to your child’s future at work. Their ability to problem-solve, be creative, resilient and adaptable and willing to lead, will contribute massively to any job in any industry.

That’s why, these days, employers consider transferable skills to be a priority when evaluating potential candidates for positions. According to Barclays, three quarters of employers prioritise these above or equal to technical skills when recruiting new employees.

Introducing a new sibling

Introducing a new baby into the family can be an exciting yet nerve-wracking time for parents. Here are some tips on the best ways to prepare your older children for the impending arrival of their baby sibling and help them to feel loved and included during the process.

Explain what’s going to happen

If they are under the age of two, they may not be that interested at all and take the idea of a new addition to the family in their stride. However, a slightly older child might be bursting with questions or struggle emotionally with the transition.

Prepare them for what to expect

Explain that the new baby is going to be with mummy or daddy most of the time and the baby is going to do a lot of sleeping, crying and feeding. This will also help manage their expectations so they won’t expect their new sibling to be a playmate from the moment they enter your home!

Tell the story of their birth

Show your children some old photographs of when you were pregnant with them or of them when they were a baby. Talk to them about what it was like when they were younger and how they too cried and fed all hours of the day. This will be a lovely bonding exercise and help them understand why the new baby will need more attention initially.

Role play looking after the baby

Using a doll is another great way to introduce your children to the idea of having a baby around the home. They can practise

how to be gentle, hold the baby and talk to them. Overall, this helps to normalise the idea of a baby. Better still, if you’ve got friends or family with small babies, set up meet ups or playdates so your child can get used to hearing baby cries, being around a baby and observing how mums and babies interact.

Get them involved in the planning

Ask them what they think of the names you’ve picked for the baby. Chances are they won’t like your choices and would much prefer Spider-Man or Peppa but the key thing is to value their opinions!

Take them shopping for newborn essentials

It will help them feel important if you let them pick some baby clothes. They could also help put new items away, pack the baby changing bag or even prepare the nursery.

With thanks to leading UK baby brand, Nuby (www.nuby-uk. com) for this article.

When baby arrives

Get your children involved in caregiving.

It’s tempting for any parent to be extra cautious when managing a toddler or young child around a baby. However, allowing your older children to have some involvement in looking after the baby is key in making them feel included rather than pushed out.

Singing to the baby, helping bathe them or passing the wipes or a clean nappy are all easy little tasks that can help a new older sibling feel like they have an important role in the family.

Let them meet their new sibling as soon as possible. A hospital may feel big and scary but the more included they feel at this stage, the more they will continue to do so down the line.

Your child is not going to understand perfectly how to behave around their baby sibling straightaway. They will make mistakes. One thing to avoid is punishing them or telling them to go away when this happens. Just be patient, calmly explain what they should do instead and let them have another go.

Make them the focus

Family and friends will be enamoured with the new baby which may make your older children feel left out. It will help them feel much more secure and loved if you heap attention on them as well. Being full of praise, especially when they’re around the baby, will really help boost their confidence and esteem.

A ‘gift’ from the new baby to their older sibling is also a wonderful way to instil good feelings from the get-go. Show how much the newborn loves their older siblings already and can’t wait to get to know them.

The stress of the change may cause your children to act out or behave badly; remember, it’s normal. They may also start to regress and act younger than their age. Being patient and praising them for their good behaviour might help reduce this.

When introducing a new baby, one of parents’ biggest fears is that their older children will feel left out. Try to not feel guilty about spending less time with them and instead focus on quality time over quantity.

Win an Apple iPad or Samsung Galaxy tablet!

Enter the Toyota Dream Car 2023 Contest

Design a wild, wonderful yet environmentally-friendly idea for future vehicle.

Hand-drawn or digitally designed, entries should include a colourful background and explanation of how the vehicle works and what makes it special.

Winning entries in each age category (under 8s, 8 to 11 and 12 to 15) will receive an Apple iPad. Second and third-placed entries will win a Samsung Galaxy tablet.

Entry forms and details: www.toyota.co.uk/dreamcar-2023

Closing date: 23 December.

Shine like a star with Stagecoach Twickenham & Teddington

Local professional actors, Sarah and Will Chitty, who have run Stagecoach Twickenham & Teddington for ten years, offer dynamic, fun, creative, nurturing and inspiring performing arts classes for children ages 4 to 18.

Their drive and passion have created weekly classes in dance, drama and singing in which confidence is nurtured, friendships are forged and every opportunity is taken to develop and inspire all the students who attend.

In classes led by DBS checked industry professionals, who bring their own passion and experience to every class, students learn to perform in a safe and friendly environment, gaining experience, skills, self-esteem and Creative Courage for Life.

Stagecoach Twickenham & Teddington offers opportunities for extra singing lessons, performance troupes, additional dance, accredited LAMDA exams, incredible holiday workshops, West End showcases, professional castings and links with theatrical agents.

These opportunities have seen students perform everywhere from local lights up events and holiday fairs to The Grosvenor House Hotel, Alton Towers, Rugby Stadiums with Tokio Myers, The West End and most recently on screen in a top-secret feature film for Netflix and pilot for Disney+!

Sarah and Will are also forging strong links with the prestigious ArtsEd Day School and Sixth Form with unique, private audition days for their students and several students currently attending the school.

At Stagecoach Twickenham & Teddington those who attend learn to fly, spread their wings and go on to professional jobs and courses but equally they also come every week to shine, grow, develop, work as a team find their voice and celebrate all their talents and creative ideas. Whatever the needs of each individual child, Sarah, Will and their passionate team, strive to help them to achieve it.

Parents say:

‘Please let me express my sincere appreciation for everything you do for these gorgeous kids, mine included. You are awesome.’

‘THANK YOU so much... Nothing lights M up as much as her time with you guys, it is just the best thing to see.’

Classes run on Thursdays and Fridays at Waldegrave School, Twickenham and Saturdays at St Marys & St Peter’s School, Teddington and St Catherine’s School, Twickenham.

More information Web: www.stagecoach.co.uk/teddington www.stageocach.co.uk/twickenham Email: twickenham@stagecoach.co.uk teddington@stagecoach.co.uk Phone: 07824 999414 or 020 8979 5276

Dance – movement with purpose

By Andrew Campbell

If your child enjoys dancing prancing around the house practising their moves and can’t be dragged away from Strictly even if chocolate or ice cream are on offer, signing up for dance classes is a great way to tap into their enthusiasm for music and

As well as being lots of fun, dance classes offer a host of other advantages:

Physical

Dance improves flexibility, coordination, balance, range of motion, stamina, muscle tone, strength and posture.

Self-awareness

Through dance, children develop spatial awareness, become less clumsy and pay more attention to others sharing their space. It can help them feel more at home in their own skin.

Self-expression

Children struggling with language can express their feelings and creativity with immediacy and in a positive way through dance and movement.

Socialisation Dance is a highly social activity. In a dance class, children learn how to work as part of a team, develop a greater sense

of trust and co-operation and make new friends.

Cognitive Development Children strengthen their cognitive abilities and memory skills through learning and remembering choreography.

Behaviour Dancing requires intense focus, discipline and co-ordination. This can have a calming effect and help children release pent-up energy and emotion.

Self-confidence Dance helps build self-confidence with each new routine practised and mastered.

There are a wide range of dance classes available locally for both boys and girls –from pre-school ballet classes to primary ballet, tap, street dance, pop and more.

A friendly & professional dance school with classes suitable for all ages and abilities giving students a safe space to learn and have fun

Ballet Modern Tap Contemporary Acro Pilates

www kewacademydance co uk office@kewacademydance co uk 07967341117

Danceforce

Try some family curling in Twickenham!

This winter, the latest cool seasonal family activity is coming to South West London! From 30 November, The Shack in Twickenham (outside Twickenham train station), is being taken over by The Curling Club.

Famous for being a rugby venue, from the end of November, The Shack will be transformed into the latest curling activity bar and the first in South West London. You and your family will be able to head down and try your hand at casual curling.

Based on the Winter Olympic sport of curling, the sport’s ambassador, Eve Muirhead, captained Team GB to gold medal glory in February. You can now emulate her and the team by gliding your stones down a fit-for-purpose sheet giving you an experience as close to the real deal without the need for ice or specialist footwear.

Space is limited so book today and make a date to do something different this winter!

Book at www.thecurlingclub.com/Twickenham

Goldilocks & The Three Bears at Richmond Theatre

Take the whole family to the circus this Christmas with Goldilocks and the Three Bears at Richmond Theatre!

Running from 3 to 31 December, Richmond Theatre brings the magic of the Big Top to the theatre stage in this magnificent show which features international circus acts expertly entwined with all the classic comedy moments and other traditions of pantomime – it’s a winning combination which makes Goldilocks the perfect festive family show!

The show stars TV favourite, Matt Baker, from The One Show as Joey the Clown, reprising the role he originated in the critically acclaimed 2019 London Palladium production. Jessica Martin joins the cast as villain Countess Von Vinklebottom, with Nigel Ellacott playing Dame Betty Barnum.

Goldilocks and the Three Bears is all set to be the ‘greatest panto on earth’ – it will entrance your family and keep them talking long after Christmas has passed.

More info and tickets at www.atgtickets.com/Richmond

From 18 November to 8 January, experience the magic of wildlife as WWT London Wetland Centre comes alive at night for this year’s ILLUMINATURE light trail.

Explore the wetlands after dark on this enchanting, fun-filled light trail. Follow twinkling lights through mystical marshland, the peculiar pond and owl woods, bask in the glow of illuminated sculptures and stunning light installations and find out amazing facts about wetland wildlife.

Spot brilliant birds and beautiful plant life through night vision goggles and spy a happily snoozing otter family. Race your friends across glowing lily pads, explore the phases of the moon and be mesmerised by a forest of neon birds. With a host of interactive experiences on offer, including sparkling photo opportunities and yummy hot chocolate, it’s the perfect family evening – enjoy the glow of animal magic and fall under nature’s spell!

More info and booking at www.wwt.org.uk/illuminature

Christmas with the National Trust in Surrey

Enjoy Christmas at your local National Trust property!

Soak up the atmosphere of a traditional country house Christmas at Hatchlands Park, take a crisp stroll through the parkland and spot hidden musical animals. Peek inside the hidden snowy inner courtyard and find a golden partridge in a pear tree as you admire the 12 Days of Christmas theme in the sumptuous house at Polesden Lacey.

Enjoy outdoor trails at Claremont Landscape Garden and Polesden Lacey too, whilst at Winkworth Arboretum, relive the magic of Raymond Briggs’ heart-warming picture book The Snowman™ and search for twelve decorated snowman sculptures along the wintry woodland family trail. Book ahead at www.nationaltrust.org.uk/winkworth-arboretum.

Visit the cosy tearoom and bookshop at Dapdune Wharf and River Wey Navigations, enjoy free craft activities and spot winter wildlife on Dapdune Island.

Dates and website addresses in the What’s On section.

Lightening the mental load this Christmas

By Chloe Lowe

Christmas is one of the busiest times of the year for parents. The pressure to create the perfect experience for everyone builds into a behemoth balancing on a plate of mince pies, threatening to crumble at any minute.

The upward comparison with Insta-perfect mums and crafting geniuses, let alone the constant narrative in the press, on television and on social media, means the mental load reaches an all-time high during the festive season and it’s well documented that mums bear the heaviest burden.

The sheer volume of things to think about and do can quickly lead to high-stress, low mood and burnout and not enjoying a minute of Christmas.

It’s very British to need to present the perfect picture. But when you realise that you can’t control everything, including the actions of your extended family or your delivery man, it can be truly liberating!

How to create your ‘perfectly imperfect’ Christmas

Here’s a few tips on how to manage the mental load this Christmas and feel good about it too.

Grab a pen and paper and write a list of the top three things that mean the most to you this Christmas.

Focus on those first. Doing a few things well will feel so much better than spreading yourself too thin and doing lots of things, just ‘ok’.

Ask for and accept help - it’s a sign of strength, not a weakness.

Slow down to speed up. Running on caffeine at one hundred miles per hour is detrimental to your mind and body. Slowing down and taking some deep breaths or even indulging in a Christmas movie, will help you reset, re-energise and get some headspace.

Ask yourself what your children really want and need this Christmas and focus on that rather than succumbing to the pressure to spoil them or compete with peers.

Reduce your time on social media. It’s amazing how many hours you’ll get back.

Avoid too many excesses. Don’t deprive yourself of a glass of fizz and a few mince pies but counter them with a family walk in the fresh air or a healthy breakfast or lunch.

And don’t forget to give yourself the gift of self-care so that you can enjoy Christmas too.

Chloe Lowe is founder of @parentlistapp (www.parentlist. app), the app for busy parents who want to find joy in parenting.

Choosing and caring for your Christmas tree

We all want a fabulous Christmas tree that lasts as long as possible. Here are some tips for selecting and maintaining your tree.

How do I select a tree that’s the correct height for my room?

Measure the distance between your ceiling and floor, which gives you the vertical height limit. Take a note of the height of your tree stand. Deduct the height of the stand from your vertical height limit and you have the maximum possible height of tree that your room can accommodate. Take these measurements with you. Doing this preparation will ensure you don’t end up coming home with a tree that is too tall.

Is my tree fresh and how long will it last?

A healthy tree will have bright and shiny needles, not dry and dull. If you spot any grey sections, that’s a sign of dehydration which means that the tree is not that fresh.

If the tree is fresh, the needles should not break easily and should be hard to pull off. If the trunk is sticky and there is any sap residue, the tree is fresh. Also, the tree should be heavy, which means it is freshly cut and still contains all its water.

Which trees typically survive longest?

Choose Douglas or Nordmann Firs as the best options. If cared for well, they can last for about six weeks before withering, offering the best longevity throughout the Christmas season.

Lower the temperature in the room where you put up your tree, as this really slows down the drying process and keeps your tree fresher for longer.

What are the best watering tricks?

Your tree will need one litre of water per three cm of the stem diameter. That means a fresh cut tree can consume four to five litres a day. Watering is critical, especially for Norway Spruce trees.

Check the water level daily and never let it go below the tree’s base. Without water at the tree’s base, the tree will dry out within a week. The temperature of the water is not that important and no, you can’t overwater your tree, it will absorb only as much as it wants.

How to give a fading Christmas tree new life

Give your tree a good trim which will reduce the number of water-requiring branches. Keep the room as cool as possible and move your tree to the darkest place of the room.

Families would like to thank Fantastic Services (www.fantasticservices. com) for this article.

Birthday presents on a budget

By Tamsin Ryan

Party invitations are a thrill for children, less so for presentbuying parents! However, fun does not have to be expensive. Here are some great gift ideas that will delight the recipients without breaking the bank.

The present box

Buying gifts throughout the year (during the sales or ad-hoc promotions) and setting them aside saves money and avoids the last-minute panic shopping dash. Great gifts to keep an eye out for are the mini Orchard Toys games (www.orchardtoys. com), which are usually not gender specific, cater for a broad age range and retail at £5.35. Look out for craft or gardening kits, books and outdoor games such as skipping ropes, hula hoops, goalie gloves or frisbees, which have lasting play value.

Multi-packs

Multi-packs can be divided up to create gift sets, which can be very cost effective. Mix and match the items to suit the age and interests of the birthday child. For younger kids, a bundle of ten books (The Works usually sell ten books for £10), a party pack of bubbles or a bumper pack of assorted playdough make a great gift.

Savvy shopping

High street discount shops all stock very well priced toys, craft items and books. There are also some good resources online such as www.poundtoy.com and The Entertainer (www.thetoyshop.com).

Favourite ‘go to’ gifts

Presents that get children outdoors or being creative are always a win; something like a magnifying glass and a bug identification

‘Non toy’ gifts

Children are often inundated with toys on their birthdays, so a fun t-shirt or some funky socks can work well, especially if you can find something featuring their favourite superhero or TV character. These can be very reasonably priced in high street chains and most supermarkets and parents will be pleased you’ve bought their child something to wear.

Club together Club together with other parents in the class and buy one larger toy, voucher or experience. The birthday child will get a much bigger present and it will have cost you each less.

Creative gift-wrapping can zing up the contents and it doesn’t have to cost a thing. Use pages from an old magazine or street map, leftover wallpaper or personalise a brown paper bag with lots of colour.

For more birthday party tips, read Tamsin’s blog at www.icecreamandjelly.com or Insta @icecreamandjelly_uk.

Eco ideas

Handmade: With a little time and creativity, handmade presents are a very cheap option; hair scrunchies, superhero masks, embellished t-shirts, crochet toys, personalised totes or hand knitted beanies.

Scrap schemes: These are a great source of free and cheap craft materials, such as paper, fabric, elastic, ribbons, beads and sequins. Not only do these make crafting even cheaper, they also help the planet by using up materials that would otherwise have gone to landfill, so it’s win-win! Try www.reusefuluk.org.

Pre-loved: Gifting pre-loved is becoming more acceptable. So many toys are untouched and unloved and whether it’s something your own children don’t want or a toy purchased from a charity shop, children really don’t mind! It’s also worth noting that many pre-loved marketplaces and charity shops also sell brand new toys that are looking for a new home; some real bargains can be found that anyone would be very happy to re-gift.

Grow your own: Gift wrap a plant pot with a little bag of compost and some seeds for a gift that will keep growing!

Fiver parties

Whilst these might feel a little lacking in imagination, ‘fiver parties’ are increasing in popularity and it’s easy to see why.

Popping a £5 note in an envelope removes the need to worry about your budget and hunt down a suitable gift. And let’s face it, how often does the birthday child play with every single gift they receive from a classful of guests?

‘Fiver parties’ give parents the chance to buy something larger that they know the birthday child really wants and saves the risk of duplicate or unwanted gifts.

Freed from the mountain of presents, which can seem a bit much sometimes, fiver parties place the focus on the more inclusive experience of sharing time, games and tea with friends.

Another plus point is that fiver parties can introduce a child to money management. Once the birthday child has experienced the excitement of a fistful of cash, there’s a lesson in choosing whether to save or spend, then working out what they can afford to buy.

book (which come in under £10), ‘scavenger hunt’ type cards, a kite, pavement chalks or a gardening or craft kit.

Sleepless in ….wherever…

By Shyamantha Asokan

How do you juggle work and home when your kids won’t sleep?

It’s 4.30am and I’m sleeping across the bottom end of my bed. I’m all crunched up so my feet don’t dangle off the edge, with no pillow and my duvet at a weird angle. I doubt this even counts as sleep – but I’ll take whatever I can get.

So how did I get here?

My three-year-old daughter and my fifteen-month-old son are just emerging from a month of back-to-back nursery illnesses, which has thrown their sleep right off course. Although, even in normal circumstances, neither of them is great at sleeping when they should or where they should. They certainly don’t sleep like the children in all the parenting books I’ve read (seriously, who are those children?).

Here’s a typical night in our house at the moment…

• 8pm: Both kids go to sleep in their bedrooms.

• 11pm: My son wakes and will only go back to sleep in our bed. Husband goes to sofa.

• 1am: My daughter wakes and goes to sleep on the sofa with my husband.

• 2am onwards: My son wakes one or two more times and I cuddle him back to sleep with varying degrees of success. Sometimes it takes an hour.

• 6am: The kids are up for the day.

Sometimes my son falls asleep on my lap and I have to shuffle him onto our mattress at a diagonal angle, in order not to wake him, leaving me just the bottom strip of the bed to sleep on.

Sometimes he falls asleep on my arm and I have to ‘ninja slide’ it out from under him when he’s in a deep-sleep phase. The whole thing is absurd.

Writing emails in my mind

Of course, I still need to go to work – and working while sleepdeprived is brutal.

Madonna and Margaret Thatcher, two under-slept women who were big in the 1980s, both seemed to equate a lack of rest with a passion for their job. This is questionable for a million reasons. Tracy Emin, big in the 1990s, perhaps more sensibly described her insomnia as ‘crippling.’

In any case, I just turn out to be a rubbish version of my usual self. My eyes burn as I read research reports, concentrating is hard and pretending not to be tired is tiring.

In meetings, part of me is listening to what everyone is saying but part of me is just thinking about how well-slept they all look. If you’ve had a meeting with me recently and you thought I was a bit distracted, it’s because I was thinking about how great the skin under your eyes looks.

Overnight, when I’m woken by the kids, I struggle to go back to sleep as work-thoughts pop up and race around my head. I lie at the bottom of the bed and write emails in my mind. Meanwhile my son snuffles and snores like a contented little sea-lion, in his rightful place at the centre of the only double bed in the house.

I was, of course, working when I was on maternity leave last year – looking after children and running a house is a job. But I was surrounded by other women with young children, in a blearyeyed ecosystem where everyone was tired. The professional

‘back-to-work’

world feels very different. Arianna Huffington has said that sleep is a feminist issue, as women get far less of it than men.

But, in the midst of it all, there are suddenly moments of pure rest.

There are endless parenting books that tell you not to cosleep with your children but in my family’s case it’s a balm for everyone involved. At the weekend I have afternoon naps with my daughter and her truly innocent sleep, the kind that only a child can have, calms me until I drop off too.

Shyamantha Asokan is a Midlands-based journalist and mother of two. This blog is part of a series called The Chaos Train, a record of daily life when you have a career and preschool children.

With thanks to www.workingmums.co.uk who host her blog online. Find part time, home based and flexible full-time jobs plus advice for working mums on its site.

What’s on

All listings are correct at the time of publication. Please check with the venue before you visit in case anything has changed.

Every Tue & Fri until 20 Dec Storytelling for Pre-Schoolers at Landmark Arts Centre

Music and storytelling for ages 2-4 to assist with language and cognitive skills. www.landmarkartscentre.org

Every Fri-Sun from 11-27 Nov Enchanted Woodland at Syon Park

See the six hundred year old gardens transformed by a display of lights and music. www.enchantedwoodland.com

Wed 16 Nov-Sun 8 Jan

Christmas at Kew

Enjoy the tenth anniversary of the annual after-dark festivities at Kew Gardens. www.kew.org/christmas

Thu 17 Nov-Sun 8 Jan

Ice Rink at Hampton Court Palace

Located in front of the spectacular palace. www.hamptoncourtpalaceicerink. co.uk

Fri 18 Nov-Sun 8 Jan

ILLUMINATURE at London Wetland Centre

Explore the wonder of wildlife at night in this unique light trail. www.wwt.org.uk/wetlandcentres/london

Thu 10 Nov-Sat 24 Dec

Kingston Christmas Market

European style market stalls with bar, live music, Candy Cane Forest and new Curling Experience. www.kingstonchristmasmarket. co.uk

Fri, Sat-Sun 11 Nov – 18 Dec & daily 19-23 Dec

Dapdune Wharf and River Wey Navigations

Visit the cosy tearoom bookshop overlooking the Wey and enjoy morning coffee, light lunch and afternoon tea, as you delve into a fabulous selection of second-hand books. Families can enjoy free Christmas themed crafts in the Gunpowder Store and keep a look out for winter wildlife on Dapdune island. Free entry.

www.nationaltrust.org.uk/riverwey-and-godalming-navigationsand-dapdune-wharf

Thu 17-Sun 20 Nov & Wed-Sun 23-27 Nov & daily in Dec Santa’s Grotto at The Bentall Centre

The magical grotto will be aglow on selected dates in November and then daily in December. www.bentallcentre.co.uk

Fri 18 Nov, 2 & 16 Dec

Museum Monkeys at Chertsey Museum

Join Charlie the Chimp for singing, stories and crafts for under 5s. www.chertseymuseum.org

Fri 18 Nov, 2 & 16 Dec

Play:Make:Art at Orleans House Gallery

Creative drop-in session for ages 2-5 years. www.orleanshousegallery.org

Fri 18 Nov-Sun 8 Jan

Glow 2021 at Wisley

Follow dazzling displays lighting a magical trail through the garden. www.rhs.org.uk/wisley

Sat 19 & Sun 20 Nov

Steaming Weekend at Kempton Steam Museum

Watch the unique and enormous ancient steam engines in action. www.kemptonsteam.org

Sat 19 Nov-Sun 8 Jan

Festive Hero Trail at Painshill Park

Go in search of larger-than-life superheroes scattered around the garden. www.painshill.co.uk

Thu 24 Nov

Teddington Christmas Lights Festival 2022

Christmas lights return to Teddington High Street with festive entertainment. From 5.30pm. www.teddingtontogether.org

Tue 22 Nov & Tue 6 Dec

Curious Tots at Orleans House Gallery

Super sensory session for prewalking toddlers and babies. www.orleanshousegallery.org

Thu 24 Nov–Sat 24 Dec

Christmas at Bocketts Farm

Enjoy a magical festive family day out including a visit to meet Father Christmas. www.bockettsfarm.co.uk

From Fri 25 Nov to Fri 23 Dec

Santa at London Transport Museum

Meet Santa in a twinkling winter wonderland at Covent Garden. Kids go free. www.ltmuseum.co.uk

Sat 26 Nov Christmas Decorations Family Workshops at Landmark Arts Centre

Create your own gingerbread person decoration. For ages 7-14 www.landmarkartscentre.org

Walton on Thames Festival of Light

Includes Christmas market, performances and the lights procession. 11.30am-7pm. www.lovewalton.co.uk

Pick a Pine at Ockham Common Chop down your own Christmas tree and become an eco-warrior. www.surreywildlifetrust.org

Sat 26 Nov

Claygate Village Christmas Lights

Traditional opening of Christmas in Claygate, stalls, entertainment and carols from 4.30pm. More on their Facebook page.

Sat 26 Nov-Sat 24 Dec Santa’s Grotto at Squires, Shepperton

Meet Santa in his magical grotto at Squires Garden Centre in Shepperton, £7 per child. www.squiresgardencentre.co.uk

Sat 26 Nov-Mon 2 Jan Christmas at Claremont Landscape Gardens

A fun filled family trail, winter warmers from the café and stunning views on walks. Normal admission applies. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ claremont-landscape-garden

Walking with the Snowman™ at Winkworth Arboretum

Find twelve decorated snowman sculptures along a wintry woodland trail and enjoy carousel rides, games and warming hot chocolate. Book ahead to make sure you don’t miss out. Normal admission plus small charge for carousel. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ winkworth-arboretum

Sat 26 Nov-Tue 3 Jan

Winter’s Tail at Chessington World of Adventures

Meet Father Christmas in his grotto and visit the Toy Workshop and receive a present. www.chessington.com

Tue 29 Nov

Bring Your Own Baby Comedy at Landmark Arts Centre

A funny, friendly afternoon of top comedy - and you can bring your baby. www.byobcomedy.com/ teddington

From Wed 30 Nov into January Family Curling with The Curling Club in Twickenham Exciting new alpine themed popup. Enjoy family sessions at this exciting new alpine-themed popup. A great winter sport for families to play together with delicious food, festive music and an après ski vibe. www.thecurlingclub.com

Every Sat & Sun in Dec until 18 Dec Christmas Festivities at London Museum of Water & Steam Join in festive activities to help spread a little festive joy. www.waterandsteam.org.uk

Daily from Thu 1-Fri 23 Dec Christmas at Hatchlands Park See the house dressed for the festive season and soak up the atmosphere of a traditional country house Christmas. Enjoy the magic of Christmas with the cobbled courtyard decorated for the season, and hand-crafted willow reindeer standing majestically on the lawn. Spot musical animals in the parkland and enjoy a Christmas treat in the café. Normal admission. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ hatchlands-park

Fri 2 Dec

Kew Sparkle

Christmas market with food, drink and craft stalls and entertainment. www.kewsparkle.org

Fri 2 Dec-Sat 3 Dec

Festive Fayre at Hampton Court Palace

The palace courtyards will be transformed into a food-lovers wonderland.

www.hrp.org.uk/hampton-courtpalace

Sat 3 Dec-Mon 2 Jan

Christmas at Polesden Lacey

Visit the sumptuous house, dressed at its Christmas best with glittering displays showing the 12 Days of Christmas. Take part in an active outdoor trail with challenges for all the family. Normal admission plus small charge for trail.

www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ polesden-lacey

Sat 3 Dec & Sat 7 Jan

15 Minutes of Fun at Chertsey Museum

Free drop-in craft session for all the family.

www.chertseymuseum.org

Sun 4 Dec

Carols on the Green at Claygate

Join in traditional community Christmas singing event. www.facebook.com/ claygatevillageassociation

Sun 4 & Sun 11 Dec

Santa Fun Run at Bushy Park

Gather for some festive fun whilst raising money for Princess Alice Hospice.

www.pah.org.uk/santafunrun2022

Wed 7 Dec-Mon 2 Jan

Palace of Light at Hampton Court Palace

Enjoy an enchanting festive lantern and light experience inspired by the Royal Beasts.

www.hrp.org.uk/hampton-courtpalace

Sat & Sun 10/11 Dec & Sun 18 Dec Santa at London Museum of Water & Steam

Follow snowy footprints to discover Santa and receive a present. £10 per child.

www.waterandsteam.org.uk

Sat & Sun 10/11 & 17/18 Dec

Santa Special Train Rides at Hampton Kempton Waterworks Railway

Take a ride on Santa’s sleigh railway and enjoy hot chocolate, mince pies, soft drinks and presents. £9. www.hamptonkemptonrailway. org.uk

Sun 11 Dec

Community Carols at Marble Hill Park

Join in with local groups the Richmond Brass Band and The Richmond Community Choir. www.english-heritage.org.uk

Sun 11 & 18 Dec

Storytime with Mark at London Museum of Water & Steam Songs, rhymes and stories for babies and under 5s. 1.30pm. www.waterandsteam.org.uk

Sat 17 & Sun 18 Dec

Carols by Candlelight at Landmark Arts Centre

Festive programme by Surrey Brass and The Imperial College Chamber. Early booking required. www.landmarkartscentre.org

DORKING HALLS www.dorkinghalls.co.uk

The Santa Show 9-11 Dec Full of song, dance, audience participation, real magic, elves and, of course, a visit from Santa.

Cinderella Pantomime 17- 28 Dec Great songs, dance routines and plenty of laughter for all the family.

THE ELECTRIC THEATRE, GUILDFORD www.electric.theatre

Let’s All Dance: The Nutcracker 18 Dec

Family favourite with high-quality ballet. Fun for all ages.

Santa Saves Christmas 24 Dec Family show suitable for ages 2-7, where every child will receive a gift.

ESHER THEATRE www.eshertheatre.com

Aladdin Pantomime 9-23 Dec Packed with songs, slapstick, silliness and audience participation for the whole family.

THE EXCHANGE, TWICKENHAM www.exchangetwickenham.co.uk

Hansel & Gretel 2-3 Dec New festive take on classic fairytale with puppets, innovative theatre and original music. Ages 3+.

A Christmas Carol 3 Dec Magical new adaptation of Dicken’s classic, with remarkable puppetry and original music. Ages 7+.

Dick Whittington 17-22Dec Interactive show full of fun, laughter, phonics, counting dance, song and puppetry. Ages 2+.

G LIVE, GUILDFORD www.glive.co.uk

Father Christmas Needs a Wee 17-24 Dec Live show packed full of songs, games and laughter.

GUILDFORD SPECTRUM www.guildfordspectrum.co.uk

Cinderella on Ice 9-11 Dec Lavish winter wonderland on ice, featuring performances from rising ice skating stars.

LYRIC THEATRE, HAMMERSHITH www.lyric.co.uk

There’s a Rang-Tan in My Bedroom 12 Nov Magical mix of puppetry and music as we discover more about our animal friends.

Raymond Briggs’ Father Christmas, 23 Nov-31 Dec

Join Santa on his busiest day of the year.

NEW WIMBLEDON THEATRE www.atgtickets.com/newwimbledon-theatre

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 3-31 Dec

Perfect pantomime treat for the whole family.

A Christmas Carol 5-10 Dec Unique adaptation presents two actors taking on every character in fast paced show. Ages 8+.

Santa’s North Pole Adventure 14-24 Dec

Celebrate the magic of Christmas and get a photo with Santa.

OSO THEATRE, BARNES www.osoarts.org.uk

Cinderella Pantomime 1-21 Dec

Prepare your cheers, boos and glass shoes for this fun panto for the whole family.

POLKA THEATRE, WIMBLEDON www.polkatheatre.com

Crackers: A Festive Family Farce 18 Nov-15 Jan

Join Polka for a family farce like no other. Ages 5-12.

Underwater 9-20 Nov

A dance theatre show for babies and their grown ups. Ages 0-2.

Grandad, Me and Teddy Too 2 Dec-29 Jan

A heart-warming show that celebrates the special place grandparents hold in young children’s lives.

RICMOND THEATRE www.atgtickets.com/richmondtheatre

Goldilocks & the Three Bears Christmas Pantomime 3-31 Dec Featuring international circus acts and all the comedy you’d expect from a traditional pantomime.

ROYAL ALBERT HALL www.royalalberthall.com

Storytime with Father Christmas 2-20 Dec

Charming storytime session featuring ‘Tiny Reindeer.’ Each child receives a gift. Ages 3+.

My Christmas Orchestral Adventure 11 Dec Embark on a magical journey through classical music with Albert’s Orchestra.

The Nutcracker 28-31 Dec It’s not Christmas without The Nutcracker! And in 2022, the Birmingham Royal Ballet’s festive favourite returns to the Royal Albert Hall. This enchanting production, featuring Tchaikovsky’s glorious score, is a sparkling festive treat for the whole family. Ages 5+.

RIVERHOUSE BARN, WALTON ON THAMES www.riverhousebarn.co.uk

Little Red Riding Hood 16-23 Dec Magical story comes alive with puppetry, songs and music. Ages 3-8.

THE ROSE THEATRE, KINGSTON www.rosetheatre.org

A Christmas Carol 2 Dec-2 Jan Heart-warming tale of generosity and forgiveness and experience the spirit of Christmas with the whole family. Ages 5+.

SOUTHBANK CENTRE ROYAL FESTIVAL HALL www.southbankcentre.co.uk

Hey Duggee: The Live Theatre Show 14 Dec-8 Jan

Join Duggee and the Squirrels in this vibrant interactive production bursting with music, puppets and barrels of laughs.

WATERMANS THEATRE, BRENTFORD www.watermans.org.uk

The Chronicles of Atom and Luna Sun 6 Nov

Epic tale for families is packed full of puppetry, music and lyrical text. Ages 7+.

David Gibb’s Family Jukebox Sun 13 Nov

Brilliant live music that everyone in the family will enjoy. Ages 3-8.

Environmental Magic Sun 20 Nov A show packed full of magic tricks specially created to surprise, amaze and involve the audience.

Ages 7-11.

Burglar Bill Sun 27 Nov Characters are brought to life with exciting set design, puppets, and original music and songs. Ages 3-7.

Christmas With The 3 Billy Goats Gruff 17-20 Dec Interactive family treat with Swedish carols, live music and beautiful puppets. Ages 3+.

YVONNE ARNAUD THEATRE, GUILDFORD www.yvonne-arnaud.co.uk

Jack and the Beanstalk Pantomime 3 Dec-8 Jan

Tantalising adventure with all the sparkles, songs and side-splitting silliness you could ask for.

Hey Duggee comes to Southbank!

Squirrels get ready! Everyone’s big lovable dog Hey Duggee is coming to the Southbank’s Royal Festival Hall (14 Dec to 8 Jan). Hey Duggee The Live Theatre Show will be huge and feature many of your favourite characters on stage for the first time!

Betty wants to make costumes, Happy wants to sing, Tag wants to make music, Norrie wants to dance, Roly wants jelly and you’re invited to join them for non-stop family fun in this brand new production. A-Woof!

Tickets from www.southbankcentre.co.uk