5 minute read
TIME TO LET GO
from The Crest 98
IT’S TIME FOR YOUR YOUNG ADULT TO LEAVE HOME AND HEAD OFF TO UNIVERSITY OR COLLEGE. THEY’LL BE FINE … HOW ABOUT YOU?
story BY anne schauffer
It’s often tougher for parents than it is for the student. Empty nest syndrome can be real and ugly for some, while for young people there’s the promise of a wonderful adventure ahead. Don’t fuss.
Your anxiety about their departure can unintentionally transfer to them, not something you want. This is their time, and whether it’s your exuberance around “decorating” their res room, or a long list of Dos and Don’ts About Life with which you bombard them – remember, this is what you’ve prepared them for: adulthood, decisionmaking, independence, and a host of other attributes. And if it’s to be, let them make mistakes in this controlled environment. You can’t control it all.
One piece of advice for those who are working hard to replicate home in your teen’s new environment, don’t overdo it. Keep it real. Whether your son or daughter is going into a university residence, a private student res or digs, don’t create what you think they’d like. Let them inject their own personality into their space. It really doesn’t need to look like a film set on day one. Let it develop over time, in their time.
Julie Simpson’s daughter is heading to Stellenbosch University from Durban. Julie recognises that as a mom, it’s easy to get carried away in the excitement of it all, and wants to create a homeaway-from-home nest: “I’m trying to reign myself in, and follow my ‘student’s’ lead ... within reason of course. I do think one mustn’t forget it’s a student room and not a decor spread. If it’s too perfect, they may feel too uncomfortable to study, relax and party in there. There are so many clever decor budget options to create a quirky space that’s not wasteful or over the top. The expression ‘less is more’ comes to mind, particularly after this difficult year ...”
If your child isn’t eligible for onsite university campus accommodation, you’ll have combed through the many off-campus options. Budget plays a major role of course, and you’ll have scrutinised the trade-off between X which offers a laundry service, and Y which offers stable Wi-Fi.
With nationwide brands like CampusKey Student Living, the choices are wide. They offer everything from furnished single en suite rooms with kitchen, through to communal style living where four to 10 people have their own bedrooms, but share a bathroom and kitchen.
As a parent, what are your priorities? Speaking to mums in particular, primary concerns are around a very secure environment conducive to study and healthy social interaction, with easy and safe access to the university campus.
Take security for instance – at residences such as CampusKey, you’ll find biometrics and more, and facilities range from DStv, study spaces, dining facilities, to gyms, bicycle hire and offstreet parking.
Rooming choices aren’t only about budget, but about your child’s personality and social habits. If you have a loner or shy teen who struggles to mix, often pairing them up in two-bedroomed accommodation is the smarter move than a single room where they can be reclusive. But once again, make sure their opinion is heard.
Picture: www.freepik.com
But no matter the accommodation, every student wants to put their stamp on their own new home. Combining practicality and personality can be a challenge in what is often a small space – and if they’re sharing that space too, collaboration and consideration is required.
As a parent, don’t get carried away with glam decor ideas – let your child settle in with the basics, and gradually build up their own space to their liking. For mum Tanya Bailey, they had a headstart – they’d already bought items for their daughter for boarding school: “We bought all that with university in mind, so we wouldn’t find ourselves buying again unnecessarily.
We have all the basics in terms of bedlinen, towels and some small decorative items, but will need basic kitchen items for her res. The rest she’ll be responsible for as time progresses.”
Check out the residence’s rules regarding what’s prohibited and what’s not. Are you allowed to put nails in the wall, or paint them your favourite colour? What’s the standard furniture, if any? If you’ve visited (or scrutinised the website), get the dimensions.
If it’s a digs situation, you may need to provide your own furniture. Consider finding the different channels used by departing students to advertise their furniture – source all the sale sites/secondhand stores for the basic furniture needs. Buy a secondhand bed and desk, then add a new mattress and paint a tired desk, and so on.
Less is always more, so avoid turning the room into an obstacle course. They’ll have a heap of friends in there, so don’t drown them in scatter cushions. What makes a room look and feel bigger? No clutter, pale colours, and loads of light.
Storage is not only essential, but minimises clutter. Choose multifunctional furniture or make it multifunctional – your desk can double as a dressing table and a storage unit. Ottomans with hidden storage can be footrests and seats. Plastic storage drawers can be a bedside table. If it’s possible to fit large plastic storage boxes on wheels under the bed, do it.
Two things which, as a parent, you could well put on the list: an inexpensive floor rug that’s happy in the washing machine; and a good reading/study lamp. Once you’ve supplied the basics such as bedlinen, towels, and ample resilient crockery or cutlery for the kitchenette, hand it over to your teen. Rest assured, that room is going to look quite different when you next see it.
MUST HAVES
- A multiplug and power surge plug for phones, laptops, reading lamp and so on. An extension cord is handy.
- A backpack for campus, and for those weekends away.
- A suitcase which packs flat, so it doesn’t take up space in a cupboard.
- Washing hamper for dirty clothes – those concertina ones work well so they can be tucked away when not in use.
- Small collapsible hamper or litter bin for masks after a day on campus.
