Your church staff and church family are here to walk through this season of grief with you. We understand the loss of a loved one is a difficult and emotional time. We are praying for you.
We know also that dealing with decisions that must be made after death can compound the emotions, stress, and grief. This booklet will help guide you through the practical, personal, and necessary steps as you work through your loss.
The First Baptist Church family is available to help you and your loved ones during this difficult time. Remember, God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in our times of trouble. (Psalm 46:1)
You are loved!
Pastoral Care Ministries pastoralministries@fbchsv.org
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
FIRST STEPS WHEN A LOVED ONE DIES
What to do when a loved one dies?
STEP 1: Breathe; Pray this Prayer; And Remember these Scriptures
Comfort me with Your love, O God.
Wrap me up in Your strong embrace. Shelter me from the storm, O Lord.
Envelop me in Your tender care. By day, I pour out my heartbreak to You. By night, I give you my racing thoughts
In You, I take refuge. In You, I will not be afraid. For you hold me strong.
You hold me safe.
Calm my fearful heart, O God.
Still my anxious mind, O Lord.
For all my life is found in You
All my being is given to You
All my hope begins in You.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit ” Psalm 34:18
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
"I look behind me and you ’ re there, then up ahead and you ’ re there, too your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful I can’t take it all in!” Psalm 139:5
"But now, this is what the Lord says he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior ’” Isaiah 43:1-3a
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7 Funeral and Memorial Planning Guide
STEP 2: Self Care and Rest
Over the next few days, it will be very difficult to sleep and care for yourself. You will typically be asked a great deal of questions and are expected to handle funeral arrangements for your loved one
All the demands on you, as well as your grief, can cause many sleepless nights and make it difficult for you to begin the grieving process. It is extremely important that during this time you do everything possible to find rest and care for your emotional wellbeing. Having friends or family help with as many things as possible will lift great burden off of your shoulders Others may also offer support Do not hesitate to think of specific ways they can assist and ask them. Let others help you.
STEP 3: Choose a Point Person
There are a variety of things that will need to occur over the next few days. Having someone you know you can rely on will ease some of the burden and care for you. Your point person will help make phone calls, assist with visitors, make childcare arrangements if needed, and support any needs you have.
If you need help with this or any other steps in this process, please contact our FBC Pastoral Ministries office at (256) 428-9408.
STEP 4: Contact a Funeral Home
Connect with the funeral home of your choice to schedule an appointment with the funeral home director. We have included a brief list of funeral homes in this booklet on page 8 to assist you in that search Please understand that this is not an exhaustive list You may already have another option.
Remember to ask the funeral home what information or documents you need to bring with you to the appointment.
Ask a close family member or friend to go with you to the funeral home. Should you desire us to accompany you to the funeral home please contact us in our FBC Pastoral Ministries office at (256) 428-9408.
STEP 5: Notify Family Members, Friends, and Small Group
Notify family members and friends regarding the death of your loved one. Make a list of family and friends (with phone numbers included) to be notified of the death. Make sure to ask your point person for help with this.
STEP 6: Contact the Pastoral Ministries Office at FBC
Contact the FBC Pastoral Ministries office and set up an appointment to walk through the funeral/memorial/graveside service(s) planning.
The FBC Pastoral Ministries office can be reached Monday Thursday, 8am 5pm; Friday 8am 1pm. Please call (256) 428-9408 or (256) 428-9400. You may leave a message and a minister will return the call the next workday. After hours, please contact the minister who is working with you for assistance
STEP 7: Finalize any Outstanding Items
Make sure to finalize all details with the hospital, nursing home, life insurance, military, etc
Ask the funeral home or FBC Staff for any final action items.
First Baptist Church, Huntsville Pastoral Ministries
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
What is the difference between a funeral and a memorial service?
Typically, funeral services occur within the week (3-7days) of your loved one ' s passing. Funeral homes are often heavily involved in the handling of details surrounding your loved one ' s body, flowers, visitation, guest book, honorariums, burial, etc.
Memorial Services occur at a time that is best for the surviving loved ones No casket will be present. A collection of your loved one ' s pictures, treasured memorabilia, and/or flowers can be displayed at the visitation and/or the service.
Should a Christian consider cremation?
The simple answer is “Yes.” Many faithful followers of Jesus have chosen to be cremated. The Bible says that, at the second coming of Jesus, our bodies will rise from the grave That will be true whether they have been cremated or undergone a traditional burial. Some people have worried about cremation because they’ve wondered, “If our bodies are going to be raised when Jesus returns, what’s he going to do with a pile of ashes?” But, in actuality, even the bodies of those who were buried in the traditional way a long time ago aren’t exactly in pristine condition Of course, that is true for those buried at sea, as well God created us from dust and he can recreate our bodies in the twinkling of an eye, whether they are ashes or intact bones.
Can you hold a memorial service without a funeral home?
At times, memorial services happen at FBC with little to no assistance of a funeral home. If this is your desire, the majority of decisions and logistics become focused at FBC and with the FBC staff. Your FBC minister will become even more of a coordinator and bear even more responsibility in assisting your family
How do we plan the service and who should officiate my loved one ' s service(s)? If you are using a funeral home, they will help guide you through this process. If the service is held at First Baptist Church Huntsville, typically the funeral directors will work with the church staff to schedule and coordinate all the details of the service, of course with the family’s input. FBC ministers are honored to help you through these steps and will meet with you whether or not a funeral director is involved.
Having a meaningful service is important. If there is a family member or close friend that is a minister and you wish to include them, we will certainly assist you in coordinating their participation. In case you do not know a specific minister, the FBC Pastoral Ministries office is honored to help provide one to officiate your service
Where can the service be held at FBC?
Funerals and memorial services are usually held in the FBC Chapel. If there is the potential of having more than 250 people attend, the sanctuary could be considered Remember, people do not attend funeral/memorial services like they did prior to 2020.
Can a pastor from another church or denomination officiate the service(s)?
You can choose any minister you prefer to officiate a service with the exception of a service held at FBC If a service is held at First Baptist Church Huntsville, the minister must be approved by the FBC Pastoral Ministries office.
Funeral and Memorial Planning Guide
Is it okay to have family members or friends speak at a service?
Not only is it appropriate, but it is encouraged A family member or friend sharing personal remembrances adds a meaningful and memorable touch to a service. However, speaking at a funeral or memorial service can be emotional and overwhelming for some people Most ministers require the person speaking to write out their remembrance and keep their remarks to 3-4 minutes. If the family member or friend is unable to share their remembrance personally, another designated person can read the remembrance on behalf of the family member/friend The minister assisting you in planning the service is happy to give guidance on timing a suitable place for this to occur during the service. You can see a sample funeral program worksheet in this booklet on page 13
How do I secure a soloist and/or musician for the service(s)?
If you know a friend or family member that can help with any music requests, feel free to reach out to them. The FBC Pastoral Ministries office works hand in hand with the FBC Music Ministry and is happy to help coordinate the music needs for your loved one ' s service All music will be approved by the music ministry. Any questions can be sent to musicministries@fbchsv.org.
Do I need live musicians for the service?
Live musicians will add a special touch to the service; however, you do not need to use live musicians to make the service personal or memorable Recordings of favorite songs and artists also provide special moments. Be sure to see guidelines below about using recorded music.
Can I use recorded music at the service?
Yes. However, the family must provide a copy of the music to the FBC Media Ministry at least two days in advance of the service Due to copyright laws FBC cannot secure copies of the music. The music must be submitted on a thumb drive or by email to mediadirector@fbchsv.org. We cannot use phones, tablets, or other personal digital devices from which to play the music. Contact mediadirector@fbchsv.org or musicministries@fbchsv.org for more information.
What about the printed funeral program?
When the funeral or memorial service is being held at FBC, we will be responsible for assisting you in creating the printed funeral program for the service. Final corrections and approval would need to be given to the FBC Pastoral Ministries office 24 hours prior to the service in order for us to print in a timely manner Printed pieces used at FBC services will be approved by FBC We have included a worksheet for the funeral program on page 13.
Will the service be recorded?
We do offer the option of an audio only recording of the service. If you would like a copy of your loved ones ‘ s funeral or memorial service, please contact our Media Ministry Team at mediadirector@fbchsv org
Can we show a memorial video with photos of our loved one at the service?
Yes, our chapel is equipped to show a video as long as the music and content would be appropriate for any worship service held at FBC. Approval by the minister performing the service is necessary Most often, the funeral home will help you produce this video and we will play it. If no funeral home is involved to assist with the video/slide show, we would need a completed video, created by your family, given to our Media Ministry coordinator 48 hours prior to your loved one ' s service to insure it will play For digital format specifications and other questions, contact our FBC Media Ministry at mediadirector@fbchsv.org.
Can I video the funeral/memorial service? What about livestream?
Recording video of a service is very common. You may work with someone you know or ask the funeral home to assist you with this process Funeral homes often offer video services as part of their funeral options. You may also ask someone to record the service for you. The videographer can set up at the back of the room with single stationary camera and record from that location
Concerning livestream, FBC does not offer this service, but a family member or friend is welcome to set up a phone/computer to livestream
What about flowers and plants for the service?
Flowers and plants from florists can only be received on the day of the service; they cannot be accepted the day before. All flowers/plants must be removed from the church at the close of the service or reception. Any flowers left will be discarded.
Does FBC provide childcare?
FBC does not provide childcare for funeral or memorial services. We would be glad to talk with you about needs you may have for children of immediate family members and how that can be addressed. If you need childcare for immediate family members with children age 5 and younger, please email familyministries@fbchsv org The option to have childcare is dependent upon the availability of workers. There will be a fee based on the length of time and the number of workers needed (minimum: two childcare workers for two hours)
What is a customary honorarium for those who help with the service(s)?
An honorarium is never required or expected, but please know that it is very much appreciated The people who help lead and coordinate your loved one ’ s service work diligently to make the service special, memorable and personal. The amounts listed below are common and are only given as a guide for the family. If you wish to express your appreciation with an honorarium, please give cash or write checks to individuals personally.
Minister $200-$250
Congregational Music Leader $100-$150
Instrumentalist (Pianist/organist) $100-$150
Soloist $100-$150
Media Tech $100 Funeral and Memorial Planning Guide
Does First Baptist Church provide a meal for the family the day of the service?
If the deceased is a member of FBC and a part of a Bible Study or other small group, that group may provide the meal. If the deceased is a member of FBC, but not part of a Sunday School Class, FBC can provide a meal upon the families request. FBC meals are planned for up to 25 family members If more than 25 people are expected, the family will coordinate with the church to cover the cost for the additional food/beverages This meal is reserved for family only FBC will need the number of family members expected at this meal two days prior to the service to allow time to prepare. FBC can also provide the paper goods, plastic ware, cups and ice for the meal. Meal can be hosted at the FBC facility on the day of the service as long as space is available.
Should we have a reception after a service?
If you do not have a graveside service immediately after the funeral, you may elect to have a simple reception in lieu of a meal While family meals are limited in number to the family only, receptions can be a time for everyone who attended the service to offer condolences to the family and share precious memories While becoming common, you are not expected to have a reception
You are welcome to use our facilities for a reception on the day of the service as long as space is available If you have a reception, it could be as simple as visiting with family and friends in the lobby or a large room near the FBC Chapel like the Upper Gathering Place or Room 250. It would be your choice if refreshments were served. Caterer and menu must be approved by foodservices@fbchsv.org.
LOCAL FUNERAL HOME INFORMATION
Each of the homes listed are available to assist you with funeral planning. Although we have worked with a variety funeral homes, FBC does not endorse or promote a specific funeral home over others You may use any fully licensed funeral home you like These are listed as a resource because they are local.
Please feel free to choose from this list, or from any another funeral home that you are comfortable using.
2505 University Drive NW, Huntsville, AL 35816 (256) 539-9693 / www.serenityfuneralhm.com
Spry Funeral Home and Crematory
2411 Memorial Parkway NW, Huntsville, AL 35810 (256) 536-6654 / www.spryfuneralhomes.com
Valhalla Funeral Home & Memory Gardens
698 Winchester Road NE, Huntsville, AL 35811 (256) 852-8500 / www valhallafuneralhome com
Funeral and Memorial Planning Guide
POTENTIAL COSTS
This information is provided as a guide for anticipated costs of funeral home services These prices are not guaranteed and change with each option, service, and funeral home chosen. While FBC does not charge to use our facility for a church member’s funeral, there could be costs associated with media needs, musicians, or honorariums as listed in the FAQ on page 6. FBC does have a facility usage fee for services of non-church members
The following list can serve as a general idea of what you may experience with local pricing.
Traditional Funeral Service
A traditional funeral service is held prior to the burial, and the body is present A visitation is offered followed by a service which typically includes music, personal reflections, a message, and a video/slideshow to honor the deceased and family. The traditional service is often followed by a brief graveside burial service Some families choose to have a private burial before the funeral with a reception following the service.
Estimated Costs: $8,000 - $15,000+
Cremation Memorial Service
A memorial service is held for a person after their remains have been cremated This service is set up much like the traditional funeral service and follows the same general flow. A family visitation can be offered before or after a memorial service.
Estimated Costs: $1,500 - $8,000+
Direct Cremation
A direct cremation occurs very quickly after a death and the remains are given to the family. There is no viewing, visitation, or wake before the cremation
The option of having a memorial service honoring the lost loved one is still available and can be scheduled at any time after the cremation
Estimated Costs: $1,295 - $2,595+
Donating a Body to Science
When a body is donated to science, it provides a unique gift to medical researchers, educators, doctors, scientists, emergency services personnel, and university medical students for research on new life-saving medical and surgical procedures and techniques Your physician, hospital, palliative care or hospice can provide information on this process.
COST: varies
FBC CHECKLIST
Information FBC considers while planning with your family.
Full Name of Deceased
Date of Birth:
Date of Death:
Funeral Home Name
Location of Service (Funeral Home/FBC Chapel/Graveside/Other):
Date of Service: Time of Service:
Type of Service: (memorial/funeral) Casket: (yes/no)
Guest Book: (yes/no) Memorial Table: (yes/no) Easel: (yes/no)
Family Expected for Reserved Seating: #
Name of Family Contact Person
Phone:
Relationship to Deceased:
Email:
FBC CHECKLIST
Minister to Perform Service:
Other Minister(s):
Musicians:
Soloists:
Media Team:
FBC Bible Study/Small Group Association: (yes/no)
Group Name:
Meal Hosted at FBC, if available (yes/no)
Room #: Time of Meal:
Expected for meal (25 max FBC): #
Food Coordinator:
Other Details:
Memorial Gift directed to:
Service time publicized within FBC (yes/no)?
Notes:
FUNERAL PROGRAM WORKSHEET
Celebration of the Life of
Picture of deceased (Provided by Family)
Birth Date Death Date
Date/Time/Location
Pre-Service Music (10 minutes)
Instrumentalist (Live) or Recorded Music (Media Ministry) (Optional with slide show)
Welcome/Scripture/Prayer (5 minutes)
Minister/Speaker:
Music (3 minutes)
Song #1:
Congregational (yes/no)
Soloist/Leader:
Family/Friend Remembrances (3 minutes/person)
Name:
Name:
Music (3 minutes)
Song #2:
Congregational (yes/no)
Soloist/Leader:
Message (15 minutes)
Minister:
Music (3 minutes)
Song #3:
Congregational (yes/no)
Soloist/Leader:
Closing Comments/Prayer (3 minutes)
Minister/Speaker:
Post-Service Music (5 minutes)
*The service is generally best received by the guests if it does not exceed one hour.
CARING RESOURCES
At FBC, you do not have to go through the grieving process alone Healing from your grief is not easy. It can be a long, sometimes strenuous process. Our staff is honored to walk alongside you as you seek to adjust to life after loss and emerge from the numbness of grief, shock, and sometimes overwhelming emotions Below, you will find a list of avenues we provide to help you move forward after a difficult loss.
We invite you to join us in any of these ministries as you begin your journey towards healing and hope You can get more details by calling the FBC Pastoral Ministries office at (256) 428-9408 and requesting information or by email, pastoralministries@fbchsv.org.
GriefShare
GriefShare is a practical and interactive ministry that features biblical teaching on grief and recovery topics related to the loss of a loved one FBC offers GriefShare in the spring and fall. Each leader has experienced personal loss, so they truly "know how you feel." Feel free to visit their website at www.griefshare.org.
Stephen Ministry
Since 2005, FBC has had a Stephen Ministry. Stephen Ministers are members of our congregation who have received special training to provide one-to-one confidential Christian care to people in our congregation and community experiencing challenges. To be connected to a Stephen Minister call (256) 428-9408, or scan the QR code with your phone
The Vine Pastoral Counseling Service
As an additional resource for grief and emotional support, we partner with The Vine Pastoral Counseling Center. Their licensed professionals provide services to families to promote emotional healing They can be contacted at (256) 270-7399, or www vinepcc com
Financial Peace
Financial Peace University is a life-changing program that teaches you how to make the right decisions with your money. As a surviving loved one you will gain confidence in learning how to save money, live on a budget, eliminate debt, and experience the joy of giving Contact the church office to learn when this course is offered at (256) 428-9400. Also, feel free to visit their website at www ramseysolutions com
