What you Say, and How you Say it

WORDS ARE EXTREMELY POWERFUL – THEY CAN BUILD OUR CHILDREN UP, OR BREAK THEM DOWN. EVERY WORD COUNTS.

Without realising it, nals, while positive, warm kids remember what encouragement increases you say, and youngsters serotonin (a feel-good believe every word you say. hormone). This means When you use words wisely that simply through words (e.g. encouraging them for (and how we say them), we trying), it does wonders for literally have the power to building their self-esteem. change everything! Words

It’s actually quite amazcan build your child up, or ing that our words, (and break him down. It takes how we say them), are much more effort to undo being absorbed by our kids the negative effects of our all the time. words, than it does to start

Neuroscientist, Louis speaking positively. So why Cozolino, tells us that the not give positivity a go. amygdala (that part of our Try some of these enbrain that is activated in couraging phrases: fear situations) pays special “Nice listening” attention to anger sig“I’ve noticed that you’re really trying”

“Well done, I can see you’re getting better at ….”

“You’re really making progress”

“Thanks. That’s helped me a lot”

Remember: • Young children take

words literally - their logic and reasoning isn’t well developed yet.

• Kids take things personally and misinter

pret things - often making wrong assumptions.

• They believe what

we tell them - adults are powerful, be careful of sarcasm.

• They remember nega

tive comments easily - in comparison to praise.

• Children become what

you tell them - be encouraging and speak “as if” they’re already co-operating (e.g. “nice listening”). • “Yes” motivates - “no” makes kids defensive (e.g. “Yes, you can have that after supper”).

Speaking consciously is an ongoing learning in selfawareness. Yet words can change lives, so be patient with yourself and watch how your new way of talking easily wins their co-operation and starts to change how they view themselves. Follow psychologist Carol Surya on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube @ RaisingKidsPositively where she offers calm, creative and conscious positive parenting solutions. Visit www.raisingkidspositively.com.