My new year’s resolution is to kill more snails

Written by Stephen Zavitsanos

I didn’t ignore your calls it’s just that my phone ran out of charge because I use the flash so I can see where I’m walking when it’s raining and dark just so I don’t stomp on any snails that are trying to make their way home. They’re just like me so instead I walk into a bush or a tree because I can’t see because I’m blinding myself and I really think doing that is so much better than being a murderer, especially if it’s murdering someone like me someone with a place to be.