Family Booster Magazine Volume 20 by Familybooster

‘’How I met my Husband and why we are running ministry together’ -TOPE ALABI

FROM THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

MARRIAGE IS NOT AN OLYMPIC GAME, THIS IS WHAT IT IS

Marriage is not an Olympic game where the target is to win a medal.

ports is at the centre of the Olympic games. Athletes compete for the glory of being presented with a medal, either gold (for 1st place), silver (for 2nd place)

or bronze (for 3rd place). Athletes who rank up to 8th place get a certificate known as an Olympic Diploma in recognition of making it thus far into their specific event.

If there is a tie for any of the top three places, both competitors receive equal recognition, i.e., if there is a tie for first place, both athletes will receive Olympic gold.

MEDAL PRESENTATION

extra length to prepare to be among the best and beat the best to hit the podium to get the gold medal.

Until 1932, the medals were awarded at the closing ceremonies with the winners wearing evening wear to receive their medals. Today, they are given out immediately after the finals of the event. Victors may receive their medals in their country’s tracksuit.

The following are given to the winners: If marriage is not about winning, what is it for? It is about:

The victors are announced and they take their place on a three-tiered rostrum. They are given their medals by a member of the IOC afterwards. After all three athletes receive their medals, the national flags of the three winners are raised directly above them. The winner’s flag always flies the highest, with the silver and bronze medalist following in order. The national anthem of the gold medalist is played as the flags are being raised. Most Olympians use about four years to prepare for the Olympics with the medals podium in mind. They dream daily of the camera being beamed on them, their country’s flag being raised, the podium, the country tracksuit, and their national anthem being sung. Everything about the Olympics is about winning, from the first edition that took place in Ancient Greek in 776 BC, to the modern games that began in 1896, and to the just recently concluded games in Tokyo, Japan. So you have to go the

win at all costs. It is a relationship where you relate and win together, and it gets the MEDAL OF BLISS.

1. GROWING: There is no time you will know it enough; there is no time you will have it all. You have to keep growing together in knowing God and knowing each other. Also, you have to grow together in knowing marriage, family life, the state and stage of your • First place (the gold marriage better. When medal): It is composed of at least 92.5% silver plated with people stop growing, their marriage starts groaning in 6 grams of gold. The metal was valued at about US$494 pain and trouble begins to set in 2010. The Olympics in 1912 in. was the last time a medal made entirely of gold was 2. GIVING: Instead of awarded. thinking about winning, you • Second place (the silver have to think about giving to medal): 92.5% silver. The your spouse. metal value was about US260 In a great marriage, in 2010. couples involved have learnt • Third place (the bronze to give so many things to medal): In 2010, it was 97% their spouses. Time, copper with 0.5% tin and money, treasures, support, 2.5% zinc. The metal value care, encouragement, was about US$3 in 2010. At motivation, love, romance, the 2020 Summer trust, belief, faithfulness and Olympics held in Tokyo, sex, are given freely to each Japan, it was 95% copper and other. 5% zinc with a metal value of about $5. While the Olympics 3. GOING: Going on together is about competing to win a is one of the objectives of a medal, an Olympic Diploma great marriage. There should and fame, marriage is not. be no thoughts of divorce, separation or a second Marriage is not an Olympic option. Spouses are to give their all. game where you compete to

When your marriage is growing, giving and going, you have suddenly set it up for a great result and reward. If you decide to compete in your marriage, you and your spouse will lose. Your marriage and children will lose. In this edition of your Family Booster Magazine, my team and I will be helping you to know about GROWING your marriage. We will teach you about GIVING and make your marriage a GOING concern. This edition is loaded with lots of goodies; are you ready for it? Yes, let’s go and know how to make your marriage work. Take note of all our new books and videos. Avail yourself of the opportunity of getting them at a cheaper rate at this period. Thank you for being part of our success story. Your home can never be the same again. Mega blessings! Bisi Adewale

Family Booster Magazine: Building Families, Moulding destinies

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CREW

FAMILY BOOSTER CREW EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Bisi Adewale

ADMIN

Gideon Dosu Emeka Enenya

INTERVIEW Segun Ojo Seyi Babalola

EXPERT WRITERS

Yomi Adewale(FCA) Motherhood, Women issues Rev Tony Akinyemi (Natural Health) Christianah akindolie(Child Safety) Pastor Peace Akingunsoye (Family Spiritual Warfare) Sunday Anani(ACA) Family Finance Teens Issues Ann Dosu(Food and Spices) Damilola Owolabi (Teens world)

GRAPHICS

Isaac Owoichoyo

FOUNDERS

Bisi Adewale Yomi Adewale

ABOUT FAMILY BOOSTER MAGAZINE OUR FOCUS: Family Booster Magazine is totally focused on everything family. We will be bringing you SLOGAN: Building Families, Mending unusual content on Relationship, Marriage, Parenting, Family Health, Food, Family Finance, VISION: Family Spiritual Warfare, To inform, teach and train Food & Spices, Kitchen, people how to build a very Wedding, Women issues, strong, joyful and romantic Marriage Bedroom, family. Leadership, Success, Manhood, Youth, MISSION: Singleness, Pregnancy & Delivery and lots more, To be the number one family building and destiny remember, it is everything moulding magazine on the family. internet.

CONCEPT: Total Family V

CONTENT

FROM THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF FAMILY BOOSTER CREW ABOUT FAMILY BOOSTER MAGAZINE HOT ISSUES IN THE NEXT EDITION NEXT EDITION COVER BOOK OF THE MONTH FOR MARRIED COUPLES BOOKS OF THE MONTH FOR THE SINGLES VI

TOPE'S ALABI INTERVIEW

THE OFFICE OF 10 "THE WIFE" MONEY ISSUE: Practical ways to make money and enjoy it. 12 TEENS WORLD: There is more to you 15 FAMILY SPIRITUAL WARFARE: marriage and spiritual warfare 18 WEDDING: Marry in peace and not in debt 21 MEN'S ISSUES: 15 common mistakes married men make wit other women

CHILD SAFETY: Child Sexual Abuse (somebody maybe sleeping with your Child) 26

LIFE ISSUES: How to have a wedding with just N50,000

5 PEOPLE THAT YOU NEED IN MARRIAGE 76 40

FOOD SPICES: 5 surprising health benefits of black pepper 42 DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE 45 HEALTH ISSUES: 4 natural ways to combat Diabetes

HEALTH ISSUES: Natural ways to to protect your kidney from Damage 48 MARRIAGE INFO: Finding purpose in your marriage 55 COMMON MISTAKES IN LIFE

PARENTING: 17 mistakes Parents make with Adult Children 63

PARENTING: FOUR PRINCIPLES Understandong TO BOOST YOUR Children FAMILY FINANCE Metamorphosis 67 34 JAMES CLEAR PARENTING: 17 NEWS LETTER 37 things Successful Couples are doing. 69 LIFE ISSUES: Practical ways to MARRIAGE prepare well for LIFELINE: 42 38 retirement Ancient wisdom for a great marriage

PRACTICALS TO DISCUSS SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE HOT, SEXY & TANTALIZING WOMANHOOD: 105 ways to rekindle the fire of love in your Husband 79 MEN MATTERS: 105 ways to rekindle the love in your Wife 83

SINGLENESS: 14 kinds of lovers you must run away from 87

HELPLINE FOR SINGLES 90 HOME LIFELINE (for married Couples) 91 WOMANHOOD: Who is a Woman

FOOD AND SPICES: 17 wonders of Sea Salt you need to 94 know 4 MONEY MISTAKES AND HOW TO AVOID THEM

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HOT ISSUES IN THE NEXT EDITION Marriage info 71 HOT SECRETS FOR MARITAL SUCCESS

Family’’—- Doja Allen(MD CEO, CITY FM, Lagos)

Marriage issues 9 Things You Must Never Do To Your Marriage What lack of sleep will do to your health Pregnancy and Delivery 15 THINGS THINGS YOU MUST NOT DO IN PREGNANCY Marriage bedroom 50 REASONS TO HOT SEX IN YOUR MARRIAGE Motherhood 6 HOME REMEDIES THAT CAN MAKE YOU BECOME PREGNANT Relationship IDENTIFYING YELLOW CARDS IN A RELATIONSHIP Interview “My Job, My Wifehood, my

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JOIN US FOR

SEPTEMBER

MEGA MARRIAGE SUMMIT AT LAGOS AIRPORT HOTEL, IKEJA LAGOS.

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26TH SEPT, 2021 FACEBOOK: @PASTORBISIADEWALE INSTAGRAM: @BISIADEWALE TWITTER: @BISIADEWALE YOUTUBE: @BISIADEWALE

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BOOKS OF THE MONTH FOR MARRIED COUPLES

Romance your Way to a better Marriage relationship Click here to Download on Familabooks.com Click here to get it on Amazon

8 Desperate needs of your Husband

Practical ways to a very romantic Marriage Click here to Download on Familabooks.com Click here to get it on Amazon

8 Desperate needs of your wife

Click here to Download on Familabooks.com Click here to get it on Amazon

To get the Paper books call 08068312004

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BOOKS OF THE MONTH FOR THE SINGLES

Before you say I Do Click here to Download on Familabooks.com Click here to get it on Amazon

101 Foolish things Ladies must never do in life and Click here to Download on Familabooks.com Click here to get it on Amazon

Wisdom for choosing a Life Partner

Click here to Download on Familabooks.com Click here to get it on Amazon

Pure Courtship Click here to Download on Familabooks.com Click here to get it on Amazon

To get the Paper books call 08068312004 XIII

TOPE ALABI’S INTERVIEW Popular gospel singer, Tope Alabi, speaks with Family Booster Magazinein a no holds barred interview about her childhood, challenges, career, marriage, family, and other issues.

FBM: Can You Tell Us About Your Background?

While I was singing soundtracks for Yoruba movies, I had dreams wherein I saw myself preaching to large Tope Alabi: My name is gatherings. Tope Alabi, born into a I worked in a studio as a family of three children. soundtrack girl for a very Though my parents gave long time with the birth eleven times, the marketers at Idumota. It remaining eight came either as stillbirths or died was in that studio I met my husband. as babies. So their third born became the firstborn, I told him about the dreams I was having, and my birth was the seventh, but I became second born, he interpreted them for and the last child survived. me. We became close because he was always My elder brother is older enlightening and than me by about twelve counselling me before years. I’m older than my younger other things started coming up. brother by nine years. So you see the gap because of My husband was a member of the Apostolic Church. the several deaths? His father was one of the I was raised by Catholic youth pastors. I followed parents, Mr and Mrs Obayomi. I attended Queen him to his church, and I gave my life to Christ there. Apostle Primary School Although I had given my and Oba Academy life to Christ earlier, he said Memorial High School for it had to be done in the my secondary school church's way. education. I also have a After that, I started diploma in Mass receiving so many Communication. revelations about myself. Before I followed my I would see myself in a big husband to his church, I stadium filled with people. saw the revelation about I would see myself being the ministry. called to preach at large When I was a little child, gatherings. I didn’t see some people told my myself singing the way I parents that I would be a saw myself preaching. Minister of God. Based on I wondered where I would this, my parents thought I should go to the convent to see a large crowd as big as the ones I saw in my become a reverend dreams to preach to. sister. However, that was My husband who was my not God's plan for me. friend back then usually I have been a chorister told me not to worry. He since I was seven years encouraged me to be old at St. Seprain Catholic patient and wait on the Church. Lord.

When I was seven years old, I was in my house when some people came to our street. They said they were 'Aladuras'. When they came to our house, they called up every mother in the compound to ask for a female child. They said God wanted to use her, and she should be given a mark of survival. They also said hands should be laid on her and she should be given a ministerial mantle. There were three girls in the compound; I was the youngest of the three. We were presented to the 'Aladuras', and they picked me. I was just seven years old. They bathed me and poured anointing oil on me. They prayed and did all sorts of things. They told my mum she should take care of me. My mum told me she spent five days in labour before giving birth to me. On the day of my birth, the midwife on duty at the hospital told my father to go back home and check under his bed for an African plate. She said my mother won't give birth until the plate was removed from there. My father followed the midwife's instructions, and my mum gave birth to me safely. Also, my mum used to tell me there was something special about me. I am yet to know the special even today. When I was nine years old, the days of "Ali must go. 2

Obasanjo must die", my mum used to take about seven to nine children to Regina Mundi Catholic Church in Mushin from Mafoluku Oshodi where we lived. One morning, I told my mum to take only me to church. Because of how she gave birth to me and the dreams she had about me, she listened. After the church mass, a riot started. She had to throw me away to run somewhere for safety. After the riot began to calm down four hours later, a man found me. It was in the process of looking for my parents he found my mum. My mum said she was thankful for listening to me. You can only imagine what may have happened to the children if she took 9 children to church on that day.

FBM: How did you meet your husband? Tope Alabi: I met him in the studio. He

was a studio rat then (laughs). He worked, played, ate and did everything else in the studio. If you asked him, he would tell you he was a studio rat a long time ago (laugh).

FBM: How long have you been working together? Tope Alabi: We began working together in 1995. We began courting in 1998, and we got married two years later.

FBM: How about your children? Tope Alabi: I have three wonderful

FBM: Can you tell us how you started your ministry?

children. Two are biological, and one is adopted. The first one is currently in national service (NYSC), the second one is in Yabatech; he will be graduating soon. The third one is at Covenant University. Their names are Ayomiku, Boluwatife and Deborah.

Tope Alabi: I started the ministry in

2001. We released the first album in September 2001 (OORE TI O COMMON), and we (referring to herself and her husband) got married on November 16th, 2000. I had released two albums before then; the first in 1997 and the second in 1998. 3

FBM: How has your husband influenced you and your ministry? Tope Alabi: My husband

is a great inspiration to me. He led me to Jesus Christ, and he nurtured me. He has been an exceptional pillar in my life. God is the owner of this ministry, my husband is the ministry, and I am the microphone. (Laughs)

FBM: Can you explain further on this? Tope Alabi: (Laughs)

Okay. God called us; then he put the ministry into my husband’s hands. I am just a microphone. They put a battery into me, and I sing. When they (referring to God and her husband) don’t want to hear any song, they switch it off. That’s just it. When I am switched off, I am at home cooking in the kitchen. So, I see my husband as the ministry because he is the one who wakes us up; he is the one who tells us where to go; he is the one who takes the program. There are so many things he does in this ministry. That is why I called my husband the ministry.

FBM: How do you resolve conflict with your husband? Tope Alabi: The issues

we always have are some things I do while on stage.

If my husband is not happy with my performance, he looks at me in a certain way, and I understand what he means. When he looks at me with a frown, he is telling me "we will meet in the car". I don’t like my husband frowning while I'm on stage or pulpit. It brings down my spirit whenever he frowns. So I always fight him after the ministration if he frowns while I'm on stage. I will tell him I don’t like him frowning when I'm on stage. He tells me it is my mistakes that make him frown anytime I commit one. He usually asks me, "Do you want me to be laughing so you can continue the mistakes?"

God has been helping us. We do not let a quarrel last for over an hour. Even the Holy Spirit will trouble me if it lasts longer. We fight, just like any other couple, but not big fights. We settle our disputes like responsible adults and move on. Yesterday, my husband and I were talking about something, but I flared up. The Holy Spirit said He would deal with me if I go to bed without resolving the issue. So, I had to meet my husband to settle the matter. Before he agreed that I would sing songs as received by the Holy Spirit while on stage, hmmm…

we fought because of it. My husband said, "We

rehearsed songs for you FBM: How do you to sing on stage. But you balance work and sang another one, and you say an angel brought it to you... What is your problem?" I told him the angels brought a new song and pushed me to sing it. I even asked him if I should tell the angels to shut up and not collect it. We were able to resolve the issue. He told me to announce on stage my intention to sing a new song the next time I received songs from the angels. Doing that will inform him and the band. What I've discovered about Satan the devil is that he tends to be very smart. If you have a ministry but don’t have a good home, you won’t make heaven. I have understood this for a very long time. So we make sure there is no chance for conflict to stay in our home. That is what we have been practising; God has been helping us.

family life?

Tope Alabi: I still cook

it. I know that people get followers because they are fascinated by their work. While secular artists usually get large followings because they post pictures in their undies, or do comedies, gospel artists don’t have many followers because we are not comedians maybe. So if a gospel artist has about two million followers, most of the followers are seriousminded people. The unserious followers may have been serious some time in their lives. They may want to listen to Tope Alabi because they want to be blessed. Sometimes, people stumble on my works and realise that Tope Alabi has something to give them for what is going on in their lives at that time. They follow her and play her songs for God to come down or talk to them. They also anticipate posts that will benefit them.

in the house because my husband knows the taste of my food. He can detect if another person cooks his food, though he may not ask who did. I also wash his clothes except for the ones for outings; they go to the dry cleaners. He does other things for me too because we are helpmates. My husband doesn’t like shopping too much. Buying things can be very tedious for him. He usually sits somewhere to wait for me when we go shopping together. That is why I shop for him. He doesn’t buy things for himself. I do the buying; he does the paying. As for my children, we pray and gist together. I tell them things whenever I am around because I am always on the road working for God. They are grown-ups now; we bless FBM: Have you both God for their lives. FBM: What does your experienced We also thank God for ministry aim to say to challenges working Pastor Bisi Adewale because he counsels them, the public? together? talks to them and prays Tope Alabi: We have with them. We thank God different reasons why Tope Alabi: Not really. for his life and his family. people listen to Tope Alabi. Not at all. If I come to this To some, they want to be world again, I will still FBM: How did you happy. To some, because marry him again and again. cultivate a strong fan they want to think about The guy is making too base over the years? their lives. To some, much sense (laughs). because their goal is Tope Alabi: It is not our heaven. However, the job; we don't work on these reason I do what I do is for things. We just see it people to be blessed and coming, and we embrace make heaven their ultimate 5

goal.

FBM: How do you giving back to society? Tope Alabi: I run an

orphanage called Madi Brown Foundation. I go to orphanage homes and give them gifts. We usually do this during the Easter period. Aside from this, I do some quietly because I don’t want people to know about it. I also have some widows I give money, clothes and other things. I stopped people from living with me. Before now, ten people whose parents I didn’t know lived with me. Unfortunately, some stole my money, and others did very bad things, even though we prayed together. They made me cry, so I decided to send them away. Instead, I send them anything they need wherever they are. I also organise free concerts once or twice a year. I hold it at LTV 8 every February, with no gate fee. It will interest you to know that it costs about 7 - 8 Million Naira to organise the free concert. We also receive between 70 - 100 Thousand Naira only as offerings. I also do street praise concerts, but it has been put on hold for now due to the Covid-19 pandemic.

FBM: How do you handle Social Media, deal with criticism, rumours, etc.? Tope Alabi: Generally, social media is not where

someone will gather fans just like that. It is God who will guide you through. When an issue comes up on social media, I pray to God about it and follow his direction afterwards. If God tells me to say something, I obey Him. If God wants me not to say anything, I will keep quiet.

FBM: Who are your biggest influencers in society? Tope Alabi: Bishop David Olaniyi Oyedepo of Living

Faith Church AKA Winners Chapel is my influencer. I met him about 13 years ago, and I have not recovered from that encounter yet. I draw from his wisdom inspired by God. I listen to his messages almost every time. Anytime I have the opportunity to sit with him, it is always a special encounter. My family cannot recover from it. He attended my 50th birthday party. I cannot quantify this with anything else. I want to use this opportunity to say thank you, Daddy Oyedepo, for this great privilege given to me. It is a rare one that I will never take for granted in my life and that of my family. Thank you very much, sir. I also celebrate Baba Enoch Adeboye our Daddy G.O. He is my Father’s Father (Grandpa), and I love him so much. I appreciate and celebrate him. There is one man of God I love so much and cherish. I also appreciate Prophet Timothy Akande from Ori-Oke Ede.

In marriage and family life, it is Pastor Bisi Adewale. There are some things he will say, and I will laugh, laugh and laugh. If not for him, people would crucify Christians. When Pastor Bisi Adewale started bringing up some things, I said this is it! It is not only secular people that can enjoy their marriage; Christians can too. Before now, many Christians were having problems in their marriages. But when Pastor Bisi and his wife focused on this issue, things have been changing. We’ve known each other for about 20 years now. We met at Badagry for the first time; they are lovely people. His wife is a shy person to me oh! (smiles). I see it anytime I look at her. I love them so much, not because they are the owners of Family Booster Magazine, but because they are also the counsellors to my children.

as I spoke to her on the phone. She told me God had informed her that I was kneeling while talking to her on phone. I was surprised and even asked her how she knew. She prayed for me. I never joke with her. I might not be singing like the way she sings because I don’t want to. I want to use the glory that God has given me. God has blessed Mama Bola Are with her glory too. God cannot give two people one particular glory. He has it in-store, and He gives to people as He pleases. I look up to her every time. Demos Deniran, Bayo Adegboyega, and Lakin Ladeyibo of blessed memory are my influencers too. I look up to them. I love them so much, and I celebrate them.

FBM: Apart from the gospel musicians you mentioned, do you have any other gospel musicians you listen to?

FBM: Who are your biggest influencers in Tope Alabi: I listen to the music industry? Shola Alyson, Nathaniel Tope Alabi: I look up to

Baba Ayewa and Mama Bola Are. I respect and love Mama so much. 14 years ago, I travelled to America for the first time. She got to know I was there and she called me from Nigeria. She wanted me to minister in a church in New Jersey. Because she is a Woman of God, I knelt

Bassey, Eben, and so many others. I learned Adlib from Shola Alyson whenever she sings. That was about 16 years ago. I just listened to her new song; I love her.

FBM: What is your advice for young couples in the ministry?

Tope Alabi: My advice

for them is to stay focused in the ministry and not to leave their homes behind. They should be lovers of each other and not leave their homes behind because of the ministry. If a person is called to the ministry, he or she should not marry anyone who does not understand the vision. However, they should marry someone who fears God and knows the kind of ministry that God has called him or her to do. Keeping their ministry and home must go together.

FBM: Any words for your fans and lovers? Tope Alabi: I love you

all oh! If you are listening to my songs but you don’t remember that Heaven is home, a big sorry for you Oh!. When you listen to my music, remember that in every album we have released, there will be something to take home; there will be something to remember about the Kingdom of God. Even Yes and Amen is saying "eni ti o ni o ko ni nkan kan" (anyone that does not have God does not have anything) before we go to the last body that says "eni ti o ri mi ko ri nkan kan. The first, second and third body was talking about God and his kingdom. The last one that was talking about where we came from is "eni 7

ti o ri mi ko ri nnkan kan" that last body was talking about where we are coming from. It is only people who understand things of the spirit that will understand. So my fans out there, I want to celebrate you and give you kudos. The Lord bless you. I love you all, thank you so much. Please, if you listen to my albums but you have not given your life to Christ, You are in a sorry case. Please bear in mind that you need Jesus Christ. Someday somehow, you will leave this planet earth; you will die. Where will you spend your eternity? I leave you with this.

The office of THE WIFE is not an ordination to end the life of the woman and plunge her into pain.

THE OFFICE OF “THE WIFE” By Ocholi Okutepa

Indeed, the office of WIFE was not designed by God to be an endless endurance journey. Certainly, we have got it wrong when we mostly refer to how “Our Mothers remained married DESPITE...” whatever they went through in the hands of “Our Fathers.” Submission as mostly taught by these commentators is very far from what God’s idea about it is. Indeed, many of them teach outright abuse and cloth it with a religious apron of “submission.” I teach submission. It is biblical. I wish we spent that much effort telling men to “Love their Wives as Christ Loved the Church” when He didn’t judge her sin but “Died for her while she was an unrepentant sinner!” I only wish. So, while I teach long-suffering and all the ‘hard on the flesh’ principles of 1 Corinthians 13, I teach it to both men and women and not as a final answer to women only, especially when 10

wenduring what a woman was not in God’s design made for. Yes, I also do not support those who at the slightest provocation tell the woman (or even the man) to pack out. Extremity never produces balanced results. Many of these people do not study to show themselves approved in God’s word to rightly divide it. Marriage will have storms that you will navigate, plenty of them. Many of the cases of “I am done” were not cases where people should be done if they were properly guided, counseled and helped.

wickedness!

Can we talk about genuine repentance of So, can we call out abusive erring men and not and narcissistic men for smarter men who get away what they are (sadly, if I with any and everything were writing in the reverse, while expecting the many women too do this). woman to play God and have the endurance of the Can we admit that not all Holy Spirit? cases are such that sitting there and taking it is You see that woman in this normal? post and women like her, married off by men like Can we discuss me? They should be happy constructive separation and looking forward to life (unto counsel, prayer, faith daily and not sadly and hope of restoration?). hoping for the end to come in death or whatever way the pain stops

Back to the focus of this very piece. The Wife God conceptualized was supposed to be crowning glory of the man. Loved so lavishly it shows. Led so well she follows without more. Taught with depth, she catches up to the vision God gives Her Adam and runs with it. There is nothing in the original brief as per Genesis 2 that suggested that her primarily role was enduring the dysfunction of a man whose weaknesses have been so excused it is now

PRACTICAL WAYS TO MAKE MONEY MONEY ISSUES

1. Be a Thinker: You can’t make money with a passive brain. Be a thinker, stir up your mind, think great thoughts. Money making starts in the mind, not on the field. You can’t have financial rest at home if you allow your mind to remain shut down. 2. Commit your ways into the hands of the Lord. Let God be in charge of all your efforts. Don’t go into any venture without God. He knows the beginning from the end and can make you a success. 3. Bring out new ideas. Don’t just take action; think of how to do new things. Bring out new ideas, new products, new services, do something new for a better If you have nothing to sell, result. 4. Meet a need. Check the you cannot excel. Cultivate a skill, and it will needs of people around pay you over and over again. and meet them. People are ready to pay anyone who Richard Templar meets them. Make The only place to start is where you are. John Mason. yourself a superstar by Hard work is the answer to a meeting needs. 5. Use your gift. There is hard life. David Oyedepo Every day comes bearing its something in you that can gifts, untie the ribbons. Ruth be turned into money. Don’t allow your Schabacker gift to remain dormant. The rich usually have Make good use of it. If you several money-making can dance, sing, write, schemes working for them. jump, run, draw, etc., that Richard Templar may be your hidden source of income. Don’t allow it to be wasted.

PRACTICAL WAYS TO MAKE MONEY AND ENJOY IT WORDS OF WISDOM:

6. There is work if there is no job. Don’t wait for a white-collar job, do something. There may be no job, but work is always available. Think of what you can do. Look for a problem you can solve and the needs you can meet. Bring in what is scarce, introduce what is missing, people will pay for it. 7. Work hard. Be diligent, don’t ever be lazy. Hard work is the answer to a hard life. Prosperity is for a hard worker; poverty is for the lazy and the sleepers. Hard work does not kill; it improves skills. A hard worker is a king in the making. You can’t amount to something in life if sleeping is your hobby. If you must stand and sit with great men, you must stand tall to do great work. Money does not obey a wishful thinker; it only obeys principles. Whoever works according to its rule, will flow to the person irrespective of his age, sex, colour, size, location, country or nationality. You can’t be lazy and turn things around. No, you can’t be fond of tying a towel around your waist by 10:00 am on Monday and amount to anything in life. If you sleep when you are 12

supposed to be working, you will beg when you are supposed to be a giver. 8. Develop Yourself. For money to flow to you, you must get yourself developed. Nobody will pay you “PhD” money if you have an “O-level” brain and skill. Self-development is the power of money; you can never be better than how far you are ready to get yourself developed. Nobody can develop you for you. Self-effort is the biggest effort. You can’t grow taller than your head, and you can’t be better than how available you are to learning. Do you want money to flow to you? Do you want your family to live in prosperity? Do you want to make more money? This is simple. Just develop yourself. Know better than you knew last year. Be a better you, a new and improved edition of your personality. You can’t rise higher than you know.

9. Package yourself and your product. The way you present yourself or and your product will determine how far you will

go in life. You may be good, you may be able to do the job better, your product may be the best and the most reliable, if they are not well presented you will be working against yourself as it will be rejected or ignored. Your curriculum vitae (CV) must be well presented in a modernized way. You must go to that job interview well dressed and with boldness. Why will you go to that interview fidgeting, people that will interview you are humans they are not ghosts. Face them with boldness and get the job for them, your boldness and confidence at job interviews are part of your packaging for a new level. 10. Have something to sell. I told you that if you don’t have anything to sell, you cannot excel. Yes, you must have something to sell; you must have a product;

productivity is the mother of prosperity. Your voice can be your product, ability, knowledge, dexterity and strength. They can all be turned into a product. What are you doing with your skill? Yes, your cooking skills, footballing skills? Do something about them, turn them into your products and become a great person.

11. Market your product. Take your product to the place where it is needed. Don’t keep it in your house; take it out, show people what you are, what you have and what you can do; the market will never come to you, but do yourself a favour; go to the market. Your success is not in your comfort zone. Take your product to the people that need it. Don’t take those beautiful walking sticks to the university for sale; take them to old people who need them. Don’t take that delicious ice cream to old people’s homes, take it to that secondary school very close to your house. No woman will buy that shaving powder from you, but you can take those wigs, shoes and bags to that girls’ hostel. You are likely going to end as a star with it. 12. Advertise yourself and your product. Without advertisement and publicity, there is nothing called business or selling activities. If your product is not for your consumption only, then advertise it. It is an advertisement that brings customers; it is customers that bring money. It is advertising that keeps business floating. It is your business and your product that keeps your family finance alive. 14

TEENS WORLD

THERE IS MORE TO YOU

Hi dear teenagers! My name is Damilola Mayowa OWOLABI. I am a LIFE/TEENS COACH, and I’m so happy to be your teen columnist on this great magazine. Come on the ride with me as we journey through different topics centred on teens/youth matters from relationships, academics, spiritual matters, self-esteem, life, sexual abuse, rape, masturbation, depression, love life, relationship with parents, etc. Trust me; we are on a ride to greatness together. So you don’t want to miss any of these periodic magazine columns. So, today as seen above I will be talking

about THERE IS MORE TO YOU. Let me guess the thought running through your mind why is there more to me? There is more to you because you are created and destined for a purpose. Your existence is not a mistake. In fact, what is ahead of you is greater than what you can imagine. It is greater than what your present status is. How do I know this? I know because it was confirmed to me in the book of Jeremiah 29:11(NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 15

me in the book of Jeremiah 29:11(NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. When I was ten years old, I lived with my aunt because my parents had financial crises. That was the beginning of unplanned circumstances that shattered my life for many years. Firstly, I was raped by my cousin at the age of 10. When I voiced out, no one believed me. In fact, my parents did not believe me too. I left my aunt’s place back to my parents, but my father disowned me and said I was a disgrace to the family. So I had to move to a video club opposite my house then. I sold ice water and washed people’s legs at Agege in Lagos so I could go to school and feed myself. I desperately looked for all means to buy back my parents love, but I ended up believing the lie of someone who told me he could make me a virgin again. To cut the long story short, he raped me. When I tried to voice out, he blackmailed me. I was locked up at the police station for three days with nobody to bail me out. After this saga was over, I thought that was all. I never knew that was just

the beginning of more bad scenarios. I ended up being sexually abused by eight people just because I was looking for love I could not find at home. Hmmm, let me pause here. I will be sharing with you more reasons why I found myself in the continuous mess of sexual abuse in my subsequent column. The reason for sharing my story with you is to let you know I am not where I used to be. I don’t even look like where I’m coming from or what I have passed through. At some point in my life, I gave in to the devil because my eyes were not open to the light of God’s word that But guess what? As soon as I came across Jeremiah 29:11, my eyes were opened. I understood that God had already drawn a positive plan for my life. I didn’t have to live in guilt continuously. My freedom and victory started from shame and condemnation. God is using my previous mess to help many people today. My tests and trials have become my testimony. There might be issues you are going through right now, and it may seem the whole world is scrambling down on you. I want you to know that God has got your back. • In life, you will never have everybody to like you. Some will like you; some

will hate you. It’s part of life experience. Don’t let it get to you because there is more to you. • Don’t crucify yourself because you are always getting it wrong. Just try again and don’t give up. Remember, there is more to you. • You don’t pray to have obstacles; you pray to have miracles to overcome the obstacles. But during those times you are facing that obstacle, don’t give up. Remember, there is more to you. • You can be active in church and not be active with God. The pressure of friends and sin can make you far from God. • Make the necessary correction by turning back to God and depending on Him alone. He has prepared you to be more than what you are right now. • You can change this world if you stop hating yourself and the situation you are in right now. You can start believing more in yourself with the understanding of God’s word to you that the plan He has for you is of good not of evil to give you an expected end. Most importantly, there is more to you. Just like I am changing my 16

world right now, the world awaits the manifestation of your greatness. It is time to start changing your world and make God proud. • Finally; Never allow anything to make you forget your place of intimacy with God. You need to know Christ personally. To enjoy the benefit of this more than is to you, first, give your life to Christ so you can enjoy this covenant we have been discussing. If you are reading this and you want to make up your mind right now to give your life to Jesus, who can bring out the more in you, place your right hand on your chest and make this confession right now Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank you for accepting me into your kingdom in Jesus name I pray. Congratulations! Heaven is rejoicing right now for your sake. Please look for a bible believing church close to you so you can keep growing spiritually. In case you have any questions on this topic or

more, please send me an email: damilolaoyekola@ gmail.com Also follow me on all my social media pages Facebook: damilola oyekola owolabi Instagram: damilolaowolabi1 Youtube: Damilola Mayowa Owolabi

Damilola Mayowa Owolabi 17

FAMILY SPIRITUAL WARFARE

MARRIAGE & SPIRITUAL WARFARE

By Pastor Peace Akingunsoye

WHY PRAYER IS ESSENTIAL IN EVERY STAGE OF MARRIAGE

prayer and spiritual warfare are needed at the following stages of marriage: 1. From The Womb: Though at this stage, the parent is involved. It is a good thing to commit the future marital destiny of children to the hands of God 2. From Childhood: This is also important. It is more beneficial when they are rightly oriented on the need for this. Therefore, engage them to commit their future marital destiny into the hands of God 3. As Teens: This is a good awareness stage. The prayer consciousness should be put in place. Note that the earlier, the better. My Personal Experience I got myself involved in praying and committing my future marital life as a teenager by praying that God should choose for me, favour me and guide me into joyful and fulfilled marital life. I want to say categorically that the prayer worked. 4. As Youths: Waiting for the actual year or month that one wants to marry is not always the best. Praying to God to go ahead to make the crooked way straight and remove any gate of brass and bars of iron (Isaiah 43:2) will make things better. They will be delivered from the manipulations of darkness into marital error.

”For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6:12(KJV) The word of God makes it clear that 18

5. At The Point of Marriage: praying at this point is very crucial. This is the level that divine intervention is seriously needed. You need to pray very well at this point. You also need the prayer support of trusted friends, parents (in the Lord and biological parents who are born again). Avoid prayer consultation to false prophets and seers who can mislead you. Sometimes, they ask people to write the names of prospective suitors. They will also ask for their pictures to pray for them without asking questions about their background. They don’t make a thorough inquiry to know if the person is born again. Compatible in blood group/genotype and other vital areas. As you pray at this stage, don’t deceive yourself. Let all your revelations and dreams be based on the word of God. Seek counselling from a matured Christian who can be your pastor, counsellor, and mentor. 6. After Marriage: Every stage of the marriage requires prayers. There are some of the issues to be handled physically and spiritually by thorough spiritual warfare. Some of The areas that require

prayers after marriage are: • The unity of the marriage • The fruitfulness of the marriage • Commit all the endeavours in the marriage into the Hands of God. • The health and wealth of everyone in the marriage • Breaking foundational yokes of evil family patterns of yourself and your partner. • Praying against storms, crises, and evil arrows of all sorts. • Committing every Lord; and he shall give thee challenge into the hands of the desires of thine heart. God. Etc. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and Prayers at this stage could he shall bring it to pass. be personal and corporate. Psalm 37:4-5 (KJV) Involving your husband or The spiritual and physical wife in a situation where significance of spiritual he or she is a child of God warfare in marriage can is very important. never be overemphasized for the following reasons: 7. At Old Age: At this stage, • It secures divine likely both couples are no presence. longer alive. • It terminates Children, grandchildren manipulations and attacks. and great-grandchildren • It breaks the yoke of are now in place. This is marital error. the period that prayers are • It reveals the will of God. essentially needed for • It makes one victorious sustenance and against anti-marriage perseveration of what has forces of darkness. been achieved. Prayers at • It brings restoration to this stage will cover the estranged partners. past, present and after • It renders the plan of the death. enemy useless. • It makes a way where BENEFITS OF PRAYERS there seems to be no way. (SPIRITUAL WARFARE) IN • It brings about prosperity, MARRIAGE fruitfulness and the Delight thyself also in the 19

blessings of God. • It is one of the major valid ways of getting the best from God and solutions to challenges in marriage.

name. • Ask God to take over every stage of your marital life and deliver you from every work of darkness in Jesus name. Call unto me, and I will • Pray that God will break answer thee, and shew thee every yoke of evil family great and mighty things, patterns, evil covenants, which thou knowest not. curses, and satanic Jeremiah 33:3(KJV) bondage in Jesus name. • Pray for the favour, LET US PRAY mercy, blessings and • Appreciate and thank God presence of God in your for opening your eyes to marital life (single or the benefit of prayer. Pray married). that He will intervene in • Ask God for what you every area of your life, in want Him to do in your life, Jesus name. in particular your marital • Ask God to forgive you of life, that His will shall be any sin and iniquity from done, not your will nor the past till now. That can the will of satan, in Jesus hinder your prayers and name. open doors to attacks from Pastor Peace Akingunsoye the enemy. (Repent and Senior Pastor confess your sins). Calvary Freedom Apostolic • Ask God to empower you Ministry(CAFAM) with the spirits of prayer Lagos, Nigeria and holiness in Jesus amospeace@yahoo.com 20

WEDDING

MARRY IN PEACE, NOT IN DEBT

(WEDDING GLAMOUR Vs FINANCIAL PRESSURE) By Yomi Bisi-Adewale Instagram @yomi_bisiadewale

edding glamour lasts for a few hours; it may not even be the whole day. Why would you incur huge debt to impress anyone or imitate a friend’s wedding ceremony you attended? Why would you put your new home under unnecessary and undue financial pressure afterwards? Yeah, it’s the dream of every single out there especially ladies to have a glorious and glamorous wedding ceremony. However, it is wise to spend judiciously, especially when you have to source funds yourself. You have no rich/wealthy

have come from a humble background, not a problem and not your fault, but it is the act of God and some other factors that are beyond you. Accept this reality and joyfully live your life with whatever resources God has graciously given you and your fiancee. Never think until you borrow to buy expensive dresses. Engage top-notch professionals and embark on high-priced stuff for the glamour of the day before your wedding can be glorious. These are all good, but if you don’t have them, don’t push the guy into debt. Always 21

remember and look forward to better days in marriage. Huge debt will give you mental, emotional and financial stress later. Be wise. If you can’t afford it now, then let it be. Begin to work hard and work smart. Keep trusting God for your financial rest, then you can afford it later and even sponsor others tomorrow. Even if family and people are willing to sponsor your wedding, remember they may not be there to pay your bills in marriage. Where they can empower you financially instead, embrace the option and reserve some funds. What makes marriage glorious is not the huge debt incurred to achieve a glamorous wedding day. “There is a treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise, but a foolish man spendeth it up.” Proverbs 21:20 “House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Proverbs 19:14

MEN ISSUES

15 COMMON MISTAKES MARRIED MEN MAKE WITH OTHER WOMEN By Yomi Adewale

t’s time to check the attitudes that initiate both planned and unplanned illicit relationships with the opposite sex, which could be a single lady or a married woman. Don’t say, “They are the ones seducing me.” Joseph was seduced by Portipah’s wife but he didn’t fall for it. You can learn a lot from this account in Genesis 39. I will highlight some of these errors men should avoid and stop if they are already involved: 1. No healthy boundaries set with the opposite sex will give room for unusual affinity. When you hug, gist, touch and even say some rotten things anyhow and anywhere, it passes wrong signals to the lady even when you do not see it that way. She may misconstrue it for your interest in her. 2. When a man does not fear God and His words, which can remind and checkmate him about God’s wrath. So, he is bound to live in errors and get involved in lots of atrocities and immoralities. 3. When the godly identity is lost, and value is compromised. What a man knows he’s wrong but claims to be a child of God. He keeps moving in the wrong direction without seeking help. 4. Secret fantasy and admiration with open evidence to the opposite sex. When you are lusting after the opposite sex, and everything you do with her, including your facial expressions and actions, are reflective of your hidden fantasy, she may be getting the wrong signal. 23

5. Lack of discipline and self-control. Some men glorify their weaknesses as if they can’t control their sexual desires and appetite. So, they lack discipline and self-control. They go for anything in skirts without thinking about the consequences.

marriage. So, you want to bridge the gap for her? It will backfire!

meet in places that could encourage illicit affairs.

13. Over-confidence in 10. Uncontrollable yourself that nothing can emotional attachment to happen even if you see the the opposite sex for nakedness of the whatever reason. When opposite sex or living, counselling the opposite eating carelessly. When sex in a challenge, you boasting in the flesh and don’t shoulder counsel your ability, you may not 6. Getting involved with by touching anyhow, and be able to escape the trap. wrong associations and getting emotional without And if you live carelessly friends who see control. You can show and eat anyhow, love extramarital affairs as a empathy, but you are not portion can be put in the norm. There is no way you God or the Holy Spirit. food, and you start would surround Don’t allow the devil to misbehaving in the yourself with such people take advantage of your high process. Watch and pray, and wouldn’t join them emotions to get you. trust in God and flee from sooner or later. “But whoso committeth all appearances of evil. adultery with a woman 7. Giving undue attention lacketh understanding: he 14. When you are hooked and care to the opposite that doeth it destroyeth his on pornography, drugs sex instead of your wife. own soul. A wound and and alcohol. When you are The lady is so close to you dishonour shall he get, and polluted with content that and discusses sensitive his reproach shall not be is lust-prone, you will be matters with you. Check wiped away.” Proverbs looking for ways to express it, there is emotional in6:32-33 KJV the excesses. Even your fidelity springing up and 11. Pretence about your wife will not be able to will soon metamorphose to marital status. When you satisfy you because your illicit sex. hide your marital status demands will be too high from a lady, whereby, for her to match up. 8. Spending lavishly on the confusing her from opposite sex but being knowing the truth for her 15. Lack of intimacy bestingy at home. You use honest decision. She sees tween you and your wife. your hard-earned money so much love and care, You are not bonding and and family resources on then begins to see husband relating as friends. You the opposite sex without material in you. Let singles have allowed the erosion of thinking. She will want around you know that you love and the gap between more to pay her bills and are married. Be proud of you to be so wide. You have tie you down. Be wise. your spouse and be happy not learnt to accept your with your marriage. wife and be contented. You 9. Excessive checking up lack commitment in your on the opposite sex 12. Uncheck chatting till marriage which the because you feel she is ungodly hour and meeting opposite sex is sees as lonely, unmarried or needs in secluded places with the loopholes. You even some emotional support opposite sex. You chat and compare and tell someone for issues happening in her call even till late hours. You out there that you wished 24

to have known the other woman and married her before you met your wife. The truth is that she is only packaging herself for you, the real her is not yet known. If you are married to her, she will do worse things. So thinking that lady is better than your wife is an error. Run for your dear life! “For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life.” Proverbs 6:26 If you are already hooked in an illicit relationship, you need genuine repentance, urgent help and liberation immediately

CHILD SAFETY

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

– SOMEBODY MAY BE SLEEPING WITH YOUR LITTLE CHILD By Christianah Akindolie 26

hild Sexual Abuse is a silent epidemic gradually eating deep into our society. Unfortunately, people hardly discuss it because of our culture and fear of stigmatization. Our children are sexually abused secretly even by the people they love and depend on, leading to long term emotional and psychological effects on vulnerable children. Many parents and guardians lack sufficient information for the prevention of this social canker. While at work, the lives of our lovely children are entrusted into the hands of relatives, home tutors, swimming instructors, domestic staff and family friends who at one point or the other secretly abuse them. No parent would want to experience this epidemic whose impacts remain permanent in the lives of victims.

innocent five-year-old girl looking forward to a beautiful holiday with my lovely grandma. One day she left me with the gateman – Baba “I will soon be back”, Grandma said to me. “Baba, please take care of her; I will not stay long outside. I returned to the corridor of my grandma’s three-bedroom bungalow, playing with Betty, my doll. Little did I know that trouble was lurking around the corner. Baba called, and I ran to his small room at the gatehouse, leaving Betty on the floor. Then he pulled my pants down. I could not remember what Baba did, but it was very painful. Then he said in Pidgin English, “No tell Mama o, I go kill you if you tell am”. I nodded. How happy I was to see grandma back. I sobbed. She thought I was hungry. “Oh dear, you must be very hungry, I bought some biscuits and orange juice for you”, she said. Oh, how I wanted to tell her that I was not hungry. Rather, how Baba caused I recently had a talk with me pain. some teenage girls in a A week later, grandma boarding school; let me had to leave me with Baba share with you a pathetic again. true-life story of one of I begged to go with her, but them who at the age of five, she declined and left experienced child sexual without me. Baba did it abuse. again. This time it was Eight years ago, I was an more painful. He did it

A TRUELIFE STORY

three times before my mum came for me. When I returned home, Mum noticed that I was not eating well. “My dear daughter, are you missing grandma’s cooking”? She asked. I could not just tell my mum about what Baba did, not when I thought of his death threat. Now I am thirteen years old. Eight years later, I still feel the pain in my heart. I hardly socialize. Sometimes I still experience nightmares, and Baba’s image keeps appearing in my imagination. I heard Baba, the gateman, died two years ago. Leaving behind the memory of his torture in my heart”. This is one true story out of thousands of children sexually abused in our society. I had the privilege of counselling this teenager, and guess what? She broke the silence after eight years of emotional torture! You can imagine how children are going through this without getting help.

FACTS ABOUT CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE • World Health Organization Research has shown that one out of every three girls and one 27

out of every six boys will have experienced one form of sexual abuse before attaining the age of eighteen.

WHAT IS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE? uses a child for sexual

• In 1999, World Health Organization (WHO) declared Child Sexual Abuse a PUBLIC HEALTH EPIDEMIC.

Child Sexual Abuse is the involvement of a child in any sexual activity that he or she does not fully comprehend and is unable to give informed consent to. It is also any sexual activity a child is not developmentally prepared for and cannot give consent. It is a form of abuse in which an adult, a teenager or an older child

• In 2004, WHO declared Child Sexual Abuse as a major factor fuelling HIV/ AIDS and therefore declared it a SILENT EPIDEMIC.

stimulation to satisfy sexual lust. There are two categories of Child Sexual Abuse: 1. Physical Contact (Touch): This involves an adult touching or fondling a child’s private body parts such as the genital areas, laps, buttocks, etc. It also takes place when an adult forces a child to touch or fondle his or her genital area. Physical contact involves fingering a child’s private body part to get sexual satisfaction. Fingering could be in the form of using an object or a finger. When an adult rapes or forcefully has sexual intercourse with a child, child sexual abuse has taken place. 2. Non-Physical Contact (Non-touch): Nonphysical contact, as the name depicts, does not involve touching. This is what makes child sexual abuse a silent/hidden epidemic. Many children have been abused through this means without the knowledge of their parents. The non-touch contact involves an adult forcing a child to expose his/her private body parts. When an adult also exposes his/ her private body parts to a child, child sexual abuse 28

has occurred. Voyeurism or “Peeping Tom” is an act of peeping to see the nakedness of a child with or without his/ her knowledge. For example, peeping through the door hole of a bathroom to watch a child having a bath. Exposing a child to sexual materials such as magazines, watching “blue films” or X-rated movies, pornographic pictures, etc., are all sexual abuse. Taking the picture of a child naked i.e. child pornography is also a nontouch form of child sexual abuse. It also takes place when an adult or an older adolescent “flashes” genitals at a child. Incest takes place when a blood relative (parent, siblings, cousin, nephew, aunty etc.) has sexual intercourse with a child.

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSERS

Research showed that over 90% of sexual abusers are familiar people that we entrust our children to. Children look up to them for protection. Sexual abusers could male or female of any age, different socioeconomic groups, ethnic classes, educated or illiterate, employed or unemployed, rich or poor. Unfortunately, it doesn’t show on the face! Adults who take delight in sexually abusing children are called paedophiles. Let us see a graphical analysis of child sexual abusers: • 30% relatives – siblings, fathers, mothers, stepfathers and mothers, uncles, cousins, nephews, aunties and other blood relatives. • 60% - friends of the family, nanny, neighbours, gateman, driver, gardener, home tutor, swimming instructor, school teacher, the clergy, etc. • 10% - strangers.

WARNING SIGNS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

Often there are no clear external signs of child sexual abuse. But some signs can only be detected on physical examination by a physician. Although not all these signs could necessarily indicate that a child has been sexually abused, they may help adults/parents recognize that something is wrong with their child. The possibility of abuse should be investigated if a child shows a number of these physical, behavioural or psychological signs. Physical Signs • Difficulty in walking or sitting. • Feeling pain during urination or bowel movement. • Vaginal tears • Medical problems such as chronic itching, pain in the genitals, venereal diseases, HIV/AIDS • Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) • Nightmares – waking up at night sweating, screaming or shaking. • Baby removing pampers and inserting a finger into the private body part. • Resuming bedwetting • Signs of blood, bruises on the laps, breast, etc. • Teenage pregnancy

Behavioural or Psychological Signs • Showing aggressive behaviour toward family members, teachers, friends etc. • Always isolated and withdrawn. • Depressed and lonely • Loss of appetite (Insomnia) or compulsive eating. • Showing unusual fear of a certain place or location, especially when a child says, “Mum, I don’t want to go there anymore”. • When a child is scared of being left alone and the child says, “Please do not go without me”. • Having unexplained periods of panic, which may be flashbacks from the abuse. • Indicating a sudden reluctance to be alone with certain persons. When a child says, “I don’t want to stay with him anymore”. • Withdrawing from previously enjoyable activities, school performance changes and lack of concentration. • Asking unusual questions about human sexuality. • When a child does not want to change clothes in front of others. • Runs away from home. • Suddenly drawing sexually explicit pictures. • Being too affectionate for the child’s age. • Engaging in persistent

sexual play with friends, toys or pets. • Self-mutilations, such as sticking themselves with pins or cutting themselves.

EFFECTS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE If a sexually abused child does not undergo proper counselling and rehabilitation, he or she will likely experience short and long term effects of child sexual abuse. The impacts can be overwhelming and long-lasting. Since children are offended by someone they should be able to trust and depend on, they may not comprehend the fact that the abuse was wrong and not their fault. Sexually abused children usually feel that something is wrong with them and that the abuse was their fault. Parents tend to disbelieve when their children tell them of abuses, and this can be devastating. Consequently, these victims may feel embarrassed, isolated, guilty, shameful, and powerless. The effects of sexual abuse are powerful and will reflect later in life. Immediate Effects of Child Sexual Abuse The victim’s initial

response to sexual abuse is usually horror and disbelief. This may be followed by fear, maybe due to the threat of the sexual offender. Sexual abuse may or may not result in physical injury. He or she feels dirty both internally and externally, which could affect the self-image and self-esteem of the victim. The victim of sexual abuse may become confused, frightened and depressed, which may last for a very long time. A child victim may become withdrawn and isolated, overwhelmed by guilt and shame. Long-Term Effects of Child Sexual Abuse For long term effects, victims of sexual abuse may develop symptoms of stress disorders. For children, the guilt, fear, shame, and anger brought on by sexual abuse, if not attended, can last into adulthood. Other effects include chronic anxiety, low self-esteem, and problems with intimacy and sexuality. Some victims may develop hatred for the opposite sex. Victims may become severely depressed and suicidal. They may suffer from alcohol or drug abuse. Many victims also experience marital and family challenges. Other effects include sleeplessness (insomnia), 30

social isolation, and relationship problems such as inability to trust, poor social skills or reluctance to disclose details about themselves. They also experience sexual difficulties such as fear of sex or intimacy, frigidity, indiscriminate multiple sex partners or difficulty in reaching orgasm. Some victims may even become promiscuous or homosexuals as they grow into adulthood.

HOW TO PROTECT CHILDREN FROM SEXUAL ABUSE Prevention is better than cure. Parents do not have to wait until the deed is done before looking for preventive measures. Every child is at risk of being sexually abused. Sexual abuse in children is a crime that can be prevented.

children about the dangers that exist in sexual abuse. Some people are worried that information about child sexual abuse can scare children. Though it can be a scary Educate Your Child topic, so is drowning, burning or being knocked down by Knowledge is power. In our a car. Other people are concerned that this information day to day lives, we may undermine a child’s innocence, but nothing educate our children about undermines a child’s inexperience like the experience the danger of fire, of sexual abuse. Besides, most children are taught not to electricity, snakes, cars, talk to strangers because they can be harmed, but some crossing the road, social known family members can harm your child. Most etiquette, respect for children are not assaulted by strangers but by people elders, using the seat belt known and trusted both by the children and their etc. Unfortunately, we parents. We do not want to teach children that they hesitate to enlighten our 31

cannot trust any adult because most adults are not probable sex offenders. But we need to teach them to be familiar with the danger signs and emphasize children’s strengths and abilities in reacting to unsafe situations. Teach Your Child the Proper Names Of Body Parts/Sex Education Even as adults, we prefer giving some parts of our body pet names such as “private part”, “down there”, “the part where swimming suits cover”. There is nothing wrong with teaching our children the proper names for their body parts. When you teach children the proper names for their body parts, they are better equipped to voice what is happening to them should someone offensively touch them. If a child uses proper names, everybody will be in a position to know exactly what they are referring to and minimize the likelihood of misunderstanding. In fact, experts advise that parents should commence teaching their children sex education from age three. From my experience, many parents do not even know what to say to their children. I’ll advise that you get books and other materials that will give you more information on sex education. If you don’t

teach them, someone else will, which may definitely be the wrong information.

are normally taught not to say NO to an adult as this depicts disrespect. Sexual abusers Teach Your Child generally take advantage Defensive Skills of this to perpetrate their Parents have to teach their plans. Teach your children children that their body that they have the right to belongs to them! They have say “NO” when someone a right to decide what they touches their private body do with their body, who parts. Tell children to trust touches them and to their feelings and if they identify and report are not comfortable, it’s inappropriate touches. okay to say “NO”. Let your Teach your children to children know that it is not value their bodies and to appropriate to keep respect other peoples secrets! If an adult touches bodies. Adults should a child in the wrong places, respect children’s wishes. that should not be a secret. Let them know that no one The child has to tell. has the right to touch them without their permission. Communication Do not force your child to It is very important to keep hug or kiss any relative if open communication with he or she doesn’t want to. your children. This way, Allow them to reject such they will know that they gestures politely. are free to discuss anything Children must know that it with their parents. Your is not right if anyone forces relationship with your them to touch his or her children must be positive. private body part. They You have to be a 21st must say “NO” to whoever Century parent, or else you gives them a sexual touch. will be left behind. Keep Children should tell the your “doors” always open person “I don’t like it” and for children to come in. the touching must stop Apart from immediately. If the person communication, you will continues, they should call need to spend quality time for help and get away from with them. We live in a such persons. Children can society where work and scream for help and not be money is the focus. punished. They must get Parents have to decide help, tell a trusted adult to make their family first and never stay alone with in their lives. Make your that person again. family a priority no matter what. Always pay good Teach Them To Say “No” attention to your children. In our culture, children Finally, let me assure you 32

that the best way to prevent child sexual abuse is to spend time and pay attention to the day to day lives of your children. The only reason why child abuse is alive today is that we as adults fail our children when we fail to listen to them. Listen to a child today.

FOUR PRINCIPLES TO BOOST YOUR FAMILY FINANCE

By Anani Sunday

Among others, finance is one the most fundamental foundations that marriage must be built on if it must succeed. In any family where financial management is in disarray, there is usually untold pain, an outburst of frustration and discomfort. This is because the necessities of everyday life such as food, groceries, bill payments, etc., will be hard to meet. Invariably, therefore, finance requires major attention. Otherwise, couples will be left frustrated and their relationship fractured. If you want your home to be stable, you have to drive this finance vehicle well and to safety. How should you do this? This is the vital question this piece aims to answer. I’ll explain a few of the principles that have helped my family. 1. The Principle of Oneness 2. The Principle of Openness 3. The Principle of Work 4. The Principle of Support

1. The Principle of Oneness “Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?” (Amos 3:3, MSG) As a unit, couples have to pursue the same thing if their money must achieve goals for them. You need to ask questions like: • What do we want to achieve together? • How do we want to achieve them? • When do we want to achieve them? The answers to these questions will give the home a direction. Agreement on them enables your family to stay focused on a common pursuit. In addition, it will make you speak the WE language instead of the ME language. Oneness will make you see every expense that needs to be met as a family need and not just a father’s or mother’s needs. It makes you blur out the idea of solely laying claim to what you earn. In the long run, having one mind as a couple makes the family get the synergistic effect that a single hand cannot attain. The advantage of oneness in family finance is that you’re able to make provisions for the home without much stress. 2. The Principle of Openness Some married people keep secrets that follow them to the grave. Some maintain secrets accounts, and they die without telling their spouse about them. As such, banks have free funds they loan out easily and probably forever without anyone coming to claim it.

If you want to have successful family finance, be open to each other. If you attain oneness, you cannot hide anything from your spouse. Be open to each other on what you earn. This helps to manage expectations from each other. It also grows your trust. Don’t be in the habit of falsifying what you earn. Instead, lay on the table what you both have and assign them to kingdom and family uses. If there is anyone that should know what you earn, it is your spouse. Be completely open. 3. The Principle of Work Money is earned when you work and this is either through rendering services or selling products. If the family finance will not suffer, then you must work. As much as it is the responsibility of the husband to provide for the home, nothing excludes the wife from serving her role as a competent supporter and help meet for the man in whatever way she can. This is one way to avoid burnout from the burden of providing for the home solely. Some people are lazybones. They don’t work but they want to live large and fat on the earnings of the church and others. Your family should not be found there. Work to earn. This is nonnegotiable. It is the principal way to provide for the home. Sell products. Render services. Earn legitimately and provide for the home God’s given you a charge over.

4. The Principle of Support I earn through salary but my wife does business. Every month, I assign a percentage of my salary to savings. That amount saved is pumped into my wife’s business as an additional capital monthly. This makes her able to grow her business. This is the kind of support we give each other. Her business, not my salary, pays our rent. Her business meets major needs such as any investment we want to do, not my salary. She began the business when I thought of what she could do after leaving paid employment. As the husband, the idea came to me and I sold it to her. That is support. She does well in it and we both benefit from the proceeds.

If there is anything you must do, it is to support each other. This is what oneness does for you. It is what the principle of openness does for you. It is what the mind to work together will achieve for you. May you win together. Amen. Anani Sunday Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anani.s.k.1 WhatsApp: https://mywa.link/ ananisunday Phone number: 08029299709

FAMILY BOOSTER MAGAZINE (FBM) This is the magazine published to transform your life and family and help you live a fulfilled life. FBM has 9 POTS of SOUP for your reading pleasure and transformation. POT 1 (FAMILY): FBM Will help you build an extremely joyful family life

POT 4 (SUCCESS): This magazine will teach you how to be successful in your endeavours. POT 5 (CHOICE MAKING): The magazine will teach you how to choose a life partner without choosing a monster.

POT 6 (RELATIONSHIP): POT 2 (MONEY): FBM Will FBM will help you build a teach you how to make great relationship that will money with peace of mind. lead to a solid marriage POT 3 (SEX): It will teach you how to make your bedroom life terrific, tantalising and bed breaking.

POT 7 (HEALTH): It will teach you how to live a healthy life. POT 8 (MARRIAGE): It will teach you how to make your marriage matrimony, not a matri-agony POT 9 (ENTERTAINMENT): FBM will make you laugh, be happy and be fulfilled.

2 Quotes From Others

JAMES CLEAR’S NEWS LETTER 3 Ideas From Me

I. “A quick and easy tip for building habits that last: Pick a standard time and place to do it. It’s easier to wake up knowing “I exercise at 4pm” than to decide each time when to fit a habit into your day. If it’s already decided, all you need to do is show up.” II. “Spend more time searching for better information sources. A body filled with junk food struggles to move well. A mind filled with junk thoughts struggles to think well.” III “Different meanings can be assigned to the same events. Look for evidence of how the world is encouraging you, and you will find it. Look for evidence of how the world is burdening you, and you will find it. Choose an explanation that empowers you.”

I. Theoretical physicist Richard Feynman with some advice for life: “Fall in love with some activity, and do it! Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn’t matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough. Work as hard and as much as you want to on the things you like to do the best. Don’t think about what you want to be, but what you want to do. Keep up some kind of a minimum with other things so that society doesn’t stop you from doing anything at all.” II. Writer Jeanette Winterson on the connection between art and an open mind: “Most of us spend a lot of time censoring everything that we see and hear. Does it fit with our world picture? And if it doesn’t, how can we shut it out, how can we ignore it, how can we challenge it? We are continually threatened in life, it’s true. But once you are alone with a book, and it’s also true with a picture or with music, all those defenses drop and you can enter into a quite different space where you will learn to think differently about yourself.”

1 Question For You

If it fails, where does it fail?

LIFE ISSUES

PRACTICAL WAYS TO PREPARE WELL FOR RETIREMENT Bisi Adewale

any retirees die not too long after their retirement because they were never prepared for retirement. Those who are still alive live with chronic health issues, financial downturn, or old age-related issues. Many of them end up relying on their children for sustenance as they cannot stand on their own because of a lack of financial support. One mistake people make is to fail to prepare for retirement early enough. Some do not prepare at all but wait for pension and gratuities. Here I will be showing you how to prepare yourself for retirement early enough to make yourself ready when the time comes 38

1. BE VERY CLOSE TO YOUR GOD: Being close to God will get him involved in your life and future. It will also prevent you from making some decisions that will hurt you in your old age. 2. TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR HEALTH: If you want to enjoy your retirement and old age, take good care of your health now. Stop smoking, drinking alcohol, ingesting sugary food and many other things that will hurt your health. There are many things your body can take now but will affect you adversely in your latter time, so stop them now. 3. PICK UP SECONDARY SKILLS: Start to learn new skills apart from the ones you are using now. You can learn fashion designing, digital marketing, website designing, book writing, book editing, magazine production, freelancing, public speaking, motivational speaking, coaching, rentals, event planning, decorations, catering, baking, counselling, etc. 4. INVEST HEAVILY: Also, make sure you don’t spend all your money. Learn to invest a part of your earnings now for future coverings. 5. BUILD A HOUSE: It will be very difficult if you are still paying rent in

retirement. If you struggle to pay rent when you are in service, what do you think will happen when you have to pay rent in retirement? That will be terrible. Remember that rent will keep increasing whether we like it or not. 6. PAY OFF YOUR LOANS AND DEBTS: Pay off your loans and avoid new ones. Retiring with debts is like a life sentence 7. START A BUSINESS THAT WILL EARN YOU INCOME: Don’t vet the ink and stay idle in retirement, this will lead to boredom, poverty and ill health. Think of what you can do to keep yourself busy and earn income and do it.

close to your spouse; build a very strong marriage when you are young. You will need each other more in your old age when you have to be together at home 24/7. Children are long gone, colleagues are no more there, customers have stopped calling, many friends are dead, sick or simply forget to call. Only your companion, your spouse will remain. Build your future now so that your empty nest will not turn to emptiness.

8. TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN WELL: Make sure your children are well trained. Parent them well, make sure they stand on their own. If you have to feed your grown-up children in retirement, that will be terrible. 9. TAKE UP CONSULTANCY: Get trained to go into consultancy in your area of operation. Society and companies still need your expertise in retirement, but you need to be well trained for this. 10. BE CLOSE TO YOUR WIFE/HUSBAND: Be very

LIFE ISSUES

HOW TO HAVE A WEDDING WITH JUST N50,000

By Okechukwu Liberty

ith the rise of prices in the Nigerian market, the least any couple would want to engage in is an expensive wedding that takes a lot of time to plan. It also leaves one in debt after the occasion is over. If you no wan dey soak garri after your wedding because of gbese, then you need to learn how to have a wedding with just N50,000. If this article can help many single people marry this year, then it has achieved its purpose. First and foremost:

• Call a meeting with your pastor and the church’s marriage committee telling them that you don’t have money at all, be plain as possible for your sake. • Make an appointment with the court ahead of time. If you book two months prior, the certificate will only cost you about N4,000. • Bro, put on your regular suit, yes, that same suit you used for that job interview last year. Spare about N2,000 for your tie, socks, and handkerchief. You will still have some change to keep! • Purchase a fairly used bridal gown for N4,000 on Jiji or at bridal shops around your area. You can even tell ‘Mama Nkechi’, the tailor next door to help you run a better white chiffon gown for the same price. You can also rent a cheap gown for N3,000. • Borrow your friend’s car and fuel it, or book a ride on Taxify or Uber. It should cost about N4,000. • Family and friends should be invited only. Well-wishers should simply call or 40

visit the house later. • Don’t forget to buy your wedding rings oh! It’s crucial. Two cheap beautiful rings won’t cost more than N2,000. • Don’t cook but share ‘puff puff’. This won’t cost more than N3,000. • You can use N15,000 to cook food for the traditional wedding early. Read Also: Wedding crasher: See what the first wife does in her husband’s wedding to second wife (Photos) • Don’t forget you have to purchase palm wine for the traditional wedding, N1500 for a full keg.

• That your favourite photographer should not be far from you oh! He can handle this for N5,000. • Give Tobi, your cousin, your laptop. Let him be the deejay for that day. Don’t forget to bring your woofer speakers. If you don’t have one, borrow one. • You can make provision for petrol worth N5,000 for the church to fuel their generator. • Use the remaining N4500 to lodge in a small hotel or just take your wife home. Now you have it, the wedding has been done. HAPPY MARRIED LIFE.

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE EVERY TIME By Jack Canfield YOU HAVE THE POWER to shift your mindset and focus on the positive. YOU HAVE THE POWER to get clear on what matters most to you and take meaningful action toward your goals. YOU HAVE THE POWER to take control of your life and make your dreams come true! Use the power to change your life. Over to you 42

FOOD SPICES

5 SURPRISING HEALTH BENEFITS OF BLACK PEPPER By James Colquoun

hat superfood spices are hiding in your cupboard? I know when asked that, my brain always goes to the most complicated spices like sumac and turmeric, or sometimes I’ll remember the health benefits of chilli and cumin. I can probably even tell you the benefits

of quite a few standouts on my spice shelf. Yet somehow, there’s one that always gets overlooked. Cracked black pepper is a staple on almost any table, and for good reason. It enhances the flavour of most dishes, it’s incredibly versatile and it’s packed with incredibly healthpromoting benefits

because of the compounds it brings to the table. Here are 5 of my favourites. 1. Rich In Antioxidants Antioxidants are still some of the biggest buzzcompounds found in our diet; people love them and for good reason. Within the body, we find free radicals, which are molecules that 43

damage the body’s cells - some are natural, and some are not. Many free radicals are caused by factors such as pollution, cigarette smoking, and even the foods we eat. These free radicals have been shown to lead to increased inflammation, premature ageing, heart disease, and even some cancers. Antioxidants, on the other hand, fight free radicals by nature - and they always come out on top. So having a diet rich in antioxidants is one of the best remedies money can buy (especially if it’s something as simple as black pepper). 2. Has Potent

Anti-Inflammatory Properties

Another branch of health that we know to be true surrounds chronic inflammation and the idea that almost all chronic inflammation can flow into a chronic disease. While inflammation is an entirely natural reaction in the body to help recover from an acute injury, long-term inflammation can cause damage to cells within that region. Black pepper has been shown to be a powerful anti-inflammatory, most notably mentioning the compound piperine, which typically supports anti-inflammatory action.

3. Boosts Absorption Of 5. May Improve Blood

Essential Nutrients

You can best think of pepper as the person that helps you unpack the groceries from the car - it takes the goods and gets the hardest part of the job done. Piperine, that marvellous compound found in pepper, helps to transport and deliver essential nutrients to where they are needed. Essential minerals calcium and selenium are enhanced by the consumption of black pepper, alongside our wellness favourites, green tea and turmeric (we’re always told to enjoy our turmeric with cracked black pepper remember). 4. Promotes Thriving

Gut Health

In the health and wellness field, we’re seeing increased attention to the role of gut health in overall health. In fact, it is now widely accepted that the health of our gut microbiome directly impacts health throughout our body - from cognitive health to robust immunity. Recently there has been sufficient evidence to suggest that increased uptake of black pepper will lead to an increase in healthy gut bacteria, meaning healthier humans overall.

Sugar Control

Blood sugar control is a big one. With diabetes and other blood sugar-related conditions now being one of the largest burdens on the American healthcare system (pandemics aside), finding natural solutions to these issues will be paramount. Black pepper has not only been shown to improve blood sugar metabolism, but trials with extract treatments have shown smaller spikes in blood sugar levels after eating glucose (this indicates that eating pepper with your meals is a good thing)! Additionally, trials using piperine supplements have shown to improve insulin sensitivity. So now that you’re convinced on the case of cracked black pepper, how do you intend to use it? Source: Foodmatters.com

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE You will meet difficult people everywhere. • In the neighbourhood • At work • At school. • In the family • In political parties • In nations It doesn’t matter the number of good things you do; you will still meet difficult people in life. • They will mock you. • They will criticize you. • They will discourage you. • They will fight you. • They will speak negative things about you. • They will tell lies about you. • They will try to steal your joy and bring you down to zero levels. • They will threaten you to the point of death. Just remember that all great men come across difficult people in their journey of life. Characteristics of Difficult People • Some are agents of the devil sent to stop you. • Some are immature people who need your help. • Some are wounded people seeking revenge. • Some are jealous people seeking relevance.

• Some are proud people who never want to see anyone above them. • Some are failures in life looking for people to perish with. What Does the Presence of Difficult People Mean? • It means there is a great destiny in your life. • It means there are leadership qualities in you. • It means you are a threat to their camp • It means you have great potential. • It means you are an overcomer. • It means you are on the right track.

The Way forward • Learn never to give up on your dream. • Pursue your dream to reach your destiny successfully. • Learn to forgive and forget your haters. Just move on! • Learn to yield yourself only to God Almighty for guidance. • Continue praying, fasting, and forgiving those who hurt you. • Don’t forget to pray for your enemies. • Life is a battleground; fight to win! & Aim to finish well. May God Almighty continue to shower His blessings upon you. Amen.

HEALTH ISSUES

4 NATURAL WAYS TO COMBAT DIABETES

ccording to the American Diabetes Association, nearly 9.4 per cent of the U.S. population has diabetes. Of those 30.3 million adults, 23.1 million were diagnosed, and nearly 7.2 million went undiagnosed. This debilitating disease develops in nearly 1.5 million Americans every year, and it’s been the 7th leading cause of death in the U.S. since 2015. As explained by the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Disorders, diabetes occurs when the liver and muscles become insensitive to the action of insulin and blood glucose becomes too high. Insulin calls for your liver and muscles to store glucose (and fat if present in the blood) and also calls for the liver to produce less glucose, all in an effort to maintain normal blood glucose levels. High levels of fat, especially animal fats, in the bloodstream and the muscles promote insulin resistance. This can cause diabetes, which may lead to heart, kidney or dental disease, stroke, eye problems, nerve damage and foot issues. “Nov. 14 is National Diabetes Awareness Day.” When the body can no longer regulate blood glucose, it is commonly referred to as Type 2 diabetes. While developing and living with any disease can be threatening to overall health, the good news about Type 2 diabetes, pre-diabetes and cases of insulin resistance is that the right combination of healthy habits may

help to reverse such conditions, or at least the symptoms that come with them. Nov. 14 is National Diabetes Awareness Day. Now’s the perfect time to inform yourself about the disease and learn to live your fullest, most fulfilling life. Here are a few natural ways to combat and potentially reverse diabetes: 1. Exercise Did you know that physical activity can lower your blood glucose for up to 24 hours or more after a workout? That’s because exercise makes your body more sensitive to insulin, helping your muscle cells use up available insulin over time. If you don’t already exercise, it’s critical to implement physical activity into your lifestyle. Adults are recommended to spend at least 150 minutes per week performing moderately intense aerobic activity, with two days dedicated to muscle-strengthening activity. Use these recommendations to start, then work your way into implementing high-intensity interval training into your workout regimen. This technique involves intense bursts of exercise followed by short recovery periods, which is known to keep your heart rate up and burn fat in less time. It’s also great for heart health! 2. Reduce Stress According to lifestyle blog Wellness Mama, high stress levels raise cortisol, which can cause hormone imbalance and insulin issues. Reducing your stress sources can reduce your chance of experiencing insulin spikes. Use prayer, bible study, hobbies and time spent with the ones you love as outlets for stress. 3. Lose Excess Weight Being overweight or obese can heighten your risk for dealing with diabetic complications, as explained by the ADA. When you choose to eat well, exercise and follow other healthy habits that help 46

you lose excess weight, you’ll notice an improvement in your overall health while keeping your diabetes under control and reducing your risk for developing other harmful conditions. Assess your current lifestyle choices and see if there’s any room for improvement to jumpstart your journey to weight loss. 4. Follow a Plant-Based Diet When you don’t pay attention to the way you treat your body – with poor eating habits – conditions like diabetes develop and wreak havoc on overall health and wellness. Eating a diet heavy in meat and dairy products pours too much fat into the bloodstream, leading to insulin resistance. And then consuming refined sugars and processed grains causes blood sugar levels to spike and can make conditions worse. By switching to a plant-based diet, however, you can get your blood glucose back in good shape, lose excess weight and take control of your health again. A diet that prioritizes healthy, plant-based proteins, whole-food carbohydrates and fats can get you back on track and reduce your risk for experiencing diabetic complications in the future. Source: www.myhdiet.com

HEALTH ISSUES

NATURAL WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR KIDNEYS FROM DAMAGE By ’Tony Akinyemi A. INTRODUCTION

Except for a few individuals, all of us are born with two kidneys that constitute part of the URINARY SYSTEM & ELIMINATIVE ORGANS of the body. • Renal (Latin); • Nephro (Greek); • Kidney (English); • Kindinrin (Yoruba) B. THE FUNCTIONS OF OUR

KIDNEYS

The PRIMARY function of our kidneys is not to eliminate waste like the colon, but to maintain homeostasis (balance) and internal stability by cleansing the blood. The kidneys are vital organs of the body. You need at least one kidney to survive. We have two kidneys because the body has built-in redundancy. We can only survive 2 to 4 days if our kidneys should shut down completely and nothing is done to save our life. With dialysis, a person whose kidneys have packed up can still

survive with 2 to 3 dialysis a week. The dialysis machine performs one of the jobs of our kidneys – removing waste products from our blood. Our kidneys help to remove the following from our blood: • Waste • Solutes • Toxins • Proteins & amino acids • Water • Electrolytes • Bicarbonate, • Etc. Our kidneys also help to: • Maintain normal blood volume, • Blood pressure, • Blood composition, • Body pH, • Etc. In summary, our kidneys, among other things, perform many crucial functions, including: • Maintaining overall fluid and electrolyte balance; • Filtering and excretion of minerals, waste materials from food, medications and other toxic and foreign substances; • Creating hormones that help produce red blood cells, Vitamin D to promote bone and dental health, and hormones that help regulate blood pressure • Regulation of blood volume; • Regulation of blood pressure; • Regulation of the pH of the blood;

C. KIDNEY DISEASES The kidneys can be afflicted in many different ways. Among the afflictions of the kidney are: • Nephrolithiasis or Renal lithiasis - kidney stones; • Kidney Sludge (which compromises kidney function); • Kidney infection (and of the urinary tract - UTI); • Nephritis - inflammation of the kidneys; • Acute Renal Failure (ARF) - a situation in which the kidneys stop working suddenly or over a period of time (days to even weeks). Usually, the kidneys might be able to bounce back again and start working; • Chronic Renal Failure or Chronic Renal Insufficiency - the kidneys are not working perfectly and this shows up in blood tests (Kidney Function Test); • Acidosis (a situation where the kidneys are not removing enough acid leading to the accumulation of acid in the blood, a condition known as acidosis); • Agenesis - a situation in which a kidney fails to grow and develop such that 49

the victim operates on only one functional kidney;

is not well attended to, it can lead to many complications along the line, among which is kidney damage.

• Analgesic nephropathy kidney disease caused by prolonged use of analgesics such as PARACETAMOL; • Hypertension – when hypertension is not • Benign Familial appropriately addressed, it Haematuria - a usually can cause kidney damage harmless condition that too; and once the kidneys makes small amounts of are affected, blood blood appear in the urine; pressure continues to go even higher while PCV • Bartter Syndrome - a (blood volume) continues condition that causes low to go down. It then blood pressure because becomes a vicious cycle of the kidneys leak excessive mutually reinforcing amounts of salt into the effects. urine; • Long term use of certain • Polycystic Kidney Disease medications (e.g. (PKD) - multiple cysts in PARACETAMOL). Many the kidneys; people do not realize that Paracetamol is not meant • Diabetic for long-term use. If it nephropathy - kidney is used long-term, it can disease developing as a cause kidney damage. result of diabetes; There are quite a number of pharmaceutical drugs • Obstructive Nephropathy out there that can exert the - a blockage and backup of same adverse effects on urine causing damage to our kidneys. You need to the kidneys; always read the label of The list of kidney diseases every medication you are is almost endless. on to acquaint yourself with possible side effects or adverse effects that the B. CAUSES OF KIDNEY drugs might bring on. DISEASES: Many factors can either • Abuse of herbs – even individually or in tandem though herbs are gentler with other factors on the body than chemicals precipitate kidney or pharmaceuticals, yet the disorders. Among the misuse of even some factors that commonly cause kidney diseases are: herbal products too can • Diabetes – when diabetes lead to kidney damage. Therefore, we must be

professionally guided even in our use of herbal supplements. Certain cosmetics (containing toxic substances that can be absorbed through the skin into the bloodstream). Many ingredients in personal care products have been linked to health disruptions -- e.g. Parabens (Methyl, Propyl, Ethyl, Butyl), Sodium Lauryl Sulphate (SLS), Polyethylene Glycol (PEG), Polyethylene Glycol (PEG4-200), Diethanolamine (DEA), Monoethanolamine (MEA), Triethanolamine (TEA), PABA (Avobenzone, Benzophenone, Methoxycinnamate), DMDM and Imidazolidnyl Urea, FD & C Colour Pigments, Triclosan, certain Fragrances, & certain Mineral Oils. • Toxins in our foods artificial flavours, artificial colours, chemical preservatives, etc. • Reduced blood flow to the kidneys due to arterial plaque clogging the arteries. • Chronic Urinary Tract Infection. • Systemic Lupus - where the immune system attacks the kidneys and other organs of the body. • Kidney stones.

• Etc. The three most common causes of kidney impairment in Nigeria are: • Hypertension that is not properly managed • Diabetes that is not properly managed • Drug abuse, particularly indiscriminate and longterm use of PARACETAMOL

D. NATURAL

C. SYMPTOMS OF

• If you are prone to kidney stones, avoid oxalate-rich foods such as SPINACH, • Avoid kidney-damaging toxins from your foods and BEETS, etc. Calcium cosmetics. Avoid foods that oxalate stones are the most common type of kidney are laden with artificial flavours, artificial colours, stone. As such, many patients with kidney stones chemical preservatives, can benefit from a diet that and so on. Be careful with reduces calcium kidney the kind of cosmetics you apply to your skin and hair. stones. However, if you don't test high for oxalate, Use natural products. My simple rule of thumb is “if I this will not can’t pronounce the names necessarily benefit you. You really don’t need to cut of the ingredients, then I won’t buy it or use it.” QED. out healthy oxalate-rich foods from your diet if you are not prone to • Avoid indiscriminate developing kidney stones. use of analgesics such as In fact, oxalate is PARACETAMOL. Many people have damaged their practically kidneys through the use of unavoidable, because most plant foods have some. over-the-counter However, those who have medications. had kidney stones before should avoid the following: • Know the Side-Effects of Your Medication. If you are French fries Spinach on any prescription Beets medication that was Nuts and nut butter prescribed by your doctor, Bran flakes please take time to study Rhubarb, & the label and understand Potato chips the possible side effects or adverse effects that the 51

KIDNEY DISEASE:

• Puffy eyes, hands, and feet (oedema) • Cloudy urine or teacoloured urine • High blood pressure or low blood pressure • Low PCV (blood volume) and paleness • Fatigue or extreme tiredness • Extreme thirst • Shortness of breath • Loss of appetite • Nausea & vomiting • Bad breath or a bad taste in the mouth • Weight loss • Muscle twitching or cramping • Generalized, persistent itchy skin • A yellowish-brown tint to the skin. It is important to conduct simple tests such as RENAL FUNCTION TEST and URINALYSIS at least once a year to monitor the health of our kidneys.

PROTECTION & REMEDIES: PROTECTION • Deal With Diabetes And Hypertension. These two medical conditions have damaged the kidneys of more people than anything else. So, if you have been diagnosed with either or both of these conditions, please don’t joke with it. Address it appropriately.

drug might induce. Some prescription drugs can damage the kidneys and the liver. • Drink enough water daily. As simple as this is, not too many people observe it. Also, the water you drink must be pure, alkaline, rich in minerals and trace minerals, and preferable structured if possible.

• Increase the amount of calcium in your diet. Low amounts of calcium in the diet increases your chances of forming calcium oxalate kidney stones. Some people avoid calcium because of the name "calcium oxalate stones." What they don’t realize is that calcium binds oxalate in the intestines. A calcium-rich diet helps to reduce the amount of oxalate being absorbed by our body. So, kidney stones are less likely to form. Therefore, eat calcium-rich foods every day or take a Calcium Citrate supplement. Meanwhile, eating high-calcium foods at the same time as high-oxalate foods is helpful. • Minimize your intake of animal protein. Plant protein is gentler on our kidneys. 2. REMEDIES FOR KIDNEY IMPAIRMENT: a. Anti-pathogenic Formulae: Garlic, Oil of Oregano, Olive Leaf Extract, etc., can help with urinary tract infection. b. Cranberry (it contains D-mannose) that deactivates E. coli and prevents it from sticking to the walls of the urinary tract. c. Probiotics: helps in preventing infection.

d. Proteolytic enzymes, L-Carnosine, Antioxidants, DMSO. e. Chanca Piedra (Phylantus niruri) for addressing kidney stones. f. Eliminate all animal protein (if you have been diagnosed with kidney impairment). Become VEGETARIAN until your kidneys bounce back. This may take approximately 6 months. g. Building PCV: Those with kidney impairment usually have low PCV (i.e. low blood levels) and high blood pressure. To boost PCV, take chlorophyll, beetroot juice and iron-rich foods such as okra & unripe plantain), folic acid, B-12. h. Dialysis: Those with serious kidney impairment that has resulted in very high blood CREATININE and UREA levels may benefit from dialysis in the meantime. The dialysis machine is designed to do part of the work of the kidney (remove waste products from the blood). Dialysis at a dialysis centre/ hospital may cost anything from N20,000 to N50,000 per session. Some people might need to do two sessions per week. You can do the math and see how much it will cost to maintain a person on dialysis

monthly and annually. i. Kidney Transplant: This is the final stage in kidney disease remedies. Once the kidneys have packed up, a transplant is the only way out except a miracle happens. A kidney transplant patient will live on immune-suppressing drugs for life so that the body will not reject the kidney. This deliberate immune suppression has its implications too – recurrent infections, etc. Some kidney transplant patients can live long after the transplant, but most die within 5 years of the transplant. This is why we must all do everything in our power to protect our kidneys. Before submitting to kidney transplant, please explore nutritional and natural approaches to improving your kidney health first. A transplant should only be considered after you have tried all other options and they have failed. Please do not rush into a kidney transplant. j. Faith & Responsibility: Above all, faith in God for divine healing is a critical factor in all healing programs that will last. Also, we must show responsibility in taking care of ourselves, especially our kidneys. Mega blessings Tony Akinyemi 52

Host of ‘EXPOSE WITH TONY AKINYEMI’ on YouTube, Facebook & Instagram on Mondays at 8 pm Nigerian Time

HOW TO SLEEP AND GET ENOUGH REST

By Howard LeWine, M.D. Set a regular bedtime and adopt a relaxing bedtime routine. • Turn off devices that give off light, such as the TV, computer, and phone, at least 15 to 30 minutes before bedtime. • Be sure your bed is comfortable and your bedroom is dark, quiet, and cool. • Don't take long naps during the day. If you need a nap, restrict it to 20 to 30 minutes in the early afternoon. • If you can't fall asleep after 15 to 20 minutes, go to another room. Read quietly with a dim light until you feel sleepy. 54

MARRIAGE INFO

FINDING PURPOSE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE By Jimmy Evans

once heard Pastor Bill Hybels say something that has stuck with me ever since: "In five years, you will not be the same." He made this statement to a church congregation. He said the people listening to him might be better in five years, or they might be worse. But they would not be the same. The decisions we're making right now–all of us–will change our future. That applies to couples, too. We all know couples whose marriages have prospered and flourished over the past five years. We all know couples whose marriages have imploded over the past five years. Five years from today, your marriage will be different. Will it be better or worse?

I believe success never happens by accident. You won't wake up five years from now and be surprised that you have an amazing marriage. You'll know it's great because you will have spent five years working on it. I also believe success only happens in a marriage relationship when the husband and wife are in agreement. They have to be committed to the same purpose. Amos 3:3 asks this meaningful question: "Can two walk together unless they're in agreement?" A good marriage requires the two of you to be heading in the same direction. What does it mean to be in agreement? That's the all-important question when it comes to marriage. To walk together or be committed to the same purpose, you have to know what that purpose is. One of the questions I most often find myself asking married couples is this: Why did God put you together? I ask them to articulate it or write it down. A majority of 55

couples–and this includes Karen and me when we first married–don't have a good answer to this question. But to find the purpose for your marriage, you have to start by digging deep. Ask yourself the hard questions: Why are we here? Why did God create us? What is God's plan for me as an individual and for us as a married couple? The answer to those questions is so simple it may surprise you: relationships. God created us to be in a relationship with him and in a relationship with each other. That's exactly what Jesus taught in the Greatest Commandment. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment," he said. "And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself" (Matthew 22:3738). Relationships are the reason we exist, and God wants us to be successful in them. The devil wants to destroy what God has created, so he targets relationships above almost everything else. He tries to separate us from God. He tries to separate us from each other. He also uses substitution to damage our relationships.

How many marriages have failed because a spouse began pursuing something else instead of each other? Money, a new career, a new relationship; all of these things can divide a marriage. Satan separates and substitutes, but God creates relationships. His plan for us is that we pursue a relationship with Him and a relationship with each other. On earth, that primary human relationship is with your spouse. That's the reason God put you together. That's His plan for your life. That's your

purpose. Understanding your purpose is an important step. Pursue God and pursue that relationship with each other. I guarantee you'll find success, and five years from now, your marriage will be better than ever before.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

woman told her husband she was going to visit her sick mum in the village. She went on Friday and returned on Sunday, with plenty of fruits and foodstuff, saying they were from her mum to the husband and the children. Then, the husband gently asked her about her mother's health and how she was doing. She replied that she took her to the hospital in the village and she was recovering and getting better. The wife added that her mother insisted that she must re-visit the village in a few days, to spend at least a week with her. "I'm worried about Mama" the wife crooned, with tears swelling in her eyes. "She'll be fine, dear." Husband lovingly replied. The husband then politely asked her to take the items to the kitchen. As she entered, she met her mother preparing food in the kitchen. Apparently, her mum came visiting since the Friday that she left home. You can imagine the plight of this woman... stuck, shocked, dazed and dumbfounded at the kitchen door! Whether to go in and drop the items from Mama or return to her husband in the living room! How would you handle this case if you were the husband? What explanation will you give if you were the woman? Please, your humble opinion is required. 57

Hear this: “We must avoid making hasty conclusions because of what others are saying about someone else". What people say about others, says a lot about them. I am repeating this more directly: The things you say about others say a lot about you! I can tell a lot about a person by what they choose to see in others. Character assassination is a pervasive and destructive phenomenon that is found everywhere. You find it in families, churches, mosques, societies, organizations, workplaces, communities, towns, villages, states or even nations, etc. You may be surprised to find it among Men of God, clerics (Muslims and Christians), etc. Wikipedia defines character assassination as the deliberate, malicious, unjustified and sustained effort to damage the reputation or credibility of an individual. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as the slandering of a person usually with the intention of destroying public confidence in that person. Athi Murugan defines “Character Assassination” as the act of lowering one’s character in a bid to ruin the character of others. Some people take maximum delight in ruining other's reputations. This set of people has destructive tendencies. They oil their ego by pulling other people One mistake you should down. PhD (Pull Him Down). never make is to allow yourself to be recruited by False allegations are the most chronic form of mental abuse. When people can’t kill your dreams and purpose, someone, to hate another person who hasn't wronged they will try to assassinate your character. There are some people whose spirit will always irritate their you. demons! Once they realize hating isn’t working, they start telling and spreading lies about you. People are assassinated once, but character assassination kills daily! Character assassination is a form of emotional violence against others. Someone once said, “A friend of my enemy is my enemy.” One of the things that hinder us from living a fulfilling and inclusive life is bringing past bias and sentiments into present relationships. A friend of your enemy is not necessarily your enemy; it all depends on intentions and contributions. God can use your enemy’s friend to bless you! Let's make our environment better than we met it responsibly. Copied from another platform but useful for our togetherness.

COMMON MISTAKES IN LIFE

DON'T DIE A CHICKEN A parable from a priest and therapist, Anthony de Mello on the stories we tell ourselves: "A man found an eagle's egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chickens and grew up with them. All his life the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the air. Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings. The old eagle looked up in awe. "Who's that?" he asked. "That's the eagle, the king of the birds," said his neighbour. "He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth—we're chickens." So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that's what he thought he was." Source: Song of the Bird 59

PARENTING

HOW TO PROTECT THE DESTINY OF YOUR CHILDREN FROM DESTRUCTION

And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him today, and we will eat my son tomorrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son. And it came to pass, when the king heard the words of the woman, that he rent his clothes; and he passed by upon the wall, and the people looked, and, behold, he had sackcloth within upon his flesh.” 2 Kings 6:28-30 KJV 60

1. Do not discuss your children’s success openly, especially in the presence of those whose children are not doing well. 2. Do not praise your children publicly in the presence of identity/glory changers. 3. Be careful, don’t carelessly pass over your children’s used materials like shoes, clothes to the enemies you call friends or relatives. They may use them diabolically. 4. Disallow your children from eating anything, anywhere or bringing strange food home. 5. Do not disclose your children’s future pursuit and target among family members or friends. Vision killers are everywhere. 6. Do not allow your children to visit unguided people you don’t know well or their spiritual lives you don’t know. They can empty virtues or do virtues exchange diabolically.

to build your own house, stay in a hotel. 9. When family members come to visit, don’t leave your children alone with them. Demonstrate a protective attitude over them. They are your future. 10. Don’t lend your relatives any amount of money you can’t afford to lose. Asking them to pay you back can be the start of battles against your family. 11. While you are still alive, don’t allow your children to go and live with relatives. No one can take care of your children like you. People are pretentiously dangerous. Be careful. 12. Train your children to trust in God and not to be exposed to extended family affairs. No matter how religious your relatives may be, they will not want your children to become the superstars of the family.

7. Going to your home town on holidays with your children requires prayers and carefulness. Don’t announce your arrival and departure.

13. Avoid forming a business partnership with relatives. It may degenerate into a cold war that will extend to your children. If already you are in it, don’t expect your grown-up children to take up the business. It is dangerous, please.

8. Do not stay in the family house. If you are yet

14. If you dream of attacks on your children or you

observe some things going wrong, get into serious prayers immediately and don’t take things for granted. Send the arrows back to the sender in Jesus name. 15. Don’t trade your children’s future glory for the enjoyment of the moment. Refrain from anyone fond of running down your children. May the Lord preserve our children in Jesus name. 16. Never use your children's school fees as the reason you will not help your relative. They may not allow your children to graduate. Be guided. 17. Stop assumptions about your children. Cross-check, watch over them, check their bags, rooms, computers, wardrobes, etc. Don't give blind trust that will destroy them. 18. Never fail to discipline your children because you love them. If you truly love them, discipline them. 19. Never fail to lead them to Christ and groom them in God. When a child does not know Christ, he will know crisis in future. 20. Never allow a day to pass without praying for your children. If you don’t pray for them, you will be exposing them to the 61

enemies of their souls. 21. Protect your children from the Athaliah of this world. “When Athaliah the mother of Ahaziah [King of Judah] saw that her son was dead, she arose and destroyed all the royal offspring. But Jehosheba, the daughter of King Joram [of Judah and half] sister of Ahaziah, took Joash the son of Ahaziah and abducted him from among the king’s sons who were to be killed, and hid him and his nurse in the bedroom. So they hid him from Athaliah, and he was not put to death. Joash was hidden with his nurse in the house (temple) of the LORD for six years, while Athaliah reigned over the land.” 2 Kings 11:1-3 AMP

PARENTING

17 MISTAKES PARENTS MAKE WITH ADULT CHILDREN By Bisi Adewale

arents of adults are known to make some mistakes about their children. These mistakes backfire on them in their old age. If you want to have a good relationship with your children at your latter age, avoid the following mistakes: 1. Handling Advice Wrongly: giving unsolicited advice, lording it over your adult children may backfire later. It is one

major mistake parents make because they fail to realize the differences between adult children and teenagers. You need to know that children are different and you must handle them very carefully Three Kinds of Adult Children i. The Open Child: This is a child who wants your advice, even if it is not 63

solicited. It may be easy to influence this kind of child. However, you may have problems with his or her spouse who may think he or she is a daddy's or mummy’s boy or girl. Sensing the parent as "controlling" his or her spouse, he or she may decide to fight back. The best way to handle your children is to only give advice when it is necessary or when it is solicited. ii. The Open-and-Close Child: A child who wants your advice only when it is solicited. iii. The Closed-Up Child: An adult child who does not want the parents’ advice at all. 2. Too Much Financial Demand: Some parents have turned their children to Automated Teller machines (ATM). They demand money at every given time. Some are known to curse their children on the phone if their financial demands are not met. This makes life difficult for their children in the process. This is a major mistake of many parents in this part of the world. 3. Parenting Married Children: The work of parenting is supposed to have stopped long before your children get married. Training, teaching and controlling a married child is unacceptable, and it shows you have done a bad job in your parenting duties in the last few years. You are to train children, not adults. “Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it”. [Eph. 6:4; II Tim. 3:15.] (Proverbs 22:6 AMP) 4. Using Financial Support to Control the Child: Some rich parents are known to use financial support to control their

children. They expect them to come cap-in-hand any time they are in financial straits, thereby, dictating how they want them to live their lives. Such parents will never give their children enough money that will make them be able to stand on their own. This is a major mistake that will backfire later. 5. Not loving their Children’s Spouses: Failure to love their children’s spouses is very common among modern-day parents, most especially parents of husbands; this is also wrong. 6. Treating Adults like Toddlers by controlling and ruling over them is a major error among modern-day parents. 7. Clingy Attitude: Some parents do not let go of their children. They cling to their married children and rival the spouses of their children for attention. This is wrong. 8. Failure to Pray: Many parents hardly have time to pray for their children; this is not right. Pray for your children always. 9. Choosing Life Partners for Them: You are not to choose a life partner for your child; it will be wrong to do that. 10. Rejecting a Child’s Choice of Partner because of Denominational or Ethnic Differences: It is wrong and childish to 64

insist that your child must get married from your denomination or tribe. 11. Beating Adult Children: Slapping or beating a child that is more than 18 years old is wrong. It is known to backfire always. 12. Treating Adults like Teenagers: It will be suicidal to treat a grown-up child like you

would a teenager. Controlling them, lording things over them, commanding them, etc., may not yield good results. 13. Moving to a Child’s Home: It is also wrong to move to the home of your married child to live there for any reason except for failing health. If it's for

failing health reasons, it must be with the expressed support of the child's spouse and not something to be forced on him or her. 14. Fighting a Child’s Spouse: Declaring war on your child's spouse is wrong; it is like declaring war on yourself. The result is always bad.

to be productive in your old age; don't rely on your children. You are supposed to leave an inheritance for your children and not become a liability to them in your old age.

17. Encouraging a Child to Divorce: One mistake that is common now is for parents to encourage their children to divorce their 15. Lording Things over spouses, at times because Your Children in their of infertility; this is an error. Always remember that God hates divorce; don't do it, and don't encourage your children to do it. “And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not one make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his Matrimonial Homes: Taking over in your child’s wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch home, dictating what upon your spirit [that it happens, controlling your child and his wife is wrong. may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not It may make your child’s treacherously and spouse fight back, which faithlessly [with your will hurt you. marriage mate]”. (Malachi 2:15, 16 AMP) 16. Relying on Children at Old Age: Do everything LET US PRAY! 65

1. Lord, my father, I will not rely on my children to feed me at old age.

accept my children’s spouses in Jesus name.

3. O Lord, my father, I will not mismanage the destiny of my children.

15. I receive the grace to humble myself to accept to apologize to my children when I am wrong.

14. I receive the spirit of 2. My father, I receive grace supplication over my to be productive at old age. children in Jesus name.

4. My children will be subject to your instructions 16. I receive the wisdom in Jesus name. to respect my children and their choices in Jesus 5. Father, bless me with all name. the resources to make my children into proper 17. There will not be children. sibling war among my children. 6. I will leave an inheritance for my 18. I will not be a bully to children’s children in Jesus my children in Jesus name. name. 19. My children will be 7. None of my children will secure in my love in Jesus be barren in Jesus name. name. 8. None of my children will 20. I will not be biased experience divorce in Jesus when my children are name. about choosing their life partners. 9. My children will not be my enemy in my old age. 10. My children will not put me to shame in my old age. 11. I receive the grace and wisdom to relate with my children as friends in Jesus name. 12. O Lord, do not permit me to lead my children in a wrong way in Jesus name. 13. I receive the grace to

PARENTING

UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN METAMORPHOSIS

names sound, they are still waiting to commence schooling. Though in some cases, some of them have started nursery school. The parenting style needed for this set of children is total parenting. (Get a copy of our Book PARENTING PRESCHOOLERS for more on this).

4. Mid-Childhood: These are children in the middle of childhood who are between the ages of 7 - 8 years. They have ou need to understand that your child will started elementary school transform from one level to another. Understanding this metamorphosis will help you to and are a little bit mature to do some things for know the level of each of your children and the themselves such as wearing parenting style to adopt. their clothes, doing little work at home and feeding. The kind of parenting needed here is Semi-total parenting. (Get a copy of our Book PARENTING MID CHILDHOOD for more on this).

By Bisi Adewale

1. Infants: These are children between the ages of 0 - 18 months. They are sucking babies in diapers. The kind of parenting needed by these sets of children is total parenting. (You are kindly advised to get a copy of our book PARENTING TODDLERS to know how to handle infants and toddlers). 2. Toddlers: These are children between the ages

of 18 - 36 months (3 years). They are mature babies; most of them are no more sucking breasts but are still dependent on their parents. Some are already walking and need more attention. Some are still in diapers. The kind of parenting style needed here is total parenting. 3. Preschoolers: These are children between the ages of 4 - 6 years. As their

5. Preteen: These are children who are very close to teenage age; that is why they are called preteens. They are between the ages of 9 - 12 years. Some of them are already experiencing puberty. The kind of parenting style to be applied here is semitotal parenting. (Get a copy of our book PARENTING PRETEEN for more on this). 6. Teenagers: These are children between the ages 67

of 13 - 19 years. Some are in secondary schools; some are higher institutions, while few may have graduated and are working. (Get a copy of our book PARENTING TEENAGERS for more on this).

8. Older Adult: These are people within the age of 25 years - above but are unmarried. They also need a supportive parenting style.

9. Married Children: Any married child belongs to this group. They are 7. Young Adults: These expected to be living in are children between the their own homes to raise ages of 20 - 24 years. Some their children in their own of them are still in school; way. The kind of parenting some have graduated and style needed here is known are working but are not as shadow parenting. (Get a married. Any married child copy of our Book within this age bracket PARENTING ADULT is no more regarded as a CHILDREN for more on young adult. The parenting this). style needed for this kind of child is known as With these, you need to supportive parenting. look at your children by

reading the chapter on “Parenting Metamorphosis” to know more about these parenting styles and make amendments where necessary.

1. THEY PUT GOD FIRST: Couples in a successful marriage know that they labour in vain except God is involved. So they put God first in all they do; they make God the centre of their union. You will do well to copy them so that you can get the results they are getting. 2. THEY SACRIFICE: Couples who are successful in marriages make lots of sacrifices for each other. They fall back to cover and help each other to be fulfilled in life. 3. THEY FORGIVE EACH OTHER EASILY: Ruth Graham said, "A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers." Successful couples must have seen this golden quote. They follow it to the letter. They forgive easily.

PARENTING

17 THINGS SUCCESSFUL COUPLES ARE DOING

o have a successful marriage is not by accident. It cannot come by wishful thinking. You may look at some joyful couples enviously and wish to have their kind of marriage. However, the truth is if you must have their kind of marriage, you must learn to do what they are doing and even do more. What do successful people do to make their homes what they are?

4. THEY BUILD TRUST: Trust is not free; it is not a cherry fruit that can easily fall on your laps. It has to be built, and successful couples know this. They do everything to build trust in their marriage by being trustworthy and open. 5. THEY KEEP DATING EACH OTHER: Dating your spouse must not be paramount in your heart if you want a great marriage. This is the fact that all couples in great marriages 69

are aware of and they don’t joke with their dates. 6. THEY DISCUSS: Wise couples know that no marriage can be successful except they discuss. They don’t just talk; they discuss wholeheartedly. 7. THEY LISTEN: They don’t only talk, but they take turns listening to each other with rapt attention. You see, listening to your spouse is one of the best gifts you can give to your marriage. Wise couples are listeners. 8. THEY APOLOGIZE: The ability to say I am sorry is a great asset for building a strong and enduring relationship. Wise couples use this weapon to fight the conflict in their marriages.

11. THEY LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE BETTER: They continue to learn how to talk and listen better. They are lifetime students of communication. 12. THEY WORK ON THEIR ATTITUDE: Attitudes determine destiny, so says the popular axiom. Successful couples are well mannered and are people of great attitude. 13. THEY RECONCILE: They are quick to reconcile when they have a misunderstanding or conflict. They do not allow it to linger. 14. THEY NORMALISE: They don’t only reconcile; they normalise. They get back to the pre-conflict state of their marriage.

9. THEY GET HELP WHEN THEY GOT STUCK: These couples are humble enough to get help when they get stuck. They know that marriage can enter stormy waters sometimes. They are smart enough to get help in the right quarters, not among friends and family members.

15. THEY CARE ABOUT THEIR MARRIAGE MORE THAN THEIR PRIDE OR EGO: Most people in bad marriages care about their ego more than their marriages. But couples in successful marriages are known to let go of their ego to let marriage be in a great state and love in great taste.

10. THEY MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER: They create time to be together and they value each other so much. They are not too busy to be lovers.

16. THEY ROMANCE: The marriages of successful couples are not just peaceful; they are romantic. Lots of couples are only peaceful in their marriages; they don’t

MARRIAGE LIFELINE

42 ANCIENT WISDOM FOR A GREAT MARRIAGE 1. CHOOSE LOVE: Love is a choice, so choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is kindness and it is a commitment. It is not emotions. 2. PHONE AFFAIRS: People honour girlfriends or boyfriends calls. Unfortunately, these

honourable calls are ignored immediately after the wedding. This is bad. As a rule, always answer the phone when your husband/wife calls. 3. PHONE HOLIDAY: Never allow your phone to strangulate your marriage. Many calls can wait; they will call back. You can also call back later, so as much

as possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse. 4. TIME CURRENCY: Let your time together be a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships”. So consistently invest time into your marriage. There are no shortcuts. Building a 71

strong marriage takes time. 5. SUPPORT SYSTEM: Your friends will impact your marriage. So choose your friends wisely. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage.

laugh at your jokes and your mistakes instead of fighting about it 8. MOMENT OF JOY: Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times. Find reasons to laugh together.

9. PRESS THE 6. REMOVE WRONG JOY BUTTON: Get PEOPLE: remove to know that the yourself from things that make people who may your spouse so tempt you to happy are called joy compromise your buttons. Everybody character. has it. What is your

7. LAUGHTER TREATMENT: Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Feel free to laugh together,

spouse joy button? Find it, and press it often. Keep the marriage lively and your spouse happy.

10. AVOID RED BUTTONS: Red buttons are those things that easily annoy your spouse and make your marriage hot and difficult. Know how to handle this wisely and avoid conflict that hurt marriage deeply.

and wife taking turns to be strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak. Cover your spouse's weaknesses. That is why you are together.

13. IT'S NOT 50-50: Remember that 11. NOT OLYMPIC marriage isn’t BUT 50-50; divorce is PARTNERSHIP: In 50-50. Marriage every argument, has to be 100-100. remember that It’s not splitting there are no everything in half, winners and losers. but both partners You are partners in giving everything everything. So you’ll they’ve got without either win together reservations. or lose together. Work together to 14. NO LEFTOVER: find a solution. John Maxwell said no Marriage can 12. STRENGTHEN survive forever on THE FEEBLE KNEE: leftover. What a Remember that a profound strong statement. Give marriage rarely has your best to each two strong people at other, not your the same time. It’s leftovers time, usually a husband money, love, 72

emotions, etc., after you’ve I’m sorry. Please forgive given your best to everyone me.” When couples cannot else. say sorry, marriage ends up in a sorry state. Avoid this. 15. TALK TO EACH OTHER, NOT AT EACH 20. BE GENEROUS WITH OTHER: Speak lovingly and FORGIVENESS: When your respectfully to each other. husband/wife breaks your Your words matter, but the trust, forgive instantly. It tone of those words matter will promote healing and too. The tone of your words create the opportunity for can set the tone for your trust to be rebuilt. You cant entire marriage. build a house without making muds. You can't 16. DONT PAUSE YOUR build a marriage without MARRIAGE: Don’t put your offending each other one marriage on hold while time or the other. When you’re raising your kids, or that happens, open your else, you’ll end up with an bowel of forgiveness. empty nest and an empty marriage. When your 21. GIVE VOICE TO children get married, you FORGIVENESS: Don't just will live the rest of your life forgive in your heart but in loneliness. Don't pause give voice to it. This is to your marriage. reassure your spouse and heal you too. You should 17. NAKED BUT NOT be quick to say, “I love you. ASHAMED: Never keep I forgive you. Let’s move secrets from each other. forward.” Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy. Be open. 22. APPLY BRAKE: Be Marriage thrives when patient with each other. there is openness and Your spouse is always more transparency. important than your schedule. Don't be on the 18. LET YOUR YES BE high of life 24/7. Apply YES; NO BE NO: Never lie the brake. Patience is the to each other. Lies break strong pillar of marriage. trust. The absence of trust breaks love, the foundation 23. AVOID SCREEN SEX: of a strong marriage. Stay away from porn, blue film or anything that 19. SAY SORRY TO AVOID A creates sexual fantasy SORRY MARRIAGE: When apart from your spouse. you’ve made a mistake, Porn is a prison. It is admit it and humbly seek destructive; it breaks trust forgiveness. You should be and destroys marriages and quick to say, “I was wrong; damages homes.

24. AVOID STINKING THINKING: Don’t just be physically monogamous; be mentally monogamous. When you think of sex, think about your husband or wife only. Your thinking must not stink. A stinking thought sinks marriage. 25. BE A FAN, NOT A RIVAL: Be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not his/ her biggest critic. Be your spouse's fan, the head of his or her supporters' club. Be in the same camp, not in opposing teams. 26. BE A WIPER: Be the one who wipes away the tears of your spouse, not the one who causes them. Wipe sweat don't be the source of your spouse's needless sweat. 27. APPLY MOUTH LOYALTY: Never talk badly about your spouse to other people when he or she is not there or vent about them online. This is a sign of disloyalty. Avoid it. 28. BE YOUR SPOUSE'S ARMOUR BEARER: Protect your spouse at all times and in all places. Be the chairman of the defence counsel to your spouse. Defend, protect, be a shield. Don't be on the attack; don't attack your spouse. It's foolish. 29. WEDDING RING IS

AND listen to each other. 36. BE A PARTNER: Work together as partners. Never let your spouse face a struggle without your encouragement, partnership and support.

NOT A FASHION: Always wear your wedding ring. It's not just for fashion, it's a covenant reminder. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse. It will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits! 30. FAITH BUILDS MARRIAGE: Make your faith a priority. Pray with each other and for each other. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it. Every marriage is twice weakened when God is absent. 31. DON'T NAG. BRAG: Instead of nagging about your spouse, try bragging about your spouse! Focus on what they’re doing right instead of pointing out what they’re doing wrong. 32. NO BLAME GAMES: When you’re facing

struggles, don’t blame each other. Instead, work together with mutual respect to find solutions. 33. NO WAY FOR MY WAY: It was Dr Gary Chapman who said "Neither husbands nor wives can have their own way and a successful marriage at the same time". Don't insist on "my way". Give way for "our way". That is the secret of a great marriage. 34. FLIRTING IS ALLOWED: Never stop flirting with your spouse and never start flirting with anyone else! Home flirting is great. Flirting with someone else destroys trust and the marriage. 35. NO PSYCHOLOGIST IN THE HOUSE: Don’t expect your spouse to read your mind. Communicate your thought and feelings. Take time to talk to each other

37. DONT PUT YOUR MARRIAGE ON HOLD: Don’t put your marriage on hold for the sake of your career, hobbies or any other pursuit. Don’t sacrifice your marriage in the pursuit of lesser things. 38. MAKE PARTNER'S FOCUSED DECISIONS: Consider your husband/ wife in EVERY decision you make because all decisions will impact them in some way. 39. DON’T BREAK THE POT: Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other! Don't break the pot of your marriage. The pot belongs to God your maker. 40. BE BIAS IN FAVOUR OF YOUR SPOUSE: Let everybody around you see that you are biased in favour of your spouse. Let them know where your loyalty lies. There are some things they will never bring to you if they know your stand already. 74

41. HUMOUR MONGER: Be full of humour. Joke with your spouse. Crack healthy jokes, make your home lively. 42. MAKE SEX HAPPEN: Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!

5 PEOPLE THAT YOU NEED IN MARRIAGE Every marriage needs five principal people to function the way God made it to be. These people will become a great team to build your marriage and family life. 1. THE ALMIGHTY GOD: He is the founder and manufacturer of marriage; He is the person you need most in your marriage. Never neglect Him; never abandon Him; never forsake Him. He is the Principal Partner of your marriage; recognise Him to be so, honour Him, serve Him, worship Him and give Him a room in your marriage. Follow his principles for marriage and family life; you can never go wrong. John 15:5 (KJV) 2. LOVING HUSBAND: Another team member of a successful marriage is the husband. He is the appointed physical head of the family. According to God’s principle, he is expected to love his wife, protect her and live joyfully with her. He is expected to give Godly leadership to his household and provide for his family. Ephesians 5:25 (KJV) 3. SUBMISSIVE WIFE: The heart of the marriage team is occupied by the wife. She is expected to be submissive to her husband, respect him and be a homemaker. She is expected to be a loving and caring mother and a keeper at home. Ephesians 5:22 (KJV) 4. MATRIMONIAL TUTOR: Every family needs a matrimonial tutor who will give matrimonial Intelligence. Marriage needs continuous learning and upgrade. Every family should have a marriage mentor whose programs they attend regularly; read his books and listen to his tapes to grow their marriage and become better in every area of their family life which includes family finance, family health, parenting, etc.

Psalm 25:9 (KJV) 5. UNBIASED COUNSELLOR: Every marriage also needs a trained, certified, anointed and unbiased marriage counsellor who they can contact anytime for help. A family matrimonial tutor can also double as the family marriage counsellor. But sometimes, it may not work that way. Someone could be your tutor without you having physical access to him. You must access your marriage counsellor and you must be ready to open up and obey his or her counsel. Proverbs 24:6 (KJV)

PRACTICAL WAYS TO DISCUSS SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE HOT, SEXY AND TANTALIZING

can also involve hugging, looking him/her straight in the eyes and winking your eyes. Hands can also be used. Eyes and body movements are all nonverbal communication to say “ I want you” without opening your mouth.

3. Subtle Verbal Communication: This can involve soft whispering, blowing air into his/her ear, telling your spouse to help you to scratch your back. Massage your body, shave your pubic hair, apply body cream on your back, scrub your back for you as you bathe, are subtle ways to invite your spouse for sex without really To enjoy your sex life, you must employ all forms of comsaying what you want. munication for better sex life. They are:

1. Kind–Deed Communication: I think one of the ways to get the best from your bedroom is to use kind-deed communication. Men especially should know that: A wife whose heart you touch is the woman whose pants you can open. Kind-deed is needed during the day to set the mood for the night. The woman you kiss during the day is the woman who will embrace you in the night. A woman you kick will only embarrass you. If you want to go to ‘HEAVEN’ by ‘ELEVEN’ you need to start to prepare for it by ‘SEVEN’.

4. Direct Verbal Communication: This can only happen among “librated” couples who are free with each other; and who are not under any inhibition. It involves moving close to your spouse to say what you really want to say, though in a romantic and or humorous way. - As the wife lies down on 2. Non-Verbal Communication: This may the bed, the husband can join her, hold her tightly, involve putting on good scrub her back and say, night dresses without “fine girl, prepare, I want underwear, sitting on his lap and touching his penis. to deposit in your It can also involve grabbing down-below bank account”. her from the back, - You can also say baby holding her tightly and “Uncle Joe” (A couple’s pet touching her breast. It name for penis while they 77 Give her a helping hand in the kitchen. Help with the children's homework, house chores, etc. Speak kindly to her, give unsolicited gifts, work your way into her heart if you want unfettered access to her bedroom. If you bully her, she will not keep you busy in the bedroom.

wcall vagina “Babe Susie”) is standing at attention. He really wants to visit Babe Susie. Construct your grammar, have your sex vocabulary only for the two of you. Uncle Joe and Babe Susie can be anything. The man's genital could be, “Big Bob”, “Aaron’s Rod”, “Papa P”, “Uncle Sam”, “Good piclan”, “Bulldozer”, “Striker”, “Ballistic gun”, Gold digger, etc. The woman's genital can also be called Aunty Joyce, Honey pot, downbelow, Hot pot, Honey well, Land of milk and honey, etc. Feel free to give your own name) - Gently hold her hand and say, "Everything about you is sweet. Your food, your character and your bedroom actions. You are just sweet, a complete woman. - The woman can also say, “Boy you are strong down there. Yesterday, you won. Today is my day. I will show you pepper. Come and dig it with me”. - After good sex, the woman can say, "Man, that is a good digging. You made me do 360 degrees. You deserve to be given the husband of the year award." - The man may also say, "Girl, that was fantastic, that was acrobatic. You nearly made me forget my name. You are super!" 5. Written

Communication: This can involve text messages, short written notes, letters or emails. - You can send text messages to him in the office saying, “Honey, your baby girl is hot for you today, come back home quickly." - “I am totally edible today, dressed just for you. Be prepared for the unusual tonight." - “Making love to you still excites me; I am expecting you for another journey to Jerusalem." - "Looking forward to welcoming Uncle Joe tonight. You can stay in the office. Send Uncle Joe home quickly, ‘Aunty Susie’ is ready, hot." - “Uncle Joe, belongs to me. Why do you keep him in the office? I am dying to welcome him." You can also write a sealed note, paste it on the steering of his car, trouser pocket, mobile phone, inside his Bible, under his pillow, the book he is reading, etc. Instruct him to tear after reading, you can write something like this; - Flaming and hot, I am all for you tonight. I crave your body, romantically yours. - Invitation to a super date. Date- tonight, venue – our well-decorated bedroom, side attraction–dinner in the bedroom, candle night, sexy touch, all for you,

main attraction – super, super sex like never before. - Last night was something else; tonight will be something, something great. Expect cloud 7 performance. - Fulfilling your dreams tonight. Come for the best sex of your life. Only for you. Totally yours. - Please make me a woman tonight, expecting 1,000,000 deposits down– below, you will not regret you did it. - Promise you fire performance tonight. My battery is fully charged for you. You can’t beat me to it, waiting. Sexually yours. - Yesterday was my day; you gave it to me. Today is your day; I will give it to you, raw. Don’t be ashamed or feel guilty to write things like these to your spouse. You are not sinning; you are only making the most of your God-given marriage. The Book of Songs of Solomon in the Bible is erotic. It was not written mistakenly. 6. Mixed: To have the best sex life, use mixed communication. This involves all the five communication methods mentioned above, as you use subtle, use direct verbal, non-verbal and written forms. It will help your sex life and your marriage. 78

WIFEHOOD

105 WAYS TO REKINDLE THE FIRE OF LOVE IN YOUR HUSBAND By Bisi Adewale

o everything womanly possible to win your husband to your side. If a strange woman takes away your man, it is your fault. If you can afford to hate your man, you cannot avoid a broken home. The husband of a wise woman is a king. The owner of a foolish woman is a troubled man. You cannot claim to love your God if you do not love your man. Your man is a god you can see; love him. Demonstrate your love to your God through him. The man you love is the man that is your own. The man you do not love is the man that would be lured away. If you fail to love him, he will lord you. If you love him, you have won him. If you truly love your husband, then you will show it. Love is not only a feeling; it is an action. Therefore, learn to express your love to your man in every way. 79

Do everything "womanly" possible to show your love to your husband. It is Godly. Don't allow the so-called "African mentality" to affect you. Africans believe love needs not to be expressed, especially by women. Please note that it is scriptural to express your love to your man. Don't just say, "I know I love him." Show it to him. Remember he is your husband, not a boyfriend. Do not allow strange women to use "unusual caring" to lure him away. Love is a feeling that is expressed in actions. To demonstrate love to your man, do the following: 1. Say, "I love you" often and pray seriously and constantly about your love life. 2. Tell him you are happy to be married to him. 3. Prepare his meals promptly. 4. Listen when he talks. 5. Pray with him often. 6. Forgive him quickly when he offends you. This

will surprise him and make him want to change. 7. Sit on his lap when you are alone. 8. Encourage him when he is challenged 9. Tell him he is handsome, brilliant and wealthy. 10. Tell him he is your love. 11. Help him to polish his shoes, as he prepares for work. 12. Help him to wash his car. 13. Occasionally, serve his breakfast in the bedroom before he gets up, especially on Saturdays. You can even spoon-feed him. 14. Sit down with him to watch football matches or other TV programmes. 15. Learn some things about his job and discuss with him. 16. Scrub his back as you take your bath together. 17. Post a love letter to his office. 18. Call him on phone just to say, "I love you" 19. Give him gifts often. 20. Tell him he is wonderful

21. Tell him he is the best thing that ever happened to you after salvation 22. Ask for his opinions often and follow them. This will boost his ego 23. Occasionally, put on his shirt (even if it is not your size) as you do house chores 24. Place your head on his lap when alone 25. Flaunt him before your friends. 26. Commend your kids by saying they took after their father. 27. Give him a love letter when he is in the toilet or bathroom. 28. Celebrate his birthday elaborately 29. Give him a surprise kiss often. 30. Make the first move in bed. Tell him gently, I want your touch, my love. Don't be ashamed of it. He is your Husband. 31. Write love poems for him and read them to him as he relaxes. 32. Sit by his side when he is driving. 33. Make sure you sit by his side whenever you are on public transport. 34. Always hold his

hands or put your head in his hands. 35. Put your hands in his when crossing the road. 36. Welcome him home with a hug. 37. Kneel to ask for forgiveness when you offend him. 38. Never disagree with him publicly. 39. Laugh when he cracks jokes, even though you have heard them so many times. It shows him you love him. 40. Read the Bible to his hearing. 41. Never disagree with him when he disciplines the children. 42. Massage his back as he sleeps. 43. Always allow him to teach you and ask questions. 44. Hang his picture in your office and the room. 45. Make the house clean always. 46. Place your hands on his shoulder, as you travel together. 47. When he is not driving during trips, place your head on his chest or lap and sleep off 48. Love his mother and other relations. 49. Be ready to solve the problems of 80

your in-laws. 50. Specially serve him always. 51. Learn the "due time" of communication. 52. Never raise your voice when talking to him. 53. Whisper "I love you" into his ears when he is in a crowd. 54. Wink your eyes lovingly to him from a distance in public. Then say "I love you" inaudibly. He will grab the message and smile. 55. Smile at him always. 56. Put the mattress on the floor sometimes and make love on the ground. 57. Do pillow fights and "love wars" always (Take one pillow and use it to beat" him whenever he teases you; give him the other pillow and let him beat you too). 58. Block the way as he is about going out for an occasion and demand for the debt of a kiss, a hug" and "Three I love yous" 59. When you travel, buy biscuits for your children, but a more expensive one for your husband. Never give him when your children are there. If they see it, tell them it belongs to Daddy. 60. Write a note and drop it in his pocket as he goes out in the morning. Let it read "come back home early today because I want to have a feel of your gentle touch". 61. Don't hide anything

from him. Share your feelings with him. 62. Create time to be alone with him. Take your children to your trusted aunt or friends. 63. Help him to unbutton his shirt after an outing. 64. Help him to dress up. 65. He deserves cold water after a welcome hug on a dry day. 66. Never use your children's names to call him. Instead, call him "My lord, My sweetie, My love, My darling, My dear, sweetheart, etc." 67. Make sure his clothes are always clean and well ironed. 68. Love his friends. 69. Love his hobbies 70. Always lock the door when you are alone in the room. It tells him he is always welcome. 71. Let him help you as you dress up. 72. Always strip yourself naked when making love with him. It shows the difference between you, the owner and other strange women. 73. Thank him after every lovemaking session. 74. Thank him for eating your food 75. Beg him to unloose your hair for you when you plait or weave them. 76. Follow him to the barbing saloon. 77. Take a stroll together in the evening. 78. Drive leisurely together. 79. Remind him of sweet

memories of your courtship days or honeymoon. 80. Rearrange the sitting room. Decorate it to welcome him whenever he travels. 81. Return the balances whenever he gives you money to buy anything. It will make him trust you. 82. Make it your habit to wash his undies. It is another way to show you own him. 83. Feed him during meals 84. Look straight into his eyes with love whenever he appreciates you 85. Whenever he is travelling, tell him you will miss him. 86. Buy an "I miss you" card. Put it inside his travelling bags. 87. When he comes back, tell him how much you missed him. 88. Organise a welcome party for him. 89. Hold his hand as you watch TV together and continue to squeeze them. 90. Tell your children how much you love him. 91. Appreciate him when he is there whenever you have the opportunity of addressing a crowd. 92. Blow a gentle breeze into his ear. 93. Take his hand to sensitive areas of your body as you "play" love together 94. Hold on to him whenever you feel you are in danger (You can even exaggerate this: seeing an 81

ordinary rat in the room is enough for you to do this.) He will feel like your protector. 95. Welcome his visitors lovingly. 96. Make sure your children are well dressed. 97. Suggest one or two ideas and tell him he has the final say 98. Assess his dressing from time to time when he is about to go out and tell him he looks great. 99. Tell him to help you scrub your back as you take your bath together. 100. Ask him to choose what to wear for you and ask him to comment on your dressing. 101. Put your picture in his suitcase as you pack his bag for him when travelling. 102. Caress his hair as you sit together. Pray daily for his need and that of his immediate family. 103. Send gifts through him to his mother. 104. Accept him unconditionally. 105. Buy a copy of the book, Ten Commandments for Husbands and give it to him. You can even read it to his hearing.

wgenerally love this. 4. Appreciate her good cooking, and it will MEN MATTERS get better. 5. Listen to her when she talks. Women generally love to talk to their men. 6. Sit on her lap when you are alone. Act childishly a little. 7. Help her polish her shoes. 8. Forgive her quickly when she offends you. She will love you the more and forgive you also. 9. Pray with her. Pray for her family, business, job, etc. 10. Follow her to the beauty salon and choose a style for her. 11. Encourage her in times of trouble. A husband in need is a husband indeed. 12. Help her wash her undies. (It is not f you truly love her bad. I help my wife wash hers. It shows wholeheartedly, help her in the how much you love her). kitchen with your HANDS. If you are 13. Help her in the kitchen. Let romance manly enough to father a baby, then be start in her office. humanly enough to babysit. Your wife 14. Learn some things about her job and doesn't just need a CAR; she also needs discuss it your CARE. Your wife is the greatest gift God has ever given to you; appreciate her. 15. Answer her question promptly and Don't lose your wife before you value her. never scold her for her unintelligent If you treat your wife like a queen, she will questions. 16. Post a love letter to her office. treat you like a king. 17. Scrub her back as you take your bath Your wife should be precious to you. She needs your appreciation, support, prayers together. and assurance. Above all, she needs your 18. Caress her very well before sex. Don’t just jump on her. Make sure she is wet love. Make her a captive of your love by before you make a penis entrance. Never loving her. Love is not just for courtship rape her. or honeymoon; it is forever. It is not just 19. Give her gifts often, no matter how when you are trying to win her. NO! It is for as long as she is your own. Note that it small it is. No gift is too big or too small is unscriptural not to express your love to for your darling wife. 20. Tell her she is the best thing that has her. Hence, be ready to take HOLY STEPS ever happened to you after salvation. that will turn your home around. 21. Call her on the phone just to say, “I Welcome on board. love you” Hold her close to your chest. Place your 22. Blow a gentle breeze in her ears and right hand on her head and start to pray say "I love you" romantically. for her sincerely. 23. Place your head on her lap when alone 1. Say "I love you" often in the living room. 2. Tell her you are happily married to 24. Give her a pet name (Darling, Dear, her Honey, Mine, D, MD, etc.) 3. Tell her she is beautiful. Women 25. Praise her publicly. I don’t think there 83

105 WAYS TO REKINDLE THE FIRE OF LOVE IN YOUR WIFE By Bisi Adewale

is anything you could do to make her happier than this. Let the whole world know how wonderful your wife is. 26. Never embarrass her in public. It will kill her morale and affect her psychologically if you do. 27. Give her a weekend off. Take over the affairs of the kitchen throughout. 28. Appreciate her after every sexual act. You won't need to force her before she surrenders herself to you tomorrow. 29. Make sure she reaches orgasm before penetration. This will make her enjoy having sex with you. 30. Talk about how good she is to your friends. 31. Focus on her good points and overlook her mistakes. You will realize she is not bad after all. 32. Celebrate her birthday elaborately and never forget your wedding anniversary. 33. Give her a surprise kiss often 34. Allow her to make the ‘first move’ in bed. Don’t be embarrassed or embarrass her if she does that. 35. Write love poems for her. You don't need to be a "Wole Soyinka” to give your wife a good poem. 36. Read your love poems to her hearing as you relax together. 37. Encourage her to sit by your side as you drive. 38. Make sure she sits by your side whenever you are on public transport. 39. Smile when she cracks jokes, even if they do not amuse you. 40. Hold her hand as you cross the road. She will feel secure. 41. Be humorous. Crack jokes. Let her have a healthy laugh and let the home relax. 42. Never abuse her in the presence of the children. 43. Hang her picture in your office and room. 44. Read the Bible to her hearing 45. Treat her like your first daughter, no matter her age. Pamper and spoil her a

little. 46. Be ready to defend her before your family. NEVER gang up against her. 47. Love her mother and her relations; she will love your people too. 48. Whisper “I love you”, “You are beautiful”, “You look like a queen’’ "You are best among women" to her ears in public. 49. Wink your eyes lovingly to her from a distance in public. Then say, “I love you" inaudibly. She will grab the message and smile. 50. Put the mattress on the floor sometimes and make love to her on the ground occasionally. 51. Always do pillow fights and love wars. (Use one pillow to beat her when she teases you and give her the other pillow to begin the holy war) 52. Be open to her. Never be secretive. Let her know your mind. 53. Let her sit on your lap as you caress her. 54. Never shout at her but speak to her with love. 55. Buy her a new set of undies to surprise her. 56. Help her iron her clothes. 57. Love her hobbies; don’t force yours on her. 58. Make sure the door is locked when you are alone in your room. It will make her relaxed when she knows nobody can bump in. 59. Take her out for meals or social occasions. 60. Cut short your journey just to be with her. 61. Make it your habit to cuddle her, especially at night. 62. Be gentle and courteous with her. Treat her like a woman 63. Be biased in her favour always. Support, defend and protect her. 64. Never reveal her secret to any family member, friends of you or her, church members, etc. 84

65. Treat her with all respect (Eph. 5:33). She deserves it. 66. Let her help you as you dress up for an outing. 67. Help her as she dresses up for an outing. 68. Take your time to undress her before sex. It will arouse and prepare her for sex. 69. Let her undress you too; relax and enjoy yourself. 70. Always strip naked when making love to her. It shows the difference between her and any other woman. 71. Block the way as she goes out for an occasion and request for payment of a debt of "a kiss', "a hug' and "Three I love yous". 72. Buy gifts for her after occasional trips. 73. Create time to be alone with her 74. Thank her for a job well done after every lovemaking session. 75. Help her to unloose her

hair after plaiting or weaving them. 76. Assess her dressing, hair, etc. always. Praise her for it. 77. Take a stroll in the evening to study nature and worship God together. 78. Take her hands into sensitive areas in your body as you 'play' love before sex. 79. Encourage her to take your hands to where she wants to be caressed. It's good for both of you. 80. Take time to know the sensitive areas of her body that arouse her the most. Let your hands always be in those places as you caress her (could be buttocks, breasts, lips, inner thighs, neck, armpit, hair, nose, ear, clitoris, etc.) 81. Start caressing her from the top to down: Hair, nose, ear, breast, etc. Never jump on her for sex. Be patient to prepare her for the show. 82. Drive leisurely together.

83. Stroll out hand in hand. Don’t be ashamed to do that. 84. Remind her of sweet memories of your courtship or honeymoon days. 85. Re-arrange the sitting room and decorate it to welcome her whenever she travels. 86. Feed her during meals. 87. Whenever she is travelling, tell her, "I will miss you". 88. Buy an "I miss you" card and put it inside her travelling bag. 89. When she comes back, tell her you missed her. 90. Organize a welcome party for her. 91. Hold her hands and squeeze them as you watch TV together. 92. Tell your children how much you love her. 93. Put a small love note in her bag. 94. Follow her to the hospital for prenatal treatment. 95. Help her carry the baby and do something to help her in the kitchen. 96. Wake up in the middle of the night, place your hands on her head and start blessing her. 97. Always refer to her as, "my wife' when you are talking to your children. Say, "Where is my wife?" Don't say, "Where is your mother?" 98. Buy a copy of my book, "WIVES VERSUS MOTHERS-IN-LAW. 85

WHEN WILL THE BATTLE CEASE?" for her. Click here to buy it now. 99. Don't just be a husband, be a lover. Don't just give her a CAR; give her your CARE. 100. Always be ready to defend, protect, nourish and cherish her. 101. Always make yourself available to her. Never behave like an ordinary roommate. 102. Carry her along when making decisions. She will love it. 103. Help her to babysit. If she is a NURSING MOTHER, you are a NURSING FATHER. When she is on maternity leave, you are on paternity leave too. 104. As you pray together, thank God for giving her you. Say all her good qualities in the prayer. That will make her more loving, caring and open to changes. 105. Buy a copy of the book TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR WIVES by Bisi Adewale. Give it to her to read. You can also read aloud to her hearing. Don't forget to buy copies of the book TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR COUPLES too.

SINGLENESS

14 KINDS OF LOVERS YOU MUST RUN AWAY FROM

ere, you will be able to know the kind of lover you are. You will also be able to know who your lover really is. 1. Parasitic Lover: This lover is lazy. He/She has no personal plan or vision but depends on his/her partner for livelihood. This is common among ladies. Some men are in the habit too. Never marry a person who is not ready to work or has no vision. They are parasitic and dangerous. Don't marry them in the name of love. Never marry a liability. 2. Kill and Go Lover: He/ She has no other plan than to have sex with you. It is very common among men. They can give you anything, tell you anything, take you anywhere and do anything for you if they have not slept with you. They will pretend to be in genuine love to have their way. As soon as they succeed, they will elope and go for another "catch". Millions of girls have fallen prey to these wolves called men because they are not

careful enough. A man who keeps demanding sex is a wolf. Never think you can use sex to keep him; it is wrong. Men go away after sleeping with girls. Don't allow him to have sex with you. As soon as he tries to touch your lap, breast, etc., run from him before he 'kills' you and 'goes' away. 3. Bazaar Lover: They are ready to shower gifts on ladies, give huge amounts of money, give cards, flowers, letters, e-mails, calls, etc., generously. They oblige a lady's demands just to prove that they love her. However, they want to use these gifts to outdo any other man in the lady's life to secure her attention. As soon as they win the love of the lady and sleep with her, they dump her for another prey. Don't be fooled by what the man is giving you; you will pay dearly for it. Be wise and save your life. 4. Feeding Bottle Lovers: These are immature teenagers involved in love affairs. They are not in love 87

business of adults when you are still below 20 years old. You may ruin your life. Please wait for your time.

5. Wounded Lovers: These are jilted and wounded ex-lovers in search of quick "healing". They are desperate, aggressive and possessive to have another lover. They always find it difficult to trust anybody, 3. Bazaar Lover: They are themselves or even the ready to shower gifts on voice of God. They are ladies, give huge amounts always suspicious and of money, give cards, cynical. Some have the flowers, letters, e-mails, wrong mentality on the calls, etc., generously. They opposite sex. Also, some oblige a lady's demands are looking forward to just to prove that they love going into another her. However, they want to relationship for vengeance use these gifts to outdo any on anyone that comes their other man in the lady's life way. to secure her attention. As soon as they win the love of 6. Marriage Lovers: These the lady and sleep with her, are men and women who they dump her for are advanced in age and another prey. Don't be desperate for partners to fooled by what the man be married to. is giving you; you will pay dearly for it. Be wise and 7. Public Lover: This save your life. person does not love you deeply. However, he/she is 4. Feeding Bottle Lovers: proud to be associated with These are immature you because of your status, teenagers involved in love position, gifts, family affairs. They are not in love background, attainments, but infatuated like etc. He/She wants everyone Caroline. They know around to know he/she is nothing about what life or your lover by holding your love is. That is why many hands in public, of them emerge wounded, introducing you to anybody battered and destroyed that cares to listen, etc. But from such relationships. sincerely, there is no place Love affairs are not for for you in his/her heart. teenagers. Wait for your Such a relationship will be time. Do not go into the dry and uninteresting, but

in public, he/she is all over you. Be careful with such people. They may use you to achieve their ambition, climb the ladder of fame and dump you later. 8. Nicodemus Lover: This person claims to love you dearly but wants your relationship with him or her to be a secret one. This person is dangerous. Never allow him to manipulate you. Anybody that is not proud of you in public should forget about you in secret. 9. Pendulum Lovers: These people are unpredictable. They are hot in love today, but cold tomorrow. You can't predict their mood. They are inconsistent, unreliable, undependable and bad lovers. They may show you very sweet love today but may turn against you tomorrow. They will fight and keeping malice with you for no reason. Avoid such dangerous people. 10. Master Lovers: These are bossy, arrogant and proud, people who lord over anyone they are in love with. They can't be corrected or advised. They are always in a world of their own, and their ideas are the best for them. They despise anyone's help or support. They end up becoming the 88

Commander-in-Chiefhusbands or iron ladies. Please avoid them; they will make your life miserable. 11. Yes Lovers: These are the opposite of master lovers. They lack personal initiatives. They are foolishly in love, and they fear their lovers like God. Anything goes with them. Whatever their lovers say is just fine. Ladies who are like this give in to the man's sexual advances. They are foolish because of love.

They are ready to wait till their wedding night for sex. Such lovers are teachable and open to correction. They are proud of their partners and ready to introduce them to their family and friends. 14. The Real Lover: He is the Lord Jesus Christ, the lover of our soul. He gave us His life to save us from our sins. There is no man, living or dead that can love us as He does. If you want true love, embrace Him.

If you want real love, give Him your life. He is all you need, and He is all you have. Anybody who has not given Jesus His life cannot love you truly. You cannot enjoy your marriage without Him. Embrace Him; He loves you. He is the man of love you have been looking for. He is your lord.

12. Suffocating Lovers: These are possessive lovers who will not allow their partners to talk to any other person. They always want their lovers by their side without giving them a gap. They want to take all the decisions all in the name of love. Some men can beat up their girlfriends or wives if they are found talking to another man innocently. Get loose from such people whose love is not genuine. Do not put yourself in danger. 13. Genuine Lover: These people are genuinely in love. They are born again, God-fearing and willing to make sacrifices for their lovers. They are ready to obey the laws of God as well as the rules and regulations of the church.

HELPLINE FOR SINGLES Q: Sir, I am engaged to a brother, who I love dearly. But he has uncontrollable anger. When he is angry, nobody can stop him. He has beaten me four times in our 14 months of courtship. After each occasion, he will profusely beg me after realizing his mistake. Sir, I am tired of being beaten. But I can't just think of leaving him. (Mind you, he is born again) I love him so much and I know what love is. But this beating is too much. What do I do? Grace A: My sister, the choice is yours. Whether to continue with this "Mike Tyson", who will make you his punching bag for life or retrace your step to find somebody who will appreciate you enough to pamper you. That guy has beaten you four times in a 14-month courtship. He will become a bully, a wife-beater, a dictator and the headache of the family. If I were you, I will leave him alone and wait for somebody with the spirit of meekness. Please, bear in mind that a man who beats you can kill you. Q: Sir, I love a guy very

much, and he loves me too. But he has been pestering me for sex. He even threatened to dump me if I kept resisting him. I really love this guy, and I do not want to lose him. At the same time, I don't want to lose my virginity. What do I do? Worried girl A: This young man does not love you. He only loves to have sex with you. Period. If you give in to his advances, you will surely lose him. Let me warn you, "an orange squeezed too much is a carbage". When you allow him to sleep with you, he will surely dump you. If he says he will leave you, call his buff. There are better men outside there. By the way, who is he to threaten you? Is that love? Love doesn't threaten anyone. Do not bother yourself. Wait on God, and he will satisfy you. Let the sex hunter go away. Q: Sir, I am engaged to a young man and due for marriage later this year. But his parents are insisting I become pregnant before marrying their son. Sir, what do? A: Before pregnancy, there

would have been a sexual relationship. This is fornication for singles. Do not listen to them. Obey God. Resist any demonic suggestion from any angle. Don't allow anybody to draw you at loggerheads with God. If the brother obeys his parents and dumps you because of that, do not worry. The Lord will surprise you. Just be prayerful; you will rejoice at the end.

HOME LIFELINE

(For married couples) Q: I love my husband with all my heart. We've been living happily since we got married about five years ago. Our union is blessed with a 4-year-old child. Exactly three years ago, my husband became impotent. I have been keeping this to myself until my mother's pressure to give birth to another child became unbearable for me. I had to open up to her. Ever since then, things have never remained the same again. My mother told all members of my family. They are all pressing me to leave my husband, who they often refer to as a toothless bulldog. My husband is not helping matters too. He has taken to drinking. Sometimes, he doesn't come home, and he stays out for three days at least. It is like he is tired of me. Sir, I am tired of this marriage. The pressure on me is unbearable. Can I divorce this man and end this trauma? Please advise me Mrs Dike A: Mrs Dike, I quite understand your situation and the kind of pressure

you must be undergoing. But let me ask: Assuming you are barren (thank God you are not), will you have loved it if your husband divorced you because of that? What will you tell him to do? To pray for you of course. This is the time to stand by your husband and demonstrate your love to him. You must not allow the enemy to take the glory. Q: Since my wife gave birth six months ago, sex for us has become a thing of the past. She claims that sperm can affect the baby during breastfeeding. Pastor, I am tired and sick of everything. I now hate the baby and even the mother. I don't enjoy staying at home again. Please tell me what to do. Frustrated man A: It is natural for women (especially first-timers) to abandon their husbands immediately after the arrival of a baby. This is due to ignorance. Let her know you feel. You may be surprised that she does not even know she is neglecting you. So, call her and discuss. Tell her your feelings and what she should do to help you. Moreover, you need to give her a helping hand in

raising the baby because it is demanding. So, if you want your wife's attention, then cuddle her and help with the diapers. Be a Dad, not just a father.

WOMANHOOD

WHO IS A WOMAN? Having a sonorous voice does not make you a woman Having a vagina does not make you a woman That you have free-flowing hair does not make you a woman. Straight legs and catwalking does not make you a woman The ability to have sex with a man till he forgets his mother’s name does not make you a woman. Having big and beautiful boobs does not make you a woman Having nice curves does not make you a woman Having beautiful hips doesn't make you a woman. Having a beautiful face doesn’t make you a woman All these make you qualify to be a female, biology, but do not make you a woman. A woman is the one who feeds a man with encouragement and ideas A woman is the one who helps a man to save and invest wisely. A woman turns a zero man into a hero. A woman grows from a lass 92

to become a minister to her husband, children and others. A woman is virtuous, not a virus A woman is the body of her husband, not a burden A woman is the one who grows from a female to be a pillar A woman does not run her mouth with sarcasm and insult just to prove a point. Rather, her words are gracious and can heal a broken heart. A woman is the one who knows when to talk and to keep quiet. A woman is the one who doesn't leak secrets. A woman is the one who is contempt with what she has, not the one who sells herself for material things. A woman is a manager, a caretaker, a womb that can nature and birth destinies. A woman doesn't do trending things, but she is reserved and has a taste of a queen. A woman doesn't look down on any man because of his present state of life and financial status. Rather, she encourages any man to get better. A woman is the one who does not just bear babies. She bears ideas and inspiration anytime, anywhere. A woman is the one a man can cry on her shoulders and not feel humiliated for doing so nor lose his value. A woman is not the one

who deceives a man just to eat his money, but the one who is honest and sincere in any relationship. A woman is not the one who makes men feel terrible, but the one a man can run to for comfort. A woman is the one who will spoil a man with honour and respect because there lies her strength and integrity. A woman is an influence, a nation and a helper. Many are females, but only few can be called a woman. Now ask yourself today, Am I a woman?

FOOD AND SPICES

17 Amazing wonders of Sea salt You need to know By Anna Dosu

Unlike refined salt, sea salt is obtained naturally from the sea. It does not go through any processing that alters the natural make-up of the salt. Thus, it contains many essential trace minerals that your body needs to be healthy. This natural salt is healthier than the other refined salts available in the market. What does sea salt do to the body?

1. Blood Sugar: Sea salt helps in maintaining balanced levels of blood sugar 2. Encourages Restful Sleep: Sea salt baths have a calming and soporific effect, thus helping in inducing profound, rejuvenating sleep. 3. Normal Heartbeat: Sea salt aids in maintaining healthy levels of blood pressure and helps to normalize irregular heartbeats 4. Prevents Hair Loss: One of the lesser-known benefits of sea salt is the stimulation of healthy hair growth. 5. Muscle Cramps: Sea salt is beneficial in relieving muscle cramps and helps in enhancing muscular strength. 6. Reduces Acidity: Sea salt helps in alkalizing the cells of the body by facilitating the excretion of excess acids through urination. Sea salt is a major source of sodium and should be consumed in appropriate quantities. 7. Aching Feet: Soaking your tired feet in a warm sea salt solution helps to relax the muscles, and relieve the soreness and pain in your aching feet.

8. Strong Immune System: Sea salt naturally helps you to build up a strong immune system so that you can fight off the cold virus, the fever and flu, allergies and other autoimmune disorders. 9. Alkalizing: Sea salt is alkalizing to the body, as it has not been exposed to high heat and stripped of its minerals, nor does it have any harmful man-made ingredients added to it. Thus, it can help you to prevent and reverse high levels of acids in the body, which in turn eliminates the risks for serious and lifethreatening diseases. 10. Weight Loss: Believe it or not, but sea salt can also help you with weight loss. It helps the body create digestive juices so that the foods you eat digest faster. It helps prevent buildup in the digestive tract, which eventually can lead to constipation and weight gain.

effective in reducing inflammation in the respiratory system. Thus the production of phlegm is slowed down so that you can breathe easier again. Some say that sprinkling sea salt on the tongue after drinking a glass of water is just as effective as using an inhaler. But the great thing about sea salt is that it has no side effects when taken in moderation. 13. Heart Health: When salt is taken with water, it can help to reduce high cholesterol levels, high blood pressure and help to regulate an irregular heartbeat. Thus sea salt can help to prevent atherosclerosis, heart attacks and strokes. 14. Diabetes: Sea salt can help reduce the need for insulin by helping to maintain proper sugar levels in the body. Thus the salt is an essential part of the diet if you are diabetic or at risk for the disease.

15. Osteoporosis: Just over 11. Skin Conditions: A sea 1/4 of the amount of salt salt bath can help to relieve in the body is stored in the dry and itchy skin as well bones, where it helps keep as serious conditions such them strong. When the as eczema and psoriasis. body lacks salt and water, The bath naturally opens it begins to draw sodium up the pores, improves from the bones. This can circulation in the skin and eventually lead to hydrates the tissues so that osteoporosis. Thus by your skin can heal. drinking plenty of water and consuming salt in 12. Asthma: Sea salt is moderation, you can 95

prevent osteoporosis. 16. Muscle Spasms: Potassium is essential for helping the muscles to f unction properly. Sea salt not only contains small amounts of potassium, but it also helps the body to absorb it better from other foods. Thus it is effective in helping to prevent muscle pains, spasms and cramps. 17. Depression: Sea salt has shown to be effective in treating various types of depression. The salt helps to preserve two essential hormones in the body that helps to better deal with stress. These hormones are serotonin and melatonin, which help you feel good, relax and sleep better at night. To get a regular supply of sea salt, please call me on 07032655262

HEALTH

HOW TO DEAL WITH PROSTATE ENLARGEMENT OR CANCER NATURALLY

(IF YOU ARE 40 YEARS OLD OR YOU WILL BE 40 YEARS OLD ONE DAY, YOU NEED TO READ THIS) I was in the office one day when my office phone rang. It was my uncle, I fondly call him Uncle Welle. He was a no-nonsense man who never called for greetings. His calls always had a reason. So, when I saw his call, I was a little apprehensive and he did not disappoint me. He told me bluntly, ‘’Iyi, where are you? I need to see you urgently. Serious wahala dey oh!’’ Within two hours, he was in my office and he did the unthinkable. He removed his underwear to show me a shocking sight. A rubber was covering his genital and he told me he used the rubber to urinate. He said he needed about 500,000 Naira urgently for a surgical operation to treat his enlarged prostate. He said he had been battling the problem for months before it got to this level, coupled with frequent visits to the hospital, sleepless nights, tiredness and pains. He said he started when he discovered that: He shook his penis whenever he urinated. His underwear was wet

with urine from his penis even after urinating. He had to stand up several times in the night to urinate and he was finding it difficult to sleep. He could not urinate even when he felt the urge. He could not hold his urine before getting to the toilet. He usually urinated on himself before reaching the toilet. As Uncle Welle talked, he began to cry. I was moved to tears. We wept so loud we forgot we were in the office. Where are we going to get the 500,000 Naira? Will my beloved uncle survive the surgery? If he does, will he ever remain the same again? His case was truly terrifying for me because I had several people in my life who died or never remained the same again after the prostate surgery. I began to remember a lot of people who had died of similar issues. My aunt’s husband that died after prostate surgery. My former classmate’s father whose corpse is still in the mortuary died of prostate cancer. He died just three weeks ago.

My wailing got the attention of my colleague in the next room. She and her guest ran into my office. I did not know I was loud. I narrated the case to them as deep as possible. I thought she could help me to raise the 500,000 Naira I needed urgently. But something strange happened, her guest was not moved at all. She said her father had the same problem about fifteen years ago and someone introduced a natural supplement to them. He got cured. He is now 87 without any trace of prostate issues. She gave me the phone number of the natural supplement supplier, and I called him immediately. Within 24 hours, we got our supply, and my uncle used it religiously.

stream. • A feeling of incomplete bladder emptying. • Difficulty starting urination. • A urinary stream that starts and stops. • Straining to urinate. • Returning to urinate again minutes after finishing.

MEANING OF PROSTATE All men are born with prostate. It is the manufacturing company of semen that carries spermatozoa during sexual intercourse. So, women do not have prostate The prostate is a gland that produces some of the fluid that carries sperm during ejaculation. The prostate gland surrounds the urethra, the tube through which urine passes out of the body. An enlarged prostate means the gland has grown bigger. The prostate is about the size of a walnut. It is located between the bladder and the penis and it stays that way until age 40. A healthy prostate is important in supporting sperm nourishment and transport. For an unknown reason, the prostate experiences a second growth spurt and can grow to the size of a lemon. All men will have their prostates a little bit enlarged as soon as they turn 40. This is a natural phenomenon. If it is not checked on time, it will enlarge and have serious problems.

STATISTICS

The enlarged prostate begins to interfere with the urethra, the tube inside the penis that carries urine and semen out of the body. The pressure can block the natural flow of urine (and semen), causing irritation. Enlargement of the prostate gland can cause symptoms, for example: • Dripping urine (penis dropping urine after you think you’ve empty your bladder) • Pain during urination. • Frequent urination. • Blood in the semen or urine. • Frequent pain or stiffness in the lower back, hips, pelvic or rectal area, or the upper thighs. Urinary incontinence (the inability to urinate). • Getting up frequently at night to urinate. • Urgency to urinate. • A weak or slow urinary

• In the UK, 11,287 men died of prostate cancer in 2014. • 1 in 4 black men will get prostate cancer at some point in their lives. • About 1 in 9 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during his lifetime. • Prostate cancer is more likely to develop in older men and black men. • About 6 in 10 cases are diagnosed in men who are 65 years or older, • Prostate cancer is rare in men under 40. • Prostate cancer incidence increases with age. The older you are, the greater your chance of developing it. • Although only about 1 in 350 men under age 50 will be diagnosed, the rate shoots up to 1 in 52 men for ages 50 to 59; 1 in 19 men for ages 60 to 69, and 1 in 11 men for ages 70 and older. • Nearly 60% of all prostate cancer cases are diagnosed in men over the age of 65

NATURAL WAY, BEST WAY

The best way to handle the prostate is by adopting natural ways through healthy living, eating the right food, vegetables, and taking supplements. I won’t recommend surgery for prostate enlargement except it is necessary. This is because of many complications that may come with it and because there are better, painless and safer alternatives that can be used for better health.

WHAT IS PROSTATE ENLARGEMENT? Prostate enlargement is known as Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH). It is a noncancerous increase in the size of the prostate gland.

SYMPTOMS OF PROSTATE ENLARGEMENT 1. JINGLE BELL: Try to watch elderly men urinating; something is common to all of them. They will shake their penis after urinating to remove the remaining droplets from the organ. This

could take several minutes. They were not doing this as teens or youths. That is a very good sign that the prostate is not as it used to be. Though there may be no pain or any trouble at this moment, it’s a pointer to greater trouble to come if nothing is done quickly. 2. DRIPPING: This happens after shaking the penis for some time. The man after taking a pee may think that his bladder has been emptied but may be shocked to that his underwear has been wet by his urine after keeping his penis back in there. It’s a case of stopping the engine but still running the tap. This also shows that the enlargement of the prostate has increased. Again, this will not give any pain or discomfort at the moment, but something must be done quickly. NOW! 3. NIGHT OWL: Waking up several times in the night is the next stage if nothing is done. This involves waking up to urinate 4 to 5 times before daybreak 4. TROUBLED TAP: difficulty in urinating 5. WEAK TAP: weak stream when urinating 6. BLOCKED TAP: the inability to urinate

7. BEEPING TAP: the feeling of urinating despite the number of times a person has urinated before within a short time. 8. FREE TAP FLOWING: the loss of bladder control

COMPLICATIONS OF PROSTATE ENLARGEMENT Having an enlarged prostate is not only painful; it can be embarrassing as well. To make matters worse, the condition can lead to lifethreatening complications. The swollen prostate can lead to further complication if you don’t treat it. It causes blockage by clogging your kidneys with urine. In such cases, acute urinary retention can happen. It may even develop into chronic kidney disease, kidney damage or infection, bladder damage, and bladder stones. Unfortunately, because most men will suffer from an enlarged prostate, particularly in their sixties and seventies, many men don’t worry when the symptoms appear and certainly wouldn’t take it seriously until it becomes life-threatening. This is a mistake.

PROSTATE ENLARGEMENT AND DANGERS OF SURGERY In the past, the only option for people with Prostate Enlargement [BPH] was a surgery called Trans Urethral Prostate Resection (TURP). This procedure involves shaving or removing small pieces of the enlarged prostate that block the flow of urine. TURP usually relieves the uncomfortable symptoms of an enlarged prostate but with the following problems: 1. SHORTER LIFE SPAN: Surgery does not prolong life. The study suggests that it reduces a person’s lifespan by a year or more. 2. IMPOTENCY: In some cases, TURP can cause impotence 3. LOSS OF URINATION CONTROL: the inability to control urination can also occur. 4. INFERTILITY: The most common side effect is retrograded ejaculation, that is, the ejaculated semen enters the bladder instead of shooting out of the penis. This may impair a man’s fertility.

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NATURAL WAY, BEST WAY

European and Asian doctors have traditionally been using a natural holistic approach to cure prostate enlargement with resounding success and with no side effects. Prostate patients respond so well to these natural solutions that over 90% of American doctors prescribe them rather than prescription drugs. The American Botanical Council registers various natural herbal or plants extracts as a treatment for prostate enlargement and these ingredients and many others are now made available. Numerous clinical trials reinforce their effectiveness. BENEFITS OF TREATING PROSTATE ENLARGEMENT NATURALLY • Your enlarged prostate or your prostate gland will be corrected and restored to its original healthy state. • You will never have to wake up frequently at night to urinate again; which means you will enjoy a peaceful sleep always. • The difficulty you experience when urinating will finally stop. • You will be able to empty your bladder at a go and urine dripping will finally stop. • If you’re seeing blood in your urine or you’ve developed a urinary tract infection due to poor t reatment of the enlarged prostate, it will also help you

successfully. • Your sex life and vitality will be restored and come back to life. • Most importantly, you’ll become healthy once again and thus prolong your life. So, even if you’ve tried other treatments in the past with little or no result, natural ways will help you.

4 in 1 NATURAL PROSTATE SOLUTION

The below products are certified and approved by NAFDAC and other international regulatory bodies, including, Aloe Science International Council, HALAL, Kosher Rating, etc. The following are contained in the pack 1. FOREVER ALOE BERRY NECTAR

nutrients. What could be a better way of consuming vitamins than by enjoying a daily glass of aloe vera drink while building the defence system against oxidative stress naturally? BENEFITS OF FOREVER ALOE BERRY NECTAR • Forever Aloe Berry Nectar supports the digestive system • It helps in maintaining natural energy levels • It’s good for problems of the reproductive tracts. • It is good in managing sexual dysfunctions in men and woman. • It is good for all cases of infertility in men and women • Aloe Berry Nectar is also good for the skin, liver and eyes. • Aloe Berry Nectar is good for urinary tract infections that affect the kidney, urinary bladder, urethra, etc. in both male and female. 2. FOREVER BEE PROPOLIS

Forever Aloe Berry Nectar is a bottled beverage made by Forever Living Products. It helps in preventing bacteria and it is very efficient in detoxification of the systems. It has the sweet taste of cranberry. Aloe Berry Nectar contains Vitamin E, C, B12, B6, B2, B1, and A, folic acid, and

Propolis is known over the years as one of the strongest natural antibiotics, fighting against bacteria, infections and keeping the immune system stronger and healthy. Bees collect the propolis to sterilize cells before the queen bee will lay eggs, and they completely cover all the internal walls of the hives with propolis to create a sterile hive and make a narrow entrance to the hive. It contains minerals, vitamins, amino acids, enzymes and flavonoid.

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Forever Nature-Min is an advanced, multi-mineral formula using new bio-available forms of minerals for maximum absorption. It provides minerals and traces minerals in a perfectly balanced ratio for maximum efficiency. Using a mineral base of natural seabed deposits, Nature-Min provides most of the key minerals found in the human body.

BENEFITS OF FOREVER BEE PROPOLIS

• It strengthens the immune system. • It supports the body’s defences. • It is good for all cases of germs, abscesses, tumours, and wounds, septic conditions, inflammations, etc. • It is very rich in vitamins, minerals, amino acids, enzymes, etc. • It has anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-viral and anti-parasitic properties. • It is commonly used in cases such as cough, cold, feverish conditions, digestive disorders, etc. Use: one tablet two times daily. 3. FOREVER NATURE MIN

BENEFITS OF FOREVER NATURE MIN • Forever Nature-Min is an excellent way to ensure that your body is getting the minerals and trace minerals it needs to meet the demands of a healthy, balanced lifestyle. • It supplies all the mineral elements the body needs to meet daily demands. • Minerals form and regulate body fluid, enzymes and hormones. • Minerals help in the building of bones and teeth, etc. • It supports muscle, brain and thyroid function 4. VITOLIZE FOR MEN Vitolize Men has been specially designed by Forever Living Products for men. Vitolize Men is a proper balance of nutrients that supports prostate health, urinary flow, sexual vitality and immune system support. This unique, comprehensive formulation supplies a highly effective blend of potent herbs like Saw

palmetto, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants to help maintain normal urinary flow, promote healthy testicular function and encourage optimal prostate health. It is a formula designed to promote the proper functioning of the urinary tract, testicles and prostate gland.

BENEFITS OF FOREVER VITOLIZE FOR MEN • It promotes good prostate health. • It contains Zinc which plays a vital role in supporting reproductive health. • It helps to maintain the urinary system. • It contains Vitamins C for a healthy immune system and Vitamin D which helps support the cardiovascular system and maintain healthy blood sugar levels. These are both essential for prostate health and are required for the production of hormones. • It helps to maintain the reproductive system. • It is a proprietary blend of saw palmetto and pumpkin

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seed that contain powerful antioxidants which are often difficult to get from diet. • It is an antioxidant. • It prevents premature signs of ageing and keeps skin looking younger and healthy

ONE BOOK TITLED NATURAL PREVENTATION AND MANAGEMENT OF PROSTATE ENLARGEMENT AND CANCER

My name is Dr Titus Anya. I am 64 years old. I began to have serious issues with my prostate when I was 55, as a medical doctor. I knew what it meant, the complications that can come with it, the limitations, and the side effects of TURP (the surgery for prostate using a layman language). I reached out to the author of this book, who I know is a natural health coach. He sent this book to me via mail, which I put into practice. Today, my prostate is as healthy as that of a 20-yearold.

THE SURGERY WAS CANCELED.

wake up several times to urinate before daybreak. It began to affect me, my life, I was already scheduled for my business, and my health. I prostate surgery when the went to the hospital and I was author of this book came to administered some drugs. It our Church for a seminar and did not seem to be having any taught about the issue of the effect. I became depressed, my blood pressure shot up prostate. I went to his office and one of my legs became the following week and he swollen. gave me the content of this I got in contact with the book. He told me to put it author of this book who into practice. taught me what to do. I was I went back to the hospital so surprised that the solution and told them to delay the was so close to me but did not surgery by 2 weeks. They know. I did all he asked me thought it was because I did to do. Like magic, everything not have money for the turned around for me within surgery. I practised what I weeks. What a sweet relief. was taught in the book religiously. When I got to the hospital after two weeks, I demanded that a new test should be carried out. My doctor was surprised about the improvement in my health. He postponed the surgery by another 4 weeks and encouraged me to continue whatever I was doing that got this great result. I went back there after 4 weeks for another test and was told my prostate was looking like that of a 30-yearold.

How Much Is The Cost Of This Pack?

I SLEEP VERY WELL NOW

I began to have serious problems with urination when I turned 50. I would

The cost of this solution pack plus the book is ₦55,000 If you place your order in the next 24 hours, you will receive a discount of ₦ -10,000 for the complete COMBO PACK That means the 4 IN-1 HIGH PROCURE PACK will go for a low price of ₦45,000, Excluding delivery cost.

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HOW TO ORDER

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PRACTICAL WAYS TO MAKE MONEY AND ENJOY IT WORDS OF WISDOM:

- If you have nothing to sell, you cannot excel. - Cultivate a skill, and it will pay you over and over again. Richard Templar - The only place to start is where you are. John Mason. - Hard work is the answer to a hard life. David Oyedepo - Every day comes bearing its gifts, untie the ribbons. Ruth Schabacker - The rich usually have several money-making schemes working for them. Richard Templar

PRACTICAL WAYS TO MAKE MONEY

1. Be a Thinker: You can’t make money with a passive brain. Be a thinker, stir up your mind, think great thoughts. Money making starts in the mind, not on

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the field. You can’t have financial rest at home if you allow your mind to remain shut down.

you can do. Look for a problem you can solve and the needs you can meet. Bring in what is scarce, introduce what is missing, people will pay for it.

skill. Self-development is the power of money; you can never be better than how far you are ready to get yourself developed. 2. Commit your ways into Nobody can develop you the hands of the Lord. Let for you. Self-effort is the God be in charge of all your 7. Work hard. Be diligent, biggest effort. You can’t efforts. Don’t go into any don’t ever be lazy. Hard grow taller than your head, venture without God. He work is the answer to a and you can’t be better knows the beginning from hard life. Prosperity is for a than how available you are the end and can make you hard worker; poverty is for to learning. Do you want a success. the lazy and the money to flow to you? Do sleepers. Hard work does you want your family to live 3. Bring out new ideas. not kill; it improves skills. in prosperity? Do you want Don’t just take action; think A hard worker is a king to make more money? This of how to do new things. in the making. You can’t is simple. Just Bring out new ideas, new amount to something in develop yourself. Know products, new services, do life if sleeping is your better than you knew last something new for a better hobby. If you must stand year. Be a better you, a new result. and sit with great men, you and improved edition of must stand tall to do great your personality. You can’t 4. Meet a need. Check the work. Money does not obey rise higher than you know. needs of people around a wishful thinker; it only and meet them. People are obeys principles. 9. Package yourself and ready to pay anyone who Whoever works according your product. The way you meets them. Make to its rule, will flow to the present yourself or and yourself a superstar by person irrespective of his your product will meeting needs. age, sex, colour, size, determine how far you will location, country or go in life. You may be good, 5. Use your gift. There is nationality. You can’t you may be able to do the something in you that can be lazy and turn things job better, your product be turned into around. No, you can’t may be the best and the money. Don’t allow your be fond of tying a towel most reliable, if they are gift to remain dormant. around your waist by 10:00 not well presented you will Make good use of it. If you am on Monday and amount be working against can dance, sing, write, to anything in life. If you yourself as it will be jump, run, draw, etc., that sleep when you are rejected or ignored. Your may be your hidden source supposed to be working, curriculum vitae (CV) of income. Don’t allow it to you will beg when you are must be well presented be wasted. supposed to be a giver. in a modernized way. You must go to that job inter6. There is work if there 8. Develop Yourself. For view well dressed and with is no job. Don’t wait for a money to flow to you, you boldness. Why will you go white-collar job, do must get yourself to that interview fidgeting, something. There may be developed. Nobody will pay people that will interview no job, but work is always you “PhD” money if you you are humans they are available. Think of what have an “O-level” brain and not ghosts. Face them with 106

boldness and get the job for them, your boldness and confidence at job interviews are part of your packaging for a new level. 10. Have something to sell. I told you that if you don’t have anything to sell, you cannot excel. Yes, you must have something to sell; you must have a product; productivity is the mother of prosperity. Your voice can be your product, ability, knowledge, dexterity and strength. They can all be turned into a product. What are you doing with your skill? Yes, your cooking skills, footballing skills? Do something about them, turn them into your products and become a great person. 11. Market your product. Take your product to the place where it is needed. Don’t keep it in your house; take it out, show people what you are, what you have and what you can do; the market will never come to you, but do yourself a favour; go to the market. Your success is not in your comfort zone. Take your product to the people that need it. Don’t take those beautiful walking sticks to the university for sale; take them to old people who need them. Don’t take that delicious ice cream to old people’s homes, take it to that secondary school very

close to your house. No woman will buy that shaving powder from you, but you can take those wigs, shoes and bags to that girls' hostel. You are likely going to end as a star with it. 12. Advertise yourself and your product. Without advertisement and publicity, there is nothing called business or selling activities. If your product is not for your consumption only, then advertise it. It is an advertisement that brings customers; it is customers that bring money. It is advertising that keeps business floating. It is your business and your product that keeps your family finance alive.

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4 Money Mistakes And How To Avoid Them

imperative to consider all expenses before purchasing a house. Newlyweds fail to analyze the true cost of homeownership and essentially buy more of a home than they can afford. However, buying more home than you can afford is a surefire way to end up in debt or having your oney mistakes are one of the top reasons that home foreclosed on. marriages end in divorce, yet unfortunately, Though getting a home is most engaged and newly married couples fail ideal for a married to prepare themselves. couple, it should be done Although you’ve likely had a lot of serious talks about life with careful consideration. including if you want to have children, where you want Review your options with to live, what kind of career you want to have, chances are a mortgage company to you skimmed through the money talk. find the best loan rates Though you both may be juggling your finances and mortgage programs separately, now that you’re joining together as one, being for first time home buyers. on the same page is critical. Then analyze your Below, are some of the common money mistakes finances to ensure that you newlyweds make that end up costing them big later. can afford the cost of owning a home. If you’re unable to afford the big family home you’ve been eyeing, consider a 1. Not Sharing Financial Habits and Debts condo or starter home and Once you’re married, your money and finances are a then relocate once you joint effort have the money to do so. As such, you must know how your partner deals with 3. Not Having a their finances, and more importantly, how much financial baggage they’re carrying with them. Waiting to Rainy-Day Fund You never know what could disclose this information can lead to serious arguments come up that requires a about money in the future. Knowing if your partner is a saver or a spender, whether large amount of cash to fix. Newlyweds make the they pay bills timely or whether they procrastinate, and having a general idea of how much debt they’re carrying mistake of forgetting the around can help you both to make a plan that will secure plan for a rainy day. An issue with the house, the your financial future. loss of a job, a need to pay for something for the kids, 2. Spending Too Much on Housing anything could occur, and The prospect of buying a house of can be exciting. You’re ready to start your new lives together and want the unfortunately, they aren’t prepared. perfect place to build from. Be that as it may, it is This forces them to have 110

The 4 Biggest Money Mistakes

to go deeper into debt by taking out a loan. While you appreciate the sunshine, there will be rainy days that you need to prepare for that You never know when you’re going to need to repair or buy a new car, get the furnace replaced, or even worse, you may have to deal with you or your spouse losing a job. Savings should be a staple in your financial plan. Putting aside at least 3-6 months’ worth of income can help to cover the costs of unexpected expenses. 4. Not Having a Budget When you’re single, living on a budget may be less of a priority. You don’t have any other responsibilities outside of yourself and your own bills. Many couples keep the same mentality that they’ll handle their own finances and make the mistake of not creating a budget. However, managing money separately can lead to miscommunication and misuse of household funds. Creating a budget and sticking to it is not as hard as you think. You must be open and honest with one another about your debts, monthly bills, and your income. Then execute a financial plan that will cover all household bills. Budgeting can help you to make informed decisions

for the household and it most certainly keeps you out of debt. Part of getting married is all about trial and error. It’s about finding your own way to make your union work. Be that as it may, when it comes to money mistakes, trial and error could be the very thing to tear your marriage apart. Avoid these money mistakes at all costs by openly talking to your spouse and creating a budget that will allow you to live out the life you’ve always dreamed of. https://thrivingmarriages. com.

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