The West Kent Family Grapevine

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S.E.N.D in the Clowns • by Suzy Rowland

Supporting children with additional needs during lockdown. An article by Suzy Rowland - Author of 'S.E.N.D. in the Clowns' A key element of maintaining the well-being of your family is having a routine that feels safe and organised. Knowing there is enough food in the cupboards, who is in and out at what time, and everyone having enough to eat! Covid-19 changed all that. Instead of a newnormal, we seem to be in the midst of a system re-boot. Some have experienced a comfortable lockdown; others have experienced the uncertainly of furlough, job losses, illness or even the bereavement of a family member. It’s been an intense time for many families. Parenting children with additional needs is challenging without a global pandemic. The changing routines and not being able to go outside when they want or see trusted carers has created heightened anxiety in many autistic or ADHD children. Children with complex needs, especially those requiring hospital care, have been at risk during lockdown, causing more stress for hundreds of families. Trying to organise daily life is difficult, when the world around you is changing so fast. How can I reduce my family’s anxiety levels? 1. Create new systems and plans. Draw a basic timetable of daily activities for everyone in your family and stick it on the fridge so your days have a structure. Put everything on it including play time, walking the dog, home learning, mealtimes, taking a walk. Feeling in control plays a major role in maintaining self-esteem and mental health. 2. Make time to talk. Talking to your partner or your children about their feelings can be awkward, consider conversation when you’re doing something else, so it feels more relaxed. Children like to ‘protect’ their parents but it’s not healthy for them (or you) to carry stress and worry alone. Use openended questions when talking to your children, avoid the word ‘should’ if you can. Young Minds has great tips on talking to young people. 3. Solutions to soothe an anxious child. Autistic & ADHD kids are highly sensitive to atmosphere and mood, if you’re tetchy and irritable, they reflect that back. They may become stressed about things that didn’t bother them before. Here’s what you can do to help: • Share your knowledge of how worry affects the body: it can cause headaches, tummy aches, difficulty sleeping, being short-tempered. Reassure them these feelings are normal. If your kids are worried about something bad happening to a family member or anxious when you leave the house, this is normal too. Visual timetables help them understand what the day will look like. • Sensory soothing. If your child is highly sensory, provide a toy or game to keep their hands busy and help calm the nervous system.

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