LITERARY

10literary.

DONIEL LEIGH BALTERO identity

I am thou, thou art me, That snake, it envies, faced upon the mirror of lies. Sulking upon that putrid scent, unable to truly escape, I am thou; thou art copying every lingering essence of me.

It wears the same cloak as I, Those eyes, those abominable eyes, it holds the same shade as I. A smile, so dreadful, it terrifies me, Afraid of the lies that hide behind those glimmering whites.

Skin, milky and white, glowing like a star, To be pretty, to be handsome, is to copy everyone that is. To fit, to be just like everyone, For I am thou, but never truly me.

Those moulds, they speak no substance, You are not thou, thou is not me. A non-existent mirror, slowly fleeting, There’s more to me than meets the eye, truly.

I will never be thou; thou will never be me, True, to the world, to myself. Breaking away, gradually, withering those chains, I am myself, and I know my identity.

MA. ANGELLI AVELINO Dirtied Canvass

She knew that she wasn’t that good at painting, but she was trying, and that is already more than enough. “I would just like to get these bottles refilled please,” she said to the man at the paint center. 5 bottles: three for the primaries and two for the neutrals. The shining sun was at the middle of the sky, noontime, and it was scorching hot. Her leg was fidgeting but she was unconscious of this. She could only deadpan at the wooden counter that had splatters of paint on it, fumbling with the plastic bag in her hands, in a hurry to get home.

She hated it here. Outside was just too loud, too colorful for her already noisy mind to complement with. Taking the paint bottles into her plastic bag and leaving her pay, she rushed home. She sits on the floor of her hollow, yellow-wallpapered apartment. Curtains closed, her only source of light was a bright fluorescent bulb. Setting her canvas on the floor, she sits cross-legged. Blue, yellow, blue, dots of red on the ctanvas. Green, forest green, darker green, black. I feel numb. A simple koi painting to relax her mind, for fortune, abundance, and luck. My mind is decaying. Fill the background with turquoise. Pull your brush to create 4 long orange strokes. She mixes the paint on a piece of cardboard, creating a peachy beige color. Picking up the smallest brush, she stipples the orange body with black and beige, but to her, everything looks like black and white. It’s quiet up here, too quiet between these yellow walls. I’m sick. I’m so, so, so, so sick. Only the sound of the fluorescent bulb buzzing and my loud, loud mind. You took away the quiet! “Aghh!” She yells out, forcefully poking a hole through the canvas and tearing a rip between it. It was quiet now, finally, except for the ringing in her ears, and just like a tidal wave, it comes back and washes over her again. It’s not relapsing if she hasn’t gotten any better. I feel trapped in my own body. She’s only going downhill and she can’t get any help. The pressure of society calling her insane is too much for her to bear. Just thinking about it makes her queasy. The disappointment of her loved ones would weigh down on her. It would just crush her. Their perfect daughter, the only one they rely on to become the breadwinner of the house, sick with an ‘illness for a lifetime.’ Indeed, it would be such a shame for them. It would be selfish. Numb. Just like in a dream. I’m looking at reality through a foggy glass. Only noticing she was crying once the canvas was wet, she held herself. Why would you do that? Sighing deeply, she took the canvas and tossed it in the trash. Everytime she called herself an artist, she felt disgusted, ashamed, guilty. She felt like a liar, living paycheck to paycheck, but she was too embarrassed to admit she was working a minimum wage job. She was so bright, so much potential in her. What was it that killed the doctor she dreamt to be? I was just a kid. I’m so disgusted by the things that you said, by the things that you did. She took an interest in painting, as it usually soothes her. I know it’s been years, but I can’t just wash off what you did to me. Sitting her bed, she pulls her drawer, taking out her favorite brush. It was glistening silver, sharp. It made beautiful strokes, especially on a pale canvas. Beautiful red strokes, blood red strokes. I’m just a pawn for the system. I’ll forever be stuck. I wish I was validated. I wish they listened! The pale canvas is ruined, slashed with red all over. It’s just a retouch of the fine picture she has painted that has already faded. She disassociates but before she does, the familiar question she has been asking herself for years rings in her mind again. Why is seeking help so stigmatized? She knows it’ll happen again, and it won’t ever stop. Not now, not ever. Stop the stigma.

Sa henerasyon ngayon, tao di mo mapagkakatiwalaan, Di’ mo alam kaibigan mo mismo, ika’y hinuhusgahan, Ang mga paningin ng mga tao ay di mo na mamanmanan, Sapagkat marami nang mga nagbabalat-kayo sa ating lipunan.

Isang halimbawa natin ang mga maaarteng mga tao, Na parang turing nila sayo isang madumi na aso, Akala mo kung sinong malinis sa panlabas na anyo, Ngunit di nila alam ang budhi nila mas mabaho pa kesa sayo.

Ilagay na din natin ang mga tsismosa sa kanto, Na parang mga bubuyog, tsismis dun tsismis dito, Di na nakuntento pag-uusapan pa ang buhay mo, Na mas kainte-interesado naman ang kwento ng buhay nila kesa sayo.

Di’ natin maiiwasan ang mga ganitong tao na dumating sa ating buhay, Kaya wag ka ding mag tulad sa tsismosa mong kapit-bahay, Ako sa iyo sa Diyos nalang ito ialay, Ang mga problema mo upang di magulo ang inyong pamamahay.

Wag kang manghusga sa iyong kapwa, Pantay-pantay lang tayo kahit ang balat niyo’y di tugma, Tigilan ang panghuhusga sa iyong kapwa, Sapagkat, ang Diyos lamang ang may karapatan nitong gumawa.

JAMELA MAE FALCO acquiescence

Agony and bleary are some words that can define Out of this perdition that thine eyes should see Getting a second wind as what thee need to be Every moment, it’s getting dire and tears can create a brine

Windows of my eyes opened and a prismatic flare greeted me. My head is about to crevice as I look at my device, it’s a complete misery. I became a night owl as I put ink on my loads and hefty modules, And in a nanosecond thou can hear the crow of the cock while having a less joule. Connection that’s like a snail while lock up in a rackety setting, I’m not an A.I. that can grasp up everything. Fighting my drowsy, While listening to a robotic cacophony.

Rummaged around just to get a fact, Analysing and understanding it just to be intact, Doing it is like we have a microchip on our mind, Which in fact we don’t, but we need to acquire

Problems and challenge arise but we need to be tough Mourns and cries silently on night just to be lown I ask myself, Am I learning? Or I’m just complying?

SPECIAL REPORT

MA. JAZMINE YSABEL LEAL

JOHN PATRICK JAEN

JASON MARK TRABADO

WORDS BY

JAMELA MAE FALCO

Brought by the pandemic, the distance learning was drew on wherein most of the students encounter difficulties on adapting to this new normal set-up yet managed to walk half way through the long and arduous path in which beatitude awaits.

To hear the voice of the SHS students, The poor signal for some areas, insufficient load to Hillside-Echo Senior conducted an online sur- attend class, unable to pass on time because vey last February 25. This aims to look-see the of slow internet connection, unexpected elecresponse of students on the blended learning tricity interruption, difficulty in uploading docand to know what barrier hinders them to have uments/files on Google drive to submit on a an effective education. specific subject, difficulty in catching up to the The said survey had a total of 325 respon- lessons, Noisy Neighborhood/environment, dents wherein 57.8 % were satisfied with the having loaded assignments/outputs on differNew Normal Education Set-up while 42.2% ent subject and by that, students sometimes were not. 53.2% were not satisfied with the cannot pass on the deadline given by teacher online submission through the Learning Man- because they do not have enough time to do agement System while 46.8% were satisfied. so, students do not have money sometimes to Majority of the respondents prefer hard copy pass Hard Copy Modules at school and lack which had 52.6% of total votes and 47.4% pre- of gadget. fer soft copy. 66.5% agreed that it is manage- Distance Learning has its own advantagable to take semestral examination virtually. es and disadvantages. Advantages include 56.9 % of the total votes said that they attend learning while staying at home, study at your classes everyday while 27.1% and 14.2% at- own pace and teaches time management tend class most of the time and sometimes skills. Disadvantages are as follows: prone to respectively. 48.3% of the students like to have distraction due to noisy environment, technian academic break every end of the quarter. cal difficulties/interruptions, unstable internet As we are in the process of acclimating connection and difficulties in comprehending new normal set-up, we can’t avoid facing ob- the study material. This sum up that living in stacles that hampers the way. SHS students the digital world by means of education is upvoice out the struggle that they encounter, hill but through patience and perseverance, we this includes; unstable internet connection, can able to shatter the obstacle ahead of us.