Schools present many opportunities for rejection, including graded papers and college letters. Photo by Fletcher Haltom.
Accepting rejection Exposure therapy offers a potential remedy for rejection anxieties Fletcher Haltom
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haltofle000@hsestudents.org
t happens all too often: reluctantly, a student removes their dream school from their application list, fearful of not being accepted. An employee hesitates to ask for that promotion that they know they deserve. A customer refuses to send their incorrect order back to the kitchen, not wanting to hassle anyone. Fear of rejection is a powerful deterrent, one that can be beneficial in moderate doses but detrimental in large ones. Mark Leary, a professor of psychology at Duke University, contends that, to a great extent, our concern with social acceptance “spreads its fingers into almost everything we do.” Although avoidance of rejection is beneficial in some cases, it is too often seen in nearly everything we think, say and do, which leads to a world of other issues. Fear of being denied can build to larger, more intrusive issues, including potentially serious ones related to both anxiety and stress. There are a myriad of consequences of social rejection that may be the underlying worry in one’s fear of rejection. According to Dr. Tchiki Davis, an expert in psychology and well-being, there are two general
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types of rejection: active and passive. Active rejection includes actions such as exclusion and ostracization, while passive rejection includes bullying, stigmatization and betrayal. While some steps have been taken to combat fears related to active rejection, not enough has been done to address fears of passive rejection. However, a new brand of exposure therapy, known informally as “rejection therapy,” offers a promising potential solution to combat fears of rejection, particularly passive ones. In schools especially, practicing rejecction therapy would lessen anxieties and encourage leaving comfort zones. Rejection therapy is the popular name for a form of exposure therapy whereby patients are gradually exposed to rejectionprone situations in order to lessen the fear of rejection. Though it is not among the most popular treatments for rejection anxiety, therapists may simply not have the education to practice it. According to a study by Adam Reid and Andrew Guzick, professors of psychology at Baylor University and the University of Florida, 92% of private practice therapists reported that they would benefit from more training
in exposure therapy, and, by extension, rejection therapy. It has shown promise in limited trials, although the research about exposure therapy has been more expansively conducted. Specifically, exposure therapy has shown the ability to effectively combat anxiety disorders, which are intrinsic to most fears of rejection. Particularly within the walls of school buildings, rejection therapy has a great degree of merit. Although the possible anxiety-inducing situations that students find themselves in during school (asking a question to a teacher, talking to a new group of students, facing peer pressure) are not necessarily related to anxiety disorders, there are legitimate benefits that can be derived through exposure therapy as it pertains to anxiety for students. Practicing exposure therapy for rejection, or even for anxiety, at least in some form, would be a beneficial practice for students who may suffer from these fears. Doing so would increase confidence, lessen fears of denial and provide a multitude of other benefits to students that would aid them in making school a more comfortable environment.
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