Being Unable to Wait to Leave One’s Hometown

who came from them. I had a hometown of 300, and also one of 50,000 and it was the same for both.

Washington Post contributing columnist Brian Broome’s contribution this week, “Jason Aldean? Spare Me the Small-Town Nostalgia,” touches an especially sensitive nerve, for me and for society generally, as the Aldean hit song, “Try That in a Small Town” is now hitting the top of the country western charts.

The song is not without controversy already, as it seems to many to embrace barely coded racist symbols, and Broome describes as a Black youth growing up in rural Ohio that “the racism of my small town was naked and powerful; seething hatreds were baked into its soil” facets which got only worse when all the steel jobs disappeared.

But then he wrote how when he got older, and realized he was gay, that “my small town became for me a coffin lined with razor blades.” He explained, “It wasn’t just my sexuality that made it uncomfortable. I was different. I thought differently. I began to question the things I had been taught, and I found no one in my hometown who offered good answers. I was just told to be quiet: by my teachers, by my friends, by my church and even by my parents. And then the smothering feeling set in, the wondering whether there was more to life than what I was being shown. And I knew I had to escape. I wanted to meet different kinds of people, I wanted different experiences, I wanted to learn new things, and none of that was going to happen in a small town in northern Ohio. I couldn’t wait to leave.” He asserted, “We need to start shedding this idea that purity and goodness reside only in the places with one stoplight.”

Yes, it is remarkable how things associated with one’s small hometown, or plural for those whose families moved around, seem to almost calcify, to become hardened and inflexible, especially in terms of attitudes and expectations of those

Take the case of Janis Joplin, who grew up in Port Arthur, Texas, a small rural town where she was looked upon as a freak. She had escaped to the music scene in Austin where she went on to become world famous. She was being interviewed upon her return to Port Arthur for a high school reunion when by then everyone was totally in awe of her. She was looking forward to the reunion, but she was unable to hide her discomfort even so.

Going “back home” works only if you can pull it off. But the psychic damage can be overwhelming. You shoehorn yourself back into the coffin-like constraints of your days before you were able to fly away. At least I did, though I grew up in a time when such constraints were more pervasive and confining than today. I view the massive reaction formation that constitutes the MAGA Republican social agenda today as an imperative to return to those awful 1950s conformist days and their awful, suffocating feelings.

Nostalgia is a nasty thing. It tends to gloss over feelings and moods that we lived with at the time and replace them with warm oceanic feelings of bliss.

My main home town was a very popular resort destination and when I tell my friends I came from there they always ask why I ever left. I think Mr. Broome may have an idea. The main crime against one’s self returning to such places has to do with the sensed compulsion to conform with what became in the meantime an alien time and place.

Those who insist “you can’t go home again,” ala the title of Thomas Wolfe’s novel, have a point.

My life has unfolded like the final three minutes that concluded the six-year TV series, “Six Feet Under.” To the music of Sia’s “Breathe Me,” it started with the main character lighting out in her VW onto an L.A. freeway headed to New York and an indeterminate future. It flashes through her eventful life to wind up on her deathbed, nowhere near her “hometown,” but surrounded by images of great memories.

Our Man in Arlington

By Charlie Clark

Houses of worship in our historically religious county continue to struggle.

The congregation of the Arlington United Methodist Church, with roots in the 19th century, has folded, and last year sold its 70-year-old red brick structure at 716 S. Glebe Rd. to Sunrise Senior Living, which has filed for demolition.

One temporary occupant of that complex was Redeemer Church of Arlington, which this June took over the main sanctuary of the Westover Baptist Church. Their landlord remains the Baptist church, which began in 1940 with a congregation of 76 across from today’s Swanson Middle School. Over the decades its services sometimes attracted 1,000 as a force in the community. Today’s congregation, I can report — is down to 100.

An interview with Pastor Michael Youngblood explored reasons the congregation is now meeting in its smaller (original space) in the Perry Mitchell Chapel. “Covid had an impact on church attendance nationwide,” says the Philadelphian, now in his ninth year at Westover. “We are meeting our ministry objectives and moving forward. This move makes the building more available to the community.”

Working on budgets and planning during a consultation with a national church consultant with his board of trustees to refurbish the sanctuary and chapel, Youngblood explored offers with several local churches. “Fortunately, finances are not a struggle,” he says.

Its expansive campus with ample parking houses the Arlington branch of the (D.C.based) Levine Music School, a successful preschool, an occupational therapy program, a summer camp, a vacation Bible school, two scout troops (Boy and Girl), and classical concerts (the Arlington Chorale). When a nearby congregation experienced a death recently, Westover hosted the funeral that drew 800 attendees, Rev. Youngblood notes. Westover is also set up for parishioners to participate remotely through the streaming of services and Bible Study.

Of all Westover’s assets, the preschool is among the most steady — now in its 52nd year. (My own two grandkids attended.) During Covid, “a lot of schools were struggling with enrollment, and people were choosing different child care options,” says Amy Kaetzel, an employee since 2012 and director since 2020. With many locked inside, “some young children had never left their home, and it was a scary time for everyone.”

Coming out of this isolation, the preschool “slowly began to re-introduce more community — Halloween parades, Christmas performances, parents coming in as classroom readers, after-school enrichment and weekend picnics at use of the campus park. A bequest from a loyal former teacher allowed scholarships and upgrades (including a popular play-space ball pit) to 11 classrooms that can host more than 100 students “but feel like a one-room schoolhouse. The church is gra- cious in allowing us to use multiple spaces,” Kaetzel says.

Collaborating as a team with resource specialists, “the teachers know every kid.” The key, Kaetzel adds, is that “children learn best through play, though secretly there’s a lot of learning going on. Arlington Public Schools spends so much on facilities, but that’s not really the most valuable thing in education. The quality of teachers, the right numbers and parents are the recipe. Safety is No. 1, but there’s also safety with heart and spirit.”

Jesus Christ, reminds Pastor Youngblood, “said our mission is to go out into the world.” For Westover Baptist, that “now means serving from the chapel and recognizing the past members and friends who sacrificed to build this church. Then and now, isn’t there still a need for Christ in the community?”

***

A towering, multibranched water oak tree in the Williamsburg neighborhood has been saved from the chainsaw.

As recommended by the Arlington Tree Action Group, realtor Liz Kirby this month inked an unusual sales contract with a builder planning to expand the brick rambler at 5920 N. 35th St. An addendum specifies that any new construction will be done in consultation with a certified Virginia arborist. “He appreciates trees, knowing that greenery is good for us all,” she told me.

That’s important news during our times of highly visible climate change.

Animal Boarding

A Dog’s Day Out

2800-A, Gallows Rd, Vienna, VA 22180 (703) 698-3647 adogsdayout.com/locations/vienna

Bark + Boarding

5818 Seminary Rd C, Bailey’s Crossroads, VA 22041 (703) 931-5057 barkandboarding.com

Dogtopia of Falls Church

108 W Jefferson St, Falls Church, VA 22046 (571) 356-9223 dogtopia.com/falls-church

Dude’s Dog House & Spa

7257 Lee Hwy, Falls Church, VA 22042 (703) 857-1400 dudesdoghouse.com

KSR Pet Care

(703) 945-5045 ksrpetcare.com

Seneca Hill Animal Hospital Resort and Spa

11415 Georgetown Pike, Great Falls, VA 22066 (703) 420-7083 senecahillvet.com

Waggy Walky’s

712 W Broad St # 4, Falls Church, VA 22046 (703) 957-0044 waggywalkys.com

Animal Rescues

Animal Welfare League of Arlington

2650 S Arlington Mill Dr, Arlington, VA 22206 (703) 931-9241 awla.org

Homeless Animals Rescue Team

(703) 691-4278 hart90.org

Humane Society of Fairfax County 4057 Chain Bridge Rd, Fairfax, VA 22030 (703) 385-7387 hsfc.org

Lost Dog & Cat Rescue Foundation 6801 Wilson Blvd, Falls Church, VA 22044 (703) 295-3647 lostdogrescue.org

Lucky Dog Animal Rescue

5159 Langston Blvd., Arlington, VA 22207 (703) 237-5327 luckydoganimalrescue.org

To the Rescue, Inc

(571) 206-8704 totherescueinc.org

Wolf Trap Animal Rescue

(703) 638-2531 www.wtarescue.com

Continued on Page 12

Pet Grooming

Alexander & Yonis Mobile Pet Salon LLC Mobile (703) 585-0570 aypetsalon.com

Barkley Square

105 N Virginia Ave #101, Falls Church, VA 22046 (703) 237-3650 barkleysquare.com

Gentle Touch Dog Grooming, LLC

3147 Ravenwood Dr #1828, Falls Church, VA 22044 (703) 539-2456

Gigi’s Pet Salon

6029 Wilson Blvd, Arlington, VA 22205 (703) 532-7888 gigispetsalon.com

Happy Tails

7646 Lee Hwy, Falls Church, VA 22042 (703) 462-9941 happytails.net

InStyle Pet Grooming

6504 Williamsburg Blvd, Arlington, VA 22213 (703) 300-9738

Ms. Barkley’s Organic Pet Grooming (571) 305-5000 msbarkley.com

Sparkles’ Groomcraft & Wizardry (571) 377-8727 parklesgroomcraft.com

The Purrfect Grooming Company

7183 Lee Hwy, Falls Church, VA 22046 (703) 237-0595

Vienna Pet Spaw

101 Church St NW # A, Vienna, VA 22180 (703) 319-7729 viennapetspaw.com

Pet Sitters

Capital Petsitters

201 Park Washington Ct, Falls Church, VA 22046 (703) 442-0403 capitalpetsitters.com

Cat Sitting by Susan LLC

117 Rowell Ct, Falls Church, VA 22046 (703) 867-7140 catsittingbysusan.com

Delilah’s Den Pet Services, LLC

James St, Falls Church, VA 22046 (202) 255-2649

PBJ Pet Care Service (703) 323-3972 pbjpetcare.org

Sitting With A Friend LLC

3430 Slade Run Dr, Falls Church, VA 22042 (703) 939-7027 sittingwithafriend.com

Pet Stores

American Bird Company

7219 Lee Hwy, Falls Church, VA 22046 (703) 536-2473 americanbirdcompany.com

Chico’s Natural Pet Market

6349 A Columbia Pike, Falls Church, VA 22041 (703) 750-6675