You Used to Be Seventeen by Casey Craddock

You Used to Be Seventeen

by Casey Craddock Second Place Prose

One day you’re 17, then you turn around and you’re 23 and your grandma is dead. You only talk to your brother every couple of months when you used to play games together every day. You haven’t talked to any of your high school friends since the day you graduated. You had big plans for when you finally got out of your hometown, but now that you’re out you see that nothing is different, yet everything has changed. The house your grandma grew up and lived in is for sale. The height markers you and your brother made are still carved in the door frame. Your beloved dog is old and grey now. No longer the pup she used to be. You look at a picture of yourself from when you were fifteen and wonder what did she have to be so sad about? You look in the mirror and see the grey hairs that she didn’t have, and you feel so much older, but still so inexperienced at the age of 23. You listen to the songs you used to love and find that you don’t remember the lyrics anymore. You only make two or three art pieces a year when you used to be so passionate about art. Your cousin that you ate lunch with everyday tried to end her life and you didn’t even know until your other cousin mentioned it in passing. You no longer look at your elderly family members in wonder. You look at them and wonder how long you have left with them. You used to laugh when they didn’t remember things. Now it sends ice through your veins. You used to be a hopeful little 17-year-old kid. You thought things would get better, because that’s what they told you, but they lied. You just get older, and everything changes.