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DECEMBER 23, 2015 · VOL. 29 · NO. 51 · FREE + 30 + 52

In Patterson’s Hood p. 6 · New Year’s Eve Music p. 9 · Randall Bramblett p. 10 · Slackpole pp. 19–27

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015

this week’s issue

#intheATH

Joshua L. Jones

Happy holidays! We’re gonna cut out a little early, if it’s OK with y’all. See Slackpole on p. 19.

table of contents

on flagpole.com

Baldwin Hall

from the blogs  GRUB NOTES: Wondering what restaurants are open on Christmas Day? Where you can get a last-minute side dish for that holiday potluck? We’ve got you covered.  HOMEDRONE: Music Editor Gabe Vodicka is revealing his personal top 10 albums of 2015, and City Editor Blake Aued is reviewing them.  IN THE LOOP: Work on UGA’s Baldwin Hall expansion was suspended after 27 grave sites were discovered at the construction site.

athens power rankings: DEC. 21–JAN. 3 1. Flagpole  readers 2. Slackpole  contributors 3. Local musicians 4. Bryan McClendon  5. Flagpole  staff

Pub Notes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Capitol Impact . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 This Modern World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 City Dope . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Movie Review . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Music in 2015 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 New Year’s Eve Concerts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 The Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Bulletin Board . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Adopt Me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Art Around Town . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Classifieds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Crossword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Sudoku . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Slackpole . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 EDITOR & PUBLISHER Pete McCommons ADVERTISING DIRECTOR & PUBLISHER Alicia Nickles PRODUCTION DIRECTOR Larry Tenner ADVERTISING SALES Anita Aubrey, Jessica Pritchard Mangum, Carey McLaughlin MANAGING EDITOR & MUSIC EDITOR Gabe Vodicka CITY EDITOR Blake Aued ARTS EDITOR & DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Jessica Smith CLASSIFIEDS & OFFICE MANAGER Stephanie Rivers AD DESIGNER Kelly Hart SLACKPOLE CARTOONISTS Chris Franz, Becky Parker, Matt Salie ADOPT ME Special Agent Cindy Jerrell STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Joshua L. Jones CONTRIBUTORS Jay Barnes, Jacqueline Baxter, Tom Crawford, Liz Conroy, Bowen Craig, James Peter Gronski, Jill Hartmann-Roberts, Victor B. Johanek, Pete McBrayer, Amanda Nix, William Pierson, Hall Roberts, Laurel Rudolph, Jacob Wenzka, Drew Wheeler, Eddie Whitlock, Nick Zorn CIRCULATION Charles Greenleaf, Emily Armond, Will Donaldson, Marie Uhler WEB DESIGNER Kelly Hart ADVERTISING INTERNS Qiuhui Li, Raven Pratt ARTS INTERN Madeline Bates COVER OF 2015 COVERS arranged by Kelly Hart SLACKPOLE COVER from weekly sketches by Larry Tenner (p. 19)

Athens Power Rankings are posted each Monday on the In the Loop blog on flagpole.com.

 reader feedback  “In the meantime, stay well clear of any staticfilled television screens you may encounter while in Baldwin Hall…” — Jim Kvicala

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state representatives and senators were tryI was awakened in the middle of the ing to use government to solve problems, night by the Ghost of Politics Past. She as showed to you by my buddy the Ghost of showed me a vast panorama of governPolitics Past? Well, once the Scroogists took ment working to improve our town and over the state legislature, what did they do? combat our ills: poverty, lack of transportaThey added enough cows and pigs to your tion, dangerous streets, low wages, sprawl, legislative districts to elect Scrooges from destruction of neighborhoods, inadequate all but one. Then, they sliced and diced your schools. local government districts to try to wring “I remember those days,â€? I shouted. a few Scrooges out of those. But their best “The mayor and commission came up with solutions for our most pressing problems— coup of all was the sleeper Scrooge who laid low for 20 years until actually put stuff on she fooled everythe agenda and acted The odds are you’ll be body and got elected on it. And the uniscrooged from here on out. mayor. That local versity pledged to do enough for you?â€? its part to raise low I thought I heard giggling as the Ghost wages among its support staff. Why, those faded away, and I sank back into a fitful were the good old days. What happened?â€? sleep. “You took it all for granted,â€? the ghost Next up was the Ghost of Politics Future. said. “You let it slip away.â€? By this time, I was trembling with dread. “What? How? Why would we do that?â€? “You threw away your majority,â€? the ghost intoned sorrowfully. “You said it didn’t matter. That it was OK to have non-partisan elections.â€? “Well, isn’t that the progressive thing to do?â€? I asked. “Don’t make me laugh,â€? the ghost said. “It hurts. Without political parties, you had no way to tell the difference between Ebenezer Scrooge and Bob Cratchit.â€? “So what?â€? “So what? So, Scrooge won and shut down your government. That’s when it stopped trying to be progressive, stopped taking any action‌â€? Then the ghost vanished. I had barely drifted back into sleep when I was awakened again by the Ghost of Politics Present. “What do you have John Leech’s illustration depicts Marley’s ghost visiting Scrooge in Charles to show me, Ghost?â€? I Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, a beautifully written treatise on human nature, asked. worth reading any time. “Nothing you haven’t “So,â€? I said, “tell me how bad it’s going already seen,â€? it said. “The spirit of Scrooge to be.â€? has taken over your state government, too, “Strictly up to you,â€? GPF confided. “If the and it pinches pennies for your schools and past and present are any guide, it will be transportation and hospitals and health business as usual. You are so far gone with insurance for the poor, while it cuts the Scroogism that it will take a miracle to turn taxes of the rich and the corporations and this thing around. I don’t see much sign makes people pay for the cost overruns of that you’ve got the will to take your city the electric company. It calls people fleeback. If you want to try, you have got to get ing war-torn countries “terrorists,â€? but it organized. You have got to re-learn how to refuses to do anything to keep weapons get out the vote. You have got to find good from your own citizens who are angry or unbalanced enough to terrorize and murder candidates and start working for them now. You’re in the majority here, but you’ve been you.â€? so slack you wouldn’t know it. The odds are “Yeah, but that’s state government,â€? I you’ll be scrooged from here on out.â€? told Ghosty. “We’re local.â€? “No, no,â€? I cried. And then I woke up. “Oh, excuse me,â€? the haint replied cooly. Was it all a dream, or‌? f “You want local? Remember when all your

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in running against Kemp in the Republican primary for governor. The events have left Kemp on the hook for some sizable payments to high-priced lawyers, the credit monitoring service and the litigants. You may want to toss a few coins into his tin cup. Another person who could qualify as needy is Robert Nkemdiche, a talented football player at Ole Miss who could be a high draft pick by a National Football League team. Nkemdiche helped lead his Grayson High School football team to a state championship in Georgia. While staying at the Grand Hyatt Atlanta hotel recently, Nkemdiche went through his hotel room window, fell onto a ledge encircling the building, and then fell 15 feet from the ledge to the ground. Authorities subsequently found a small amount of marijuana in his hotel room. The athlete did apologize to his fans and teammates about the incident: “I made a mistake and put myself in an environment that doesn’t reflect who I am as a person.� Like Kemp, Nkemdiche could end up having to pay hefty legal fees before his situation is resolved. He could become even needier if the publicity hinders efforts to sign a lucrative contract with an NFL team. Ultimately, I think both men will get through this in decent shape. There are still more than two years until the next election for governor, which is an eternity in politics. If there are no major outbreaks of identity theft from the data breach, then Kemp should benefit from the fact that the average voter has a very short memory. Nkemdiche should also be able to resolve the legal issues and get on with his life. Other athletes have encountered worse situations and been able to handle it. f

un K id F de s R EE r 13 !

It’s a tradition for newspapers to make a seasonal request of their readers: “This Christmas, remember the needy.� In that spirit, I will note a couple of needy Georgians who have been the subject of intense media scrutiny in recent weeks and would probably appreciate a few kind words from their friends. Secretary of State Brian Kemp has had to deal with an embarrassing report that his agency distributed computer disks that erroneously included not only the names of Georgia’s 6.2 million registered voters, but their social security numbers and birth dates as well. That’s the kind of personal information that could be used by folks involved in identity thefts and computer scams. Not surprisingly, the media jumped on the story and Kemp has taken a beating from critics who have demanded that he resign as secretary of state. This is media coverage that no politician wants to deal with at Christmastime, especially an ambitious one like Kemp, who is expected to run for governor in 2018. The data breach is becoming an expensive proposition for Kemp’s office. He’s offering a free year of credit monitoring to those who are worried about possible consequences of releasing their information. On top of that, the secretary of state’s office will have to pay for the services of private attorneys to defend Kemp in a civil lawsuit filed by two registered voters. The private lawyers are necessary because Attorney General Sam Olens, who normally defends state officials sued over their official activities, has declined to represent Kemp. Olens cited a potential “conflict of interest� as his reason to withdraw from the case. The conflict involves Olens’ interest

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Development in Patterson’s Hood LAndmark Properties makes a move into potterytown By Blake Aued news@flagpole.com

for her part, held out hope that Landmark might offer an extension. Those common secrecy agreements put the seller at a disadvantage, not knowing which neighbors have sold out and for how much, said Carter, who has dealt with another similar situation in moving a threatened historic house to Orange Twin. “They’re shrewd businessmen, and they didn’t break any laws, but it’s not the kind of thing I like to see in Athens,� she said. The future of Potterytown—one of Athens’ few remaining affordable in-town neighborhoods—is in doubt. It’s zoned commercial-downtown, allowing for high density. Weaver D’s and the rentals on Wilkerson Street owned by the Mingledorff family have been available for years. As for the properties around Pottery Street, nothing has been submitted to the Athens-Clarke County Planning Department. “We have acquired a few properties in Potterytown but have no immediate plans for them,� Rogers said. “We just love owning good real estate in Athens.�

Blake Aued

the point that we were doing our children a disservice by When Atlanta-based Selig Enterprises wanted to build staying, as they have lived their entire lives to that point in a massive development that may have included a Walmart that location and had been constantly surrounded by large just east of downtown, Patterson Hood wasn’t having it. With a pickup band of local all-stars dubbed The Downtown commercial construction projects,� she said. Hood said she knew developers would inevitably come 13, Hood recorded “After It’s Gone,� a song that drew knocking and insisted on being able to preserve the house national attention to the Selig development in 2012. she put her “blood, sweat and tears� into since 1999 as We thought the “it� in the song was our quaint downpart of the sale. The Hoods included in their contract with town full of locally owned businesses, but it turns out the Landmark a stipulation that, for $10, the historic house “it� is Hood’s neighborhood down the hill. After two years of planning and protests, the Selig devel- could be moved out to Orange Twin, the eco-village in Five Points Parking: “None of y’all might realize how long northeastern Clarke County that Laura Carter and other opment went belly-up in 2013. But Landmark Properties, members of the Elephant 6 collective have been working on I’ve waited for this day to come,� ACC Commissioner Diane an Athens-based student housing developer, swooped Bell said at last week’s agenda-setting meeting. “I’m very, for a decade. in, buying the former Armstrong & Dobbs tract near the very, very excited.� corner of East Broad and Sounds like she might Oconee streets and partnerhave been talking about, ing with Selig on very simisay, the birth of a grandlar development that’s now child. But the topic was a under construction, without parking study ACC will be the Walmart. conducting in Five Points. Just east of that develAnd it’s about time. opment is Potterytown, a As Bell—who owns a 1930s mill neighborhood Five Points salon and was that’s a mix of student rentactive in the business comals and owner-occupied munity before winning a houses. Before moving to Five Points-centric commisPortland, OR earlier this sion seat—knows better year, the Hoods lived at 920 than anyone, parking has E. Broad St.—in the shadow always been at a premium of The Mark, Landmark’s in Five Points. A 2014 court new development, and the ruling made matters worse. equally massive 909 Broad On the left is Patterson Hood’s old house on East Broad Street. Looks bucolic, huh? On the right is the view up the hill from his front yard. The Georgia Supreme Court student apartment complex turned over 27 formerly public spaces on Lumpkin Street Carter was on tour with Nana Grizol last week while at across the street. to Barry Stiles for exclusive use by tenants in his building, the same time trying to make arrangements to move the In April, according to tax records, Pottery Street LLC, creating a domino effect all over the business district. ACC house. Contractors were lined up and the city had signed a company associated with Landmark, started buying up made 14 spaces at the Five Points fire station available for off on the permit, but the forecast called for two weeks of properties surrounding the Hoods’ house, which is just public use in 2013, but the problem remains. Businesses across the future rail-trail from The Mark. The Hoods’ prop- steady rain, so late last week, she had to call off the move. are affected, of course, but so are Five Points residents Originally, Landmark didn’t want the house, but now it erty hasn’t officially changed hands yet, but it will early whose on-street parking is often taken up by customers. does; if it’s not moved by Jan. 5, Landmark gets it, so the next month. Commissioners are expected to approve a Five Points parkcompany refused to push back the deadline, she said. (CEO Rebecca Hood, Patterson’s wife, said they had originally ing study at their Jan. 5 meeting. The 90-day study will Wes Rogers declined to comment, citing a confidentiality intended to rent out the house when the left for Portland, be done by W.R. Toole, the county’s on-call engineering agreement.) in part to escape construction at The Mark. “We decided firm, starting in February. The study area will encompass In the end, the risk that Orange Twin could be sued was that this was the time to get our family out of the neighborLumpkin Street from campus to Woodrow Street. f too great. “Everybody gave it their all,� Carter said. Hood, hood that was literally growing up around us, as it came to

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015

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Heroes and Villains J.J. Abrams’ Successful Star Wars  Reboot By Drew Wheeler movies@flagpole.com STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS (PG-13) Right at this exact moment, in this very galaxy, the nearly 40-year-old cultural phenomenon that is Star Wars rolls on. Universe architect George Lucas has ceded control of his billion-dollar property to Disney, who tapped Star Trek reinvigorator J.J. Abrams to construct the first film of the franchise to be set after the original trilogy, and it completely validates my generation’s collective childhood. While The Force Awakens is not quite the post-Return of the Jedi movie we always wanted—the further adventures of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia—it is the perfect franchise palate-cleanser after the increasingly poorly-aging prequels. The Force Awakens will never unseat the original trilogy (it will never rank higher than fourth), but it is the most complete film outside of The Empire Strikes Back.

Abrams (I didn’t notice much lens flare) and co-screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan (who helped write The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi) have intriguingly created a film that expands on the universe while also sort of rebooting it. The Force Awakens cribs a lot of its key plot points from the first Star Wars: Young heroes dreaming of adventure on a desolate desert planet, musical cantinas popular with aliens of all sizes and shapes and a climactic X-Wing run on a massive Imperial base all feel familiar without feeling unoriginal. Abrams is no Steven Spielberg, though his work could be called Spielbergian; see Super 8. His entry in the Star Wars canon feels like the closest we’ll ever get to an episode helmed by Lucas’ Indiana Jones collaborator. The universe is strengthened by the vitality of the series’ new heroes and villains, especially as they interact so much Star Wars: The Force Awakens with everyone’s favorite smuggler and walking carpet. Ridley and Boyega easily earn their place in franchise lore as they sweetly, humorously and heroically tackle the new Empire and its villainous practitioner of the Dark Side, Kylo Ren. Driver (best known from HBO’s “Girls”) imbues Kylo Ren with the fear, anger, I thought weed was legal on this planet. hate and suffering so very befitting of the late Darth Vader. The Set 30 years after the fall of the Galactic film’s other new hero, Oscar Isaac’s dashing Empire, The Force Awakens opens with the pilot Poe Dameron, finally makes good on last Jedi, Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), in the promise of Wedge Antilles, an X-Wing hiding, with the remnants of the Empire, pilot who never could get out of the shadow now called the First Order, in hot pursuit. Meanwhile, the Resistance, formerly known of Luke Skywalker. In his first appearance, BB-8 is a sweet but not cloying addition to as the Rebel Alliance, and one of its chief the series’ longtime droid duo, R2-D2 and leaders, Luke’s sister, General Leia Organa C-3PO. (Carrie Fisher), also seek the Jedi Master. Other exciting new characters of note Into this fray enter new characters: scavenare Domhnall Gleeson’s Grand Moff Tarkin ger Rey (Daisy Ridley), stormtrooper Finn wannabe General Hux and the silver(John Boyega) and new big bad, Kylo Ren armored stormtrooper Captain Phasma (Adam Driver), all united by cute new roly(Gwendoline Christie from “Game of poly droid BB-8. Thrones”). The jury is still out on whether After the disappointingly written and or not Supreme Commander Snoke (Andy directed prequels—flaws directly attributSerkis), who gives off a little too much of able to Lucas himself—Star Wars needed a Voldemort vibe, is a worthy successor to what The Force Awakens provides. Sighting Emperor Palpatine. the Millennium Falcon for the first time in Ultimately, few reviews can do justice the film reminds viewers they are witnessto the overwhelming sense of excitement, ing what feels like the first truly new Star Wars since 1983. The energy, humor (so cru- joy and relief generated by such a satisfying new Star Wars film. If the prequels were cial) and emotional attachment bestowed by the return of beloved characters like Han made for a new generation of Star Wars Solo (Harrison Ford) and Chewbacca cannot fans, The Force Awakens fittingly bridges the gap between those newer, younger fans be undersold. Seeing such familiar heroic faces, aged as they are, on the big screen for and the generation that grew up lovingly obsessed with the original universe. We the first time in more than 30 years doing have long wanted and deserved a new film new things certainly highlights this latest in the franchise starring Ford, Hamill and Star Wars. Fisher. Fortunately, The Force Awakens was Innumerable small pleasures—Easter just what the franchise—and its fans— eggs calling back to the original film—pop needed. f up in every scene. The surprisingly divisive

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Remember When? Local Musicians’ Favorite Moments of 2015 Editor’s note: For the second installment in Flagpole’s series of year-end music coverage—we’ll conclude on Jan. 6 with our top 10 albums list—we invited local musicians and those otherwise connected with the scene to tell us their favorite things about Athens music in 2015.

John Norris (Crazy Hoarse, Hot Club of Athens): As a player, what I’m really enjoying lately is making music in widely (and often wildly) varying styles, with the only constant thread being the fact that there are such wonderful people in Athens to make it with. Whether it’s exploring what’s musically possible with electrons and mathematical possibilities, taking comfort in organic melodies with human stories or kicking the groove around in a big way, it’s all communication. So many things about life are so fucked up

Mike White · deadlydesigns.com

Andrew Rieger (Elf Power): Strangest Athens album of 2015: Vernon Thornsberry, Jazz Jazz Jazz (and More Jazz). The title is a bit misleading, as while there are certainly many traditional jazz instruments (horns, pianos, clarinet, drums) on this album, the disjointed, jubilant stew that Vernon cooks up on here really defies any labels. The music is so off-kilter and ecstatic it can be hard to make sense of at times, but it all coalesces into a wonderful mix of Captain Beefheart-styled, atonal jazzy freakouts. Highly recommended for the adventurous listener.

Everyone left feeling like we had shared something unquestionably special.

Killick Hinds: Flicker Theatre, Nov. 12. Cellist Alec Livaditis, with horn players Stephen Roach and Peter Sloan, mesmerized a packed room. The music was varied, nuanced and immediate—no small feat—but what I loved most was the interaction with the audience. Performers and attendees, together in exploration, as if for a brief moment constant digital distraction was never a thing. When the program concluded with sudden spontaneous tensegrity, all hands clapped, nary a selfie stick aloft. Mike Turner (HHBTM Records): In 2015, I set out to see one show a week, or try for 52 shows total for the year. At this time, I’m about four shows short, but might be able to make the goal for the year. For 2016, I want to make that 52 local shows in Athens. I noticed over the years I went out less and less, and had almost stopped going to see shows. Living in Athens, there are so many shows, sometimes you just don’t go see any at all. I hope this kind of thing might become a trend, going out and supporting the scene. One show a week isn’t that hard to do when the prices are roughly $5 a show. As far as one of my favorite live moments for the year, that would be seeing Polaris at the 40 Watt, then being able to walk next door to the Caledonia and still catch a good bit of Willis Earl Beal. So, thanks to Athens Intensified for that. Jianna Justice (Penny Lame): By far, the music moment of 2015 I still can’t shake was seeing Mothers’ “In the Evening I am Forgotten” performance as a three-piece at Flicker Bar. I’ve always sort of clung to Mothers; Kristine [Leschper] was the first act I saw when I moved to Athens, and has since influenced my decision to create music and perform as a solo act. On this night, she effortlessly wove spoken word, visual art and previously unheard powerhouse songs into one seamless show. Each moment was cloaked in her signature painstakingly detailed style, which reached a climax when she played a quiet solo while a masked figure lopped off locks of her hair with blunt scissors. It was intense and comforting, intimate yet isolating, grueling and stunning.

8

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015

and intractable, but getting together to play and listen with other people is certainly lots of fun. Ephemeral, yes, but still magical. Sebastian Marquez (Dead Neighbors): Oof—there was a lot that happened this year. After playing some of our most fun shows with Meth Wax, listening to Saline’s Dumb EP for the first time, being there for the meteoric rise of Mothers and releasing Dead Neighbors’ first album, I had to think about this pretty hard. But I think the one moment that stuck with me the most this year would have to be witnessing the death and rebirth of Scooterbabe. Their two tapes hold a lot of sentimental value for me, so having them back feels pretty darn nice. AJ Griffin (French Exit): The most enduring musical memory for me, in an year chock full of ‘em, has to be the giant E6 bonanza that took place at Orange Twin in May; seeing Elf Power, Thimble Circus, Circulatory System and Neutral Milk Hotel—bands I, like most people my age, discovered and frankly obsessed over during those formative years of high school and college—playing together outside in the beautiful heartland, if you will, of that whole community, I couldn’t help but take a step back and appreciate the grandeur of it all. And as if that wasn’t enough to make your heart get a little bigger, there was the image of Robert Schneider accompanied on stage by his son, Max, whose obvious talent would give even the most curmudgeonly person (probably has to be Scott Spillane, right?) a warm sense

of optimism that this movement—or collective, or unique amalgam of souls, or whatever you want to call it—will continue to endure for years to come. Top all that off with The Music Tapes guiding us into nightfall with their well-honed sense of magic and a sea of friendly, familiar faces in the crowd throughout the day, and you’ve got yourself a heck of an experience. Also, I think I may have eaten an entire turkey leg, but I’m a little fuzzy on that part. Taylor Chmura (Deep State): Opinions are damning. The urge to compartmentalize personal experiences into the span of a single year is dangerous. What if our individual eras/phases/cycles started in the middle of 2015 and Vernon Thornsberry will extend into the middle of 2016? Have we fallen out of line? Out of time’s axis? Why should we begin and end on the calendar constructed by mere human beings? YOU WERE BORN TO CHOOSE. CHOOSE YOUR TIME. Mr. Hardy Morris released a fantastic album. Pinecones/Arbor Labor Union released a spiritually uplifting album. Bathroom\s and Nurse (ATL) played a show so physically inspiring that the glass windows of Go Bar were destroyed. It was a brutal summer. Jason Griffin is fat. Taylor Chicoine hosted beautiful shows at his home, aka the “Pity Party Social Club.” Everyone was pretty nice. Everyone forgot their hangups a couple times this year. Alyssa DeHayes (Arrowhawk Records): My favorite music moment of 2015 was Arbor Labor Union’s (fka Pinecones) vinyl release show on the Georgia Theatre rooftop. After months of getting that release together, it was so nice to take it all in and celebrate. It was cool seeing a handful of artists, like Arbor Labor Union and Mothers, get picked up by national labels. When you mention Athens music to outof-towners, they usually cite the same classic artists who broke through 20-plus years ago, so I’m glad people are taking note of how solid our scene is right now. Either that, or waiting in the UGA ID office with professor Andrew Rieger (Elf Power) to get our faculty IDs. College-aged me wouldn’t have believed you if you told her that, 10 years later, she’d be teacher pals with the frontman of one of her favorite bands. David Barbe: 2015 was a weird and wonderful year for me. It started out with a bad case of shingles that kept me down for four or five months. Down, but never out. Here is how I spent my time musically with four truly incredible Athens bands, two bonafide legends and a crazy great show at one of our fine venues: February, March, April, May: Mixed Drive-By Truckers’ It’s Great to Be Alive! A career-spanning five-disc vinyl set takes a long time to mix. I just got so into it, I couldn’t stop fooling with it. Mastered it in NYC at Sterling Sound with Greg Calbi in mid-May, at which point I… May: …came home and made an album with Shade in four days, pillar to post, tracking and mixing. One-inch

eight-track analog, mixed to 1/4-inch analog. A four-day weekend of their complex, emotionally satisfying sludge. June: New Madrid rented a church camp on Lake Chickamauga in Soddy-Daisy, TN, where we set up an impromptu studio and recorded about half of their next album. July: Came back to Chase Park Transduction and recorded the rest of New Madrid’s album. August: Made a Muuy Biien album in much the same style as the Shade album. One-inch eight-track, recorded in a few days time at CPT. An impressive musical departure for Muuy Biien and a very cool step forwards. Sept. 26: Had the mind-bending honor of inducting my parents, Jane and John Barbe, into the Georgia Music Hall of Fame. Sept. 30: Recorded Father John Misty’s amazing Georgia Theatre show on my birthday! October: Mixed New Madrid album at CPT. DBT live album released Oct. 30 to excellent reviews, which meant that they were now preparing to make yet another record.

November: Finished mixing New Madrid album. Being a double album, it took a while, and once again, it’s hard to let go of something you have been living with for six months. Mastered it in NYC with Greg Calbi at Sterling Sound a week before Thanksgiving. Drove to Nashville the day after I got home to track a fiery new DBT album at Sound Emporium in a three-day window. Other than that, not much. Matt Etgen (New West Records): My 2015 highlight was the intimate Hope for Agoldensummer show at Normaltown Hall on Apr. 2. As always, the Campbell sisters, Claire and Page, with accompaniment by Patrick Morales, held the audience rapt as they wove a rich tapestry of songs, punctuated by stage banter often simultaneously poignant and hilarious. The power of their kinship is timeless and magical to me. The highlight of the show was the as-yet unreleased song “Spark of Life,� a fertility anthem disguised within gardening metaphors. I swear I tear up every time I hear it. f

Jason Thrasher

Five Shows to See on New Year’s Eve

LIVE MUSIC BAR RESTAURANT

@ GRADUATE ATHENS 295 E. DOUGHERTY ST. // ATHENS GA 30601 706�389�5549 ¡ THEFOUNDRYATHENS.COM

SAT DEC 26 TUE DEC 29

1. Muuy Biien, New Madrid, Grand Vapids, Mothers @ 40 Watt Club Hands-down, the overall best bet for live music on Dec. 31 is the remarkably stacked show at the 40 Watt, where four of Athens’ most active and essential groups—each of whom has exciting things in the works for 2016—will share the stage. Their breadth of styles will put a fitting exclamation point on a sonically diverse year in local music.

2. Family and Friends, Dana Swimmer, Culture Culture @ Georgia Theatre Coming in at a close No. 2 is this sure-to-be blowout happening up the street, headlined by the increasingly scarce-on-the-live-scene Family and Friends and also featuring indie-pop standouts Dana Swimmer, who really came into their own in 2015. Synth-pop outfit Culture Culture rounds out the bill.

3. Nairvana, NOF-ENSE @ Caledonia Lounge It’s Halloween on New Year’s Eve at the Caledonia. Get your fill of ear-piercing rawk with noisy Nirvana tribute band Nairvana, who add another layer of misanthropic squall to Kurt Cobain and company’s already-bummerific grunge. Plus, NOFX cover band NOF-ENSE, which features members of pop-punk heroes Karbomb, will throw things back to your (and my) teenage years.

4. Donna Hopkins, Redstone Ramblers @ Live Wire Athens Seasoned Atlanta-based blues guitarist Donna Hopkins headlines a night of rockin’ roots music at Live Wire, where you can also ring in the new year with the homegrown blues collective Redstone Ramblers, as well as virtuosic fingerstyle guitarist Shaun Hopper.

5. The Highballs @ The Foundry

REPENT AT LEISURE WITH APPALACHIAN RHYTHM

A TOTALLY 80s NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY WITH

THU DEC 31

." "#!" &&

VISIT www.AthensNewYearsEve.com FOR PACKAGE & TICKET INFO

SATISFACTION: FRI JAN 1

THE INTERNATIONAL ROLLING STONES SHOW

SAT JAN 2

YACHT ROCK SCHOONER

FRI JAN 8

By Gabe Vodicka music@flagpole.com

ANNUAL CHRISTMAS SHOW! THE FUN LOVIN’ IRISH PUB BAND

TUE JAN 5

Grand Vapids

RANDALL BRAMBLETT BAND

SAT JAN 9

REVEREND CONNER TRIBBLE’S TUESDAY NIGHT

OPEN MIC NIGHT

Ä–Ĺś Ĺś Ä–Ĺś Ĺś ĹśÄˆ ŜēŜ Ĺś Ŝĉ

THE SWINGIN’ MEDALLIONS ABBEY ROAD LIVE! TWO SHOWS! ALL AGES MATINEE AT 2:30PM NIGHT SHOW AT 9PM

GRADUATE ATHENS, SEED LIFE SKILLS AND THE FOUNDRY PRESENT:

SUN JAN 10 WED JAN 13

PLANTING THE SEED DINNER & CONCERT WITH CHEF HUGH ACHESON

FEATURING LIVE MUSIC BY 6 STRING DRAG ALL PROCEEDS BENEFIT SEED LIFE SKILLS

RABBIT BOX:

STORYTELLING FOR ADULTS

“THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS�

;A6<EDA: #8DB Wrap up the New Year with a

20% DISCOUNT on a Body Wrap or Body Scrub

Those wistful for the synth-soaked glory days of 1980s pop and rock—or simply looking for a slightly more refined NYE celebration—should hit up The Foundry, where local cover band The Highballs are the main draw at an event that also features “complimentary party favors� and a champagne toast at the stroke of midnight. For a complete list of New Year’s Eve events, see The Calendar on p. 10.

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DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015 ¡ FLAGPOLE.COM

9

calendar picks

Ceiling Fan

MUSIC | Sat, Dec 26

MUSIC | Mon, Dec 28

MUSIC | Tue, Dec 29

EVENTS | Sat, Jan 2

The Foundry · 8 p.m. · $15 (adv.), $20 (door) One of the season’s most anticipated musical happenings, the Randall Bramblett Band’s annual hometown Christmastime show at The Foundry takes place the day following the main event. Attendees will get another chance to check out new tunes from the storied local singer-songwriter’s most recent album, the bluesy, razor-edged Devil Music, out now on New West Records, as well as blasts from Bramblett’s past and some holiday-themed revelry. Sink not into a post-Xmas malaise; don those fancy new socks and underwear, shake off that turkey-dinner coma (or those pesky in-laws), and come on out. [Gabe Vodicka]

Go Bar · 10 p.m. An Athens music fixture since she was a teenager, Madeline Adams writes sharp, tender folk tunes, her delivery of which has been known to silence the most raucous of house parties. After recording and touring heavily in the mid-to-late aughts—a period that saw the release of The Slow Bang, her essential collaboration with Phosphorescent’s Matthew Houck—Adams has largely stepped back from the world of performance, but she returns to her hometown for a special post-Christmas concert each year. She’s joined by fellow Classic City DIY luminary Theo Hilton, aka Theo Grizol, whose beloved folk-punk band, Nana Grizol, played the 40 Watt last week. [GV]

40 Watt Club · 8 p.m. · $5 After a long hiatus, Athens-based indie rock favorites Ceiling Fan resurfaced at AthFest 2013 with a memorable mainstage performance. Since that time, the group has continued to appear on the scene sporadically, playing shows here and there and releasing the Survival EP—the band’s first recorded output in nearly a decade—in summer 2014. Amidst an otherwise barren concert landscape the week after Christmas, you can enjoy a set of Ceiling Fan’s taut, hooky guitar-pop at the 40 Watt, where they’ll be joined by songwriter Paul McHugh’s raucous Pilgrim, as well as pop classicist Jay Gonzalez and psych-dipped supergroup Los Cantares. [GV]

Multiple Locations · 9 a.m.–1 p.m. · FREE! Sure, you could set your Christmas tree ablaze in a bonfire, or you could give it a second life as compost, mulch or fish habitat by tree-cycling with Keep AthensClarke County Beautiful. Undecorated trees can be brought to seven locations in exchange for a tree seedling: Chase Street Elementary and Clarke Middle schools, Cofer’s Home & Garden, Sandy Creek Nature Center and the centers at Georgia Square Mall’s shuttered theater (pour out a little popcorn…), Winterville Public Works and the Lexington Road Tag Office. KACCB and Junk South offer free home removal for elderly, disabled and veteran residents; call 706-613-3501 to request assistance. [Jessica Smith]

Randall Bramblett Band

Tuesday 22 EVENTS: White Buffalo Christmas (Buffalo’s Café) Celebrate Christmas with Santa and Mrs. Claus, enjoy a puppet show and more. Tonight marks the culmination of the White Buffalo Christmas for Children gift drive. 6–8 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/buffaloscafeathens EVENTS: Tuesday Tour at 2 (Richard B. Russell Building Special Collections Libraries) Take a guided tour of the exhibit galleries of the Walter J. Brown Media Archives and Peabody Awards Collection, the Hargrett Rare Book and Manuscript Library and the Richard B. Russell Library for Political Research and Studies. Meet in the rotunda on the second floor. 2 p.m. FREE! www.libs. uga.edu/scl

10

Madeline

FILM: Home Alone (Ciné Barcafé) Celebrate 25 years of holiday hijinx. Dec. 18, 21–24, 4:30 p.m. Dec. 19–20, 2 p.m. $7.50. www.athenscine.com GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) Westside and Eastside locations of Locos Grill and Pub feature trivia night every Tuesday. 8 p.m. FREE! www.locosgrill.com GAMES: Trivia (Hi-Lo Lounge) Trivia with host Caitlin Wilson. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-8561 GAMES: Trivia at the Rail (The Rail Athens) Trivia hosted by Nic every Tuesday. 10:30 p.m. FREE! 706354-7289 GAMES: Happy Hour Trivia (The Rook and Pawn) Compete in happy hour trivia hosted by James Majure. First place gets a $30 gift card. 5:30–6:30 p.m. FREE! www.therookandpawn.com

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015

GAMES: Bingo (Ted’s Most Best) Every Tuesday. 7 p.m. FREE! www. tedsmostbest.com GAMES: Dirty South Entertainment Trivia (Choo Choo Japanese Korean Grill Express) Compete for house prizes and free beer. Every Tuesday. 8 p.m. FREE! www.choochoorestaurants.com GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (The Savory Spoon) Compete to win prizes. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-367-5721 GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern, 2301 College Station Rd.) Every Tuesday. 8:30 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/blindpigtavern KIDSTUFF: Winter Kick Off (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Explore the outdoors, make crafts and play games to celebrate the first day of winter. Ages 4–12. 9:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. $4–6. www.athensclarkecounty. com/leisure

Ceiling Fan

KIDSTUFF: Lego Club (Madison County Library, Danielsville) Create Lego art and enjoy Lego-based games. For ages 8 & up. 4:30 p.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Kids Night (Buffalo’s Café) Featuring a balloon artist, coloring contests and photos with Buffy the Buffalo. Every Tuesday. 5:30– 7:30 p.m. FREE! 706-354-6655 SPORTS: Men’s Basketball (Stegeman Coliseum) UGA faces off against Clemson. 6 p.m. $15. www. georgiadogs.com

Wednesday 23 ART: Tour at Two (Georgia Museum of Art) View highlights from the permanent collection on a tour led by docents. 2 p.m. FREE! www.georgiamuseum.org

Bring One for the Chipper

FILM: Home Alone (Ciné Barcafé) See Tuesday listing for full description Dec. 18, 21–24, 4:30 p.m. Dec. 19–20, 2 p.m. $7.50. www. athenscine.com GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) Test your trivia chops for prizes! Every Wednesday. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Test your sports knowledge every Wednesday night. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Dirty South Trivia (Mellow Mushroom) Dirty South Trivia offers house cash prizes. 8 p.m. FREE! 706-613-0892 GAMES: Bingo Bango (Highwire Lounge) Weekly themed games. House cash and drink prizes. 8 p.m. FREE! www.highwirelounge.com GAMES: Dirty Bingo (Grindhouse Killer Burgers) Hosted by Garrett

Lennox every Wednesday. 8 p.m. FREE! www.grindhouseburgers.com GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern, Downtown and Broad St. locations) Every Wednesday. 8:30 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/ blindpigtavern

Thursday 24 FILM: Home Alone (Ciné Barcafé) See Tuesday listing for full description Dec. 18, 21–24, 4:30 p.m. Dec. 19–20, 2 p.m. $7.50. www. athenscine.com

Sunday 27 GAMES: Trivia (Brixx Wood Fired Pizza) Test your skills. Every Sunday. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-395-1660

Mike White · deadlydesigns.com

the calendar!

GAMES: Brewer’s Inquisition (Buffalo’s Café) Trivia hosted by Chris Brewer. Every Sunday. 6:30 p.m. (sign-in), 7 p.m. FREE! www. facebook.com/buffaloscafeathens GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (Taqueria Tsunami, Downtown) Surf the trivia wave. 9 p.m. FREE! www. taqueriatsunami.com GAMES: Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern, 2440 W. Broad St.) Every Sunday. 6 p.m. FREE! www.blindpigtavern.com MEETINGS: Sharing the Journey: A Gathering of Writers (Jittery Joe’s Coffee) Discuss what you’re working on and everything writingrelated. New writers are always welcome. 4–6 p.m. FREE! athenswritersassociation.wordpress.com

Monday 28 COMEDY: Comic Strip Show Up & Go Up (The Office Lounge) Open mic comedy. Hosted by Alia Ghosheh. 8 p.m. $5. www.thefoundryathens.com EVENTS: Line Dancing with Ron Putman (Buffalo’s Café) For all skill levels. Held the second and fouth Monday of every month. 6–8:30 p.m. $5. www.facebook.com/buffaloscafeathens GAMES: Spelling Bee (Highwire Lounge) Test your spelling and win prizes. No bees on site. 8–10 p.m. FREE! www.highwirelounge.com GAMES: Team Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Win house cash and prizes! Every Monday night. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Dirty South Trivia: Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll (Grindhouse Killer Burgers) Team trivia contests with house cash prizes every Monday night. 8 p.m. FREE! www.grindhouseburgers.com GAMES: Dirty South Entertainment Trivia (Ovation 12) Hosted by Nic. Play for prizes. 8 p.m. FREE! www.dirtysouthtrivia.com LECTURES & LIT: 10 Things Every Startup Should Know (ACC Library) Join experts from BizDb. co.uk for a small business seminar on improving organization skills, knowing your product, keeping spendings low, investing in marketing and more. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. FREE! www.bizdb.co.uk SPORTS: Women’s Basketball (Stegeman Coliseum) UGA faces off against Tennessee Tech. 7 p.m. $5. www.georgiadogs.com

Tuesday 29 CLASSES: How to Use Georgia Download Destination (Oconee County Library) Georgia Download Destination is a free service that allows patrons to download free audio and ebooks. Registration required. 2 p.m. FREE! 706-7693950, www.athenslibrary.org/oconee COMEDY: Casual Comedy (Hendershot’s Coffee Bar) Dave Weiglein hosts this month’s installment of Casual Comedy. 9 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee.com GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) See Tuesday listing for full description 8 p.m. FREE! www. locosgrill.com GAMES: Monthly Poker Tournament (Flicker Theatre & Bar) Play Texas Hold ‘Em for prizes and bragging rights. Last Tuesday of every month. 7:30 p.m. FREE! www. flickertheatreandbar.com GAMES: Trivia at the Rail (The Rail Athens) Trivia hosted by Nic every Tuesday. 10:30 p.m. FREE! 706354-7289 GAMES: Trivia (Hi-Lo Lounge) See Tuesday listing for full description 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-8561

GAMES: Happy Hour Trivia (The Rook and Pawn) See Tuesday listing for full description 5:30–6:30 p.m. FREE! www.therookandpawn.com GAMES: Dirty South Entertainment Trivia (Choo Choo Japanese Korean Grill Express) Compete for house prizes and free beer. Every Tuesday. 8 p.m. FREE! www.choochoorestaurants.com GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (The Savory Spoon) See Tuesday listing for full description 7 p.m. FREE! 706-367-5721 GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern) See Tuesday listing for full description 8:30 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/blindpigtavern GAMES: Bingo (Ted’s Most Best) Every Tuesday. 7 p.m. FREE! www. tedsmostbest.com KIDSTUFF: Kids Night (Buffalo’s Café) See Tuesday listing for full description 5:30–7:30 p.m. FREE! 706-354-6655

undecorated trees and wreaths. Participants will receive a free tree seeding and/or flower and vegetable seed packets. Drop-off locations include Cofer’s Home and Garden Showplace, Sandy Creek Nature Center, Chase Street Elementary School, Clarke Middle School, Georgia Square Mall, Winterville Public Works Recycling Center and the Lexington Road Tag Office. See Calendar Pick on p. 10. 9 a.m.–1 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3501 ext. 309, accbintern@gmail.com

hosted by Alia Ghosheh. 8 p.m. $5. www.facebook.com/officeathens GAMES: Spelling Bee (Highwire Lounge) See Monday listing for full description 8–10 p.m. FREE! www. highwirelounge.com GAMES: Dirty South Trivia: Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll (Grindhouse Killer Burgers) Team trivia contests with prizes. 8 p.m. FREE! www.grindhouseburgers.com GAMES: Team Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Win house cash and prizes! 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916

GAMES: Trivia (Hi-Lo Lounge) See Tuesday listing for full description 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-8561 GAMES: Trivia at the Rail (The Rail Athens) Trivia hosted by Nic every Tuesday. 10:30 p.m. FREE! 706354-7289 GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) See Tuesday listing for full description 8 p.m. FREE! www. locosgrill.com GAMES: Bingo (Ted’s Most Best) Every Tuesday. 7 p.m. FREE! www. tedsmostbest.com

Wednesday 30 GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) See Wednesday listing for full description 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) See Wednesday listing for full description 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Bingo Bango (Highwire Lounge) See Wednesday listing for full description 8 p.m. FREE! www. highwirelounge.com GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern, Downtown and Broad St. locations) Every Wednesday. 8:30 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/ blindpigtavern GAMES: Dirty South Trivia (Mellow Mushroom) See Wednesday listing for full description 8 p.m. FREE! 706-613-0892 GAMES: Dirty Bingo (Grindhouse Killer Burgers) Hosted by Garrett Lennox every Wednesday. 8 p.m. FREE! www.grindhouseburgers.com MEETINGS: Tech Happy Hour (The World Famous) Meet local entrepreneurs and other Athenians who are making cool stuff at this Four Athens networking happy hour. 6 p.m. FREE! www.fourathens.com/happy-hour

LIVE MUSIC Tuesday 22

Thursday 31 EVENTS: New Year’s at Noon (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Familyfriendly activities include crafts, games and a planetarium program. 10:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. $7–10.50. www.athensclarkecounty.com/sandycreeknaturecenter PERFORMANCE: Atlanta Symphony Orchestra (Hugh Hodgson Concert Hall) Music conductor Joseph Young will conduct the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra for a New Year’s Eve concert that includes works by Johann Strauss, Manuel de Falla and Franz Schubert. 7 p.m. $45–55. www.pac.uga.edu

Friday 1 EVENTS: Music and Meditation (Thrive) Brian Smith and Todd Mueller lead a stillness and awareness session with their unique instrumentation. 2 p.m. Donations accepted. www.thrivespace.net

Saturday 2 EVENTS: Bring One for the Chipper: Christmas Tree Recycling (Multiple Locations) Keep Athens-Clarke County Beautiful encourages citizens to recycle their

GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) See Wednesday listing for full description 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern, Downtown and Broad St. locations) Every Wednesday. 8:30 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/ blindpigtavern GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) See Wednesday listing for full description 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Dirty South Trivia (Mellow Mushroom) See Wednesday listing for full description 8 p.m. FREE! 706-613-0892 GAMES: Blacklight Bingo (Oconee County Library) Play under the fluorescent glow of a blacklight using the library’s special markers and paper. Prizes and snacks provided. Grades 6–12. 7–8 p.m. FREE! www. athenslibrary.org/oconee GAMES: Dirty Bingo (Grindhouse Killer Burgers) Hosted by Garrett Lennox every Wednesday. Prizes and house cash. 8 p.m. FREE! www. grindhouseburgers.com GAMES: Bingo Bango (Highwire Lounge) See Wednesday listing for full description 8 p.m. FREE! www. highwirelounge.com LECTURES & LIT: Word of Mouth Poetry (The Globe) Open mic poetry readings. This month’s event features poetry with musical accompaniment. 8–11 p.m. FREE! www. facebook.com/athenswordofmouth MEETINGS: Tech Happy Hour (The World Famous) See Wednesday listing for full description 6 p.m. FREE! www.fourathens.com/happy-hour PERFORMANCE: Athens Showgirl Cabaret (Go Bar) The theme of this newbie show is Disney/Pixar. Email to perform. 9 p.m. $3. showgirlcabaret@gmail.com, www.athensshowgirlcabaret.com THEATER: The Producers (The Classic Center) A scheming producer and his accountant attempt to produce a Broadway flop in this Mel Brooks comedy. 7:30 p.m. $20–70. www.classiccenter.com

“Samurai: The Way of the Warrior” is currently on view at the Georgia Museum of Art through Sunday, Jan. 3. OUTDOORS: Naturalist’s Walk (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Hike around the property in search of seasonal happenings. Participants should bring a camera or binoculars. 10–11 a.m. FREE! 706-613-3615

Sunday 3 GAMES: Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern, 2440 W. Broad St.) Every Sunday. 6 p.m. FREE! www.blindpigtavern.com GAMES: Trivia (Brixx Wood Fired Pizza) Test your skills. Every Sunday. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-395-1660 GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (Taqueria Tsunami) See Sunday listing for full description 9 p.m. FREE! www.taqueriatsunami.com GAMES: Brewer’s Inquisition (Buffalo’s Café) Trivia hosted by Chris Brewer. Every Sunday. 6:30 p.m. (sign-in), 7 p.m. FREE! www. facebook.com/buffaloscafeathens

Monday 4 COMEDY: Comic Strip (The Office Lounge) Weekly stand-up comedy

GAMES: Dirty South Entertainment Trivia (Ovation 12) See Monday listing for description 8 p.m. FREE! www.dirtysouthtrivia.com KIDSTUFF: Teen Advisory Board (Oconee County Library) Teen Advisory Board (TAB) is a group of teens who gather at the beginning of every month to discuss and plan upcoming events. Ages 11–18. Registration required. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-769-3950 KIDSTUFF: Nerd Herd Hang Out (Oconee County Library) Geek out with other nerds. Grades 6–12. 6 p.m. FREE! www.athenslibrary.org/ oconee MEETINGS: Solarize Athens Area Town Hall (Oconee County Library) This community-led coalition of nonprofit organizations is dedicated to bringing affordable solar power to Athens. 7:30 p.m. FREE! 706548-2756

Tuesday 5 CLASSES: Intro to Word (Oconee County Library) Learn the basics. 2–4 p.m. FREE! 706-769-3950

GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern) See Tuesday listing for full description 8:30 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/blindpigtavern GAMES: Happy Hour Trivia (The Rook and Pawn) See Tuesday listing for full description 5:30–6:30 p.m. FREE! www.therookandpawn.com GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (The Savory Spoon) See Tuesday listing for full description 7 p.m. FREE! 706-367-5721 KIDSTUFF: Kids Night (Buffalo’s Café) See Tuesday listing for full description 5:30–7:30 p.m. FREE! 706-354-6655

Wednesday 6 ART: Tour at Two (Georgia Museum of Art) Led by the museum docents. 2 p.m. FREE! www.georgiamuseum. org EVENTS: Creative Club (Broad 9A) This month’s featured creatives will be Earnest and Blair Greene from the band Washed Out. This workshop is part meet-and-greet, part Ted-style talk, part workshop. 7–9 p.m. $5. www.broad9a.com

40 Watt Club 8 p.m. $5. www.40watt.com NANA GRIZOL Catchy, heartfelt folkpunk band led by former Athenian Theo Hilton. See Calendar Pick on p. 17. TOBY FOSTER Member of Indiana pop-punk band High Dive plays a solo set. WANDA Local indie band that’s equal parts seashore lyrics, ethereal pop hooks and garage guitar, with a sparkle of clarinet and synth. Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 S-WORDS AND FRIENDS Local band playing funky pop-rock with a touch of Southern jam.

Wednesday 23 Blue Sky 5 p.m. FREE! 706-850-3153 VINYL WEDNESDAYS Bring your own records and spin them at the bar! Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 KARAOKE Hosted by karaoke fanatic John “Dr. Fred” Bowers and featuring a large assortment of pop, rock, indie and more. k continued on next page

DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015 · FLAGPOLE.COM

11

THE CALENDAR!

Wednesday, Dec. 23 continued from p. 11

Hi-Lo Lounge 10 p.m. FREE! www.hiloathens.com KARAOKE WITH THE KING Sing your guts out every Wednesday!

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 MINGLEWOOD MONDAY Local artists pay tribute to the Grateful Dead.

Live Wire 8 p.m. FREE! www.livewireathens.com OPEN MIC & LATE NIGHT JAM Drums, keys and amps are provided. Come share your music, jam with other musicians, and have fun!

Tuesday 29 40 Watt Club 8 p.m. $5. www.40watt.com CEILING FAN Straightforward rock and roll from these longtime locals. See Calendar Pick on p. 10. PILGRIM Local rock band led by songwriter Paul McHugh. LOS CANTARES Local desert-rock supergroup featuring members of Old Smokey and Moths. JAY GONZALEZ Solo classic-pop jams from Drive-By Truckers’ keyboardist.

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 MC FUNK JAM Funk all night. The Office Lounge 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0840 KARAOKE With your host Lynn. Every Wednesday! Porterhouse Grill 6:30 p.m. FREE! 706-369-0990 JAZZ NIGHT Enjoy an evening of original music, improv and standards.

The Foundry 8 p.m. $15 (adv.), $20 (door). www. thefoundryathens.com RANDALL BRAMBLETT BAND This established Georgia singersongwriter’s Southern-tinged music pulls from a variety of influences. See Calendar Pick on p. 10.

Room and Cinemechanica. See sidebar on p. 9. NOF-ENSE New local NOFX cover band featuring members of Karbomb.

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 TOM VISIONS Post-mystical, electronic, psychedelic folk music from the artist formerly known as Tom(b) Television. EMILEIGH IRELAND Local singersongwriter and former member of indie-pop group Helen Scott performs. SCOTTY LINGELBACH Macon-based experimental singer-songwriter. GARY EDDY Local psychedelic singer-songwriter plays a solo set. SOCIAL CIRCLE No info available. NAT BROWER New York-based artist who deals in glammy rock and experimental pop.

40 Watt Club 8 p.m. $11 (adv.), $16 (door). www.40watt.com NEW MADRID Rocking, riveting local buzz band with a psychedelic edge. See sidebar on p. 9. MUUY BIIEN Local band plays doomladen goth-punk influenced by ‘80s hardcore and new wave. MOTHERS Local songwriter Kristine Leschper and her band perform gorgeous, intricate folk-pop. GRAND VAPIDS This local altrock band has a dense, dreamy, slowcore-inspired sound.

Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 7 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com KENOSHA KID Centered around the instru-improv jazz compositions of guitarist Dan Nettles, tonight’s ver-

The Foundry 8 p.m. $35 (adv.), $45 (door). www. thefoundryathens.com THE HIGHBALLS Put on your bangle bracelets and tuck in those shoulder pads! Athens music vets The Highballs will perform a totally awesome set of ‘80s dance hits. See sidebar on p. 9.

REDSTONE RAMBLERS Local blues-folk group led by songwriter Mark Wilmot. SHAUN HOPPER Virtuosic fingerstyle guitarist.

Hammond B3 virtuoso who cut his teeth backing Motown legends like Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye. SHAUN HOPPER Virtuosic fingerstyle guitarist.

Lumpkin Street Station 10 p.m. www.facebook.com/ LumpkinStreetStation DANNIEL HUTCHENS & THE SPECTACULAR FAILURES Bloodkin guitarist and his band plays a solo set of soulful Southern rock.

The Office Lounge 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0840 DJ NATE FROM WUXTRY Spinning an all-vinyl set that blends multiple musical styles including soul, funk, rock, pop, new wave and alternative.

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 DANGFLY Local rock band featuring an all-star lineup, including Adam Payne, Shawn Johnson, Jay Rodgers, Scotty Nicholson and Adam Poulin. JOSH PERKINS & THE VOODOO CREW Full-band project from the local musician and studio owner. The Office Lounge 8 p.m. FREE! 706-549-0840 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke! This is a special New Year’s Eve edition.

Jason Thrasher

Saturday 26

The Foundry 7 p.m. $5. www.thefoundryathens.com REPENT AT LEISURE Fun-loving, rowdy, Irish pub band playing traditional as well as modern Irish music.

MAGIC MISSILE Science-obsessed folk-pop band from Athens led by songwriter Jake Mosely and featuring members of Harvey Milk and Lona.

Monday 28 Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 THEO HILTON Nana Grizol frontman returns to town to play a solo set of folky pop-punk. See Calendar Pick on p. 10. MADELINE Bell-voiced songwriter Madeline Adams plays endearing songs of smalltown loves, hopes and other assorted torments and joys. Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com OPEN MIC Showcase your talent at this open mic night every Monday. Hosted by Larry Forte.

12

Highwire Lounge 8 p.m. FREE! www.highwirelounge.com LIVE JAZZ See Saturday’s listing for full description

Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com OPEN MIC See Monday’s listing for full description Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 BLUES NIGHT WITH BIG C Nobody in Athens sings the blues quite like Big C. Expect lots of soulful riffs, covers and originals.

Highwire Lounge 8 p.m. FREE! www.highwirelounge.com LIVE JAZZ Jeremy Raj is bringing together the best that Athens jazz has to offer. A trio of incredibly talented musicians play to a great crowd.

Terrapin Beer Co. 4:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com DJ OSMOSE International touring DJ and Athens resident lays down a set of funk, soul and reggae.

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 DJ MAHOGANY Popular local DJ spins freaky funk, sultry soul, righteous R&B and a whole lotta faves.

Monday 4

Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com THE GREEN FLAG BAND Playing traditional Irish music.

The Office Lounge 8 p.m. 706-546-0840 QUIG AND THE BOYS Local rock band playing old, new, blues and rock with a twist.

The Foundry 8 p.m. $10 (adv.), $13 (door). www. thefoundryathens.com YACHT ROCK SCHOONER Spinoff of the wildly popular smooth-rock cover outfit Yacht Rock Revue.

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 ERIK NEIL BAND See Saturday’s listing for full description

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 KARAOKE See Wednesday’s listing for full description

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 ERIK NEIL BAND Local trio playing blues/rock covers and originals.

Saturday 2

Tuesday 5 The Foundry 6 p.m. FREE! www.thefoundryathens. com OPEN MIC NIGHT Hosted by Rev. Conner Mack Tribble.

Dave Marr plays the Georgia Theatre on Wednesday, Dec. 30. APPALACHIAN RHYTHM A blend of instrumental and vocal tunes in the Appalachian folk and bluegrass traditions. Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 SCOTTY LINGELBACH Macon-based experimental singer-songwriter. BILLBOARD BAGGINS No info available. WHATSFORTEA Antlered Aunt Lord frontman Jesse Stinnard plays a solo set. GARY EDDY Local psychedelic singer-songwriter plays a solo set.

Wednesday 30 Blue Sky 5 p.m. FREE! 706-850-3153 VINYL WEDNESDAYS Bring your own records and spin them! Georgia Theatre 8 p.m. $7. www.georgiatheatre.com HAYRIDE Long-running three-piece local rock band. DAVE MARR The former Star Room Boys singer plays a set of solo material in his deep and resonant country twang.

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015

sion of Kenosha Kid also features Greg Sinibaldi (Wayne Horvitz, Cuong Vu) on saxophone, Jason Nazary (Bear In Heaven, Little Women) on drums and mainstay Robby Handley on bass. Hi-Lo Lounge 10 p.m. FREE! www.hiloathens.com KARAOKE WITH THE KING Sing your guts out every Wednesday! Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 MC FUNK JAM Funk all night. The Office Lounge 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0840 KARAOKE See Wednesday’s listing for full description

Thursday 31 Bar Georgia 10 p.m. 706-850-9040 SLY SPARROW Bluesy pop-rock group from Spartanburg, SC. Caledonia Lounge 9 p.m. www.caledonialounge.com NAIRVANA Nirvana cover band featuring members of The Powder

Georgia Theatre 8 p.m. $20 (adv.), $25 (door). www. georgiatheatre.com FAMILY AND FRIENDS Local folkrock sweethearts featuring anthemic vocals. See sidebar on p. 9. DANA SWIMMER Local band playing a garage rock montage with sweet, soulful undertones. CULTURE CULTURE Synth-pop outfit from Atlanta. Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 KARAOKE Hosted by John “Dr. Fred” Bowers and featuring a large assortment of pop, rock, indie and more. COOMBSBOT Athens-based robot-indisguise regenerates live electronic covers of looped pop classics! Little Kings Shuffle Club 10 p.m. www.facebook.com/lkshuffleclub DJ MAHOGANY Popular local DJ spins freaky funk, sultry soul, righteous R&B and a whole lotta faves. Live Wire 6 p.m. www.livewireathens.com DONNA HOPKINS Soulful, bluesy jams from this Atlanta-based guitarist. See sidebar on p. 9.

Friday 1 The Foundry 8 p.m. $10 (adv.), $13 (door). www. thefoundryathens.com SATISFACTION Acclaimed, touring Rolling Stones tribute band. Go Bar 5 p.m. 706-546-5609 NEW YEAR’S DAY FESTIVAL Featuring The Hernies, T. Hardy Morris, Penny Lame, Din, Lea Lea, Juan de Fuca, Wizard Spoon and Velocirapture. Highwire Lounge 8 p.m. FREE! www.highwirelounge.com LIVE JAZZ See Saturday’s listing for full description Live Wire 7 p.m. FREE! (industry), $5 (nonindustry). www.livewireathens.com IKE STUBBLEFIELD TRIO Soulful R&B artist Ike Stubblefield is a

Wednesday 6 Blue Sky 5 p.m. FREE! 706-850-3153 VINYL WEDNESDAYS Bring your own records and spin them! Boar’s Head Lounge 10 p.m. FREE! 706-369-3040 LEAVING COUNTRIES OPEN MIC JAM Showcase your original material. Contact louisphillippelot@ yahoo.com for booking. Hi-Lo Lounge 10 p.m. FREE! www.hiloathens.com KARAOKE WITH THE KING Sing your guts out every Wednesday! Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 MC FUNK JAM Funk all night. The Office Lounge 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0840 KARAOKE See Wednesday’s listing for full description

Deadline for getting listed in The Calendar is FRIDAY at 5 p.m. for the print issue that comes out the following Wednesday. Online listings are updated daily.

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bulletin board Deadline for getting listed in Bulletin Board is every THURSDAY at 5 p.m. for the print issue that comes out the following Wednesday. Online listings are updated daily. Email calendar@flagpole.com.

Art 41st Annual Juried Exhibition (Lyndon House Arts Center) The annual show will be juried by Jock Reynolds, director of the Yale University Art Gallery. All visual art welcome. Drop off entry forms and up to three works on Jan. 28, 12:30–8:30 p.m. or Jan. 29, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Opening reception on Mar. 24. $25 submission fee. 706613-3623, www.athensclarkecounty. com/lyndonhouse Art Classes (Lyndon House Arts Center) “Black and White Photography� is taught by Chad Osburn. Tuesdays, Jan. 12–Mar. 3, 6–8:30 p.m. “Intro to Printmaking� is taught by Mike Levine. Saturdays, Jan. 12–Feb. 20, 10 a.m.–12 p.m. “Stained Glass� is taught by Marianne Parr. Thursdays, Jan. 14–Feb. 18. 706-613-3623, www.athensclarkecounty.com/ lyndonhouse AthFest Educates Mural Project (Athens, GA) AthFest Educates is commissioning a largescale public mural to commemorate its 20th anniversary. The organization is requesting proposals from youth-serving organizations interested in producing a mural as part of a multi-month arts program, from professional artists who would work with the group, and from local businesses willing to donate a wall space with high visibility. $20,000 budget. Proposals due Jan. 11. 706-5481973, director@athfesteducates.org Call for Artists (Amici) Currently accepting artists for exhibitions. Email samples of work to ryan.myers@amici-cafe.com Deck the Walls (Lyndon House Arts Center) A special exhibition features art available for sale by 70 area artists, authors, crafters and musi-

cians. Through Jan. 6. www.athens clarkecounty.com/lyndonhouse Georgia DOT Art Competition (Athens, GA) The Georgia Department of Transportation is celebrating its 100th anniversary with an art competition open to students in grades K-12 at public, private or home schools in Georgia. The theme is “What Moves You? Imagining Tomorrow’s Transportation.� Written statement and entry form required. Deadline Jan. 22. www.dot.ga.gov/ aboutGDOT/gdotcentennial/ ArtContest OCAF Members at UNG Exhibit (UNG Oconee Campus) The University of North Georgia and the Oconee Cultural Arts Foundation are seeking OCAF artist members to participate in a juried art exhibition at UNG that runs Mar. 3–31. Deadline Jan. 14, 12 p.m. 706-7694565, info@ocaf.com, ung.edu/ art-galleries/contribute Standing with Paris (Lyndon House Arts Center) In honor of the country of France and the city of Paris, Lyndon House Arts Center will open the Painting and Drawing Studio to the community. Tuesdays through December, 5:30–8:30 p.m. lyndonhouseartsfoundation.com Studio Workshop: Printmaking (Georgia Museum of Art) Local artist and educator Brian Hitselberger leads a fourpart workshop for all skill levels. Sessions draw inspiration from the museum’s collections. Thursdays, Jan. 7–28, 6:30–8:30 p.m. $15. 706-542-8863, callan@uga.edu

Auditions Athens Showgirl Cabaret Newbie Show (Go Bar) Audition for Athens Showgirl Cabaret. “Game Night/Movie-TV,� Jan. 13, 6 p.m.

“Fast Food/Toiletries,� Jan. 20, 9 p.m. “The Golden Age/Contestant’s Choice,� Jan. 27, 9 p.m. $3. show girlcabaret@gmail.com

Classes Acting for Film (Film Athens Film Lab) George Adams teaches “Actor’s Gym: The Road to Becoming a Professional Actor.� Topics include creating dynamic characters, working as an actor in film and television, and the creative and business aspects of film. Register online. Wednesdays, 6:30–8:30 p.m. $75/ month. www.filmathens.net/edu Bikram Hot Yoga (Bikram Yoga Athens) Classes in hot yoga are offered seven days a week. www.bikramathens.com Clay Classes (Good Dirt) Weekly “Try Clay� classes ($20/person) introduce participants to the potter’s wheel every Friday from 7–9 p.m. “Family Try Clay� classes show children and adults hand-building methods every Sunday from 2–4 p.m. $20. 706-355-3161, www.gooddirt.net Dance Classes (East Athens Educational Dance Center) Advanced, intermediate and beginning classes available for children and adults. Ballet, modern dance, tap and more are offered. Classes begin Jan. 19. 706-613-3624, athensclarkecounty.com/dance Intro to JavaScript Programming (Four Athens) This code class teaches the most popular programming language in the world. For ages 13 & up. Laptop required. Mondays & Thursdays, Jan. 4–Feb. 11, 6–8 p.m. $225. www.fourathens.com Intro to Ruby on Rails (Four Athens) Instructors will be available inside and outside class hours to

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015

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“Sistersâ€? by Aiyanna Bhuiyan of Cleveland Road Elementary is included in “IMAGINE: Art Works by Students of the Clarke County School District,â€? a group show currently on view at the Lyndon House Arts Center through Sunday, Jan. 17. teach Ruby on Rails. This code class meets Mondays and Thursdays, Jan. 4–Feb. 11. www.fourathens.com/ railscode2 Intro to Web Fundamentals (Four Athens) This four-week course will prepare students for the next level in web/software development. It is recommended as preparation for Javascript, HTML/CSS or Ruby programming classes. Mondays and Thursdays, Jan. 4–28. www.four athens.com/webfundamentals Lunchtime Workout (CinĂŠ BarcafĂŠ) Rebecca Thaw and Jenny Hill Carter host full-body workouts during lunch hour. All skill levels welcome. BYO mat. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 11:45 a.m.–12:45 p.m. $5–10. www.athenscine.com Lunchtime Yoga (CinĂŠ BarcafĂŠ) Margaret Thomas leads Lunchtime Yoga for all levels. BYO mat. Wednesday and Fridays. $5–10. margaretdthomasyoga.blogspot.com Pilates and More (All Body Studio) All Body Studio offers classes in pilates, belly dance and zumba. Check website for classes. www.allbodystudio.com Quilting (Sewcial Studio) Quilting classes for beginner to advanced students cover both traditional and modern projects. sewcialstudio@ gmail.com, www.sewcialstudio.com Salsa Dance Classes (Little Kings Shuffle Club) Cubanstyle salsa dance classes with SALSAthens. No partner necessary. Beginners welcome. Every Wednesday, 7:30-8:30 p.m. $10 (incl. drink). www.facebook.com/ salsaathens Tarot Workshop (Body, Mind & Spirit) Learn how to connect with a tarot deck using symbology, numer-

ology and colors. Saturdays, Jan. 23–Mar. 30, 12–3 p.m. $30/week or $200 (adv.), $250 for full course. 706-351-6024 Traditional Karate Training (Athens Yoshukai Karate) Learn traditional Yoshukai karate in a positive atmosphere. Accepting new students. Classes held Sundays– Thursdays. FREE! www.athensy.com Women, Whimsy & Soul (Spa Alchemy) A circle for women seeking lighthearted connections. Third Friday of every month. $15. www.alchemyathens.com Yoga (Rubber Soul Yoga) Ongoing classes in Kundalini, Hatha, gentle yoga, laughing yoga, acroyoga, karate and one-on-one yoga as well as guided meditation. Check website for schedule. Donation based. www.rubbersoulyoga.com Yoga Classes (Chase Street Yoga) This studio teaches different types of yoga like gentle yoga, yin yoga and power heated Vinyasa, plus Zumba and Pilates. 706-316-9000, www. chasestreetyoga.com Yoga Classes (Keep it Simple Yoga, 1961 Barnett Shoals Rd.) This studio offers various classes to accomodate all practitioners. www.kisyoga.com Yoga Teacher Training (Keep it Simple Yoga) Keep it Simple Yoga and Yogaful Day (Bill Cottrell) offer a 200-hour training program through Yoga Alliance. Saturdays, Jan. 23–May 21, 12–8 p.m. $1650. www. yogafulday.com, www.kisyoga.com Yoga Teacher Training (Athens Yoga Institute, 1260 S. Milledge Ave.) Get certified at the 200-hour level with Yoga Alliance. Twelve month and 7.5 week options. www. athensyogainstitute.com

Help Out Bigger Vision (Bigger Vision Shelter) Bigger Vision is seeking volunteers to stay overnight at the shelter. Volunteers arrive at 9 p.m., sleep upstairs and arise at 5:30 a.m. to help with breakfast. Must be 21 years old or older. 706-338-4707, www.biggervisionshelter.org Committee of 1000 (Athens, GA) The Athens Area Habitat for Humanity can build a $67,000 home if 1,000 people pitch in $67. Check out the website for information on how to join the committee. pr@ athenshabitat.com, www.athens habitat.com/donate Community connection (Athens, GA) Community Connection of Northeast Georgia assists volunteers in finding flexible service opportunities at various organizations. Over 130 local agencies seek help with ongoing projects and special short-term events. Visit the website for a calendar and to register. www.communityconnection 211.org Disabled American Veterans Network (Athens, GA) Seeking volunteers to drive VA furnished vehicles to transport vets living with disabilities to local clinics and Augusta hospitals. Weekdays, 8 a.m.–5 p.m., once or twice a month. Call Edward, 706-340-0544 Hands On Athens Hands On Athens, a program of the AthensClarke Heritage Foundation, is looking for volunteers to lead or assist with home repair and carpentry projects. HOA offers home repairs to low-income homeowners. 706-3531801, handsonathens.weebly.com

Kidstuff Districtwide Open House Attend an open house for the Clarke County Schools. Elementary Schools, Monday, Jan. 12. Middle Schools, Thursday, Jan. 15. High Schools, Tuesday, Jan. 13. RSVP. www.clarke.k12.ga.us Hoiday Mini Camp (Lay Park) “Winter Holiday Blast” offers crafts, cooking activities and games. Dec. 28–30, 9 a.m.–4 p.m. $25. Ages 6–12. www.athensclarkecounty.com/ leisure Sportstime (Multiple Locations) Players will be introduced to basketball, football, golf, kickball, lacrosse, soccer and more. Ages 3–4. Thursdays, Jan. 28–Feb. 25 (Lay Park) or Fridays, Jan. 29–Feb. 26 (East Athens Community Center). www.athensclarkecounty.com/leisure The Heroines Club (1161 Long Rd.) A monthly mother-daughter empowerment circle based on the sharing of real-life heroines and women’s history. The “Little Sisters” Circle is for ages 7–10. The “Big Sisters” Circle is for ages 11–14. $25. www.themotherdaughternest. com Youth Sports Program Registration (Multiple Locations) Now registering. Youth basketball for ages 6–13 at East Athens Community Center. Jan. 12–Feb. 20. $65–98. Tennis for ages

5–16 at the Athens-Clarke County Tennis Center and Bishop Park. Feb. 22–Mar. 31. $50–140. www.athens clarkecounty.com/leisure

Support Groups Alanon (540 Prince Ave.) Alanon: a 12 step recovery program for those affected by someone else’s drinking. Noon to evening meetings on most days. FREE! www.ga-al-anon.org Alcoholics Anonymous (Athens, GA) If you want to drink, that’s your business. If you want to stop, we can help. 706-389-4164 Amputee Support Group (ACC Library) All are welcome. Meets every first Thursday of the month. Contact Reyna, 706-498-4313 Emotions Anonymous (Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Athens) A 12-step program open to anyone with a desire to become well emotionally. Meets Sundays, 4–5 p.m. 706-202-7463, www.emotions anonymous.org Overeaters Anonymous (Multiple Locations) A 12-step program for everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. Meetings are held on Saturdays at 10:30 a.m. at Princeton Methodist Church, Sundays at 3:30 p.m. at Covenant Presbyterian Church, and Tuesdays at 5:15 p.m. at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Athens. www.oa.org

art around town AMICI (233 E. Clayton St.) Watercolor paintings of local scenes by Jamie Calkin. Through January. ANTIQUES & JEWELS ART GALLERY (290 N. Milledge Ave.) New paintings by Mary Porter, Greg Benson, Chatham Murray, Candle Brumby, Lana Mitchell and more. ART ON THE SIDE GALLERY AND GIFTS (17 N. Main St., Watkinsville) A gallery featuring works by various artists in media including ceramics, paintings and fused glass. ATHENS ACADEMY (1281 Spartan Lane) In the Myers Gallery, view “Living in History” by Aaron Hequembourg. Through Jan. 22. • In the Harrison Center for the Arts & Preschool’s Lobby Gallery, “Mentor/Mentee” features the work of professors and students from UGA’s Lamar Dodd School of Art. Through May 20. BENDZUNAS GLASS (89 W. South Ave., Comer) The family-run studio has been creating fine art glass for almost 40 years. BLACK PETTICOAT (297 Prince Ave.) Artwork by Thea Grindeland. Through December. CINÉ BARCAFE (234 W. Hancock Ave.) “All Walks” by Jennifer Hartley depicts portraits of dog walkers and their canine companions. Through Jan. 18. THE CLASSIC CENTER (300 N. Thomas St.) In Classic Gallery I, “Hello, Neighbor” features artwork by Terry Rowlett, Michelle Fontaine, René Shoemaker and Michael Ross. In Classic Gallery II, “Tableau” features works by Mary Ruth Moore, Michael Oliveri, Ally White and Otto Lange. CREATURE COMFORTS BREWING CO. (271 W. Hancock Ave.) Three large-scale mural paintings by Maria Nissan contain densely overlapping geometric patterns in vibrant and expressive colors. Through December. DONDERO’S KITCHEN (590 N. Milledge Ave.) See 80 self portraits by first graders at Chase Street Elementary. Through December. EARTH FARE (1689 S. Lumpkin St.) Paintings and portraits by Jacqueline Dorsey. Through December. FARMINGTON DEPOT GALLERY (1011 Salem Rd., Farmington) Owned and staffed by 14 artists, the gallery exhibits paintings, sculpture, folk art, ceramics and fine furniture. Permanent collection artists include Matt Alston, John Cleaveland, Peter Loose and more. • C. Larry Wilson creates whimsical animal sculptures in clay. Through December. FLANIGAN’S PORTRAIT STUDIO (585 Vine St., Suite 4) Artwork by Byron Deshaun Culbreth. Through December. FLICKER THEATRE & BAR (263 W. Washington St.) Artwork by Hana Hay and Kayla Cox. Through December. • Artwork by Annelie Klein. Through January. GALLERY@HOTEL INDIGO (500 College Ave.) “Day for Night” includes works by Eve Nettles, Hope Hilton, Zipporah Thompson, Clay Jordan, Donald Cope, Saegan Moran and Eileen Wallace. Through Jan. 6. GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART (90 Carlton St.) “Before the March King: 19th-Century American Bands.” Through Jan. 3. • “In Time We Shall Know Ourselves: Photography by Raymond Smith.” Through Jan. 3. • “Samurai, The Way of the Warrior” includes swords, helmets, suits of arms and more. Through Jan. 3. • “Georgia’s Girlhood Embroidery: ‘Crowned with Glory and Immortality.’” Through Feb. 28. • “George Segal: Everyday Apparitions.” Through Mar. 6. • In the Jane and Harry Willson Sculpture Garden, “Twists and Turns: Sculptures by Alice Aycock” includes two sculptures, “Waltzing Matilda” and “Twin Vortexes.” Through Sept. 4.

Reiki (ARMC Loran Smith Center for Cancer Support) Experience the healing energy of Reiki, an ancient form of healing touch used for stress reduction and relaxation. For cancer patients, their families and caregivers. Call for an appointment. Individual sessions held every Wednesday, 6 p.m. & 7 p.m. FREE! 706-475-4900 S-Anon (Cornerstone Church) S-Anon is a support group for family and friends of sexaholics, based on the 12 steps of AA. sunday. afternoons.sanon@gmail.com, www.sanon.org SLPAA (Campus View Church of Christ) Sex, Love and Pornography Addicts Anonymous is a 12-step program for sexually compulsive behaviors. Every Monday, 7:30–8:30 p.m. 706-372-8642 The Legacy Circle: A Monthly Women’s Empowerment Journey (The Mother-Daughter Nest, 1161 Long Rd.) Practice the art of sacred self-care and support your own personal growth. First Sunday of every month at 2 p.m. $15. www. themotherdaughternest.com Women’s Empowerment Group (Oasis Counseling Center) A small therapeutic group for women to work on vulnerability, assertiveness, self-care and more. Eight-week sessions. Thursdays, 6:30–8 p.m. Call to reserve a space. $15/session. 706-543-3522, www.oasis counselingcenter.com

On The Street Bridge (Athens Bridge Center) Open Duplicate Bridge Games are held Tuesdays at 1 p.m., Wednesdays at 7 p.m. and Fridays at 1 p.m. Non-Life Master (Beginner) Duplicate Bridge Games are held Wednesdays at 1 p.m. Party Bridge is held Thursdays at 1 p.m. All games $5. 706-2484809 Bring One for the Chipper: Christmas Tree Recycling (Multiple Locations) Keep AthensClarke County Beautiful (KACCB) encourages citizens to recycle their undecorated trees and wreaths on Jan. 2, 9 a.m.–1 p.m. Participants will receive a free tree seeding and/ or flower and vegetable seed packets. See Calendar Pick on p. 10 for locations. 706-613-3501 ext. 309, accbintern@gmail.com Ice Skating (The Classic Center) The Classic Center will offer ice skating in an indoor rink through Jan. 12, then in the outdoor pavilion Jan. 16–Feb. 28. $10–12. www.classiccenter.com Ripple Effect Film Project (Athens, GA) Filmmakers are invited to create short films about water conservation and stewardship. Finalists will be screened on Mar. 19. Visit website for official rules and entry form. $1,000 in cash prizes. Deadline Feb. 6. www.ripple effectfilmproject.org f

GLASSCUBE@INDIGO (500 College Ave.) “Scatterfield” by Zane Cochran is a large-scale interactive installation with 3,000 LEDs capable of producing over 16 million different colors. Through December. THE GRIT (199 Prince Ave.) Artwork by Jill Carnes and Edna Lorri Shipp. Through Jan. 3. HEIRLOOM CAFÉ (815 N. Chase St.) Artwork by Jen Holt. Through December. HENDERSHOT’S COFFEE BAR (237 Prince Ave.) Artwork by Jamie Calkin and Leonard Piha. Through December. • Artwork by Ruth Allen. Through January. JUST PHO…AND MORE (1063 Baxter St.) Silk wall hangings and paintings by Margaret Agner. Through December. LAST RESORT GRILL (174 W. Clayton St.) “Artful Reminders,” paintings by Heidi Hensley, focus on local landmarks and views of the University. Keith P. Rein’s mixed media work also features Athens and UGA themes. Through Jan. 1. LOWERY IMAGING GALLERY (2400 Booger Hill Rd., Danielsville) The gallery features paper and canvas giclee prints by Athens artists as well as artists’ renderings of Athens. Jamie Calkin is the featured artist through December. LYNDON HOUSE ARTS CENTER (293 Hoyt St.) “IMAGINE: Art Works by Students of the Clarke County School District.” Through Jan. 17. • In the Lounge Gallery, view cut paper and collaged drawings by Adrienne Kitchens. Through Feb. 1. MADISON COUNTY LIBRARY (1315 GA-98, Danielsville) See an entire collection of Christmas tree brooches. Through December. OCONEE COUNTY LIBRARY (1080 Experiment Station Rd., Watkinsville) “Between Women and Children” features “Miniature World” mixed media assemblages by Lisa Freeman. Through December. RICHARD B. RUSSELL JR. SPECIAL COLLECTIONS LIBRARIES (300 S. Hull St.) An exhibit featuring original manuscripts, engravings, maps and natural specimens are presented in conjunction with the 250th anniversary of John and William Bartram’s natural history expedition. Through Dec. 23. • An exhibition celebrating The Pennington Radio Collection features tube radios, external speakers and other artifacts from 1913–1933. Through December. • “Seeing Georgia: Changing Visions of Tourism and the Modern South” includes photos, postcards, artifacts and other ephemera representing six Georgia tourism sites with histories of political and cultural battles. Through July. SEWCIAL STUDIO (2500 W. Broad St. #305) Hand-dyed art quilts by Anita Heady. Rust and over-dyed fabric on canvas by Bill Heady. SWEET SPOT STUDIO GALLERY (160 Tracy St., Mercury A.I.R.) The gallery presents paintings, ceramics, sculpture, drawings, furniture, folk art and jewelry from artists including Fain Henderson, Michelle Dross, Veronica Darby, John Cleaveland, Rebecca Wood, Nikita Raper, Natalia Zuckerman, Briget Darryl Ginley, Jack Kashuback, Barret Reid, Camille Hayes, Jason Whitley and Ken Hardesty. • “Deep” features new paintings of coastal seas, shipwrecks, sea creatures and beaches by Veronica Darby. WHITE TIGER (217 Hiawassee Ave.) Watercolor images by Jamie Calkin and metal works by Leonard Piha. THE WORLD FAMOUS (351 N. Hull St.) Permanent artists include RA Miller, Chris Hubbard, Travis Craig, Michelle Fontaine, Dan Smith, Greg Stone and more. • “I’m in the Band” by Michael Lachowski, a collection of paper works partially illuminated by black light, were created from the point of view of being a member of the music scene. Several were created in response to Pylon’s songs. Reception Jan. 7. Through Jan. 10.

Lunch, Dinner & Weekend Brunch

Celebrate the close of a great year with us

New Years Day Dinner

3 courses and a glass of bubbly, $50 $ 15 for wine pairings Start the New Year out right with

New Years Day Brunch 11:00-3:00

Heirloom will be closed from 3:00 on Christmas Eve until 5:30 on New Years Eve. Happy Holidays!

706.354.7901

Corner of Chase and Boulevard

heirloomathens.com

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DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015 · FLAGPOLE.COM

15

classifieds

Buy It, Sell It, Rent It, Use It! Place an ad anytime at classifieds.flagpole.com

 Indicates images available at classifieds.flagpole.com

Real Estate Apartments for Rent

2/3/4 BRs w/ great amenities. Walking distance to downtown and campus, starting at just $475/mo. per person. Reserve yours today! Visit WhistleburyProperties. com or call (706) 5430320.

1BR Baldwin Village, 475 Baldwin St. Directly next to campus. Avail. J a n u a r y. N o r m a l l y $520, will lease for $460/mo. Furnished or unfurnished. Water incl. Contact MikeHar4@ yahoo.com.

Beautiful studio, 1 & 2 BR apts. in quiet complex on S. Milledge Ave. Newly renovated w/ great floor plans. Just steps to UGA and Athens bus stops. Lots of extras incl. Flexible lease terms. Ask about our winter and fall prelease specials. Argo Apartment Community, 2091 S. Milledge. (706) 353-1111, www.argoathens.com. Happy Holidays from Flagpole! Eastside quadraplex, 2BR/2BA, $500/mo. & 2BR/1BA, $475/ mo. Eastside duplex, 2BR/1BA & FP, $525/ mo. 3BR/2BA & FP, $700/mo. Call McWaters Realty: (706) 353-2700 or cell: (706) 540-1529.

flagpole classifieds Reach Over 30,000 Readers Every Week! Business Services Real Estate Music For Sale

Employment Vehicles Messages Personals

BASIC RATES* Individual Real Estate Business (RTS) Run-‘Til-Sold** Online Only***

$10 per week $14 per week $16 per week $40 per 12 weeks $5 per week

* Ad enhancement prices are viewable at flagpole.com ** Run-‘Til-Sold rates are for MERCHANDISE ONLY *** Available for individual rate categories only

PLACE AN AD • At flagpole.com, pay with credit card or PayPal account • Call our Classifieds Dept. (706) 549-0301 • Email us at class@flagpole.com

Commercial Property

Houses for Rent

Eastside Offices for lease. 1060 Gaines School Rd. 1325 sf. $1400/mo. 1200 sf. $1200/mo. 750 sf. $850/ mo. 150 sf. furnished incl. util. $400/mo. (706) 202-2246 www. athenstownproperties. com.

Condos for Rent 3BR/3BA Condo ready for Dec 2015 Move In! Gated Woodlands community. $450/Mo./ Rm. Call (706) 3767145. Just reduced! Investor’s West-side condo. 2BR/2BA, FP, 1500 sf., great investment, lease 12 mos. at $575/mo. Price in $40s. For more i n f o , c a l l M c Wa t e r s Realty: (706) 353-2700 or (706) 540-1529. The Flagpole Office will be closed December 21–28. Visit classifieds. flagpole.com or email class@flagpole.com to place an ad.

2BR/1BA. Tucked in the woods, 5 miles north of downtown. W/D hookup. Lawn care incl. Fenced yard. CHAC. $550/mo. plus sec. dep. Avail. Jan. Evenings (706) 424-1571. 2BR/1BA house on Holman Ave. Finished attic, DR, W/D, DW, basement. Huge fenced-in yard and screened-in porch. Avail. Jan. $875/mo. (706) 2480448. 3BR/2BA: nice, large rooms, completely renovated, $850/mo. 1yr lease, $800/mo. 2yr lease. Colbert/Madison C o u n t y. 3 B R / 1 B A : nice, newly renovated, $650/mo. incl. water, Danielsville/Madison County. Tom (706) 2471259. 4BR/4.5BA plush house located near UGA softball complex. Blackmon Shoals subdivision. HWflrs, granite tops, tile, W/D. $1800/mo. Affordable college community. Avail. now. (706) 202-0123.

AVAILABLE NOW!

RIVERS EDGE 3 BED / 2 BATH

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015

Historic home on 5 acres in Athens! 4959 Barnett Shoals. Guest cottage as well as main house. Old cinderblock dair y bar n plus two other wooden structures. Beautiful country setting minutes from Athens. Agricultural/residential zoning, special use as B&B. Donna Smith Fee, (706) 296-5717, KWGA (706) 316-2900, donnafee@kw.com. Sell you house with Flagpole Classifieds! Call us at (706) 5490301 for more info.

Roommates Roommate needed immediately for house just outside of Downtown Athens. Preferably employed, no short-term please. W/D, screened porch. $250/mo. Call today! Voice calls only: (706) 548-9744.

COMMERCIAL OFFICES AVAILABLE NOW!

4150 ATHENS HWY/441 S. MADISON

U $

1200

LARGE COMMERCIAL SPACE WITH ADDITIONAL 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT

C. Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

www.athens-ga-rental.com

For Sale Antiques A r c h i p e l a g o Antiques: The best of past trends in design and art! 1676 S. Lumpkin St. Open daily 9:30 a.m.–5 p.m. (706) 354-4297.

Music Equipment Nuçi’s Space needs your old instruments & music gear! All donations are tax-deductible. Call (706) 227-1515 or come by Nuçi’s Space, 396 Oconee St.

Instruction Athens School of Music. Instruction in guitar, bass, drums, piano, voice, brass, woodwinds, strings, banjo, mandolin, fiddle & more. From beginner to expert. Instrument repairs avail. Visit www. athensschoolofmusic. com, (706) 543-5800.

Music Services

Band Merch! 100 Screen Printed T-Shirts For Your Band, Only $395 with Free Shipping. Call (404) 9193731 or visit www. scrappymusic.com.

Do you offer a musical service? Advertise here! Low weekly rates! Call (706) 549-0301 today!

706-613-9001 www.athens-ga-rental.com

(NEXT TO GEORGIA SQUARE MALL)

16

Houses for Sale

C. Hamilton & Associates

DOUBLE TREE PLACE U $750 • Deadline to place ads is 11:00 a.m. every Monday for the following Wednesday issue • All ads must be prepaid • Set up an account to review your placement history or replace old ads at flagpole.com

Newly renovated in Blvd. 2BR/1BA. Brand new heat and AC. Building exterior/interior will be painted. HWflrs. W/D hookups, working FP. We pay all maint./yard. No undergraduates. Pets considered. Offstreet parking. Avail. Jan. 1. $800/mo. (706) 202-9805.

3 Blocks from UGA & Downtown Newly Renovated Fitness & Gameroom Pool with Sundeck & Grilling 1 to 4 Bedroom Flats/Townhomes Goodie Two Shoes Lunch Monday-Friday 909 Broad Street · Athens, GA 706.227.6222 www.909broad.com

Elder Tree Farms

BACKYARD CHICKEN RENTAL

in Athens. Everything you need to get fresh eggs daily in your backyard - 2 hens, moveable coop, feeder, & water container. Available for 4 week intervals. Sign up now!

www.eldertreefarm.com

Instant cash is now being paid for good vinyl records & CDs in fine condition.Wuxtry Records, at corner of Clayton & College Dwntn. (706) 369-9428.

Services Cleaning Peachy Green Clean Co-op, your local friendly Green Clean! Free estimates w/ rates as low as $39. (706) 248-4601, peachy greencleancoop.com. She said, “My house is a wreck.” I said, “ T h a t ’s w h a t I d o ! ” House cleaning, help w/ organizing, pet mess. Local, Independent and Earth Friendly. Text or call Nick for a quote (706) 851-9087.

Legal Services Music, Entertainment, Art, Intellectual Property & Litigation Attorney. Reasonable rates. Office in Bottleworks. (706) 521-3991. www. mcculloughlegal.com.

Printing S e l f P u b l i s h Yo u r Book. Complete local, professional publishing service. Editing, design, layout and printing services. 25 years experience. (706) 3954874.

Jobs Full-time Big City Bread Cafe is now accepting applications for our bread/pastry department. Experience with pastry and baking preferred. Please apply in person. No phone calls please. Line/Prep Cooks Needed.The Georgia Center has several positions available 20–40 hrs./week. Pay DOE/Minimum 3 years in full service restaurant. Email resumes to robh@ uga.edu. Gettin’ outta town? Don’t miss the weekly goodness of a freshly cracked Flagpole full of news from back home. Subscribe: $40 for 6 mo., $70 for a yr.! Call (706) 549-0301.

Jobs Wanted 5 Points Prep Now Hiring Tutors: All grade levels: Reading, Writing, Math, Science, History, Languages. Test Prep: SAT/ACT, GRE/ GMAT/LSAT/MCAT. To apply, contact Dr. Lisa Barrett at 5pointsprep@ gmail.com.

Part-time Get paid to type! SBSA is a financial transcription company offering PT positions. Create your own schedule. Competitive production-based pay. Close to campus! Must be able to touch-type 65 wpm & have excellent English grammar/ comprehension skills. Visit our website to apply: www.sbsath.com. Graduate Athens Spa seeking experienced N a i l Te c h n i c i a n s , Estheticians and Massage Therapists. Cross-trained a plus. Competitive pay, flexible hours. Apply online at: graduateathens.com/ careers. Find your next great employee with Flagpole Classifieds! Call (706) 549-0301 for ad rates. Project Safe, provides services to families affected by domestic violence. They are hiring for the PT position of Shelter Advocate. Responsibilities include: evening/overnight/ weekend hotline coverage, shelter operation. Send cover letter and resume to the Associate Director: tlbeard@project-safe. org. No phone calls please. EOE.

Vehicles Motorcycles 2002 Ducatii Monster motorcycle. Runs excellent. Many new p a r t s . N e w b a t t e r y, new Michelin radials. $3950, firm. (404) 7906996.

Notices Lost and Found Found: Silver ring with oval-set gem stone. Dropped on Prince Ave. Turned in and held at the Flagpole front desk. 220 Prince Ave. (706) 549-0301.

Messages Send a special m e s s a g e through Flagpole Classifieds. Some announcements can be placed for free! Call (706) 549-0301 or email class@flagpole. com for details.

Pets Lost or found cat or dog? Place a classified ad with us for free! class@ flagpole.com for more info.

\ / -->*<-/_\ /_\_\ /_/_/_\ /_\_\_\ /_/_/_/_\ /_\_\_\_\ /_/_/_/_/_\ /_\_\_\_\_\ /_/_/_/_/_/_\ /_\_\_\_\_\_\ /_/_/_/_/_/_/_\ [___] Happy Holidays Athens! M Flagpole

PAIN & WONDER

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(706) 208-9588

285 W. Washington St. Athens, GA 30601

www.painandwonder.com



Edited by Margie E. Burke

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Copyright 2015 by The Puzzle Syndicate

HOW TO SOLVE:     Week of 12/21/15 - 12/27/15

The Weekly Crossword 1

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ACROSS 1 Street performer 5 Birthstone after sapphire 9 Big do 13 One who goes for the gold? 14 Hamster's home 15 Initiation, e.g. 16 Role player 17 Money manager 19 Attracted 20 Historic Virginia family 21 Newspaper nickname 22 Bamboozle 23 Fly larva 24 Cocktail party serving 25 Take in 27 Cloud 29 "___ say!" 30 Sore spot 31 Aspersion 32 Musical sign 33 Betraying clumsiness 36 Tab 39 Finger, in a way 40 Glyceride, e.g. 44 A Gershwin brother 45 Agree 46 Heir's concern 47 Woman chaser

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Solution26to Sudoku:         33     38       45  48             

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Copyright 2015 by The Puzzle Syndicate

49 Was on the bottom? 50 Pot pie morsel 51 Bargaining group 52 Moody 54 Wren or hen 55 Affectation 57 Inclined 58 "Good grief!" 59 Cantina cooker 60 "The ___ of Wakefield" 61 "I, Claudius" role 62 Alliance 63 Black shade DOWN 1 Tiny organism 2 Like some stares 3 ___ Mix 4 "To ___ is human ..." 5 Santa's reindeer, e.g. 6 Peel with a knife 7 A long time 8 Grazing locale 9 Collegiate footballer in LA 10 Postal option 11 Church topper 12 Feminine pronoun

13 Like the Marx Brothers 18 Telephone button 20 Court ploy 23 Cold one 24 Morsel for Muffet 26 Locket shape 27 Hold responsible 28 Attraction 31 Q-Tip 32 Dermatologist's concern 34 Jersey, e.g. 35 "___ we forget..." 36 Asphalt ingredient 37 Tool-making time 38 Layered 41 Type of pudding 42 Enduring 43 Library patron 45 Seymour of "Dr. Quinn" 46 Canal locale 48 Complex unit 49 Poison plant 52 Pickle flavoring 53 1952 Olympics site 54 Get-up-and-go 56 Reiner or Lowe 57 Pipe material

Puzzle answers are available at www.flagpole.com/puzzles

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DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015 · FLAGPOLE.COM

19

Let’s Get Slack

flagpole Readers Work so We Don’t Have To Thanks, Y’all!

O

nce again, our talented Athenians have come through with far more than we could use in this edition of Slackpole. Thanks to all who contributed. Athens is rich in writers and other artists, and your generosity in sharing your talent makes it easier for our hardworking Flagpole staff to take off for the week of Christmas. We’ll thank those who helped write this issue while we visit with family and friends, and we’ll be back on the job in time to put out the next Flagpole on Jan. 6. Meanwhile, this double issue will be restocked on the newsstands and will be around to inform and entertain you during the holidays.

3. Creatures of habit. Happy hour is one of my favorite ways to wind the day down. Around five o’clock, the slant in the shadows points the way to the pub, and I begin to long for not just an adult beverage but also an adult conversation with like-minded people. Almost every one of my barroom pals enjoys the same ritual of watching those shadows fade over a pint and a joke, my spouse included. When the shadows have won the day, it’s time to go home and make dinner, watch “Parks and Rec,” then go to sleep with a smile. Until tomorrow.

conversational inhibitions. Besides listening to all of the crazy stories, embarrassing moments, personal likes and dislikes, opinions on movies, politics, religion and so on, you can otherwise deduce a lot if you are just a little observant. For example: What does your potential spouse like to drink? Are they “top shelf,” from the well, or somewhere in between? Does s/he order the complicated cocktails, or does s/he like a shot and a beer? How much does your future spouse drink: one, two, three or more rounds? Can s/he “handle” his/ her liquor, or does the bartender have a cab on dial? How does s/he behave when tipsy: angry, sad or completely kissable (not necessarily the best pick)? And finally, what kind of customer is s/he? Does s/he under-tip, over-tip, argue with the barkeep over the bill or sometimes not pay at all? These can all be indicators of what kind of life s/he leads outside the bar and how the two of you would potentially lead one together—or not. In a business sense, bars sell alcohol for a profit. In almost every other sense, bars are communal places. The bar is a very specific place one goes to, because it is a anchorage of generally shared values and sentiments where “everybody knows your name,” not so unlike church, where so many of us have been told we can meet a “nice boy or girl.” As a final word of caution and as a bit of a disclaimer, this is not a guarantee but, instead, comes with all the luck of love and chance of romance that you will find anywhere else. Cheers and best wishes!

4. The pressure is off In referring back to advantage No. 1, this encounter was not premeditated. There is, therefore, neither the formalized pressure of a date, nor the risk of blowing, if you will, the chance at a one-night-stand. There is only the familiar setting, familiar faces and just enough time for another round if you find yourself becoming interested or curious.

Game Day

Find a Spouse at the Bar By Amanda Nix

Jacob Wenzka and Nick Zorn

Notice I said the bar, and not a bar. The difference sets the circumstance. The bar is at least a somewhat habitual haven from the world of work and worry that requires cautious stewardship if you want it to remain a refuge. A bar is for hunting. If you do this at your own bar, you will likely make a mess of its serenity. So, hopefully, the very first advantage is:

1. You never considered your potential spouse to be prey. You weren’t on the hunt; you were only getting a drink at the friendly watering hole. You weren’t trying to kill it—it just happened to sit next to you during the Braves game and completely confused you with the way it smelled and the funny noise it made. 2. Common ground is established immediately. My eighth-grade history teacher would keep a secret bottle of whiskey in his desk drawer. My great-grandfather would take down an entire 12–ounce can of beer in one gulp the very moment my great-grandmother wasn’t looking. Many drinkers like vodka specifically because its odor is difficult to detect, especially when mixed with fruit juice. When you meet your potential spouse at the bar, the fact that you both drink is never a secret.

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015

5. You can learn a lot this way. This is absolutely the most important advantage, and could probably be broken down into several advantages on its own. Again, there isn’t as much pressure to impress, there isn’t a need to poach or guard against being poached, and sometimes a pint or two is just enough to lift

By Bowen Craig

Even if you hate college football, if you live in this town, you have to put a big red “X” on your calendar for game day in Athens. Even if your passion in life is studying the fashion accessories of the bubonic plague, playing the mandolin under a drooping tree to seduce enthralled dewy maidens or full-contact origami, you can’t live in Athens and not feel the ripple effects of a home game at Sanford Stadium. Statues know when it’s game day in Athens. Chickens know when it’s game day in Athens. Parasites tailgate on game day. They just have a different flavor of barbecue sauce.

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2. Santa knows if you’ve been bad or good. Police, however, need an articulable suspicion in order to detain you. If they don’t have one, then with them a Merry Christmas and be on your way. 3. Santa would NEVER consent to a search of his sled or his person. And neither should you. EVER.

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Have you ever driven around this town when there’s a home game? I’d recommend trying this to even the most jaded teenage rebel hipster. 1. Drive around before the game. The tents are up, the college girls are dressed like uppermiddle-class porn stars in the first two minutes of the movie, the people who own stock in the company that makes Adirondack chairs are smiling, the boys are still hours away from vomiting, the sausages are almost cooked, and the alumni have firmly taken control of their nostalgiafueled time warps. Tailgating is a beautiful sight. The aftermath may be tragic and sad and less environmentally friendly than styrofoam diapers, but when it’s in full swing, tailgating is a thing to behold. (The rest of the country may still call us the Bible Belt, and with some good reason, but they don’t realize that college football is the South’s true religion. That’s not just some throw-away euphemism. Dawg fans know the players’ origin stories, their physical attributes, their girlfriends’ names, their dates of birth and, thanks to the insidious effects of social media, their ridiculous adolescent thoughts about life. Our feelings about college football aren’t nearly as far removed from the story of Moses and John the Baptist as the unlearned might assume. The fact that college football players have a shorter shelf-life than even professional players only makes it more endearing to the congregants/fans, too. Methuselah had 969 years to cement his legacy. Herschel Walker got three. You tell me which one is more impressive.) Watching a tailgate party is inspirational, even for people who prefer The Weather Channel to ESPN. 2. Drive around during the game. Athens is a damn ghost town during a home game. When tens of thousands of people are crammed into the stadium, this town is like a recently deserted carnival spot, a large dot in a littered field, where the circus tents

they’re sober. If I were an economist, I’d figure out how much money we make annually from the post-home-game spending spree. It’s probably Athens’ third most profitable industry. We should just create a giant, buried, moving sidewalk from the stadium to downtown that rises up from the ground halfway into the fourth quarter. We do everything we can to funnel people there after a game, anyway. Let’s drop the pretense and just get people to the bars faster. One-third of our local economy is loosely based on the hazy idea of middle-aged alums reliving their college years. We just don’t come out and say it. Maybe we should. I’m not actually advising you to go to a game. Go, if you want, or don’t. I don’t care. It’s Athens, so you probably should do it at least once, even if you hate football, but I’m not talking about the game itself. I’m talking about the nearly magical way that our little town transforms itself on game day. It’s an incredible transformative process. It’s enough to make Optimus Prime defect to the Decepticons. Mark your calendars ahead of time. Cordon off at least one Saturday a year in your mental calendar, and take my advice. All you need is an open mind, a working car, two functioning eyes and a quarter of a tank of gas.

Christmas, ‘81 By Eddie Whitlock

“We got you something you had said you wanted,” my mama told me on the phone. “Excellent!” I thought. I wanted a lot of things, but if they had actually gotten me something I wanted, maybe this would be a decent Christmas after all. It was 1981, and I was living in an apartment within a pink stucco on Springdale Street, finishing up my degree at UGA and working nights at WGAU. It was an AM station that played middle-of-the-road music, the Metropolitan Opera and the CBS Radio Mystery Theater.

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had been housing elephants, the otherwise unemployable unwashed masses and multiple displays of prize-winning tomatoes just days ago. I went to Target once during a home game and saw double the number of Target employees to Target customers, the inverse of the usual ratio. The checkout girls were talking to each other. There was no line. I was one of the only two male Target shoppers who wasn’t, at the time, in a papoose strapped to the torso of a new mother. On the other hand, I’ve also been to Earth Fare during a home game. It’s not as packed as it usually is, but Earth Fare has a hippie magnetism that attracts Athenians who care more about organic gardening and the legalization of same-sex dog marriage than they do football, and so there were actual lines at the registers. Drive around during a home game. You can pretty much get away with anything. You can drag-race up and down Milledge Avenue. You can knock over a liquor store. You can go streaking at the mall. Athens feels more like an abandoned silver mining Nevada boomtown than a thriving college town during a home game. 3. Drive around a little after a game. I’d approach this one a little more gingerly. Yes, it’s important to see the after-effects of our town’s biggest party/industry/barbecue/nostalgia binge/cultural happening/mock war-game, but it’s also important not to let all the assembled garbage get you down. Drunks are messy. That’s just the way it is. Drunks are messy, but when they’re wasted, money also means less to them than it does when

I had moved into this place in the fall and was now living across the hall from two girls and downstairs from a couple the girls and I called “the rabbits.” The way they shook the house made you think there was an out-of-kilter washer going somewhere in the place. There wasn’t; it was just “the rabbits.” I couldn’t go home for Christmas because I worked at the radio station. This was before the rise of satellite-fed radio. It was still necessary—or at least preferable—for there to be a person physically at the station to inform listeners of important events, to play scratched 45s and to stumble through public service announcements and weather forecasts. I didn’t mind, of course, because I was at the age when I would rather hang out with friends than visit for boring family get-togethers. My parents—along with my sister, Cathy—came to visit on Christmas Eve, took me out to lunch and then came back to the apartment to give me my presents. I may have gotten them something, too. I honestly don’t remember. So, I opened the boxes and was disappointed to find a bathroom mat set and an electric heater. “You said your bathroom was cold, so we knew you’d want a heater for it.” Well, damn it, she was right, I guessed. I tried to act happy with it, but I probably didn’t. I could be a dick. I still can. They left and went home. k continued on next page

DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015 · FLAGPOLE.COM

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slackpole

peak with raking, blowing, bagging—repeat, repeat, repeat, like Sisyphus rolling his rock uphill—until the trees are bare and the yard is tidy. What to do with all the leaves? Should we bag them and allow the elusive leaf-and-limb fairies make them disappear? Should we leave the leaves, as the ecologists and environmentalists suggest, or sweep the leaves to the backyard—out of sight, out of mind? There are so many options and oh, so many leaves. Let us take a look at the options for leaf removal and management here in Athens.

continued from p. 21

I put the little electric heater in the bathroom and turned it on, and it clicked slowly to life, the fan making a noise disproportionate to the small amount of heat it gave off. Damn it, I hated that heater. Somewhere, there should have been the realization that now I was an adult: I was sacrificing time with family for working and making money; I was getting shitty things I needed instead of cool things I wanted. There was no realization then, though. There was just me and that little heater, a ghost of Christmases yet to come.

Snow Days

Option 2: Leave the Leaves. A growing contingent of environmentalists and ecologists are telling us to leave the leaves. It’s great for the tree, the wildlife and the soil to have that mulch cover; unfortunately, it is not great for your lawn. Leaves tend to pack flat and smother groundcover plants; this is fantastic for landscaped beds, because it decreases weeds and competition for your ornamental plants. One quick and easy solution is to mow the leaves with a mulching lawnmower. This action does two great things for the lawn: It shreds the leaves, allowing the turf grass to come through, and it adds nutrients and minerals to the lawn. If your yard is like mine and is dominated by a large southern red oak that will not allow turf grass to grow under it, by all means, leave the leaves! But if you have a nice lawn that you love, you should liberate the grass plants by raking and removing or mulchmowing the leaves. If removal from the lawn is your choice, I encourage you to move the leaves into garden beds, where they will provide the same function for your landscape. A common practice that I use for my clients is to create mulched landscaped zones in the design. By using your own homegrown leaf mulch, you will discourage the growth of weeds and increase the fertility of your soil, all while saving a significant amount of money and time per year!

By Jill Hartmann-Roberts Bundled up in scarves and mittens, jackets, hats and boots, The children running in the snow never wary of the cold, stop to build a snowman high— Bottom up with twigs for arms and rocks for nose, mouth and eyes.

Snow days; Fun and peaceful. Rare and beautiful— And the world rests.

Autumn Existentialism By Hall Roberts

“The struggle itself to the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” — Albert Camus Winter is coming. Leaves are on the ground everywhere, especially if you live in the colorful urban forests of AthensClarke County. The annual chore of fall cleanup is at its

Jacqueline Baxter

Picking snow up from the ground, tossing against the trunks of trees; They slide down on dark blue sleds, skidding along the snow and ice. School is closed, and Mom’s inside cuddled with blankets and hot coffee— watching the kids frolic and play.

into the Athens-Clarke County areas that were due for a leaf-and-limb pickup and grab the best of the best high-quality deciduous tree leaves. We use this leaf debris as a mulch cover between rows of crops and around individual plants. The savvy farmer will readily take your high-quality leaves for mulch cover; these farmers understand that the trees have worked all summer pulling nutrients and minerals from the soil, and not many farmers I know would ever pass up free nutrient-rich mulch. So, if you happen to be one of the citizens who bag their leaves for removal, I suggest you let a local farmer know that you have good-quality bagged leaves, and I would imagine those bags will disappear sooner than later.

Hall Roberts

Option 1: Bag the leaves. The Athens-Clarke County leaf-and-limb services will pick up your bagged leaves every six weeks. The collected leaves will be mulched and composted and sold to the public for a $12 per cubic yard screened compost and a $6 per cubic yard unscreened compost. Rake it, bag it, send it off, and buy it back to spread on your landscape beds to effectively add the nutrients back to your landscape. In addition to allowing the city to take on your leaf burden, there is the option of finding a farmer for your bagged leaves. As a work/trade laborer for a fantastic organic farm on the outskirts of Athens, we frequently take excursions

Option 3: Compost the leaves. If you have the space, I recommend composting the leaves yourself into high-quality compost for your landscape gardens. Leaves are high in minerals and will be a great benefit to any and all compost piles. Leaves will break down over time or compost if simply piled up in the corner of the backyard and left for a significant amount of time. If you would like to speed up the process, the pile of leaves will need to be encouraged to decompose at a faster rate by adding nitrogen, shredding to increase surface area and regular turning. Pages and pages can be written on the making of compost, but simply put: A high-quality compost can be made by mixing high-nitrogen material, or “greens” (veggie

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scraps, fresh grass clippings, manure, etc.) and low-nitrogen organic material or “browns� (leaves, straw, cardboard, paper). Compost can be made quickly and efficiently if the mixture of browns and greens is turned and aerated—a great physical exercise for the backyard composter! This rich black compost can be tilled or mulched into the garden, and will greatly benefit your garden and landscape plants. Finally, to answer the question, “What do I do with all my leaves?� Well, the choice is yours! Bag them and let the city turn them into compost, or donate them to a budgetconscious farmer; spread them on your garden beds and let them decompose over time; or turn them into that black gold yourself. The one thing to take away from this article is that leaves are not garbage, and if recycled into the landscape will add health and life to your soil. So remember, when you feel like Sisyphus readying to push the boulder up the hill, it should bring a smile to your face to rake those leaves for the benefit of your soil and our environment.

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k continued on next page

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Distant cousin, (14 million generations removed), dies without dignity; reduced to gooey glob by wave of wipers, dropped in dirt at roadside graveyard.

This is the time of my life—or the start of it. I would never have imagined myself being on stage with 15 other women wearing cutoffs, fishnets, muscle shirts and combat boots, putting most of the old baggage out of my head and shaking my booty with the best of them. It all started innocently a couple of years ago, when I finally screwed up my courage to use a gift certificate to DanceFX. The only kind of ballet dancer I could imagine myself to be was the comedy swan played by Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl. I remember heckling the modern dance group in high school. I just didn’t understand it. Besides, they were all the cool girls. While I’m a longtime fan of “Dancing with the Stars,� my one and only ballroom class didn’t inspire me to keep going. Every year there is a fundraiser for Keep Athens-Clarke County Beautiful at Little Kings. The Modern Pinups did a number, and I thought, “I want to do that.� So, tap it was. The Pinups were another story. After all, there were tryouts and women who had been dancing since the age of four. The actual beginner class started in August, but for some reason, I kept piling up excuses why I couldn’t or shouldn’t go. Too old, too fat, too uncoordinated—just to name a few. My brain understood the movements, but it wasn’t trickling down to my feet. Had I watched all those Shirley Temple movies in vain? My teacher was very kind and kept going over it, and the other students in the class were also encouraging. I just kind of stayed in the background, not wanting to ask questions or draw attention to the fact that I was a major klutz. My mother always told me my middle name should have been Grace. At the end of the spring session, my teacher, Britton, said she had been wanting to teach burlesque aerobics for three years, and they finally gave her a spot in the DanceFX schedule. She asked; I said, “Why not?� I could at least try. Somehow, I had blocked the aerobic part of the class name out of my head and was rudely awakened after stretching to find myself on the floor doing a whole song’s worth of crunches. But wait! They were followed by squats,

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DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015 ¡ FLAGPOLE.COM

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our only hope for information about said games was the sage advice of friends, heinously inaccurate commercials on the television or direct marketing from the companies themselves. So it was that I was first introduced to the Nintendo 64, or N64, as it has come to be known. I was pushing 17, had my first “real� job at a Taco Bell and saw in this plastic wonder a clear materialistic goal. So, I saved up parts of my paycheck for a few months. This was before “teh rents� and “teh billz� [sic], and after a short while, a friend and I went into our local Equally Large Retail Place, so I could purchase my N64.

continued from p. 23

Matt Salie worstnewsever.tumblr.com

traveling squats and cardio. Was I going to survive? I was rewarded with a combo (several dance moves choreographed to a different song every week). I was starting to feel just a little bit like a dancer. It was fun, even though my caboose was going forward while everyone else’s was going backward. Among other things. I looked forward to Sundays. I made friends. I started to loosen up, so I could bump and grind to the likes of Taylor Swift or Beyonce and a lot of artists I’d never heard of. No matter, it was the beat that was important. So, now I’m a full-fledged member of the Apprentice Company. There are no rules in burlesque; the lower I go and the more exaggerated my movements, the more I enjoy it. I’m fine with “stick out your boobies, shake your booty until you feel like it’s going to come loose, and touch yourself.� I’m still a little stiff when I dance, but the days that I don’t worry about getting the combo just right are like nothing else. It cleans the cobwebs out. I feel alive, like I could fly around the world and not be tired.

N64 Forever! By Jay Barnes

The following opinion piece does not necessarily reflect the views of Flagpole Magazine LLC, Flagpole Wealth Management and Heavy Industrial Inc. or Flagpole Consolidated BioAgro and GMO Manufacturing Ltd, its subsidiaries or Bahamian financial accounts. Due to its content, this column should not be read by anyone with access to the outdoors or a social life of any kind. Let’s think back to the great year 1996. Yeah. The Olympics were in Atlanta, Slick Willy was still unimpeached, and a humble Japanese exporter of card games and novelties was about to ship a new product to the North American market. This product was, of course, Beanie Babies the Nintendo 64, which up until recently, was the last video game console I had purchased. “Whoa now, Jay,� I hear you asking, “I barely know you, except from about 80 or so words in a short opinion piece; but this is so unlike you! Long have you waxed nostalgic about the glory days of the Nintendo and Super Nintendo. Oh, how difficult the games were, how they made us scream and throw the controller, how blocky and pixelated they look compared to today’s digital interactive experiences.� Yes, children, it was a different time. Al Gore had yet to invent the Internet, and we were at the mercy of two dominant video game megaliths, Nintendo and Sega. We were spoon-fed games and consoles whenever they saw fit, and

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Ah, but the console launched without a game! Nintendo claimed that this was to “keep costs low.â€? It certainly would save on your electric bill; if you could not use your system, you were keeping your costs down. Thankfully, I had read of this in advance and had saved up enough money to purchase a game, as well. “Don’t buy Mario, Jay,â€? my friend cautioned me. “What game you want?â€? said the kindly older gentleman at the electronics counter. “We got Mario, Turok, Waverace‌â€? “Mario 64!â€? I exclaimed with glee. For all my joy of those first six months with my shiny new console, they were to be a beacon of remembrance compared to the next few years. My dad landed a new job in Atlanta, and I journeyed with my family to our new home. I enrolled at a university and started a long-term relationship with the town that had sprung up around it. I made Athens my place, and while I was making attempts at settling down, the video game industry was doing anything but.

While I still played my N64 with unblemished glee, the gaming companies were busy getting other systems onto the market: the Gamecube, the Virtual Boy 2, the Motiontendo, the Sega Uranus and all that ilk. Better graphics, enhanced hardware—pah! I stayed loyal to my late-‘90s console, even while the games race heated up and left my cartridge-based system in the dust. Much to my delight, my stubbornness and pennypinching mentality paid off: Retro gaming is a thing now; there are stores in Athens that sell old-school games and consoles, and there’s a vibrant web community built around games that never truly went out of style. I purchased new titles for my N64 for the first time in almost two decades, and my passion for older games was renewed. My favorite slice of the retro pie is James Rolfe’s Angry Video Game Nerd, whose videos can be seen on cinemassacre.com, though I would advise against playing them in front of young children or bosses. For months, I basked in a hipster-ish glow, resolutely denying that I would ever purchase a newer console, still bitter over the rapid abandonment that Nintendo had shown to a showcase console. I mean, seriously, y’all: Goldeneye 64. ‘Nuff said, eh? Recently, a change came over me; well, OK, not a change; I saw a new game that I Had To Have. You understand, right? I scratched a few pennies together for several months, and before I knew it, I not only had a state-of-theart gaming console with all the bells and whistles, but a brand new TV on which to play it. Recalling the exploits of my 17-year-old self, I tore open the packaging and threw myself into the new system and game with exuberant glee. There was my N64, dusty, piled into a corner of my TV stand, but still loyal to me after all these years, like an old hound ready to throw itself into a bear’s maw to save its master. Well, maybe not that Jack London-esque, but you get the picture. Carefully running its outdated RCA cables into the back of my shiny new TV, I reflected upon my many good times with the system, and how cool it would be to have it side by side with my new toy. I slid in a game, flipped on the power, and‌ it crashed. Yes, perhaps it was the weight of years, the recent spate of heavy use after a decade of neglect or the sheer magnitude of being next to a modern gaming system, but my N64 died that day. I tried different games, played with the cords, many things, but as of this writing, it seems to have given up the ghost. Like the samurai of old, it saw that its time had passed and, not wanting to be a ronin, it chose honorable seppuku rather than dishonor its master. Very Japanese. This holiday season, I hope you took time to reflect upon the things that really matter in this life; that is, old-school gaming consoles and the memories you had with them. Eschew any physical activities or gatherings of loved ones, and give yourself over to the original Final Fantasy or Super

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Mario 3. Hug your NES—even if it’s been in the attic or in a trunk somewhere, patiently waiting for you to relive your past. Or, sell that sucker on eBay for a handsome profit.

Armadillos and Gardens By Liz Conroy

Shuffling sounds in the fallen leaves startled me awake inside the dark tent. I was alone with my 10-month-old daughter while camping on Cumberland Island. My husband had left to talk to UGA students working on a bobcat restoration project. The scratching noises grew louder. I turned on my flashlight and slipped quietly out of the tent. The weak beam lit up a dark, hunched creature, the size of a raccoon, but dragging a long tail. Was it a giant rat? I picked up a stick to club the dangerous rodent if it got too close. My husband returned at that moment and saw me brandishing my weapon of choice. He said that those were only armadillos hunting for insects. That was November 1988, and my first experience with these interesting insectivores, whose relatives are anteaters and sloths. I forgot about them for a couple of decades. William Pierson

about them digging up vegetable patches and flower beds. These armored mammals—originally from South America—arrived here with a preference for warm climates and sandy or loamy soil. Soft dirt makes it easy to uncover delectable invertebrates such as beetles, grubs and millipedes, which the armadillo laps up with a sticky tongue. Today, fencing gains greater importance for keeping out deer as well as these more recent newcomers. With their short, strong legs and good-sized claws, the common, or nine-banded, armadillo (Dasypus novemcinctus) not only digs through soil with ease but also likes to burrow. Gardeners dislike burrowing mammals, since they destroy plants. The burrow, however, is crucial to armadillos; it protects them from predators and extreme temperatures. When threatened by a large animal, they may hop up into the air before trying to scramble into their burrow. This popcorn-like behavior is why they get hit by cars when drivers see them on the road and try to straddle them. The armadillo just doesn’t know how to keep down low when a vehicle is going over it. According to Living with Wildlife authors Diana Landau and Shelley Stump, armadillos play a helpful role in reducing the insect population. Here’s their suggestion: “Alternatively, view the armadillo as a natural insect-control mechanism and share your yard with it.” Why not give this kind idea a try?

Delivering Christmas By Victor B. Johanek

This past July, while walking at dawn, I glanced up to see a pair of armadillos trotting merrily toward me like a pair of well-matched ponies. They appeared perfect for pulling a miniature coach. Their weak eyesight allowed me to get close. But their hearing and sense of smell are good. Suddenly, they paused, touched snouts together and scurried off in opposite directions. They were adorable. Even as roadkill, they look cuter than opossums, because their hard outer shell holds their guts together. That’s when their nickname “possum on a half-shell” makes sense. Their love of digging, however is not so cute. Several years ago, I heard stories of armadillos showing up in different places around Athens. Gardeners worried

Sitting in front of my laptop, cozy in my sweater, cup of still-steaming chamomile at my side, it’s hard to believe that only an hour ago, I was still not done with my workday. This time of year, I deliver and set up Christmas trees, a service which has only recently began to catch on in other areas. It’s stressful at times, but I keep up my spirits by knowing that I’m helping to bring a measure of holiday joy into people’s houses. This is a task I take on with some measure of pride, since the customers are inviting me into their homes to assist with their holiday celebrations. I try to get into the spirit of the season, as well: I have a Santa hat I can wear if I know kids are going to be present, and there’s something magical about riding through Athens and seeing the houses lit up with sparkling lights and decorations. It almost makes one forget about the consumerist abomination this holiday has morphed into over the years. I’d like to share just one little slice of this most recent season’s occurrences—just one typical day in a three-week period of madness that stretches from Thanksgiving until about mid-December. First, the basics: In one day, my assistant and I will usually deliver 19–20 trees over about a nine-hour shift. We get a short break at midday to inhale some food in 20 minutes,

and then we’re back on the road. If we’re lucky, a delivery can be completed in under five minutes, though they normally take longer. In between tree deliveries, we also drop off poinsettias, garlands, wreaths and our usual year-round landscaping goods. Some of our older customers use us as labor, asking us to move a heavy sofa or table in the name of fitting the tree into a living room. We’re often asked to fill the tree with water after delivery if the customer isn’t comfortable bending low. We’ve even been tasked with hanging wreaths, plugging in extension cords for lights and removing small appliances from difficult packaging. So, this was an average day in the season, with perfect driving weather and normal traffic. How did this turn into a day that taxed my sanity to the breaking point? Do you remember Apollo 13? Yes, it was dramatized as a movie with Tom Hanks and Kevin Bacon. You remember the film, or at least the trailer, where Hanks looks into the camera and says, “Houston, we have a problem.” (The actual quote from Commander Jim Lovell was, “Houston, we’ve had a problem,” though this is nitpicking an otherwise great film.) What I remember most about the story of these wayward astronauts came from a PBS documentary that explained how NASA had prepared for almost every eventuality and trained the crew for specific failures of hardware. Yet it was a series of failures in the command module, each not a major problem on its own, that led to near-catastrophe in outer space. Much as the Apollo 13 astronauts were the victims of a combination of a string of technical failures, my day was to become one of those shining examples, where a group of individual instances, by themselves easily handled, came together to result in my driving a delivery truck down an unlit road through dense woods after dark. The day started off great. I awoke on time, enjoyed my cups of coffee, browsed the Internet before I hopped into the shower, made my breakfast (second breakfast, actually; I’m a Hobbit) and headed to work. The morning air was crisp and cool, so I made sure to put on my long underwear before heading out. I got to work to find the delivery truck loaded with the first batch of Christmas trees to go out, my delivery partner ready to go. I’ve had the honor of delivering Christmas trees with members of the same family for the last six years; first, with my current partner’s brother (who passed away last year), then their nephew and now my present assistant, stepping in to fill his familial role. All was not well, though: He had been fighting a cold for a few days, and I was very concerned about getting sick. After all, I got to be stuck in an enclosed space with him for most of the day, while he coughed and sniffled. I caught what he had last year, and was sick from Christmas Eve until two weeks after New Year’s. k continued on next page

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25

slackpole

continued from p. 25

We were now an hour behind, but flew through our next three stops with no problems. Still, the last two trees for the morning didn’t head out until 11:50, and we also had some poinsettias to deliver. The last tree stop for the morning was on a new road in a subdivision, so our GPS didn’t know about it. I had to call the house for directions; again, not a big deal by itself, but it ate up precious time. When we got back for lunch, another co-worker needed a ride to his bank and asked me if I could oblige him. I told

Becky Parker

So, thankfully, our first delivery was right near his doctor’s office; he was able to run in and get them to send over an order of antibiotics and cough medicine that his wife would pick up later in the day. This was actually the first gentle sheet of snow coming off of the top of a mountain, heralding an avalanche. At our next stop, the door went unanswered, as did both contact numbers. A nanny was usually the one who received the tree; a few years back, when there was still an infant in the household, she told us that we’d need “booties,� or hygienic wraps to go around our shoes, before we’d be allowed inside. I still think of her as the “Booties Lady.� Today, she was missing, so we tossed the tree back onto the truck and headed out. It was at this stop that I noticed the overhead door on the truck was beginning to be difficult to open; more on that in a moment. We made our way to the next stop while my phone began to ring, as the homeowner and nanny played phone tag with one another and myself. As we were setting up the tree that was supposed to be last for the first circuit, my phone rang. The message was from my dad: I should call him back, but it wasn’t urgent. I was able to call back as we made our way to the second house. My parents’ rescue dog had beaten up another dog; could I watch her until Christmas while they were going to be out of town? Sure, because I don’t have anything else going on right now that pushes my sanity to its upper limits. Driving the miles back to the second stop, around paving delays and the usual glut of red lights, we finally met up with the nanny and delivered the tree. First circuit: done. What was supposed to be a 10-minute job ended up being almost an hour with the extra back-and-forth driving. Back at the store, I parked the truck away from the tree lot so we could examine what was going on with the back door. I also immediately ran for the bathroom, since I’ve been keeping myself more hydrated recently, and have been making myself drink at least 50 ounces of water daily (I know, the recommendation is even more; this is my baseline). Today gave me reason to think that I should postpone this plan until after the driving season is done. After discussing options about the wonky back door, it was decided that we could just run the truck with the door open, running straps along the back to ease the minds of drivers behind us. The trees didn’t usually move much, except perhaps in a situation where I’d need to accelerate quickly. One scenario popped into my mind:

BREAKING NEWS: Highway 316 at Oconee Connector shut down in both directions as propane truck runs over ejected Christmas tree, collides with medical transport and tour bus and bursts into flames, releasing the dreaded Cthulu from Its slumber, causing Mark Richt to miss a bowl game and preventing 19-year-old Samantha Chestnut from Marietta from getting her hourly peppermint mocha latte with nonfat whipped topping at a nearby Starbucks. Nearby delivery truck seen with manic-looking driver shouting from window, “Use Wildroot hair cream, Charlie!!!�

him it was not a problem. I heated up my lunch pasta and we hit the road in my car; I ate while we were stopped at red lights. On the way, I got a text message from my old landlady, whom I hadn’t talked to in over a year. She and her husband had moved, and they were finally selling the house where I stayed for nine years when I lived with them on the Eastside. That’s a whole other story. So, I had personal missives flying at me, work to perform, pasta to eat, but I managed to not lose focus on the big picture. We made it back to the store OK, and the delivery truck was gone! With little notice, my boss had taken the truck to deliver other poinsettias. Glad I ate my lunch in my own car while stopped in traffic. We busied ourselves around the store until he returned. After about a half-hour, I was paged to the parking lot, so I made my way there. At least the afternoon’s trees were set out and waiting for us; we wouldn’t have to find them

in the mass of sold trees that had already been set up, awaiting their delivery date. The address tickets indicating tree stops and order were nowhere to be found, and my boss, the last one to use the truck, was gone again. I poked around the front office and did not see anything that indicated a “first afternoon circuit,� so I grabbed the second set and we headed out at just about 2 p.m., 11 trees at nine stops to make. The afternoon routes were a mess, especially when I found the first set of addresses hiding under a sheet of paper in the front office. The only things that saved us were customers answering their phones and a number of easyto-find addresses. My bladder swelled as I chugged water, and at each stop back to the store, I had to sprint to the back of the building where the restrooms were. By 5:45, we had loaded up the last two trees in the dim of the floodlights and headed out into the great wilderness that is northwestern Athens-Clarke County. The penultimate address was on an unlit street, and it featured a driveway with a turnaround; a car was blocking its topmost segment. I had to back into the drive, arriving at a spot very near the front door to the house. The homeowner popped out and asked me to back up on the other side of the driveway, which I politely refused to do, given the steep grade and the lack of illumination. We walked the heavy 11-footer across the backyard and into their house, and quickly scooted away. The last stop was way out past Tallassee Road, and we drove there and back in the dark. It was another blissfully quick delivery, and while the customer was happy to see us, we were happy to be finished. Now, we still had a roughly 15–20-minute drive back to the store. While I drove back, my vision began to blur as headlights from cars in the opposite lane temporarily blinded me; I navigated the trusty delivery truck down the windy, forested roads until we reached civilization—or at least a Golden Pantry. Here, we still had about five more minutes of driving left, and the brake lights in front of us were beginning to increase steadily. Somehow, through a combination of experience, perseverance and luck, I made it back to the store and back home, an hour later than scheduled. The store was dark when we got back; everyone else except the managers were long gone. It was almost 90 minutes after I was scheduled to be done for the day, my tummy was a’rumbling, and I was so tired that I probably shouldn’t have been driving. But dagnabbit, I made it. I’m now sitting at my laptop, drinking cooled chamomile, reflecting on another hectic day of delivering Christmas trees. Hey, somebody’s gotta do it. f

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GRO U N D U N D ERWEAR

By Pete McBrayer

The answer to each clue is exactly two words. The last three letters of the first word are the first three letters of the second word. So “Finely crushed boxers and brassieres” would be “GROUND UNDERWEAR.” The first letter of each “threesome” spells out a riddle for you to solve. Other examples and answers at groundunderwear.blogspot.com

1. __________________ 2. __________________ 3. __________________ 4. __________________ 5. __________________ 6. __________________ 7. __________________ 8. __________________ 9. __________________ 10. __________________ 11. __________________ 12. __________________ 13. __________________ 14. __________________ 15. __________________ 16. __________________ 17. __________________ 18. __________________ 19. __________________ 20. __________________ 21. __________________ 22. __________________ 23. __________________ 24. __________________ 25. __________________ 26. __________________ 27. __________________ 28. __________________ 29. __________________ 30. __________________

▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ’ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ?

1. Sweet coffee in a Chevy in Christmas Vacation. 2. Voice of the Grinch in place for white collar workers. 3. George Washington’s face is on this fat used for cooking. 4. Obstinate decoration for a Christmas tree. 5. Weary of Robert in Barefoot in the Park. 6. Caramel flavored hard candy is extremely weak. 7. A steam bath room is not pretty. 8. Song sung by troubadours on server of punch. 9. A bit inebriated with a Hitchcock thriller. 10. Attack on Avengers movie villain. 11. Type of bear near Santa has trouble speaking. 12. “Precious” LOTR baddie becomes a tree cutter. 13. Something put under the tree is quite diverting. 14. Related to flowers by the kid in A Christmas Story. 15. Harass a toboggan.

▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭

▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭

__________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________

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▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭ ▭

__________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________

215 North Lumpkin St. • Athens, GA

18 & over / ID reqd. Tickets available online and at Georgia Theatre Box Office

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 30 HAYRIDE’s HOLIDAY SHOW WITH

HAYRIDE

DAVE MARR AND MAGIC MISSLE WITH

DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 31

LETTUCE DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13 AT THE 40 WATT CLUB

FAMILY & FRIENDS

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THURSDAY, JANUARY 14

RUMOURS

THE FLEETWOOD MAC TRIBUTE

DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM

CHRIS KNIGHT

SATURDAY, JANUARY 9

DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM

FRIDAY, JANUARY 15

DEERHUNTER WITH

16. Something you cook on with something you cook in. 17. Big hair-do on Kermit, for example. 18. What loses to scissors but beats rock forever? 19. Gunk on Santa’s red-nosed team leader. 20. A two piece bathing suit, at first. 21. Lose your cool for five cents. 22. An egg and mushroom pie with Provolone, for example. 23. Rip open prematurely. 24. Moisten a turkey with James from It’s A Wonderful Life. 25. Puzzled by David who wrote The Santaland Diaries. 26. Sixteen cups in Ebenezer Scrooge’s city. 27. An oration repeats… and repeats… and repeats… 28. A ham and rye, for example, for a fish scientist. 29. Near-sighted cartoon Mister has a Christmas bird. 30. Beer, wine, and spirits on a day of celebration.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13

BITCHIN BAJAS

DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM

TUESDAY, JANUARY 12

PHI GAMMA DELTA & BULLDOGS BATTLING BREAST CANCER PRESENT

BATTLE OF THE BANDS

WAKA FLOCKA FLAME

KING GURU THE WELCOME HOME SPACE MAMA WALDEN

DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM

1/23 1/25 1/26 1/27 1/30

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GREENSKY BLUEGRASS KAKI KING GRACE POTTER REBELUTION KEYS N KRATES

2/2 2/6 2/10 2/15 2/16

LUPE FIASCO OLD DOMINION BOOMBOX DARK STAR ORCHESTRA DAVID RAMIREZ

* FOR COMPLETE LINEUP VISIT WWW.GEORGIATHEATRE.COM *

DECEMBER 23 & 30, 2015 · FLAGPOLE.COM

27

ACC SOLID WASTE DEPARTMENT

LEAF AND LIMB COLLECTION CHANGES

A CHaRM is a one stop drop for items that can’t be recycled at the curb or at the Athens-Clarke County recycling drop-off sites because they are deemed "hard to recycle" due to their nature (chemical composition, hazardous components, size, distance to end-market, etc.). These materials will be collected at the CHaRM for reuse, recycling and/or proper disposal.

LOCATION: 1005 College Avenue, Athens, GA HOURS: Monday - 10:00 AM - 7:00 PM Wednesday - 10:00 AM - 7:00 PM Saturday - 8:00 AM - 12:00 PM FEES: Residential CHaRM Customers: · Five (5) gallon bucket of mixed material - no charge · Car (of any kind) with mixed material that contains bulbs, batteries, paint, tv’s/monitors - $5.00 · Truck (of any kind) with mixed material that contains bulbs, batteries, paint, tv’s/monitors - $10.00 · Truck and Trailer with mixed material that contains bulbs, batteries, paint, tv’s/monitors - $20.00

Commercial Customers:

Must make an appointment with Household Hazardous Waste Supervisor for delivery and materials will be fee based. Fees are subject to change. The following items will currently be accepted at the CHaRM:

* Automotive Fluids (except for gasoline) * Bags (grocery bags and other types of film plastic) * Batteries (alkaline, rechargeable, lead) * Bicycles (partnership with Bike Athens) * Books (hardback) * Bulbs/Tubes (fluorescent) * Cell phones (partnership with Keep Athens-Clarke County Beautiful) * Clothing (basically any fabric excluding leather) * Electronics - Partnership with Free IT Athens * Grease (used cooking grease/oil) * Ink Cartridges (partnership with Keep Athens-Clarke County Beautiful) * Mercury Containing Devices * Scrap Metal (including propane tanks) * Sharps (in a rigid plastic container) * Shoes * Shredded Paper * Styrofoam * Paint * Teacher Reuse Store Donations

STAY TUNED AS MORE MATERIALS WILL BE ADDED TO THE ABOVE LIST OF RECYCLABLES! Questions? Contact ACC Recycling Division at (706) 613-3512

or visit www.athensclarkecounty.com/recycling

The Athens-Clarke County Solid Waste Department is moving from a nine-week collection schedule to a six-week Leaf and Limb collection schedule. For the new six-week schedule, Athens-Clarke County has been divided into six areas. Every resident who receives Leaf and Limb service will now be located in Leaf and Limb Area A–F. To find out what Leaf and Limb Area you are located in, please do one of the following: 1. Visit the Solid Waste Department website, www.athensclarkecounty.com/leaflimb, and follow the information on the main page. 2. Contact the Solid Waste Department Office at (706) 613-3501, ext. 0, and staff will relay the proper Leaf and Limb Area to you verbally. 3. For those individuals who communicate Leaf and Limb schedules with an entire neighborhood or subdivision, Solid Waste Staff can email or postal mail maps and street names to you. The maps will assist with Leaf and Limb Area communication. To find out what the most current Leaf and Limb schedule is, please do one of the following: 1. Visit the Solid Waste Department website, www.athensclarkecounty.com/leaflimb. 2. Request to be on the mailing list for digital Leaf and Limb calendar reminders and updates. To make this request, contact the Solid Waste Department at (706) 613-3501, ext. 0. 3. To listen to the Leaf and Limb recorded calendar, dial (706) 613-3501, ext. 451.

Have more questions?

Please contact the ACC Solid Waste Department at (706) 613-3501, ext. 0.

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