12 minute read
Education
Oh dear! I can’t help my child with this
By Jemma Zoe Smith
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As children settle back in at school for a new academic year, parents also settle back into the routine of being called upon by their children to help them with homework. But what if you have very limited time, you are not across the school’s expectations or you simply aren’t familiar with the topic?
This year I supported two students with exam preparation and covered over fifteen different subjects with them - only three of those subjects are my specialism. So here is what I have learnt about supporting children in subjects in which you are not confident yourself.
As a busy parent, you may only have a short amount of time in which to work with your child. Make sure that you both have clear expectations about what you will be able to achieve. If you only have twenty minutes, you may not be able to finish their homework together but you may be able to tackle a few key problems before they complete the rest themselves.
So that your time with them is productive, set goals and a timer. Goals help you prioritise and the timer prevents you from watching the clock. Your child will also have your undivided attention during this time.
At the end of each session, write down what you have covered in three bullet points. That way if your child gets another homework on the same topic, you can remember what you covered. These will also come in handy if you have a younger child or for end of year tests.
If the methods that your child uses are not familiar to you, don’t worry. YouTube, BBC Bitesize, Oak Academy and IXL are your
Play to your strengths
Be honest with your child. You don’t know it all and nor should you be expected to.
There may be some topics in which you feel you can very quickly assist your child without straining your own brain cells past the point of endurance. But if your child is struggling in multiple subjects, reach out to others. You may be able to ask other parent friends or your relatives for help.
Maybe one day the children can study science with you and the next they can cover maths with their friend’s mum.
As a tutor, I get many requests from parents to tutor their child, even when that parent is a teacher themselves. It can be hard for some children to study with their parents and you don’t want it to lead to any strain in your relationship.
If your child is needing more help than you can provide, speak to their school. There may be a club they can attend or some additional support that they can access in the lesson. friends. Simply type in your child’s year and the topic that they are studying (often found at the top of the worksheet) and the subject e.g. Year 4 - bus stop method, maths, into Google.
It can be useful to start a session by running through a video with your child. Depending on their age, you may want to run through the video first before looking over it with them. This also really helps you focus and ensures you have your head around the topic sufficiently to be able to help explain it further to your child or answer their questions.
If your child is struggling with something specific, reach out to the school and ask them if they can point you in the direction of some practice that you can do with your child. Remember you are all on the same team. Use parents evening to ask what topics are coming up and to find out when exams are. Forewarned is forearmed.
Jemma Zoe Smith is Director of The Education Hotel (www.educationhotel.co.uk).
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EDUCATION Understanding phonics
By Emma Lewry
Phonics is one of those things that feels like a secret club - some people understand it and to others it’s gobbledegook! If you have a child at school, they’re part of ‘the club’ and they may look at you in disbelief when you ask what a digraph or blending is.
For you and anyone who has a child due to start school, here are some tips to get you both closer to full admittance of the phonics club!
What is phonics?
Phonics is a way of teaching children to read and later write. It is based on the fact that letters and groups of letters make sounds and when we put those sounds together they make words.
English is a tricky language and sometimes the same letters make different sounds.
For example, ‘i’ can sound short as in ‘fish’ or have a longer sound like ‘eye’ in ‘find’.
There are different groups of letters that make sounds: a digraph is two letters that go together to make one sound e.g. ‘ch’ in chop.
A trigraph is three letters together making one sound e.g. ‘ear’ in ‘near’.
As children develop their knowledge, they build up and put together all of the sounds they recognise in order to read and write.
Read, read, read! Blending can be the key
If the thought of supporting your child with phonics fills you with dread, never fear! There is one simple thing you can do which will help them beyond your expectations: reading! Reading to and with your child is the single most impactful thing you can do to help their reading, writing and language skills to develop. By being read to, children hear new words, learn the flow of language and develop their understanding of grammar. Read as often as you can, whether it’s stories, poems, cookery books, magazines - anything you have or see! Allow your child to ask questions and talk about what they understand along the way. Think about reading as sharing a book with your child rather than them always sitting quietly and listening. By talking about the words and language and explaining meaning, children learn and understand more. As children develop in their phonics ability you will find they want to help you read and you can work together to read a text. Top Tips
• Practise recognising the sounds. • Help children to spot when two or three letters work together to make one sound e.g ‘ai’ in ‘rain’ and ‘igh’ in ‘light’. • Your child will be taught phonics in a specific way at school so ask them to teach you. It’s a great way for them to test their understanding. • Read, read, read! • Practise blending - this can be the key to unlock entry to
‘the club!’ • If you’re stuck or worried, ask your child’s school for help.
Supporting children learning to read can be as frustrating as it is magical.
I hope these tips help you joining the Phonics Club!
Emma Lewry is an Early Years teacher, headteacher and mother of two. Emma co-owns Every Day’s a School Day (www.edasd.co.uk) which guides families through starting school with courses, groups and a school starters planner.
Once children have learned the separate sounds, they then have to ‘blend’ them together to make the full word. For example, they hear or read ‘c’, ‘a’, ‘t’ and need to put the sounds together to make ‘cat.’ This skill can be a real stumbling block for children because they are working so hard to recognise the sounds that they can’t put them together easily. Oral blending is the skill to practise here. Oral blending means hearing separate sounds and putting them together without reading the letters too. It’s really helpful to practise lots of oral blending with your children from as young as the age of 2. For example, say separate sounds, a bit like a robot, and get your child to blend them together to make the word. You can do this in sentences e.g. put on your ‘c’, ‘oa’, ‘t’ or let’s go to the ‘p’, ‘ar’, ‘k’. Try I spy with whole words split up or hide some pictures for children to hunt for. The idea is you say the sounds of the object in the pictures separately and they blend them so they know what they are hunting!
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What to do if your child ‘hates’ school
By Lisa Wander and Catherine Loble
School can be a source of support and community as much as learning. It provides new experiences, exposure to different opinions, a sense of achievement, peer friendships and relationships with trusted adults. However, it can also be a lot to cope with, particularly when starting a new academic year. Children usually settle in. But what do you do if this doesn’t happen and if your child says they ‘hate’ school?
It’s important to recognise the problem and provide the right support. School ‘hatred’ can arise for various reasons:
Anxiety. This most frequently occurs during times of family stress such as a change in the family situation or when a child is about to enter a new school or phase. It can manifest as separation anxiety.
Trouble learning. For some children, the jump to higher academic levels and the sheer volume of information they need to digest can be overwhelming.
Loneliness. Making new friends can be difficult and children often fall out for no obvious reason. This can have a direct effect on self-esteem and turn into a dislike of school. Children who always feel alone will often feign illness to avoid school and school-related activities.
Bullying. If your child seems quiet and anxious, has few school friends or suddenly shows a drop in self-esteem, bullying may be a factor. Ask your child’s school to keep an eye out. If bullying is happening, the school will need to put strategies in place to support your child. Poor chemistry with a teacher. Your child may complain that a particular teacher is ‘unfair’ or ‘mean.’ Remember, children know how to play a parent against a teacher. While acknowledging your child’s feelings, don’t automatically assume you’re getting the whole picture. Talk with the school to find out what’s really going on.
Rather than dismissing children’s worries, let them know they are heard. If they are struggling with a certain class, help them find ways to overcome their struggles.
If they have fallen out with their friends, listen to them and talk about what they are going through. Helping them to find their own solutions will build resilience and restore positive feelings about school.
Lisa and Catherine are co-founders of Emparenting (www.emparenting.co.uk), supporting children, parents and families with insights, skills and tools to nurture the development and well-being of the next generation.
How you can help
Ask your child what’s worrying them and actively listen to their responses, withholding judgement and advice and validating their feelings. Problem solve together by discussing coping strategies, ideally led by them. Set a daily routine. It can help children regulate their emotions and alleviate concerns about the unknown. It can also help children feel more control over their environment. Create a ‘worry box’ or journal with your child. Sometimes the problem will feel less extreme in black and white. Reach out to the school – it may suggest counselling to support your child. Be mindful of your own reactions and emotions. Staying calm and positive conveys the message that you are there for your child all the way. Highlight the positives. It is important not to dismiss your child’s worries; but it is equally important that children recognise the good and fun bits of their day and don’t just fixate on the negatives.
Seeking other help
School life can create many situations that make children feel unnerved. Some degree of anxiety is normal in new or unfamiliar situations and for most it’s an essential part of a child’s emotional development. For some children, however, anxiety impacts their everyday behaviour and thoughts, interfering with their school, home and social lives.
According to NHS UK, concerning signs to look out for can include:
Difficulty concentrating; Interrupted sleep and bad dreams; Constant worrying and negative thoughts; Constant complaining of stomach aches or general malaise; Quickly becoming angry and irritable; Crying often for no apparent reason.
If you have tried self-help strategies such as mindfulness, calming apps and breathing techniques and they appear not to be helping, it’s a good idea to seek professional support. Your GP, child’s form teacher or head of year should be able to point you in the right direction.
