The Do's & Don'ts of Divorce During The Holidays

The Do's & Don'ts of Divorce During The Holiday Season

Don't allow the divorce to ruin your holiday

spirit - So the lights are not as bright and the holiday songs are a bit more annoying than normal, but that does not mean that holiday spirit as you know it is over. The fact is that while this year may be tough, the next year will be easier. The best present you can give to yourself when going through a divorce (besides maybe an extra Santa gift for yourself) is allowing yourself to know you will survive this.

Don't take this opportunity to discover

religion - So, you are Jewish and never celebrated Christmas in your life, until you met your spouse. However, unless you are going to get a tree and replicate the holiday the way that the Children have experienced it during the marriage, you should give the day to the spouse who will really celebrate it.

Don't let the sentimentality of the holiday

season weaken your positions - If you are going to regret them -- It is the season of giving -- just be sure not to give away everything you hold near and dear. You have been working so hard all year to reach a settlement and there are certain positions you have maintained and are very important to you.

Don't become Super Santa because of Guilt

This is the first Christmas without your children, so you decided to celebrate the week before. Because you feel so terrible about the impending divorce, you buy out the toy store. You do not need to buy your children's affections - they love you regardless if you get them a hoverboard or a skateboard.

Don't make your Children feel badly that you

are alone during the holidays - Putting on a strong front and letting your children know that it is OK for them to enjoy the holidays with the other parent is an important (albeit maybe painful) message to get across to them. It will also make it much easier when it your holiday time with the Children next year.

Do make all efforts to be on the "nice" list

The holidays are an emotional time for many people and even more so when those people are going through a divorce. It is very tempting (sometimes more than the holiday chocolates) to want to be vindictive and do things to annoy your soon-to-be ex or ex during the holiday season. My advice is to resist.

Do make sure that your holiday parenting

access schedule is clear: If an agreement has not been officially prepared yet and arrangements are made more loosely over email, it is easy for misunderstandings to happen. In the same vein, also be sure to make sure that everyone is clear on how the children's days off from school during this period are being covered.

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Do stay off social media - Drinking at holiday parties and champagne on NYE and slow times at work are all the ingredients for people spending more time on social media. Be careful -- do not take this opportunity to bash your soon-to-be ex on facebook or twitter. Stick to posting cute pictures of your kids or your dog in Santa hats.

Do take the slow time at work to do your

Divorce Homework - Take this time to gather your documents and do your budget. Help your attorney help you so that when everyone returns for vacation, you will be ready and prepared to move forward with your case. Do let the New Year start new - If you are holding on to the fight over the last cushion on the couch - let it go. While this may seem contradictory to the Don't above, the key is to figure out what really matters and what does not. Let your case end and let 2021 be a year of new beginnings. Jacqueline Newman ( https://www. nycdivorcelawyer.com ), is the managing partner at the matrimonial law firm Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein LLP in Manhattan. Jacqueline's practice consists of litigation, collaborative law and mediation. She specializes in complex high net worth matrimonial cases and also in negotiating prenuptial agreements. The author of The New Rules of Divorce, Newman has appeared as an expert commentator on various television and radio shows and has been quoted as an expert in numerous publications, including Fox's Business, NBC News, ABC News, CBS News, The New York Times, Woman's Day, Glamour, the New York Post, Reuters.com, Crain's New York Business, U.S. News and World Report, Business Insider, Time.com, USA Today, Yahoo Parenting, Woman's Day, CNBC. com and The Huffington Post. THE NEW RULES OF DIVORCE: 12 Secrets to Protecting Your Wealth, Health, and Happiness -https://www.amazon. com/New-Rules-Divorce-Protecting-Happiness/ dp/1982127937/ Don'ts

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