The Skribe - Issue#3 by Fina Florez

ISSUE #3

THE HONORABLE MENSCH’N: BARAK RAVIV by Farah D. Shamolian pg. 8

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THE WEDDING MADE FOR THE GUESTS by Eman Esmailzadeh pg. 12

FACEBOOK FAÇADE by Tina Javaherian pg. 22

QUESTION OF THE DAY by Rodney Rabbani pg. 34

CONTENT

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OUR GENERATION AND INTERMARRIAGE By Eyal Aharonov

words of wisdom: melech (king) By Kamy Eliasi

ABOUT THE SKRIBE

THE SKRIBE MAGAZINE

By Farah D. Shamolian

IS GUN CONTROL THE ANSWER? By Jonathan Delshad

The Skribe’s mission is to be the preeminent resource for the quality reporting and analysis of the contemporary issues and trends that impact Jewish young professionals of Southern California and beyond. We seek to distill information, synthesize solutions and provide a holistic vision of issues that affect the community, as well as report on community events and happenings. Fundamental to our vision are the following principles that guide our direction:

THE HONORABLE MENSCH’N: BARAK RAVIV PG.8

THE WEDDING MADE FOR THE GUESTS PG.12 By Eman Esmailzadeh

• Promote awareness and knowledge of Israel, Jewish thought and culture • Create a professional and positive impact in the broader community • Celebrate creativity, balance, humor, and connectedness • Empower the voice of community members The Skribe is a completely not-for-profit publication that is run by an independent group of like-minded volunteers. We are not supervised or controlled by any organization or synagogue. CONT. ON PG. 35

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LOVE & SEXUALITY: WHY WE FEEL WHAT WE FEEL By David Issever FACEBOOK FAÇADE PG.22 By Tina Javaherian

QUESTION OF THE DAY PG.34 By Rodney Rabbani

WEATHERING THE STORM: A Story Overcoming Stuttering By Ryan Cadry

Channukah 10 Things You Should Not Do! By Jennifer Saeedian

36 LOVE & HATE: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

By Raymond Nourmand, Ph.D.

06 16

THREADJAR: FASHION WITH A PURPOSE By Judith Iloulian

FACTORS FOR SUCCESS Inspired by Tech Entrepreneur Jason Reuben By Ashley Kohanarieh

DRUKEN SUFGANYA A Channukah Specialty Drunken Doughnut Cocktail. By Ellis Doostan

BUSINESS HELP FROM AN UNLIKEY SOURCE

ORANGE YOU HUNGRY FOR LATKES?

Rabbi Issamar Ginzberg By Abigail Leichman

Potato Cakes Made With Yams By Valerie Bouganim

28 40 42 ISSUE #3

Letter from The Editor Channukah, the festival of lights-- “Chag Ha-Orim” There was always something special about lighting candles for 8 days as a child. Perhaps it was knowing that my ancestors had been doing it for thousands of years, or that millions of other Jews around the world were engaged in the same act of lighting. Either way, it has always been a special time of the year for me. As I have grown into a young adult, I have been exposed to wisdom that has revealed the beauty of the true meaning behind Chanukah. It has gotten me thinking: How can I translate the Chanukah story about the miracles between the Jews and Greeks to apply TODAY? This is not merely just a commemoration of a story; this is a time to re-dedicate ourselves, a chance to bring light into our lives, and shine that light outwards to the rest of the world.

Bright Lights From The Skribe Ever since our launch in August, the Skribe team has been working hard to be the preeminent resource for young Jewish professionals of all backgrounds (Sephardic & Ashkenazic) in Los Angeles. We are reaching out to every Jewish community, regardless of ancestry, and asking them to get involved. We are surfacing the voices of our young professionals, and allowing them to be heard (sharing the light, so to say). What makes us different? This magazine is BY and FOR young professionals, so every article that is shared comes from their voices. Each of our contributors has a special story, perspective,

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or talent they are sharing with their fellow Jews. In this issue, we discuss a plethora of topics such as: the role of Facebook in our lives today, the effects of intermarriage, the life of someone who has dedicated himself to perpetual philanthropy, and factors of success from a successful tech entrepreneur , to name a few. Even though the Skribe is still young, this being its third issue, it has already shined light in many lives. With the involvement of the community, it will continue to be a source by which people share light with their peers.

Channukah Wishes For Our Readers When a Channukah candle is lit even in the darkest of places, it will still spread its light, illuminating its surroundings. The kindling of each candle serves as a spark. Take that spark with you and spread the light around to people who are in need of it most. As you gather around the menorah with your family, friends, and loved ones may the light serve as a reminder of where you came from and where you aspire to reach. Don’t you know yet, it is YOUR light that lights the worldsRumi

Farah D. Shamolian

THE SKRIBE EDITORIAL BOARD Editor-in- Chief: Farah D. Shamolian

Managing EditorS: Dorsa Beroukim Kay & Eman Esmailzadeh

LEAD Editor: Leah Kohan

Copy EditorS: Tina Javaherian & Ashley Kohanarieh

DISTRIbution & marketing: Eyal Aharonov, Raymond Nourmand, Sara Kashani, Jacqueline Rafii, Rebecca Aframian & Rodney Rabbani

FASHION Editor: Judith Iloulian

FOOD & CULTURE: Valerie Bouganim

ISSUE #3

Community

verybody has story to tell – a story that venerates the significant, yet meaningful, moments of their lives which cultivate the ideals comprising the very essence of their moral fibers. I’m going to begin this piece by briefly recounting my story…not out of a sense of narcissism or conceitedness, but rather as a means to a noble end. If I haven’t already scared you off, then keep reading…I promise it’ll be worth your while. I’ve had a very interesting childhood. I grew up in a typical Iranian-Jewish family consisting of 23 first-cousins, 5 uncles, 4 aunts, parents who were (and who still are) in a loving marriage, two goldfish named Tom and Jerry, and a younger sister who – for better or for worse – always considered me to be an ideal role model. However, my childhood was somewhat atypical: I was by no means a quiet kid…and, as a teenager, my occasional rowdiness continually gave rise to a myriad of after-school detentions and referrals to the principal’s office.

Despite my boisterousness, I always excelled in my schoolwork while also managing to make plenty of close friends. I earned straight ‘A’s in school; I was a starting forward on my middle-school basketball team; and I received flattering notes and prank calls from the occasional “secret admirer”. All of this essentially translated to a rather-seamless childhood, right? Wrong. All throughout my early-youth, and well into my adolescence, I grew up with the worst possible speech disorder imaginable: I was a stutterer. The stutter wasn’t just something that reared its ugly head whenever I became “nervous” or “anxious”. Rather the overt signs of my speech impediment were as unremitting as monsoon rains of South Asia: they were characterized by nothing less than perpetual cycles of tense pauses and blocked speech. Needless to say, my stutter had a significant impact on my self-confidence for a variety of reasons – not the least of which was the fact that a widespread ignorance of my ordeal ultimately fed into peoples’ derisions and misconceptions of me. As such, I was

Weathering the Storm: A Story of Overcoming Stuttering by Ryan Cadry, ESQ always disinclined to participate in class discussions, or to otherwise approach my teachers with any pressing questions that I may have had. The twist in my story is that I am now a practicing attorney who can’t keep from talking: I argue fact-intensive cases in open court, I negotiate complex settlement agreements and, if need be, I present my arguments before a panel of twelve jurors (and anybody else who happens to be sitting in the courtroom gallery). If, twenty years ago, I had been asked whether I would be an attorney who speaks publicly for a living, my answer would have been a resounding “NO.” So…what ultimately led to my “transformation?” How did I end up talking for a living when, as a young

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man, I couldn’t even construct a coherent sentence? One word suffices for my answer: willpower. What do Moses, Winston Churchill, King George VI, Nicole Kidman, and James Earl Jones have in common? They were all stutterers who prevailed over their hardships through an unparalleled determination and a strength of mind. The irony is that all of these figures were also involved in pursuits which required them to speak publicly. Moses had initially resisted G-d’s commandment to approach Pharaoh: “Oh Lord, I am not a man of words, neither heretofore, nor since Thou hast spoken unto Thy servant; for I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.” Yet, he almost single-handedly unchained the Israel-

ites from Egypt’s venomous control. Three-thousand years later, King George VI and Winston Churchill orated among the most awe-inspiring speeches at a time when the British suffered heavy losses at the hands of their German counterparts. On the entertainment front: James Earl Jones has either won, or has been nominated for, a total of eight primetime Emmy Awards, five Golden Globe awards, and two Oscars. Nicole Kidman, for her part, has won so many awards that there is an entire Wikipedia entry devoted exclusively to her list accolades. Their stories aren’t simply quirks of fate: they had steep mountains climb; and while, on occasion, they subjectively felt as if they would lose their grips and thereby plummet into the depths of the violent river below them…they nonetheless hung on, pulled forward, and never allowed their personal tribulations to obstruct their paths toward definitive success. Now, I happen to believe that movies are an indispensable means of gaining constructive insight into the human experience. By situating yourself into the shoes

of the protagonists and antagonists of a well-crafted film, you can acquire a true sense of the human dispositions to which you would not otherwise be exposed. That said, the premise of this entire piece can be summed up by many inspirational films such as Rudy, A Knight’s Tale, Gladiator and The Karate Kid. However, one film in particular – GI Jane – does an exceptional job in conveying the morals of this piece. GI Jane is a 1997 film that recounts the fictional story of a woman who experiences the rigors of U.S. Navy Seal Training. Jordan O’Neil, the main character of the film, sought to defy all odds in enduring the physical strains and the mental demands of Seal training. She was the only woman in a class of one-hundred male recruits who sought to successfully negotiate “the most intensive military training known to man.” Hence, she was not only required debunk the stereotypes of “physical weakness” commonly associated with women, but she also had to overcome the chauvinism that personified the temperaments of her male classmates. Her unsur-

“How did I end up talking for a living when, as a young man, I couldn’t even construct a coherent sentence? One word suffices for my answer: willpower.” passed fortitude ultimately laid the groundwork for her successful induction into the U.S. Navy’s fictional Combined Reconnaissance Team. The message of the film is clear: when you surrender to your own shortcomings and to external pressures, you’ve cheated yourself out of the potentiality for greatness; but if you weather the storm, the possibilities for success are virtually limitless. Confidence isn’t something that just magically sprouts into existence; it’s something that’s gradually developed after you learn how to face your fears and to cope with your hardships. Impoverished people have become wealthy CEOs; overweight people have become world-class athletes; stutters have become famous celebrities and politicians. All of them have one common

characteristic: they’ve developed their confidence by standing firm in the face of adversity, and by always swinging their bats at all of the strange curveballs that life throws their way. Every person reading this article knows personal agony and misfortune; but what really attests to a person’s character is how they cope with their struggles. You can either hopelessly accept it without a challenge… or you can defy the odds, and prove to yourself that you can, indeed, climb that unclimbable mountain. The option is yours; but choose wisely…because regardless of what you decide, your children will almost certainly learn of your judgments with their own eyes, listen to your beliefs with their own ears, and grow up following your examples.■

ISSUE #3

The Honorable Mensch'n:

Barak Raviv

n a dynamic Jewish community, there are always individuals who dedicate their passion, time, and money towards helping others—such an individual could be called a true “mensch”. In Yiddish, a “mensch” is defined as “a person of integrity and honor.” Barak Raviv not only embodies the classic definition of a mensch, but has added even more depth to the name. Barak is a philanthropist who founded the Barak Raviv Foundation in 2007, which provides financial support for a broad range of non-profit organizations and causes including cancer research, poverty alleviation, and access to healthcare. These services are provided to various Jewish communities as well as underprivileged communities around the world. Among many of his endeavors, Barak is also a Mission Command Pilot for Angel Flight West, where he flies passengers with medical needs to their destinations for treatment. Professionally, Barak serves as Senior Vice President and Portfolio Manager at Morgan Stanley in Beverly Hills.

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BY Farah D. Shamolian, MPH

How It All Got Started Giving back to the community and donating to causes has been a priority for Barak for as long as he remembers. Even as a young professional, he always strived to give as much as he could. He recalls a time when $25 was the most he was able to give; “I would give whatever I was able to afford,” said Barak. Barak first got involved with Magen David Adom, Israel’s ambulance, blood-services, and disaster-relief organization, at a Passover seder in 2002. A man got up in the middle of the seder to raise money for what he described as an “organization that saves lives.” Barak asked the man for more information and ended up giving him a $50 check, which was all he could afford at the time. That check may not have had a prodigious immediate effect, but it was a seed that eventually blossomed into a long partnership. Because of that first check, Barak received updates about the organization. As he learned more about it, he became more involved, and Barak

eventually became Magen David Adom’s Western Region President. Programming Setting goals and donating money were two of the biggest forces in the establishment of the Barak Raviv Foundation. Philanthropists (and us mere mortals alike) need to keep their sights set high in order to continue to grow and expand. Raviv, after years of being in the altruistic game, found himself contributing more and more each year. In 2005, Barak gave less than $10,000, but in 2014 (so far), he has donated nearly $100,000. He explained that “the goal keeps getting bigger,” speaking as if it does so on its own accord, but that’s probably just his modesty talking (#whataMENSCH). It’s clear that generosity is the driving force behind his increasing targets. He sets his sights high and keeps intentions pure. Sam Yebri, the President and co-Founder of 30 YEARS AFTER, describes Raviv as, "simply a force. Through his charm, deep rolodex, and own generosity, he has raised mountains of needed funds for numerous local and Israeli charities." Another crucial aspect, and a major challenge for Raviv, is balancing his philanthropic interest with personal interests. “I love the ability to give money to charity, but at the same time, I realize that it has taken away from personal pursuits… I would love to do both.” Despite this, Barak describes his only regret as not having begun sooner. He started the foundation when he was 31, but he states, “I wish I could have done it when I was in my twenties… I think I was just afraid.” His Giving Philosophy Barak makes sure that he establishes a special connection with each organization to which he donates. He is passionate about every cause with which he participates. His greatest driving force is the ability to see a difference, such as seeing children in Africa excited to have a new schoolhouse, or witnessing a new ambulance in Israel on the roads saving lives. Amongst his many philanthropic acts, in 2013 Barak dedicated a schoolhouse for 200 students in the Gebru Warka village of Ethiopia. Barak believes that one of the greatest virtues people can embody is to give more than they receive in this world. He describes it, however, as “a very difficult thing to do, because ever since we come into the world, we get and we get and we get. We’re born and our parents take care of us.” Most of us have families, an education, resources for finding jobs, etc., but not everyone is as fortunate. To be able to give back more than we’ve received seems like an impossible thing to do, but it’s an incredible goal. By keeping a grand vision, we can guarantee that we will keep striving to do more and give more.

Inspiring Others To Give When asked what he likes most about the work he has done with the Barak Raviv Foundation, he responded, “Being able to inspire others to give. I once donated $26,000 for a Magen David Adom ambulance in Israel and in doing so, helped raise another $76,000.” Later, Barak explained, “A woman who had been at my dedication ceremony 7 years ago came up to me and said that the event inspired her to donate an ambulance on her own. I get more satisfaction and happiness from being able to inspire others to donate than giving alone.” To Barak, one of the least exciting aspects of donating is writing the check, while the most enjoyable is being involved and seeing the money put to good use. He also enjoys meeting others who are like-minded and watching others give because they inspire him to continue to grow. Advice For Young Adults Barak emphasizes that you don’t need to be wealthy in order to give charity. There are people who are blessed with a lot of money but don’t donate; they just don’t have an interest to give. On the other hand, there are people who struggle financially themselves, but still find it in their budget to donate as much as possible. “There are various ways to give; it doesn’t have to involve monetary donations,” Barak explained. “You can volunteer, promote good causes on social media, or fundraise." Active fundraising is probably the best and easiest way to deliver funds to those in need. In doing so, young adults can match people who have a passion to help with organizations where their help is most needed. “You should not be afraid of making people resentful by asking for donations. Those who donate have personal reasons for doing so and are often thankful for the opportunity and reminder. People can give at any level and in any way. Giving is a healthy activity that makes one feel good and empowered.” Whats Next for Barak? Barak’s goal is to always “be able to do more.” He wants to build more schools, fund more ambulances, and do more to support Israel (Yebri wasn’t joking! He really is “a force”). He wants to effectuate change and to live long enough to see the fruits of his labor, because that is what fuels him to continue. Barak Raviv's pursuit for change in the world is apparent in his everyday actions. He stated, “There is not one day where I don't spend [time] on the foundation; there is always something to be done, from fundraising to writing grants." Incredible. This honorable mensch has his sights set high. It is fitting that Barak’s hobby is piloting aircraft; as a pilot he soars, reaching the sky, and there is no doubt that as a philanthropist he does the same.■

ISSUE #3

Melech (King)

WORDS OF WISDOM:

Jewish Thought

BY Kammy Eliasi

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Photo by: Brokenarts

he Hebrew word for King is (MeLeCH). According to ancient Hebrew wisdom, MeLeCH is an acronym for Moach (Brain), Lev (Heart), and Caved(Liver), in that order. An insight that can be gleaned from this order is that a true king is someone who first thinks and guides his actions by his intellect (Moach/ Brain), then by his emotions (Lev / Heart) and lastly by his physical desires (Caved/ Liver, is understood as the source of physical desires). Man, who has been dubbed the “King of beasts”, as the “ultimate homo sapien” (meaning “wise man” in Latin), and who has been made in the image of the ultimate Supreme, can and should allow his wisdom to guide his emotions. This hierarchy of priorities is also reflected in the vertical stance of our very design, with our brain being the highest part of our bodies, the heart below the brain, and the liver below them both. In contrast, in a four-legged animal’s body, the three are nearly on the same level. Thus, a person is “acting like an animal” when his mind can not exercise its authority over his

â&#x20AC;&#x153;As we go on everyday working in our jobs, or running our businesses or dealing with our family, spouses and partners, it will serve us well to remember what direction and hierarchy can help set us apart and transform us into kings and masters over our lives and daily dealings.â&#x20AC;? heart, and his physical desires triumph over his rational intellect and his emotions. The same ancient insight helps us understand the reverse. What happens when the word for king is read backwards and when one first acts with his Caved (physical desires) then with his Lev (emotion) and lastly with his Moach (intellect)? You get the word CLooM, which in Hebrew means a calamity or nothingness. A king can be absolutely great or absolutely disastrous simply depending on what guides him. As we go on everyday working in our jobs, or running our businesses or dealing with our family, spouses and partners, it will serve us well to remember what direction and hierarchy can help set us apart and transform us into kings and masters over our lives and daily dealings. Considering this new insight, we may now be able to shed some additional light on the holiday of Chanukah. This holiday has always been celebrated for the miracles

associated with it. However, it was also regarded as a pseudo philosophical victory over the Greeks who influenced the world as a primary world power. The Greek way of life and philosophy put heavy emphasis on all of the above components of MeLeCh. They attributed importance to philosophy and thought (Moach), emotions and art (Lev), and desires and beauty (Caved). This influence has continued even in our times, where each of the above areas are independently flourishing around us. Although the Greeks were successful in all of these categories independently, perhaps their mistaken ideology was that they attributed equal or disproportionate importance to them, and failed to connect any spiritual significance to them as an integrated whole. The Jewish ideology, on the other hand, believes in the need and importance of all of these areas in our lives, but instead puts emphasis on their correct order. It is through order and an overall spiritual significance of all three components of MeLeCh that light truly shines.â&#x2013;

ISSUE #3

The Wedding Made for the Guests BY Eman Esmailzadeh

s we all know, the weeks and months preceding any wedding are hectic and extremely stressful, but all too often the wedding hosts find themselves caught up worrying about and focusing on the guests instead of ensuring the joy of the bride and groom. The most common concerns in the days leading up to the wedding day have become, “What if we do not invite this person?”, “What if this person sits over there?”, “What will they think if we just have a DJ?” You don’t have to attend many weddings to realize that so much time and money has been spent to please the guests rather than the true stars of the evening. All too often the wedding night can become hi-jacked and turned into a circus, where the attendees are the focus and purpose of the entertainment, instead of the bride and groom. Did you know that we actually have a Jewish Law that states that we, as Jews, have a religious obligation to make the bride and groom joyous during their wedding?

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In fact, the Talmud tells us of the wrongs committed by someone who “benefits from the banquet of a bridegroom and does not bring him joy.” Conversely, we are told that if one does “bring joy [to a wedding] it is as if he has brought an offering in the Holy Temple!” It is clear from here that this a serious Mitzvah that should not be taken lightly. Just like we have an obligation to give charity to the poor and visit the sick, we have a religious and moral duty to make the couple as joyous as possible. This level of simple piety is a far cry from what we observe at many of the weddings in our community. Quite often, the hosts are obsessively worrying over what the guests will think and say to others after the day of the wedding. A stark contrast to these ‘guest-centered’ weddings can be seen at more traditional Jewish weddings. In such weddings, the majority of the dancing, literally, revolves around the bride and groom. In religious Ashkenazi weddings, it is customary for guests to wear entertaining costumes and perform tricks, such as juggling,

“My message to our community is that next time we help plan, attend or hear about an upcoming wedding, let us remember that night is for them, not us. Let’s dance with the intention to make them happy.”

break dancing, and fire eating, all in front of the bride and groom! To drive the point even more, there are even religious organizations dedicated to sending out volunteer ‘dancers’ to weddings that would otherwise have empty dance floors. Their sole purpose is to simply give the bride and groom as much joy as possible. Now I ask you: if complete strangers are willing to make the bride and groom happy, how much more so should we feel that level of responsibility when attending the wedding of a family member or friend! THE PROBLEM In my opinion the guests share the biggest responsibility in this shift of focus. I was once shocked when I overheard someone complaining to the host during the party that this particular caterer’s food was better at another wedding. You can even notice this self-absorbed mentality more subtly, where it is all too common to find guests, invited or not, clearly attending the wedding for

their own self-seeking pleasure with total disregard for the newlyweds. These guests can often be found spending the majority of their time at the bar as if they have come to some random night club or entertainment venue. It was heartbreaking when I had to console a newly married friend who felt that he had just made at least 20 enemies, all because some of his selfish guests were bothered about where they sat, or how some distant family were offended that they didn’t get an invitation. Since we want to be accepted in the community, we try harder and harder to cater to the guests’ selfish drive and make sure it is the most upscale, exciting and enjoyable wedding. In addition to dampening the the spirits, ‘guest-centered’ weddings take a huge toll on the wallets as well. The families are pressured to invite and impress so many people that the costs become overwhelming. So much so that it is all too common to find newly married couples forced into debt to finance a ‘socially acceptable’

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wedding. Now tell me, which sane couple would willfully start off their new lives in debt? Instead of starting a life full of hope and with a positive financial outlook on their future, they don’t even get to start their new lives with nothing, they start off even worse … literally less than zero! One may ask, what if a couple is wealthy and can afford to have an expensive, elaborate wedding, or better yet, what if they do not have the proper means for such a party, and yet they still desire it for themselves? To answer this question, like all such questions, we have to analyze the goals and intentions, and clearly know the purpose of our actions. If they are purely motivated for the joy and happiness of the new couple, and in reality it is what the bride and groom truly want, then of course, party away. But if they feel forced to spend extravagantly on a wedding that they don’t want with people they do not even know, they will have to learn to stand up for themselves. The tragic truth is that the older generation in the U.S. is so severely plagued by the desire for honor that I think it’s too late to change their flawed mentalities. It is up to us, the newer generation, to change this tarouf infested, judgmental, and honor-seeking society that we were born into. THE SOLUTION The responsibility of analyzing our intentions should not be left solely for the hosts, but for the guests as

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well. When we don’t get invited to a wedding and consequently feel disappointed, is our disappointment rooted in the fact that we truly love the bride and groom and we want so badly to be there for their joyous occasion? Or is it because we expected to be invited and our pride has been hurt? Because if it is the former, and we really do love them, then we should still be happy. There was a reason we were not invited — perhaps the wedding hall might be too small, or maybe they desired a smaller, cozier wedding. And after all, we want what is best for them, right? So ultimately our friendship will be tested when it is our turn to invite them to our joyous occasion; will we willfully invite them? Or will we find ourselves slaves to our bruised egos and pursue that sweet taste of revenge by excluding them from our celebration? In brief, my message to our community is that next time we help plan, attend or hear about an upcoming wedding, let us remember that night is for the bride and groom, not us. Let’s dance with the intention to make them happy. And more importantly, we should make sure to only be positive– whether the flowers cost $150,000 or if there were no flowers, whether we are seated right in the front, or we have no seat at all. Let us do our part to help guard against the extinguishing of the spark of the newly formed couple, and work towards adding fuel to the flame that will hopefully unite their souls for eternity.■

ISSUE #3

Things You should

BY Jennifer Saeedian

1. 2. 3. 4.

Blow out the candles Skip out on the fried food (Latkes) Mistake Jewish Gelt for a bad thingâ&#x20AC;Ś Sound out your words (or trust your spelling) 5. Think you are beyond alphabet games

1 2

4 5 3

Photos 3, 5: photos source wikipedia. Photo 6: photo source www.washingtontimes.com

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not Do On Channukah… Daily habits that don’t apply on these 8 days. Channukah, literally meaning “dedication”, is a meaningful holiday and a victory of the Israelites. While you gather with family and stuff your face with latkes, remember your history and enjoy every minute of it!■

6. Try to dance like Beyoncé 7. Stop yourself from singing, even if you’re tone-deaf 8. Buy individualized presents for the kids 9. Forget your [menorah] manners… 10. Doing it without understanding it.

ISSUE #3

Israel Today

Business Help from an Unlikley Source by abigail klein leichman

erusalem’s Issamar Ginzberg is a successful business strategist, marketing consultant and speaker who proves you can’t judge a book by its cover. Rabbi Issamar Ginzberg doesn’t claim to be a miracle-worker. He does not dispense blessings or amulets. The 34-year-old business strategist, marketing consultant, financial columnist and motivational speaker – and very visible Hasidic Jew — does, however, see a divine hand guiding his success. His Jerusalem- and New York-based consultancy is named It’s All From Above. “I can trace anything I’ve accomplished to other things I’ve done that weren’t moneymakers, and it all leads back to shamayim [heaven],” he says. His lecture at Google Tel Aviv on leveraging social media? His marketing workshop at Tel Aviv University? Both came out of connections from a lecture to members of the Israel Translators Association. His gig with the Jewish National Fund? That resulted from his work

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“What people pay me for is my understanding of how to apply principles of psychology in business, marketing and social media.” for communications consultant Gil Peretz, author of Obama’s Secrets. Ginzberg has clients in Egypt, Dubai, Italy, Japan, Australia and the Caribbean. He was voted one of Inc. Magazine’s Entrepreneurs of the Year in 2005. He’s advised politicians, corporate executives, nonprofits, startups and even a Hollywood movie studio. “What people pay me for is my understanding of how to apply principles of psychology in business, marketing and social media,” Ginzberg says. “Why can I teach someone how to make money on social media, which usually doesn’t lead to sales? I un-

derstand how to use it in a profitable way. I don’t mean to say I have superhuman powers or I’m psychic. It’s just that I understand what works, why it works and how to make it work.” Baked beans He not only has no psychic powers; he also has no secular schooling. Growing up in Brooklyn, he was educated in a Hasidic yeshiva and married at age 20. Shortly afterward, he went online to learn about business credit and became a guru on the topic. Under a pen name, he published an e-book, Business Credit Secrets. It sold well and led to some paying clients. “I backed into what I do — giving people advice on building credit, and then on marketing — and morphed into what I’m doing now,” he says. Now a Jerusalem Post columnist, Ginzberg is co-writing a book for a mainstream publisher under his real name. The rabbi’s entrepreneurial streak was evident as early as third grade, when he bought Boston baked beans at two for a nickel and sold them for 15 cents apiece. Over the years, he sold his yeshiva pals doughnuts, bagels, boxes of cereal, cans of soda. As a preteen, he came across a source of $199 used 386 computers. He bought some and resold each for $300. “My father said, ‘If you’re buying a bunch, ask for a discount,’ so I got them for $175 apiece and kept selling them locally for $300. That made me realize the power of classified ads,” says Ginzberg. He was among the first to capitalize on the concept of custom icons, creating a collection of 50 for free download through shareware. His product was featured on MIT’s hyper-archive disk, and he understood that offering a choice of icons for a small fee would look more professional and make him a few bucks. This experience taught him a critical lesson: “When you dangle a carrot, it makes a huge difference in conversions.” The summer he was 15, Ginzberg had his older brother schlepping to camp to bring him bagsful of checks accumulating in the mailbox at home. Novelty draws customers “As long as you know what you’re doing, you don’t need credentials,” he says. “People only want to make sure you’re not a scam artist, and you can prove that with testimonials and facts on the ground. If you have the goods, people will buy from you.” At a cousin’s bar mitzvah, young Ginzberg met someone who helped companies raise money. That person introduced him to a firm that hired him for a consulting job, which led to other consulting deals with small companies.

“People always assume the person who lives next door isn’t an expert at what he does. To people in New York I’m Israeli, and to people in Tel Aviv I’m a New Yorker.” By the time he was 20, Ginzberg was already an established businessman. In 2007, he and his wife and four-year-old son came to Israel for the High Holiday season “to recalibrate” after Ginzberg’s sister passed away. Essentially, they never returned. They now live in Jerusalem’s Hasidic Kiryat Sanz neighborhood with their four children. Ginzberg devotes his mornings to Talmud study and works American hours, traveling abroad frequently to clients and speaking engagements. Four years ago, he finished a special program at Jerusalem’s Ohr Somayach Education Center granting him rabbinic ordination, a teaching certificate and a bachelor’s degree. He is also a certified mohel (circumciser) and speaks English, Hebrew and Yiddish as well as a smattering of Hungarian and Russian. “Living here gives me the blessing of living my life the way I want to, and working on my own schedule,” he says. “Being here has blessed me in many ways.” Perhaps unexpectedly, his out-of-towner status has been good for business. “People always assume the person who lives next door isn’t an expert at what he does. To people in New York I’m Israeli, and to people in Tel Aviv I’m a New Yorker. The disconnect is the novelty that makes them interested in contacting me.” You could also say the novelty is getting business advice from a man in Hasidic garb. For more information, see www.issamar.com.■

ISSUE #3

Opinion

Is Gun Control The Answer? A faith Based perspective

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by Jonathan Delshad, Esq

Our generation lacks this basic skill. We are a generation of instant gratification, instant information, and 5 second commercials. Once we get taught in school that we are evolved animals, we become too busy to question the voice inside us that tells us it is not so.

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doubt that I’m the only one who looks at all of the random killing sprees going on around us and wonders, “what is going on with this society?” This year a resident of Santa Monica, gunman John Zawahri, 23, is believed to have set his father’s house on fire, then carjacked a woman on the street after firing several shots from a semi-automatic rifle into a bus. He then proceeded to Santa Monica College, where he continued shooting. He was shot in a firefight with police in the

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school’s library and died on the sidewalk outside. Four people were killed by Zawahri and many of our local community members were in the line of fire, if not immediately affected by what they saw. I personally know of two people who have been traumatized by seeing first-hand what happened at Santa Monica College. Growing up, it was rare to see or hear about killing sprees targeted toward random innocent people. I would remember hearing about gang violence or cer-

tain homicides in the news – like Nicole Simpson – but it was rare, very rare, to see people who would go on a rampage and slaughter people they didn’t know. Yet, it seems like every month we hear of another school shooting, theater shooting, workplace shooting, or other killing rampage. At any time, in any place, one could be a target for a bullet shot by some lunatic they never even knew. There seems to be such a callous disregard for the value of a human life. It’s as if these killers see no difference between taking a gun into a crowded library, theater, or school yard and killing a few dozen men, women and children than standing on an ant hill and stomping on ants as they walk out. How did we get here? What can we do about it? Perhaps the root of the problem is a failure of our generation to be able to tell the difference between a human and an animal. This generation is one that grew up with the idea of absolute “Darwinism” – the idea that humans are nothing more than ape-like formations that bumped around in the forest for tens of thousands of years until we shed some hair, started walking upright, and grew opposable thumbs. This type of logic, devoid of a Divine Creator, has resulted in a blurring of the line between humans and animals. If you take this theory to its logical conclusion, there is no reason why humans have civil rights and monkeys don’t. For someone who is a strict evolutionist without a Godly Lawgiver in the picture, there should be no reason why killing a human is any different or worse than killing an ant, a rat, or any other living organism. To such a person, when a lion kills a zebra, it is not “morally” wrong, and therefore, how can it be “morally” wrong to kill another human? It may defy societal norms, but such a person would be hard pressed to admit that there is some immutable, unchangeable moral standard. There seems to have been an attempt to teach our generation that a human is nothing more than an evolved animal. Because no scientific instrument can measure a soul, the assumption is that one does not exist – or if it does, it’s no different that the soul of an animal. With an understanding of this social ideology, we might now be able to explain why we have been seeing mass killings on what seems to be a frequent basis. When human life is seen as no different than that of a bug which they can squash with no remorse, then it is almost expected that such tragedies will continue to occur in our society. When a human kills another human and rationalizes his actions as “survival of the fittest”, it is a sign that something desperately wrong is happening. Sharpening the line between human and animal is one way to stop the senseless violence that is growing rampant in our society. One way of doing this is to spread the awareness that our Creator created us with

a soul, a purpose, and with love, and that we’re not just evolved monkey-like beings that happened to be. Our society must get back to an awareness of the value of human life. Unfortunately, accomplishing this goal is a long term solution that requires an awaking of the core conscious locked in each person. There is no scientific way of measuring a divine soul, but anyone who has spent the necessary time on introspection will know it exists. Our generation lacks this basic skill. We are a generation of instant gratification, instant information, and 5 second commercials. Once we get taught in school that we are evolved animals, we become too busy to question the voice inside us that tells us it is not so. When the drafters of the Bill of Rights added an amendment to the constitution protecting the right of citizens to bear arms, it was done with an understanding of the sanctity of life and an understanding of the difference between man and animal. The idea that a human is just another animal was as foreign to them as the tooth fairy, and therefore there was little harm in allowing citizens the right to bear arms and establish a militia to counteract tyranny and oppression. However, this same fact no longer exists. While it’s true that “guns don’t kill people; people kill people”, until there is a radical change in the psyche of our generation, it seems like the very least we can do to save ourselves from ourselves is to demand strong gun control laws. In my opinion, what happened in Santa Monica College is just one example of a certain form of depravity that will only get worse the more the root cause, the disregard of the sanctity of human life, is misunderstood. One solution is to take steps on a personal level. It is within us to recognize the differences among us and take responsibility for our place in this world. We need to recognize the Creator and ask what is wanted of us, and then fulfill that mission.■

ISSUE #3

Façade

FACEBOOK

BY Tina Javaherian, ESQ

“Viewing somebody’s profile does not actually tell you what that person is like, but what they want the public to believe they are like.”

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ow much time do you spend on Facebook? A recent Business Week study found that every month, Americans spend an average of over twenty hours on the social networking site. In some respects, social media sites such as Facebook and Instagram have proven to be invaluable tools to disseminate information and share with loved ones. Social media has become instrumental in organizing events, fundraising, and helping to effectuate social change. But how much of these twenty hours a month are we spending furthering such noble causes? Most of us have seen posts ridiculing those who are always looking down at their phones. Many of us “like” these posts and can relate to the feeling of trying to spend time with someone who’s actually spending time with their phone. But despite acknowledging this flaw in society, we continue to perpetuate it. A friend of mine posted a commentary about people’s tendency to always stare at their phones. A couple of days later, this same friend scrolled through her Instagram while we were at a party. Her hypocrisy demonstrates that her habit may actually be an addiction. Our obsession with social media is twofold. First, we have a compulsion to check our social media sites - to observe and always be in the know of what our closest 754.5 friends are up to. Second, we want to share our own posts with all of those friends. What effect does it have on us to spend forty minutes per day scrolling through pictures of vacations, gourmet steaks, margaritas, and smiling friends? To understand the effect, we must first consider the reason. The compulsion to check Facebook and Instagram is in part due to the fear of missing out - wanting to be aware of the happenings in our community. We scroll through our newsfeeds to quench this curiosity. In doing so, we fail to realize that Facebook and Instagram are hardly accurate portrayals of reality. People only post pictures of their happy moments - moments that they want to publicly share. The pictures of

gourmet meals far outnumber the pictures of ordinary ones, despite the opposite ratio in reality. Taken together with photos of the beach, photos of friends dressed up, and check-ins at the airport, one will be led to believe their life is unusually unremarkable. Not only are happy moments disproportionately represented, but many of those pictures are not even accurate depictions of moments they purport to capture. People “check-in” at clubs to which they were denied access, pose with drinks that are not theirs, and dance only for the 30 seconds it takes to get the perfect dancing shot. Viewing somebody’s profile does not actually tell you what that person is like, but what they want the public to believe they are like. Not surprisingly, this phenomenon of comparing one’s life to the exaggerated depictions of others’ leads to depression and a decrease in self worth. Interestingly, a method by which people cope with this devaluation is to document glamorous moments themselves and share them in an effort to fit in and attract “likes,” which have become a quantification of validation. This urge to share feeds back into a cyclic pattern. Our urge to share on social media is also fueled by the fact that an experience is more enjoyable when shared with others. This notion rings truest when sharing a moment with somebody next to you, such as two people watching a sunset together. The joy in sharing also applies, albeit to a lesser extent, when sharing photos of an experience with individuals with whom you maintain meaningful relationships. An example is a mother who sends a picture of her newborn to her family abroad. Social media has become a shortcut by which people attempt to attain this feeling. However, sharing on such a wide scale diminishes the value and intimacy in sharing. Oversharing on social media has contorted the concept of sharing with loved ones and evolved into a tool for self-promotion. Even when a publisher has pure intentions, a post may nevertheless elicit jealousy or judgment. Why do people post pictures while on vacation? They have seen numerous vacation posts from their friends and may have the need to conform, or even, compete. Facebook and Instagram posts, as well as the “likes” thereof, have become vessels for validation. Some genuinely do not feel an experience is valuable unless they can publish it. “Picture or it didn’t happen.” Many times, the first thing somebody does when encountering a scenic site is to put their back towards it and look for somebody to take a picture of them, or alternatively, take a selfie. Go to any concert and you will see a sea of cameras - people holding up their phones to record performances. There is no logical reason for this other than to communicate to others that they were present at this event. They cannot all actually believe they have a better vantage point than the professional videographers

who record performances for broadcast. Nor would it make sense for them to uncomfortably hold up their arm while recording the performance so as to be able to watch on a screen later, for the first time. Similarly, many parties have become more about taking pictures than about celebrating. Undoubtedly, these posts attract “likes,” ratifying the posts, and reinforcing the behavior. What is the purpose of writing on somebody’s wall? For somebody to write, “Your graduation party was a blast! Thanks again!” is not to actually thank that person. There are avenues to do that privately. Their purpose possibly subconsciously - is to broadcast that they are communicating with that person; to publicize that they were invited and to send a message about their social status. To be fair, there are also useful and positive purposes for wall-posts, such as posting something entertaining that other friends might enjoy. Another oft-overlooked social media phenomenon is that of advertisements. Not the commercial ones appearing on our newsfeeds, but photoshopped pictures of people in pounds of makeup, wearing either formal gowns or bathing suits. To be fair, “advertising” oneself has its purpose if you are single and hoping to attract somebody. But contemplate what you want to be noticed for prior to posting such images. Do you want somebody to be attracted to you based on a picture depicting you as you hardly look in your day-to-day life? Or do you want to be appreciated for your natural smile, your interests, your personality, and your goals? This article is not meant to criticize those who have used social media in these ways. I myself am guilty of many of the same actions. This is written with the intent to encourage us all to be mindful of our reasons for using social media. Next time you want to post something, contemplate the purpose for sharing it. Is it a funny joke that will make people laugh? Is it to spread the word of your uncle’s great restaurant? Is it to inform people of something important happening in the world? If you cannot think of a productive reason, then question whether it is to make yourself feel important or to brag. Social media is a powerful tool that can bring much positivity to our lives. Reconnecting with friends, organizing events, keeping in touch, sharing memories, educating people, and raising involvement with charities. But when abused, social media has the potential to bring depression, jealousy, distraction, and a contorted expectation of life. Next time you post, consider whether you would feel sad if it received no “likes.” If so, what does that tell you about the reason for which you are posting it? Is it out of a genuine desire to communicate something to your friends, or something else? When you encounter a beautiful site and feel compelled to take a selfie, take it in and enjoy it for a moment first.■

ISSUE #3

Our Generation’s Attitude Towards Intermarriage

BY Eyal Aharonov, ESQ

ntil recently, intermarriage was mostly a thing they did, referring to those “shameful” second and third generation American Jews deeply entrenched in Americana, seemingly forgetting where they came from. Today, in an ever-evolving social and dating landscape, the debate around Jewish intermarriage has surfaced among first-generation American Jews in our community - and in order to understand the phenomenon, we have to face the facts. As with any social movement which sets apart generations, there is a paradigm shift in attitude. Divorce, for example, has been ripping through the community as a silver bullet and as an indictment of multiple loaded issues that the community seems ill-equipped to tackle - parental involvement in dating and marriage, financial expectations, gender equality, and struggling with an old-fashioned dynamic. The result has not been so encouraging, as the current generation’s divorce rate far exceeds that of the previous generation, regardless of the increasing freedom in modern dating. One thing we did know growing up, and which provides the apropos segue into the discussion of intermarriage, is that, much like divorce was taboo, so was intermarriage. Unfortunately, as we’ve seen over the last decade, taboos can be destigmatized with an adequate distraction. I will posit that the distraction de jour is actually not ill-conceived or intentional - it simply comes down to our generation’s difficulty in discerning the difference between a virtue and a value - and that’s because traditionalism is dying. THE CAUSE: THE SHELF-LIFE OF TRADITIONALISM When waves of immigration brought thousands of Jews from traditional Sephardic backgrounds Stateside, parents unfamiliar with the landscape of America were faced with crucial decisions relating to Jewish continuity, namely education.

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Our parents’ generation and every single generation before them had an instinctual foundation of traditionalism that carried them through their lifecycles and milestones - it was the glue that kept their communities together. The lack of a formal Jewish education did not impact their knowledge or pride because of how tightly-knit their societies were. They almost never had the chance to be distracted by, exposed to, or to seamlessly be a part of, a society with competing values prior to marriage. Accordingly, they adhered to traditional values and virtues. Even when new norms developed around them, pride in traditionalism invariably allowed them to develop and identify virtues, utilizing that self-knowledge during their adulthood. As a result, those in the community could rely on the efficacy of traditionalism. Throughout this generation, as our parents continued to explore their own freedom that came without fear, they relied on their deep sense of traditionalism to provide the tools to educate us about Judaism at home. However, a nuanced distinction between what it meant to be “traditional” then and now has surfaced a very real challenge - does our modern interpretation of, and adherence to culture have to include Judaism? THE EFFECT: THE EXPIRATION DATE OF TRADITIONALISM The key distinction, and arguably our communal obligation, is determining what role Judaism had in the traditionalism of generations past versus the role it plays in our current generation, and why it impacts our ability to choose a life partner. See, back then, the inherent divide placed between Jews living in a country that treated them differently made it nearly impossible to extract the Judaism from

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traditions, and thus choosing traditional Jewish values invariably meant choosing a lifestyle comprised of Jewish virtues. We often remember our grandparents and cherish our parents, considering them role models, for their virtues: unwavering loyalty to family, their steadfastness when dealing with adversity, and their seemingly endless faith and spirituality which allowed them to build an incredible larger-than-life legacy. When you couple that with a large taboo placed on intermarriage, you can understand why our parents rested their laurels on the power of traditionalism - and accordingly, wagered the future of Judaism in America. Today, our community’s career pursuits invariably extend the time by which we are exposed to society at large. Thus, the traditions we were taught or brought up on seem more cultural, far-removed and voluntary, and increasingly less likely to be at the forefront of our minds when making life decisions. For our parents, being cultural came with Judaism - it was one in the same - there was no selectivity for the want of convenience. To illustrate the rate by which our community has been affected so far in just one generation, think about kashrut and the rates by which our community currently observes it. Through high school in the early 2000s, the majority of my Jewish peers kept most laws of kashrut, likely the result of their traditional upbringing. If you asked them why, they would likely say something to the effect of “I don’t know - that’s just the way I was raised in my culture.” It is nearly indisputable that traditional Jewish teenagers today keep fewer laws of kashrut just a decade later - and that is because their culture is more influenced by America. Even if the parents are upset by their children opting out of cultural norms, they have no clear and convincing reason to dispute their children’s

Today, in an ever-evolving social and dating landscape, the debate around Jewish intermarriage has surfaced among first-generation American Jews in our community - and in order to understand the phenomenon, we have to face the facts.

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ISSUE #3

choices, because, at a similar age, they likely didn’t know why it mattered either. The “why” is the crux of it all, and is directly linked to the almost-predictable decline of prioritizing Judaism later in life. If you don’t know why, why do it? THE FUTURE: DISCOVERING THE WHY Growing comfortable with exercising selectivity in both your Jewish observance and cultural attachment has a hidden danger when choosing your mate. Turning traditionalism from a lifestyle into a cultural influence (potentially one of many influences) means that we can’t really depend on it as an accurate predictor of compatibility. So, when you seem to be connecting because you have had a similar upbringing or cultural influence, that doesn’t necessarily equal compatibility or even a compatible set of values, because it is no longer a lifestyle one commits to out of necessity. As we have now seen during a generation of assimilation, norms shift quickly. As the freest generation in Jewish history, we must utilize the freedom to answer what our ancestors seemingly did innately: “Why is Jewish continuity important?” Even if you staunchly believe that the lack of freedom previous generations had meant they had no choice but to marry among themselves, and would choose differently if presented with the opportunity, ask yourself what that would mean and answer from a position of knowledge. More importantly, ask yourself if your version would stand the test of time. Judaism, even culturally, has historically required reinvestment throughout life. Chances are that, if the last time you invested in Judaism was when you were pubescent, you will likely prioritize what you have invested in more recently when gauging compatibility - your education, career, etc. With your life evolving over time, what are your constants? It certainly isn’t your salary, your family’s status, the car you drive or the looks you have. DATING WITH THE WHY IN MIND The mainstream success of American Jews allots us the freedom to be fully integrated in today’s society, certainly in pop culture. The recent publicized nuptials produce tabloid sensations and a strange sense of accomplishment that we have somehow arrived. A real estate tycoon’s daughter, a former president under the chuppah, the new Asian queen of all social networks - wow, they want in? Pride sets in. As much recent mainstream success as American Jews have had, you should remember that most historical anti-Semitism is based in Jewish world domination conspiracy theories - so it’s nothing new. The bedrock of that reputation comes from the identification of, and fascination with, timeless Jewish virtues.

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The new climate of selective cultural adherence should be a welcomed opportunity and should encourage us to dig further beneath the surface.

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When our parents dated for marriage, they didn’t have access to as many indicators of potential as we do - most of the women were still teenagers. What people mostly relied on were virtues - traditional virtues. Think about that for a second - Jews are arguably the most impactful nation the planet has ever seen, and we built it on Jewish virtues first - professional suffixes and prefixes were not first priorities. It seems that modern dating success is predicated on what you are - not who you are. Accordingly, our generation judges compatibility on fleeting bullet points, not characteristics and virtues developed over a lifetime. The new climate of selective cultural adherence should be a welcomed opportunity and should encourage us to dig further beneath the surface. Without compensating for assimilation, it seems that we’ll lose the inherited ability to choose a mate, like the hundreds of generations before us, and we will invariably create a gap in our quest for being an indispensable piece of Jewish continuity. It seems as though the expiration date of traditionalism has arrived - and that isn’t necessarily a terrible thing. Take the time to answer the tough questions for yourself and to identify your Jewish virtues and lead with those first - trust me, it’s a lot more fascinating, and predictive of compatibility, than being on a date with just another “young professional” :).■

ISSUE #3

Career Corner

Factors For Success Inspired by Tech Entrepreneur Jason Reuben

BY Ashley Kohanarieh

awyers and doctors and dentists (Oh, my!). Our community is filled with people who have all sorts of professions (fine, so mostly those three and “real estate”). But let’s face it, they’re all businesses at heart, and everyone wants theirs to be a million dollar business, right? Well, we picked the brain of Jason Reuben, 29-year-old serial entrepreneur and philanthropist, so we could learn by example. He co-founded Gemvara (formerly Paragon Lake) while still in college, and by the time he was 21, he was named one of BusinessWeek’s Top 5 Entrepreneurs Under the Age of 25. Gemvara, a 60 million dollar venture backed, online custom jewelry retailer (try to say that ten times fast!), is only one of the businesses founded by Reuben. His most current project is with Lucky Group (formerly BeachMint). What do you really need in order to become a successful entrepreneur (besides for a kick-“tush” business plan, of course)? There’s no guarantee, but after learning about Jason Reuben, I found a few guidelines for success, and they apply to everyday life just as much as business. The Environment “Everyone in life has a journey,” said Reuben, “you know when you hit it. For me it was Babson College.” Reuben co-founded his first major success, Gemvara, in his Babson dorm room. He concedes with Entrepreneur Magazine as they dubbed Babson College as the number one school for entrepreneurship 19 years in a row. “The physical environment inspired me,” he said about Babson. Jason’s mission is to use technology, data to be more specific, to better the lives of others, and studying at Babson led him to that calling. “Everyone is going to have their own calling,” said Reuben, and he recommends that each person find his or her unique path (some people

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only hear money calling, though). Surrounding oneself with people who are wiser, more hardworking, and more creative provides inspiration to be better. Reuben drew inspiration from those around him— professors, peers, experienced entrepreneurs, and his father. “My father inspired me [to get my Bachelors in Entrepreneurship],” said Reuben, “He always wanted to support himself.” Too much comfort can stunt growth, but passion leads people to work with more vigor than they imagined possible; it’s the fuel behind success. The Support System Having a proper support system is vital for success. Family, peers, and mentors were prodigious elements throughout Reuben’s interview. His freshman professor, Len Green, taught him the importance of honoring his parents’ legacy. Reuben’s parents were in the Jewelry industry, and they helped both inspire and facilitate Gemvara. “We are very fortunate in our community to have supportive parents,” said Reuben. He once approached Professor Green, impassioned with an idea— the diamond belt. “It was stupid,” he reminisces, but Green wrote him a $20,000 check to invest without question. The professors were personally invested in their students (pun intended). Their mentorship was very power-

ful in Reuben’s eyes, and it’s clear why Babson was such a significant experience for him. Even his classmates contributed to each other’s success. Support systems allow people to carry a lighter load on their shoulders, to take more risks, which could lead to a higher payoff, and to develop to their maximum potential. The Attitude Make your mistakes define you. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Besides for being a cliché, that motto stands true, and it seems Jason Reuben would agree. “Don’t be afraid to fail… failing is a part of life. You grow, ask questions, and get humbled by it,” said Reuben, who admits that he “could have done a million things better.” One example Reuben gave was a newspaper company he had started that ended up, as he called it, “a complete disaster.” Humans, by definition, make mistakes—and they sometimes repeat those same mistakes over and over—but the real failure is letting those moments pass without learning and growing from them. Don’t worry; be happy (cue reggae music). Happiness, “that’s what life is all about,” according to Reuben. “I wake up every day thanking G-d; there hasn’t been a day I woke up unhappy--and if there is, I would have to take a minute to reset” he said. Sounds like the dream to me. But it’s not just because of his success. Happiness is a choice. To wake up everyday positive and thankful takes strength in character, not just auspicious circumstances. (If Negative Nancy had everything in the world, she would still wake up thinking about every way her life sucks). Please note the humility Reuben epitomizes when recognizing that everything is a blessing from G-d, and not solely his own doing. Leave some things for G-d to handle! When we believe that our success in life depends solely on our actions, we don’t leave any room for G-d to help out. It applies to everything, from business to dating (c’mon, you know I had to throw dating in here somehow). Do your best and leave the rest up to Him. Keep moving forward. Despite several booming businesses under his belt, our inspiration, Jason, said that he still has “a long way to go.” He continues to look ahead and seems to avoid complacency. Reuben’s current project, The Lucky Group, is a joint venture between publishing giant Conde Nast and e-commerce fashion company BeachMint, for which Reuben is currently the Vice President of Operations. Reuben certainly feels lucky working with Diego Berdakin, Greg Steiner, and Josh Berman, whom he described as “dream mentors”. “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars,” sorry for more clichés, but it seems Reuben aimed high and didn’t stop there. Dreaming big is the only way people can get “big.” Makes sense, no? Give back. When asked what his most significant project has been so far, Reuben mentioned that by the

“I wake up every day thanking G-d; there hasn’t been a day I woke up unhappy--and if there is, I would have to take a minute to reset.” time he is 35 years old, he wants to be an adjunct professor at Babson College. He also mentors and guides younger entrepreneurs; he’s all about giving back to the community. About his work in the Jewish community, Reuben humbly said, “It’s our obligation… we must give back.” Passionate about the subject, he continued, “Our immigrant parents have given so much to us, so we should be giving back the love and energy to everybody.” Most importantly, though, is that he’s giving back in a personal way, with his time and expertise, and not just by throwing money at the community. Even in school, he attracted classmates with the same value of community work: Matt Lauzon, Cristina Acevedo, and Daniel Marques played a significant role in his life, and they encouraged each other to be involved with various organizations. Using one’s unique strengths to better the world is the most fulfilling form of helping others, and some might argue that it is the actual purpose of life. It no doubt contributes to the strict “be happy” policy stated above. The Work Ethic Finally, be prepared to pay your dues (work it!). It takes time and energy to do something right. Nothing lasting happens overnight—easy come easy go. Reuben started out with an hourly wage as a box boy, then moved on to working on another company’s website, and has had companies that didn’t take off quite as well as Gemvara and BeachMint, but he worked, and still works, to build the proper foundation to make those companies last. Jason Reuben is an inspiration in more ways than one, and he gave us a true formula for success. I’ll leave you with one final cliché: “Only a fool learns from his own mistakes [or experiences]. The wise man learns from the mistakes [and experiences] of others.”■

ISSUE #3

Dating and Relationships

The Biophysiology of Love and Sexuality: Why We Feel What We Feel BY David Issever

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“Scientists have shown with neuroimaging techniques that a strong romantic interest is as powerful as cocaine, as delicious as your favorite food, as refreshing as an irresistibly quenched thirst and as rewarding as a big monetary payday.”

n this survey, we’ll attempt to understand what goes on inside our bodies when we feel romantic love. This will get divided into two categories, new love and long-lasting love. A comparison with parental love, the love for one’s child, will be assessed. Hopefully, this will provide us with insight into the differences between what causes us to feel love towards our romantic interest compared to love for our children. We’ll conclude with what goes on in the minds of men and women during physical intimacy. Parental Love vs. Romantic Love Scientists have shown with neuroimaging techniques that a strong romantic interest is as powerful as cocaine, as delicious as your favorite food, as refreshing as an irresistibly quenched thirst and as rewarding as a big monetary payday. Interestingly, a study out of London has shown that particular areas of the brain are “inactive,” or turned off when people attune to their romantic interests. People in the study who were “in love” lost the ability to be judgmental and critical of the behaviors and habits of their partner. The part of brain that allows us to evaluate trustworthiness in others was also suppressed. Neurobiologically, indeed it seems, “Love is Blind.” This is why it is often difficult to see faults in our partners or even in our children. Scientists have found that our love for our romantic partners and children activate different parts of our brains associated with “feeling good.” For example, the area of the brain mediating sexual arousal is only active by our love for our romantic interests. On the other hand, areas associated with facial recognition, the ability to notice changes in facial appearance, are primarily active by images and thoughts of our children. Some suggest this is because the way we relate to our children is through observing how they grow. We shep nachas, derive pleasure, in taking note of their every transformation. This also implies our brains aren’t expecting transformations, facially, in our lovers, lending credence to the monogamy model of relationships. That is, when engaged in romantic love, the brain is expecting a consistent “face of love,” as demonstrated by the deactivation of this facial recognition region. However, love for our children elicits activity in the facial recognition region of the brain, which is active in tandem with our “feel good” associated brain regions, allowing us to derive extreme benefit from merely observing their bodily, facial, and behavioral transformations. Many believe that even the strongest romantic relationships always hold an element of being conditional, whereas the parental-child relationship remains unconditional. There are regions of the brain that allow us to perceive that our partner understands the loving ges-

tures we make towards them and further, is able to reciprocate that love. These regions are constantly active when engaged in a romantic relationship, suggesting it is important for us to sense that our feelings and romantic intentions be understood by our romantic partner in order for the love to thrive, continue, and last. In relation to our children, the contrast is quite great. These regions of the brain that allow us to perceive that our partner understands our gestures of love and care are suppressed or at best weakly activated. This implies that our love for our children isn’t dependent upon their reciprocation of our feelings or their understanding of our love towards them. When it comes to our children, neurologically, we love them unconditionally, because even though they struggle to grasp our intended emotional actions towards them, it doesn’t stop us from loving them. The Neurobiology of Attraction What brings two people together in the first place? Chemicals in the brain, one of which is called serotonin, coined the “pleasure hormone”, was actually found to be at low levels in the initial stages of attraction, while levels of anxiety were found to be high. Serotonin breeds mental calmness and reduces our propensity to feel attraction, albeit, initially. In Italy, a study outlined that the combination of low serotonin levels and high anxiety lead to a “falling in love” feeling, one where the process of “fawning” begins. Anxiety breeds focused attention, obsession, and intense mental focus on a lover, all being key features of attraction. I would like to suggest that this focused attention that lasts on average for two years, blocking out attention and desire from all other potential suitors, lends evidence, at least neurobiologically that we are built to be monogamous. In Italy, the researchers further showed a strong difference between men and women early on in a relationship versus later in a relationship. Early on, men who are really in love, with strong feelings for their new romantic interests are found to “soften” up, becoming more sensitive, emotionally vulnerable, and empathetic. This is due to a small drop in the masculinizing chemical in their body, testosterone. Women, on the other hand, experience a rise in this same chemical early on in a romantic relationship, which assists in enhancing their sexual drive and sexual attraction for their partner. Later on, males in a long-lasting relationship were found to have higher than baseline levels of testosterone, whereas females returned to baseline. This suggests that if men want to feel like “a man” then one might appropriately recommend a long-lasting committed relationship. Researchers in Berlin and New York wanted to understand: what makes us feel pleasure and bonded to those we love? Two chemicals in the brain, predomi-

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nantly active at different times during a relationship, are implicated in eliciting bonding with another person, thus appropriately nicknamed “bonding hormones.” Early on in a romantic relationship, levels of stress and anxiety are high and this triggers the release of the first of these hormones, oxytocin. Oxytocin first gives us a rushed “pleasurable” feeling, a feeling of being bonded to the person, and then has a secondary effect of lowering our anxiety, giving us a calm feeling. First we feel bonded, connected, and attached to someone, and then we feel a sense of calm. Experientially, many attribute their closeness to someone in a relationship as being the reason for their calm affect, which eventually sets in. Now we see a neurobiological basis for this phenomenon as well. In long-lasting, strong, secure relationships, a second hormone called vasopressin is predominantly active, allowing us to continue to feel close and bonded to our partner even well after the “fawning” or “falling in love” period. Vasopressin was shown to ensure pair bonding and devotion to one’s partners. Neurobiologically speaking, stress and anxiety below a certain threshold is seen as a good thing in a relationship because it elicits the “bonding hormone.” If closeness induces good feelings, then distance in a relationship can be very painful. There are times people describe actual pain when in poor relationships. People speak of feeling hurt physically and emotionally when they sense a lack of connection or bonding with their romantic interest. Along these lines, researchers in Sweden found that pain syndromes, such as fibromyalgia, are linked to low levels of oxytocin. Low levels of stress can lead to low levels of oxytocin, and low levels of oxytocin can be indicative of emotional pain, by reduced pair bonding, and physical pain. It appears anxiety is the catalyst for a euphoric feeling experienced in “young love,” as it triggers a “bonding hormone” to keep us bonded with our partners to create lasting love. An associated response to intense stress can be seen in women just after undergoing the labor of ultimate giving, childbirth. A mother appears to fall in love instantly, postpartum, with the baby she bore. Researchers found that there are high levels of oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” in a mother right after childbirth. All of this is in concert with the incredible stress that was just experienced by the mother through her labor pains. Often within hours after a birth, a calming sensation washes over a mother; oxytocin rushes through the mother’s body attaching her to the experience and her baby, and acts to suppress much of the stress response. Physical Intimacy in Men and Women Physical bonding creates as much, if not more, neurological reactions to be examined. The first kiss gathers a

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wealth of information about a potential partner. The exchange of information happens via one’s olfactory sense, tactility, postural position, and of course, the caressing of the paired lips. Kissing causes one’s blood pressure and pulse to increase, pupils to dilate, breathing to deepen, all the while reducing stress for both sexes. Kissing stimulates oxytocin release in men to excite and stimulate our desire for more. In females, however, oxytocin does not rise and sometimes depreciates during a kiss, suggesting that women need “other things,” such as a more romantic atmosphere. Gender differences evolved about the meaning of a kiss. For most men, a deep kiss is largely a way of advancing to the next level sexually. For women, kissing reveals the extent to which a partner is willing to commit to a good long-term relationship and child rearing. Physical interaction begs the mention of sex. There are stark differences between the brain activities of a man and a woman experiencing sexual climax, by orgasm. Men experience heightened brain activity; a euphoria and level of pleasure similarly seen in heroin or opiate use while in a state of orgasm. Men start “thinking” a lot after they climax and orgasm. Men attain an expansive mind opening moment, presented with an opportunity to think critically and broadly. Women by contrast have a lot of decreased activity in the brain during a post-orgasmic sexual climax. Much of the brain goes silent for women during an orgasm, especially the parts of the brains responsible for governing moral reasoning and social judgment, as well as the parts responsible for eliciting worry or fear. Women literally shut everything out allowing them to be fully invested in the moment with nothing else to distract. Women intensely feel every sensation throughout their body, while maintaining synchronous motion with their partner. Men, on the whole, have hyperactive brains in a state of orgasm, whereas women experience a quieting of the mind, having all fears subside. In summary, attraction in a romantic relationship is catalyzed early on by a degree of anxiety, which causes an individual to be focused on his/her lover. The focused attention eliminates other distracting suitors and a bonding begins to form. This bonding brings with it a sense of calm. The calmness seduces us into feeling utterly secure about the relationship. Sexually, in a state of orgasm, men experience an expansiveness of the mind, with increased thinking. Women during orgasm, conversely, experience a quieting of the mind, facilitating intense sensitivity for their body’s feelings in the moment with suppression of fear, anxiety and social judgment. It is my hope that you now better understand the neurobiological associations of love and sex.■

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ISSUE #3

Photo by: Immchris

BY Rodney Rabbani

Question of the Day

n an endeavor to create awareness within our community, and obtain a broad range of perspectives on various topics, the “Question of the Day” (QOTD) was born. The QOTD made its debut on Facebook on July 9th, 2014. It all began one morning when I simply had a question: “Your significant other bought you a new belt, but you think it’s terribly ugly. What do you do?” Genuinely wanting to know other people’s perspective, I turned to Facebook, our number one social media network. I was astounded at the positive reception from people from all walks of life, as well as the number of responses I was getting. Initially, many believed that I was just simply curious to know the different ways people would behave given a hypothetical scenario. That wasn’t it. My goal was to understand what motivates each person to think and feel

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the way that they do. Today, QOTD has seen tremendous success, illustrating that reasonable minds can differ significantly in their perspectives. Playing devil’s advocate encourages people to think outside the box, and see a situation through a different point of view. In many cases, there are no right or wrong answers. There are simply different outlooks that stem from each individual’s core beliefs and values. Everything is based upon personal experience and perspective. This question was asked October 2nd, 2014 at 1:00 PM Pacific Standard Time: “Is it acceptable for a woman to pursue a man (ex. Facebook request or message, ask for number, etc.)? Or is it a sign of desperation? Why, or why not?” Of the 140 responses, here are a few…

The first one is from Hana Doustar: “Personally, I think all girls should get back to their lady roots and stop playing the aggressive role. I think men have gotten a bit comfortable...in many many areas...” She went on to say…. “…[A] man/woman’s biology is constructed in a certain way, especially in regards to chemical releases. I don’t think denying our biology is the “wisest” way for society to progress…” And followed with… “Divorce rates are high because people marry for the wrong reasons. This is a new phenomenon, and maybe started when women began pursuing men!” I can see where Hana is coming from. From my understanding, a woman wants to feel safe and secure. I’ve learned that a man’s gesture to approach a woman shows confidence, direction, motivation, and determination, all of which are qualities that show strength, and feelings of security. However, I don’t believe this means that a woman cannot pursue a man and show interest. Here is another response from David Massaband: “I think it’s not only acceptable [for a woman to pursue a man], but

“

it earns brownie points with me. It’s nice to know a girl is into you. As long as the guy doesn’t think that she is doing this to too many guys. Even a guy likes to feel like he is “special” in some way. He doesn’t want to think she is messaging any guy in desperation. The guy usually can tell if it is the former or the latter…” He followed up by explaining... “There is a big difference between a girl ‘messaging a guy on Facebook asking for a number’, as Rodney had written in his question, and a full-on pursuit by the girl... I don’t expect nor want the girl to say ‘hey how about I pick you up at 8 pm tomorrow night and treat you to dinner and buy you drinks!’ The guy still should have the role of asking the girl out most of the time, paying, opening the car door, picking her up most of the time, etc. All we are talking about is the girl letting us know she is interested. And I don’t see any harm in her messaging for example saying, ‘Hey Joe Shmoe you’re cute and seem to be a nice guy. We should hang out sometime.’ If that should happen, then there is nothing wrong with it because the guy will still do the rest and pursue anyways!” Typically, men seek to feel important. Confidence can fuel the average man’s ability to reach his

full potential in many aspects of his life. David’s response is simple-- if men have the green light from a woman, they will make an attempt to pursue her if the attraction is mutual. Guys, this doesn’t mean that you should sit back and wait for a girl to give you obvious signals. By the same token, ladies, don’t feel hesitant to give men the signal. Believe it or not, some men and women are oblivious to the subtle hints that the opposite gender may try to give. In my opinion, when the average male pursues a woman and is successful, this will yield feelings of confidence that will play out positively in the relationship. A confident man creates the feeling of trust with a woman. He will be more open to give her that security, whether it be emotional, physical, or financial.■

Playing devil’s advocate encourages people to think outside the box, and see a situation through a different point of view. In many cases, there are no right or wrong answers.

”

ISSUE #3

Love and Hate: What Are You Really Trying To Say?

by Raymond Nourmand, Ph.D.

ove is a powerful concept we are all drawn to. It makes us belong and feel whole, it gives us the sense we are complete, and have everything we need. When in a state of love, everything seems beautiful because deep down we are seeing ourselves as beautiful. As creatures of projections, the truth is that what we see in others is not merely a reflection of them, but also a glimpse into us. We see in others what we see in ourselves. That’s why when we are in a feeling

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of “love” or “utter bliss,” it’s so easy for us to give to others. Our giving is emanating from a core that feels it has been given to so bountifully. Once there, it’s only natural that we want to give back in a very real way. When we think of love, many of us are quick to contrast it with hate. We think the two are fundamentally different because they seem to lead us to noticeably different places. After all, one makes us feel good about who we are, while the other really bad. One brings out

“The more we understand who we are, what we want, and where we want to go, the more love and hate cease to exist as separate, and the more they become one.” the best in us, whereas the other the worst. One makes us feel cherished and cared for, the other small and insignificant. However, the two are not so different. At the core, hate is not what it looks like. Hate is not about hurting others, it’s not about bringing down others, and it’s not about trying to overpower others because we think “they deserve it.” It’s about us, and what we’re trying to communicate, but appear to have difficulty doing so in the heat-of-the-moment. Hate is our defense in times of passion, an expression of our own frustration in not being able to face what we really feel inside. In reality, what we’re usually looking for is connection. In our reactivity, we’re really trying to reconnect with ourselves and that person we say we hate. We might be feeling hurt, frustrated, or scared by what they’ve said or done, but deep down we just want to be acknowledged. We want to feel a part of. We want to feel like we matter. Inside, we are so moved by them, we care so much about them, that how they treat us influences us in a striking way. We want things to work out, we want there to be peace, we want there to be harmony. Yet, on some level we also know that to really get there, we will have to take that risk of showing who we are. We will have to admit that we have been affected by them, and that they matter to us. Often getting in touch with this part of ourselves can make us feel so uncomfortable and overwhelmed that usually we prefer to retort by putting our walls up with our fingers drawn pointed out. Interestingly, hate tricks us into resisting what we actually want to connect to. The desire to connect is so strong, and the associated fear of getting hurt so strong, that when the two are at odds we feel torn. The feelings get so emotionally raw that it makes us uneasy. We want, but we are also afraid to want. So we respond by trying to push away whatever it is that’s making us feel this way. It’s not the people we’re pushing away, it’s what they stir up in us, the discomfort they evoke in us that we’re trying to cast away. All the while, the reality is the

more we resist them, the more we probably want them. The more we try to erase them, the more we probably want to remember them. The more we push them away, the more we want them to stay. The more we understand who we are, what we want, and where we want to go, the more love and hate cease to exist as separate, and the more they become one. Simply, a desire to bond. It’s easy to be honest about how we feel when things are going well, when we feel an abundance of love, appreciation, and acceptance. At the same time, it’s interesting to think about what this world would be like if every time we experience hate or find ourselves pushing others away, we were to go a little deeper, and get in touch with what we might be really trying to say. Namely, “I’m drawn to you. I want to get close to you. But I’m too scared to make myself vulnerable and share this with you because I don’t know what will happen. I’m scared you might not want me the way I want you, or the way I want you to want me. I’m scared you might not accept me, and you might even use what I say against me. I’m too scared to admit you affect me, you influence me, you have power over me. I’m so afraid of you finding out how I really feel about you that I’m going to try to throw you (and myself) off. I’m going to strike you, judge you, and blame you to push you away. I want to push you away because seeing you reminds me of the feelings I have that I’m not ready to deal with. One day, I might gather the courage to access and even share these feelings with you, but right now I’m too scared. Scared I might get hurt. In the meantime, I’ll keep focusing on you, and pushing you away so I don’t have to face my vulnerability.” Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Both are strong, charged, passionate responses to our deep care and desire to adjoin. Love is more honest, while hate more reactive. Love is more genuine, whereas hate more defensive. Love conveys a wish to get close, whilst hate a fear of getting close. Not just to others, but perhaps, more importantly, to ourselves as well.■

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Fashion

ThreadJar: Fashion With a Purpose

by Judith Iloulian

aniel Farahdel, founder of ThreadJar is this issue’s fashion favorite highlight! His deep passion to give back to the community while creating stylish pieces certainly caught our attention. Daniel graduated from UC San Diego in 2013 with a major in Sociology and a minor in Business. He also studied abroad in the summer of 2013 in Seoul, South Korea, where he completed his Business courses. This experience played a fundamental role in jumpstarting his business. What is Threadjar? “Feel good, do good” ThreadJar is a men’s sock line created by Daniel Farahdel that strives to promote confidence while positively impacting our society. With each purchase, Threadjar pledges to donate a pair of socks to a person in need. All of the designs are unique and versatile; consumers will be able to comfortably wear these socks from work to a special event.

Why did Daniel start ThreadJar? Simply put, he desired to make an impact on this world, while allowing people to express their sense of style. Before

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“ThreadJar is a men’s sock line Daniel Farahdel created that strives to promote confidence while having a positive impact on our society. With each purchase, Threadjar pledges to donate a pair of socks to a person in need.”

deciding to pursue his own business full time, he was working a 9-5 job in banking. Going through the same routine every day made him question, “Is this the route I really want to take, or do I want to create change and make an impact on this world?” ThreadJar’s main purpose is grounded in the concept of giving back to those who are less fortunate. Daniel wants his consumers to not only feel good when they wear a pair of ThreadJar socks, but to also know that they’re doing good at the same time, hence his tagline “Feel good, do good”. He believes that with entrepreneurship comes power and a responsibility to influence others towards doing good. Why socks? Socks are a small, low-cost accessory that can add flare to any outfit. Polka-dots, stripes, herringbone and more can help you express yourself, especially if you’re not the type to go over the top with other aspects of your clothing. Wearing these socks helps you feel confident, look great, and stand out in an effortlessly sophisticated way.

How is ThreadJar unique from other designers’ sock lines? ThreadJar emphasizes the importance of giving back, which is why Daniel Farahdel started the #ThreadForThread Campaign, where for each pair of socks purchased, they will donate a separate pair of socks to a local homeless shelter. Homelessness is a significant issue in the Los Angeles area, and as a Los Angeles native, it’s a cause Daniel feels very passionate about. He hopes in the future, ThreadJar can expand even more in the ways the company gives back to the community nationally and worldwide. In December, ThreadJar.com will officially open for purchases and the sock line will also be available in various retail locations across the US. Until then check for updates!■ Facebook: www.facebook.com/ThreadJar Instagram: threadjar_ Twitter: threadjar_ Website: www.threadjar.com

ISSUE #3

Culture & Food

Drunken Sufganya: A Channukah Specialty Drunken Doughnut Cocktail BY ellis doostan

appy, happy Chanukah and shalom from the new Chanukah cooking series: “Yummy Drinks With Your Favorite Mensch.” For this episode, we present “Drunken Sufganya”! Compose this crazy concoction with just a few simple ingredients. Keep in mind, it’s a new twist on coffee and sufganya! Like at many Jewish gatherings, adding a cocktail or two steps up what would already be a grand time. We like to call it a “l’chaim!” Start with these ingredients for your holiday treat: Ingredients 2 ounces espresso vodka 1 ounce chocolate liqueur 1 ounce coffee liqueur 2 ounces chilled or room temperature coffee Splash of hazelnut coffee creamer Whipped Cream (optional) Directions Now that you have the proper ingredients, please follow the directions listed below: In a shaker with ice, add espresso vodka, chocolate and coffee liqueurs, coffee and creamer. Keep shaking the bottle until you have a mixed and creamy consistency. Distribute the liquid equally into mugs for you and your guests to enjoy. For a garnish, you would be using the center portion of a sufganya doughnut. We add our doughnut-like dessert because it reminds us of a great miracle from a long time ago. The sufganya, made from oil, symbolizes how one tiny jar of oil fueled a flame for eight whole days after being almost destroyed by enemy forces. Good for dipping, too! Happy Chanukah and bon appetit!■

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ISSUE #3

Orange Yo

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ou Hungry for Latkes? W

by Valerie Bouganim

hen you hear of Chanukah being spoken about, it’s safe to say that the first food that comes to mind are latkes. The idea of latkes and sufganiyot (and any other fried food your family may have the custom of eating), came about as a commemoration of the miracle that occurred through the discovery of a jug of oil. The story goes as follows: After Alexander the Great, a friend to the Jewish people, passed away, his great kingdom was split up amongst his head commanders. Israel, unfortunately, fell under the rule of Antiochus III. To simply rule Israel wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to erase the Jewish religion and therefore forbade Jews from studying the Torah, being circumcised, etc. If any Jew was caught practicing the Torah, they would be murdered. One day, an old Jewish man named Matityahu was tired of seeing the constant disrespect, and called out to the Jewish people to rise with him in rebellion. Only a few agreed to follow him, as many were afraid for their lives. Having been an old man Matityahu was not able to fight for long, and on his deathbed he urged his 5 sons to carry on his mission. He appointed his second son, Judah, to be the leader. After Matityahu died, his children did not fail him. Even though they were outnumbered one to one hundred, the numbers did not scare their small army for they believed Hashem would protect them. And so He did. They continued fighting and continued winning, until Judah and his men went up to Jerusalem, and there was no one to fight. They went straight to the Beit Hamikdash, the Holy Temple, only to find that it had been completely desecrated. There were idols and pig sacrifices everywhere. They searched through the rummage to see if they could find a jug of pure olive oil that might have still remained, in order to light the Menorah. To their surprise they found one tiny jar, enough to light for one day. However, there was an even greater

miracle. This tiny amount of oil, burnt for a total of 7 days, enough to give the Jews more time to make more pure olive oil. To remember this miracle, we now have the tradition to eat oily foods on Chanukah. Seeing as I try to maintain a healthy kitchen, frying is not a regular occurance. But if I’m going to fry in honor of this beautiful holiday, I might as well fry healthy ingredients. Therefore, I developed the most delicious “healthy” latke recipe. They are so savory you won’t want to dip them into any sauces. Ingredients: 2 Yams 2 Carrots 1 Bushel Italian Parsley 1 Yellow Onion 4 Garlic Cloves 5 eggs 1 tbsp. Kosher Salt ½ tsp. pepper ½ tsp. garlic powder ¾ c. canola oil (for frying) Directions Process all ingredients through the food processor using the shredding disc for the yams, carrots, and onion, and the blade for the garlic and parsley. Combine ingredients in a bowl and add eggs, salt black pepper and garlic powder. Make sure all ingredients are well mixed with the eggs. In a medium-sized frying pan, warm up the oil on medium flame. Scoop out yam and carrot mixture, about one large spoonful, gently place in oil and pat down. Fry for about 2 minutes on each side…. and ENJOY!! Wishing you all a beautiful and Happy Chanukah. You can contact Valerie at valskitchensecrets@gmail.com for all catering inquiries, and make sure to follow her on Instagram@valskitchensecrets for more ideas.■

ISSUE #3

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This Issues Skribes David Issever is a 3rd year osteopathic medical student. He lives in Los Angeles where the opportunity to advance his career has been pleasantly met with good weather a positive social scene. Having lived most of his life on the East Coast in cities such as Baltimore, Philadelphia, and New York, life on the West Coast presented itself as a nice alternative.■

Jennifer Saeedian attained her bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of California, Los Angeles, and finds the human psyche fascinating. She tries to contribute to society in a meaningful way, one smile or article at a time. Jennifer strongly identifies with her Jewish roots, and hopes to make the depth, beauty, and dimensionality of Judaism accessible to others, regardless of their background or extent of religious practice.■

Jonathan J. Delshad is a Lawyer in Los Angeles who practices in all areas of employment law, including representing employees who were involved in discrimination, harassment, and retaliation and certain real estate transactions.■

Kamy Elliasi is currently working as a Managing Director for an international logistics company and also holds a CPA license. He is passionately involved with Jewish learning and studying the Hebrew language and its connection to all the languages of the world. He is currently working on starting a global learning platform for Tanach Learning called TorahVersity. Kamy can be reached at Torahversity@gmail.com.■

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This Issues Skribes Ryan Cadry is originally from Los Angeles. He is an attorney, focusing his practice on commercial litigation. In his spare time, Ryan enjoys reading, playing the piano, watching movies, and being physically active. He is heavily involved in LA's Jewish community, especially in organizations that instill and promote strong Jewish values in young adults who seek to reconnect with their Jewish heritage.■

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Be part of THE SKRIBE by submitting your article. Submissions are due by 01/31/2015 for our issue #4.■

the skribe Our community. Our voice. ISSUE #3