Have Your Say! & Soothing Nightmares and Night Terrors

Have your say!

We’d love to hear from readers! Some of the things that other readers might like to hear about include • Recommendations of local things to do • Comments on the magazine • Advice for parents • Funny stories about your family Contact Families Thames Valley West via e-mail – editor@familiestvw.co.uk - and your comments may be featured in the next issue!

“I think getting kids to road test various activities and give a review [in the magazine] would give some insight for parents.”

Lorraine Birks “My three-year-old commented the other day that her yoghurt looked like paint. When I left the room and returned a moment later she had painted one of her hands with it!”

Tired mum

Thames Valley West

“For years my son and I used to borrow a stack of books from the library and then take them a few doors down to a cafe, where I would read them to him while he ate jelly beans and I drank tea; we were both very chilled out!”

L, Reading

“My favourite part of the magazine is the What’s On guide – I save the magazine and refer to it for ideas of things to do with the children.”

Families reader, Berkshire

Soothing nightmares and night terrors

Nightmares can be very upsetting for children but they are distinct from night terrors, which can be very alarming for their parents!

What are nightmares? Nightmares typically start between the ages of 3 and 6 years. They happen during deep sleep, usually in the early hours. Unlike night terrors, children can remember nightmares (or feeling afraid) after waking. And night terrors? Night terrors are common and usually pass in time. Children who have night terrors may shout, thrash around or jump out of bed. They may have their eyes open, but may not actually be awake. Unlike nightmares, children don’t have to be in a deep sleep and, in fact, night terrors can happen soon after falling asleep. Your child may not remember night terrors in the morning. If your child has experienced a nightmare: Show and tell them that you understand how scared or upset they feel. Tell a soothing bedtime story or sing some favourite songs or rhymes together. Encourage your child to cuddle a favourite soft toy. Ask your child if they would like a gentle massage. Try stroking down your child’s arm from shoulder to hand, stroking their face or making circles on their back. Ask them about the best part of their day or something that made them laugh. Try mindfulness activities to soothe your child. If your child is having a night terror: Stay calm – you may have woken abruptly and feel alarmed. Only intervene if your child is at risk of injury - if they are running wildly or close to an area where they could hurt themselves. Talk calmly and block access to dangerous areas. Holding or restraining them may be difficult and lead to wilder behaviour. As long as your child’s safe, don’t try to wake, comfort or talk to them. They may not recognise you and could become more distressed. Wait for your child to calm by themselves. Then wake them and settle them back to sleep. Don’t mention the episode, as they won’t remember it. Most children grow out of night terrors and they don’t cause any long-term harm. Worried by their frequency and intensity? It’s a good idea to get medical advice, find out more at www.nhs.uk/conditions/night-terrors or speak to parenting coaches on the free helpline at www.parenting.actionforchildren.org.uk With thanks to Action for Children for this article. You can find many other useful articles on parenting at their Parent Talk site at www.parents.actionforchildren.org.uk

Preventing night terrors

Establish a good bedtime routine, as follows:

Make sure their bedroom is a safe, relaxing space free of clutter. A blackout blind can be helpful to keep out day light. Some children may find a night light soothing. Limit screen use. Turn screens off an hour before bed and keep screens out of the bedroom at night altogether. Help them wind down. Preparing your child for bed can include having a bath, which should help them start to feel sleepy. Younger children may enjoy lullabies, being read/told a story or even some colouring-in. Older children may want to read or listen to relaxing music. Chat together. Encourage your child to get any worries off their chest. If night terrors tend to happen at the same time each night, try waking your child fifteen minutes before. Doing this for seven days may be enough to stop the terrors without affecting sleep quality. Talk to your child when they are calm about anything that might be worrying them. This can help you spot any triggers.