WWW.familyandlife.sg SINGAPORE issue 2 OCTOBER 2013
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Published by cogent media
MCI (P) 114/08/2013
6 homeschooled kids 1 happy family Surprise! Higher IQ kids lie more Does your home have good Feng Shui?
‘‘I never wanted kids.” Why JIM ROGERS changed his mind Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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Contents
SNIPPETS
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Choice Products, Interesting News and More!
COVERSTORY
10 Investor, Adventurer, Father
An interview with legendary investor Jim Rogers
FOCUS
12 A Prodigy’s Risk Pays Off
Meet prodigious violinist Helena Dawn Yah
Delve into the world of homeschooling
14 Our Home Is A Better School 16 No Parent Should Go
Through This
A parent’s worst nightmare becomes reality
18 She Survived...So Can You
Theresa Tan fought breast cancer and won
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Choose To Live
all of which lead you down ife is really just a series of choices, rent destinies. For example, our different paths and ultimately, diffe dary investor Jim Rogers, chose Cover Personality this month, the legen age and is now experiencing a to have children despite his advanced him one morning and discovered second lease of life. We sat down with in public (page 10). a whole new side to him rarely seen
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not pressure their daughter to violinist Helena Dawn Yah chose to Similarly, the parents of prodigious ute that produced Andrew she is studying in the same music instit pursue the violin at all costs. Now, sing to homeschool their chose the route less travelled, choo Lloyd Webber (page 12). The Ongs also (page 14). kids instead of going “the MOE way” lives of our children as will impact not only our lives but the As parents, all of us make choices that time expectant father this month, Desmond Foo. He’s a firstwell, such as our parent contributor has to decide whether he from his strong family network, and working overseas in China, separated his hilarious account of e for the birth or stay in China. Read and his wife should return to Singapor in the Middle Kingdom s field of medicine and gynaecologists what it’s like to traverse the precariou (page 38). development also continues in concerning your child’s health and Our extensive coverage of matters ver that white lies are rs in their respective fields. We disco this issue as we speak to different docto we tackle the issue most ’s brain development (page 20) and surprisingly an indication of your child the dentist (page 26). is the best time for your child to visit parents have trouble biting into — when d on your encouragement made some tweaks to our layout base As you may have noticed, we’ve also magazine. Just drop even more of your thoughts about the and feedback, and we hope to receive book at fb.com/ Face our on ts men life.sg or leave your com us an e-mail at editorial@familyand familyandlifemag. wake up every day with a platter of Enjoy this issue and remember, we in choosing your family and your life.
choices in front of us. Join us
Happy Reading!
Managing Editor Gerald Woon
12 NURTURE
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20 My Child Lies, Is That A Problem? Lying as a sign of brain
familyandlife.sg
All work and no play is harmful
Managing Editor EDITORIAL
To read or not to read, to your child
CREATIVE
development
22 Let Children Play
24 Give Them Word Power
SALES & MARKETING
HEALTH
26 Fear No More: Your Kid’s
Handling that scary dentist
1st Dental Visit
Two common knee injuries
The lowdown on atopic dermatitis
Gerald Woon gerald@cogentmedia.sg Writer | Farhan Shah farhan@cogentmedia.sg Designer | Zach zach@cogentmedia.sg Senior Marketing Executive| Emily Choo emily@cogentmedia.sg Marketing Executive | Lim Jun Ming junming@cogentmedia.sg
28 Ouch! My Knee!
CONTRIBUTORS
30 Crawling In My Skin
ADMINISTRATION & FINANCE
RELAX
CONTACT US Editorial Enquiries editorial@familyandlife.sg Advertising Enquiries Tel: +65 6704 9279 Email: sales@cogentmedia.sg
32 Feng Shui 101
Preparing your home for fortune
Desmond Foo Dr Lim Swee Teck Dr Sean Leo Ken Koh Manager | Jessica Ong jessica@cogentmedia.sg
MCI (P) 114/08/2013
BITES
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34 The Family Tortilla
Chicken Wrap
A family-friendly recipe
EVENTS
36 What’s Happening!
A list of family events this month
OP-ED
38 My 2 Cents On...
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Being a first-time father, overseas
Colour Separation & Printed by Times Printers Private Limited 16 Tuas Avenue 5, Singapore 639340 Tel: +65 6311 2888 Fax: +65 6311 2801 Licence No. L021/09/2012 Distributed by MediaWheel Singapore 31 Toh Guan Road East #07-01 LW Technocentre, Singapore 608608 Tel: +65 6560 5272 Fax: +65 6560 4090 All materials printed within Family & Life are Copyright 2013 © and protected under the Copyright Act. All rights reserved 2013.
Family & Life is published monthly by Cogent Media Pte. Ltd. 100 Beach Road #32-01 Shaw Tower, Singapore 189702 Tel: +65 6704 9266 Fax: +65 6396 3045 Registration No: 201231255H No material of this publication can be reproduced in any form or means – graphic, electronic, mechanic, photocopying, recording, videotaping, etc. – whether in part or in whole, without the written consent of the Publisher. Family & Life will not be held responsible for any infringements of Copyright material in articles submitted by contributors. While every reasonable care has been taken in the compilation of information contained in this publication, the Publisher, editors or their employees and agents shall not be liable for any errors, inaccuracies, and/or omissions howsoever caused. All views expressed in all articles are solely those of the authors, and are not necessarily those of the Publisher and editor. Family & Life reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or advertorial for any reason and are not liable for claims made by advertisers. The information provided in this publication is solely for reference only. Readers are advised to seek the professional advice from the appropriate advisors, professional or institution for advice and instruction with regard to their personal health issues.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
To celebrate the inaugural issue of Family & Life, our team headed to Orchard and Novena to give out balloons and free copies of the magazines to smiling families with kids in tow. And we had a ball of a time! Check out the adorable photos!
REGISTER AND WIN! We’re giving away 2 copies of A Gift To My Children, written by our Cover Personality Jim Rogers, and 2 copies of A Clean Breast, written by the brave Theresa Tan, to four lucky Family & Life readers! All you have to do is to fire up your Internet browser and head on over to familyandlife.sg/register to join in the fun! Register an account with us and you could be walking away with one of the four autographed copies. It’s that simple! So, what are you waiting for? Register and win!
A Gift to My Children “When I was a boy, my father often pulled me aside to convey lessons intended to build what we generally refer to as ‘character’. Often his advice was simple – work hard, think for yourself, do right by others – but I believe those lessons provided the foundation for everything that has followed in my life. I hope that parents will be inspired to give this book to their children, and vice versa, as many of the lesson that I have learned apply not just to young people but to all adults!”
A Clean Breast The morning she woke up with a pain in her right breast, Theresa Tan knew her life would never be the same again. In this deeply personal book, Theresa shares her horrific discovery of breast cancer and the painful loss of her breast to the disease. Journey with her as she emerges through the darkest period of her life to be stronger and fitter than ever, filled with a purpose to help and encourage other women experiencing cancer.
WIN AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF A CLEAN BREAST AND A GIFT TO MY CHILDREN! FAMILYANDLIFE.SG/REGISTER Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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SNIPPETS A laundry list of choice Start Your Child’s Day Right products, interesting news Numerous studies have shown that kids who eat tend to do better at school. But, it can be quite and cool developments, breakfast a hassle to prepare a meal that is not only nutritious handpicked by the Family but tasty at the same time while you too are getting & Life team that will ready for work. Well, fret no longer with Nutrifuel interest parents and Tropical Fruit Rhapsody Wheat Cereal, a breakfast families! cereal filled to the brim with whole grains. We’re as sceptical as you when it comes to whole grains because our experience with them normally leave us reaching out for something sweet and tasty, what more our kids. We’re glad to say the Nutrifuel Tropical Fruit Rhapsody Wheat Cereal is both healthy and delicious, thanks to the large amounts of fruits (raisins, papaya, banana and pineapple) in each serving. You might even pour one bowl just for yourself every morning with your kid. We say: reach out for one during your next trip to the supermarket.
Nutrifuel Tropical Fruit Rhapsody Wheat Cereal is available at FairPrice Finest and selected Jason’s MarketPlace & Cold Storage outlets. A box of 400g whole-grain deliciousness goes for S$13.40.
Get Submerged
Running around Singapore with your kids in tow can take quite a toll on your skin, especially in the country’s increasingly humid weather. So, when we got a bottle of Submerge Me from the people at b.liv by cellnique, we were ecstatic. Featuring an improved formulation, Submerge Me provides instant relief to parched skin, brightens dull complexions and calms skin irritations. More importantly, it also suppresses the signs of premature ageing brought about by the sun. We like how Submerge Me is absorbed quickly by the skin and feels very lightweight. It leaves a velvety smooth finish, unlike other moisturisers that tend to make our skin sticky after application, and our faces felt cool despite the afternoon heat.
Submerge Me is available at b.liv’s online store at bliv.com and SaSa outlets. For the month of October, purchase the Fabulous Four pack, featuring Submerge Me and three other products at S$79.95 (U.P. S$132.43).
An A1 for the Z1 Whether you’re lounging by the pool with your family or cooking up a storm in the kitchen, you can safely place the newly launched Sony Xperia Z1 smartphone close to you. Waterproof and dust resistant, the latest iteration in Sony’s premium Z series of products brings Sony’s proven world-class technologies to one device. Besides the waterproof and dust-resistant features, we love the top-of-the-line camera “G Lens” built into the Z1, which help to immortalise those amazing family moments with a quick snap. In fact, the Z1 purportedly has the world’s highest resolution camera available on an Android smartphone. How high? Think a large 1 / 2.3” 20.7MP Exmor RS™ mobile image sensor.
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Give your family quality water Your family can now enjoy quality, filtrated water at home with the NOVITA HydroPlus® Water Pitcher NP 2290. Designed for ultimate convenience, this made-inItaly pitcher is incredibly easy to use. There’s no need to remove the lid cover of the pitcher. Just simply turn on your tap, and together with the pressure of inflowing tap water and gravitational help, the water is filtered in just five minutes! The pitcher’s 3-step filtration process provides you with HydroPlus® Alkaline Antioxidant Water, which helps to alkalise your body, slow down oxidation, hydrate better and more. We love the beautiful palette of colours and think that the HydroPlus® Water Pitcher NP 2290 will make an exciting addition to your home.
The HydroPlus® Water Pitcher NP 2290 is available at NOVITA eStore, Best Denki, Tangs, Courts, Harvey Norman, Isetan, Robinsons, OG, Takashimaya, Challenger, Audio House, Mega Discount Store and Parisilk for S$79.
Underneath the hood, this beast of a smartphone boasts a fully integrated Qualcomm Snapdragon 800 processor with 2.2 GHz quad-core CPU and 4G LTE.
The Sony Xperia Z1 smartphone is available in Sony stores, Sony centres, Xperia concept stores, authorised retail outlets and all telco operators from 4 October onwards. The recommended retail price is S$998 without contract.
FL 10 13 Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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SNIPPETS Ocean Health Wants To Save 1000 Lives Register for a free blood cholesterol test this October at all Guardian pharmacies with pharmacist counters! Ocean Health, one of the leaders in health supplements, wants to encourage Singaporeans to get the health of their hearts checked. The blood test, sponsored by Ocean Health in partnership with Guardian, will help you measure the amount of good cholesterol and bad cholesterol as well as the level of triglycerides in your body. Knowing these numbers will enable you to better understand your risk of heart disease.
All you have to do is to: 1. Visit any Guardian pharmacy counter for an initial assessment 2. Book your test once the pharmacist deems you eligible 3. Go for the test and collect your results two weeks after the test There are only 1,000 free screenings available, so make your way down to a Guardian pharmacy as soon as you can!
Saving 1000 Lives 2013 is a healthy heart awareness campaign organised and sponsored by Ocean Health in partnership with Guardian. Registration period is between 10 October and 31 October 2013, and the blood test period is between 21 October and 5 November 2013. For more information, call 6288 6810, email marketing@oceanhealth.com or visit saving1000lives.com.
Build Your Kid’s Mandarin Let your child learn Mandarin with the award-winning Chinese Starter Kit from MandarinaKids. This 3-step learning kit, which helps parents to build a bilingual environment for their children, was recently crowned one of the winners in Dr Toy’s 100 Best Children’s Products for 2013 under the “10 Best Educational Products” category.
Indulge In Spuds!
Come hungry and leave happy! That’s Spuds & Aprons’s promise to you and your family when you swing by, literally! Located at the top of Mount Faber, Spuds & Aprons is a new restaurant opening in October 2013 that promises an indecent repertoire of comfort food for the young and old and an alluring view to match. We love the piping hot potato fries that have been lashed with thick gravy and six types of cheese, which will definitely satisfy your tummy. We’re sure your kids will also love the Jar of Happiness, made from shortbread biscuits, mixed berries, ice-cream and warm berry compote. We licked the jar clean! Head on over and indulge in spuds and more before they become the next hot spot to be at in town!
Spuds & Aprons is at 109 Mount Faber. Make your reservations by giving them a call at 6377 9688.
The MandarinaKids Chinese Starter Kit has been carefully designed to reinforce words and helps a child build confidence through word recognition, sentence structure and eventual reasoning through multi-layering of sensorial arrangements. To make learning more fun and engaging for the child, the kit comes with a picture book titled Grandma’s 80th Birthday together with an audio CD to engage the child, while also helping him or her to absorb key words through fun storytelling. A DVD on general words and a set of peek-a-boo cards are also included to complete the learning experience.
The MandarinaKids Chinese Starter Kit is available for purchase online at mandarinakids.com/ mandarinakids-dvds/Chinese-starter-kit for S$45.
Minding The Gaps
Written to help parents whose children have been diagnosed with a learning disorder, Minding the Gaps offers useful information, practical recommendations and approaches that parents may find helpful in supporting their children. The book also hopes to inspire and empower parents to play a more active and creative role in supporting their children with learning disorders. We love this book because it provides multiple perspectives from a multi-disciplinary team comprising Dr Daniel Fung, the Chairman Medical Board at the Institute of Mental Health Singapore, Kheng Joo Lian, Principal Educational Psychologist and more. Here’s a short excerpt from the book: “The first step in minding the gap is to give the child assurance that he/she is accepted and loved in spite of his/her poor achievement at school. Picture the analogy of the gap when alighting from the subway train onto the platform. With little children, we hold their hand and guide them across the gap. With older children, they learn to be aware that the gap exists but in no way does the gap hinder them from crossing onto the platform.”
Minding the Gaps retails at S$19.26 (with GST) at most major bookstores.
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COVERSTORY
Investor Adventurer, Father By Farhan Shah
Jim Rogers went around the world twice, made millions and retired at the age of 37. Now, he is in the biggest and wildest adventure of his life – fatherhood.
There is a peculiar cycling contraption on the driveway, at the foot of the stairs leading up to the door of James Beeland Rogers, Jr.’s house. It looks like an adult tricycle, with its three wheels, two pedals and a pair of handlebars, but the large wooden basket nailed onto the front, big enough to fit two young children, is an intriguing accessory.
“That’s where my two daughters sit when I cycle them to school and back,” James Rogers, more widely known as Jim Rogers, says, confirming my suspicions. Rogers covers about eight kilometres in total, picking up his youngest daughter at around 11 in the morning from Nanyang Kindergarten and cycling home before repeating the process at 1.30 pm, when the hot sun is beating down mercilessly
on his shoulders, to fetch his eldest daughter from Nanyang Primary School.
It is no mean feat, especially for someone who is turning 71 this month. This fatherly dedication and devotion to his daughters is incredibly admirable. So, it comes as a surprise when Rogers reveals that when he was younger, he never wanted to have children. “I was always against children. I thought children were a terrible waste of time, energy and money. I was never going to do anything so foolish as to have a child,” says Rogers, “I can tell you right now I was completely wrong about that.” To understand Rogers’s initial disdain for kids, it is important to go back to the past and discover the circumstances of his family life. The eldest of five children, Rogers grew up without much money but with a sharp nose for business that could spot opportunities where others did not. While other children his age were having fun at the playground, the then 5-yearold Rogers sold peanuts and picked up empty bottles left behind by baseball fans after a game to make money.
Rogers’s meteoric rise to the upper echelons of the financial world began in 1970 when he joined investment bank Arnhold and S. Bleichroder, where he would meet his future business partner, George Soros. In 1973, the both of them left the institution and set up the Quantum Fund together. Within a decade, the fund gained an astonishing 4200% while the Standard & Poor’s (S&P) 500 stock market index only managed to advance by 47%. But, this story is not about the considerable amount of wealth he has amassed nor is it about the two round-the-world trips he embarked on, once in 1980 on a motorcycle after his “retirement” and the second in 1999 with his partner (whom he would marry at the turn of the millennium) in a Mercedes that was customised specially for the arduous trip. Instead, it is about how this fearless adventurer transforms into a teddy bear around his children, wanting only the best for them while still preparing them for the rigours of life. And as I watch the family of four tease, joke and smile at each other during the photo shoot in the family home, I am struck by the unmistakeable warmth radiating from Rogers’s eyes as he looks upon his two sprightly children. Indeed, this transformation would not have been possible without the gentle encouragement of one woman – his wife, Paige Parker. “We had just returned from our trip around the world [in 2002] and my wife said, ‘Well, let’s have a child.’ I gave it some thought and to be honest, I was hesitant,” Rogers shares quietly.
“My Mum had me when she was 23 and another four sons within a span of six years. The poor woman had no idea what she had gotten herself into,” Rogers reflects, his eyes glazing momentarily at the memory.
Yet, the idea of having children had been planted in his mind and began to germinate until he started thinking, “Why not? Let’s give it a try.” Age was also something Rogers took into consideration. He would be 60 if everything went according to plan, not exactly the period of life a man should be having his first child while his wife would be 34.
Despite his difficult background, Rogers worked hard, graduating with a History degree from Yale University in 1964. Like all young, ambitious men at that time, Rogers headed to Wall Street to make a name for himself and managed to score a position with Dominick & Dominick, a renowned financial services institution and one of the oldest in America.
Rogers and Paige gave it the old college try and fortunately, everything did go according to plan as a year later, out popped little Happy, an apt name due to the immense amount of joy Rogers and Paige experienced as they watched Happy grow. Happy had a sister to play with five years later with the addition of Baby Bee into the family.
I was always against children. I thought children were a terrible waste of time, energy and money. I was never going to do anything so foolish as to have a child. 10
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And now, some five years later, their postcard-perfect family home, located on the outskirts of the Botanic Gardens, is littered with colourful animal floats sitting languidly in the sun beside the small playhouse while just a few feet away, behind the transparent glass of the pool house, multiple stacks of Rogers’s latest book Street Smarts: Adventures on the Road and in the Markets stand toweringly among an eclectic collection of curios and souvenirs, garnered from their travels. Paige and Rogers tries as much as possible to give their two daughters a normal life free from the trappings of wealth, learning how to cycle at the wide expanse of the void decks of Farrer Road and heading for meals at the local restaurants. Happy and Bee particularly enjoy eating the pizza served piping hot at a nearby restaurant; their father not so much. However, as the two girls grew older, they began receiving remarks from their schoolmates that their father was a rich and important person, Happy’s friends in particular. “No matter how many times I tell my daughters that we are not rich, it is starting to sound hollow. After all, they are starting to realise that they live in a house that is different from their peers, they have two cars and a driver, and they rarely take the bus,” Rogers says. The investor admits he is stumped at what else he can do to teach his children about the value of money – that it is difficult to earn and easy to squander. He even toyed with the idea of moving into an HDB flat but it was not possible. In fact, Rogers seemed almost apologetic about the wealth that he has worked so hard to gather, as though his multi-million net worth that many others crave is a heavy burden instead of a boon.
In the meantime, he makes his daughters do a couple of household chores around the home, even though they have two full-time helpers, and heavily restricts their shopping. Fortunately, both Rogers and Paige are on the same page when it comes to the topic of rearing their children. They want to groom young ladies who are self-disciplined, polite and passionate about what they do. And Rogers, a huge admirer of Singapore’s education system, believes that he has given his children the best tools to succeed in today’s global economy – the dual knowledge of English and Mandarin. Rogers is not far from the truth. China has emerged as the world’s secondlargest economy, second only to the financial juggernaut that is America, and is not showing signs of slowing down. That was the main reason why Rogers relocated to Singapore in 2007, to be at the hub of Asia’s burgeoning growth and to get his daughters to learn Mandarin in a safe environment. “We have a full-time governess who comes in five days a week and interacts in Mandarin with them, whether it is about riding a bicycle or any other aspect of their lives. Of course, she helps them with their Chinese homework but a lot of the time, it is about having a constant Mandarin presence in the house,” explains Rogers. Already, this investment is starting to bear fruit. Happy recently emerged tops in a nationwide Mandarin speaking competition, finishing as the top speaker of her age among some 800-odd Chinese students. It must have been quite a peculiar sight to see a sole flaxen-haired young girl with nary any hints of Chinese features walk up on stage to receive her prize, being applauded by her astonished Chinese compatriots. Rogers and Paige too were as surprised as all of them and understandably incredibly elated at her achievement.
The image of Happy grinning away on the stage has been permanently catalogued into Rogers’s ever expanding mental dossier of memorable moments. The man who has seen almost everything that the world can offer is experiencing a new lease of life, watching his two daughters grow up. “Even their vaccinations are memorable!” Rogers jokes. One aspect of Singapore and her education system that Rogers is not fond of though is the suffocating tuition culture. “Everybody [here] is stuffed with tuition! I would rather that not do any but unfortunately, the one thing that we learned about Singapore’s school system is her rather corroded testing methods,” says Rogers. According to the renowned author, unfortunately, students have to answer the set questions according to what he terms “the MOE (Ministry of Education Singapore) way”, which he feels is a rather narrow route to take. “You and I could give a perfectly legitimate answer. But if you do not answer it the MOE way, it is wrong!” Rogers emphatically expounds. So, Rogers and Paige reluctantly gave in, enrolling their eldest daughter in tuition classes to make sure she understands how to answer questions “the MOE way”. But, Rogers has never been one to tread a well-worn path, preferring instead to make his own way in life. And the 71-year-old, who does not look a day above 50 thanks to his regular morning exercise regime, has a wealth of experience when it comes to marriage, having walked down the altar twice before. The third time’s the charm though and Rogers and Paige have been married happily for 13 years. When I asked Rogers what was it about Paige that
made him realise that she was the one, he gave a chuckle. “Whatever it was, it must have been right because here we are and still married,” he shares. After all, with his less than stellar track record in marriage, he could be forgiven for feeling a sense of trepidation while listening to the Wedding March and looking at the resplendent Paige walking down towards him. This marriage, however, was different. “If you spend three years driving around the world every day side by side without ever being apart, you can survive anything. I know of couples who could never drive to Kuala Lumpur without getting a divorce, and here we were, finishing our trip around the world,” Rogers says. Another hallmark of a strong and successful marriage is compromise, and Rogers has happily given in to his wife when it comes to holidays. The man is rather ambivalent about birthdays and anniversaries but Paige is quite a keen holiday person, especially Christmas, so Rogers follows along, setting up the Christmas trees and pinning Christmas memorabilia on the walls. Unfortunately though, he doesn’t wear the red Santa Claus suit. Quite a pity because he would have made the perfect Father Christmas with his head of snow-white hair and jovial nature. And as he cycles around in his compound with his two daughters, he has an incredibly wide smile on his face. The tough-as-nails investor who thrived in the cutthroat world of Wall Street, survived bone-chilling winters in Iceland and influenced global markets with just a few trades is in the middle of the biggest adventure of his life. And he is having a ball of a time.
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FOCus
A Prodigy’s risk Pays off By Farhan Shah
© Suran Photography
The key to success is by not forcing the children to pursue any interest, as this will possibly take away the joy of learning.
Prodigious talents will amount to nothing without hard work. Helena Dawn Yah can attest to that.
Her long flowing locks and demure demeanour hides a fiery passion and immense talent for one of the hardest instruments to play in the world – the violin. Helena Dawn Yah first hit the headlines in 2009 when she was merely 14. She flew to London on her own to audition for a place in the Yehudi Menuhin School, a worldrenowned music institute. It was quite a gamble as all the places for the school had already been filled. However, her flawless rendition of Autumn from Vivaldi’s Four Seasons and Mazurka in G Major, Op. 26 impressed the board of selectors to such an extent that they lobbied for additional funding so that they could grant her a place in the school. Unfortunately, the appeal failed. As fate would have it, a student dropped out. Helena was finally in the school. It was the culmination of 12 years of hard work and sweat for the prodigious Helena, who first picked up the violin at the age of two. When she put the bow to the strings, her aunt and music teacher at that time, Yah Wen Har, realised that Helena had a good sense of rhythm and musicality despite her tender age. You could say it runs in the family. Helena’s late grandmother was a music teacher who
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had composed many songs in the 1970s. Helena’s father, Yah Chin Keong, also played the violin when he was younger. In fact, it was Chin Keong’s prior experience with the violin that shaped his and his wife’s future attitude. “I had, you could say, ‘too much encouragement’ from my Mum,” Chin Keong says, laughing. He grew to hate the violin and stopped learning it. “When I became a parent, I told myself I would never force my child to learn music.” So, when the Yahs discovered their daughter’s aptitude for the violin, they decided to take it slow and easy, letting her enjoy and appreciate the music. The both of them even gave Helena the freedom to stop playing the violin if she ever got tired of it. Of course, Helena never did put down that fiddle and is now studying at the prestigious Royal College of Music (RCM) in South Kensington, London, where the inimitable composer Andrew Lloyd Webber studied at. Helena’s deep interest for music at such a young age, guided by the able hand of a good music teacher and truly supportive parents, meant that she avoided the large pit that some of her prodigious musical compatriots fell into — burning out before they can fully realise their talents. Chin Keong extols, “I believe that it is important for a child to actually enjoy what he or she is doing, in order to be able to learn more and do well. As a parent, I feel that it is imperative to first find out what your child’s talent and interests are before deciding which area to develop.” This level-headed attitude that the Yahs adopted has paid off
handsomely, allowing Helena to progress at her own pace and letting her burgeoning talent blossom. Indeed, Chin Keong advocates giving precocious children, and kids in general, the space and time to discover what they truly enjoy, with the occasional words of encouragement. “The key to success is by not forcing the children to pursue any interest, as this will possibly take away the joy of learning. Instead, if your child is good at something and you have the means, just give them the space to do it. If the child has the aptitude for that particular interest, he or she will naturally fall in love with it and even excel,” Chin Keong says enthusiastically. When Helena is not excelling on the violin, she leads a normal life like other teenagers, gushing over the latest K-pop stars and starlets and, as her father says with a wry smile, listening to loud Western or Chinese pop music. “My wife and I grew up in the era of ABBA and The Carpenters, so we occasionally playfully rebuke her music choices and ask, ‘What kind of music is that!!’” Chin Keong says with a laugh. Helena will be graduating from RCM in 2017 and hopes to return to Singapore to be a full-time classical musician while helping to contribute and build the local music scene at the same time. According to Chin Keong, she is truly appreciative that Singapore was the first to discover her talent and she hopes to give back to the society in whatever ways she can. When that time comes, you can be sure the country, and her patriotic parents, will be welcoming her with open arms. After all, their prodigy daughter has finally returned home.
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FOCus
Our
Home
The Ongs have six children, none of whom have ever attended a day of traditional classroom lessons. Instead, they study at home.
is a better
Asher Ong cooks a mean plate of roasted chicken and potatoes. And when he’s not whipping up a storm in the kitchen, the culinary lover, who’s only 13 years old, heads out on his bicycle to explore the neighbourhood. Asher sounds like your typical 13-year-old, just with one major difference.
School
exceed a set benchmark to continue with home-schooling.
school holiday or a field trip day!” Suwei says with a smile.
Suwei is unruffled by this condition. “We do download school tests and exams so that our kids can have an idea of what to expect when they turn 12. But, there is no consequence no matter how they fair for these tests. It is simply the child performing to his or her best ability,” explains Suwei.
Furthermore, each day is different; there is minimal repeated drilling underneath Suwei’s vibrant roof, save for those dastardly multiplication tables and Chinese words.
He does not go to school.
Ultimately, Suwei wants to incorporate the love for learning in all her children without the stress of having to do exceptionally well for tests and examinations – a refreshing attitude in tuition-mad Singapore. “A question we like to ask is: are we teaching our children to score well in tests or are we teaching our The former teacher made this momentous decision together with children to be passionate learners? her then-fiancé before they walked By and large, I believe our Asian education systems produce students down the aisle. “We wanted to who do well at tests but might not have the autonomy to decide how be interested in the subjects that our children would be educated and who their teachers would be,” they are scoring so well in tests for,” Suwei extols. Suwei shares. Instead, the teenager studies at home under the tutelage of his Mum, Mrs Ong Suwei. He’s not the only one. In fact, Suwei’s entire brood – six in total including Asher – is home-schooled.
Also, the flexible framework of a home-school education, as opposed to the rigid structure of most academic institutes, allows Suwei an incredible amount of freedom in deciding what works best for each of her children. After all, not every child is cut from the same mould.
The mother of six uses a rigorous curriculum from the Accelerated Christian Education programme, which contains English, Mathematics, Science, Literature and other relevant subjects, and teaches at a pace that suits the proficiency of each child.
Ongkids
Meet
The
Isaac, 10 “He has an incredible ability to mimic accents and always cracks us up with his wit and humour. He is also a very good roller blader.”
14
Magdalena, 4 “Our little spitfire! She is no pushover despite her size. Extremely chirpy and delightful, she loves helping out with the household chores.”
Family & Life • Oct 2013
Abigail, 11 “She’s a wonderful big sister and loves teaching the younger ones. Besides helping out in the kitchen, Abigail plays the violin and the piano.”
While most Singapore schools emphasise a lot on developing each student academically and neglecting the other aspects of a child’s development, Suwei and her husband take great pains to nurture all six of their children holistically, Isaiah, 8 focusing not just “He’s a very visual on mastering person, imagining and turning ordinary the books but household stuff into things that are nourishing them completely different. mentally, physically, All we have to do is supply him with lots emotionally and and lots of sticky tape! He is also very gentle spiritually.
As part of the requirements set out by the Ministry of Education Singapore, her home-schooled children will have to go through the Primary School Leaving Examination between the ages of 11 and 15, and has to meet or
Michaela, 1 “She’s the object of adoration in the family because she is so cute and squishy. There is always an extra pair of arms to carry her around but she loves clinging to Mama. She also enjoys sticking everything she finds on the floor into her mouth!”
Asher, 13 “He’s an avid self-learner, loves bicycles and is quite musically gifted. In the family choir, he plays the bass and can improvise very nice harmonies!”
By Farhan Shah
and caring.”
“[We] have the autonomy to add or drop any programme depending on our children’s individual needs, strengths and weaknesses, and the speed to be able to carry it out quickly. We can even turn family birthdays into a
“Our days are very dynamic and learning takes place throughout the day and night!” Suwei exclaims, “yes, they cover their reading, writing and arithmetic in a day, but school at home is really more than just that. We have many interesting conversations over meal times and we cover a great number of topics in a day.” By inculcating a love for learning, Suwei’s home-schooled brood are more than ready to remain relevant and tackle the rapidly-changing global challenges, in whatever field they choose to venture to. Concurrently, many home-schooled children do very well academically (“One of the factors is the small teacher-student ratio!” Suwei says) and many of them have gone on to esteemed universities such as Stanford, Yale and Harvard. Suwei highlights the prominent Tim Tebow, a former American quarterback with the New England Patriots, as an example of a homeschooled child who has become immensely successful in his chosen field. Of course, home-schooling does come with some minor inconveniences. For example, Suwei’s teenage children are not given student EZ-link cards, not only making travel rather expensive but affecting other activities that might require the use of a student concession. But, the group take obstacles like these in their stride. Suwei says, “Homeschoolers are an intrepid bunch. We have creative solutions to a lot of the obstacles we face.” None of the problems that Suwei and her husband face in their homeschooling journey have ever managed to faze them. If anything, it has only strengthened their resolve that this decision is the best they could make for their children. “We are pleased with the way our children are growing. They are balanced, happy and confident, and folks who know us and our children can attest to this! We make memories every day. Together,” Suwei smiles.
Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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FOCus
No Parent Should By Farhan Shah
Go Through This
No Mum should ever go through the mental trauma of seeing her precious infant undergo major surgery. Amita Dutt, lawyer and mother, did. This is her story.
Barely able to utter a word, yet having to go under the knife and fight for his life at an age when most infants are just learning to breathe properly, 17-year-old Nikhil Dutt has survived an arduous journey that most people would never have to walk through.
At a time when most parents would be fretting over diaper brands, baby food and the colour of the playroom’s walls, Amita and her husband had to watch helplessly as Nikhil, barely a month old, struggled and shrieked in pain as needles were inserted into his delicate skin.
It was 1996 when the Dutt family was all set to celebrate the landmark occasion of Nikhil’s birth, the first grandchild in the clan. So, when Amita started to feel the first contractions in her womb while she was hard at work, the family was immediately mobilised; a whirlwind of activity blended with the precision of a trained army brigade.
Yet, it had to be done.
“[The] pregnancy and childbirth were smooth and easy,” Amita reminisces. For the first 15 days after Nikhil took his primordial breaths, it seemed like the Dutts’ family album would be filled with happy snapshots of Nikhil blowing out the candles on his first birthday cake, taking his first few steps with his loving parents awaiting with outstretched arms, and more.
?
Hirschsprung Disease
Usually diagnosed in children, Hirschsprung Disease is an abdominal disorder that occurs when certain parts of the large intestine are absent of nerves, causing the body to be unable to pass stool. The disease is named after a Danish physician named Harald Hirschsprung, who spoke of two infants passing away as a result of this disorder during a lecture in 1886.
However, on the sixteenth day, everything collapsed like a house of cards. “Nikhil was put into intensive care after the doctors suspected that he might have Hirschsprung Disease, a condition that affects only 1 out of 5,000 babies and is usually seen more frequently in boys than girls,” says Amita.
On the seventeenth day, the doctors’ fears were confirmed. Nikhil was the unfortunate one out of five thousand infants.
People focus on the sick child, but the child looks to the parent for everything. Who, then, looks after the parent? Parents need help, compassion and love too. 16
Family & Life • Oct 2013
Nikhil was too young and frail to go through the major surgery required to rectify his condition, so the doctors did a colostomy as a temporary measure until Nikhil became strong enough to undergo the operation. After the colostomy bag was safely in place, allowing Nikhil to be able to pass his stool out, he was warded for a week to ensure that there were no further complications before he was allowed to return home. Amita and her husband’s world turned upside down; their schedules and lives revolved around Nikhil’s condition. “We had no control over Nikhil’s condition and related matters. For example, when his colostomy bag leaked, we would drop everything that we were doing and rush home to have it redone. Nikhil would catch every bug that was spreading, and was continually fretful and nervous. The slightest thing would distract him and he would wake up screaming,” says Amita. When Nikhil turned three months old, he was finally strong enough to go through the major operation. Amita and her husband watched with tears in their eyes and hope in their hearts, as their bundle of joy was wheeled into the operating theatre, where the doctors and nurses in operating gowns were preparing to remove the affected section of Nikhil’s large intestine. When operation was finally over, the couple bolted out of their hard, plastic chairs and was reassured with the good news of success. The danger had passed, but the decadelong trudge to full recovery proved a long and winding road, filled with almost insurmountable obstacles. Surmount them they did, but not without a lot of help and support from different quarters.
“We had an excellent surgeon who managed our expectations and prepared us for each stage. On the home front, we had a kind and dedicated nanny for Nikhil, who loved him as her own grandchild. My husband and I were surrounded closely by supportive family and good friends, who helped us emotionally and spiritually throughout the duration of this journey. Our employers and colleagues too were incredibly compassionate and patient,” recalls Amita. Today, Nikhil Dutt Sundaraj is a sprightly young man who, just like his peers, spends too much time on Facebook and enjoys a regular kick-a-bout with friends. The only trace of his time shuttling in and out of hospital is a small scar at his stomach, where the colostomy bag used to be. “The surgery scar is the only noticeable remnant of that time and I just have to monitor it every now and then. Other than that, I live my life pretty much like any other normal teenager,” Nikhil says with a smile. Fortunately, Nikhil barely remembers the suffering that he went through as an infant. He does recall falling sick more often than his peers as well as the regular visits to the doctor’s office, but his other memories have degraded, lost in the sands of time. Even so, he is not the sort to dwell on the past, especially with his whole life ahead of him. His optimistic and happy-go-lucky attitude towards life is infectious and he advocates other unwell children to adopt the same stance, no matter how bleak the initial prognosis seems to be. “Don’t worry about it,” says Nikhil, “just follow the doctor’s instructions, make some good friends and enjoy life.” After all, once upon a time, Nikhil and his parents too were fighting a battle that had no end in sight. Yet, their perseverance and fortitude as well as the assistance they received from the Ronald McDonald House Charities (RHMC) Singapore helped them pull through. It is for this very reason that Amita was more than happy to serve on the
Family & Life talks to Ms Fadzilah Kamsin, Child Life Specialist, Department of Paediatrics, National University Hospital about the healthy siblings of unwell children. For the full interview, visit familyandlife.sg.
Why must you pay attention to the healthy siblings of sick children? When a family has a child with chronic illness, life changes for the family. Parents may tend to give extra attention to an ill child and may overlook that they are neglecting or creating unfair expectations for their healthy children. Healthy siblings can be become invisible unless they demand attention. Therefore, sometimes healthy siblings wish that they were sick so that they can become the centre of the family’s attention.
Never ever tell a parent with a sick child that you understand how you feel, because you don’t. Instead, just do your best to give kindness, compassion and patience in ways that they need it, and not in the way you think they should... board of the organisation when she was given the opportunity. “I had made special arrangements to stay closer to Nikhil, five minutes away in fact, when he was warded. For other not-so-fortunate families, being far away from their sick child is not an option that anyone would choose. Yet, they have to grapple with the daily commute to the hospital on top of the mental anguish and financial concerns. It genuinely is too much for anyone to handle,” says Amita. The recently established Ronald McDonald House (RMH), situated within the grounds of the National University Hospital, is that loving bridge between a sick child and his or her family. It provides shelter and a cosy place to stay for up to eight parents at any one time so that they will always be within arm’s reach of their brood. After all, love from the family is a powerful medicine – one that Amita strongly believes in. She understands, more than most people, the torrid times that a parent goes through when his or her child is struck down by illness, and knows that the suffering each parent is
subjected to is unique. “Even if you had a sick child, each situation is different. Never ever tell a parent with a sick child that you understand how you feel, because you don’t. Instead, just do your best to give kindness, compassion and patience in ways that they need it, and not in the way you think they should,” says Amita.
Other children may resent the additional responsibility. They might feel angry when they are asked to do more household chores, then feel guilty that they feel this way. These negative emotional experiences will have an adverse impact on their total well-being. Therefore, parents have to be aware of what the healthy siblings are going through so that they can address the issues before they unfold. On the other hand, the presence of a family member with a chronic illness provides opportunities for increased empathy, responsibility, adaptability and creativity. Healthy siblings can participate and help their sibling with his or her chronic illness. Healthy children in these situations generally become compassionate and empathetic individuals who will appreciate
their life, health and family. Acknowledge their kindness and support, and let them know how much you appreciate them. What can parents do when their other children are suffering from distress over their sick siblings? Parents may not be able to take away the source of their child’s distress but they can help alleviate it and make them feel secure and cared for through these ways. Keep it “normal” as much as possible. Try to treat your children equally. Keep to existing rules and enforce them to minimise jealousy and guilt. Try to maintain a normal schedule of activities and try not to rely on healthy kids as caregivers before they are ready so that they can keep to their typical routines. It’s OK to have fun. Having fun can relieve stress and rejuvenate your energy. Let your children spend time with friends and family without focusing on the illness. Do also set aside individual time with your healthy children where the focus is on their lives other than their sibling’s illness. Keeping the lines of communication open. Give attention to the healthy siblings’ emotions and needs. Encourage them to talk about their feelings. The more opportunities the children have to express their emotions, the less emotional turmoil and fewer behavioural problems they are likely to surface.
She continues, “The RMH can serve as their home away from home, where Include siblings they can seek shelter and comfort ld a n o in the care and D c M while being as close as possible The Ronald s Singapore treatment. Encourage ritie to their child. People focus on House Cha n ee b their involvement in a apore has ad to MHC Sing the sick child, but the child h R e , av 89 h 19 o variety of ways, and let them h e incepted in than 900 children w rsing mor Officially looks to the parent for itals, disbu to more p tell you how they would el os g h an ’s n ty t in the ci a guardia everything. Who, then, al treatmen ic ed like to be involved. For m o g under process. looks after the parent? donations lion in the il f o m rt 5 o $ p S instance, include them in p than y also ugh the su tions thro The charit Parents need help, . ra e re p o o ap s s g it it some of the doctor visits nds ne of ers in Sin gapore fu onald’s, o well-wish compassion and love RMHC Sin funds. McD charity for each public and e l and hospital sessions as is ra e ra n e to g ts to the activities from the too, and this is what the e five cen d raising n at n fu o that may help demystify s d e is so organ onors, al House offers.” rporate d co st e ) the illness. They may rg H la ouse (RM al sold. cDonald H M g d Happy Me in al n m o o also benefit from e welc ’s first R ospital. Th Singapore Indeed, although one time, niversity H y stablished U e an al seeing and connecting it n at y, io tl le at n p Rece f the N eight peo their medical advancements grounds o milies or ossible to p fa r as u with other patients’ fo se inside the o to p brother t to be as cl n house u might have made massive ir younger ts who wan e facility ca n th e r ar p fo siblings so that they know e ey ar to be there whether th who want strides through the years, s g n li b si that they are not alone. child, or the best drug on the market to help en or sister. Involving them in their ill ke e ar ers. If you cannot be found on shelves or es volunte l them at m ai co em el sibling’s care will make them w ay H m , you The RM to its cause or call 6778 1934. distilled in laboratories. It comes or donate feel like an important part of the sg hc.org. contact@rm from the heart, and it doesn’t treatment process. require a doctor’s prescription.
Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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FOCus
She survived ... By Farhan Shah
so can you cells are still confined to the milk ducts and has not yet spread to the rest of the breast. There was one problem though: the errant cells were very near the nipple, which meant that Theresa might potentially lose her “nicelooking enough nipple” in the event the doctor deemed it necessary during the operation.
Theresa Tan took on breast cancer and won. Now, she wants to share her story with others. Her message: there is nothing to fear.
Theresa Tan has a Captain America T-shirt in her wardrobe, not exactly the clothing of choice for most 46-yearolds. But, then again, Theresa is unlike your typical middle-aged Singaporean woman. The mother of three regularly updates her Instagram feed with photos of memorable moments, choice quotes and pet peeves, and has boldly gone to watch the One Direction film with her tweenage daughter (and lived to tell the tale). She’s even completed a few races. Theresa is also a breast cancer survivor and has been free of the scourge for more than three years now. While most women would have kept quiet, Theresa decided to chronicle her battle and recovery in a blog with the hope of helping others who were, and still are, fighting breast cancer. She’s also penned her experiences in a book titled A Clean Breast. “Writing this book was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and it took such a long time. But, it was a story that had to be told to help women and their husbands to have hope and be strong when cancer hits,” says Theresa.
I no longer see today as a prelude to tomorrow – today must be used up completely!
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Family & Life • Oct 2013
Indeed, while Theresa’s life right now is a picture-perfect Instagram image of #bliss, it wasn’t too long ago when the former editor-in-chief of Elle Singapore was walking in a dark tunnel, with the light and the end nowhere in sight. It started out as a sharp pain in Theresa’s right breast. One mammogram and an excruciating biopsy later, Theresa was diagnosed with ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS), or more commonly referred to as Stage 0 cancer. That’s when the cancerous
For a while, although she admits it was quite ludicrous now looking back, Theresa was fretting over the potential loss of her nipple. “I considered going for chemotherapy so that I could possibly shrink the cancer growth and save my breast! It wasn’t a logical and sound idea though due to how the cancer cells were spread out,” says Theresa, “so, while I desperately wanted to save my nipple, I also knew deep inside that saving it could mean losing my life if I decided to wait any longer.” With thoughts of her family uppermost in her mind, Theresa bravely opted for the route that would get her up and running within the shortest possible time – a lumpectomy (where the surgeon attempts to remove all of the cancer without touching the nipple), and possibly a full mastectomy (if the nipple can’t be saved), followed by breast reconstruction. Thirteen hours after being wheeled into the operating theatre, Theresa came out, cancer-less and unfortunately, nipple-less as well — she had a full mastectomy and a breast reconstruction. The most dangerous portion of her journey was over but the hardest part was only just beginning. “It took me three months to get out of bed without feeling like death, and another three years before I began to feel like my body was 80 percent mine again.” Theresa acknowledges the massive influence her family played in her journey, putting aside their own troubles to support her as she clawed her way back to some semblance of normality. In fact, while the struggles of the breast cancer fighter are regularly highlighted in the media, the tribulations the supporting cast has to go through are rarely given much
coverage, even though they are equally as important. “The shock of my discovery was bad for Kevin (my husband). I hadn’t seen him so wordless and pale since our son was born premature,” says Theresa. “My kids also had some degree of worry. My second child, Bethany, was probably the worst hit. Her grades slipped quite drastically the following year and she went from being a very chirpy and responsible girl to someone who found fault with everything and who didn’t want to participate in her classes or outside activities. Her form teacher and I had a tough year with her.” Thankfully, she began climbing out of it, thanks to the school counsellor. Nevertheless, Theresa is just thankful she can be there for her children and watch them grow up to become outstanding individuals (albeit one who has learned a cuss word or three — Theresa says such instances offer teaching moments). She’s started snapping lots of family photos, not only to appreciate the family moments but to immortalise the memories. No more putting off family time for work as well. Theresa cut down on her business commitments, streamlined her work and started spending more time with each of her kids and her husband. And as cliché as it sounds, she’s begun appreciating each day “as a gift that mustn’t be squandered”. After all, after having triumphed over a disease that claimed the life of her mother, Theresa has the licence to, well, wax lyrical about life. “I no longer see today as a prelude to tomorrow – today must be used up completely! And no putting off the important stuff such as doctor’s appointments and parent-teacher meetings,” says Theresa with a smile. And that includes wearing a Captain America t-shirt whenever she feels like it.
A Clean Breast retails for S$20 and can be purchased at Kinokuniya and other major bookstores. Win a copy of her book in our contest! Find out how on page 5.
Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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NURTURE
My child LIES is that a problem?
Believe it or not, lying indicates that your child’s brain is developing! Family & Life reveals the different phases of lying and how you should deal with these stages.
Finding out for the first time that your child is capable of lying can be a disconcerting experience. You start to wonder whether he or she is developing into a pathological liar and begin fretting about the course of action you should take to nip this problem in the bud. Child experts agree that there is one course of action you can take: do nothing. In fact, according to Associate Professor of Psychology Angela Crossman from John Jay College of Criminal Justice, a pre-schooler with above-average IQ surprisingly tends to lie more often. Research also shows that a preschooler with an aptitude for lying develops better social skills when they become adolescents. Of course, it is still important to educate your child about the value of honesty. Understanding the difference between a lie that helps your little one’s development and a lie that hurts the affected people will help you guide your child. The First Fibs (Before the age of 3) Children usually begin lying between the ages of 2 and 3, dishing out half-truths and whole lies in order to gain something for themselves. They could be trying to get out of a disliked activity or deflecting the blame away from themselves. At this age, your children will not understand that what they’re doing (lying) is wrong. Getting angry and punishing them will not serve any purpose except make you frustrated and your child confused and hurt. Instead, talk to them about the direct consequences of their action. For example, if your child accidentally breaks a vase, keep calm and point out to him or her that the vase has been broken. Stop yourself from asking your child who is responsible. He or she will most likely point a finger at the sibling or even an imaginary friend.
Tall Tales, Elastic Reality (Ages 3 – 5) Your children will seem to have a tenuous grasp on reality, believing strongly in monsters under the bed and playing with invisible friends. Occasionally, some of your children’s tall tales might seem troubling such as the sudden death of an imaginary buddy, but it is important to keep things in perspective. The fantasy that your children have constructed for themselves is actually one of the ways for them to process new ideas in life, such as the troubling concept of death, without being overwhelmed. Acknowledge and indulge their tall tales during this period; it is an amazing age of discovery for them. The Start of the White Lie (Ages 6 – 8) The ability to tell a white lie is an important step in your children’s development. It indicates that they’re beginning to think about the people around them instead of just themselves. However, sometimes, your children will also tell a not-so-white lie for understandable and forgivable reasons. Unlike the far-fetched fibs that your children told when they were younger, the untruths they construct now are usually well-thought-out. The key is to remain calm and uncover the reasons behind the lie before taking the appropriate action. For example, your child might lie about feeling unwell to get out of going to school because he or she is actually being bullied by a classmate. After weighing all the different considerations and meting out the punishment for the lie, it is imperative that you explain to your child why he or she is being punished in this way, and explain the type of behaviour that you expect from him or her.
According to an Associate Professor of Psychology, a pre-schooler with above average IQ surprisingly tends to lie more often. 20
Family & Life • Oct 2013
Keeping Secrets (Ages 9 – 13) You might notice a subtle shift in your children’s behaviour around this age. Before, they would tell you the full rundown of what happened in school but now, they become secretive and are vague about the details of their day in school. This is not a sign of them being dishonest but rather a reflection of their growing maturity. Child psychiatrist Dr Michael Brody reveals that it’s actually troubling if a child between the ages of 13 and 14 tells everything to their parents — it’s a sign that they’re not growing up as they should. The occasional fib at this age is not unusual. Your best response is to express your displeasure and punish them accordingly based on the lie’s severity. Make it a point to be truthful yourself to set a good example for your children and explain to them how lying damages the relationship. Body of Lies (Ages 14 and above) Teenagers and lying go hand in hand, but it can still be quite a shock for you when you discover the extent to which your teenager will lie to protect themselves. A teenager who regularly lies doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent. It’s just another phase of growing up. Be detached and objective when you’re dealing with your lying teenager, and prevent your heart from overruling your mind. After all, the first instinct of any parent is to scold the teenager for lying. The teenager may be offended and soon, a simple matter escalates into a shouting match, potentially destroying the relationship permanently. The moment you suspect that your teenager is lying, give the matter your immediate attention before it gets worse. Inform your teenager that you want to trust them and that lying will break the bond of trust you have, for which there will be clear consequences. By letting your teenagers know that you still have their concerns uppermost in your mind, they’ll (hopefully) act in a trustworthy and mature manner.
Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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NURTURE
children Let
play
A child’s playtime is surprisingly not child’s play at all. In fact, playtime is important for your child’s development. Family & Life busts a few common playtime myths.
Playt is a Lime Priorow ity It is
comm on for paren ts to t ell their c hildre nt comp lete th o eir home wor play. A k or chores be ch high o ild’s playtim fore they c an n the e is us list u paren ts, wh of priorities ally not en of an int egral actually, it s most part o h ould b f a kid e ’ s d a y. Of cou rse, yo ur chil negle dren s ct the ir sch hould Howe o n’t o l work ver, th o e r chor p childr l a y t es. im en eng e that age in your their f , eithe riends r with , is ex in the you treme ir cog l y impo or nitive, emotio rtant socia nal de velopm l, physical and ent. What may s eem l about ike a c and w hild asting crucia time is messing l part actu of t will pl ay a p heir life pro ally a a ces r t a well -adjus in moulding s and ted yo them uth. into
Letting your children play by themselves while you quietly observe and respond accordingly helps them to cultivate initiative and hone their creativity. 22
Family & Life • Oct 2013
ime Playt Be Must tured Struc is
pore Singa led l-oi a wel c mi econo , ine mach , and cture ted by e u a r c t i s d hedul nd pre tion a ot in the sc a s i n orga ities n eavily t activ nce and h n a r r e nie conve can in ur society. to ly the disrup to app e t n a also w e to th lly, we d structur suring a r u t Na ente n, en regim hildre same ur young c engage in, . fo ey jective lives o y activity th an ob s r a e h v e, that e aytim ing pl d u l c in uring aos d h c e m ven lity, so ust as, or e an a u t c In a n be j children th me ca playti neficial, for g your n be ! Letti ppens more d play e r t u the a t h ha struc cide w giving them e d n e childr aytime and s helps to ake g pl durin make mist oblem nd pr o a t y t i . m v roo g age creati their a youn m o r build f ls g skil o solvin wise t be un d r l e u v o o w ol rse, it lute contr am u o c f O ro bso hem a etting them m from e give t l h t t me bu u monitor hen playti w o y ile hem h t w t i f y l e free y ben ill onl r. afar w lde row o g y e h t
Playti Must me Safe Be
As a c aring paren t, you will under standa bly want t o prot e ct your y oung o n e from as pos inju sib climbin le, restrictin ry as much g them g platf orms arms that th from canno eir s t re them from r ach and pre tubby unn ventin barefo g oted o ing around n the gr and fa as ll over a rock s lest they t . rip But, th e scra pes th might at y suffer are vit our childre their h n al in an skills d-eye coord developing and sp ination atial a waren , motor ess. Just l ike ho wy when learni ou first fell ng ho bicycl w to r down e, the ide a sa playti me. F me applies alls a parce re jus to l of th e growi t part and and w ng exp ill onl erienc y enri lives i c e h n the long r your childr en’s un.
Good Bad GGuy/ Playt uy Lead ime Violes to It’s n nce o
tt that l rue etting your childr en ac t o a goo d guy ut fantasie a s invo nd a b those lving ad gu you u y s , ually will c see in like reate violen movie t child s, ren. Actin g out these gives scena your rio ch to ex plore ildren a c s hanc the q right e uesti an ons o ropes d wrong, f learn of ne the go them to pra tiation an da c their t emot ise contro llows i o lli ns du strug gles. ring p ng I ower t also oppo rtu giv the id nity to tea es you an ch th eals of fai e and j rness m about ustic , e e quali if the tears ty y ru in overb their eyes n to you w earin , cau sed b ith g pla ymat y an e . In fac t, ma ny c childr en de hild exper prive imag d of t ts say inary his ty p l a be vio p lent l y are more e of a ter on likely other t i beha viour n life or ha o al pro v e blem s.
t Table me i Playt Is Baid are ldren
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23
Word Power NURTURE
Give Them
The first word a toddler utters is an unforgettable moment in any parent’s life. However, the subsequent words the little one says are just as important! Family & Life talks to two researchers and discovers how you can groom your child to be a young Shakespeare.
Dads and Mums will have to fight for bragging rights because the first word a toddler usually says, according to a study done by Abbott Nutrition, is a toss-up between “daddy” and “mommy”.
And when can you expect to hear those magical two syllables? On average, between the ages of 11 and 12 months. Toddler girls also trumped their male counterparts in the vocabulary department, learning and speaking 34 more words on average than the boys. The findings were backed up by earlier research done in this field and most researchers are in agreement that this advantage is due to
Method 1: Eat More (Frequently)!
In the study, Dr Tan and fellow researcher Dr Low Yen Ling, the Senior Lead for Clinical Research and Nutrition in the Abbott Nutrition R&D Asia-Pacific Centre, discovered that babies eating smaller but more frequent meals learned more words and had a more robust vocabulary.
?
Top 10 words said most often by toddlers in Singapore
Daddy
Bye Bye Mummy Car Ball Baby Dog Eye Cat
Bus
“This is likely because a toddler’s brain is undergoing rapid growth and development and is a nutrienthungry organ,” says Dr Low, “therefore, a regular supply of nutrient in the form of smaller but more frequent healthy meals snacks may be especially helpful.” The differences are startlingly large. For every additional meal or snack that a baby consumed, he or she learned a whopping eight more words (18- to 20-months-old) or 19 more words (25- to 27-months-old). A word of caution though: these meals have to be complemented with regular milk consumption and are not a substitute. So, it is time to dispense with the age-old habit of eating three times a day. It might even help you improve your own vocabulary!
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Family & Life • Oct 2013
the inherent genetic differences – “girls in infancy [tend to] develop faster neurologically”. Dr Tan Seok Hui, an Adjunct Assistant Professor with the National University of Singapore, also believes parents tend to speak differently to their babies based on the gender, which contributes to this gap. “Parents use different speech styles with them. Boys receive relatively fewer phrases such as ‘put the bear over there’, while girls may be more exposed to words by their parents who use a descriptive style (e.g., ‘does the bear like the ice cream?’) with them,” Dr Tan explains. Genetic differences aside, Dr Tan introduces three methods that parents can try out to significantly improve their toddlers’ vocabulary.
Method 2: Read More Often!
Of course, eating a lot without complementing it with other activities is a ticket to childhood obesity. Dr Tan and Dr Low recommend that parents read as much as possible to their child to maximise the amount of words the toddler learns. “Every additional hour of reading per week was associated with three more words (18- to 20-months-old) and six more words (25- to 27-months-old) in expressive vocabulary,” Dr Low says. Why is this so? Dr Low attributes this to the attention parents pay to their child when reading. “When a parent is reading to his or her toddler, the parent will point and talk about things that are on the page while the toddler will look on at the same thing,” she says. “And because the toddler is looking at the object the parent is labelling, he or she is likely to learn the words that describe that particular object.” Picture books are especially useful. The parent will point out the object on the page and read the name out loud to the toddler who is sitting on his or her lap. The toddler will then associate that image with the noun or title that the parent uttered. So parents, purchase or borrow a couple of picture books, sit down with your toddler for a few hours and read to him or her. It is great entertainment for a few hours and also helps to strengthen the bonds between the both of you!
Method 3: Speak More Words (And In Complete Sentences)!
Now that you’re feeding your toddler smaller but more frequent meals and have picture books, what else can you do to turn your toddler into the next Shakespeare? Speaking to them frequently, of course. And avoid the baby talk! Studies have shown that the more frequently toddlers hear a word, the earlier they learn that word. Similarly, the larger the variety of words, the bigger your child’s vocabulary becomes since your toddler only learns words which they have heard. When your toddlers are older, Dr Tan recommends speaking to them in complete sentences as it fosters their grammatical development. At this stage, their brains are like a sponge, learning and absorbing a lot of information at once.
Doctors discovered that babies eating smaller but more frequent meals learned more words and had a more robust vocabulary.
Oct 2013 • Family & Life
25
HEALTH
Fear No More: Your Kid’s st
1Dental Visit
The First Visit: The Most Important Event
“Bring your child to the dentist when he or she is about a year old.” During the visit, the dentist will teach you and your partner the ways to clean and care for newly erupted baby teeth, especially after mealtimes. One of the worst things you could do is to allow your infant to sleep with the milk bottle in the mouth. This causes the milk to pool around the gums and teeth, which can lead to serious rampant decay of your toddler’s teeth. Although this is a treatable condition, it can be very expensive. “The first dental visit can make or break your child’s attitude towards the dentist.” Choose a dentist who is adept at handling children. For Dr Lim, the most important thing that he does is to introduce the “strange equipment” in a fun and exciting manner. He lets the child discover the dental chair and how it works, and become familiar with the dental tools he uses. When your child becomes familiar with the environment and equipment, he or she will usually settle down and begin to enjoy the new experience.
The Second, Third and Subsequent Visits: Turning Dental Care Into A Routine “When your child is between 3- and 4-years-old, it is time for the second visit.” By this age, your little one should have a mouth full of baby chompers – about 20 in total – that help him or her to chew on food and act as the bestaccessories to a beautiful smile. This is the perfect time to introduce your child to the wonders of routine dental care to keep those pearly whites gleaming.
Milk teeth might be temporary but it’s still important for your kid to visit a dentist. Healthy baby chompers play many important roles in your child’s life. Dr Lim Swee Teck explains how parents can take care of their precious one’s teeth.
Dr Lim Swee Teck has been peering into mouths almost every day for the past 48 years, polishing teeth, removing plaque and filling in cavities for young and old alike. Through the years, the friendly dentist has built a reputation for himself among his peers for being very good with kids, a child whisperer of sorts. Dr Lim’s journey began in the early 1960s when he was training to be a dentist. Every Saturday, he would watch as crying children who needed to have their rotten teeth extracted sat on the chair, afraid of what was to come next – a painful orchestra of dental tools that would inevitably leave them with missing teeth and a bleeding mouth. “How frightening it is for the child! The brain registers all these events and that is how ‘intense fear’ arises in these children. I was so moved by the children’s [plight] that I decided to pursue this area of specialisation,” Dr Lim enthuses. Today, the first male in paediatric dentistry has a booming practice and a long list of happy children who look forward to sitting on his comfortable dental chair, a far cry from the picture of crying kids he was faced with almost 50 years ago.
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Family Family&&Life Life •• Oct Oct2013 2013
The dentist will check and polish your kid’s teeth and explain how to prevent tooth decay. Following the second visit, it is best if you and your child return to the dentist every six months. “Parents are usually concerned about stains, cavities and alignment of their children’s teeth.” During each check-up, the dentist will check your child’s teeth for small cavities and repair them before they endanger the life of the tooth. Then, the dentist finishes off the visit by scaling and polishing your child’s teeth before applying fluoride gel to further protect and strengthen them. Dr Lim highly recommends parents to be more aware of the developmental processes that take place in their child’s mouth so that they too can take part in the dental care process at home. By being an active and encouraging participant, your child will be motivated to take care of their teeth and will adopt healthy dental habits that will stay with them throughout their lives.
The Fears: Turning Frights Into Smiles
“One of the drawbacks of the delivery of dental care is that we are working in the most sensitive part of the body: the mouth.” Around the mouth are a pair of watchful eyes, an inquisitive nose and a pair of sensitive ears that are constantly surveying the environment to alert the brain of any threats, especially those that are uncomfortably close to the mouth. After all, the mouth helps to transport food and consequently, nutrition, to the body. This protective mechanism developed for survival is the cause for the anxiety and fear of dental treatment. Dr Lim advises parents to monitor how the dentist moves around their child’s mouth. A good dentist will be incredibly gentle while still maintaining a high standard of care and management when working on a young one. This helps to lessen the anxiety that your kid will feel and helps him or her to accept, and possibly even look forward to, the procedure. “Also, the dental tools used in the treatment and dental care can be scary if not properly introduced to the child.” Dental equipment usually have sharp ends, which can be quite frightening to your child. The dentist should properly introduce these tools to your child and reassure him or her of the equipment’s purpose. A savvy paediatric dentist will give nicknames to these tools to make them sound less ominous. Dr Lim personally calls the dental probe “baby fork” and the dental excavator “baby spoon”, as these are familiar names in a child’s daily life. He also lets the child feel the rubber cup and rotating hand piece, testing them on the child’s fingernails so that he or she can feel the sensation before he uses these tools on the teeth.
Dr Lim Swee Teck is a paediatric dentist at T32 Junior, a dental clinic specially designed for kids. An entertainment area has been put in the waiting room, complete with LED TVs that screen kids-centric films and a Kinect Xbox 360 for gaming. There are also dedicated boys’ and girls’ treatment rooms, and each child is rewarded with balloons, stickers and pictures at the end of each visit. For more information, visit www.t32dental.com/t32-junior.
T32 Junior Dental Services
• Consultation and Examination • First Visit: Appointment and Procedure • Diet Counselling & Preventive Advice • Early Childhood Caries Assessment • Oral Hygiene Instructions for Parents and Children • Growth and Development • Prophylaxis and Topical Fluoride Application • Fissure Sealants • Pulpal (Nerve) Treatment • Tooth Coloured Fillings • Stainless Steel Crowns • Extractions
For more enquiries, please feel free to contact us at 67331388 or email us at junior@t32dental.com.
www.t32dental.com T32 Dental Centre (Main Centre)
One Orchard Boulevard, Camden Medical Centre #17-00 S(248649) T: 6733 1388 E: t32@t32dental.com
T32 Dental Pearl At Marina
One Raffles Link #01-03 S(039393) T: 6238 0268 E: smile@thedentalpearl.com.sg
T32 Dental Pearl At Jurong
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Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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HEALTH As much as we want to protect our children, they do get hurt. Dr Sean Leo shares with Family & Life the two most common knee injuries and what you can do to help your children bounce back.
“Hey dad, I hurt my knee during basketball today!” my son announced as I stepped home. Knee injuries are common complaints that I come across often in my line of work as an orthopaedic surgeon, and I get similarly worried when I hear it from my son. “So, can I go for martial arts training tomorrow?” my son quickly added.
OUCH! “Whoa, hang on a second, son…. Let me first take a look at how badly you might be hurt!” I replied.
By Dr Sean Leo
My Knee! This exchange with my son made me realise the sports scene in Singapore has changed significantly over the last decade. Today, participating in sports has become a way of life for many Singaporeans. In the same way, children today are also exposed and encouraged to get involved in sports and games at an early age, which is good as it develops the children’s physique and general motor skills, and also serves as a platform for children to learn social behaviour and team-building. However, as sports participation rates increase, so too do the number of sports-related injuries in children and adolescents. While children do have an incredible ability to heal, there are some injuries that are not as benign as they seem. Furthermore, as children take their sporting activities more seriously, they may experience increased pressure from coaches and fellow teammates for them to continue playing or training despite sustaining injuries.
While children do have an incredible ability to heal, there are some injuries that are not as benign as they seem. 28
Family & Life • Oct 2013
In my medical practice, I frequently encounter the following situation. A young athlete comes to my clinic seeking medical treatment only after repeated injuries have occurred. And sometimes, permanent damage may have occurred as a result, requiring surgical intervention. It is normal to want our kids to do well in their chosen sport. However, the incorrectly placed encouragement of “no pain, no gain” may sometimes do more harm than good. So, when is a knee injury severe enough to warrant a visit to the doctor? Injuries in the child can often be divided into two broad categories.
One
Repetitive Stress Injury These injuries are often due to the training’s intensity. With adequate rest, most of these injuries would recover by themselves. Repetitive stress injuries usually strike growing young athletes due to the presence of cartilaginous growth plates (the medical term for the area of growth in long bones), which are responsible for lengthening the bones and are also prone to repetitive stress and injury. As the young athlete grows older, these plates will slowly be replaced with bone. Occasionally, repetitive stress injuries can affect a child’s bone growth, resulting in slight deformities that become more pronounced as the child gets older. One such condition is OsgoodSchlatter disease, which is a prominent bony lump in front of the knee. While conditions such as these do not require surgery, the symptoms could possibly be decreased through early recognition of the condition and adequate rest.
Two
Acute Injury Involving Considerable Force This injury usually occurs when the child is involved in a significantly acute event, such as an awkward fall. He or she will find it difficult to move the injured limb and there is usually pain and swelling. When this happens, bring the child for a more detailed medical assessment to check for fractures. Even if there are no fractures, it is still crucial to monitor the injured limb for serious soft tissue injury. One of the more common acute knee injuries is a tear of the anterior cruciate ligament. A child suffering from this will have a swollen knee, and although there are no obvious fractures, the pain may be so debilitating that the child will have difficulty walking. Fortunately, the pain and swelling usually subside over a period of two weeks. After the pain and swelling has subsided, it is best to bring the child for a repeat assessment by an orthopaedic doctor.
Home Diagnosis
he complains medical assessment if the knee or is led tai de re mo a for s a swelling in Bring your child re than three days, ha conditions of knee pain lasting mo important to remember that some serious th rest. is wi t It en p. em lim signs of improv walking with a intervention may show nor injury. that require surgical mi a as n ke not be mista However, this should repetitive stress ns may be the result of s be safe and have itio nd co us rio se me in doubt, alway Additionally, so major trauma. When even though there is noa professional. the injury evaluated by was also able to walk without pain and to le ab s wa for his he n, so p. As such, he did go arm as a Luckily for my he could run and jum t his tha on e me uis to br te a tra lf ns se demo ed him the next day but earn martial arts training t of course, that’s a story for another time. result of a poor fall. Bu
Dr Sean Leo works as an orthopaedic surgeon in Changi General Hospital. His field of work includes managing general orthopaedic conditions and injuries with special focus on regeneration, repair and resurfacing of the joint. During his free time, Dr Leo is an endurance sport enthusiast and enjoys distance running, cycling and downhill skiing. He frequently participates in mixed martial arts training with his son, and bonds with his children through interactive sport. He is also a food lover and delights in bringing his lovely wife and two children for unique meal experiences.
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HEALTH
Crawling In My Skin The Lowdown on Atopic Dermatitis
One out of every five BRICK AND MORTAR MODEL children suffer from THE Normal Skin The bricks form the epidermis of the atopic dermatitis and the skin and the cement comprises the lipids, water and numbers are increasing oils which help to hold the bricks together. every year. Dr Audrey Alleviate The Tan from Thomson Skin Skin with Atopic Dermatitis For children with atopic dermatitis, the cement Symptoms! Specialist Centre shares isn’t very good, so the bricks (i.e., the • more about this common cells of the skin) can’t stay together Moisturise the skin with skin disease. and the cells of the skin break dermatologically-approved products down. When the barrier breaks down, your skin is more prone to allergens, which causes your skin to break down further. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Lipids
Epidermis Atopic Dermatitis
• Use soap- and fragrance-free toiletries, widely available in your pharmacies • Avoid physical activities that cause excessive sweating
Getting Under the Skin with Dr Audrey Tan
Why are more children suffering from atopic dermatitis now as compared to previous years? Many doctors postulate that we might have become too clean. In this hygiene hypothesis, a lack of early childhood exposure to infectious agents and microorganisms suppresses the natural development of the immune system. On top of that, the radical changes in today’s environment that we experience, such as global warming, might also play a part. The food that we eat now also contains a lot more preservatives and chemicals, which might contribute to the illness. However, to be honest, there are no conclusive theories. What are the most challenging aspects of treating atopic dermatitis? Treating infants with atopic dermatitis can be quite tricky, as there are certain medicinal restrictions in place that you have to adhere to. Also, educating the family about what needs to be done in the house to prevent the condition from worsening can be a challenge as they need to understand the need for a rather troublesome daily cleaning and moisturising regime. What would you tell parents whose kids are suffering from atopic dermatitis? Don’t beat yourself up over it! I’ve met many parents who feel guilty because they think it’s due to something they’ve done that has caused their kids to get this condition.
A Mother Speaks
Atopic Dermatitis 101 “Atopic dermatitis is one of the most common forms of eczema and 1 in 5 school-going children in Singapore suffer from it.” “The condition is endogenous, which means it is caused by the person’s own immune system.” “There is a hereditary element to atopic dermatitis. If one parent has it, the chances of the kid inheriting the disease is about 50%, and the odds rise to 75% if both Mum and Dad suffered from atopic dermatitis.” “The classic physical symptoms of atopic dermatitis are creases on the skin around the neck, knees and cheeks. A young infant with the condition might have rashes around the cheeks that are usually mistaken for milk rashes, when in actual fact, it might be the start of the ailment.” “Two of the most common factors that trigger an atopic dermatitis attack are house dust mites and sudden temperature changes. It’s important for a parent, whose child is suffering from this condition, to keep the house as clean as possible and to advise the kid to avoid extremely physical activities.” “Just like asthma, kids can outgrow atopic dermatitis.”
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Family & Life • Oct 2013
4-year-old Terrence has been suffering from atopic dermatitis since birth and has grown accustomed to the condition. Family & Life speaks to his Mum, Sim Sieu Yen, to discover how it was like for her to take care of him when he was growing up.
It started after three weeks when he started having rashes on his face, his scalp and his body. My husband and I brought him to a doctor who shaved off his head and we saw the swathes of angry red covering his skin. It badly affected Terence’s sleep because he kept scratching his skin until it bled. To stop him from injuring himself, we bought Tubifast garments for him to put on. That’s a full-sleeved body vest that helps in the treatment of atopic dermatitis. My husband and I really learned how to handle Terence’s condition through trial and error, as we tried everything to help him cope with and overcome the condition. Terence was like a guinea pig! But, as a result, he’s actually very good with medication now and is able to swallow pills without any hesitation. He’s also quite adept at applying the cream on the skin by himself. Terence’s motor skills are slightly affected since his hands and legs were always wrapped up in the Tubifast wrap, but he’s fast recovering and catching up with his peers. In fact, he’s stopped wearing Tubifast since the middle of this year and the patches of rawness are more localised at his feet and kneecaps. We hope this means he’s slowly outgrowing atopic dermatitis. Building up his immunity also certainly helped!
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yeS Café Hougang Community Club Oct 2013 • Family & Life
31
RELAX Don’t knock it until you try it! Ken Koh from House of Feng Shui reveals how you can easily apply basic feng shui principles in your family home to improve your quality of life.
Many people dismiss feng shui as an illogical pseudoscience. But, this ancient art is based on sound principles, and has been practiced by a host of influential people such as former American president Bill Clinton, real estate mogul Li Ka Shing and award-winning talk show host Oprah Winfrey. Feng shui can help to build a harmonious home and consequentially improve the person’s happiness as well as the relationships he or she has with other family members. How? Well, people are connected to the Trinity of Luck — Heaven, Man and Earth. Your Earth luck depends on your management of time and space, which is what feng shui is about. Simply put, feng shui is the study of
metaphysical energy, or what we call Qi, and how it flows from one place to another. When you understand the principles of feng shui, you will discover how you can manipulate this flow of energy for your own benefit. Feng shui is all around you, even when you’re not aware of its principles. For example, you might have stepped into an office, a restaurant or a home that does not feel right. This intuition of yours could be your first connection to the world of feng shui. Qi only exists when there is a flow of energy, which is caused by a difference in height levels. Energy originates from high places such as mountains, hills and top of slopes, and flows to low places. When there is a flow, it must stop somewhere and the
Quick Feng Shui Tips
Here are eight indispensable feng shui tips that will nourish your home with Qi and improves your family members’ quality of life: Greenery around your neighborhood is a strong 1trees indicator of good feng shui. Where you find lush and flowers blooming, you can be sure that you are in good hands.
Give a wide berth to power stations, transmission 2 towers and sharp features pointing into your home. This is because large, sharp objects are rather unsettling
and visually unappealing, which can subconsciously affect your outlook. If you already have one, a potted plant to block out this view can alleviate the problems that come with it.
Make sure your front door opens out to a clear space. 3 Do not block or clutter your entrance inside or out, as this will disrupt the Qi flowing in.
4
Ensure that your stove in the kitchen is not situated in line with any openings to prevent the nourishing Qi from rushing out.
Avoid having the headboards of your beds in line 5 of sight with the bedroom entrance. This is to prevent the Qi from rushing in and crashing into
your head when someone opens the door. When this happens, it might result in bad decision making and chronic head ailments.
Do not have water or aquariums in the bedroom, as 6 the movement of water is quite unsettling and can disrupt sleep. At the same time, water, which is Yin, will upset the Yin-Yang equilibrium in the room, affecting your rest.
Whenever possible, reduce or eliminate work in the 7sleep. bedroom and switch off all electronic devices when you The transmissions create a disruptive flow of energy that can upset your sleep.
a comfortable area for family bonding where all 8 Create members can gather and have fun together.
point at which the flow stops is usually around a collection of water. Hence, feng shui, which literally translates to wind-water in English, is essentially energy brought upon by the winds and stopping at the boundaries of water. When you are analysing the quality of the energy flow around the house, you have to discern the difference between what is external and internal, what exists and what doesn’t. There must be Qi flowing into your house for it to be qualified as good. Look around your home. Do you see a slope, a hill or undulations? Where is it originating from (look for the highest point)? Is there a road or a channel that opens up (e.g., one lane becoming two lanes) close to your house, which looks like it is welcoming the Qi flowing down from a higher point? According to feng shui, the best spot for your abode to be at is at the bottom of a slope with a large road situated very close to it to take advantage of the Qi. Once there is Qi, the three important factors that will internally affect your home’s feng shui are the positions of the main entrance and the stove, and the items in the master bedroom. Qi enters through the main entrance of your house and circulates around the home. The stove in your kitchen represents the health of you and your family, since it is where you or your family members cook food that provides nourishment for the family. Finally, the master bedroom is the place that you rejuvenate yourself, and having bad feng shui will interrupt your rest.
Preparing Feng Shui 101
Your Home
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Family & Life • Oct 2013
1 st sINGAPORE WORLD WUsHU / KUNG FU CHAMPIONsHIPs MARINA BAY sANDs • 16tH AND 17tH OF NOvEMBER 2013
FOR MORE ENQUIRIES 442 Orchard Road, #02-13 Orchard Hotel Shopping Arcade Singapore 238879 Tel: 6735-8812 email: kris@chi-life.com
902 East Coast Parkway, #02-09 Block B, Playground @ Big Splash Singapore 449874 Tel: 6348-1812 email: josh@chi-life.com Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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BITES
The Family
Tortilla Chicken Wrap Here at Family & Life, we believe that cooking can, and should be, a family affair! This month, we collaborate with Chef Affandi Rahman and present the Tortilla Chicken Wrap, a delicious and nutritious snack that everyone in the family can help to make.
The Tortilla Chicken Wrap is a wonderful go-to dish for any of your meals. It’s a perfect choice for busy parents or families constantly on the go because it’s not only easy to prepare but is chockfull with healthy ingredients! This versatile dish is also open to your own interpretation – replace the ingredients featured in our recipe with your own favourite filling. Fun and safe for the whole family, the Tortilla Chicken Wrap recipe lets the young ones participate. They can help to spread the mayonnaise and roll the wrap while the bigger ones can help Mum and Dad slice and bake the dish.
Serves: 1 to 2 people Degree of difficulty: Low Preparation time: 5 minutes Total cooking time: 12 minutes
Ingredients
Tortilla Chicken Wrap Tortilla Wrap 1 packet Boneless chicken leg 50 gm Carrot 10 gm Roma tomato 10 gm Yellow capsicum 10 gm Red capsicum 10 gm Green capsicum 10 gm Lettuce 10 gm Mayonnaise, low-fat or homemade 10 gm Homemade Mayonnaise Egg yolks, room temperature 4 nos Dijon mustard 1 tsp Olive oil 180 ml Worcestershire sauce 1 tsp Lemon juice 1 tsp Salt To taste
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Preparations Homemade Mayonnaise egg yolks 1. Prepare the dressing by whisking with Dijon mustard drip in the 2. Once it’s been mixed well, slowly then add the olive oil until the paste thickens, and salt Worcestershire sauce, lemon juice 3. Mix well when not serving 4. Chill the homemade mayonnaise Tortilla Chicken Wrap sius 1. Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees Cel , then bake the strips in 2. Cut the chicken leg into thin strips the oven for 10 minutes capsicums 3. Slice the carrots, tomatoes and ing to the packet 4. Heat up the tortilla wrap accord instructions p 5. Spread the mayonnaise on the wra sliced carrots, tomatoes 6. Add the lettuce, chicken strips and and capsicums onto the wrap serve with a salad 7. Roll the wrap, cut it diagonally and 8. Enjoy! This recipe is brought to you by Chef Affandi Rahman, resident chef at Jimmy Monkey Café & Bar.
Entrée GRAIN-FREE
Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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eveNts
WHAT’S HAPPENING
Forest Adventure Mobile Let your kids find their inner Tarzan or Jane in our urban jungle with Forest Adventure Mobile at City Square Mall this October! Suitable for children aged between 5- to 10-years-old, this one-storey high rope course provides a fun and challenging experience with nine obstacles that include ladders, suspension bridges, swings and nets. The first round is S$15 and additional rounds after the first round is S$5 but if you spend S$50 in a single receipt at City Square Mall, you can redeem free passes! Redemptions are limited to the first 20 children each weekday and the first 50 on weekends.
Where: Level 1 Atrium, City Square Mall When: 7 October to 20 October 2013 Price: S$15 per round, S$5 per extra round Spend S$50 in a single receipt to receive free passes.
Effective Parenting In The Early Years
The timeless fairy tales of yesteryear are given the musical treatment in this full-scale Broadway performance by i Theatre. Be enthralled and entertained by the energetic physical theatre, music, song and storytelling as you and your family enter a magical world, where good triumphs and evil is vanquished! There’s something for everyone at Grimm’s Fairy Tales, with lively action and beautifully crafted stories for the small ones and subtext and multi-layered performances to challenge the older young people and adults. Parenting can be quite scary, especially if you’re raising your first child. First-time parents, put your mind at ease with this upcoming forum specially catered for parents with young children called Effective Parenting In The Early Years. Four speakers – Dr Jennifer Kang, Mr John Ooi, Mr Adrian Lim and Dr John Hui – will share the simple things you can do to optimise your child’s
development, how you can achieve work-life balance for the family, what steps you can take to put the spark back in your marriage while raising a child at the same time and more!
Where: 55 Newton Road, Revenue House, IRAS Level 5 Auditorium When: 12 October 2013, 9 am to 12 pm Price: S$20 per couple and S$15 per person Purchase your tickets now at familylife.sg.
Your kids will also learn problem solving skills, creative thinking and teamwork, and more!
Where: Drama Centre Theatre, National Library Building When: 1 November to 17 November 2013 Price: From S$30 for a single ticket to S$144 for a family package Grimm’s Fairy Tales is recommended for children aged 4 years and above. Purchase your tickets now at SISTIC authorised agents islandwide or at sistic.com.sg.
Defending Science Exhibition Experience the amazing science behind military marvels and game-changing solutions on the battlefield at the recently remodelled permanent Defending Science exhibition at the Science Centre Singapore. Spanning 1,300 square metres and featuring more than 60 original and brand-new exhibits, the exhibition offers young and old alike a rare glimpse into the secretive world of defence science via four unique zones: Stealth and Surveillance, Radar, Armour, and Protection and Flight. Your kids will love the impressive line-up of multimedia exhibitions and interactive games designed to educate and entertain, so head on down to the Science Centre Singapore and discover a while new world.
Where: 15 Science Centre Road, Science Centre Singapore, Hall A Time: 10 am to 6 pm, open daily Price: Adult S$9, Child S$5 (aged 3 to 16), Senior Citizen $6 (aged 55 and above) A ticket allows you admission into the Science Centre Singapore premises.
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Family & Life • Oct 2013
LISTINGS paediatric CLINICS Anson International Paediatric & Child Development Centre 290 Orchard Road #13-07 Paragon Singapore 238859 Tel: 6836 2802 Belinda’s Clinic for Children 3 Mount Elizabeth #15-17 Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre Singapore 228510 Tel: 6734 5833 Chan Clinic for Children 6 Napier Road #09-09 Gleneagles Medical Centre Singapore 258499 Tel: 6472 2868 Child & Allergy Clinic 3 Mount Elizabeth #11-11 Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre Singapore 228510 Tel: 6736 0533 Child and Cardiology Practice 290 Orchard Road #07-10 Paragon Medical Centre Singapore 238859 Tel: 6887 3233 Children & Adult Skin Hair Laser Clinic 38 Irrawaddy Road #07-22 Singapore 329563 Tel: 6570 2303 Dorothy’s Baby & Child Clinic 1 Jalan Anak Bukit #02-20 Bukit Timah Plaza Singapore 588996 Tel: 6468 9803 Dr Warren Lee’s Paediatrics, Growth and Diabetes Centre 1 Orchard Boulevard #02-06 Camden Medical Centre Singapore 248649 Tel: 6235 2618 Dr Yvonne’s Clinic for Children & Babies, Paediatric, Rheumatology, Immunology & Allergy 41 Sunset Way Clementi Arcade #01-07 Singapore 597071 Tel: 6463 5001 E H Low Baby N’ Child Clinic 319 Joo Chiat Place #04-01 Parkway East Medical Centre Singapore 427989 Tel: 6344 0583 The Child Development Centre 10 Sinaran Drive #09-04 Novena Medical Centre Singapore 307506 Tel: 6397 6627 International Paediatric Clinic 1 Orchard Boulevard #11-06 Camden Medical Centre Singapore 248649 Tel: 6687 4440 K K Tang Adult & Paediatric Neurosurgery 3 Mount Elizabeth #10-11/12 Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre Singapore 228510 Tel: 6737 0177 Kids Clinic @ Bishan Blk 116 Bishan St 12 #01-28 Singapore 570116 Tel: 6356 8909 Kidz-Pediatric Occupational Therapy Consultants 19 Tanglin Road #04-03/04 Tanglin Shopping Centre Singapore 247909 Tel: 6887 5090 Luxe Wellness Centre for Women 333 Orchard Road #06-25 Mandarin Orchard Singapore 238867 Tel: 6884 3433 Ng Baby & Child Clinic Crown Centre #02-10/11 557 Bukit Timah Road Singapore 269694 Tel: 6467 6092
Paediatric Cardiology Pte Ltd 6 Napier Road #02-03 Gleneagles Medical Centre Singapore 258499 Tel: 6479 7718
Parkway Women & Fertility Clinic 80 Marine Parade Road #05-04/05 Parkway Parade Singapore 449269 Tel: 6345 5688
Foo & Associates Dental Surgeons 290 Orchard Road #09-03/04 Paragon Medical Central Singapore 238859 Tel: 6838 0903
International Tax Management 14 Robinson Road #13-00 Far East Finance Building Singapore 048545 Tel: 3152 0247
SY Lim Children’s Clinic 402 Orchard Road #05-18 Delfi Orchard Singapore 238876 Tel: 6835 2868
PK Women’s Specialist Clinic One Doctors Medical Centre 23 Serangoon Central #01-55 NEX Singapore 556083 Tel: 6636 9909
Gentle Dental Centre for Aesthetics and Implantology 401 River Valley Road Singapore 248299 Tel: 6887 4456
Origins Corporate Services 51 Goldhill Plaza #19-06 Singapore 308900 Web: originscorpsvcs.com Tel: 6353 5608
The Psychotherapy Clinic for Adults and Children 1 Orchard Boulevard #09-03 Camden Medical Centre Singapore 248649 Tel: 6732 7557 O&G & WOMEN’S CLINICS A Clinic for Women 17 Yuk Tong Avenue Chun Tin Court Singapore 596322 Tel: 6463 3366 Acufem Women’s Specialist Services 6A Napier Road #05-38 Gleneagles Hospital Singapore 258500 Tel: 6474 3821 Beh’s Clinic for Women 339 Thomson Road #05-03 Thomson Medical Centre Singapore 307677 Tel: 6352 9227 Douglas Ong Clinic for Women-Fetal Medicine & UroGynaecology 3 Mount Elizabeth #03-06/07 Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre Singapore 228510 Tel: 6737 6855
See Toh Clinic for Women 6 Napier Road #07-11 Gleneagles Medical Centre Singapore 258499 Tel: 6472 2283 Sincere Medical Specialist Center for Women 8 Sinaran Drive #06-19 Novena Specialist Centre Singapore 307470 Tel: 6507 0766 Tanny Chan Women’s Clinic & Surgery 6A Napier Road #06-10/13 Gleneagles Hospital Singapore 258500 Tel: 6472 6188 Dental Clinics A Line Dental Braces Clinic 1 Coleman Street #03-01 The Adelphi Singapore 179803 Tel: 6837 2722 Aaron Dental Care @ Holland V Blk 8A Lorong Mambong Holland Village Singapore 277674 Tel: 6466 7313
Gordon Lim Clinic & Surgery for Women 6 Napier Road #03-06 Gleneagles Medical Centre Singapore 258499 Tel: 6472 9988
Aloha Dental Clinic 14 Scotts Road #04-125 Singapore 228213 Tel: 6738 2268
Haig Specialist O&G Clinic 36 and 38 Haig Road Singapore 438741 Tel: 6744 7686
Angeline Ang Dental Surgery 9 Penang Road #07-02 Park Mall Singapore 238459 Tel: 6338 3339
Health & Fertility Centre for Women 290 Orchard Road #18-06 Paragon Medical Centre Singapore 238859 Tel: 6235 5066 Jeanette Chen Women’s Clinic 339 Thomson Road #05-02A Thomson Medical Centre Singapore 307677 Tel: 6255 5963 K C Ching Clinic & Surgery for Women 3 Mount Elizabeth #10-13 Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre Singapore 228510 Tel: 6734 3455 K M Heng Women’s Clinic 270 Sims Avenue #01-01 Singapore 387514 Tel: 6742 5155 Kusuma Lee Clinic Surgery for Women 304 Orchard Road #06-51 Lucky Plaza Singapore 238863 Tel: 6736 0405 (12) LN Sim Clinic for Women 339 Thomson Road #04-05 Thomson Medical Centre Singapore 307677 Tel: 6353 9270 Motoko Clinic for Women 290 Orchard Road #11-13 Paragon Medical Centre Singapore 238859 Tel: 6838 5366 Novena Surgery 10 Sinaran Drive #08-18 Novena Medical Centre Singapore 307506 Tel: 6397 2251
Atria Pan Dental Group 290 Orchard Road #19-01 Paragon Medical Centre Singapore 238859 Tel: 6733 3133
Henry Kwek Dental Surgery 1 Grange Road #10-05 Orchard Building Singapore 239693 Tel: 6732 8466 Icon Dental Surgeons 805 Bukit Timah Road #01-05 Sixth Avenue Centre Singapore 279883 Tel: 6463 5328
Kids Dental World 38 Irrawaddy Road #08-33 Mount Elizabeth Novena Hospital Singapore 329562 Tel: 6684 3113
A-Team Amahs & Cleaners Web: a-team.com.sg E-mail: enquiry@a-team.com.sg Tel: 6846 0428
KO Djeng Dental Centre 304 Orchard Road #05-15 Lucky Plaza Singapore 238863 Tel: 6734 3163 Lee & Lee (Dental Surgeons) 10 Collyer Quay #03-05 Ocean Financial Centre Singapore 049315 Tel: 6535 6113 Fitness & Wellness Light Chiropractic 6 Eu Tong Sen Street #03-13/25/26 The Central Singapore 059817 Tel: 6336 4063 Healing Hands Chiropractic 545 Orchard Road #08-07 Far East Shopping Centre Singapore 238882 Tel: 6836 6151
C & A Dental Studio 23A Lorong Mambong Holland Village Singapore 277682 Tel: 6468 7847
The Pit Personal Trainer 50 Tras Street Singapore 078989 Web: pitpersonaltrainer.com.sg Tel: 6222 4860
Chris Dental Surgeon 61 Stamford Road #01-04 Stamford Court Singapore 178892 Tel: 6333 3345
RITUAL Gym 11 North Canal Road #03-01 Singapore 048824 Web: ritual.sg Tel: 6536 7291
Dennis Tan Dental Surgery 9 Raffles Place #02-23 Republic Plaza Singapore 048619 Tel: 6438 5622
Aptima Nutrition & Sports Consultants Camden Medical Centre 1 Orchard Boulevard #07-08 Singapore 248649 Tel: 6836 9004
Embrace Dental Surgery 360 Orchard Road #01-14 International Building Singapore 238869 Tel: 6235 6325
My Private Chef 61 Tras Street Singapore 079000 Web: myprivatechef.com.sg Tel: 8123 1800 Amahs On Wheels 6 Ubi Road 1 #07-08 Wintech Centre Singapore 408726 Tel: 6837 2708
Bukit Timah Dental Clinic 557 Bukit Timah Road #02-06 Crown Centre Singapore 269694 Tel: 6466 3789
Dr HC Leong Dental Surgeon 8 Eu Tong Sen Street #20-86 The Central (Office Tower 2) Singapore 059818 Tel: 6222 7075
Personal Chef Singapore Web: personalchefsingapore.com Tel: 6386 1816
Irene Chua Dental Surgery 9 Penang Road #07-17 Park Mall Singapore 238459 Tel: 6333 4456
Asian Golf Centre Lessons are conducted at: Executive Golf Course and Driving Range, Track 7, Mandai Road, Upper Seletar Reservoir Singapore 779384 Tel: 8222 1121 (Enquiries and booking)
Dhoby Dental Surgery 150 Orchard Road #02-09 Orchard Plaza Singapore 238841 Tel: 6836 7553
Home Services
Alliance Professional Counselling 501 Bukit Timah Road #04-03 Cluny Court Singapore 259760 Tel: 6466 8120
Chem-Dry Carpet Cleaning 85 Genting Lane #04-03 Guan Hua Warehouse Singapore 349569 Tel: 6749 3252 Concierge Services Singapore 14 Robinson Road #13-00 Far East Finance Building Singapore 048545 Tel: 9173 6570 / 9674 5716 Prince’s Landscape & Construction 53 Sungei Tengah Road Singapore 698998 Tel: 6763 7000 Tai Kwang Garden Landscaping Specialist 67 Sungei Tengah Road Unit 9 Farmart Centre Singapore 699008 Tel: 6793 7779 Ancerlot International Swimming Pool Services 20 Maxwell Road #09-17 Maxwell House Singapore 069113 Tel: 6408 9708 Hayward Pool & Services 52 Greenleaf Drive Singapore 279552 Tel: 6466 1491 Other SERVICES Asia Jet Charter 3 Pemimpin Drive #04-01 Lip Hing Industrial Building Singapore 576147 Web: jetcharter.sg Tel: 8354 8857 UBER Singapore Personal Drivers Web: uber.com/cities/singapore E-mail: supportsingapore@uber.com Lightfoot Travel Designer Travel Specialists 33 Pekin Street #02-1A Far East Square Singapore 048763 Web: lightfoottravel.com Tel: 6438 4091
professional Services
Impulse Flyer 9 Temasek Boulevard #09-01 Suntec Tower Two Singapore 038989 Web: impulseflyer.com E-mail: contactus@impulseflyer.com
CST Tax Advisors 96 Robinson Road, #17-02 SIF Building Singapore 068899 Tel: 6226 5566
Tanglin-Orchard Drycleaners 19 Tanglin Road #06-41 Tanglin Shopping Centre Singapore 247909 Tel: 6734 0725
Oct 2013 • Family & Life
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OP-ED
My 2 cents on...
Being A First-Time Father, Overseas By Desmond Foo
In this exclusive series, our guest columnistsparents weigh in on the issues that are closest to their hearts. This month, one soon-to-be father reveals what it’s like to take care of a pregnant wife in a foreign country and the future repercussions.
I’m a loving husband to a Singaporean expatriate wife. We are currently based in Suzhou, China after my wife accepted an overseas job posting about a year back. While she makes the world a stickier place to live in during the day (she works with a self-adhesive tape company), I stay at home, working remotely in my pyjamas for my Singaporean firm back home. A few months back, my wife found out she was pregnant with our first child. Of course, there was much rejoicing in both our families. But, once we finished the celebrations, reality started to seep in. First of all, we were alone in Suzhou. Our relatives (and honorary babysitters) were more than 4,000 kilometres away and we had to traverse the pitfalls of pregnancy alone. Of course, some would say our parents were just a Skype call or e-mail away but nothing beats the personal touch of having your Mum’s
comfortingly nagging voice telling you what to do; in most cases, what not to.
the person is fit or well enough again to work.
Secondly, the medical facilities here are not as good as Singapore. Many times during my wife’s ultrasound sessions, I’m not sure whether the doctor is scanning my wife’s belly for signs of life or checking it for possible ticking parts i.e. a bomb. Sometimes, I’m not even sure whether the person is a certified gynaecologist.
That’s why you hear all the horror stories of errant drivers backing their vehicles again into the person they accidentally banged into, just to ensure the nails of the victim’s coffin are hammered in. If not, the driver stands to lose a big fortune sustaining the injured person’s route to recovery.
Raising a kid in China is also very different from rearing him or her in Singapore. At the moment, our plan is to stay in Suzhou until my wife completes her posting (which is for three years). That means our child will be exposed to China’s extremely hazardous quality of air for about two years and we’re worried how it might affect his or her health. The lack of social graces and hygiene here is also quite alarming. The Chinese enjoy making ghastly noises in public to muster all the phlegm they’ve got to launch nasty, sticky goo projectiles. We’ve also witnessed patrons smoking openly in the nosmoking area of a restaurant in a shopping mall, with the owner unwilling to enforce the regulations for fear of losing potential business. Traffic conditions are also something that my wife and I have to contend with on a daily basis, and in future, with a child in tow, it will become even more dangerous. Let’s just say the green man doesn’t bless you with invulnerability when you are crossing the road in China. Drivers here tend to just move forward even if the traffic light is telling them otherwise. On the bright side though, our kid might develop incredible, instinctive reflexes – great for sports! And since we’re on the topic of traffic, there is a law here in China that works like this (though I’m not sure whether it has been changed).
If you accidentally kill somebody in a traffic accident, you’ll need to compensate a lump sum of money to the deceased’s family. However, if you injure the person, then you’ll need to cover the person’s medical bill until
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China is also well-known for their unscrupulous counterfeiting and this isn’t just restricted to luxury goods. We’ve heard numerous stories from my friends who’ve ordered a plate of mutton to enjoy, only to find out much later on that what they consumed was rat meat. It makes us worry about whether what we’re eating IS really what it’s supposed to be. I’m slowly trying to develop the ability to differentiate between the different types of meat (and trust me, there are tons of food items in China masquerading as something else). However, the country isn’t without its fair share of good points though for raising a kid, lest you think otherwise. The cost of living here in Suzhou is cheaper than in Singapore. We can buy anything and everything under the sun from the online portal Taobao. I’ve even bought seafood and fresh produce before (and they’re not counterfeit too!). Take that eBay! Our future kid will also be able to develop an excellent command of Mandarin, which is very useful in the future when China becomes a juggernaut in the global economy. At the same time, our child will be exposed to a different culture at a young age, spitting and all, and since we’re planning to return to Singapore, it will be a great learning experience that will equip him or her with the necessary skills to succeed later on in life. I guess it can be quite scary to be firsttime parents in the Wild Wild East but it’s an experience that we wouldn’t want to trade for anything else in the world. And working from home in pyjamas is something that I would be hard-pressed to give up too.
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Family & Life • Oct 2013