Coffin Clubs

Kindred Spirits

The Coffin Club movement began in New Zealand more than a decade ago. Fancy some very personal DIY? By Sarah Wale

“And now the end is near …” We all know the opening lines to the song My Way, immortalised by Old Blue Eyes himself. Indeed, the end will come for all of us, and nowadays many people are taking control of their own funerals. Thus they can be sure they relieve their loved ones of the task, and often the financial burden, but also ensure that they get the sendoff they want. A major part of the funeral planning, and expense, is the choice of coffin and that is also often a major cause of distress. Does the family’s preference coincide with yours? Is it too fancy, too plain, too cheap, too expensive? Who knew that buying a box could be fraught with so much difficulty? The option more and more people are taking is the DIY one – yes, that’s right, you can Do It Yourself, designing and making your own ‘underground furniture’ as the Coffin Clubs describe the fruits of their labours!

Planning for the inevitable

The movement towards this approach started in Rotorua and has spread throughout the country, with some clubs even springing up overseas. The inspiration for the clubs comes from Katie Williams who, as a palliative care nurse, understood that death is very much part of life. She wanted to challenge the grim ideas often associated with death, and the dreary monotony of many funerals. She was talking with some fellow University of the 3rd Age members one day, discussing new directions for their continuing education programmes, and announced out of the blue that she would like to build her own coffin. She discovered she was not alone and the first Coffin Club was formed; the rest, as they say, is history.

Practical and fun

The clubs bring together people who are interested in personalising their funerals. As one might suppose, they are mostly people of senior years, so there is a wealth of talent and experience to be tapped. Carpenters, joiners, artists, designers, fabric and needle workers all come together to help each other make their bespoke coffin. People with none of those talents but a desire to be different also benefit from joining a club and receiving the help and advice of other members. Decorations may be brightly coloured paint and lashings of glitter, photos of family (or a favourite actor or singer … Elvis is popular!) or possibly scenes from the salmon river for a keen fisherman or paintings depicting the future occupants at work or indications of their interests. I travel a lot so I think I’d like mine to show key sights from all the countries I’ve visited. The only limit is the imagination of the designer. They might even be painted white or a plain colour and friends and family invited to write or draw their appreciation of your life – it’s so much nicer to hear those things while you’re alive than waiting until it’s too late! If they are too far away, paint sticks or coloured pens can be provided for those attending the funeral to decorate your coffin with fond messages and drawings.

Industry acceptance

It is not only the outward appearance which can be personalised.

How about a lush lining in your favourite colour, or a print fabric with a zany pattern to reflect your character? If you ‘wouldn’t appear dead’ in cream or white satin in life, why appear in it at all? Funeral directors, who might have resisted this movement given that coffins can start at around $5,000 and these homemade ones cost from around $200, have really come on board. Most are willing to accommodate these coffins as they indicate it will be a happy funeral, a celebration of life far removed from the often dismal norm. One funeral director told me how much he loves a funeral with laughter and the personal touches that photographs and a personalised coffin can bring, and he notices a positive effect on those attending the funeral.

Like minds

A welcome side effect of Coffin Club membership has proved to be the fellowship of other realists, who help each other deal with the idea of their own mortality and enable people to talk about death, what it means to them, and how they want to approach it. Some members may have a terminal illness and this is a way of taking some control of their end of life options. Others, often recently bereaved and wanting to spare their family the anguish of planning for their funeral, as they had recently had to do for a loved one, can find catharsis in the practicality of the venture, as well as the love and compassion of their fellows. Frequently, they are able to begin to recover from their own loss as a result of this.

The Coffin Club movie

This short New Zealand film won attention and awards at film festivals worldwide last year. Directed by Briar March and produced by Kim Harrop, the film was a response to Briar’s own fear of ageing, and feelings of discomfort at funerals. “When I heard about the Kiwi Coffin Club I was immediately intrigued and wanted to meet the people behind it. I decided to make the film in the style of a documentary musical as I thought that the mix of genres would bring another dimension to the film’s themes and demonstrate that there is still so much to laugh about and celebrate when facing one’s mortality.” Everyone featured in the film is a member of the Kiwi Coffin Club and its oldest dancer is now in her mid 90s. “Their vitality for life and willingness to give things a go puts many of us younger folk to shame. I really hope I can be like them one day!” http://loadingdocs.net/thecoffinclub/ All photos from The Coffin Club.

JOIN A CLUB, OR FIND OUT MORE!

If you are interested in learning about these clubs and would like to join one near you, Google ‘Coffin Clubs’ and you will find a wealth of information, or visit one of the websites that follow. If you can’t find a Coffin Club in your area, why not start one up? See our list of helpful websites offering advice and information about making your coffin, including how to source materials. You will also find lots of information about planning your own funeral and all the rules and regulations you need to know, of which there are surprisingly few! There are also links to a swinging musical documentary film made about the Rotorua Club by its members; it’s guaranteed to get your toes tapping and put a smile on your dial! Whatever your reason for joining, Coffin Clubs are lighthearted fun places where like-minded people meet with the same sense of purpose so that when you reach the end of your days and finally occupy your wonderful creation, you can truly say ….“I did it my way”.

HELP ON THE WEB www.coffinclubs.co.nz or phone Katie (021) 132 8073, or write to her care of 9 Goodwin Ave, Rotorua 3015

www.diyfuneral.co.nz www.superseniors.msd.govt.nz (search ‘funeral planning’) www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/do-it-allyourself/ http://loadingdocs.net/thecoffinclub/

BOOKS

We Did it Our Way by Katie Williams, $10. The stories of 50 DIY coffins made and decorated by amazing people from The Kiwi Coffin Club. Final Wishes, a workbook by Janet Ormsby, $15. To order phone Katie (opposite) or email anneke_katie@clear.net.nz