THE SOLUTION TO A SIMPLE, MEANINGFUL, WELL-DESIGNED LIFE /
THE F Ê T E / LIF E PROJECT
18
NO. DECLUTTERING YOUR MENTAL CLUTTER
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health / W E L L - B E I N G
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DECLUT TERING YOUR MENTAL CLUT TER Searching for inner peace can be a life-long quest for some. Health retreats and holidays are a short term fix until crashing back to reality with a thud! What if there was a more permanent solution to calming the anxious voices in our heads? Work though the mental clutter and clear the way for a quiet mind and a positive approach to life. Those voices inside your head won't be quiet – all you can hear is your boss telling you to have those reports complete by Friday, or your daughter reminding you there's soccer practice this Saturday, or a parent's voice telling you they need your help cleaning the house this weekend. Most of us have somewhere to be each day, not to mention the everyday fire drills we get put through at work or at home. It can feel very overwhelming and our minds can get noisy. Some of use even have echoes of voices from experience in the past. How do you deal with all that mental clutter? Mental clutter is something I've worked on my entire life. I used to feel like, no matter what, I constantly had some sort of mental clutter – I always had something going on in my mind. If it wasn't something new causing that anxious, chaotic feeling, it was something from the past creeping back into present to haunt me. Some days were worse than others, but it was there every day. And then, after fixing several other parts of my life, I was able to cut down on the mental clutter… HEALTH
Your mind and your body aren't standing in separate corners of the room – it's much easier for a physically unhealthy person to experience a poor mental state. The brain is a delicate organ and we must treat it well. If you are interested in learning more, I recommend ‘Change Your Brain, Change Your Life' by Daniel G. Amen. I was impressed with Amen's in-depth explanation between the human brain and the human body. I notice I feel more anxious when I have an empty stomach, have not exercised in a few days, eat junk food and don't get enough sleep. I discovered that once I changed these things, the mental clutter began clearing away. Improving my health was an important first step.
CIRCUMSTANCES
Now every time I feel anxiety caused from some past experience, I ask myself a few different questions – is that situation relevant now? Was the situation even that serious? Am I blowing it out of proportion? Was that situation in my control? Does Once I decided I'd had enough of the what that person, family member, or friend mental clutter, though, I had no choice said actually have validity, or are they just but to change my circumstances – I had no acting out? choice but to remove myself from These questions helped me discern the circumstances that added to the problem. things that mattered and didn't matter, so I stopped associating with certain people, I could stop being so hard on myself. I also changed my spending habits, downsized had to learn what things were in and out my possessions. I started with myself and of my control. If something was out of my in time, changed my circumstances. control, I accepted it so I could focus on Over time things change and instead the things I could control – the things of letting them change on their own, I could change. or letting things change me, I decided WHAT MAKES YOU TICK? to change myself.
If you're like me – the old me – then you're saying to yourself you can't change your circumstances. And with that attitude, you're right.
Some of those changes were difficult. I stopped associating with a few folks who encouraged bad habits and the world didn't stop spinning. I was laid off from my six-figure career and I didn't die. I set new expectations with friends and family and they supported me.
To find out what made me tick, I drew a vertical line down a piece of paper. I labelled the left side, ‘bad days' and the right side, ‘good days'. For each scenario, ‘good day' or ‘bad day', I thought of the foods I ate, the people I saw, the places I visited, etc. I couldn't remember every detail, but it gave me a few places to start.
My circumstances are completely different To get better, I knew I needed to identify now from what they were a short while ago the problems and then find the appropriate and I'm infinitely happier. Don't take this tools to combat them. Those tools can be the wrong way – I'm not suggesting different for everyone, but don't expect to everyone needs to quit their job or take fight the voice in your head on your own. dire actions, but please understand your problems likely aren't as bad as you think. Don't be fooled by anyone – you are in control of your circumstances. You are in control of you. PAST TROUBLES
This was one of my biggest issues – my haunting past. I've made mistakes, I've let down people and I've made dumb decisions. I've been extremely hard on myself, unnecessarily hard, neurotic about the mistakes and bad decisions I've made. I'd often fall asleep replaying my whole day in my head, searching every interaction and conversation for mistakes so I could improve myself.
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ISSUE NO. 21 / FETEPRESS.COM.AU
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