Fed Up Magazine: Rebirth Issue

FU . .

Rebirth Issue

Life is Change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

Photographer: Russell Stevens, www.inhecutstudios.com

Fed Up Magazine: Issue 2 Rebirth Issue Mindsurf Media

ISBN 978-1-300-85136-3

90000

9 781300 851363

Welcome to the Jungle Thanks for checking out the Rebirth Issue of Fed Up Magazine.

Inside you’ll find ways to change common life mistakes and grow into the person you seek to become.

Throughout this issue you’ll see snakes, provided by Wild Cargo Pets.

The 2013 Spring issue is in the Chinese year of the snake. In Chinese culture, snakes are associated with rebirth, as they shed their skin.

Thanks to: Model ShantaY MonAe Stylist Beau Monde Stylings Photos In the Cut Studios No Bland Makeup Designs by Fashion Risks For their creative partnership on the Rebirth Photoshoot

Model: Shantay Monae Photographer: Russell Stevens, In the Cut Studios Do Not Print This Page

Rebirth Issue

Fed up: How to Change Your life

Rebirth Issue “Life is one big risk, and you have to take those risks. For me it was letting go of that street life.”

- T.Rone

Newly signed Cash Money artist

“Within the destruction, I found so much. ”

- Angelica Williams Casting for “Once in a Wifetime”

“You’re not meant to look backward in life, you’re meant to go forward.”

- Vernon McKay

Former New Orleans drug kingpin, now a normal dude

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F.U. from the editor

Welcome to your magazine

I’ve always been a visionary, a head filled with ideas and no drive to get them done. I used to be a prisoner of the moment, which means that I was so caught up in living free and fast that I couldn’t make a single plan to move my life forward.

I was like a guinea pig in a wheel, running around seeing the world, but could never hold onto anything because my mindset would only let me grasp things for a moment, two would be too much to ask. Mind you in the eyes of others, I was doing big things— living in New York, trips to Cali, trips to Miami, fabulous parties with celebrities and awesome clothes. But I didn’t have any money. Living on a whim absolutely took its toll on my finances and me. I was facing $3,100 worth of expenses in a month… I worked as a waitress and freelance writer making enough to cover rent, but $400 plane tickets and nightly $30 bar tabs where putting me on the fast track to asking for quarters on the subway.

I couldn’t use my credit card to pay my rent because it was maxed out and I couldn’t work more shifts at the restaurant because I was already working every day. Within a week, I quit my job, paid my last rent and got a ticket back home, to develop my Rebirth Plan.

We were all put on this Earth for a purpose. You’re supposed to use your talents to help people, and this issue features awe-inspiring stories from people who hit rock bottom and made a 180.

Whether you’re working through a career change or there’s just something in your life that’s not going right, you are the only one that has the power to make the change.

Snakes are thrown about the “Rebirth” issue because snakes are so misunderstood. Some people are afraid of them and some people love them. Snakes will bite you if you invade their personal space, but snakes will respect you if you respect them. And snakes shed their skin, a thing that many of the readers of F.U. are trying to do or have succeeded in doing. I’ve put tons of stories in here to inspire and uplift people to take control of their lives. You can shed your old skin and get a new one; you just have to decide to change and deal with the struggle that comes with it- because it’s never easy.

RebIrth

What’s Inside?

The Rebirth Issue - stop & frisk - Parenting TIps - The Future of American Marriage - Single Motherhood - Art ANywhere - Three Cards to Rebuild Your Credit - D.I.Y Fashion by Savana Loring - Snakes on The Runway -Exclusive interview with New Cash Money Artist T. ROne - Uplifting chp from former kingpin Vernon McKay

Staff List: Editor: Toni Carter Contributors: Savana Loring, Inked In Colour, Bobby Constanito, Essential Twist Photographers: Russell Stevens, In the Cut Studios

FU Fashion F

ashion is fun and animals are fun. So you can imagine the F.U. delight when it comes to the new trend this spring- snake skin. It’s everywhere. Every designer has some snake skin print out this spring.

It coincides with the Chinese year of the snake, and the trend is worldwide. Valentino, Jimmy Choo have their own take on our favorite print. And French designers like Martine Rose and Lanvin and London designers V.A. are getting on the trend. Take a look at our top pics for our favorite trends that signify:

Rebirth

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Rebirth Issue

A Brand New Skin

Fierce Prints Spring 2013

Left Page: Strappy purple pumps by Burak Uyan.

White pumps: Faux skin, Beyond Skin.

Aqua pumps: Alejandro Ingelmo Clutch: Jimmy Choo

Right Page: Top row Jeremy Scott’s Spring 2013 line,

second row: Tracey Reese and 3.1 Phillip Lim bottom row: Carlos Miele

Fashion

Fashion

F

ashion is always up for interpretation. That’s part of the reason we love it so much. There are a lot of things going on in the universe and they all seem to coincide with the snake this year. Snake prints are everywhere.

From colored snake print Jimmy Choo clutches to Jeremy’s Scott bold turquoise leather snake skin ensembles, the year of the snake is in full force. What’s cool is that both male and females can get in on this trend; it’s not exclusively female like I think leopard print should be, but that’s a different topic for a different day.

But back to the snakes, designers from all over the world are tapping into this trend. Addidas launched “Year of the Snake” late last year in anticipation of this trend and French designers like Martine Rose, have men strutting the runway in reptilian pants. We’re also fond of the snake skin tie and the simple tee by V.A. It’s a way to do snake skin without looking to over the top.

Nike even made some running shoes and you can get fitted caps with a snake skin brim.

Martine Rose

Women have a few more options; snake skin blouses are in, especially in funky colors. Any snake skin in a bright hue will bring you into this season. Take a look at the colorful snake skin Alejandro Ingelmo heels.

Just in case it wasn’t clear, men should only wear black and white snakeskin. I know we are inches away from accepting gay marriage, but we as a society are not ready to see you as a man walk out the house in orange snakeskin.

Snake skin like any trend should be taken in moderation. Do not become a slave to the skin, as you will be able to find it everywhere this spring. But on casual days use one reptilian accessory to stay fashionable and chic.

Everyday snakeskin accessories can also bring you up to speed. Headbands and wraps from the YGA collective can have you looking cool, calm and collected even on a bad hair day. With so many options in the jungle, don’t get left behind on this trend that reminds us that we can grow, we can shed our skin and experience

REBIRTH

Theodolphius London in

Chanel snakeskin jacket

Snake skin

tees by V.A.

Lanvin Homme windbreaker

Lanvin Homme Snake skin tie

Last Kings snakeskin hat

Snake skin boat shoes

Snake skin Nikes

Fashion

Head Strong

Accessories

S

o having a bad hair day doesn’t have to be the end of the world with these funky snake skin head wraps. The head wraps by YGA collective are perfect to go with this seasons trend. Perfect for wearing your hair down or a funky bun. The green scaly headwrap goes great with a red lip.

And if you’re funky enough, you can pair the colorful head wrap with a bright green lip and keep it moving. Another option is a scarf from Anika Dali. Snake skin scarfs are the funniest trend out right now as they can be used to keep your neck warm, a make shift headwrap or even a belt. Get creative in your snake skin use, it’s only for the season!

Fashion

SnakeSkin NaILS

How to do it $300

Bet you didn’t think that we could take this snake skin trend to your nail beds. But with F.U. all things are possible. But if you don’t know the game you could end up spending $300 in a fancy nail salon to get the same effect as this DIY trick that we’re about to show you.

$7

The expensive nail salons use actual snake skin and strategically glue them on your nails, a process that is time consuming and not at all necessary to get this look. To get this look in a simple do-it-yourself fashion, you’ll need two different colors of nail polish, a make up sponge and either some old fishnet stockings or some tulle.

First paint your nails a base color.

Allow it to dry. Then take some tulle or fishnet stockings and wrap them around your nails.

Then take your second nail color and dab some on one of those makeup wedges. Dap the second color on top of the first color, and make sure to keep the tulle/fishnet in place to keep the snake skin pattern.

Let dry. Apply a clear coat of nail polish to finish and then your all done— simple snake skin nails in under 30 minutes, saving you time and money, but not skimping on style.

Mink Purses

By Clairvoiyant Designs

O

k, so these purses have nothing to do with snakes, but Savana Loring knows all about starting over. Savana is an entrepreneur, who started with a music career, then owned a Cali doggy bar and is now the CEO of Clairvoyant Designs, a design company that focuses on handbags and accessories. Her designs have been gaining attention in South Florida and this month we have featured some of repurposed fashions. Take a look at the Do-It-Yourself mink purse collection, made from already dead animals. Don’t be mad PETA. Savana is an avid thrift shopper and that is where she finds most of the materials for her

handbags and accessories. The handbags in her Mink collection were all created from minks donated on people’s good will. She uses these designs to create affordable fashions that everyone can wear. Keep reading for a Q&A with Savana and a glimpse into the world of repurposed fashions.

REBIRTH

Q: What did you make your first handbag out of?

A: Chopsticks, bamboo, wire and a Forever 21 T-shirt. My signature is a funky liner and a funky zipper pull. I like a little edge with a personal touch.

Q: What type of items do you choose to repurpose?

A: I encourage anyone who is interested in revamping their own crap to look at items that

you love in your closet, but might not fit anymore. If it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t matter how fantastic the fabric is, cut it up. Get creative, take your scissors out and sew it. You have nothing to loose.

Q: You’ve been in different lines of work, why have you decided to stay in fashion?

A: I like to fulfill a need, the whole process of doing custom designs is so rewarding to me because I get to help people. I help them feel better about themselves and I feel good because I’m helping. Also, I can’t type... I’d be useless in an office.

Q: What do you have to say to the readers of the Rebirth issue who are trying to turn their lives around?

A: If you’re unhappy change it. I’m blessed that I didn’t have to sell my body on Sunset

Boulevard, but you have to experience all the ups and downs to get to where you are today.

My journey has taught me to be compassionate to people who are less fortunate.

Snakes on the runway

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Valentino snake skin trench coat.

Suitable for a date night. Calm down the print which can be harsh at time

with a soft bun and pearls.

What did we say about hot col-

ored snake skin? It’s fierce. Check out this retro vest from Proenza Schuler.

Perfect for a casual day at the beach or on the boat. The layers, patterns

and different colors give the piece a

bit of that feminine mystique. Preen

by Thorton Bregazzi

FU ART Rebirth Issue

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Art

OLEKs Crochet

S

ome artists have the ability to create art wherever they go. Some artists exude the spirit of confidence and creativity that make life worth looking at. Olek, a Polish artist has transformed your grandmother’s hobby into some of the sickest and most memorable street art that you’ve ever seen. Olek spends hours hand crocheting the designs that she uses as street art throughout the world.

Olek is the definition of art REBIRTH because she possessed the foresight to know that art is more than just paint on a canvas, art has many dimensions, many sides, shapes and colors and with Olek’s crochet method, she’s showing that anything can be art and that anything can be beautiful. We commend Olek for inspiring people with her sometimes rude and bizarre art. Check her out at the Jonathan Levine Gallery in New York City. It will be an experience you will never forget, as she frequently uses nude females in her art. Pray for a titty slip.

Left page: Olek’s crochet

wallpaper, mask and partial shirt.

Right page: Top: A room designed by Olek.

Second row: Olek and Dev bikes, Olek tags trees.

Bottom: Olek tags a car

What She uses: Crochet Needle Colorful Yarn Every day objects Humans Dedication Picture Frames Cheeky sayings Anything A car tagged by Olek

ART ANYWHERE ART EVERYWHERE

“A loop after a loop.

Hour after hour my madness becomes crochet. Life and art are inseparable.”

-Olek

JONATHAN LEVINE GALLERY

T

he Jonathan Levine Art Gallery in Manhattan is one of the best for edgy and rebellious art. This month the gallery features the work of crochet goddess Olek, as well as AJ Fosik and many other artists that signify what Fed Up Magazine is all about. The picture above is from Olek’s most recent collection, where she used fake skeletons, canvases and humans to create what some refer to as “cheeky” art. We call it outrageous and we love it.

Rebirth

Art

Olek’s “The End is Far” Collection at Jonathan Levine Art Gallery in Manhattan

Left Top: Olek decorates a dining room scene. She has crocheted the table, the chairs, the wall panels, the mirrors, the picture frames, and even crocheted mock fruits, wine and food on the dinner table.

Left Bottom: A new look at dining, an Olek crocheted table.

Top Right: A skull crocheted by Olek, part of the End is Far collection at Jonathan Levine Gallery.

Bottom Right: One of Olek’s “cheeky” crochet sayings.

Aj Fosik: Good Wood

Aj Fosik

Aj Fosik takes woodshop to a whole other level. The wood artist, sands, sculpts and creates colorful woodworks that can be a little scary, but the craftsmanship can’t be denied.

Say hello to the scary saw duster from Michigan: AJ Fosik

A R T

Art

A unique combination of poetry, fashion and art all at the LMNT art gallery.

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FU PoLITICS

Rebirth Issue

News

The New Marriage holds with more burdens and constraints and fewer resources.

Meanwhile, the LGBT movement has recently focused on marriage equality as a stand-alone issue. While this strategy may secure rights and benefits for some LGBT families, it has left us isolated and vulnerable to a virulent backlash. We must respond to the full scope of the conservative marriage agenda by building alliances across issues and constituencies. Our strategies must be visionary, creative, and practical to counter the right’s powerful and effective use of marriage as a “wedge” issue that pits one group against another. The struggle for marriage rights should be part of a larger effort to strengthen the stability and security of diverse households and families. To that end, we advocate: Ø Legal recognition for a wide range of relationships, households and families – regardless of kinship or conjugal status. Ø

Access for all, regardless of marital or

T

he time has come to reframe the narrow terms of the marriage debate in the United States. Conservatives are seeking to enshrine discrimination in the U.S. Constitution through the Federal Marriage Amendment. But their opposition to same-sex marriage is only one part of a broader pro-marriage, “family values” agenda that includes abstinenceonly sex education, stringent divorce laws, coercive marriage promotion policies directed toward women on welfare, and attacks on reproductive freedom.

Moreover, a thirty-year political assault on the social safety net has left house-

Art by Rolando

citizenship status, to vital government support programs including but not limited to health care, housing, Social Security and pension plans, disaster recovery assistance, unemployment insurance and welfare assistance. Ø

Separation of church and state in all matters, including regulation and recognition of relationships, households and families.

Ø

Freedom from state regulation of our sexual lives and gender choices, identities and expression.

Marriage is not the only worthy form of family or relationship, and it should not be legally and economically privileged above all others. A majority of people – whatever their sexual and gender identities – do not live in traditional nuclear families. They stand to gain from alternative forms of household recognition beyond one-size-fits-all marriage. For example: · ·

Senior citizens living together and serving as each other’s caregivers (think Golden Girls) · ·

·

Adult children living with and caring for their parents

Senior citizens who are the primary caregivers to their grandchildren or other relatives Close friends or siblings living in non-conjugal relationships and serving as each other’s primary support and caregivers ·

·

Blended and extended families

Children being raised in multiple households or by unmarried parents ·

·

Single parent households

Households in which there is more than one conjugal partner

Care-giving relationships that provide support to those living with extended illness such as HIV/AIDS.

The current debate over marriage, same-sex and otherwise, ignores the needs and desires of so many in a nation where household diversity is the demographic norm. We seek to reframe this debate. Our call speaks to the widespread hunger for authentic and just community in ways that are both pragmatic and visionary. It follows in the best tradition of the progressive LGBT movement, which invented alternative legal statuses such as domestic partnership and reciprocal beneficiary. We seek to build on these historic accomplishments by continuing to diversify and democratize partnership and household recognition. We advocate the expansion of existing legal statuses, social services and benefits to support the needs of all our households. http://www.beyondmarriage.org

News

stop n frisk

Killing Black America

J

ust as hip-hop music, fitted baseball caps, slangs and tattoos have become a part of urban culture, so have dehumanizing policing tactics such as ‘Stop and Frisk’ and fatal incidents of disproportionate police brutality.

The stories of minority-police injustices are countless, and on Friday, March 22, the shooting of Kimani Gray a 16-year-old Brooklyn boy by plainclothes NYPD officers sent anger resonating throughout urban communities throughout New York. Activists, rappers, singers, homeless people, poets, college graduates, high school students, fathers, sons, mothers, and daughters all expressed how police brutality affected them through protest.

Mackenley Zamilus, 23, a maintenance worker from Brooklyn, was stopped and frisked for smoking a cigarette outside a 24-hour deli in his neighborhood. It was 4 a.m. and he was waiting for his sandwich to be made, NYPD told him 20 minutes was too long to be waiting for a sandwich and made him assume the position.

“The more you go through it, the more you get used to it,” he said. “They look for the ones with the braids or the baggy jeans, tattoos, and they judge us for going down the block because we’re the wrong skin color,” he said.

Zamilus has been routinely stopped and frisked since he was a teenager, but as he got older he became less angry and began to accept it as a part of life.

“I used to get upset, but now that I’m older and have a daughter, I learned the law and I’ll tell the police they can’t stop me because I know my rights,” he said. “It’s partially our fault, society portrays us as a certain way… our backs are always against the wall…we kill our own people, and we get into everything but knowing the law.”

Dannette Chavis, the mother of Gregory Chavis, 19, who was shot on October 9, 2004 by police is determined to make a change.

Dannette Chavis’ story will bring tears to your eyes. Her son, Gregory was shot in the back during an altercation. His friends picked him up and tried to carry him to Liberty Hospital in the Bronx, but NYPD demanded that they put the body down. Gregory’s friends refused, as it was clear that their friend needed their help. NYPD drew their guns on them and forced them to put Gregory’s body down. He died a block away from the hospital. Doctors believed that he could have survived if he was brought to the hospital in time.

“People are dying across the US for nothing, there are a whole lot of ‘Travyon Martin’s’ going on,” Dannette Chavis said. “These are God-ordained rights, human rights, you don’t need a law to tell you what you’re entitled to.”

The series of injustices to the young minority community goes on and on, names like Sean Bell, 23,who was shot at over 50 times in Jamaica, Queens in 2006 by plain-clothes officers, on the morning of his wedding day. Or Ramarley Graham, the unarmed 18-year-old who was fatally shot in the chest in his grandmother’s bathroom in the Bronx, as attempting to flush a bag of marijuana down the toilet in February of this year. The officer that shot Graham, Richard Haste is still free and has not even been suspended pay.

“I’d rather have my loved one back, but the only option is to sue for the damage, fight the law and receive some form of justice,” Chavis said.

Dannette has started a petition to Attorney General Eric Holder explaining her dissatisfaction with the criminal justice system against minorities. “Freedom is not free, people sacrifice many things to allow people participate in their own civil liberties,” she said. “Now a days, a police man with an imagination is enough to get you killed. If they think you’re reaching for your gun, but you were reaching for your keys, it’s sufficient enough reason in their mind to kill you.”

Despite the dismal situation with police brutality against minorities, racial profiling and Stop and Frisk in New York and other urban areas across the United States, there is still hope. Grassroots organizations have popped up all across the nation in efforts to end Stop and Frisk and unjustified minority police brutality. Jose LaSalle of Stop Stop and Frisk Now wants people to learn their rights, and understand that Stop and Frisk is racist and uncon-

stitutional.

“Blacks and Hispanics have become comfortable with this situation, we need our kids to take back their youth and get them to participate in these programs. It’s a fight that’s long from over. We can’t have our kids feeling like criminals,” he said.

According to statistics from the New York Civil Liberties Union, minority neighborhoods are targeted more frequently than predominately white communities. In Brooklyn the disparity is clear. In 2011 in East New York, where the population is more than 50 percent black, there were over 27,000 stop and frisks. In Greenpoint, Brooklyn, which is more than 50 percent white, there were less than 2,000 stops in the same year.

Additionally, in the first three months of 2012, approximately 203,000 New Yorkers were stopped and frisked, 89 percent of them were completely innocent, according to the New York Civil Liberties Union.

The NYPD could not be reached for a comment.

“We are not going to stop fighting it, we need to unite and abolish it. Stop and frisk hasn’t been working and it isn’t going to work now,” LaSalle said.

If anyone takes anything from these senseless killings, LeMont Badru, a youth organizer for Picture the Homeless, wants people to get involved. “It’s sad that it’s become a regular part of life for young minorities,” he said. “But we hope to wake people up and get them motivated to plug-in and get them involved with the organizations that are here. That’s the only way change will come if we are organized,” he said.

politics

stop The Violence rant Bobby Constantino to the Stop and Frisk Freedom Fighters If enough is really enough, I would like to respectfully ask why we are doing another march? Marches are beautiful displays of solidarity, but we do them every time this happens and nothing changes.

Often, people get angry at marches and they turn to violence because on a deeper level they sense that the march is not going to produce any concrete results.

Shockingly, we are one or two of these murders away from April 29, 1992, NYC 2013 edition, and yet we keep marching.

Let’s nonviolently go to City Hall and refuse to leave until the Mayor guarantees that his police force will stop hunting and killing young people.

Let’s nonviolently march in front of the entrances to City Hall as a human chain so no one can get in or out until the Mayor promises to stop detonating the fourth amendment in our city.

Let’s nonviolently march around City Hall, like Jericho, refusing food or water until several of us collapse in the street and get taken away by ambulances as the media broadcasts every shameful image of what our options have been reduced to by Mayor Bloomberg and Commissioner Kelly.

Let’s nonviolently fill the jails, over and over again, until they are bursting at the seams, and the courts have ground to a halt under the strain, and we are breaking the city’s bank, and the Mayor realizes he has no choice but to respond to our specific nonviolent demands.

Let’s boycott the financially strapped MTA buses, and send an economic message that will reverberate throughout the entire city.

Let’s commemorate the Edmund Pettis bridge being shut down on Bloody Sunday by marching across the Brooklyn Bridge in 2013, and shutting it down again and again and again, nonviolently, until we get results.

I’m not knocking marches, or the incredible work you all do. I’m just saying if enough is really enough, then let’s get serious about what we are doing and plan some meaningful, nonviolent responses to the highly organized human rights atrocities being perpetrated right before our eyes, by a gang of thugs

that are wooping people’s asses with guns, wiping their asses with the Constitution, and then laughing in our faces as the Mayor and Police Commissioner defiantly defend them while we march around and yell for a while, before going home, making dinner and watching TV. I know that I am oversimplifying, and that my words are not doing justice to the amazing work you all at SMIN do every day, from Copwatch Patrols to trial support, and so on, but on the issue of marches we have got to organize, train, prepare, and strategize better.

The seriousness of what we are witnessing demands it, as do the mothers of the victims.

Failing to act nonviolently in due time allows tensions to mount dangerously, and begs for a violent response as the only alternative. We must also prevent this from happening at all costs, because they will use violence by the community as a justification to crack down even harder, and with added public support.

Ramrley Graham, Chantel Davis, Mohamed Bah, Noel Polanco, Renaldo Cuevas, I mean how long does the list have to get?

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Love you and the work you are doing. Please keep it up.

FU hEALTH

Rebirth Issue Do Not Print This Page

Health

REBUILD CREDIT C

redit is necessary for just about everything in today’s world. Without good credit, you may find it next to impossible to get a car, a home or start a business. But bad credit is not the end of the world. Millions of people around the world bounce back from low credit scores, just by knowing the market, understanding that building good lending practices is important and selecting the right card for you. Choosing the right card to rebuild your credit can guarantee you success in your credit future and choosing the wrong can ensure your credit failure.

It’s true that there are lots of great credit cards on the market with zero APRs and other attractive offers; however, banks and other lenders only reserve these cards for people with good to great credit scores. Setting your sights on cards at the lower end of the market will not only help you avoid the heartbreak of getting another credit card application denied, but will also prevent you from damaging your credit score even further, which occurs whenever another application is denied by a lender.

The only way of rebuilding credit is to open another credit card and exhibit good lending behavior so lending institutions can start trusting you again with more and more credit. Should you just settle for any of the cards on the market for people with bad credit? Absolutely not!

There are so many cards on the market that if you’re not careful you will end up plunging deeper into debt and damage your credit further.

3 Awesome Secured Credit Cards for Rebuilding Credit: 1.

Navy Federal Credit Union Rewards Secured Card Looking for the most popular secured credit card on the market for rebuilding credit? Well they don’t come better than this piece of plastic. Like all good things, this secured card comes with a catch. Only members of the military and their family member’s can qualify to sign up for the credit union. With an exceptionally low APR starting from 8.99 percent, this card also comes with additional bargains including zero transfer and annual fees. Getting this card gives you access to an attractive rewards program with goodies, such as a point on every dollar you spend. The rewards can then be redeemed for various gift certificates and cards.

2.

Citi Secured MasterCard It’s no secret that a good card is paramount for rebuilding credit, that’s why this card continues to attract loads of people looking to reestablish credit. With a low annual fee of $29 a year and the automatic investing of your money into an 18-month interest accruing savings account, this card is great for those trying to make better money choices. The APR is high at 18.24 percent, but having a card that will yield 1.01 percent annually is a deal that’s hard to say no to.

3.

Wells Fargo Secured Card Very few people will disagree that this secured credit card from Wells Fargo is still a steal. It comes with a 16.49 percent APR, which is considered relatively low as well as an annual fee of $18. If you have filed for bankruptcy recently, this is one of the few cards that you may be able to get your hands on, as the lender considers applications from people who have been out of bankruptcy just over a year.

With good credit behavior, Wells Fargo could transfer you to an unsecured card within a short time and refund your security deposit. Many of us are aware of Wells Fargo’s reputation within the lending industry and this secured card could be your gateway to rebuilding credit and affordable loans in the near future.

Top Reasons for Bad Credit:

Rebuild Credit

A community poll on what messed up your credit:

Shopping sprees My significant other Traveling Dates Car Payments Sex hot lines Late payments Parents put bills in my name Didn’t know had to pay back right away Bankruptcy Pursuit of technology Furnishing apartment Payday loans Not paying my phone bill Porm & other related websites

Is your credit good or bad?

Check at www.Credit-Land.com

While credit cards come in different forms, they fall into three main categories: Secured, Unsecured and Prepaid. Some experts say secured credit cards are the best way to go for people looking to triumph over bad credit, while others experts bet their lives on unsecured cards.

There are a few experts who argue that while prepaid cards cannot directly be used to rebuild your credit, they can easily set you up to reinvent your lending habits and go on to become responsible with mainstream credit cards.

Health

The Single Mom Struggle M

By BlogHer’s Inked in Colour

y husband had an affair, but long before he did this he made choices that kept him away from us. Right from the very beginning. He chose other people, other events, other places over his family. So even though our relationship only broke down two months ago I’ve been functioning as a single parent for about eighty percent of the time that Bo has been alive.

My mother was a single parent. When I was eleven, my parents marriage ended and my mother became solely responsible for my two younger brothers and me. It sunk her into a deep dark hole. She did the best she could for us, but it nearly destroyed her. I didn’t understand then, but I do now. I didn’t always agree with the choices she made, and I still don’t, but I know that everything she did was out of love for us. I knew then that she wasn’t coping. And I understand that now, more than I ever wanted to.

Except for women who choose to fall pregnant (via sperm donor or the like) and know right from the beginning that they will be a single parent (and for the record I don’t think this makes it any easier really), I don’t think there is a single woman on this earth who faces single parenthood without some reluctance. Doing it alone, for most of us, was never the game plan. Relationships fall apart, people die, people fall out of love, people cheat, people move on, people make choices… good and bad… that affect the course of the lives of everyone around us. We are all intrinsically connected after all.

There is so much to be said about the honest experience of the single parent. There is so much silence surrounding the truth. There are so many things that people are afraid to say.

Women so afraid of admitting they aren’t coping. Afraid of the judgment that they face.

So many women who are terrified to ask for help. Women who are asking for help and not getting it. Women who are struggling financially, emotionally, spiritually but who aren’t being heard.

So many truths that aren’t understood. And therefore, there are so many misrepresentations and the great social prejudice that comes with a great social silence. The attitude that our society has that tends to blame a single mother for her circumstances, I believe, comes from a greater unknowing. An incredible cultural ignorance.

There is a great social prejudice against single mothers. Women who have babies and who leave their husbands. Women who choose to continue a pregnancy even when the paternal father refuses to acknowledge the baby as his responsibility. Women who make great personal sacrifice for the sake of a child. For the well-being of a child. The woman who decides to continue a pregnancy even though the man she is with (or was with) chooses to opt out. The attitude of our society that choosing not to terminate a pregnancy somehow equates to her having sole responsibility for the care of that child makes no sense to me. Because of biology (and society), men have the option of cashing out of a relationship, of a family. They can walk away and continue their lives much like before, without great (financial or emotional) responsibility, sleep deprivation or stress. They can go back to friendships and relationships and family. But the woman (and I say woman here, but this is of course not only the case, single dads experience the same if not greater prejudice at times) is left behind. With a great responsibility, (almost always) a decline in living conditions and lifestyle and more often than not no real help.

Parenting Tips

Set Small Goals:

Spend 15 minutes tending to one task at time.

Rotate until task is com-

plete. For example, spend 15 minutes sorting laundry, before spending 15 minutes studying.

Maintain a social life:

Plan, plan, plan. That’s the only way you will get out the house and not feel

guilty about leaving your

child, while enjoying your life.

I don’t think anyone can truly appreciate the incredible emotional responsibility that a woman is left with when she becomes a single parent. It is not only the 24 hour a day 7 days a week responsibility of the care of a child. It is not only the (incredible stress) of sole (in many cases) financial responsibly. It’s not only the incredible pressure of being the only person to make every choice surrounding a child’s care and upbringing and circumstances. It’s not just the fact that it is completely and totally unreasonable that our society expects that ONE person, alone and completely without support can be undeniably patient and giving to a child day in, day out for many, many years. It is insane and it is just not humanly possible. It is all of these things in combination with each other, and so many more.

Be Flexible:

For me, as a single parent, the biggest challenge with single parenting is time. The lack of time is directly related to my own issues of a loss of identity and self-esteem. Issues that I am trying to conquer, trying to overcome, trying to become empowered by, instead of feeling powerless because of. I am a parent for every minute of every day. Even at night when Bo has gone to bed and I have gone to work, sitting at my desk in the spare room, I am still

every one.

You’re going to still want

to enjoy your pre-child life, so try to do home chores when you have free time.

Set a routine you can stick with:

Consistency is key when

parenting, your child wants you, your significant other wants you and you need time to yourself. Set a

routine that incorporates

the only parent in the house. I know when she wakes (and she does, often) that it is always me who will go to her. I can’t pop out for a trip to the supermarket alone or catch up with friends without a baby or have a long bath or go for a walk because there is no one else for the day-to-day. It is isolating and it is a very displacing feeling.

I’m not sure if anyone who has not lived in it could understand the incredible loneliness that comes from being trapped, in isolation, with a small child as the only regular company and a lack of adult conversation. As lovely as my daughter is, and as wonderful a conversationalist she is becoming -- we still don’t speak the same language. It’s not enough. That is something that people don’t truly talk about. About the late nights alone. The frustration with a clingy, needy child that you get no break from. Caring for a sick child alone (and then often sick, yourself). There is so much silence, and in that silence I am sure there are other mothers suffering. Truly suffering with little or no input from outside of the relationship she has with her child. But why can’t she speak up? What have we done as a society that has alienated all of us from each other. Where asking for help is seen as a weakness? Where offering help is a last resort?

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the incredible responsibility that is being a sole parent. I look at Bo and I think, how can I possibly do this, all of this, alone? This isn’t what I wanted.

I wanted to be with her father. I wanted the happy family. I wanted to be together. To share the load. To share the joy. I wanted to be able to sit on the couch with my husband at the end of the day and laugh about the beautiful things she did, and cry over the frustrations and have him there to hold my hand and help out and love her like I do. Because as hard as it is to not be able to share the challenges… it’s just as hard not having someone right there to share the joy. The little things, like a kid finally doing a poo after being bunged up for a few days, or eating their whole lunch, or having a proper nap… we want to share these things with someone and let’s be honest, no one else cares about those things as much (or if at all) as the parents.

The other night Bo woke at 10pm and wouldn’t go back to sleep so I got her up and snuggled with her on the couch in front of a movie. She was so beautiful. She sat eating peanut butter on toast. Licking her fingers and talking to me very seriously in her own language, every now pausing and raising her eyebrows at me… as if to say, do you understand mama, are you hearing me? And I would say, yes of course. She would then start giggling and shouting at the people on the TV. And it was such a perfect moment. I looked at her and I could see a glimpse of the little girl she is going to be and I wish her dad had been here to see her.

To share in the absolute joy that she is. I wish I had someone to truly share those moments with. The moments of pride.

When I think of the incredibly unreasonable expectations we have on mothers in general, I am shocked. Our society pushes for (unreasonable) perfection. Our society expects that mothers should raise these perfect children whilst being essentially isolated from the world.

Instead of offering support, we offer judgmental advice, books with parenting “rules” and guidelines that have the potential of stripping mothers of their instinct. And then we add on top of that a mother without the support of a partner, without the small moments of respite that the partnered mother is given. Without the time to find herself.

And we turn around and we judge these mothers. Single mothers. We judge them. I know a young single mother who was called the most disgusting names by her own brother, because she is without a man. Because she chose to continue her pregnancy and raise her beautiful child alone. Because she didn’t have the choice to just “walk away.” Because she chose

life. We judge women we see alone, wrangling children. The plight of the single parent has become fodder for television shows and sitcoms and jokes… what we don’t do is offer real, supportive, full assistance. I’m not talking about pensions or money or aid. I’m ashamed (albeit extraordinarily grateful) to have to ask for a handout from the government to survive… and I’m sure most people are. I’d prefer to have the facility to raise my child the way (I believe) she deserves to be raised and work enough to make good money to support us without help. But as one person, that is not possible right now; our society doesn’t support working options for mothers who want to keep their children with them.

I’m talking about swapping judgment for humanity. Hate for love. Do-it-my-way-advice for hands-on help.

Why is it so hard for us as a society to be supportive of our people? Why are we always so quick to judge and so slow to react? When did we become so distant from each other? When did society stop being about community? When did parenthood become more about rules and less about raising good, strong, caring people -- together.

a woman of Grace A

ngelica Williams, 26, is a consultant for A&W management and Season 1 cast member on “Once in a Wifetime” -- a movement to help empower women and give them opportunities that they may not have got on their own. But in addition to helping women live their dreams, Angelica has an inspiring story of her own to share.

Angelica is the oldest of six kids, a job that she said came with lots of responsibility. She also has three kids— she had her oldest son in high school at 17 years old. He’s now 8 years old and is autistic. Despite having a special needs baby while she was still a baby, Angelica managed to complete her education at one of the top universities in Florida, and is a proud Florida Gator.

Graduating college wasn’t easy for her either; she got pregnant again and had her daughter while still enrolled. She managed to finish school, start her own business and have another daughter upon graduation.

In the past Angelica internalized most of her problems and issues, but about two years ago

she found the strength to be the woman that she was destined to be.

She got into the entertainment industry, doing events like the Gainesville Music Summit to unite underground artists and producers. She liked working in the nightlife, but found it very hard to advance in her career if she wasn’t dishing out sexual favors in the male-dominated industry. She ended up hitting a hardship and had to move back in with her mother, with her three children and without a car.

She kept networking and marketing and got involved with the “Once in a Wifetime” movement, where she is proud to use her talents to help women who need a little extra push to get them where they’re destined to be.

Here’s an exclusive Q&A about what the “Once in a Wifetime” movement is really about:

Q: What is the “Once in a Wifetime” movement about?

A: The program is about empowering families. Sometimes women and men like myself go

through a course in life-- you have criminal records so you can’t get jobs, you’re a homeless woman with kids, whatever it may be, people just need a better outlook on life. Some people are so at the bottom that they have to look up to see the ground. The movement is about positive people uplifting others. God gives the biggest battles to his strongest soldiers.

Q: How did you make it through your struggle?

A: My grandmother helped me with my son and my daughters and kept me from being an

other statistic. For me it seemed like nothing ever went in line, but God had spoke to me and said you need to step out on faith. As long as God’s around, people can’t step in. I learned how to say “No.” I cried many nights and that built up something inside of me. I used to feel lowest of low, but now you can’t get that out of me. I also know how many women that my story can help. I want them to know as moms you can still go to college, love yourself, just focus.

Q: What advice would you give women in a situation similiar to yours, an independent career woman with three kids?

A: Bulletin boards! Plan out every minute of the day if you can and put it in a place where

you can look at it every day. People think I’m crazy because I carry sticky notes and write down things during the day to put on my bulletin board. I have to have structure for myself and because of my autistic son.

Q: What would you tell women and men who feel like they’ve hit rock bottom?

A: Praise God every morning because it could be worse, look at small things. Glorify the

lord, not the world. Living with my mom as an adult, it slowed me down, but within that destruction I found so much, I spent more time with my daughters. There is no bottom, jut keep God first. People say that they do and they still haven’t been blessed, but they don’t mean it. I mean I wake up and keep God first, I eat and keep God first, he’s always first, because I know God will make a way if I stay obedient.

More about the Once in a Wifetime movement: Check out http://www.onceinawifetime.com/blog.html

Rebirth Issue

Entertainment

"F.U. Love" From Cash Money's

T. Rone: Jacksonville’s T.Rone has gone from local artist to Cash Money recording artist in what seems like overnight, but T.Rone said that he’s been grinding since 2006 and that his success is the result of hard work and dedication to his craft. A few weeks after he dropped his rock/hip-hop single “F.U, Love”, he had nine record labels calling him over night. With one Billboard topping single already under his belt and a new record deal with Cash Money’s Brooklyn Nights, T. Rone is a musical force that can not be ignored.

F.U. Love

Q: How did you come up with this song?

A: F.U. Love, it’s something that everyone has said or will say in this lifetime. Even if

you’re a Christian, everybody has said it. Even if you’re not in a relationship, if you dealing with your brothers, sisters, cousins, they don’t pay you back, you’re quick to say F.U. If you haven’t said it yet, then you will say it. And then things turn right around and you say “Hello Love,” which is the edited version of the song. Its just life and this is probably the realest song out right now.

Q: What made you get serious about music?

A: Life is one big risk, you have to take those risks. For me it was letting go of that

street life. In 2006, I decided to put down the street life and start doing music. I had to let certain things go in my life that were generating good money. Who wants to be in prison when there’s all this legal money out here?

Q:You a success now, so tell them about where you came from: A: Duval! It’s beautiful, that’s home. I can talk about outside love all day, but there

is nothing like hometown love. I got the keys to the city, metaphorically of course. My song playing outside of the country right now, but I can’t forget that Jacksonville raised me.

Q:Who you respect musically?

A: Eric B & Rakim in the hip hop world, the delivery on “Ain’t No Joke” really stood out.

And then the Florida legends like Trick Daddy, Uncle Luke and UGK and Pimp C.

Q: How do you get in the zone?

A: I don’t write, when I record I don’t go in with a blue print. I haven’t written anything in three years and a lot of people don’t know this but I love rock. And I hope I introduce some new people to rock that may have never even thought of listening to it before.

Q:What’s it been like since you dropped F.U Love?

A: It’s been crazy, one night I’m in my home studio and the next day all the record

labels want me. I’m enjoying the ride, working hard when most people are chilling with their feet up. I keep recording, that’s what I do. I have the change to live forever through my music. I have the chance to never die.

Q:

You’re featured in the Rebirth issue, what can you tell people who are trying to start over and change their lives?

A:

You can’t serve two gods, for me I had to let one thing go and lock into the music business. It was hard, but it could have been harder if I didn’t have people behind me believing in me. Also, stay focused, and have a hell of a support system. The power of belief is remarkable, with it you can move mountains.

F.U./ Hello Love by T.Rone

Lyrics

Hello Love!

SO f*ck you love, f*ck you

And then she killed him! (yeah)

I know ya deal,

love!

Just to be a thousandaire

And I know y can get me Hello love.

F*ck you love, f*ck you love,

killed (get me killed).

I know you’re real

f*ck you love. Hello love.

How dare ya judge, the

And I know you can have

I know you’re real, and I know

ways of lust

me killed

you can have me killed.

When you’re the reason you can have me killed… that I don’t trust?

killed…love

F.U. you Love! F.U. Love! oh love…

Have me killed How dare ya judge?

The ways of lust, when you’re

Hello Love!

F*ck you love.

the reason that I can’t trust!

I know your deal.

Hello love.

So f*ck you love, f*ck you

And I know you can get Little Bobby put his trust in love, f*ck you love! me killed,

a girl,

You can get me killed

She promised him the world. and I know you can have me

F*ck you love………

F.U. love, F.U. love, F.U. She even f*cked him like no killed Love, F.U. love!

other.

F.U. love

She said she didn’t want

F.U. love…I love know

him for his money,

you can get me killed… And made him do some(ok)

thing funny….

Hello Love.

Like fall in love.

I know you’re real, And

But all the while she was a

I know you can have me skeezer killed

A fuckin mind teaser.

Have me killed

She learned his where-

How dare ya judge

abouts, his in and outs, the

the ways of lust,

way he moved.

when you’re the reason And then he married her that I don’t trust!

with his heart wide open…

T.Rone single “F.U. Love”

Music To Watch: Joey BadA$$ & ProEra

T

Joey BadA$$: The Apocalypse

he Joey BadA$$ clique is the next thing to blow. This little boy— I say little because he was born in 1995. He’s like 18 and his friends are too. But the homie’s dope with the rhymes and he rolls with a bunch of weirdo’s. And the weirdo’s are pretty dope, but BadA$$ the baddest. His sound is New York because he’s from Brooklyn, but he’s got a swag that I think the South can get on too, because his lyrics make you shut the hell up and listen. I don’t want to go as far as I’m about to go, but he sounds like a young Nas, in the sense that he a young kat whose eyes have seen more than he’s supposed too.

You gotta check him on “Hardknock” and his clique ProEra out, they’ve got two mixtapes.

Get ya Bizness Right

Giving you the opportunity to set the record straight:

Ciara

This month we reach out to Ciara. Congrats on getting the role on the new season of “The Game” playing what is known as a “groupie hoe.” Did you get familiar with the role while playing 50 Cent’s side piece, Amare Stoudemireside’s side piece or right now as Future’s arm candy? Ciara, a few of us have taken a consensus and the results determine that you are a replaceable role model, but we are offering you the opportunity to get your bizness right. Girl, make somebody proud, because honestly we sick of that back roll thing you do.

So we ask for the Rebirth issue, will you completely discard this lame, desperate image and transform into the woman that you could be? You set the female population back 30 years with that “Sorry” song. Begging him to come back...have two seats.

Update: Rick Ross and PR team did not respond to F.U.’s request to validate his street cred.

Entertainment

Ghetto Hero: Vernon McKay While the name Vernon McKay might not ring a bell to you, about twenty years ago his name was in the mouth of everyone in the New Orleans drug industry. Brian “Baby” Williams of Cash Money Records slang weight with him, Master P looked up to him, evidenced in minute 3:35 of the “Ghetto Heroes” song and thousands of people relied on him for their crack fixes. Now McKay, after serving kilos on the streets, spending 15 years in prison and doing a lot of soul searching, McKay is what his friends and family never thought he would be – a regular dude who shops at thrift stores. But we’ll let him tell it, read as McKay does an exclusive Q&A with Fed Up Magazine about what it’s like making it out of the street life alive.

Q: Tell us what your life was life: A: I had to go to church with body guards, I slept with guns, cars blew up in my

driveway, but before that I was deputy sheriff. A girl broke up with me and broke my heart. You fall in love one good time in your life and it’s like graduation if you can make it through love without killing or hurting yourself. I couldn’t go to work, I got evicted and I had to go back to my mom’s house. As a man, that didn’t sit well with me. And then I met with some friends and they started helping me get into the drug game.

Q: What helped you change?

A: I realized everyone wants me, police want me, drug dealers want me, but everyone wants me dead. I was paying more for security than anything, it was all in vain.

Q: What do you have to say about the process of change?

A: Everybody in life right now, they are exposed to exactly what they need to be

exposed to so that they can get to where they’re going. I had to go to prison to become the man I am today. I had people praying for me to get off the streets and I was praying for it too, but my prayer was answered when went to jail. There’s all the same things outside of prison as there are inside of prison, you can deal drugs, you can get “women,” you can do basically everything, it’s a little community, so if you’re not strong enough to break the cycle you can end up being the same thing you were in prison outside of prison. Jail isn’t the answer, you’re the answer. I really was in prison before I was in prison.

All seeds have to be dried out before they can go through germination, and just like that a human being has to be dried out in order to produce a seed that can grow.

Q: Changing is a hard thing to do, because you not only have to change yourself, but the people around you have to accept that change. What was that like?

A:

People see me in the streets and they know me for my old life, but I was just a tool being used by the devil at that time. They’re constantly talking about that old man, but everyone that I know that stayed with that life is either murdered or in jail for the rest of their life.

Q: Because of the entertainment industry, a lot of young dudes look up to the guy that you used to be, rather than the man you are now. What do you have to say about that?

A:

All men are supposed to provide for their family. Five years ago BET contacted me to be on American Gangster, but I declined because I’m the owner of a tree company in New Orleans and I don’t want that affecting the business that I have. I make sure my family and my girl are taken care of, she drives BMWs and has anything she wants. I went a good part of my life as a drug dealer that wanted to be seen and noticed; now I just want to go unnoticed. My life is so different than it was.

Q: Do you have any regrets?

A: I can say I regret selling drugs, because it’s a form of genocide. Someone is still affect-

ed by the drugs I sold. Because the woman I sold the drugs to are selling their bodies to get more drugs, someone is stealing from their family to buy drugs. It’s a cycle.

McKay doesn’t want to be known as an American Gangster, but rather as a good man. He continues to support his family as an entrepenuer. He is a designer and an artist manager.

For more info contact: vernonmckaydesigns@gmail.com and turn the pages for an exclusive sneak peak of his tell-all book. www.facebook.com/VernonMcKay

lit

Chp. 21 by Vernon McKay

In the last days the Bible says that no one knows the hour in which the Lord, Jesus Christ, is going to come. It’s told that he will come like a thief in the night, and Vernon believed those words. On earth however, prior to any harm coming a man’s way, there are signs and symbols for the conscious minds. Several signs and symbols had been revealed to Vernon but he failed to take heed to any of them.

Nikki Bradford had gotten arrested again as she attempted to pass stolen checks to retailers.

She had been arrested by the state and taken into federal custody. She was charged with two consecutive counts of forgery.

Nikki already had an extensive prior criminal history. The addition of yet another felony conviction would have made her eligible to receive a sentence enhancement five times that of the initial charge. She dreaded the idea of losing her freedom again, having to return to prison and the thought of being separated from her kids for a very long time. While sitting behind the prison bars, she made up her mind that she was going to do what ever it took to have the charges against her dismissed.

Nikki was unable to afford a paid attorney therefore the government appointed her a free, public defender attorney. During the initial visit, she immediately inquired as to if she could have assisted the U.S. Attorney’s office in any on going drug or criminal investigations. She had hoped that by doing so that she would have received a lesser sentence or no sentence at all. The attorney assigned to her case was unable to guarantee any promises, but he assured her that he would have mentioned her concerns to the U.S. Attorney’s office. Nikki’s attorney contacted the U.S. attorney’s office and he was referred to a branch of the Drug Alcohol And Firearms department.

He mentioned Nikki’s proposition to the agents and they were interested in talking to her. It was discovered that the agents visited Nikki at the Community Correction Center located at 2800 Gravier Street. During the brief meeting it was mentioned that Vernon Mckay was the person in which Nikki had planned on furnishing information on. Being that Vernon’s name had been mentioned frequently at the U.S. Attorneys office, the agents were well aware of who he was. They also knew that their coworkers had already begun an investigation into Vernon’s criminal activity. The agents wasted no time in contacting their coworkers and turning their leads over to them. FBI Agents Gil Torres and Frank Plumbley, the Mulatto, visited Nikki the following day.

“We’re told by your attorney that you’d like to assist us at apprehending someone? Is that correct?” Torres asked.

“Yeah. I do but I need to know what y’all gon’ do for me, first!”

“It all depends. We haven’t had the chance to look at your file yet... we were just told about this late yesterday evening-- but if it’s just some stuff dealing with checks, I don’t see where that will be a problem...”

“Okay then. Y’all already know that it’s Vernon McKay who I’m talkin’ bout, Hahn?”

During the initial interview, Nikki notified the agents of the shoot-outs that Vernon had been involved in, the women that he was known to have dated, the types of cars that he owned and drove and the most amount of money and drugs that she had ever seen him with. She gave detailed, lengthy accounts of every criminal act that she had known of and she fabricated and exaggerated the rest. In fact, she babbled so much so that the agents had run short on time and they had to abruptly end the debriefing and reschedule it for the following day. The agents had learned more during the brief interview with Nikki than they did months prior and they were very optimistic about their investigation into Vernon.

The following day Nikki was taken to the Eastern District U.S. Attorney’s Office located at 500 Camp Street. She gave the same account of Vernon’s drug dealings thatshe had given

Chp. 21 by Vernon McKay

the day before. The entire debriefing had been recorded. Upon completion of the debriefing, the lead U.S. Attorney’s, Al Winters, felt that Nikki was indeed a reliable source. She was taken to an adjourning building. She briefly read through a few official pages that an agent handed her. The same agent took mugshot photos of her and she signed her name and accepted the official, dangerous job of becoming a government informant. She was given a list of telephone numbers to report to on a daily basis, and she was released from prison shortly afterwards.

Nikki’s absence had been noticed during the short time that she had been imprisoned. Vernon had inquired as to her whereabouts and he was told that she had been arrested. Pat had assured Vernon that because of Nikki’s long criminal record that she would have been denied bond and incarcerated for a very long time. Pat was sure that Nikki was about to serve time.

He began packing her belongings and he rearranged some of the furniture in the house. Pat was stunned when he saw Nikki walk through the apartment door and he too became curious as to how she had been released. When asked how she had mysteriously been released Nikki replied, “I don’t know... I guess they dropped the charges, Bro!” Vernon soon learned that Nikki had been released and he immediately concluded that she was working with the cops.

Nikki agreed to receive bi-weekly payments from the government.

It never was discovered as to how much money she received but it was estimated at approximately one thousand dollars, give or take. Prior to Nikki being arrested, she had been short on cash and all of her bills were delinquent, but during the next few days she suddenly began to flash large wads of money. She also refurnished the entire house with new furniture and accessories. She had her old Cadillac repainted, and she added an expensive Alpine stereo and alarm system to the car. Vernon took note of the many purchases that Nikki had made and he inquired as to where she had acquired the money to do such things in a short period of time. When asked, Pat too was unaware of the source. Vernon continued to monitor Nikki’s spending and it steadily appeared to have increased on a weekly basis. Upon noticing the steady incline in spending, there was no doubt in Vernon’s mind that Nikki was an informant and he began to distance himself even further away from her.

Being that Vernon had lost every bit of trust towards Nikki, he insisted that Pat not allow her to know where he lived. In spite of the warnings, Pat occasionally allowed Nikki to drop him off on Destrehan street, a few blocks away when he visited Vernon’s home. He would get out of the car and walk the rest of the way. Each time Nikki dropped Pat off, she attempted to ease behind him in hopes of determining the correct house that Vernon lived in.

The feds had already begun gathering the needed information to present to a grand jury in hopes of having an indictment filed against Vernon so that they could have arrested him.

Although they had obtained a substantial amount of pertinent details, they still lacked credible testimony and his place of residency. Nikki had notified the agents that she had learned of the general area that Vernon lived and they instructed her to assist them at locating the exact house. She knew that Vernon lived in a two-story house, but the tip proved useless because nearly sixty-five percent of the houses in the Woodmere subdivision were two-story homes. Nikki had driven directly in front of Vernon’s house a few times, but being that she didn’t see any of his cars parked out front, she was unable to pinpoint exactly which house he lived in. Vernon had recently added a cement slab on the side of his house. He used the slab as a second driveway and he parked all of his excess cars in the backyard behind the six foot high, wooden fence.

Nikki went out in search of Vernon’s cars on another occasion. She passed in front of the house just as he backed the Jaguar out of the garage and she was able to get a glimpse of the car. Had she passed in front of the house a few moments later, there was a good chance that he would have noticed the ragged Cadillac and given chase. Nikki immediately reported

Chp. 21 by Vernon McKay

her findings to the agents and they set up surveillance down the street from Vernon’s house.

The agents sat for hours at a time and they began to tail both he and his girl Jackie as they left the house. On one occasion Vernon thought he noticed a black, Chevrolet Monte Carlo tailing his car as he drove away from his home. In an effort to assure himself that the car was indeed tailing him, he began to take several detours as he traveled through out the the city. The agents took note of the extremes that Vernon had gone to and they concluded that it would have been difficult, if not impossible for them to tail him with out him noticing them. A short time later they were ordered not to tail him as frequent.

Neither Vernon nor Jackie were punctual at paying their monthly bills on time. This particular morning, Vernon decided that he’d break the pattern and pay the electricity bill on time. He drove to the Jefferson Parish Utility Company located on the Westbank Expressway to pay the bill. Jackie stayed behind, fed Lil Vernon and began to dress both herself and he. Jackie had planned on going to her girlfriend Arnette Hill’s home that morning. Vernon phoned home as soon as he paid the bill to see if Jackie and Lil Vernon were dressed and ready to go. The telephone rang several times before Jackie answered. “Yeah, this is me. What took you so long to answer?” Vernon said.

“Oh, I was downstairs in the garage-checking something out. I was just in there with the door open while I was playing with Lil Vernon and waiting for some clothes to dry, and I think I saw these same two or three cars passing in front of the house.”

“Are you sure, girl? ‘Cause you know how paranoid you are!”

“Yeah, I’m sure... now I know I’m sure! I’m still in here on the portable phone and one of them cars just passed again... it’s a green Grand Prix, a brown Cutlass, and a black Monte Carlo. All of the cars have tinted windows ... I can barely see through the windows ...but it looks like white men in all the cars!”

“You sure, girl? Look, I’m gonna stay on the phone, see if they pass again. Look, I want you to go to the end of the driveway, and if they pass again... If they pass, I want you to wave at them and let them know that you see them, alright?”

“Boy, I’m not going to wave at them people...” “Look, girl, just do it! They can’t do you nothing.” “Alright, Boy you crazy!”

Jackie waved at all three cars as they passed. The agents were startled because they knew that by Jackie waving at the cars she was aware of them constantly passing in front of the house. The agents radioed one another and they aborted their mission. Jackie stood at the curb side in front of the house an additional ten minutes and neither of the cars passed again. Vernon arrived home shortly afterwards and Jackie and Lil Vernon got into the car.

Jackie began to give an account of what she had seen as Vernon drove off. Vernon drove down Inwood street and around several nearby blocks to see if Jackie would have perhaps seen any of the vehicles that she claimed to have seen pass in front the house. Neither of the cars had been spotted and Vernon attributed Jackie’s account as mere paranoia.

The signs and symbols continued to appear, but Vernon was unable to detect any of them.

A large percentage of the inmates housed in the Orleans Parish Prisons fell victims of circumstances. Several of them had been incarcerated unjustly by means of ineffective assistance of counsel, or they had been denied due-process. As a result they had to remain in prison until the charges against them were dropped or until their sentences expired. The temperature inside of the Old Parish Prison had risen to the point that it felt like a furnace inside the entire building. Due to the heat, nearly all of the inmates were forced to remove their shirts, soak the shirts in cold water and wrap the wet shirts around their heads and torsos in an attempt to lower their body temperatures. The majority of the inmates had already passed the boiling point and they had slipped into an aggravated state of being. Some of them had grown tired of the judicial system, and others of the heat. Others had already made up their

Chp. 21 by Vernon McKay

minds that they were going to shank anyone that crossed their paths or violated them.

A heated dice game took place in the far left side corner of the tier. One of the inmates had already lost a considerable amount of money and he accused a fellow inmate of cheating and having marked dice. The inmate that was ahead in winnings decided to end the game because he was already far ahead and he felt that the other inmate had insulted his character by accusing him of cheating.

The inmate on the losing end became enraged and the two of them began to quarrel. “Nigga, you ain’t gettin’ nothing back ...! “ He said. The other inmate became offended and his peers began to instigate the situation. “If you don’t get your money from that Nigga, everybody’s gonna start carrying you bad, Bro!” One of them suggested.

The inmate on the winning end stepped off and nothing else was said.

The other inmates’ peers continued to pressure and persuade him into acting on the lost. He succumbed to the peer pressure and without notice, he approached the other inmate as the evening meal was being served. The winner of the dice game held a food tray in one hand and cup of bitter, red Kool-Aid in the other as he passed in front of the television that blared MTV’s video count down. The loser stepped towards him with a sharp, rusted shank as he cleared the exit door and began stabbing him repeatedly. The food tray suddenly fell to the floor. The victims blood also the color of the bitter Kool-aid began to ooze down his chest and back as he yelled, “Somebody, help me!” All of the inmates near the assault fled the area because they didn’t want to be questioned by the staff as to what had taken place.

The injured inmate continued to plead for help and the rest of the inmates gazed in the opposite direction. The injured inmate suddenly fell to one knee. Soon afterwards he went into what appeared to have been a seizure and he died at Vernon’s feet. Vernon had experienced yet another bad dream. He had been having similar dreams pertaining prison for the past two months. He quickly sat up in the bed. His heart pounded as he gasped for breath. Jackie was awakened by the commotion. “What’s wrong with you, boy?” she asked. Vernon related the dream to her in detail and she replied, “Boy, you better stop having them kind of dreams, before you go to jail and something like that happens for real!”

Vernon continued to be haunted by bad dreams and nightmares. It seemed like he had a bad dream every other night. On two consecutive occasions he dreamt that he had been shot in the head at close range. Both times the dreams appeared to have been so real that he hesitated before opening his eyes. He was afraid to know whether he was dead or alive. He knew that there had to have been some type of message in the dreams, but due to his lack of spiritual knowledge, he was unable to discern the dreams. He did however recall that his mother had given him a worn, leather-bound Bible shortly before he began to experience the dreams and he read that, in the last days, old men will have dreams and young men would have visions. Vernon thought the words to have been both too coincidental and too close for comfort.

Nearly two years had gone by since Debra Holland had given birth to Vernon’s daughter, Ashley. During that time Vernon continued to refuse to acknowledge that Debra had in fact gotten pregnant from him and he continued to deny that Ashley was his daughter. As a result Debra continued to harass him whenever she had seen him out in the public. Vernon and Debra crossed paths again one fateful night when he came out of seclusion and went to the Nexus night club. Vernon hadn’t gone to the club in a while because he learned that he was allegedly the person responsible for the residents in the neighborhood beginning a petition to have the club closed. The surrounding neighbors complained about the shootings in the area, the loud music and all of the trash that was left behind at the end of the night. Vernon and Debra managed to have a sensible conversation. They exchanged telephone numbers. Debra also gave Vernon the address to her mother’s home. Vernon promised he would have call the

Chp. 21 by Vernon McKay

following day and visit in the near future.

Vernon contacted Debra the following day. They talked on the telephone for a while and Debra put the phone to Ashley’s ear. Vernon began to call Debra and Ashley on a daily basis and they restored some of the lack of communication that they had experienced. Vernon soon gathered the courage to drive to Debra’s home located in New Orleans east. By doing so he was able to see Ashley for the first time in over a year. Although Bruno had notified Vernon more than once that he had seen Ashley and how much she resembled him, he was stunned to see it for himself. Vernon was overcome with guilt and he had to abruptly end the visit. He visited again the next day and the day after. In fact he began to visit Ashley on a daily basis. They formed a father-daughter relation and she began to call him, “Daddy.”

Vernon had a lot of catching up and amends to make to both Debra and Ashley. He realized that it was impossible to make up for lost time in a day so he began by taking Ashley to the Lake Forest mall and he bought her both gifts and necessities. Shortly after dropping Ashley off at home he received a call on his pager from Shelia Jetson as he turned onto Crowder Road. He talked to her and during the conversation she requested that he drive to her house located on Allen Street near Mirabeau street.

Vernon had recently grown tired of constantly having to hide his expensive , eye-catching cars and driving around the city in a hoopty. He had recently brought his Jaguar to Ron’s Auto Paint Shop in Carrolton, Louisiana and he changed the color of the car from red to black. He added sixteen inch, Momo Wheels and low profile, B.F. Goodrich tires. He also had the suspension lowered, which gave the car an even sleeker appeal.

Two unmarked N.O.P.D. units noticed the car as it turned onto Crowder Boulevard. It was unknown to the cops who drove the car, but because the car had fallen into the stereotypical profile of that of a drug dealer, the cops began to tail the Jaguar. The dark blue, Ford Mustang GT tailed the white Ford Tempo as it made a swift U-turn and they pursued the car.

The driver of the Ford Tempo radioed the license plate number to head quarters and the vehicle came back registered in Vernon’s name. Jackie had warned Vernon time and time again about having the Jaguar registered in his name, but he ignored her suggestion. After putting the Mercedes Benz in his sister, Valerie’s name and the Corvette in his friend, Fat Calvin’s name, he had run out of trustworthy people that he felt he could use to put additional vehicles in their names. Besides he became too complacent and he never bothered to have the title changed.

The cops’ adrenaline began to erupt like a volcano when they learned that the car was registered in Vernon’s name. One of them had made mention to the others that Vernon had already caused enough destruction in the city, and that it was far time for him to have been put to rest- murdered. One of the other cops was one of the corrupt ones who had been harassing Vernon for quite some time about shake-downs and kick backs.

Vernon continued to drive on Interstate 10 westbound. He took the Interstate 610 westbound exit and he exited a short distance later at Elysian Fields. He made a right turn onto Elysian Fields and he drove towards Gentilly Boulevard. As he crossed Old Gentilly he had a strange feeling that he was being tailed so instead of driving to Mirabeau street, he made a U-turn at Mandolin Street instead. As he drove back towards Old Gentilly, the driver of the Mustang made a swift, hard turn towards the Jaguar. It was unknown to Vernon that it was cops behind the wheel. In an attempt to avoid a collision Vernon was forced to turn the steering wheel hard and swiftly to the right. By doing so the Jaguar ran into a shallow ditch in front of an old graveyard site on Elysian Fields and the car came to a complete stop. The driver of the Tempo pulled the car directly behind the Jaguar.

Two cops rode in the Mustang and three in the Tempo. The cops bolted out of the cars, surrounded the Jaguar and took aim at the driver side of the car with their service revolvers.

Chp. 21 by Vernon McKay

Vernon sat motionless as he wondered what scenario he was about to encounter. The tint on the Jaguar windows was extremely dark and although the license plate came back registered in Vernon’s name, the cops were unable to see who was behind the steering wheel of the car, but that didn’t stop them from acting in an unprofessional, aggressive manner. “Get out of the mother fucking car!” one of them yelled.

“Okay. Okay, I’m coming!” Vernon responded as he unlatched the door and eased his left foot out of the car. He then slid his right leg out the car while assuring that his hands were high and visible. He stood to his feet and raised his hands in the air. The cops redirected their weapons and took aim at his head. “Wha, what’s going on?” Vernon stuttered as he slightly trembled.

“Well, well, well, if it ain’t Mr. McKay!” One of the cops said. “Vernon McKay, today is your lucky day! Today is the day your black ass is gonna die, boy! You’d better start thinking of any last minute request that you might have... better say your prayers!” he said.

“What you talking ‘bout, man...?,” Vernon inquired. “You’ll see! Then again, maybe you won’t.”

Two of the cops wrestled Vernon to the ground. One of them applied a pair of handcuffs to his skinny wrist. The driver of the Mustang began to strike Vernon in the head repeatedly with force. “What y’all doing, man? What the fuck...,” Vernon blurted. The cop continued to strike Vernon in the head blow after blow. It was only because Vernon had nearly gone into shock that he didn’t feel any of the remaining blows.

“Hurry up. Get him in the car!” Another cop ordered.

The driver of the Mustang had left the strobe light on atop the car as he exited it and because he had done so, several pedestrians and motorist took notice of Vernon being detained, but none of them dared to stop or to go close. At the time, the only prayer that Vernon knew was the “Now I lay me down to sleep...”, and the beginning of “Our Father who art in heaven...”. With limited prayer power or knowledge, he hoped and prayed that someone that he had known him would have passed and noticed that he was the person being detained. In the event the cops actually carried out their mission and murdered him, Vernon wanted someone to tell his mother the last time they had seen him alive. No one that he personally knew came to the rescue, but God summoned two angels in disguise to the scene.

A rookie, N.O.P.D. cop noticed the strobe light atop the mustang as he and his partner drove pass and became curious as to what was taking place. His partner took notice of the shiny Jaguar and they decided to pull to the side of the unmarked car. The cops at the scene noticed the squad car approaching and they soon realized that it would have been difficult for them to pull off with Vernon in the car, take him to an undisclosed location and kill him. The rookie cop and his partner got out of the squad car. They briefly examined the Jaguar and they walked towards the Mustang. “I recognize that man! That’s Vernon McKay, the highroller!” The rookie cop told his partner.

With those words said, the cops involved in the apprehension definitely realized that their chances of pulling off their plans had dwindled even more so. Had they actually killed or severely brutalized Vernon to the point that he had to go to a hospital, there was a great possibility that the rookie and his partner would have recalled last seeing Vernon detained on Elysian Fields and possibly testify against them. The rookie and his partner left the scene approximately ten minutes after arriving. The other cops concluded that since they couldn’t kill Vernon they’d brutalize him instead. They escorted him to the side of the Jaguar. Two of the cops commenced administering a memorable ass-whipping on him. Beating him with the butts of their weapons until he laid face down in the grass. The others ram shacked his car and used a pocket knife to cut through and rip the leather seats head rest and door panels before driving off.

Chp. 21 by Vernon McKay

Vernon managed to stumble to his feet and staggered towards his car. A crowd of on-lookers stood nearby. They had witnessed the entire assault upon him but when asked, neither of them offered to assist Vernon at submitting a police brutality report. Vernon mumbled another quick prayer. He spoke direct and he thanked God once again for sparing his life.

He drove off and while driving many thoughts came to mind. “Man, is all of this trouble and shit that I’ve been going through since I started selling drugs really worth it? I have a nice, big house, but I have to keep it a secret because niggas trying to kill me! I have expensive cars, but I can’t drive them on the streets without getting pulled over by the cops or niggas shootin’ at me! I used to have fake body guards when I first started selling drugs, but now I damn near need security every where I go... especially with all of the enemies that I made in this business. My damn nerves are so bad I got to take Xanax pills to calm down... I go to church with a gun and I’m sleeping with a loaded gun under my mattress ...and I got bars on my windows and doors...”

Nearly all of the material things that Vernon once longed for and coveted all proved to have been vanity. At that moment he began to realize that the so-called rewards and fruit of his labor weren’t worth the assassination attempts, harassment and lack of peace of mind. He actually regretted becoming a drug kingpin and selling his first kilogram of cocaine. He realized that perhaps it might have taken much longer, but he could have continued selling small packages of cocaine while making some of the same purchases as a big-time drug dealer. He concluded that he and drug users were virtually one in the same. The users had acquired an addiction to the drugs and had Vernon unknowingly had acquired an addiction to making and having money. Lela had suggested on several occasions that he stop selling drugs. She insisted that he had a beautiful, creative mind and that he should direct his thoughts towards something legal. Something positive. As much as Vernon attempted to consider and take heed to Lela’s words, he found himself bound and it seemed impossible for him to break free.

Vernon also felt troubled when young, black males approached him and assumed that selling drugs was as easy a task that he made it appear to have been. He was frequently asked, “say, Bro, When you gon’ let me work for you, so that I can buy me a car like yours?” The same people were unaware of the long, troublesome journey that Vernon had gone through in order to get to the top. They had no idea that no one gave him anything. He had to work hard for everything. No one gave him a drug-selling manual or drug blue print book. He started out at the bottom of the ladder and that he had to work his way up to the top. He taught himself everything that he knew about drugs. It was also unknown to them that Vernon constantly got harassed and threatened by the cops, that he was shot at on a regular basis...

They only wanted what they thought they had seen. The wealth, women and material possessions. They also didn’t know that by becoming a drug kingpin, it was virtually impossible for Vernon to determine who his true, genuine friends were from those who flocked around him because of what he had or because of what they thought he could or would do for them.

1988 definitely had been a troubled year for Vernon. A version of Murphy’s Law, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong,” was definitely what he had experienced during that year.

He was anxious and hoped for better times. The X-mas season had arrived and he decided to put all of the negative things that had occurred in the previous eleven plus months behind him. He showered his kids with tons of toys from Toys R Us. Several of the battery operated toys that were much too advanced for kids their ages. He bought a large pine tree that had to be delivered to the house by truck. He decorated every inch of the tree with lights and ornaments. He also decorated the interior and exterior of his home with lights. A twelve-foot by six-foot Santa Claus stood on his front lawn. Vernon’s home suddenly become the neighborhood X-mas attraction.

Chp. 21 by Vernon McKay

Vernon managed to put together a last minute New Years Eve party. He invited some of his crew, and Jackie invited a handful of her friends. He bought a ton of food, drinks and fireworks for the occasion. He and Jackie prepared the food selections and sorted the snacks.

He lit the outdoor, gas-operated heater and the entire gathering reflected back on the previous year. They ate, drank and partied until 11:40 P.M. Vernon. Then the crew members and a few of the kids who lived on Inwood Drive lined the sidewalks and streets with the fireworks.

The rest of the party had already drank enough alcohol to either sustain or become oblivious to the prolonged outdoor temperature. They challenged Jack Frost and joined in. Vernon began the official count down at approximately 11:59. “Y’all ready, right ? Let’s get ready to fire it up, y’all!,” he said, as they scrambled in the direction of the fireworks. “Okay, here we go! Get the lighters ready!” He began to count aloud as some of the others echoed, “Ten, nine, eight... three, two, one-Happy New Year, everybody!”

The fireworks began to ignite in a brilliant display. Several of the neighbors had gone outside to capture the display. The sky soon became illuminated and the neighbors began to applaud. The roaring noise that the fireworks produced had frightened Lil Vernon and he burst into tears. Jackie hugged him and lifted him to his feet and walked towards Vernon. She kissed him on the lips and said, “Happy New Years, baby!”

LIt

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