Family times Dunedin winter 2014 web by Family Times Magazine

Your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s personality

Day dreamer or life of the party â&#x20AC;&#x201C; who is your child?

Teaching kids the value of money Keys to financial literacy for kids

A news magazine and online resource for families

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DUNEDIN / ISSUE 60 / Autumn 2014

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From the editor

Contents

Features

4 Your child’s personality

Learn about your child’s unique personality

14 Family physical activity

15 Managing a toddler and a new baby

6 Teaching kids the value of money

Boost your kids’ financial literacy

9 Cool science experiments at home

See the stars with this fun, at-home science experiment

Tips on how to survive with a toddler and new baby

Comment 8 Kids’ corner

Competitions, games and reviews

understanding each other – and ourselves – we’ve got a better chance at a harmonious family life. In this edition of Family Times, our main feature focuses on personality types, and helping to identify your children’s and your own unique make-up. We talk with Nonen Titi, an author and specialist in the field of personality psychology, who offers some great practical tips and advice for parenting. Of course we’ve got lots of other goodies this issue, including a new-look kids’ page with games and reviews, as well as competitions and giveaways galore. Enjoy!

Resource information 7 8 10 11 14 16

13 Teaching kids respect

Jackie Cowan and Nick Draper help you plan a family tramp

ne of the most exciting things for any parent is to see their children’s little personalities develop. Are they going to be shy and thoughtful, exuberant and excited, placid and easy-going, or perhaps deliberate and forceful? Then comes the crunch: as they grow into who they are, how can you parent them in a way that will help their unique personality grow into a confident and grounded young person? I grew up in a family of very different personalities – like most families. Each of us siblings would approach a situation in a different way, from our own perception, and each of us would wonder why the other would react in a completely different fashion – one emotionally, one logically, and the other as a peacemaker. Each of us would approach chores differently: one would flat out refuse and stage a big drama; one would just get on and do the job in order to avoid drama, and the other would do it but on their own terms and time schedule. If you’re reading this Racheal and Gary, you know which one you are! As we’ve grown up, I’ve learned to recognise the strengths of each of our personality types; for example, one’s ability to express how they feel and appreciate the feelings of others; one’s ability to deconstruct any problem and offer practical solutions, and one’s capacity for staying calm in a crisis. Simply put, as people, we need other personality types around us to balance us out: sometimes the life of the party needs to learn a little from a deep thinker, and a placid personality can learn from a more exuberant and emotional person. There are strengths and weaknesses in all of us, but by better

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Jenny Hale writes about kids and respect

About Us Publisher Robyn Willis Design & Production Moody Shokry Advert Production Target Press Production Office Editor Vanessa O’Brien Assistant editor Rachel Taniwha Digital editor Rochelle Savage

Media Executives Shona Robb, Nicky Barnett, Katie Morgan, Naomh Cusin, Penny Leary , Linda Radovancich Office Manager Raelyn hay Office Assistant Jackie Pithie

Contributing Writers Jenny Hale, Jackie Cowan, Nick Draper, Crissi Blair, Jenny Hale Reach us at: Family Publishers (NZ), P.O. Box 36-004, Christchurch 8146, NZ Ph. 03-355-9186 0800285 510 Fax: 03 3559 183 Mobile. 0274-359-414 admin@familytimes.co.nz www.familytimes.co.nz Distribution Printed and distributed quarterly approximately two weeks before each major school holiday. 13,500 are circulated through early childhood centres, primary and intermediate schools, The Dunedin City Event Shop, selected medical and midwifery premises and McDonalds Restaurants. The opinions expressed in this publication are not those of the publisher unless indicated otherwise. No part of this publication may be reprinted without the expressed written permission of the publisher. Family Times is not responsible for unsolicited material. Family Times is funded and published solely through the support of its advertisers. They support us, so please support them. www.familytimes.co.nz

feature story

Know your kids' personality type Ever wondered why one of your kids is the life of the party and the other one a day dreamer? Understanding your kids’ – and your own – personality type can help family harmony. Ever since the Greek physician Hippocrates incorporated his theory of four main temperament types into his medical hypotheses back in 460-370 BC, the human race has been postulating ways to understand each other better. As parents, understanding why your children act the way they do – and why you react the way you do – can go great lengths toward building your relationship says Wellingtonbased author Nonen Titi. Titi, a registered nurse with a degree in philosophy, has spent more than 15-years researching the works of Carl Jung and Myers-Briggs on temperament, and written a book on “inner composition.” “Jung devised that people have different personality types because the functions in their personality work differently,” said Titi. “Myers took it from there and devised a test – an indicator of which personality type you are.”

Basic personality types

Myers-Briggs suggests that our psychological differences can be divided into four opposite pairs (dichotomies) resulting in 16 possible psychological types.

There’s extraversion and introversion, sensing and intuition, thinking and feeling, judging and perception. Each person leans more to one side of each of the dichotomies, i.e. extraversion rather than introversion, thinking rather than feeling, and this determines their personality make-up. Although Myers-Briggs suggests that environmental factors can impact on a person’s unique personality, Titi says that a person’s basic personality make-up is innate. “I believe that these type differences are inborn, and it has to be so because if it were not, all people would end up doing the same thing, and as a human group we would lose out. “It also explains why do some children that grow up in a dysfunctional family turn out fine, and why do others not.”

Personality type – is one better than another?

Preferences toward one dichotomy or the other don’t determine a person’s nature, as such, but more how they perceive the world and make decisions. A good example, says Titi, is that Adolph Hitler and Martin Luther King Jnr had the same basic personality type according to Myers-Briggs- but the outworking of their preferences led to very different outcomes due to their own experiences and belief systems. Titi describes personalities as being like music. “Every musician uses four different aspects that make their music – rhythm, melody, theoretical aspect of music, and an instrument to create the mood. But a jazz

musician puts more emphasis on the rhythm, for example, than an opera composer would. So what emphasis they put, it makes for a different sound. It’s the same with personalities.”

Understanding your child’s personality

As a parent, understanding how your child is hard-wired to view the world, and their basic thoughtprocesses around making decisions, can lead to better understanding. Some indicators, says Titi, are easy to recognise from a very early age, for example, introversion and extraversion. “Introverted children are more reluctant to take to a new toy, or to approach something they don’t know. They need to get to know it first. They keep their distance from it, whereas, an extroverted child feels quite comfortable in a world of objects. They leave all their stuff all over the house when an introverted child would control it all in their room. It’s how comfortable they feel in the world around them.” However, introversion and extroversion can

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be confused. It’s not just whether your child talks a lot or wants to go out a lot. It has more to do with their motivation and how they reenergise themselves, says Titi. That becomes more apparent with age. “If an introverted child has been at school all day, they’re exhausted, and they might walk past everybody, go to their room and slam the door, and they don’t want to talk. A parent might feel rejected by that, but it has only to

feature story

do with the need to be alone for a while. “Extroverts are the exact opposite. They come home and they won’t stop talking, because they need to re-energise, they need to get that out somehow, particularly if they’ve been alone for a while.” Hence, telling an introverted child to “go out and make friends,” is not always helpful, Titi said. They would do that when they were

“Introversion and extroversion can be confused. It’s not just whether your child talks a lot or wants to go out a lot. It has more to do with their motivation and how they re-energise themselves.” ready and re-energised from time alone, not on demand.

Disciplining your children one rule for all?

Given the differences in personality types, each child will respond differently to different forms of discipline. A simple harsh word might completely devastate a sensitive, introverted child, and leave them feeling rejected. Whereas a child that leads with their feelings may actually understand and respond better to a parent who gets angry and emotional, because it’s something that they can relate to. That doesn’t make one personality type better or worse – just different, explains Titi. “There are children that are by nature

obedient, that heed authority. They do that naturally, but they are also the same children who, for example, would follow their peers. Other children, who are naturally more independent, they follow the rules by definition only when they feel like it. But they are also the children who will stand strong against bullies and not be pushed into peer pressure.” That doesn’t mean that you should try to change yourself to relate better to your children though. Titi says that the best thing that parents can do is to be themselves. “Every parent also has a personality type and if you’re going to try to force your child or yourself in one way or another, it doesn’t work. I think the best thing a parent can do is to be aware that not every child is the same, and that it’s okay, and that they understand where they come from.” Titi is concerned that a lack of understanding around personalities at times leads to misdiagnosis of conditions in kids – particularly kids that appear hyperactive. “Many kids are getting labelled with things such as ADHD, for behaviour that is a normal personality trait.” That’s not to take away from genuine cases of hyperactivity, said Titi, but a greater understanding and knowledge around personality types would help parents and teachers bring out the best in their kids. “A child that doesn’t like sitting still at school and writing but prefers to be out on its bike, or learns better by walking around or touching things, is not necessarily hyperactive. The school system is hypoactive. It’s not suited for these children. These children need a different way to express themselves.”

How do you know your child’s personality? The first step is to work out what makes you as a parent tick. Search online for a Myers-Briggs personality test, complete the questions, and then educate yourself as much as you can about your personality type. It’s a bit trickier to complete the test for your kids, but you can give it a go. Even a bit more study around the eight dichotomies will help you to better recognise what motivates your child’s decisions and perception of the world.

Extraversion and introversion

With Myers-Briggs, extraversion means “outward-turning” and introversion means “inward-turning.” • Extraverts are “action” oriented, while introverts are “thought” oriented. • Extraverts seek “breadth” of knowledge and influence, while introverts seek “depth” of knowledge and influence. • Extraverts often prefer more “frequent” interaction, while introverts prefer more “substantial” interaction. • Extraverts recharge and get their energy from spending time with people, while introverts recharge and get their energy from spending time alone.

Sensing and intuition

Sensing and intuition describe how new information is understood and interpreted. Individuals who prefer sensing are more

likely to trust information that is in the present, tangible, and concrete. They prefer to look for details and facts. Those who prefer intuition tend to trust information that is more abstract or theoretical. They may be more interested in future possibilities. For them, the meaning is in the underlying theory and principles that are in the data.

Thinking and feeling

Thinking and feeling are the decision making (judging) functions. Those who prefer thinking tend to measure a decision by what seems reasonable, logical, causal, consistent, and matching a given set of rules. Those who prefer feeling tend to come to decisions by associating or empathising with the situation, looking at it “from the inside” and weighing the situation to achieve the greatest harmony.

Judging and perception

Myers and Briggs identified that people also have a preference for using either the judging function (thinking or feeling) or their perceiving function (sensing or intuition) when relating to the outside world. Those with a preference for judging show the world their preferred judging function (thinking or feeling). Those types who prefer perception show the world their preferred perceiving function (sensing or intuition). For more information visit www.myersbriggs.org.

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Getting wise with financial literacy for kids Some kids say their families are just not good with money, or unlucky, but ASB Get Wise programme manager Linda Hodgson says it’s all about making the right decisions. Whilst reading, writing and arithmetic have always been key focuses in education, financial literacy has not. It’s just in the past five years that the Get Wise programme has set out to change the way kids think about money in an increasingly consumer-driven world. “Really, the biggest difference is that money has become largely invisible. A lot of kids don’t get the experience of dealing with money. Swipe that card, that’s all it takes,” said Hodgson. In fact, one child that Hodgson knows of believed that her mother actually earned money by grocery shopping – after all, her mother would go around the grocery store, put all the groceries in the shopping trolley, and at the end, get money out of the machine in the store. The Get Wise programme reaches about 450 schools around New Zealand each year, with specialised workshops for years 1 – 8 that

are delivered by trained facilitators. Then the schools are given resources so that teachers can continue to make financial literacy part off the curriculum throughout a chosen school term. It’s even beginning to change the way that teachers think, said Hodgson. “My favourite story is a teacher going away and saying after class, “I really need to reconsider a pair of hot red boots I wanted to buy.”” The focus of Get Wise is around determining needs from wants in a “consume now, worry later,” world, in which even malls and stores are scientifically designed to entice shoppers to spend more, and advertising pervades all of our spaces. Identifying things such as shelter, food, water and warmth as needs, and toys and games as wants is essential, says Hodgson. “We teach kids that they can speed to their needs, and wait for their wants, because by intermediate school age, they are starting to make decisions that really matter.” Hodgson admits that it sounds a bit boring – especially with terms such as budget planning. But Get Wise aims to make it fun by turning what seems like chore into an inspirational goal, such as planning and saving for a family holiday. With wants, Get Wise helps kids to identify ways to get their wants as well as their needs. If there is a gap between what they want and the money they have, how can they earn

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extra money? Are there perhaps some extra chores that they could pick up that would have some value for the family, and would help them to earn a few dollars extra that they can save toward their goal? Different parents teach their kids about money in different ways, says Hodgson. Some parents are hugely passionate about showing their kids how to manage money, but in a lot of households – affluent and struggling – there is an attitude of “we don’t talk about money.” In past times, when pay packets would come home with Dad on a Friday night and it was split up into different envelopes for different bills and savings goals, it was at least visible. But today, kids are not as well schooled on

managing money because they don’t see where it goes, and hence, don’t understand its value or how hard people work for it. “One of the schools asked if we could hold a workshop for parents. It’s extraordinarily hard to get parents to come along though, because money is a very emotional topic for people,” said Hodgson. “People who have it don’t think they have problems with managing it, and people who don’t have it don’t believe they have anything to talk about.” The New Zealand Council of Educations has independently evaluated the Get Wise programme, and has found that it is being successful in changing knowledge, attitudes and behaviour around money.

Letter to the editor Dear Editor,

Here is the story of my boy Benjamin and his Family Times. Since my boy was two and a half or three, he has been obsessed with the Family Times magazine. Some children carry round stones or favourite teddies or Match Box toys. My boy carried the Family Times magazine for a while. His preschool teacher even featured it in his profile book as his favourite activity. After he has “read” it cover to cover, he then cuts out his favourite adverts or stories and sticks them in another book. He can spot it a mile off and gets excited about the new one for him. He actually believes it is written for him, as it has his favourite places like Willowbank, the Antarctic Centre, Court Theatre, the movie theatres and pictures of kids having fun. We had to limit how many Family Times magazines he took home from preschool – but then he would see it in other places apart from preschool and he thought it was HIS! He still thinks (at age four-and-a-half) that his magazine is written for his benefit, to announce which movies we will take him too, which activities we will plan, which toys we will buy and which books we will read. Now he is recognising letters and numbers (and almost words) he likes to read it to us. Sincerely, Prudence Thomson

Dear Editor

On the topic of children doing chores, I have come up with an idea that I would like to share as it is working amazingly well.

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Family times: Design competition kidsonscreen.co.nz is looking for a unique New Zealand superhero called “Junior Platinum.” So design your very own New Zealand superhero and write what his or her super powers would be. Send us your picture and be in to win an amazing $50 prize pack from Crayola! Thanks to kidsonscreen.co.nz we also have six DVD copies of the Amazing Extraordinary Friends from Greenstone Pictures as prizes. Three entry age groups: preschool (age 1 to 4-years), 5 to 8-years, and 9 to 12-years. Create your design on an A5 sheet or download the template and entry form from www. familytimes.co.nz. Post in to PO Box 36 004, Christchurch 8146. Entries close on 19th July 2014. Thank you to our design competition judge Felicity Milburn of the Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna O Waiwhetu and congratulations to our competition winners from our last issue for designing your own birthday cake. They are: 1-4 Lydia Miller “When I turn 5, I am wishing for a caterpillar birthday cake because all our caterpillars turned in to monarch butterflies.”

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Star gazing at home Science can be fun, and with Matariki just around the corner (28 June), it’s a great time to try this fun science experiment at home. Get ready to start star gazing! Our early ancestors first looked up thousands of years ago, observing the stars we see today as small pinpoints of light in the night time sky. Early astronomers grouped the stars into constellations, and travellers used them to navigate at night, over land and at sea. The motions of the stars in these constellations helped people build the first calendars and to know when to prepare the fields and when to harvest their crops. *A constellation forms a recognisable pattern that is normally named after its apparent form or is identified with a mythological figure.

Make a constellation viewer

You will need: Cardboard tubes, black paper or card, pencil, scissors, sticky tape, circular star maps. What to do:

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2. Place each star map on a same size

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4. Use some tape to put the star map on one end of the tube. 5. Hold the viewer towards the light.

Look through the open end to see your constellation.

6. Or put a small torch inside the tube. Point the viewer at the ceiling and switch on the torch. Science Alive are exclusively providing at-home science experiments to Family Times. ISSN 1178

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Win Moose and the G oose You’ll get your antlers in a twist and your feathers flying in a rollicking, riotous read in this rhyming picture book by the super-talented duo of author Juliette MacIver and illustrator Jenny Cooper. The book is a laugh-out-loud, pitchperfect picture book with a text that trips off the tongue. This is the story of a moose, a caboose, a goose, a bear and a train. Thanks to Scholastic, www. scholastic.co.nz, we have ten of these to give away.

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To be in the draw to win, enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz or write your name and address on the back of an envelope or postcard and send to: Christchurch Competition, PO Box 36 004, Christchurch 8146 to reach us by July 19 th, 2014, unless stated otherwise. Only one entry per household. www.familytimes.co.nz

cool activities

Calendar of Events and dancing live concerts and the Apples and Wrap the family up nice and Come and join the fun and get a prize! Bananas tour promises to be one of the best! warm and head out to enjoy 11 July Regent Theatre, 10-11am. Visit premier.ticketek.co.nz. some fantastic winter, family- Ukulele Workshop. Come along to this easy-peasy ukulele workshop designed just friendly events. For more for kids! Bring your own ukulele or borrow 18 July one at the workshop. Bookings essential. event and entertainment Freddo’s Family Story Time. Hop to the coin donation per child. Toitu Otago library with your family for a story session. ideas, visit www.familytimes. Gold Settlers Museum, 10.30-11.30am. Visit www. Meet Freddo Frog and enjoy a chocolate co.nz and enjoy our large, toituosm.com treat! From 10.30am-12.30pm. Visit www. family-friendly resource. dunedinlibraries.govt.nz for locations. 12 July BioBlitz. As part of the 2014 NZ 27 June 26 July International Science Festival, join an expert team of some of New Zealand’s finest scientists at the Dunedin Botanic Garden. Dunedin Botanic Garden, 10am-4pm. Visit www.dunedinbotanicgarden.co.nz.

27 June

12-18 July

Cadbury® Fantastically Foiled & ChocolToddler Time. Join our storyteller in discovArt Crossword. Complete the crossword ering a museum full of stories and songs. Toitu by answering questions about works of art in Otago Settlers Museum, 11am. For bookings, Dunedin Art Gallery’s foyer. All participants phone 03-477-5052. Gold coin donation. receive a Cadbury chocolate reward! Bookings not required. From 10.30am – 5-13 July 4.30pm. New Zealand International Science Festival 2014. Workshops, stunts, street science, expos and entertainment from some 14-17 July Cadbury Dairy Milk® Magic Show. The of the globe’s leading experts, including stunt Cadbury Magician puts some magic in your scientist Dr Bunhead (aka Tom Pringle) and Cadbury Carnival week with a magic show great white shark scientist Ryan Johnson. choc-a-block with surprises. Don’t forget Visit www.scifest.org.nz. the magic word – chocolate! On at 11am and 5-20 July 1pm. Visit www.toituosm.com. Adventures on the Silk Road. Silk Road 15 July Trading Game (for older kids, years 8 plus) The Wiggles Apples & Bananas tour. The at Dunedin Chinese Garden. Swap your silk Wiggles fame is founded on their all-singing for spices, dates, medicine, swords and gold.

Mass of the Children. At Knox Church, 449 George Street, Dunedin, 7.30-9.30pm. This concert celebrates works by the twentieth century composers. Tickets from Beggs MusicWorks, Knox Church Office, or phone Clare 03-476-2426.

1 August

HortTalk: Birds in the Botanic Garden. Find out the leaves, flowers and berries that attract some of our most popular garden visitors. Free admission; meet at the Information Centre in the lower Botanic Garden, 12pm. All ages!

7 September

Dunkleys Great NZ Craft Show. For those who make crafts and those who love to buy them - Dunkleys’ Great New Zealand Craft Show is returning. Edgar Centre, 10am-5pm, admission fee applies. Visit www.craftshows.co.nz.

• Birthday parties • Before school care • After school care • Fundraisers • Drop-off service • Holiday programmes • Private functions • Charlie’s Café

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Check out the line-up at Rialto Cinemas this winter! The July school holidays will be jammed packed full of blockbuster films at Rialto Cinemas Dunedin. Entertain the kids over the school holidays by taking them to the latest Dreamworks release, How to Train A Dragon 2. The older kids will enjoy Transformers: Age Of Extinction. An automobile mechanic and his daughter make a discovery that brings down the Autobots and Decepticons - and a paranoid government official - on them. And on 7 August, Disney is releasing Guardians Of The Galaxy starring Vin Diesel. In the far reaches of space, an American pilot named Peter Quill finds himself the object of a manhunt after stealing an orb coveted by the villainous Ronan. Spend your winter school holidays at Rialto Cinemas for the best line-up of films. Make sure you book your tickets online at www.rialto.co.nz.

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Highlanders vs Chiefs. The Highlanders’ final game of the season will be an exciting fixture between two teams who like to throw the ball around. Forsyth Barr Stadium, 7.35pm, www.ticketdirect.co.nz.

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cool activities

Entertainment Winter is upon us, and with it, the temptation to hibernate in the warmth of home. But with so many exciting things to do around the city, you’re going to want to put on winter woollies and head out for some entertainment. Here are a few ideas to get you started, and we’ve got heaps more at www.familytimes.co.nz.

Holiday specials

Rialto Cinemas Dunedin

Fortune Theatre: Cat vs. Dog by Dan Bain

Come to Rialto Cinemas Dunedin for all of the latest blockbuster and art-house films! Take the whole family or treat yourselves to a night out. Check out our website www.rialto.co.nz.

Otago Museum

No matter the weather, Otago Museum is always the hottest place in town! Enjoy a spectacular live butterfly experience and meet other tropical creatures in their natural paradise.

Playhouse Theatre

Playhouse Theatre’s July holiday production is The Frog Prince: A twist on the traditional fairy tale suitable for all ages. Dates 5-13 July, 11am and 2pm. Cost $7. Phone bookings 03477-6544 .

Grandma loves both her cat and her dog and

they all get along… until she leaves the room, then it’s Cat vs. Dog! From 12-20 July. Phone 03-477-8323.

New Zealand International Science Festival 2014

Nine days of inspiring workshops, stunts, street science, expos and entertainment from some of the globe’s leading experts. From 5-13 July. Bring the kids and family and explore the great unknown together. Visit www.scifest.org.nz.

Performers on stage at the 10th anniversary RASA show at the Regent Theatre in December.

Dr Bunhead’s Blast Off at the Science Festival: the silly, crazy, dirty, dangerous science show on Saturday 12 July.

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Consumer smoke alarm research welcomed by Fire Service Smoke is toxic – and breathing it can kill. So you need an alarm that gives you early warning and more time to escape. For that reason alone, every home should have smoke alarms – but which ones to choose? There are several on the market, and they all have different levels of quality and function. The Fire Service says the latest Consumer research on smoke alarms will be enormously helpful to people trying to choose the best one for them from a baffling line-up on a shop shelf. National Fire Risk management advisor Todd O’Donoghue said the Fire Service has been investing in Consumer testing of smoke alarms since 2006. “It’s well known that smoke alarms save lives and we want to keep on top of which of the current ones are the best options for the public.” The latest research again reinforced the evidence that photoelectric smoke alarms provide significantly more protection than ionisation models. That’s because smoke is not just smoke. Smoke from flaming wood or cooking-oil fires is different from that produced by the cooler smouldering of upholstery foam, bedding or the plastic components in electrical equipment. Different smoke alarms detect

this at different levels. Ionisation alarms sense the volatile combustion products from hot flaming fires, but they don’t do as good a job sensing the smoke from smouldering fires because fewer combustion products are present. Photoelectric alarms shine a light beam across a chamber and detect if the air in the chamber becomes partially obscured. So they can detect smoke from both types of fires. The Fire Service and Consumer both advise people to replace their ionisation smoke alarms with long life photoelectric alarms. “Ionisation alarms are generally good at detecting fast flaming fires, but not as good at picking up smouldering fires. Photoelectric alarms generally perform better at detecting both types of fires,” said O’Donoghue. The Consumer research tested 20 different smoke alarms of varying prices and models under varying controlled fire conditions. Full details on the models that tested the best are available on the Consumer website www. consumer.org.nz. O’Donoghue said the Fire Angel long life smoke alarms installed by the Fire Service tested well, but did not score quite as highly as two similar long life alarms, Warrior and Aura. “The detection performance of the Fire Angel is well within the range of what we expect from a smoke alarm. However, in light of this research on the current crop of smoke alarms, we will review our choice to ensure we are providing the most effective alarm at

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Come and explore Active’s stunning kids’ bedroom display – the only one of its kind in town and packed with fun and stylish ideas for your wee darlings’ hideaways: now complete with tepee to help keep the kids distracted! Active are masters at transforming diverse design elements into magical interiors, and can draw on a fantastic range of leading global brands to tailor your project for you, your personality, and your lifestyle. From on-site consultancy and colour advice, to skilled in-house tailoring, professional fitting and after-sales service, contact Brigid, Ali, Brenda and the team for a festival of colour this autumn. Visit www.activefurnishers.co.nz or phone 04-453-0499.

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they’re likely to last about three years. The Fire Service You Tube channel has a short video clip that explains how and where to install smoke alarms in your home. See www.youtube.com/theNZFS ‘how to install a smoke alarm’

the best price and meeting specific needs of some of our high risk communities.” Most alarms come supplied with a battery: some are a basic carbon-zinc type; others are alkaline. Several models in the Consumer test came with a long-life lithium battery that lasts around 10 years – the life of the alarm. Consumer’s latest research recommends that alarms equipped with a long-life battery are a good idea. They take away the hassle of changing batteries and mean the alarm is always in working order. They’re also useful if the alarm is located in a difficult-to-reach area. The next-best solution is to use alkaline batteries – some are not too expensive and

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Teaching kids respect Sometimes it’s important to sweat the small stuff!

t’s not good to growl at every little thing, but there are small battles worth winning to cancel out the bigger ones. When you ignore poor manners, back chat and rudeness, you allow your child to become disrespectful and even angry. Nip the small things in the bud and win those battles. How your child speaks to you is important! Taking ground over a small area will give you success in bigger areas. Go for it - be firm. Parents often drop their guard over little things like how their child speaks to them. They ignore the whining, moaning, grizzling, taunting and cheek, in favour of keeping their energy and big guns for the major battles. Children often see this drop in attention to respect as a doorway to act in more challenging ways, and this is where parenting gets hard. You, as a parent, feel you have been generous in ignoring the little things, and yet confused as to why your child is becoming harder to manage, not easier. Pay attention to how they speak to you and start real early; like the correct way of asking for their drink or thanking you for their treat. Energy and focus on respectful speaking serves to curb harder more intense behaviors like tantrums, swearing, lying and anger outbursts. A similar thing was shown to be effective in New York City. Rudy Gullianne tackled petty crime and tagging and took out a lot of major crime in the process. The motivation behind what a child is doing can be your key to deciding whether to tackle it or not. A parent is often making the quick decision. Is this simply playfulness, an accident, an over tired child, forgetfulness, a lack of concentration or is it a lack of respect?

If it is a challenge to respecting you, it is worth being firm on.

Ways to firm up • Talk about your family rule of respectful-

•

ness - introduce it as your bottom line. Your children will appreciate knowing why you are insisting that everyone in the family speaks with respect to one another. Model it daily in your own interactions. Your children are looking for what respect really looks like. They will watch you and learn from you all the time: the way you address the waiter in the restaurant, the way you speak to the person you disagree with, the way you pass messages on and probably most importantly, the way you treat family members. If you yell, show disdain, complain and show a low tolerance level for people with different ideas, it is what your children will copy. Have simple consequences for disrespect. It is easy to rant and rave about something you want to see happen. Kids get used to it and decide that they can endure the lecture. If you really want their behavior to change, let your consequences do the shouting for you. Follow up on unkind words, taunting and ridicule. Let your children know that it will not be talked about – it will be acted upon. Give your children another chance to show you they can speak respectfully. Everyone slips up from time to time. When children do something disrespectful, like shout at you from one end of the house, go to them and calmly and firmly

Respect is not an optional extra. It really is a vital ingredient to prioritise and foster. Treating people respectfully is totally achievable and totally worth the effort. By Jenny Hale, senior family coach at The Parenting Place

tell them that you would like to help out, but you are waiting to be asked nicely and when you are both in the same room. Invite them to try again and be prepared to wait it out so that they appreciate that you mean what you say.

Greenstreet Early Childhood Centre Greenstreet is open from 8am to 5.30pm, Monday to Friday, including school holidays. We have a strong commitment to quality early childhood education; all our registered teachers are trained and qualified and we have a low child-to-teacher ratio. We are licensed for 25 children in house 11, which is a mixed-aged house of children aged 0 to 4-years, and we are licensed for

30 children in house 13, which caters for children age 3 to 5-years. Greenstreet is accepting enrolments now. Check out of fantastic ERO review online: “Teacher’s place the child at the centre of learning, recognising and supporting children’s individual interests, strengths and capabilities.” Check out our new website www.greenstreetece.co.nz.

Little Wonders pace. Children in the other classrooms at Little Wonders St Kilda enjoy programmes that are age-appropriate and incorporate all teaching and learning aspects of Te Whariki. Little Wonders St Kilda teaching teams are made up of dedicated, professional and fun teachers who provide these programmes in unique, creative and enjoyable ways. Little Wonders St Kilda is a busy, wellpresented and happy environment in which all of our children, families, whanau, staff and community members are always welcome. It’s a great place to be! Please contact Natalie or Mary on 03455-3337 for more information, check us out on our Facebook page or visit www. littlewonderschildcare.co.nz.

It’s been a very busy first half of 2014 here at Little Wonders St Kilda, with a new extension to our beautiful building taking place. Then there’s all of the fun, creative and extended learning programmes throughout the rest of the centre! We are looking forward to opening up our new classroom in June. This classroom will be an extension of our already welldeveloped and well-respected under twoyear-old care and education programme. The teaching team will provide a high quality programme based on the Pikler/ Gerber and RIE philosophies, which are centred on respectful and trusting relationships, natural progression and providing a calm environment in which the babies can learn and develop at their own

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market place

Family physical activity Building up to an overnight tramp In a special series of articles for Family Times, Jackie Cowan and Nick Draper – primary school and physical activity specialists from the University of Canterbury –highlight some activities, family games and resources that can help families add more fun physical activity into their lives.

with physical activity and games with them. Another great research finding is that walking represents a great form of physical activity that can help elevate our metabolism. We don’t need to go to the gym or for a run to get our heart and lungs working to promote our health and wellbeing. Walking is a great way to increase our physical activity. Walking is therefore the focus of our editorial this season. As well as breaks during our working days, we can make walking and tramping part of family activity time. The suggestions in the rest of the article provide some steps towards taking an overnight tramp as a family, and in doing so, taking advantage of the great huts that our regional and national parks have to offer. s we uncover a greater understanding of Most kids love camping and an overnight the importance of regular physical activity family trip could be a great highlight of the in our lives, this highlights the importance summer season. So now, through the autumn for all the family to be out and about playing and winter, it’s a great time to build up your games and getting regular – daily – exercise. walking skills and to start planning such a trip. Our bodies are designed to move, so to Getting out as a family and walking locally promote continued health and wellbeing we is a great start – walk to the park, take the need to be physically active. dog and use local maps with children to help Yet here we are sitting at a computer typing them find the way en route. To get used this, and you are sitting reading this article for to carrying a backpack you could pack your Family Times – all is not lost for us though! lunches and water bottles into your daypacks. Although physically inactivity has become a Encourage children to carry their own small big part of many of our working lives, such as daypacks where possible. Once you are sitting in an office for work, research shows happy with these walking experiences and us that if we take regular breaks and get up sense that your family is ready for the next and move, we can keep our metabolism – our step, look for your first walking adventures in bodies, heart and lungs – at a healthier level. the outdoors. For children in schools, the embedded breaks It’s great to begin with a visit to a local DOC for morning and afternoon tea and lunch Centre, where they can help identify good provide natural opportunities to be active. introduction walks. It’s also great to get off Teachers can help further by bringing physical flat or tar-sealed roads and to walk in the activity breaks into the classroom on top of hills and smaller footpaths near to home – any scheduled PE lessons. building up the distances as you go. Then In addition, teachers, and we as parents, can after another trip to DOC you can locate an promote physical activity options for children accessible hut for a first overnight trip – it and get involved as well. There is no stronger doesn’t need to be a long tramp – it’s the fun message for children than when we get involved of the trip and experience that are the key.

With a tent and a camping stove and some simple recipes you can also do some great overnight camping trips in the back garden. Find some lightweight meals that you can cook easily. With a bit of help from an adult, children can also be involved in the cooking – this can make a great change from home.

Foods that work well for an overnight camp include, pasta and sauces, wraps, instant soups and of course jellybeans to keep the troops moving during the walk to the hut. Leave lots of time to reach the hut and take some games (a ball and some cards etc) for the evening and a great time can be had by all!

Dry Cleaning Cooking classes

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baby & toddler

Managing a toddler and a new baby

The secret weapon for sleepovers and a dry night.

It can seem overwhelming, the thought of managing your active toddler and bringing home a new baby.

f course, there are the sleepless nights and managing breastfeeding, but many times too your toddler may take time adjusting to the introduction of a new family member, given that they have been the sole sum of your world for the past few years. “Key ideas to consider here are that our easy or flexible children may adjust more easily to change, and because they do, we need to be more mindful to connect with them compared to the child who may need more support with change - we are very aware of their needs,” says Strategies with Kids, Information for Parents (SKIP) national leader Regan Mayo. Here are some tips from Plunket and Skip to help you broach this trying time.

• • • •

Before the baby is born: • • • • • • •

Prepare your older child by talking with them during your pregnancy. Explain who will look after them while you have the baby. Include your older child in getting ready for the new baby. Make any major changes before the baby comes, such as moving the older child out of the cot or bedroom. Involve your older children in the preparation. Ask them for their ideas on names and things you need to buy. Show your older child they are loved and special by talking with them and telling them you love them. Giving your older child a present from the new baby is a good idea too.

After the baby is born: •

• • •

Teach your older child how to cuddle, touch and talk to the baby safely while you supervise. Praise them when they do it well. Explain to them how to keep the baby safe and make clear that only adults can pick up the baby. Make sure they know that the baby doesn’t eat anything except the baby’s milk. Include your older child in helping you look after the baby by giving them tasks like fetching nappies and toys for the baby.

•

• • •

•

Talk with your older child about when they were a baby. Ask friends and family to give your older child some special time, and try to spend some time alone with your older child. As much as you can, keep up normal activities like going to the park or playgroup together. When you feed the baby, have books or games ready for your older child. They may enjoy hearing a story or playing quietly next to you. Be patient if your older child becomes demanding or goes back to babyish behaviour. For example, they may start wetting their pants. They may take out their anger or jealousy on you to get your attention. It will pass once they get used to the change. Talk with your older child about how they feel. Tell them you love them. Make sure you spend some time each day with your other children. This could just be sitting and talking or reading a book. Ask them what they think the baby should wear.

Visit www.skip.org.nz and www.plunket. org.nz.

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La Leche League Jenny was planning to wean her baby when she went back to work fulltime at four months. However, baby Angus wasn’t taking to the changes. So Jenny went along to her local La Leche League meeting for help. She was delighted to learn that it was possible to combine working and breastfeeding and came away with some good tips about expressing her milk and giving Angus a bottle. She heard about how a baby’s sleeping and feeding patterns can alter and what to expect. La Leche League groups meet all around New Zealand. Find where at lalecheleague.org.nz or facebook.com/LLLNZ.

Breastfeeding support in many ways Meet breastfeeding mothers ContaCt a trained breastfeeding counsellor Read a book from our library BRowse our website Join and receive aroha magazine Buy books and leaflets donate to help La Leche League help more mums like you.

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Crissi Blair lives with her family in west Auckland and spends her time reading and writing, mostly about children’s books. Crissi organised the Storylines Festival of New Zealand Children’s Writers and Illustrators for three years and publishes the useful guide New Zealand Children’s Books in Print which is updated every year. Visit www.silvertone.co.nz for more information.