3
Food for your Soul, Strategies for your Business
rd.
Edition October 2013
Finding Work That Satisfies Your Heart’s Desire
Compassion: The Strength of the
Feminine
Businesswoman How to Live From Your
Instead of Your Comfort Zone
Feminine Soul of the Month:
Shawne Duperon from
Project: Forgive
In this Issue 8 What Does Living from the Heart Mean to You? 10 How To Live From Your Heart, Not Your Comfort Zone Jessica Patterson
13 Work That Satisfies Our Hearts’ Desire Robin Crawford
17 Head Vs. Heart Stephanie Ownes
Feminine Soul of the Month: Shawne Duperon
p . 29
21 Can You Let Go of Needing to Know? A Journey To Your Heart Francesca Cassini
24 Poetry to Inspire Jean Kay
25 Compassion: The Strength of the Feminine Businesswoman Vanessa Halloum
4 Letter from the Editor 6 Meet the Team 2
29 Feminine Soul of the Month Interview with Shawne Duperon
October 2013
Work That Satisfies Our Heart’s Desires
p . 13
34 For True Success You Must Choose to Listen to Your Heart Lisa Manyon
55 Breaking Down The Walls Dianna Bowes
58 How to Throw a LastMinute Halloween Party on the Cheap! Sharon McRill
62 What’s happening on the Feminine Sould Radio Show
38 Why Every Conflict Can Be Resolved Pragito Dove
43 When You Are In the Dark Gratitude & Beauty will Bring You Light! Celia Ward-Wallace
Connect with us:
47 Happy For Very Good Reasons Bettina Gordon
52 Let’s Celebrate Men For What They Do Well And Not Try To Be Them Katie Day
Subscribe to the Magazine
3
Letter from the Editor Feminine Soul magazine. Jessica Patterson starts things off on page 10 by teaching us how to live from your heart, as opposed to your comfort zone. Robin Crawford shows us how to find work that satisfies our heart’s desire on page 13. Francesca Cassini will help us to let go of the need to know and takes us alloum
H Vanessa
The Journey Begins…
on a journey to our heart. This is just a bit of the incredible wisdom we have for you this month.
It’s just incredible how your life changes when
So sit back, pour yourself a cup of tea and
you begin to live from your heart, as opposed
enjoy the October issue of the Feminine Soul
to your doubts and your fears. You suddenly
Magazine! Make sure you let us know how
stop struggling in your life and everything
you enjoy the articles on our facebook page
seems to fall into place. You begin to find
(www.facebook.com/femininesoul) or tweet
more joy in everything that you do. But how
with us by using the #FeminineSoul. We may
do you actually do it? How do you let go of
even feature your comments on our next
your fears and begin to live from that deeper
issue!
place? With Love & Gratitude, This is exactly what you’ll learn to do better this month – provided you take the advice of our experts on this month’s issue of the 4
Vanessa
www.vanessahalloum.com
October 2013
Meet the team Vanessa Halloum is the founder of the Feminine Soul Magazine, Radio Show and Academy for conscious women entrepreneurs, messengers and thought leaders. She helps mission-driven entrepreneurs clarify their messaging and their branding so that they can position themselves powerfully to potential clients. Learn more at www.vanessahalloum.com
E d it o r- in
- c h ie f
Nina S. Pakdi is a successful blogger and writer who’s on a mission to inspire women to run heart-centered businesses through love and passion. She helps family oriented-women create a work-life balance so that they can feel a deep sense of fulfillment. For informational articles and lifestyle inspiration visit her website at www.ninaspakdi.com
D ir e c t o r t n e t n o C
Ligia Morales is a passionate Graphic Designer. She got her college degree at USAC in Guatemala and started working as a designer at different ad agencies, where she was able to really define her style. She currently works as a freelancer. She enjoys advertising and editorial design and is always looking for new and exciting projects. You can contact her at ligia.morales7@gmail.com
s ig n e r e D ic h p Gra
Want to join the Feminine Soul Leadership Team? Please send an email to info@femininesoul.com 6
October 2013
Reach Serve Prosper
teleseminar a FREE virtual training for coaches, authors, healers and conscious entrepreneurs who want to transform lives with their products and services Are you ready to Reach a bigger audience, SERVE more people and build a Prosperous conscious business?
To register for this FREE training just go to www.ReachServeProsper.com
What Does
Living From the Heart Mean To You
Jessica Patterson Being true to the stirrings of my soul and acting on those whenever possible.
Francesca Cassini It means letting the genie out of the bottle!
Lisa Manyon
Living from the heart means coming from a place of true service always and honoring what feeds my soul while helping others do the same.
Pragito Dove Meeting
life’s
situations
with
open-
heartedness, non-judgment, and compassion for myself and others.
8
October 2013
Sharon McRill Living from the heart means doing your best in everything you do and living every day to its fullest.
Dianna Bowes It means being authentic, listening to the signals I get from my heart and soul.
Heather Paris Living from my heart means always considering the bigger picture, not just my needs, but the needs of everyone.
Stephanie Owens Being on purpose .
Tina Dietz Sharing my passion for creating our lives by design rather than default makes my heart sing!
Edel O’Mahony To live from the heart is to surrender to the force that is called ‘love’.
9
How to Live From Your Heart Not Your
Comfort Zone by Jessica Patterson
I
f you know deep in your heart that you’re
know that you should be doing. It might
living in your Comfort Zone then today I
be speaking to large or small audiences. It
have a serious question for you: What is
might be finally getting that business card
the scariest thing you need to do in your
made and attending your first networking
business or personal life to take it to the
meeting to introduce yourself to the world
next level of joy and success? I am willing
and step into your new business venture.
to bet that on a deep level you know the answer to this question. You know it in
Perhaps it’s giving yourself permission to
your gut. Let’s give this thing a short name
charge your worth and raise your rates. It
we can remember, like NBS (NEXT BRAVE
might be contacting a joint venture partner
STEP).
who can share her database and create joint workshops with you. It might be finally hiring a business coach or mentor who can guide you to that next level of success. It could also be something personal in your life that is causing your business growth to stagnate. Sometimes it’s time to let go of relationships such as people who bring you down instead of lift you up. Or it could be that your NBS is to get enrolled into a
10
Your NBS is the thing you’ve been putting
health program so that you can bring more
off, the thing that you’re afraid to do but
vitality and energy to your business. October 2013
Whatever your NBS is, write it down today
next level when your walls are up and your
into your calendar. I want you to schedule
doors are closed.
this Next Brave Step no matter what it is. This will get you out of your Comfort Zone, which is stagnant energy, and into the energy of abundance and therefore truly living from your heart and soul. When you step into that NBS you are calling forth that which you want to experience in your business and in your life. You will be calling in the new clients, the new business, the lifestyle and saying “I’m here, I’m ready.” You can’t attract this
Your Heart-Centered Action Step: Write down your NBS onto your calendar RIGHT NOW and schedule this. No excuses! And remember that NBS stands for NEXT BRAVE STEP, but it can also stand for No BS! Just do it right now! And be sure to share your NBS on the Feminine Soul Facebook Page. Let this community support you!
11
Jessica
Patterson,
the
Coach, she combines her practical business
coaching and training company, The Soulful
& marketing wisdom with personal coaching
Solopreneur, Jessica is on a mission to
skills to help her clients achieve rapid money
save soul-inspired business women from
breakthroughs so they can Be on Purpose,
the Solopreneur Traps of being stressed
Leverage their Talents and Make more
out, financially strapped, time-starved and
Money!
spiritually drained.
in her Money Breakthrough Course or her
Founder
of
As a 15-year work at home mom,
franchise owner and Money Breakthrough
You can learn more about participating
Private Mentoring Program by visiting . www.complimentarysessionwithjessica.com
Want to read the Magazine on your ipad or in print? Click here! or go to http://bit.ly/FSinPrint 12
October 2013
Work That
Satisfies
Our Hearts’ Desires by Robin Crawford
M
y favorite superhero has always
he was and what he came here to do. Can
been Superman.
you relate? I sure can!
Like many, I
believe the recurrence of this 80 year old fictional character’s story speaks volumes
It was only after moving through a series
to how much it reminds us of our own
of painful and revealing circumstances
push-pull path to self-discovery – figuring
in his life that he could no longer deny
out where we came from, who we are and
who he was, nor could he deny his super
most importantly, what we came here to
powers and what he came here to do - his
do.
contribution to the world. He experienced real freedom, meaning and satisfaction
Just as Clark Kent grappled to fully embrace
only after fully embracing his super powers
his Superman identity, I believe we go
(all of them) and following his heart’s
through a similar metamorphosis in our
desire.
search for meaning and fulfillment, which seems to play out big time in our work lives. He experienced enormous pressure and was constantly pushed from the outside – social, cultural, political and economic forces - to hide who he really was, while at the same time feeling a relentless pull from the inside - the biological, psychological and spiritual forces – to fully embrace who
13
This slows our forward momentum by making each step in life that much heavier. As a result, we find ourselves churning in mediocrity, drifting in “good enough,” dreading
Monday
mornings
and/or
desperately longing for Friday afternoons.
Like Clark, many of us have hushed the heart’s callings and some still do. You know, those gentle nudges or faint (because we’ve ignored them for so long) heart whispers that call from within and make themselves known through our thoughts, feelings and
14
emotions. Perhaps we’re listening to the
For many of us it is only later in life,
well-meaning suggestions from folks who
perhaps mid career, after dragging through
love us. Or, perhaps we’re caught up in
this sludge of others’ expectations that
what we are “supposed” to be doing when
we realize that true freedom is nestled in
we look around at the larger, dominant
living from our heart space. It is only after
work culture or compare our work lives to
we go inside, take the time necessary to
those of our friends and colleagues. For
do the introspective work, uncover those
whatever reason (and there are many),
callings from the heart, and respond to
we continually ignore that internal pull
them rather than repress them that we
and turn a deaf ear to our heart’s desire.
experience real joy in our work lives. October 2013
Superman’s story is fiction, but the rich lessons weaved throughout are not! We experience push/pull periods, too, as we navigate life’s journey. Whether it is paid activity working within someone else’s employment structure, paid activity that we’ve structured as a business owner, or unpaid activity as a volunteer or some other work structure, the structure does not matter. Here’s the call to action: surrender to those gentle nudges and heart whispers, go inside, listen and identify the work that you were put here to do - those things that you just cannot NOT do. In other words,
fully embrace YOUR super powers and engage in work that satisfies YOUR heart’s desire!
Robin Crawford addresses the gaps in our typical approach to entering the world of work and helps people be intentional in their work lives. She’s spent more than two decades observing work life structures in a variety of settings around the globe in over 50 job titles across profit and nonprofit sectors. She’s conducted extensive research, career advised hundreds of students of all ages, and completed hundreds of interviews on the topic of work life satisfaction and job structure. She has degrees in sociology; is a certified life coach; and holds certifications and licenses in spiritual and human development. www.designyourbestworklife.com
15
Heart Vs.
Head
by Stephanie Owens
B
e I’vealways relied on my brain to serve
others. Feelings just were not part of my
me well. I was blessed with a quick
natural style.
mind, sharp memory and parents who encouraged me to use both. Because my
This skill set spilled over to non-academic
mom taught me to read by the time I was 4,
pursuits as well. Without trying, I found
I arrived at Kindergarten with abilities that
myself arriving at logical, clear cut
impressed my teachers and classmates.
solutions to obstacles that stumped both
This set the stage for a reputation and
peers and adults in my life.
identity as bright and highly capable.
relationship challenges, ethical quandaries
Whether
or logistical dilemmas, I found that When a situation occurs, I find myself
whatever seemed to cloud other people’s
experiencing a thought first. I can actually
ability to see the obvious answer wasn’t
feel the energy in my head. Maybe an
part of my experience. Regardless of the
emotion will eventually show up, but
pain and swirl of feelings a person was in, I
chances are it won’t. (For you Myers Briggs
didn’t find myself pulled into their drama.
fans, yes I’m a “T” (Thinker vs. Feeler).) In
Instead, the more chaos around me the
fact I’d come to see emotions as messy
more calm and clear I became. It was
distractions. This is not to say that I’m
effortless to listen without judgment, ask
devoid of feelings or wish them away in
questions that cleared the fog and arrive
17
at innovative ideas and solutions creating
the heart courtesy of Teddy the Wonder
new possibilities for myself and others.
Horse. A fellow coach, friend and colleague, Jennifer Malocha of WuHoo Fitness & Coaching,
(www.WuHooFitness.com)
opened my eyes and my heart with her unconventional coaching partner – Teddy the Wonder Horse. Yes…an actual horse. Jennifer invited me to experience the unique transformation her clients I state this very matter of factly, without
experience when coaching with her.
I
judgment or boasting. Honestly I don’t
had the opportunity to be in the center
consider it something I can brag about
of Teddy’s training ring with Teddy while
because I don’t take credit for the clarity
Jennifer asked me questions.
I possess. Clarity is merely a gift I was born with, so I strive to honor it and use
During some preliminary information
it responsibly. People often express relief
gathering, Teddy sauntered slowly around
and gratitude for the clarity they achieved
the ring, sometime around the edge;
after brainstorming or coaching together.
other times standing face to face with
It’s been my pleasure and privilege to
me. Jennifer adeptly began to explore
share the abundance of clarity given to me
my comfort level with taking in the world
to allows another fellow traveler to find
with something other than my head. I
their way along the journey with greater
scowled with puzzled disbelief at her
ease and grace.
question.
Not using my head seemed
like a completely senseless and counter
18
Clarity and intellect have been pillars of
intuitive notion. “Why would I do that?
my identity, success, strength and ability
What’s the advantage?”
to serve others all my life. So imagine my
Knowing the tried and true track record
surprise when I discovered the power of
intellect and clarity earned by being able
I responded.
October 2013
to provide people powerful solutions and
one attractive; one repelling.
peace, I couldn’t imagine why I would discard the benefit of having these tools at
The mindset shift I experienced in the ring,
my disposal.
opened my mind to new ideas. Could the same energy that attracted or repelled Teddy impact people? My inquisitive mind craved an answer. I began consciously connecting to my heart while interacting with people. The impact was undeniable!
By operating
from the heart and inspiration, I’ve been startled by the eloquence or divine timing of the words that emerged. While people Then Jennifer asked a very profound
still expressed tremendous gratitude for
question, “How much more powerful
the discoveries and clarity they found
could your impact be if you connected to
during our conversations, many marveled
all your hardware?” Logic dictated that
that the message was exactly what they
I at least consider this, so when Jennifer
needed to hear. Again, I don’t take credit
encouraged me to allow my energy to flow,
for this. It’s more that the message was
connecting my mind to my body and heart,
coming through me, but is not my creation.
I did.
Immediately Teddy returned from
The result has been not only tremendous
the edge of the ring to stand eye to eye
transformation for me, my clients, family
with me. As Jennifer continued to ask me
and friends, but also a deeper level of
questions, any time my energy jumped up
connection, excitement and enthusiasm.
into my head Teddy walked away. When I connected head and heart, he would come
Edward Lytton’s wise words echo what
back over. Knowing how attune animals,
Teddy’s known all along: “A good heart is
especially horses, are to energy, it was
better than all the heads in the world.”
clear there’s a very different vibe at play –
19
20
Stephanie Owens is fiercely committed
people how to achieve not only success but
to guiding self-employed Superwomen with
deep personal satisfaction.
the support and tools they need to achieve
their ridiculously high expectations without
Procrastination Cure 30 Day Challenge and
working so hard.
author of a book entitled No Is The New YES!:
How to Say No, Set Better Boundaries and
A small business owner for over a
Stephanie is the creator of The
decade, Stephanie blends her experience
Reclaim Your Joy.
in the business world with a Masters in
Counseling. Whether coaching privately with
with her incredible husband and their two
clients or speaking to audiences, Stephanie
amazing teenagers near Seattle, WA
provides purpose-driven, high-performance
http://www.pleaseaholics.com
Stephanie lives a peaceful, happy life
October 2013
Can You Let
Go of Needing to Know? A Jorney To Your Heart by Francesca Cassini
T
hey say the journey from the head to
is how we navigate life. So almost every
the heart is the longest journey we can
moment, my head asks how? how? how?
take, but how many of us have been taught
And when I don’t know, I struggle. Using
how important the heart is? I certainly
‘I don’t know’ as an answer to almost
wasn’t. It was the ability to think my way
anything seems to be an admission of
through life that was the priority.
failure.
But living in our heart isn’t about knowing. It’s a challenge to untangle from what my
It’s certainly not about knowing how,
head thinks it knows. After all, it’s learned
where, who and when. The heart only
well. It’s absorbed amazing amounts of
cares about love – what we love to express.
information – so-called facts from school,
Our heart knows what it loves. It came
assumptions from family and friends, and
here to express this love whether through
filed away experiences. Knowing stuff
painting, music, cooking, raising children,
21
IT, writing, acting, communication or innovation. I’ve lived nomadically this year.
People ask me many “why,” “where,” and “how” questions.
I thought I knew in the beginning but I
The donkey we thought was lucky, then
was wrong. Frequently, I think I know
unlucky, is lucky after all! All our sons have
the reason or meaning of something but
gone war and we may never see them
discover I was misguided. There is always a
again, but your son will stay at home.’ The
far deeper truth.
farmer responds, ‘Maybe. Maybe not. It’s still too early to tell.’
I heard a great story the other day. A farmer finds a stray donkey. He puts it
What if you let go of some of your need to
to work, knowing the owner may come
know and instead acted in accord with your
to find it. After a few weeks no one has
deepest wishes? I don’t mean going after
claimed it. The villagers say. ‘What a stroke
the short term gain, but asking yourself
of luck! You find a stray donkey and it does
deeply ‘what would you love?’ When you
all this work for you!’ The farmer responds
have an answer, and don’t know ‘how’
‘Maybe, maybe not. It’s too early to tell.’ A
to make it happen, simply lock in to the
month later the donkey kicks the farmers
emotion of the end result you’re imagining
son so badly his leg is broken and he can’t
and allow the whispers of your intuition
walk or work. The villagers say, ‘How terrible! The donkey we thought was lucky has now brought bad luck.’ The farmer responds, ‘Maybe, maybe not. It’s too early to tell.’ A few weeks later, the army comes to take the young men to war. The farmers son, still badly hurt, is left behind. The villagers say, ‘What a stroke of luck!
22
October 2013
to inform you what step to take next. If
unknown. We think if we don’t know, our
something happens and you think you’ve
actions will be random; but our intuition,
taken a wrong turn – maybe, maybe not
hidden beneath the surface always knows.
– it is too early to tell! When you ‘make’
When we are compelled to act from the
things happen you’re working on recycled
innocent space of the unknown we will
ideas, but when you create something,
inevitably head in the direction of our
you’re fashioning it uniquely out of the
heart, whatever it may look like externally.
Francesca Cassini, wanted to be a Princess
For thirty years she’s explored spirituality
who could fly, experience other realms, talk
and personal growth. Mastering ‘intuition
with Nature. Brought up with mainstream
on demand’ to develop her ‘natural success’,
parents meant she also tried to conform. As
she’s taken transformational steps. Presently
a ‘grown up’ she founded an employment
living nomadically she is an intuitive mentor
agency, a magazine and been a founder
to those going through major change. Her
member of a network dedicated to conscious
experience will result in an inspirational
living.
documentary. Follow her at www.facebook.com/WakingYourLionheart
23
Power of Love Always come from a place of love in all you think, say and do. It’s a very powerful way to live and will bring out the best in you. Look for good in all situations especially those with negative impact. You can’t change actions of others but you can change how you react. To love without conditions, although not liking what you see, takes practise, but it’s worth it, helping you live stress and worry free.
Jean Kay is a prolific poet who has written a poem every morning for over fifteen years. Her book Morning Light, a collection of inspirational poems for use in daily life, is available on Amazon.
Jean is a regular contributor
to newsletters and is published in
If your ego says someone has hurt you, override it and let it go. Stay calm, cool and collected. Learn from it, that’s how you grow. It only takes a second for a thought to go from analytical brain to your heart. Applying inherent Love to everything is a very good way to start. Doing small acts of kindness without reward or recognition make you feel good about yourself, that is love without condition. 24
several anthologies. She also creates commissioned poems for birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, memorials, etc.
Jean is a professional member
of the Canadian Authors Association – Vancouver Branch, and holds active memberships in The Ontario Poetry Society and World Poetry Association. Connect with Jean at http://www.poetrytoinspire.com
October 2013
Compassion:
T he Str e n gth Of T h e F e minine B u s i n e s s w o ma n by Vanessa Halloum
T
oday, we see it far too often: women
we not need to take on masculinity in
who are involved in business leave
order to be professionally successful, but
their femininity behind to operate from
our femininity also offers us unique gifts
their masculine energy and instead of
that we can leverage in business, gifts that
simply leveraging their masculinity while at
masculinity wouldn’t give us.
work, they end up living in their masculine energy throughout the entirety of their days. It’s no secret that today’s Western society rewards masculinity while ignores, if not shuns, femininity. This makes careerminded women feel like they have no choice but to shed their femininity and step into a masculine form of energy if they
What I want women to know is that
want to be successful businesswomen.
someone who’s feminine can be just as successful in business as someone who’s
I’m
passionate
centered
female
about
helping
entrepreneurs
soul-
masculine. Both have equal success
run
potential but just in different and unique
successful businesses without stepping
beautiful ways.
away from their femininity. Not only do 25
On Facebook business pages, for example, updates about the business and its products will often be posted along with quotes and One of the qualities that feminine women bring into their businesses is compassion. Although
masculine
men
and
their
businesses can be compassionate as well, compassion comes naturally to people who are in their feminine energy. The feminine woman’s compassionate quality allows her to manage and build up her business from a heart-centered place. Her nurturing personality means that she really cares about her customers and her customer service is truly concerned and present. This quality also helps her to build a great community around her brand. Old methods of marketing no longer have the effect that they once did. Today, it’s very effective to market your brand or business on social networks – and it’s also usually free! Marketing through social networks is often based around building a sense of community around your product. 26
photos that can be commented on, “liked,” and shared. The compassion and desire for community and collaboration that are signature feminine energy traits gives marketing on Facebook great potential for the feminine woman. When customers visit your company’s Facebook page, they want to see the human side through the posts, photos, and quotes, not having every post be a hard-sell. A company’s Twitter page is oftentimes comprised of more than just advertising and sales-pitches (which might be seen as spam). It’s often comprised of small tips and tricks related to applying what the business offers you as a customer, along with peeks into the personal day-today lives of the company. This is another example of how online marketing through social media can oftentimes better thrive under the wing of a feminine woman who knows how to let customers get a peek October 2013
into the love, the joy, and the day-to-day
woman with professional aspirations can
of the brand.
be just as successful, if not more successful, than a masculine man. Feminine energy
There’s no need to move out of your
gives the feminine woman unique tools
feminine energy and into masculine energy
and advantages in creating a business that’s
for the sake of professional success. A
authentic, heart-centered, and successful.
Vanessa Halloum is is the author of the
entrepreneurs who have a mission and who
multi-award winning book “The 5 Feminine
find themselves challenged in getting their
Power Virtues” and the founder of the
message out into to the world because they
Feminine Soul Academy for Conscious
don’t know how to position themselves or
Entrepreneurs, Messenger and Thought
get in front of the right people. She helps
Leaders. She’s also the host of the Featured
them create a platform so they can reach
BlogTalkRadio show Feminine Soul, with
more people with their message; make the
more than 500,000 global listeners.
money they need so that they can have the
impact they want to have.
Vanessa
works
with
spiritual
www.vanessahalloum.com
27
Feminine Soul of the Month:
Shawne Duperon
Meet Shawne Duperon
Six-time EMMY® Award winning Media Coach Shawne Duperon (dew-PEAR-un, rhymes with Sharon) has been in the TV business for nearly 20 years. She has taught thousands how to communicate as leaders while networking and marketing in social and traditional media. Shawne works with corporations, entrepreneurs, universities and government agencies across the globe. She’s collaborated with many best-selling authors, has replaced Bill Ford of Ford Motor Company when she spoke at the Department of Defense and even lectures on cruise ships. She has interviewed many recent US presidents and has filmed hundreds of celebrities including Morgan Freeman, Bill Cosby, Yo Yo Ma, Senator John McCain and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. You’ve watched her on national
networks such as CNN, CBS’ “The Early Show” and have seen her featured in “Inc. Magazine,” “USA Today,” “The Washington Post” and “The Chicago Tribune” to name a few. One of her personal passions is the work she does with multicultural groups to help delete media stereotypes through communication leadership. She spearheaded the movement on global forgiveness called Project: Forgive, a little five-minute video that went viral without YouTube! Shawne is currently a PhD candidate, creating leading-edge research on the relationship between mass media and gossip (yes, gossip!). http://shawnetv.com/ http://projetforgive.com
Why did you start your business?
I
came to a point where I felt I had learned
next level, whatever that meant. I was just
all that I wanted to know about TV news.
finishing prep for “y2K” in December 1999
It was simply time to move on. To take my
and thought this was the perfect time to
production skills and speaking skills to the
open new doors into the new millennium.
How do you define success? Peace. On my wall is Peace=Success. It’s
and when I’m in the mindset of achieving
funny, I’ve achieved so many “accolades”
more, I miss the beauty of right now. Don’t 29
get me wrong, I still have exquisite goals
As I stretch and grow, I’m getting really
like finishing my PhD and competing for an
comfortable with being uncomfortable,
Oscar for documentaries, and it doesn’t run
reaching for an Oscar nomination, for
me. At the age of 50, I have the emotional
instance. If my film isn’t nominated, it’s
maturity to not get it all done, to have fun
not that deep. Now that feels really, really
WHILE I’m doing it and to play in the space
good.
of peace. Mistakes are no longer fatal.
What are your best tips for a successful life and business? Surround
yourself
with
amazing,
collaborative, loving people. Period. Hang out with people you want to BECOME. It really is true, birds of a feather flock together.
How do you keep your sanity while running a successful business? How do you create life/work balance? Honestly? It’s hard. I am quite driven and
working at certain times because I could
say yes to too many things. So I put coaches
work 24/7. I really love what I do and most
into place. I have a money coach and an
times it doesn’t feel like work. I must admit
intimacy coach. While I’m doing great
though, I’m finishing my PhD in the midst
things in the world (like those reading this
of thriving businesses and The Project
article), sometimes I get “busy” to avoid
Forgive Foundation, and sometimes the
being really close and intimate with my
research feels like a LOT of work. How
closest and dearest ones, like my husband.
could it not? ha.
We plan regular dates, I stop and start 30
October 2013
Do you have a daily ritual that you can share with us? What do you do on a daily basis that helps you nurture yourself and/or build your business? I listen to the Esther Hicks/Abraham meditation. She/They are my absolute fave way to get in touch and get grounded. I also love to do what Sonia Choquette teaches…the breath of life. It’s dancing to a song with spiritual movement that has me get in touch with the divine. You can find it on YouTube. She’s great.
How do you stay inspired and motivated in life and business? The more internal work I do...(such as
not saying I’m “careful” with words, rather
forgiveness!), the lighter I get and staying
I’m conscious of my words and say what I
motivated is simply a way of being rather
feel needs to be said. And? I don’t coach
than something to get to. I grieve my
without permission. Sometimes we get
losses, so I don’t have to suffer. I express
in a place where we see things and start
myself…whatever that may be: anger, joy,
trying to “fix” someone. That’s a trap.
appreciation, gratitude. People always
There’s nothing to fix. I have wisdom, and
say to me, ‘Shawne, you’re so happy!”
have enough wisdom to let others be their
and I say, I am so happy because when I
glorious beautiful selves without having
feel angry I share it appropriately. It takes
to coach, and only when asked or with
spiritual maturity to be expressed and
permission. It’s very freeing.
conscious of how you occur to others. I’m 31
What teachers, coaches, or mentors have inspired you? There are so many!!! Marianne Williamson,
now is Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He’s
Hale Dwoskin, Jack Canfield. I read
creating the highest form of forgiveness on
EVERYTHING I can get my hands on from
the planet. He is brilliant and amazing. And
Abraham/Esther Hicks and I’m deeply
the bottomline for me? I will NEVER stop
drawn to Byron Katie. Her courses are next
growing. I will always take courses, always
on my list. The one I admire most right
be in an inquiry of my personal growth.
What has been your biggest challenge and how did you overcome it? Incest for sure. It’s been my biggest
don’t condone sexual abuse. AND at the
challenge and my biggest strength! Going
same time this experience has allowed
through the shock, anger, grief, acceptance
me to become compassionate, loving and
and peace has taught me about love and
a thriving business woman. Things don’t
compassion. To this day I wouldn’t trade
happen to us, they happen for us. I am
that experience for anything. Of course I
truly blessed.
So many people have great business ideas but don’t know how to get started. What advice would you give them?
32
One step at a time! Find someone who’s
stopper of amazing things. If fear wasn’t
done what you want and do what they
an obstacle we’d all be following our
did! Get your butt to personal growth and
dreams. When you can break through and
development workshops to move you
be comfortable with being uncomfortable,
through any discomfort or fear. Fear is the
I believe anything is possible.
October 2013
Success
For True Yo u M u s t C h o o s e t o L i s t e n t o Yo u r H e a r t by Lisa Manyon
O
ne of the most beautiful things in life
heart and entrepreneurial dreams knows
is freedom of choice. We have the
there is work involved. It takes a clear vision,
opportunity to choose what we believe,
strategic planning, marketing and more to
what we do and how we do it. We choose
be successful. Beyond all this, the most
where we live and what we really want to
important element to true success is love.
do with our lives. It is a great blessing that
There are so many things to love about
we have this freedom — and a tragedy
being an entrepreneur. An entrepreneur
to see many people not exercising their
makes her own rules and knows it’s OK to
freedom of choice.
embrace her femininity and infuse it into her work. By understanding that we don’t have to separate our life from our work, we can live our purpose and share our gifts with the world to help more people. This is why it’s so important to get out of your head and listen to your heart. TO TRULY CHOOSE SUCCESS, you must be in tune with what brings you joy. Although good business sense is a must for entrepreneurs, success requires even more — heart and love. Beyond and even
34
Business success is also a choice. Anyone
before that it takes gratitude and an open
who has started a business or followed her
mind. October 2013
Living with the spirit of gratitude for all our
situations and achieve goals allows us to
experiences, good and bad, and absorbing
be open to all possibilities.¬ The infinite
the lessons from our experiences are the
beauty of gratitude and open-mindedness
foundation for success in business and life.
segues nicely into love.
Gratitude allows you to appreciate what
LOVE IS THE PASSION, INTEGRITY AND
is, so that you can attract more of what
DRIVE it takes to make decisions from the
you want. When you embrace what is,
heart, decisions that move your business
you honor the natural order of things and
forward, cement the relationships you
this allows more abundance into your life.
build with communication and give you
It’s much like the age-old pendulum of
a consistent inner compass to guide your
the optimist and pessimist. If your glass
success. Better yet, acting and serving in
is half full you’re likely to attract more. If
love will get you noticed for being real and
your glass is half empty you’ll probably
uniquely you.
attract less. Equally as important, keeping your mind open to possibilities will greatly improve your chances of personal success and growth. When you throw love into this potent mix, combined with the power of gratitude and an open mind, anything is possible. AN OPEN MIND is your window into what is beyond your perceptions. Knowing we’re not always right and that there is another,
CONSISTENCY IS IMPORTANT because it
sometimes better, way to approach
creates staying power. When you create a 35
strong brand and platform, and continue
the vital ingredient to the most successful
to be true to that, you’ll gain trust as well
businesses that really are making a
as brand recognition and people will know
difference. It also tends to be second-
you are serious about your business.
nature for female entrepreneurs — and that’s why it’s becoming more and more
COMMUNICATION IS KEY because it builds
prevalent. When you love what you do,
relationships. Relationships are essential
your life improves in all areas and your
to business success because without them
opportunities will grow.
you don’t have customers. It’s important to communicate with clients and potential
By incorporating gratitude, an open mind,
customers to let them know how you can
love, consistency and communication into
serve them.
your life and your business you will be well on your way to success on your own terms.
However, I’ve discovered that consistency and sustain
communication business
alone
success.
cannot Successful
businesses move beyond consistency and communication to incorporate gratitude, open-mindedness and love in all facets. It may seem foreign or inappropriate to do business with love, but I’ve found it’s
36
October 2013
Lisa Manyon is “The Business Marketing
Architect”,
strategist
for
a
content
mission-driven
entrepreneurs. She’s the creator of the new marketing model for success as featured in Inc. Magazine. She teaches a relationship based approach to marketing with integrity with her “Challenge. Solution. Invitation.™” formula. Owner of Write On ~ Creative Writing Services, LLC. Lisa is #1 bestselling author featured in the world’s largest digital library of role models & mentors for women and
Want to read the
girls housed at George Washington University. She offers a free marketing resources on her award winning blog and is available for speaking engagements.
Magazine on your ipad or in print?
http://www.writeoncreative.com/blog
Click here! or go to http://bit.ly/FSinPrint 37
Why Every Conflict
Can Be Resolved by Pragito Dove Many of us dread conflict. We wish we
to their side. Then I have a CHOICE: find
could all just get along.
an agreement, or walk away from the relationship/situation. And, importantly, I
Life, however, has other ideas for us.
feel good about myself, that I have made
Everyone is here to be their true selves,
every effort to find a resolution. By loving
have their own opinions, likes, dislikes
myself enough to speak up, I open my
etc. How boring things would be if we all
heart to include others as well.
agreed on everything all the time. Where would our creativity be needed? Where would love, and compassion be needed? The exciting thing about conflict is that it forces us to expand into a greater creative expression of ourselves….and open our hearts even more. Every time I have found the courage to call someone to task and
38
have a discussion about our conflicting
If we don’t speak up, we are sitting on an
opinions, good things have happened. It
energy of resentment, fear, or frustration
doesn’t mean I always get my way, but I
which can lead, later on, to unconscious
do put myself in a position to express
expressions of that same energy which will
my opinion, speak my truth, and listen
probably not have good outcomes.
October 2013
Conflict is not inevitable. Conflicts are created by people and people can choose to end them. This cannot happen if the parties are set on victory instead of compromise; or, while they prioritize selfcentered interest over the highest good of everyone concerned.
When the willingness to be available for discussion exists, there is no conflict that cannot be resolved. Willingness comes from the heart. If conflict is rooted in an ‘us’ and ‘them’,
points of view, and seeing where we can
or ‘me’ and ‘you’, approach, then peace-
meet, with an emphasis on what we DO
building is precisely the opposite. We have
agree on, and not on what we don’t agree
to get past the adversarial mind-set, and
on. We have to move to our hearts, which
involve everyone concerned in addressing
unite.
the common challenges, listening to other
When the focus is on what we all want, and not on what we don’t want, there is a higher possibility of success.
Our personal histories are all, in one way or
world, we must recognize that ‘peace’ is
another, shaped by the legacies of conflict.
not something you can win; it is something
But as profound and deep-rooted as our
that has to be built and shared. Inner peace
differences may be, it is in our power to
comes from the heart, and it is the heart
redefine those legacies, and, in so doing,
that brings us all to peace.
redefine ourselves. Wherever we live in the
39
Here are 7 suggestions for conflict resolution:
1
Start with the points you all agree on. This sets a positive foundation of agreement
2
Can you all agree that the outcome you want is for the highest good of everyone
3
Are you willing, if necessary, to set aside your personal interests for the highest
4
Can you allow yourself to admit you are wrong? And/or admit that you hadn’t seen
to build upon, uniting all your hearts.
concerned?
good of everyone concerned?
the situation from the other person’s point of view?
5
Are you speaking from your heart or from self-centered ego?
6
Do you want to be right, or be happy?
7
Before starting a conflict resolution do one of the following meditations, either alone or with the other people, to release tensions and emotional charge, and to help bring your most loving self to the table. The more you are in your heart, the more likely you are to manifest a positive outcome.
Laughter Expressive Meditation – Two Minutes 1 Step Laugh for no reason (one minute) S t e pOne: Step Sit in silence (one minute) 2 S t e pTwo: After releasing stress and tensions with laughter, you experience joy, oneness, and love. 40
October 2013
Gibberish Expressive Meditation – Two Minutes 1 Step Step One: Gibberish (one minute) Step p 2 Sit in Silence (one minute) S t e Two: Express your frustrations, resentments and tensions in the gibberish. You then find it much easier and quicker to drop down into a state of inner peace, clarity, love, and compassion.
Pragito Dove is a master trainer,
Founder of The Laughing Buddhas
international speaker, and meditation
Network, and a best-selling author
expert who teaches people how to
in seven languages, she is dedicated
transform anxiety and struggle into
to re-igniting passion and vision in
joy and inner peace in order to achieve
people’s lives, and making abundance
personal,
accessible to all.
and
business
success.
www.discovermeditation.com
41
When You Are In the Dark
Gratitude & Beauty Will Bring You Light! by Celia Ward-Wallace
E
very day that we wake up, we have a reason to be grateful. Then, if we look a
little further, we all find many more things for which we are grateful for and see beauty within. Whether it is our partner lying next to us, or the warm blanket covering us, or the roof over our head, or the sunlight shining in, there is much to be grateful for. It doesn’t take much to see beauty all Granted, throughout the world, people
around ourselves. There is beauty in your
live in various conditions of hardship;
children’s faces, in your home, in the
some are very poor and without basic
trees that line the street, in the smile of
necessities, and others have financial
your coworker, in the body and mind that
comfort with a life of privilege and many
is with you at all times. The problem is
material goods. However, regardless of
that many of us are living our lives in an
our financial standing, we are all unified
unconscious state. We have fallen into
by our commonalities of being living
a hypnotic state of being, where we go
human beings who have been granted this
through each day barely trying to make it
moment in time to live our lives. In itself,
to the next moment. We feel like our lives
this is a very important thing to be grateful
are constantly going, the demands on us
for, and beginning to actively recognize it
are overwhelming and we have no control
can be very motivating.
over our lives. 43
We need to understand that this state of
the clouds start to lift, and we begin to feel
living in a brainwashed, unfulfilled state of
fulfilled by all of life’s greatness instead of
mind is not natural. We were not created
weighed down by life’s pressures to live
to chase success and accumulate things.
an existence based on someone else’s
We were created as the most advanced
standards.
and beautiful beings. The human body is a great thing to focus on in order to become
Who is the happier woman: the one who
more conscious.
has a high-profile job, making a ton of money doing something she doesn’t love, sacrificing her time with family and friends and self-care; or the one who has a lowerpaying job in a field she loves, who lives a simpler life with less material things, who has time for family, friends, exercise and hobbies, as well as more free mental space? To me, the second woman is on the right track, is lucky to have learned the
44
When we choose to be grateful and look
lessons of life earlier than others and will
for beauty in our life wherever we turn,
probably not suffer as much. She values life October 2013
and beauty in all things and stops to smell
principle to use when creating our life’s
the roses, literally observing the miracle of
goals and dreams. We may create a plan
nature and the creation of all things.
for the next six to twelve months and want to attain certain things during that period
If you shift your mindset to gratitude and
of time. However, we will not be able to
start looking for the beauty all around you,
enjoy those accomplishments if we don’t
your heart will be flooded with the love
pay attention, on a regular basis, to all that
you feel.
we already have to be thankful for, and if we don’t keep in mind to not take those
When we make the shift to look at our life
things for granted. If we stay on track with
from a place of gratitude, we find happiness
a gratitude mindset, then we will be that
and peace in the smallest gestures and
much more empowered by the success
interactions that happen throughout
we achieve, because we will feel it with
our day. These positive experiences are
greater significance.
exponentially greater when we focus on the importance of service to our community.
Additionally, by guiding ourselves to focus
This can be volunteering at our child’s
a portion of our day or week on creating
school, donating old clothes to charitable
acts of service, whether small or large,
organizations,
educational
we will have a greater connection to the
workshops, helping take care of our
world around us and become part of the
children and elders and guiding someone
healing force needed in the world. We
along the path of their purpose. Regardless
will rise to our role as leaders and active
of the form, giving back to others and our
participants in society as a whole. This is
world creates harmony, flow and positivity,
motivating, empowering, meaningful and
and this all leads to many more things
sorely needed.
teaching
about which all of us can be grateful. So, remember to stay conscious in your Gratitude is also a powerful guiding
day and let gratitude and beauty be your 45
guiding lights! This is easy to do because beauty is all around you, starting with yourself. When you learn to love yourself, you open yourself up to all of the love surrounding you. Questions:
1
What are ten blessings that you have to be grateful for today?
2
Where do you see beauty in your life?
3
What shifts can you make in your life to see more beauty?
Celia Ward-Wallace is a certified life
tools to stand in their power, live a life of
coach, keynote speaker and the author of “A
contribution and manifest their greatness,
Woman’s Guide to Having it All, Life Lessons
through her movement of “Empowering
to Live By.” Celia thought she had the perfect
Women Every Day” as well as through her
life – until she lost it all. Through her journey
book, coaching programs, seminars and
back from rock bottom, she realized that a
speeches. Celia is also the Vice President of
great life is not measured by what you have
the Certified Coaches Federation, America’s
but by who you are.
Leading Life & Executive Coach Certification
Training Program.
Celia Ward-Wallace is on a mission
to mobilize over 1,000,000 women with the
46
www.celiawardwallace.com
October 2013
Happy For Very
Good Reasons by Bethina M. Gordon
E
ven if the world news is dire, your
crisis. National Geographic explorer and
boss a sour puss and your bank
author Dan Buettner traveled the world to
account dwindling by the minute – there
discover intriguing secrets of happiness.
ARE ways to feel happy during times of
America, take note. 47
Bettina: We all know the famous saying “Money can’t buy you happiness”. Usually this sentence is quoted by people who don’t have any money. So here’s the question I always wanted to ask an expert: can money buy me happiness or not? Yes, it can. Studies clearly show that
of happiness that stems from your income
money does indeed make us happy, but
alone. Beyond this number it does not
only up to a certain point. After analyzing
make much difference anymore if you add
over 450,000 responses to a daily survey
one or another six zeros to this sum.
of 1,000 randomly selected U.S. residents, two top scientists at Princeton University have determined the following: people assessed their lives to be happier and more content the more money they earned. But in daily life an annual income of about $ 75,000 is enough to generate a maximum
Bettina: Hold on. Does that mean that happiness does not significantly increase with a rising income, status and power? In other words: Donald Trump with all his billions, private planes, mansions and influence is not happier than … me? There are two kinds of happiness: First,
So when it comes to evaluated happiness,
there is how you evaluate your life, how
yes, a billionaire is going to say that he is
you think back and remember it. The
happier than a millionaire at the end of the
problem is that we all only remember a
day. But when you look at the experience
small fraction of our lives and we tend to
of a billionaire’s life it may not be so good
remember it imperfectly. Secondly, there
as it sounds – a billionaire is often not
is how we experience our lives. And these
sure if friends really like him for who he
are two different things.
is or only for the money; he’s got all kind of financial worries; a more demanding
48
October 2013
spouse/partner; all the properties to take
is not better than that of someone who
care of; and he’s more afraid of the market
makes less. As I said, an income of $
swings, then the experience is probably
75,000 is enough to generate a maximum
not better than that of a millionaire. And
of happiness strictly financially speaking.
a millionaire’s experience of happiness
So why do almost all of us chase the mighty dollar so fervently then? There is something called the hedonic
you got the promotion, new car or new
treadmill: We think we want the bigger
airplane. The happiness based on new
house, the bigger car, the nicer clothes or
things is just temporary.
the big promotion at work and we often get it. But, we overestimate the time span that these things boost our experienced happiness level. The reality is that new stuff wears out pretty quickly. After usually six to nine months you are right at the same happiness level that you were before
You say we can learn how to be happy. How? Only about 30 percent of your happiness
we think and behave, instead of what we
comes from your genes, the way you
have. It is much more powerful and long
were born. A much bigger percentage, 50
lasting to seek out experiences such as
percent, of your happiness depends on
savoring a beautiful moment and taking
you and on how you think and react to
a picture of it; thanking a friend; writing a
things every day. So you can stack the odds
gratitude journal; or performing random
in your favor.
acts of kindness. Such habits add up to create an upward spiral that boosts
The true keys to happiness lie in the ways
happiness. 49
We spend the majority of our time at work – how high does job happiness rank in the overall feeling of happiness? Your job is the single most important factor
job is one of the most important things we
when it comes to your happiness. It gives
can do to influence our happiness. By the
people a sense of worth, but also a social
way, the happiest people at work are also
network which we would not have if it
the happiest people at home.
wouldn’t be for the job. So finding the right To read the interview in full please go to: http://www.bettinagordon.com/happiness-dan-buettner-national-geographic/
Bettina Gordon
is an international
CEOs and other cultural change agents.
journalist and an adventurer. As at ease in a
pair of hiking boots as in a pair of high heels,
movers and shakers like Michael Bloomberg,
she lives the life of a busy New York/DC
Walter Cronkite, Steven Spielberg, Dr.
journalist while making time to shear sheep
Christiane Northrup and Daniel Pink. Bettina
on a remote Australian farm or trek across
loves to spend time with phenomenally
the southwestern US visiting sacred sites
interesting people and to “peek behind the
with an Apache Warrior Woman.
curtain” to see what drives them to have
the impact that they do and, of course, what
Bettina gathers thought-provoking
insights from bestselling authors, daring
In her career, Bettina has interviewed
makes them HAPPY! www.BettinaGordon.com
50
October 2013
Looking to reach savvy, heart-centered and mission-driven feminine entrepreneurs? Advertise on the Feminine Soul Magazine and Radio Show. For more information on advertising with us, please send an email to info@femininesoul.com
L e t ’s C e le b r a t e M e n Fo r W ha t Th ey Do W el l & N o t T ry to B e T h e m by Katie Day
B
e honest, how would you feel if the
behaviour? Is it your belief that this is
men you work with mirrored your
only way you will succeed? The reality is
feminine character traits every day without
you may well succeed but at what cost?
displaying any of their male character
What is the cost to you personally, to your
traits?
Puzzled? Irritated?
relationships at work and your personal
Confused? Down right annoyed? How
relationships? What is the cost to your
much would that honour and celebrate
mental and emotional health? Is the price
you as a woman? Not very much is the
really worth paying?
Pleased?
answer. How do you feel when a man celebrates So, as we don’t expect men to behave like
you as a woman? When a man really
us in life, why do we think we’re expected
honours your character traits because
to behave like them? Because, the truth is,
he recognises that the differences bring
it isn’t expected.
benefits to the company, the team, the relationship? Do you feel resentment or truly seen and appreciated? I doubt resentment enters into the equation here! To be truly seen and appreciated allows a person to blossom into the highest version of themselves they can be. This will impact positively on all relationships, enhancing
If you are a woman in a male-dominated
communication at every level.
environment, are you mirroring male 52
October 2013
is crucial that everyone, male and female, honours and celebrates the differences. It is the only way harmony and respect can be established and maintained. How many times have you said, or heard another woman say, “Typical ******* Now, take the spotlight off of yourself and
man!” Well, thank goodness! I would
put it on the men in your life. By mirroring
hate a man in my life to be a typical
their male character traits, how much
woman! Men are fabulous human beings
are you respecting them? If you are not
– different to us, but still fabulous. We are
respecting them, why do you believe you
also fabulous human beings – different to
deserve to be treated with respect? We
men, but still fabulous. Both genders bring
get back what we put out into the world.
amazing strengths to any relationship, whether that is personal or professional, and we can learn so much from each other, but only if we honour and respect each other and allow each gender to ‘be’ who they are meant to be, without judgement or condition.
Men and women are different – for a reason.
Women who behave like men are giving
How incredibly boring and mundane
the message to the world that women
would life be if we were all the same? It
are not good enough, therefore the only
is the very differences that create strength
way to be respected in life is to deny the
and stability. If everyone is exactly like us,
feminine and copy the masculine. Is this
where are the opportunities for our own
really the kind of woman you want to be?
growth? The most successful and creative
Is this really the message you are happy
teams are the ones that embrace the
communicating to the world and to the
diversity of thought and character styles. It
women coming up behind you?
53
So, stop ‘beating him up’ for being a man
authentic feminine power. It’s a lot less
and, instead, try thanking him for being
stressful and a lot more fun! See how your
a man, for being who he was born to be
relationships change, see if your levels of
and have the courage to step into your
resentment and frustration drop and your levels of joy and ease increase. Recognise that feminine traits are essential for the health and sustainability of business in the 21st century and that as women we all have a responsibility to be true to who we are.
Katie
Day
started
her
training
and
Katie has become a sought after
motivational speaking career in 1989 with
speaker and trainer on women’s development
Carolyn Miller, a top Style Consultant in the
and leadership skills. She has appeared many
United Kingdom, providing Personal Branding
times on National Radio both in the UK and the
and Image Management.
She earned her
US, she has appeared on TV, and had articles
training accreditation in 1995 with the
featured in many business publications across
Springboard Program, a self-development
the World. Her new book, The High-heeled
course for women. Katie took this program
Leader, Embrace Your Feminine Power in
to the financial district of London, where
Life and Work, was published in September
she worked with many women in that arena
2012 and is available via Balboa Press and on
to present themselves with authority and
Amazon. Learn more at
gain respect, yet retain their uniqueness and
http://www.katieday.com
femininity.
54
October 2013
Breaking Down The Walls -
Being Authentic... Being Passionate by Dianna Bowes
I
hope I am an original, this was something
50’s, being yourself, original, unique
I struggled with for many years. I really
to the world, was not something that
did not know who I was until I hit my mid-
was embraced. Being different is still
forties. Holy Cow, that took a long time.
challenging, teenagers struggle with this
People would say “just be yourself”. I
all the time. If you are not like everyone
would pretend to get it, but I didn’t, what
else, it can be a hard road. Standing out
the heck did that mean? For me, it was
takes courage.
always, what do others want me to be? How can I fit in? How can I be invisible so
One of my daughters friend’s was tall
I won’t be noticed? Well, that is another
and an unbelievable dancer, with a very
story for another day.
unique personality. I loved her sense of humor, her ability to just be...but guess what? Not only did she get put down
Self Esteem
by many of the teenagers at the dance studio they practiced at, but the mother’s
For those of you lucky to have great self-
were just as bad, if not worse. It seemed
esteem, you will think this is odd, but I
to bother them that she was an original,
know many of you out there understand?
they misinterpreted her confidence for
Am I right?
being stuck up or full of herself and were constantly saying rude things about her.
As a woman who was born in the late
55
Mean Girls Needless to say, I understood early in that
In my Fabulous@50 meetup group I feel
game that those were the mom’s I was not
strongly that even though we all come
interested in being friends with. Yes, these
from all walks of life, some of us single,
mom’s were the mean girls in high school,
married, divorced, widowed, working,
that instead of lifting their girlfriends up,
retired...grandmas...that we are all women
they did everything they could to make
first. Women whose bodies are changing,
them feel inferior. So sad...
and our lives are transforming.
We had all paid out an abundance of money to have our daughters in dancing
Be An Original
to do what? Increase their self-image, self-discipline, to keep them focused
• Wear hats
on something positive and something
• Buy a pair of really funky glasses
would challenge them not only physically
• Take up dancing or a new hobby you
but mentally as well. So why would they
have always wanted to do
criticize the ones that were getting that
• Start a blog or write a book
for their parents money...jealousy I would
• Design your own jewellery and wear it
guess.
• Change your hair color • Buy a red bra and wear it everyday
This past weekend I had the privilege of
56
being in a room with 100 women who
I know there are times that other people
embrace the growth of other women.
say things that we do not understand or
Every woman in the room were champions
can’t identify with. But as my grandmother
for the others, such a sense of support and
would so often say to me “if we were all
I am thankful for finding my tribe.
the same, it would be a very funny world”. October 2013
That statement always makes me think twice. I sure miss my wise grandma. She
Dianna Bowes is the Founder
taught me the simple lessons, be kind, be
of Fabulous@50 and Editor
patient and be loyal.
of Be Fabulous! Magazine. Dianna is a business owner
Break Free From the Mold
that
models
innovation,
a
integrity
and
philanthropist
who gives to many causes
So the big lesson of the day, let’s give
and is a champion for others.
ourselves and others the permission
In 2008 Dianna recognized
to break free from the mold. Stop the
that baby boomer women
judgment and when you feel judged, just
were missing something: the
let it go and trust that at some point they
opportunity to connect, have
will get it. Matching the negative energy
fun, and to be inspired, so she
never makes a situation better, I say kill
created a community dedicated
them with kindness.
to supporting women who are in the transition of mid-
The great thing about this time of our lives
age. Dianna was the winner
is that we get to redefine, refocus and be
of the 2011 YWCA Women of
an original.
If not now, when?
Distinction Award in the Turning Point Category.Her motto is “If
Fabulously yours, Dianna
not now, when?� Learn more at www.fabulousat50.com
57
How to Throw a Last-Minute
Halloween Party On The Cheap! by Sharon McRill
R
uh roh… The gang is headed to your
Here are some tips for throwing together
place for some post trick-or-treating
a spell-binding Halloween scene – on the
refreshment! But no need to run screaming
cheap, no less!
from the back door. You can do this!
Food Make a big pot of something they can
plates, silverware, napkins, and a basket of
help themselves to. Chili or sloppy joes
buns or corn bread. Have several candles
make good choices. Set up a buffet area
on the buffet. A big bowl of popcorn – and
with everything your goblins need: bowls/
you’re done!
Drink If you don’t have time to make blood red
is a perfect beverage for this party.
punch with dry ice “fog,” no worries! Cider
58
October 2013
Décor Cheap and easy! Gather some colorful
buffet table. Have acorns in your yard? All
leaves, dry them off and flatten them for
the better!
a couple hours, then scatter them on your
Tablescape If you have a tablecloth in a fall color, use
centerpiece, more candles and a group
it! If not, a clean flat sheet in a shade of
of small pumpkins or gourds look great.
red, orange or brown works fine. For your
Scatter more leaves around, and voila!
Lightning Candles, candles, candles!
If you have
your buffet table.
purple or orange mini lights, use them on
Music Nothing sets a Halloween mood like
the soundtrack from Halloween? Or play a
spooky music. If you don’t have a good
scary movie on TV during your gathering.
CD, find a couple at the library. How about
Games They’re not just for kids! Grown up or not, your guests will delight in these activities.
59
“THE HANDS-FREE DOUGHNUT DEVOUR” Having purchased a dozen or
ready!) We recommend you do this in
so doughnuts, you hang one by a string just
drop cloth to catch the inevitable
above mouth-height for each contestant.
doughnut detritus.
Without using their hands, they must eat
on your space, you can
the entire doughnut. Sound easy? Try it!
have all guests do this at
For more giggles and shrieks, use powdered
once, or one at a time. For
sugar doughnuts. (Have clean up supplies
extra fun, time the contestants.
“HALLOWEEN BOCCE BALL” Clear out
bigger bocce balls and a small pallino, use
an area in a room for this one. You play
apples (yellow and red) and a pumpkin!
a non-carpeted area, or put down a Depending
regular bocce ball rules, but in place of
“WHO AM I?” On each guest’s back,
you’ve prepared ahead of time. The guest
place a sticker with the name of a different
must ask ONLY yes-or-no questions to
famous monster or scary villain from a list
figure out who they are.
Prizes and Favors The dollar store is your friend! Not familiar?
silly prizes, even costume props.
Check it out. You’ll find candy, decorations,
Camera at the Ready
60
Record the fun on video or snap pix
the guests the next day – possibly with
throughout the party, and send them to
blackmail instructions.
October 2013
Sharon McRill likes to help busy
her team of 12 “Betties� perform
people get things done. Owner and
such projects as moving coordination,
president of The Betty Brigade, an
organizing and event planning. For
Ann Arbor-based personal assistance
more information on The Betty
and concierge company, Sharon and
Brigade, visit at www.BettyBrigade.com
61
Upcoming Shows
10/3/13 at 12 pm Embracing Feminine Leadership with Katie Day Listen live or on demand after it airs by going to: http://bit.ly/KatieDay
10/10/13 at 12 pm EST Transforming Leadership: How To Be A Great Leader with Heather Henderson Listen live or on demand after it airs by going to: http://bit.ly/HeatherHenderson
10/17/13 at 12 pm EST Reduce Stress By Using Sound and Music with Sharon Carne Listen live or on demand after it airs by going to: http://bit.ly/SharonCarne
10/24/13 at 12 pm EST Nurturing Wellness through Radical Self Care with Janet Nestor Listen live or on demand after it airs by going to: http://bit.ly/JanetNestor
62
October 2013
10/31/13 at 12 pm EST Create the Work Life You Really Want with Robin C. Crawford Listen live or on demand after it airs by going to: http://bit.ly/RobinCrawford
Catch Up to Past Shows Gina Cloud Living Like A W.O.M.A.N. Catch the replay at: http://bit.ly/GinaCloud
Edel O’Mahony Conscious Creating - Where Science and Magic Meet Catch the replay at: http://bit.ly/EdelOMahony
Marlise Karlin The Simplicity of Stillness Method Catch the replay at: http://bit.ly/MarliseKarlin
Tabby Biddle Find & Claim Your Feminine Political Voice Catch the replay at: http://bit.ly/TabbyBiddle
63