nola family Parent Fearlessly
April 2020
At Home in the Time of Coronavirus BE SILLY
AND OTHER WAYS TO STAY POSITIVE P. 9
Connect Before You
Burnout
Will I Get Sick?
TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT COVID-19 P. 22
PARENTS OF KIDS
WITH SPECIAL NEEDS P. 16
SUMMER CAMPS ESSENTIAL TIPS FOR NEWBIES P. 14
APRIL IS ALL DIGITAL
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| april 2020
FR OM THE EDITO R
I’m a Nola native — grew up in Metairie, and was in my early 20s when Katrina hit. The days, weeks, months, and even a year after felt like life had paused. Today, living through this quasi-quarantine is like waiting for your kid to get to the punchline of a joke you’ve heard a hundred times before. Time isn’t paused, it’s moving very slowly and you’re taking precautions so that it doesn’t last any longer. It’s Day Six as I’m writing this — counting from March 13 when Gov. Edwards closed all public schools. I’m still struggling with how to manage it all in my head. How am I supposed to switch my brain between “Louisiana has 347 known coronavirus cases, 8 deaths” and “Biden wins Illinois primary, widening lead over Sanders?” Published days apart, the latter headline reminds me that life is still happening; we still have things to do. The former headline is too ominous to ignore. So we’re stuck somewhere in between. Life at home is relatively normal. Still, there’s this underlying notion that it may all go to hell and no amount of toilet paper will save us. In this uncertain mess, I hope that Nola Family offers a continuous hopeful and helpful message. As a parenting magazine, we have a unique opportunity to focus our content on the everyday lives of our readers. As we were wrapping up the April issue, which is only available digitally, we decided to hold a few planned features to include more prudent topics relating to home life during this time. You’ll notice some regular content is missing, too. April’s “In the Know” and “Out & About” were scrapped because, well, everything is canceled.
Remember, we’re navigating this “new norm,” too, but taking it day by day is the only way to stay sane when you’re suddenly teaching common core math to your own kids.
Here’s to staying relatively normal,
Tim Meyer
april 2020 | www.nolafamily.com
We’ve also created “Nola Family’s Group for Parents Navigating the ‘New Norm’” Facebook group for local parents to share ideas, concerns, and of course, memes while we adjust. Our new “Daily Survival Guide” newsletter offers fun activities and useful information so that you don’t resort to burning down the house just to shake things up.
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nola family CONTENTS APRIL 2020
Carl Liberty’s autism spectrum disorder diagnoses almost became too much for his mom to handle. Then she found her tribe. P. 16
A FEW WORDS 3 From the Editor
FEATURES 6 New Furry Family Members Who’s the Pooper Scooper?
9 Stuck at Home 5 Ways to Stay Positive
14
Summer Camp Tips
For Newbies
16
Support Tribe
Connect Before You Burnout
22 Expert Advice Talking to Your Kids About COVID-19
EDUCATION & GUIDANCE
12 Parenting Corner More Sleep, Less Screen Time 18 Wiggle Room Crossing the Midline
IN EACH ISSUE 11 Gear to Get App Time
20 Spotlight
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The Cool Cooperative
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ON THE COVER Maggie Lob, a sixth grader at Ursuline Academy, knows that missing snoball season is a small sacrifice in the age of social distancing. Photo by Twirl Photography.
publisher/editor ANN BOWER HERREN ann@nolafamily.com
managing editor TIM MEYER tim@nolafamily.com
Contr ibutors KIMBERLY BRADLEY, owner of Kim4Kids in Metairie, writes our “Wiggle Room” column. She has been a pediatric occupational therapist for almost 20 years. She can be reached at 504.517.5437; kim4kidsnola.com.
office manager JENNY ZIGLIN jenny@nolafamily.com
advertising sales DURBAN ZAUNBRECHER durban@nolafamily.com
JORDAN WHITE
CHERYL MAGUIRE holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of three children. Her writing has been published in “The New York Times,” “Parents Magazine,” “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessing,” and more.
jordan@nolafamily.com
designer CAT LANDRUM 2ND STORY CREATIVE edit intern GRAHAM ANDREAE GABRIELLA KILLETT ad production SARA YOUNGBLOOD
LISA PHILLIPS, a licensed social and parent educator at The Parenting Center at Children’s Hospital, is a contributor to the award-winning “Parenting Corner” column. She can be reached at 504.896.9591; chnola.org/ parentingcenter.
SANDI SCHWARTZ is a freelance writer/blogger and mother of two. She has written extensively about parenting, wellness, and environmental issues.
contributing photography TWIRL PHOTOGRAPHY
SARAH HERNDON is a freelance writer, mom, and For reprint information, contact
frequent contributor to Nola Family.
ann@nolafamily.com Business Office:
8131 Oak St., Ste. 500, New Orleans, LA 70118
504.866.0555
GRAHAM ANDREAE & GABRIELLA KILLETT are our amazing editorial interns at Nola Family.
A publication of
The opinions expressed in this publication are those of the authors and/or contributors, and do not necessarily reflect those of the magazine or its advertisers.
april 2020 | www.nolafamily.com
april 2020 volume 14, issue 3
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COMING H ME
New Furry Family Members Preparation and patience are key when welcoming a new pet into the family home.
Bringing a new pet into the family home is a big step. Not only should you feel comfortable with the adjustment, but the new furry addition should also feel at home. Dr. Allison Wegmann, a veterinarian with Metairie Small Animal Hospital, says that this takes preparation and patience. It can take anywhere from two days to two months for everyone to adapt to the new living situation. “It’s important that everyone in the family is on board with the idea of bringing home a new pet, and that everyone understands their role in Fluffy or Fido’s life,” Dr. Wegmann says. “Bringing a pet into the home is a big responsibility and it’s very important to educate yourself on the commitment both time and financial that it will require.”
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PREPARATION
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First things first, prepare your home. Gather the items your new pet will need in advance. You’ll need a collar and leash, food and water bowls, food, and of course, toys. An identification tag should be purchased as soon as you know your new pet’s name. Dr. Wegmann also recommends pet-proofing your home. “Make sure your home is safe for your
new pet,” she says. “Remember, they don’t know what’s off limits or dangerous, so you have to make sure they can’t get themselves into trouble.”
Household items that are easily reachable and are choking hazards, poisonous plants, and other potentially pet-dangerous items should be removed.
ESTABLISH HOUSE RULES Work out your pet-care regimen in advance among the human members of your household. Who’s walking/feeding/cleaning up after the new pet? And when? How involved will the kids be? What will the morning routine be like? Who will feed them at night? Will they be allowed on the couch? In the bed? What’s off limits? And most importantly, who’s pooperscooping the yard or cleaning the litter box? Try to arrange the arrival of your new pet for a weekend or when the family will be home for a few days. Spend some quality time together — play and go for walks. Get to know each other. Make sure you don’t neglect any other pets in your household. Assume your new pet, specifically a dog, is not house trained and work from there. The most important element in house training is to be
consistent and maintain a routine. A little extra effort on your part to come home straight from work each day will pay off sooner.
HEALTH Take your new pet to the veterinarian within a week after adoption. “Even if your new pet’s vaccinations are current, you should take them to the veterinarian for a wellness exam to establish their baseline health status,” Dr. Wegmann says. “At their first visit, we’ll discuss nutrition, a vaccination schedule, preventative care, and address any questions you may have.” If your pet has not been spayed or neutered, make that appointment, too. Most likely, a shelter will require that you have your pet spayed or neutered anyway. Shelters take in animals from many different sources and backgrounds: homeless, surrenders, lost — some of whom have not been vaccinated. Heartworms and Parvo, a highly contagious virus, are very common for homeless animals, and can be deadly. Finally, remember to take it one day at a time. Life will be different for both parties for a while, but be patient and your family will have a new furry member for life. Note: This content is sponsored by Metairie Small Animal Hospital, msah.com, 504.290.0025
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5To Bring WAYS
POSITIVITY
Into Your Family's Life During the Coronavirus Outbreak Many of us are really struggling as we adjust our lives during this COVID-19 coronavirus scare. Our world is upside down and we don’t know how long this period of cancellations, social distancing, and food runs will last. Like any tragic event in our lives, we must process the multitude of emotions we are experiencing and try our best to find something positive in these challenging, uncertain times. We can look to positive psychology for some guidance. The science points to several ways that we can focus our energy — even our fear and despair — in a more constructive way in order to build stronger relationships with loved ones and our fellow community members, and to discover creative solutions to address the complex issues we face. Here are five activities that you can do with your children to feel calmer and more optimistic:
BE PLAYFUL
GET CREATIVE
GIVE THANKS
It is so hard to stop reading all the news stories right now, but we will all certainly feel better if we take a break to play and laugh with our children: dress up in goofy costumes, read a joke book, play a fun game like charades, watch a comedy on television, or sing silly songs.
Art has been scientifically proven to reduce stress levels, so much so that an entire discipline of art therapy has been developed. Art is a way of tapping into the right side of the brain where creativity, intuition, visualization, emotions, and daydreaming stem from. Creativity distracts us from what is tormenting our minds, giving us a great way to focus on something more positive, productive, and inspiring.
When times are tough, that is when we really need to stop and express gratitude for the good in our lives. Dr. Robert Emmons, a scientific expert on gratitude, encourages people to practice gratitude because it has been proven to make us feel more optimistic, and helps us cope with stress more effectively and recover more quickly from traumatic situations.
In addition, the level of stress hormones like cortisol, epinephrine (adrenaline), and dopamine are lowered. Laughing also relaxes our muscles, which soothes tension from stress, and engages the limbic system, the part of the brain that manages our mood and emotions.
When we are creative, we experience a sense of flow and become completely absorbed in what we are doing to the point of being in a near meditative state. When we are in a state of flow, we forget about all of our thoughts and lose track of time. Additionally, working with certain colors can boost our mood. There are endless ways to share creative time with your children, such as: • Sing or play music together. • Write a story or poem. • Paint, draw, or mold a sculpture. • Dance to some lively music. • Cook or bake together in the kitchen.
Focusing on the positive in our lives boosts our body, mind, and spirit. It gives us energy, inspires us, transforms us, and helps us think about life as a gift. Spend some time with your children these next few weeks pointing out the parts of life you are grateful for. There are many creative ways to encourage your children to express gratitude, such as by keeping a gratitude journal or adding a gratitude moment or prayer to their bedtime routine
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According to the Mayo Clinic, laughing improves our body and mind, and is one of the simplest tools we have for reducing stress and anxiety. When we laugh, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex of our brain is activated, resulting in the release of the feel-good hormones called endorphins. These chemicals create feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, and also relieve pain.
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EXERCISE
HELP OTHERS
Exercise is so critical to calming our bodies and minds. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, aerobic exercise is a vital tool for reducing stress. It decreases overall levels of tension, elevates and stabilizes mood, improves sleep, and lifts self-esteem. Even just five minutes of physical activity can be relaxing. This happens because exercise produces endorphins, the chemicals in our brain that act as natural painkillers and make us feel happier and less anxious.
All the experts tell us that one of the best things you can do when you feel down is to help someone else. Doing good deeds triggers the reward center in our brain that is responsible for releasing endorphins that make us feel elated and excited naturally.
During stressful times, look for ways to be active with your children such as going on a family hike or bike ride; having a catch in your backyard; swimming; or playing fun games like hopscotch, jumping rope, tag, or freeze dance.
• Call friends and neighbors to ask if they need anything like groceries.
One way that my family will create positive energy is by reaching out to those who need help during this crisis. Here are some ideas: • Write letters to the elderly in assisted living facilities to cheer them up. • Send thank you notes to healthcare workers and first responders.
• Reach out to loved ones through phone calls and online. You can play games or read books together using your screens. • Make donations as a family to charitable organizations on the front lines of fighting this disease.
Sandi Schwartz is a freelance writer/blogger and mother of two. She has written extensively about parenting, wellness, and environmental issues. You can find her at happysciencemom.com.
E M I T APP REMEMBER THE MILK Offering a wide variety of ways to organize your thoughts and things, this helpful app keeps everything you need to do in one place. A new feature lets you quickly add tasks without leaving your Gmail inbox. Available on iOS and Android
TOUCHNOTE Want to send a postcard or greeting card, but really don’t want to buy stamps or even walk to the mailbox? TouchNote will print personalized cards and post them anywhere the world. You can design a card with your photos then send them to anyone you wish, all from your couch.
GEAR TO GET
Some best ptimes the gadg arenting e found ts can be your s right on martp hone.
COMIXOLOGY COMICS Got a comic book-loving kid at home? The Amazon-owned ComiXology’s Comics app offers a comic book reader. The free app transforms your smartphone or tablet into a digital reader that houses and syncs your purchases across multiple devices. Available on iOS and Android, free to download, $5.99/month subscription
Available on iOS and Android, free to download, in-app purchases are made with app credits
BUSYKID GROUPON
Available on iOS and Android, free to download
Available on iOS and Android, free to download
april 2020 | www.nolafamily.com
Family fun, shopping, and dinning is better when you get a deal. Groupon partners with businesses to offer low prices to a limited number of people for a limited time. Groupons are also offered for classes and workshops, attractions, movies, and much more.
BusyKid is a chore app where kids can earn, save, share, spend, and invest with their allowance money, helping to build financial awareness. Parents set the chores, kids complete them, and the allowance is directly deposited each Friday. Each week a percentage of their funds is saved automatically.
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PARENTING CORNER
Follow the Leader Getting better sleep with less screen time and more physical activity lies with you.
It’s been one of those weeks: You’ve been up all night with a baby or a work deadline. Your two hours of sleep are followed by a day of coffee-guzzling and a late night. You’ve finished all your evenings with a Facebook or Netflix binge, too exhausted to do anything else. If this kind of cycle is hard on us, imagine the impact it can have on children’s developing brains and bodies. The American Academy of Pediatrics offers guidelines concerning sleep, screen time, and physical activity. A 2018 Canadian study, funded by the National Institutes of Health, examined the effect of these AAP recommendations on more than 4,500 children between the ages of 8 and 11. Specifically, researchers looked to see if families: Limited screen time to no more than 2 hours each day. Ensured children slept 9–11 hours nightly. Met the physical activity guidelines for children by encouraging 60 minutes of vigorous play every day. Out of all the participants, 71 percent met at least one of the requirements, but only 5 percent met all three. There was a significant relationship between children’s scores on cognition tests and each recommendation that was met, particularly regarding screen time and sleep. While studies such as this one don’t show a clear cause-and-effect relationship, they do add to a growing body of evidence that supports practicing mindfulness regarding these childhood experiences and how they are interrelated. Previous research on the effect of preschoolers’ executive function skills indicate that focus, planning, and working memory can be affected by fatigue, lack of movement, and screen time. Sleep is critically important to academic performance. One study found that losing an hour of sleep could impair performance as much as two grade levels. Any parent that has attempted to wrangle an overtired child can understand the effects on exhaustion on self-control. Lack of sleep appears to be a contributing factor to childhood obesity as well. Too much time on screens is related to a child’s unwillingness to engage in more physically active pastimes, creating a pattern of sedentary behavior and attachment to screens, which, in turn, negatively affects sleep.
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Even if we all see the benefits of adhering to the recommendations, we can still understand how difficult it is to be in that 5 percent. Parents do not need to feel ashamed for not being able to meet a standard that feels unrealistic. The key is to take baby steps:
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Be mindful of what you’re modeling, especially when it comes to screens. Children are very aware of our own struggles with tech dependence. Put phones away when interacting with your children. Having screen-free times and places for your family may be helpful. Don’t let your child sleep with their device, and for better sleep, unplug all technology at least an hour before bedtime. Physical activity is an opportunity for connection, so make it enjoyable for all of you. Bike rides and family walks are fun, but even putting on music for a dance party while you clean up the kitchen together or doing a few minutes of yoga are all ways to move while simultaneously bonding. Encourage your child’s school to balance technology with real-world experiences, including recess, which is sadly diminishing in many schools.
Lisa Phillips, a licensed social worker and parent educator at The Parenting Center at Children’s Hospital, is a contributor to the award-winning “Parenting Corner” column. She can be reached at 504.896.9591. chnola.org/parentingcenter
april 2020 | www.nolafamily.com
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Summer Day Camp
ESSENTIAL TIPS
A C HE C K L I S T FO R NE WB IES .
Have you found a summer day camp yet? Time’s ticking away. While you’re still looking, our Summer Day Camp Essential Tips will get you ready for fun in the sun — your kid’s fun in the sun, that is.
arts Before Camp St
e uniform shirts
t for extras lik n fee, but look ou
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and drawstring ba
• Pay the registratio ndy place. turday schedule in a ha of July is on a Sa • Keep the camp’s emorial Day (4th M e lik s ay lid ho ve a plan B for • Make sure you ha p. e first day of cam this year). ady to wear for th re s rm ifo un r he e site to hirts or ot already visited th • Have your kid’s T-s day if you haven’t st fir e th on rly 15 minutes ea • Arrive at least ow and pick-ups are. where drop-offs kn u ensure yo d water days. for field trips an ies lic po p’s m ca phone. • Know the numbers in your personnel phone p m ca or e sit p • Store cam
ch Day? d Bring Ea il h C y M uld What Sho
r bag. oon snack g and aftern • Backpack o in rn o m a h it box filled w lunch. • Small lunnchot provided), and a healthy (if one is . ater bottle • Refillable w swim days. d towel on an it su im • Sw mpers. r younger ca t will f clothes fo o ge an nscreen, bu ch • A apply the su t o n n ca f own. . Camp staf • Sunscreenwhile your child applies his supervise
What Should My Child Wear?
• Appropriate clothing for
play and weather, includi ng sneakers, a hat, and rainwear .
• Close-toed shoes, prefer
ably sneakers. Sandals and flip flops are usually forbid den. • Apply sunscreen SPF 15 or higher to your child each morning.
What Should I Pack In My Child’s Lunch Box?
• A nutritious lunch and
Label Everything
ng, two EVERYTHING! — clothi snacks that’ll ke s, ack ckp ep fresh in a ba es, ttl water bo dark, moist area (a banana with lunch boxes, sunscreen … peel is probably and not the best with your child’s name option). er. phone numb • Do not pack perishable items like mayonnaise or yogurt.
and the ten areas like ears and ention to easily-forgot att se clo g yin pla , kid sunscreen for your • Model how to apply sur ic to the sunscreen. e your child isn’t allerg inister it. They will ke backs of legs. Ma rse on staff that can adm nu a s ha p cam the e make sur ation during the day, orehand. • If your child takes met dic bef r cto do r , you m forms fro ns on the type of snacks also need the correc if there’s any restrictio Ask s. ent par the to t up vides snacks or if it’s lef • Know if the camp pro . rse other than nuts, of cou e a black d allergies. in the summer sun, lik • Alert the camp of any foo a surface that heats up on d hel is y pla ter a big difference if wa • Water shoes will make e. top. ty clothing, just in cas child’s backpack for dir r you in bag s. ing pp l be absent those day • Place a plastic sho camp and your child wil r me sum h wit p rla c need. mer vacations ove erience with the specifi • Notify the camp if sum accommodations or exp ut abo p cam the ask h special needs, If you have a child wit
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More Tips
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•
Most importantly, remind your kid that now’s the time to let loose and have fun! Summer will be over before you know it.
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Find Your
TRIBE A child diagnosed with a disability
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is stressful, but
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what about what comes after? Sarah Herndon is a freelance writer, mom, and frequent contributor to Nola Family.
Single mom Brandi Liberty stays busy juggling her two kids’ school and extracurricular schedules alongside the demands of her own job as a grant writer. Just over a year ago, her 9-year-old son, Carl, was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, raising the stress level of their already hectic lives.
therapist, employs a nanny so she can leave the house to run errands, and has joined a Facebook group of moms of children with special needs.
While Carl is largely social and attends school, he still needs six hours of Applied Behavior Analysis therapy a week. This means that Liberty spends three days of her work week traveling from the Westbank, potentially losing clients and income. Accommodations at school need to be constantly monitored and maintained with his teachers for missed work. Engulfed by her family’s daily schedule, Liberty began to resent her life.
Connect
“Find your tribe,” she says. “It’s OK to let your guard down and put your cards out on your table and say, ‘I need help.’”
Mary Jacob is the executive director of Families Helping Families of Greater New Orleans, a family resource center for parents of children with disabilities. They do not provide direct services, but they often connect parents and individuals to those that are providing the necessary resources, whether at a federal level or a more local, municipal one. However, one of the main reasons that parents call the organization is to connect with other parents to receive advice that they might not get from professionals in the field.
Brandi Liberty constantly felt overwhelmed, even a year after her son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.
“Parenting any child is intense, and then you throw in special needs and all of the accompanying roles that parents then have to take on in addition to being just a ‘typical parent’ — it’s frequently very overwhelming,” says Dr. Terry Johnson, a local clinical psychologist. Dr. Johnson works with families with special needs and mostly sees this type of burnout in parents of newly diagnosed children. Parents feel like they need to be doing everything possible to support their child, but they don’t know how to fit it all into their day.
Dr. Johnson also stresses the importance of asking for help from your support system who want to help, but often don’t know how. Liberty built a network that she can lean on, but it took her awhile to feel comfortable and vulnerable enough to ask for help. She sees a
Kerstin Shinn can relate to the all-consuming responsibilities of raising a child with disabilities. Her daughter, Aidia, was born premature with a host of medical problems including cerebral palsy, a congenital eye defect, and scoliosis. She has undergone nine surgeries, and much of Kerstin’s life has revolved around physical, speech, and occupational therapy for Aidia. She felt completely overwhelmed. She didn’t know what to do.
already seeing a psychologist who pointed out that she was going through burnout and needed some self-care. Her therapist recommended a positive affirmations app that Shinn can listen to with ear buds at any point during the day. She tries to take short breaks, even if it’s a 15 minute walk around the block. Her favorite thing to do for herself is to sit and watch the wildlife on her birdfeeder that hangs from an oak tree in her backyard. Aidia is now 8 and is in 2nd grade at a Belle Chasse elementary school where she makes the A/B honor roll. She still goes to her therapy sessions, but her schedule has become more manageable. “She was like a little cracked egg,” Shinn says. “She has broken the shell and has exceeded everybody’s expectations. It was a lot of work and still is sometimes.”
Reaching Out Some type of support group, formal or informal, is recommended for parents and caregivers of children with disabilities. “When you have a child with special needs, they become your world and you might move away from friendships with parents who have neuro-typical kids,” says Dr. Lisa Settles, a clinical psychologist. She is also the president of the Autism Society of Greater New Orleans and directs the Tulane Center for Autism and Related Disorders. Many of her parents meet and form friendships in the clinic while waiting for their child to be evaluated. Dr. Settles also tells parents to seek out activities catered towards children with special needs where they can connect with families in similar situations.
A therapist helped Kerstin Shinn realize that she was on the verge of burnout and recommended some self-care tips.
“Some of the problems that you have when dealing with someone with these needs, is you get too ahead of yourself and it gets really, really big,” Shinn says. Luckily, she was
“When a parent finds out that their child has a special need, there is almost a period of grieving that has to happen,” she says. The ideal images that they had in their mind of what their child will be, will need to be let go of and they will have to come up with new ideas of what life will look like. Additionally, these parents always feel the need to be doing more and yet, no one has told them that they are adequate parents. Dr. Settles says that it is key for them to “take some time to realize how difficult it is and that they are doing a good job.”
april 2020 | www.nolafamily.com
In her sessions, Dr. Johnson has parents set small goals and reprioritize the needs of their child so that multiple therapies and appointments aren’t so daunting. She urges parents to tap into the special needs community to utilize resources and connect with other parents who are in similar situations. This helps to offset feelings of isolation and fosters socialization.
“Parents just need validation that they aren’t going crazy and that this isn’t their fault,” Jacob says. She sees burnout mostly when a parent is the sole primary caregiver without support from anyone else. A typicallydeveloping child will reach milestones and become independent, she says, yet parenting that child looks different than one who is dependent on you 100 percent of the time. Parents never get a break.
“... there is almost a period of grieving that has to happen.”
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WIGGLE ROOM
CROSSING THE MIDLINE We do this so often that we forget how important it is for growing children. Crossing midline is a naturally-developed skill that allows us to unconsciously reach over from one side of the body to the opposite side. Without this ability, nearly all of our daily tasks would be challenging. We use this seemingly simple maneuver hundreds of times a day, and we don’t even realize it. Think about when we eat. How many times are we reaching for a french fry, a cup, or a utensil from the other side of the plate? Or when we drive — how many times do we have to cross midline just to make a turn? By 4 years old, a child should be able to cross midline and do so with ease during everyday activities. When your child cannot cross midline, it can lead to negative effects and limited development.
Milestones for crossing midline:
• • • •
At 3 months: Child should be able to cross midline with their eyes. At 6 months: Child should be able to reach across the body for a toy with one hand. At 8 months: Child should be able to reach both hands across the body for a toy. At 3–4 years old: Crossing midline should happen naturally and with ease during daily tasks.
Questions to ask if your child has difficulty crossing midline:
• • • • • • • •
Does your child rotate their whole body to reach for items, instead of crossing midline? Does your child reach for an item and transfer to the opposite hand in midline to use, rather than crossing midline with one hand? Is your child having trouble developing hand dominance? As both hands get equal practice, the dominant hand is unable to develop precision and skill. When your child is writing or reading, do they have trouble starting at the left margin to read or write? When drawing pictures, do they only draw on the middle or the same side as their dominant hand? Does your child have trouble with jumping jacks, skipping, or kicking a ball using both feet? Does your child have trouble visually tracking from one side to the other? Was your child’s crawling delayed? Crawling is one of the earliest skills that requires crossing midline to be successful.
Here are some fun activities to help promote this skill:
•
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• • •
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• • • • • • • • •
Any activity that requires both hands, such as catching a ball, jump rope, stringing beads and card games. Kick a ball and take turns with each foot. Pop bubbles. Place objects on the opposite side of the body and prevent the other hand from reaching. Ensure your baby spends as much time on their tummy as possible. Have your baby crawl as much as possible. Clapping games. Art activities such as drawing on large pieces of butcher paper. Have your child reach across the body to get puzzle pieces. Play passing relay games while sitting in a circle. Swinging a bat.
Kimberly Bradley, a pediatric occupational therapist,
Play Twister, or a simpler version of the game.
writes our “Wiggle Room” column. She owns Kim4Kids in Metairie and can be reached at 504.517.5437. kim4kidsnola.com
Try skipping, jumping jacks, Hokey Pokey, or Simon Says.
april 2020 | www.nolafamily.com
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COOpLerative
SPOT LIGHT
Coo ly
e participant, definite Junior, a Cool Cooperativ ure. fut sees filmmaking in his
Local students gain professional experience in the New Orleans film industry. Whether you’ve been to the New Orleans Film Festival, played an extra in a film, or got stuck in production traffic, you know New Orleans is a hub of film industry activity. But how much do you, or your kids, know about film production? “In 7th grade, I didn’t know anything about film at all — I just watched movies,” says Bobby, a local high school student. During his seventh grade year, Bobby’s friend, Rondrick, asked him to join an afterschool program. Cool Cooperative, a local nonprofit, trains New Orleans middle and high school students for film industry jobs during an afterschool program and summer camp. “I said, ‘That sounds cool,’ and joined,” Bobby says. “That’s when I put aside everything and I was like, ‘I like this.’”
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Pre-Production
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Kirby Voss, Cool Cooperative’s executive director, met actress Felicia Stallard while producing a feature film in college. Kirby and his fellow student peers struggled to secure film jobs without relevant job experience, yet film work does not require a college degree. In an effort to prepare help aspiring filmmakers, Felicia created Cool Cooperative, based in Belle Chasse. Students who graduate high school after participating in the program have earned
student Auzuya poses Livaudias Middle School while another student, een scr in front of a green Qualaya, directs.
that film industry job experience, which helps them to apply for jobs above minimum wage. Kirby also provides ACT and subject tutoring on the weekends as needed to boost participants’ grades and prepare them for college. The current board consists primarily of film professionals. Trevor Kravits, the current instructor for high school students at Cool Cooperative, appreciates the opportunity to teach local students about film. “It’s not about how much your parents make, it’s about how much you want to do this,” Travis says. “It’s all about teamwork and collaboration and owning your own voice.” Despite the presence of film production in New Orleans, the bulk of the film industry education programs are unaffordable to many local students. Cool is different from other programs because it removes that financial barrier.
Character Production With a 100 percent retention rate, students who join Cool stay in the program, invite their friends to join, and get serious about pursuing a future in the film industry. Currently, students from Livaudias Middle School in Jefferson Parish join free of charge. The program works with “at-promise” youth, and participating students have statistically higher GPAs, better attendance records, and less detentions than their peers. “When Junior first started the program, he was really quiet and everything, but then he loosened up to us,” Rondrick says about another friend who joined the program.
by experiments with a High school student Bob light during a shoot. t trai homemade LED por
Cool Cooperative students come back each year to build their skills. As they get closer to high school graduation, the team pushes the students more to build and establish their skills. “The more I came to the program, and the longer I’ve been in it, the more it kind of changed me, the more I liked it and saw the good in it. I’m really thinking about going into the film industry after I graduate from college,” says Junior.
Final Cuts The program films about one sketch a week, and it aims to produce five high quality, semiprofessional grade films a year. Some of their projects are entirely student made and others require outside help from professional editors or assistants. The students participated in the 48-Hour Film Project for four years and submitted a film to the director’s program at the New Orleans Film Festival. “Our policy is, generally: If you write it, we will make it,” Kirby says. In addition to the production videos, the students interview industry professionals. They post their interviews and films to their YouTube channel, “COOLFeed.” To learn more, visit TheCoolCooperative.org.
Thyme Hawkins is an editorial intern with Nola Family and our sister publication, Nola Boomers. She is a student at Loyola University, class of 2021.
april 2020 | www.nolafamily.com
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Expert Advice on How to TALK to your About the
Corona
WHY ARE THEY WILL I IM CLOSING THE GET SICK? SCARED. SCHOOLS? These are some of the questions and comments I’ve heard from my three kids over the past week. Given the recent school closures, lack of toilet paper, and bombarding messages about handwashing, it is understandable why kids may feel confused or scared. Most parents are fielding similar concerns and are wondering how to respond.
Recognize Your Feelings Before you discuss the new coronavirus, COVID-19, with your kids, acknowledge your own feelings about the situation. “It is important to recognize your own anxiety before talking to your child. If I am feeling anxious, I choose not to talk to my child. Instead, I allow myself to calm down and then approach the topic,” says Dr. Soma Mandal, internist and partner at Summit Medical Group in Berkeley Heights, New Jersey.
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| april 2020
Remain Calm
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Even though you may feel anxious you should try to refrain from showing these feelings to your child. Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a Northwestern University professor, clinical psychologist, says, “In the therapy world, we stress the importance of ‘regulating the regulator.’ In order to be able to provide regulation, parents need to feel regulated.” She recommends that parents practice self-care by staying informed, but also unplugging. She also suggests that parents shore up their foundation by eating healthy food, getting adequate sleep, and exercise. She stresses limiting alcohol and drug use and taking breaks before becoming irritable or impatient. Dr. Robin Goodman, a clinical psychologist, agrees with Dr. Solomon by saying, “Fear can be contagious so above all, parents need to monitor and manage their own worry, especially with their children. Being calm is also contagious, so it is better to spread calm.”
I M UPSET THAT I CAN T GO TO BALLET CLASS.
Validate Their Feelings When you recognize and accept your child’s feelings as being valid, then it can help them to feel calm and understood. Dr. Solomon says, “Our goal as parents is to validate their stress and encourage them to practice healthy coping strategies like distraction, focusing on what’s going well, exercise, and radical acceptance (radical acceptance means reminding ourselves that this is beyond our control).”
Assess What They Already Know Kids have heard about Coronavirus from their friends, the internet, and on TV. Before providing any information ask them what they know about the pandemic. Dr. Damon Korb, a behavioral and developmental pediatrician at The Center of Developing Minds, says, “Children need information, just like adults. Start by finding out what they already know. Clear up any misconceptions and explain the concern at a developmentally appropriate level.” Dr. Mandal agrees: “I invite my daughter to let me know what she has heard first and what she has questions about so we can start the conversation there. I give her the room to let me know her feelings about it, including feeling scared and confused.”
Be Honest and Reassure It is okay to let your child know you don’t have all the answers. You can also explain the reasons for the school closures are to try to prevent the spread of the virus. Dr. Solomon explains that living through this pandemic is challenging because of the uncertainty. She says, “We don’t know when life is going to return to normal, but we also don’t want to lie to our kids. We can tell kids the essential truth and reassure them that you will be together every step of the way.”
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Kids avirus She suggests using distraction as a method of coping. She recommends shifting the focus away from the coronavirus and towards a game, a walk, or a movie. “When you are reassuring children it is always important to be honest,” she says. “We talk about how one can get sick, but how you can protect yourself the best way you can. Washing hands with soap and water, covering a cough and sneeze, staying away from other sick people, eating healthy food, and getting plenty of sleep is what I call ways to overpower the germs.” Dr. Korb explains that when children are anxious parents should be patient, tolerant, and provide reassurance. He says, “Reassure your child by explaining the steps that your family is taking to remain safe, such as social distancing, hand washing, and visiting a doctor if feeling sick.”
Create and Maintain Routines Routines provide comfort, security and predictability for children, so it is important to create and continue these practices. Dr. Lea Lis, adult and child psychiatrist, says, “Stick to familiar routines. Wake them up the same time every day. Go to bed at the same time every day, and make sure to get plenty of exercise, even if all of their sports and activities are canceled.” She also recommends prioritizing education since kids love to learn and learning provides a distraction from their worries.
Kids are resilient. When we provide a safe, comforting environment for them, it will help them to preserve through this pandemic.
Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of three children. Her writing has been published in “The New York Times,” “Parents Magazine,” “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessing,” and more. You can find her on Twitter @CherylMaguire05.
april 2020 | www.nolafamily.com
Dr. Korb says, “Parents can emphasize the things that are not going to change, like the routines and rules and expectations. Bedtimes will be the same. Rules on electronics will still exist. Kids can still chat with friends and relatives through the phone, games, and the internet.”
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