President Welfare
President UCF
2011
President UECC
Nominations open until 12 noon Thu 3 Mar www.fxu.org.uk/elections news: Goodbye University College Falmouth? Goodbye University College Falmouth?- Recent education cuts hit Falmouth where it really hurts, with the future of creative and vocation courses under threat.
news: CSM Crazy Week Raising and giving, turned fun... CSM proves you can raise nearly £3000 for charity, and still go crazy.
ISSUE 17 FEBUARY 28th
Science: The Reel Cost of Cod and Chips
REVIEWS: Music: Tinie TempaH Listening to Tinie is like listening to audio commentary over a NES game, or being threatened
Irresponsible fishing brought to the limelight: Join the “Fish Fight” to help ensure that we keep seafood sustainable.
REVIEWS: Book: We Need To Talk About
TV: Tool Tool Academy
Kevin
There is something strangely addictive about the show- excellent comedy mixed with something sincere and touching.
When a 15 year old commits a massacre in his school, the question is raised- is evil inherent or acquired?
LIFESTYLE:
Film: Black n
Body Modification
A film that is suprising and unique in every detail; an insight into the state of mind during a performance.
Are tattoos still taboo? Do we still associate piercings with punks? Does body modification still affect people’s jobs careers?
Gaming: Deadspace 2 ART:
A great sequel to an already good franchise-had me generally unsettled.
Jim Makepeace Boswell I like cats, coffee, and books, and I’ll use any media I can get my grubby paws on.
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NEWS
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n light of what the world has been witnessing in the Middle East and North Africa, It has recently come to my attention that the “March for the Alternative” demonstration on March 26th against government budget cuts to public sector areas has already been hijacked by rampaging anarchists bent on destruction. In particular, one Facebook group wishes to create a black bloc tactic on March 26th. (In short, black bloc tactic is when everybody where’s black so as to hide their identities). Claims of setting up “barricades” on the day, bringing hammers, crowbars and the like automatically give the day a sense of siege warfare as opposed to a demonstration! The group claims that “peaceful protests don’t work”, what happened to Gandhi and his status? There is another group that wishes to turn Hyde Park into Tahrir Square. The main reason being so they can have a base of operations to “hatch plots”. To me this seems absurdly idealistic. London is not Egypt. We hold democratic elections every 4 years, and any thought of making London into a country that falls under a little pressure is silly. The point I’m putting across is that on March 26th, the police will not be expecting students, aged
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s control of Libya slips from Muammar Gaddafi’s grasp, the man who has held power over the country for more than 40 years cuts an increasingly bizarre figure. As Flex goes to print, the dictator’s latest TV appearance has seen him comparing his rule to that of The Queen, whilst blaming (amongst other things) hallucinogenic drugs, Nescafe and, perhaps most surprisingly, Osama Bin laden for the increasingly powerful people’s revolution sweeping the country. Whilst it is tempting to see Gaddafi as a comical figure, an off-kilter version of Dad’s Army’s Captain Mainwairing, desperate to uphold some sense of authority whilst chaos envelops all that he tries to control, it is worth remembering that it is exactly this sort of desperation that causes the most extreme of reactions. Like an aging lion that finds itself rounded on by its pack, Gaddafi has so far backed himself slowly back into a corner, lashing out ferociously and erratically. Gaddafi, a man responsible for a history of violence, death and destruction in Libya is daily
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isclaimer: The opinions expressed in FLEX are not necessarily those of FLEX Editors or the team, nor FXU Students Union. Every care is taken to ensure information is correct in each issue, but when it is incorrect, FLEX cannot accept any liability for the incorrect
16-22, but adults too. Adults who are angry that their way of life is being disrupted, and may well turn angry on the day. When the police see groups like black bloc and other splinter groups, who obviously have something to hide, (why else turn up in balaclavas and dressed the same), then the stronger force of police protection and riot control may be used. The Conservative Government is fostering a way of life for those who wish to work hard. Stay at home idealists as some would call them, will obviously be worse off under this, but then again it is their fault for being apathetic. March 26th will be interesting, so keep up to date with developments, and on the day, expect to see some scenes and actions that will bring global attention. Managing director
Ian Pogonowski,
becoming potentially more dangerous than he has ever been previously. The seeming inevitability of his fall must not let us forget that just before that fall happens he will most likely launch his most desperate, violent and remorseless reaction. Whilst a new dawn for Libya is surely on the horizon, the world will hold its breath in hope that the death throes of Gaddafi’s reign steer clear of major casualties before the Libyan people can begin rebuilding. Echoing emails sent round by Exeter University this week, Flex offers its sincerest support and goodwill to those students affected by the events in Libya over the past and coming few days. Chief Editor
Paul Tucker
information. The publisher cannot accept any liability for loss or damage of artwork submitted. The content in FLEX is the property of FLEX. If you wish to use any content, please contact the managing director.
FLEX STAFF Managing Director Ian Pogonowski- 07854 087536 imp202@exeter.ac.uk Chief Editors Anna Grant-Casey - ag335@ex.ac.uk Seren Adams - sa118778@falmouth.ac.uk Paul Tucker - pt249@exeter.ac.uk Graphic Designers Omari McCarthy- Design ManagerMorwenna Smith Nadya Pandelieva Rachel Maria Smith Guro Lindahl Flåten Lou Robinson Henry Brown Photographers Andrew Guest Eleina May Jack Scott Michael Etherington
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News Anna Grant-Casey - ag335@exeter.ac.uk Rebecca Griffiths - rg121808@falmouth.ac.uk Science Michael Hawkes - Science editor - mh317@exeter.ac.uk Lifestyle Hannah Banks Walker - Lifestyle Editor - hb264@exeter.ac.uk Features Mark Burton - Features Editor - mb349@exeter.ac.uk Sarah Stevenson - Features Editor - SS121826@falmouth.ac.uk Art & Design Catherine Durham - cd122522@falmouth.ac.uk Rhiannon Williams -Illustration Editor rhi_u_williams@hotmail.co.uk Jemma Green - Creative Writing Editor jemmaruthgreen@googlemail.com John-Paul Somerville - Fine Art Editor jpsomerville@msn.com Kayung Lai - Photography Editor - kl119169@falmouth.ac.uk Reviews Dora Eisele - Reviews Editor - de224@exeter.ac.uk
Alex Raffle - Reviews Editor - alex.raffle1@gmail.com Emma Thompson -Reviews Editor - et246@exeter.ac.uk Sports Chris Rushton - Sports Editor - cr267@exeter.ac.uk Proofing Team Charis Bryant - Copy Editor Anna Grant-Casey - Proofing Manager Kathryn Hosking Dominique le Grange Anna Kilcooley Emma Chafer Samantha Webster Becca Hadfield Marketing Kaylie Finn - kf228@exeter.ac.uk
news@flexnews.co.uk
news Tuition Fees begin to climb Text Charlotte Presland
Earlier this week, Imperial College London became the first university in England to adopt the new rise in tuition fees. From 2012, students wishing to attend the prestigious university will
have to pay £9000 regardless of subject. It has stated that the decision was made in order to “maintain the excellence of the education” at the institution, and has triggered other universities to follow their lead. Other institutions such as Cambridge and Oxford University have shown signs of being on the brink of deciding to also raise the tuition fees in order to maintain an appearance of quality that rivals the top universities in the country. In doing so, these three institutions make it difficult for other leading universities to charge lower rates, and run the risk of sparking a premature rise in tuition fees. Despite the university’s claims that they need to charge
higher costs in order to make up for the cuts in the education budget, the government has urged a less hasty revision of fees. They press the fact that universities will find it very hard to raise their costs above £6000 and will have to validate their reasons of doing so to the Office of Fair Access. In order to be successful with their application, the institutions must prove to the board that they have done everything in their power to keep costs to students at a minimum. It remains to be seen whether they will be successful, and we will have to wait until this summer, when all will be revealed on the outcome of university fee plans. We can only hope that there will be some universities with the student’s interest at heart.
Goodbye University College Falmouth? Text Charlotte Presland
The release of the Russell Group handbook has sparked a national debate about the value of vocational courses, and their effect on the reputation of universities across the country. The Group has advised students undertaking A-levels to stay clear of what they call “soft” courses, suggesting that top-end universities value more academic subjects over courses such as Media and Business Studies. Alongside this, these “soft” courses have been axed due tuition fee cuts and lack of funding. This has resulted in the discontinuation of higher level courses, including Photography and Contemporary Crafts. Not only are vocational courses to be axed, but certain institutions are feeling threatened by the new government’s outlook on the value of these courses. It is rumoured that UCF are among the institutions that fear being completely axed. It is needless to say that this removal of a prestigious arts university such as UCF would be detrimental to those wishing to study a vocational course; however the dire effect it would have on Falmouth’s economy is often overlooked. When asked to comment on what he thought of UCF’s removal, Lance Turton, a local to Falmouth and worker at Mango Tango, summarised local concern; “if UCF was to close we would
be suffering a huge loss. Our economy will take a huge hit, especially in the all-too-quiet winter months. Think of all the landlords and property developers who have invested in student housing. The majority of these houses and flats will now stand empty. On top of all this we would be losing so much of the creative flair that these students bring to this town.” Since UCF’s establishment in Falmouth, it is estimated that students generate £20 million a year. Without this money, many of the town’s facilities would fail to survive in the strenuous financial climate. They not only bring economic wealth to the town, but events such as the Fashion Show and regular exhibitions in The Poly help to keep Cornish culture and heritage alive, whilst also publicising it to the wider local community. Despite these detrimental effects, UCF has already witnessed its first cuts as courses such as Spatial Design, Interior Design, and Garden Design have already been axed from the institution. Changes have been widespread over the country, fuelling a national debate about the value of university courses. Regarding Tremough as a shared learning environment, disagreements are expected within such a diverse campus. However Exeter and Falmouth students have often been in conflict over the touchy subject of “soft” courses. Laurence Nairne, a second year Digital Animation student at UCF believes that “cuts have to be made somewhere, but there are many courses as part of UCF that lead onto higher level careers and they are being victimised. There are also a lot more academic courses that don’t necessarily lead anywhere, so it’s very difficult to decide where cuts should be made.” Tom Ramuz, a third year Law student at University of Ex-
eter on the other hand believes that “many of these ‘soft courses’ teach skills which can be learnt just as well and maybe more efficiently as part of an internship or apprenticeship course. It would also bring back the prestigious nature of being a university student that in recent years has been eroded, which is unfair on students doing very academically challenging subjects.” Whilst it is arguable that apprenticeships are beneficial, there is clearly a bias within the government regarding their value, evident from funding figures. Whilst they aim to spend £7.1 billion on university education, the budget for apprenticeships stands at a meagre £6.48 million- a difference that clearly sums up the government’s attitude to these ”soft” courses. UCF can only hope that their cry to keep Britain’s artistic spark alive is heard. Anne Carlisle, Rector and Chief Executive of UCF reassured students, saying that the university is “in no danger of shutting down. The institution is in a strong financial position. This confidence arises from our own continued growth, and because UCF successfully delivers awards (from Foundation to PhD) in disciplines which statistics show have collectively become the second most popular area of study in the UK, (the arts - art, design, media and performance). On top of this, the Creative Industries are now universally acknowledged as one of the fastest growing and most buoyant industrial sectors in Europe.” She added that UCF will be publishing its own Annual Report in the near future, and that the combination of an academic and vocational education, and an “entrepreneurial outlook” means that UCF’s creative courses have “never been more sought after, or relevant.”
Falmouth is a safe place? Text Lisa Hallifax
Following a recently reported assault, students and locals of Falmouth insist that the area has not been branded correctly as a pillar of increasing crime. The assault took place on the 21st January in Foxes’ Lane at 7:30pm on a lone female. After threats of violence and a struggle, she escaped and called emergency services. The police are still investigating the incident and are appealing for information related to the incident. Falmouth is far from a centre of criminal activity. The attitudes held by both locals and students demonstrate that crimes
in Falmouth, while shocking, do not betray feelings of safety in the old Cornish town. One student, Yvonne Rattenberry commented that, “Because of the influx of young people, there is an encouragement for these problems. Someone may see students as easy targets.” This would suggest that an increase in the student population encourages criminal behaviour however, with an increasing percentage of student flats being broken into, it is certain that students are not the cause, but rather the victims. Nonetheless, if problems such as these do occur, they are still uncommon.
Kevin Ayres, a local resident, reflected on these issues, believing the events to be “out of the ordinary”, which reiterates the safety of the public. He continues to say that, “Falmouth is a safe place. It is shocking when crimes do happen locally. People aren’t used to it.” Many Cornish towns, including Falmouth and the surrounding areas are regarded highly as safe residential areas. Therefore the unusual string of recent crimes should not deter holiday makers nor potential students for coming to the area.
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NEWS
Cornwall Roller Derby Text Carly Squires
A new sport has come to Cornwall, Roller Derby. The flat-track, full contact American sport on skates was first born in the 1930s. After a minor downturn in popularity during the 1960s and 1970s Roller Derby has returned strong and defiant within the last ten years and this is something that Cornwall has not wanted to
miss out on. The Cornwall Roller Derby league, created by local women is a non-profit organisation based both here in Falmouth and Newquay, which both plays and promotes the sport. The league started early in 2010, and rapidly becoming popular in not only its reputation as an exciting, incredibly physical sport- but also as a community activity for both local residents and students alike. A common myth related to Roller Derby is that it is a woman only sport and of course this just is not true – Cornwall Roller Derby promotes the notion of women’s, men’s and mixed gender teams. The game itself is fully regulated by the Women’s Flat Track
Derby Association. It involves two teams on a flat, oval-shaped track with one member of each team trying to lap the track to obtain points, whilst the rest of their team try to block their opponents. This of course all happens on quad skates, making it just that little bit more difficult. However, Roller Derby is so much more than the game itself, as it is encourages both team spirit and community involvement. Through the creation of alter-ego personalities- player names such as ‘Bloody Nora’ and ‘Madame Gutterfly’. Roller Derby empowers its skaters and is a serious sport which is inclusive of all ages, size and ability. For more information contact: cornwall-roller-derby@hotmail.com.
CSM Crazy Week Text Ian Pogonowski
Raising and giving, turned fun... Most universities see RAG events throughout the year, but CSM’s RAG week is Tremough’s only one. The idea of Crazy Week sees students doing RAG events around the local area, with new and inventive means of raising money for selected charities. The charities that were collected for this year were: • RNLI • Cornwall Air Ambulance • Niemann-Pick disease • Help for Heroes CSM Freshers scrummed for a place on the Crazy Week
committee who organise the events. The team this year consisted of: Matt Kennedy (Chairman), Nicholas Schutte (Vice Chairman), Charlotte Bryant (Entertainments), Stu Macknight (Treasurer), Woody (Rag Mag Chief Editor) and the Rag Mag Committee of Bobby Pyne, Max Fenn, and Dan Phillips. If you happened to see a guy walking around in a mankini, or some animals running into your lecture, this was part of the awareness-raising for the event. The craziness of the acts bring attention to the cause. Matt Kennedy commented about the awareness. “A lot of people come under the impression that we are just CSM trying to cause havoc, tearing through Campus and bothering people for their money” . Adding that “It is all in humour though and done for all the right reasons”. Matt commented about the wider appeal of CSM’s RAG committee.“We are the only association that keeps that alive on the Cornwall Campus and do nothing but raise money all week”. Travelling to Truro, Camborne, Penryn and Falmouth every
day collecting money from 9am-4pm in all weathers, the RAG Committee are dedicated to the cause, but more importantly, the tradition. The week culminated in the Sexy Swagger Party at the Stannary. Attracting over 500 people, the night was filled with, well... sexy swagger. The turning point of the night saw CSM guys do a full monty on stage, leaving only their mining hats. FLEX asked Matt what the most crazy thing done was. “It’s very hard to try and decide the craziest thing that happened... many of the committee I think will join me in saying that doing the Full Monty live on stage at Sexy Swagger Stannary Party gets the adrenalin going!” And the least crazy activity was touted to be the raffle with 36pints of Skinner’s as first prize. “Crazy or not, it’s all going to a good cause which is what we care about”. All in all, the week was very successful. Raising in excess of £2700, CSM RAG has proven their successful attributes again prior to the Bottle Match in March.
FXU SHAG Week Text Liam Corcoran
Sexual health awareness and guidance (SHAG) week could have been an interesting, fun and informative week for students. However, it fell short of expectations. SHAG week was supposed to be full of fun activities with some great prizes, but ultimately its aim was to inform students about the risks of sex and give them any advice they need. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, the week didn’t do as promised. Tim Port, FXU Welfare President and master planner of the week said: “It’s been done for pretty much most years. Last year, Samantha was the welfare president and she did SHAG week. “She put up a couple of stands around Tremough and Woodlane, walked around and talked to students which was really good. She got interactive with students, started telling them some facts. “She walked round in a morph suit, hat and a utility belt which made her stand out. It is about finding ways of being more interesting which I thought I would do this time, do something a
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little bit more fun, maybe make it a little bit more interesting. “My initial idea was to have a huge fair where people do competitions and jello fighting.” The week was meant to consist of; a film night, a date and quiz night, a sex fair and to end the week, the Climax Ball. The film night went ahead without hitch, with students enjoying the perfectly chosen American Pie and then staying around after for the sex education video. The week started to fall apart when it got to the date and quiz night. Due to the football, the date night was cancelled, leaving just the quiz taking place. Many people came up after the football to take part in the quiz. The quiz was light -hearted and fun but with an underlying serious message. It revealed a lot of facts that people didn’t know about sex, something that the week was intended to do. There were many prizes for the week, and the prizes for the quiz were a seven disc box set of American Pie and one crate of Skinners Ale. ‘The Angry Pirates’ won the quiz, jumping up and giving a “whoop” when they heard the news. At the end of the night, Mr Port rounded it off by giving out some condoms and Chlamydia tests saying that, “the idea is to get as many people tested as possible, because Chlamydia is one of the most common STIs, and students are the most prone to this disease”. All the 60 Chlamydia test kits were taken. The sex fare is where the week hit its lowest point, at the time when it should have been at its best. The most information was meant to be given out at the fare, from a variety of different organisations. Mr Port had said: “Initially I was going to get Ann Summers and different departments from the NHS. Ann Summers have
dropped out sadly, but I still have Health Gig Cornwall, Chlamydia bunch that are coming down, we have Rose Westwood who is our nurse on campus. “It is not going to be as interesting as I hoped with fun and games, but we will have all the important things there, all the test kits and information, and putting it across in as much of a fun way as I can.” Going along to the fair, there was just one stand, and only two people had turned up to give advice to students: Emma Gardner from the NHS and Kim Lyall from Cornwall’s Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre. Miss Lyall said: “It has been good day and we have had quite a few students come over but it is hard to get them to talk about rape and abuse, the condoms are going quite quickly though, which is good. “The day could have been better, it would have been nice to have a few more stands round.” she added. The week ended with the FXU Climax Ball. A busy Stannary saw many scantily clad males and females, and everybody loved it. Being different to usual gigs, the Climax Ball saw Performance students dance in nurse outfits on stage, penis and sperm decorations littered the Stannary, and the Rodeo Penis (one of two in UK) added that new spark to the Stannary. Best of all was the music by ex- Falmouth president Taylor Worthington. The cheese / chart music pleased everyone, and brought much fun till 2am. Between what was promised, and what was actually received at the end of the week, there was a big difference. For students, sexual health is a big issue and the week didn’t provide all the information that they really need.
news@flexnews.co.uk
Be smart, be safe and plan ahead
STUDENTS are being urged to plan ahead to make sure they enjoy their years at university. For many young adults living away from home is their first experience of living on their own and criminals are known to target this naivety. Devon and Cornwall Police is urging students living near university cities and towns to think about what they can do to make themselves less vulnerable. “By following some simple advice students can dramatically reduce the likelihood of them being the subject of a crime,” said
PC John Dukes. “To many people what we are saying is just common sense but common sense is something we all have to learn and it is important to give advice and help to these young people as they start out their lives as adults.” The police advise you to plan ahead by doing the following: • Walk in well lit, well used areas where there are lots of people Always stay alert • Think about how you’ll be getting home before you go out • If you use a taxi make sure it is licensed. If the taxi driver doesn’t know your name – don’t get in! • Always carry your mobile, make sure it is charged and you have enough credit • If you look and act drunk you are more vulnerable – drink responsibly • Friends look after each other, make sure your mates know where you’re going • Remember to call 999 in emergencies or 08452 777 444 for non-urgent crimes.
Drink. Relax. Play. Text Alex Raffle
Inspired by innovative examples springing up in Japan, along with wanting to provide something different, Falmouth film graduate James Dance combined the social aspects of a cafe, with the fun of video games to create Loading- a gaming cafe right here in Falmouth.
A gaming cafe/bar is a fairly new concept; several bars in Japan have become increasingly fashionable, while international bars are attempting to do the same. Fortunately since it’s opening almost a year ago, Loading has successfully created this innovative idea locally.
Thanks to the relaxed space of the cafe and it’s full alcohol license; Loading can host numerous events- ranging from private parties to film screenings (such as involvement in last year’s Cornwall Film Festival). While also the most social facet of gaming multiplayer competitions, most recently shooter Goldeneye and racer Mario Kart creating a social event quite unlike any other in Falmouth. Despite residing in a small location, the atmosphere is comfortable and inviting. Numerous consoles are available to play, as well as a retro gaming table with literally hundreds of titles on it. The cafe menu has a wide selection of soft and hot drinks as well as milkshakes comprised of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavours, and various light lunch food options. And to complete the experience there’s free Wifi and Spotify available too. Recently the license has been utilised to create game inspired cocktails, by cocktail expert Chris, though he prefers to go by Mr. Beyonce. Cocktails include the Bioshock Blitzer, a blue citrusy drink with a kick. So get some experience points by heading down there to find out for yourself, if you struggle to find it, it’s opposite Shades. The rest of the menu is on http://facebook.com/loadingbar or the website http://drinkrelaxplay.co.uk/images/shooters.jpg
Disability: Discrimination Thrown back into the limelight Text Owen Hind Ed Miliband and his Labour party have been placed on the back foot amid allegations of disability discrimination and open bullying in the House of Commons. The allegations emerged when the Conservative MP Paul Maynard spoke out about the behaviour of some Labour MPs towards him during a recent speech made in the chamber. Maynard has accused some Labour MPs of imitating the effects of his cerebral palsy by pulling exaggerated and contorted faces whilst he spoke during a debate on the Child Trust Fund. No M.P. has been named, nor any come forward to offer an explanation. However, an unnamed Labour MP present at the debate confirmed that the abuse did take place. Defending their party, it was added that many Labour MPs were ‘muttering in disgust’ about colleagues behaviour. The Labour leader, who is currently riding high in the polls (averaging well above 40%) is yet to publically denounce the behaviour of some of his back
benchers. On the other side of the chamber the issue is undoubtedly opening up poorly healed wounds for the Prime Minister because his son Ivan died from Cerebral Palsy related complications. Commons debates are notorious for their intimidating atmosphere, but mocking and harassment usually revolve around poorly constructed arguments or simply to unsettle their opponent. Torments of Race, disability or gender are not ethically or morally acceptable. If similar behaviour was exhibited at a by a member of the public, those in question would no doubt be labelled racist and prejudiced. However behaviour which would not be tolerated in Education and the work place is apparently acceptable in our lower chamber. Perhaps more importantly the guilty Labour MPs will undoubtedly have disabled constituents, many of whom will struggle substantially more with their disability than Paul Maynard
does. In a country where one in five people live with ill health, injury or disability and, where 30% of disabled households live in poverty. Members of Parliament should be substantially more understanding of the effects of living with a disability. Without fully understanding, how can they best represent and support their most vulnerable constituents? The incident will re-open the debate on how we, as a society, react to the issue of disability. Most people will remember the case in 2009 when Riam Dean won a disability discrimination case against the high street retailer Abercrombie and Fitch after she was transferred from the shop floor because of her prosthetic arm and it is likely that Maynards interview will generate a similar debate on whether people living with a disability are treated with the same respect as non disabled people.
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science@flexnews.co.uk
SCIEnCE local people vs. conservation By Adam Jones The South African economy is the strongest in the whole of Africa, and is rated 26th in the world for purchasing power, far above many first world countries. Despite this wealth, South Africa is still suffering in the wake of apartheid, with the gap between the richest and poorest people in the country among the highest recorded worldwide.
“When conservation collides with local interest, there can be conflict” In a country with so much potential, there is a huge conflict between human progress and the preservation of nature. With a quarter of the population living in poverty, shanty towns sprawl out into the wilderness, forcing people to share space with wild animals. However, with the recent rise of conservation, vast areas of land are being fenced off and declared protected reserves. This land is valuable, even somewhere as huge as Africa, and is used by local people for vital practices such as farming and water collection. In such a rapidly developing country, the
Photo: Kristy “The Rock” Flowers
land is also valuable economically; for mining, logging, commercial agriculture and, perhaps most importantly, as an area to provide cheap and comfortable housing for the everexpanding population. The problem lies in finding a balance in which the South African people benefit from their land, as they rightly should,
but where the native flora and fauna are also protected. South Africa is a paradise for wildlife. Due to its isolation by oceans and deserts, South Africa’s Cape area is one of the most unique and diverse ecosystems on the planet. It is also home to the big game for which Africa is famous, including lions, rhinos and elephants. Conservation of such an area is vital, not just to preserve individual species which are under threat, but to save the entire ecosystem from being destroyed. Areas such as Addo Elephant National Park contain much more than ‘The Big Five’. They are home to thousands of plant and insect species, many of which are not documented by science and could provide invaluable chemicals and compounds which would go undiscovered should they be lost. When conservation collides with local interest, there can be conflict. Many would argue that conserving wildlife should only occur once the human population is well provided for. But the two do not have to be opposing forces. With correct management, conservation can provide tourism and jobs, working in harmony with the local community, while stopping the wildlife from being lost forever.
killing for conservation By Kyle Winney A total of 333 rhinos were illegally killed in South Africa in 2010- that’s one rhino every 26 hours. The slaughter of such a symbolic animal has provoked a military-style response to the poaching crisis. So far this year 22 rhinos have been poached, and 9 suspected poachers have been killed. But can this killing of human life be justified? Should poaching be punishable by death? The ethical dimensions of wildlife conservation are rarely explored. Well-intentioned attempts at saving endangered species from extinction could be creating injustices, and could also be reinforcing the stereotype that local people are the enemies of conservation.
“A total of 333 rhinos were illegally killed in South Africa in 2010” The illicit wildlife trade is inextricably linked with organised crime. The lure of high profits and the relatively low risk of capture and prosecution coupled with the evergrowing demand for animal parts have created a thriving black market industry. Organised syndicates now use helicopters, night vision equipment, and hire desperate local people in order to supply their consumers. The increasing affluence among the Chinese and Vietnamese (the principal market for illegal wildlife parts) has made rhino horn in particular more affordable. Traditionally, rhino horn medicine is used to cure anything from colds to impotence; recently a Vietnamese government official declared it had even cured him of cancer. Rhino horn is now more lucrative than gold, despite the fact that it is actually made of keratin, and is therefore comparable
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to using finger nails or hair to alleviate an illness. Changing the attitudes of consumers is the overriding aim, and although it seems doubtful, it has been achieved before. The collapse of the Ivory trade in Europe and North America since the 1980s demonstrates that it can be done through education and public campaigning. This approach will undoubtedly take considerable time, but the current rate of poaching suggests rhinos don’t have this luxury. A chronic lack of political will and ineffective law enforcement increasingly undermines the incredible work achieved in reviving rhino populations in South Africa. The hard-line approach now being adopted in South Africa may prove damaging in the long run. A key failure of the western-style approach is the assumption that poor local people are the problem, the poachers and habitat destroyers. Criminalising and alienating poverty-stricken communities fails to identify the real problem. These people being killed are simply trying to survive and provide for their families. Conservationists need local people on their side to lead them to the masterminds of the industry. When wildlife reserves are established local communities find that severe restrictions have outlawed their subsistence way of life. The inability to tackle these injustices and work with local people is where conservation fails. Identifying and addressing the ultimate threats to conservation is crucial to effectively conserve species. The social impacts of protected areas and the subsequent conflicts surrounding them must be examined, so that better practices for wildlife and people can be developed.
SCIEnCE
the reel cost of cod and chips By Christopher Bailey I am sure you have all seen or at least heard of the recent ‘Fish Fight’ campaign over the past couple of weeks. As a zoology student and keen angler, I want to ensure that your next trip to the chippy is a responsible one.
50% of all fish caught in British waters are thrown back every day. These fish are dead, yet due to ridiculous regulations it is illegal to land them. Gone are the days of targeting the big cod and leaving the small fry. Now large nets with small holes are catching anything and everything. Fishermen have to target certain species and yet this cannot be done without bycatch. This bycatch is often fish for which there is a high demand. Instead of either being caught and eaten, or left alone to mature and reproduce, they are hauled up in nets and thrown back over the side to be devoured by seagulls - who seem to be the only beneficiaries of this farcical system. The state of our fish stocks is alarming. We catch over 4 times less fish today than we did when records began back in 1889. When you take into account the fishing power we possess in the form of trawlers with nets kilometres long, and computers that can pin point shoals of fish, the situation looks worryingly bleak. Per unit of fishing power, our yield from the oceans is less than 6% compared to the small wooden boats of
Whiting thrown back due to size.
the late 19th Century. No-one can deny that something drastic needs to happen but the complicated reality means that this may be a long process. Balancing our increasing demand for fish and the health of the stocks is no mean feat. Hopefully the 2012 reform of the Common Fishing Policy will ban the discard of fish, and
place regulations on catch rather than landings. There are several ways in which we can all help. Firstly get behind the ‘Fish Fight’ campaign. Sign the petition and prevent this issue from being overlooked. If this was happening to glamorous animals such as tigers, no-one would stand for it.
“50% of all fish caught in British waters are thrown back every day” Secondly, when you are next at the local fish and chip shop please try something new. In my opinion, cod is the most mundane option offered. Why not try line-caught pollock, fresh lemon sole or my personal favourite, a mackerel bap? All these fish are abundant in our waters, can be caught locally, and taste fantastic! The last way is by far the best. Grab a rod, join Tremough Angling Club and catch your own dinner; there’s no better way to enjoy a fish than to have caught it yourself. [Ed]: Also, Ecosoc and the FXU Environment and Ethics Committee have teamed up to bring you a series of events to promote sustainable fishing and awareness of the marine environment. They will have talks by Surfers Against Sewage and the Silver Dolphin Centre as well as films and other fantastic events. Search “Falmouth Fish Fight” on Facebook for more information.
Amoebas have a brand new combine harvester By Michael Hawkes The day that the first Homo sapiens decided to plant a seed in the ground was the day that the course of human history changed forever. Agriculture allowed us to form permanent settlements and increase our population, ultimately paving the way for the possibility of modern civilisation. The rest of the natural world, however, simply looked up and asked: “what took you so long?” Scientists at Rice University, Texas have discovered that the amoeba Dictyostelium discoideum, a type of slime mould, uses a primitive form of farming to provide itself with the food it needs to survive in new environments. Previously thought to exclusively hunt bacteria, they could now be the earliest known farmers on the planet. D. discoideum is a species widely studied for its complex social behaviour. The slime mould starts out life as a single cell that eats bacteria, but when the food supply runs out it changes tact. The individual cell comes together with tens of thousands of others to form a communal, multicellular ‘slug’. This tiny ‘slug’ then migrates to try to find its constituents a new food supply but eventually stops, turning into an elongated stalk tipped with a bulb; this is called the “fruiting body”. Individual cells that were lucky enough to find their way into the bulb become spores that, when released, go on to become new individual cells. The rest are left behind, their sacrifice giving their closely related slug-mates a chance of survival. The scientists collected samples of the slime mould from the wild and found that roughly one third of the fruiting bodies contained bacteria. This posed a problem. If the slime mould only formed stalks when it had run out of bacteria to eat, why were some bulbs full of it?
The answer lay in the timing of the mould’s social behaviour. The researchers found that one third of the amoebas stopped feeding earlier than the rest, despite there being bacteria left to eat. The remaining food was then absorbed into the communal slug. When the slug migrated and formed a stalk, the bacteria were shuffled into the bulb and released with the spores. The researchers argue that by doing this, the amoebas are seeding a new crop of bacteria for newly released single-cells to feed on - that they are farming.
In the end, evolution and social behaviour are what underpin all farming in nature. Through kin selection (a kind of natural selection that favours benefits gained by close relatives), evolution can sculpt sophisticated social behaviours from organisms that we might otherwise regard as simple. While many people may see the agricultural achievements of humanity as unique within the natural world, it’s worth remembering that evolution had been cultivating farmers for millions of years before our species even existed.
“In the end, evolution and social behaviour are what underpin all farming in nature” If we accept the researchers’ argument, the amoebas would join a long and varied list of organisms that lead an agricultural lifestyle. Many such organisms, including ants and termites, practice farming that might be considered more typical, and this behaviour can be quite sophisticated. Ants, for example, can sustainably cultivate their crop by mulching down leaves and other organic matter for their fungus to grow on. Some species of ant even keep aphids like cattle, ‘milking’ them for the sugary honeydew they excrete. After conducting further experiments, the researchers found that these ‘farmer’ moulds grow significantly more than ‘non-farmers’ when bacteria are scarce in a new environment, although this is not the case when bacteria are present. As bacteria numbers in the wild can vary dramatically over small distances, farmer moulds retain enough of a competitive edge for natural selection to allow the behaviour to persist in a percentage of the population.
Life cycle of Dictyostelium discoideum. Formation of stalk and bulb is numbered in order (the slug is just chilling). Not pictured: single celled stage. Photo: M.J. Grimson & R.L. Blanton. Biological Sciences Electron Microscopy Laboratory, Texas Tech University
Want to read the original paper?: Brock et al. 2011. Primitive agriculture in a social amoeba. Nature. 469: 393-396
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Egypt Gives the West a Lesson in Democracy As revolution sweeps through the North African state and beyond, Jake O’Leary draws both worrying and inspiring parallels with recent unrest and its Policing in the UK.
In its first six weeks, 2011 has already proved to be a year of revolution. We have seen popular uprisings against oppressive dictatorships in North Africa that seem to be spreading across the Arab world. January’s ‘Jasmine Revolution’ in Tunisia brought an end to the 23-year-rule of Zine el-Abidine Ben Ali, forcing the tyrant to flee to Saudi Arabia. And now Egyptians have successfully deposed Hosni Mubarak, the brutal dictator that has ruled Egypt with an iron fist for the last 30 years. The last four weeks have seen unprecedented scenes of mass demonstration in Cairo and others cities across the country. On 11th February, the courage and resilience of ordinary Egyptians paid off: Mubarak fled, leaving Egypt’s future to be decided by her people. But this new freedom was hard won. Mubarak’s initial response to the protests was typical of a tyrannical despot. First of all, he sent his brutal state police to beat, tear-gas and murder the protest movement into submission. When the police were overcome, he sent ‘pro-Mubarak supporters’ (plain-clothes police officers and paid thugs) into the streets to attack the demonstrators. Journalists were also targeted in an attempt to prevent both foreign and Egyptian media from reporting on events. Ultimately, the violence of the regime proved powerless to halt the revolution. Amid escalating demonstrations and striking Mubarak transferred power to the army and absconded to the Red Sea resort of Sharm-el-Sheikh. Now a dialogue will open between leaders of the revolution and the military, who say they are committed to a ‘free democratic state’. In this the army echoes the language of the White House and Downing Street. In recent weeks Western politicians have repeatedly called for an ‘orderly transition to democracy’ in Egypt. But Egyptians are suspicious of the West’s apparent show of support, as well they should be. Before Mubarak fell, his vicepresident, Omar Suleiman, was in talks with the US, and it looked likely that there would be an attempt to install him as Egypt’s next leader. The US also donates $1.3 billion a year in military aid to Egypt, directly financing the plight of the Egyptian people under Mubarak. Writing last week in the Guardian, Noam Chomsky argues that this backing of statesponsored oppression is about ensuring Arab states remain friendly to US oil interests. “The dictators support us. Their subjects can be ignored – unless they break their chains – and then policy must be adjusted,” says Chomsky. Over the last the month we have seen an adjustment of US policy in Egypt in response to the threat of Egyptian democracy. Egyptians then will be on guard against the introduction of a Western brand of ‘democracy’ that won’t really represent the interests of ordinary people, but keep the
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Image courtesy of Kodak Agfa
oil flowing to Western shores. Because on closer inspection, Western democracy bears striking resemblances to the autocracy that has only just been overthrown. Of course, no one would suggest that living in the UK or US is anywhere near as terrible as living under dictatorship. The quality of life that we enjoy in the West is incomparable to the hardships endured by most of the world’s population. But, like Mubarak’s regime, our governments often act independently of the will of the people they govern. This is particularly true of foreign policy. Writing recently in the Independent, Johann Hari cites a statement made last year by former Labour MP, Lorna Fitzsimons: “Public opinion does not influence foreign policy in Britain. Foreign policy is an elite issue.” The most obvious example of this is Iraq. Despite hundreds of thousands of British people attending one of the largest anti-war demonstrations London has ever seen, Britain went to war in 2003. And here we are in 2011, still there. Now our democracy is looking less democratic than ever. We are living under a Tory government that the majority of British people did not vote for. Our education, our healthcare and our forests are being
privatised. Financial support for the disabled, homeless, unemployed and young people is being withdrawn. Our libraries are being closed and charities are struggling to survive. Over the holiday 100,000 public sector workers received Christmas presents from the Coalition government: letters telling them they may be made redundant. At the same time David Cameron and George Osborne are allowing senior banking staff at RBS (owned by us, the taxpayers) to make millionpound bonuses and letting big companies like Vodafone and Topshop get away with billions in unpaid tax. The biggest attempt made so far to voice opposition to these undemocratic measures has been met with tactics familiar to Mubarak and co. At the student demonstration in London, on the day parliament voted in favour of the tuition fees hike, peacefully protesting students were surrounded by Metropolitan Police officers in riot gear and beaten with batons when they asked to be let go. Some protesters were kept in the cold for up to eight or nine hours. Middlesex University student, Alfie Meadows, sustained a serious brain injury after being hit on the head with a police baton, and there has been outrage over footage of disabled journalist Jody
McIntyre being pulled out of his wheelchair by police officers and dragged along the street. Like Egyptian state television, coverage of student protests by the BBC and rightwing media largely pandered to the official government line. David Cameron labelled the demonstrators a ‘feral mob’, and we have seen a subsequent demonisation of students in the press attempting to present us as dangerous radicals. But, as Chomsky says, ordinary people can be dangerous to governments when they “break their chains”. In just a few weeks, the Egyptian people peacefully dismantled one of the longest-standing dictatorships in the Arab world. They will not be sold a phony democracy by the US or the UK that allows their continued exploitation by Western governments and big businesses. Maybe we should be looking to the Egyptians in coming months as they attempt build their own democracy from within. The March 26 TUC anti-cuts demonstration in London promises to be the biggest yet – let’s find our own Tahrir Square and reclaim our democracy from a Western government acting in its own best interest.
SHAG Week – Down the Straight and Narrow?
FEATURES
Features Editor Mark Burton gets all hot and bothered about this year’s sexual health week.
Sexual Health Awareness and Guidance. In case you were wondering. This February saw the return of the FXU’s annual sexual health week, an event usually marked by a major increase in the number of condoms littered around Tremough. This year, however, the week was characterised by a distinct lack of engagement with sexual issues beyond the kind of puerile, sniggering awkwardness that most of us would associate with secondary school. Tuesday evening’s SHAG-themed film was American Pie, which has its merits, but could certainly never be held up as a shining beacon of good sexual practice. The sexual health fayre seemed to consist of a slightly nervous-looking lady dishing out contraception and Chlamydia test kits in the Stannary for an hour or so on Thursday afternoon. The Climax Ball might have been more aptly-named Cockfest 2011, given the bewildering array of phallic representations and the disturbingly detailed rodeo penis. In the words of one female colleague: “where was the vajay-jay?” This also echoed much of the discontent around the quiz night, where sperm counts were high on the agenda but vaginal discharge was noticeably absent. The emphasis on all things heterosexual was perhaps the most worrying aspect of the whole week. One student, speaking to FLEX, summed it up perfectly: “How would a gay 18-year old feel coming out at uni, when sex education week is so straight?” There was little attention paid to LGBT issues or guidance, and on this point SHAG week was misguided to the point of being potentially damaging. The FXU has a responsibility to all students, and if it wants to offer sexual advice then that must incorporate all aspects of sexual health, not just those associated with heterosexual activities. However, it seems there were a few issues at work which made SHAG week a real challenge to set up and run, so it is
Image courtesy of Olibac
worth looking a little deeper than first impressions. It emerges that the sexual health week is not actually a scheduled FXU event, instead it is a voluntary effort put together by FXU staff alongside their already busy day jobs. This year the event has been largely pioneered by Tim Port, the FXU Welfare President with more energy than the Duracell Bunny: “[SHAG Week] has always been done by the Welfare President as a small campaign as it is only the Welfare President alone who organises it alongside a full time job. I looked back to previous years and thought why not have something a little bit more fun?” Tim admits that there were logistical issues, stating that the interest of certain relevant groups in contributing to the SHAG Fayre (groups such as FXU, relevant student societies,
Tremough Campus Services and especially the local surgeries used by Tremough and Woodlane students) was well below his expectations. In response to suggestions that there was too little engagement with major issues, Tim argues that: “The information during the week was basic with some in depth trivia and important information. There was always the message to promote how and where students can find more if needed.” Perhaps, then, it is unfair to harshly criticise SHAG Week. For the work of one person, the whole week represents an impressive level of voluntary effort and reinscribes the commitment that the FXU Presidents bring to their work. However, this in itself begs wider questions. Most obvious is the question of why a sexual health awareness week is not an official part of the FXU remit. Sexual health is a big issue for students, and more ought to be done in an official capacity to inform and educate. In addition, the fact still remains that what was offered failed to adequately engage with LGBT issues, and that isn’t something that ought to be allowed to pass unnoticed. Overall, it is difficult to resolve the conflicting issues here. On the one hand, many students feel let down by the sexual guidance offered at Tremough, and some of the issues with SHAG Week have only served to exacerbate this. On the other, it would be unfair to roundly condemn SHAG Week given that it was organized, voluntarily, by one person alone. If more of an effort could be made at Tremough to engage effectively with sexual health issues, perhaps in future the efforts of people like Tim might be better supported by more of the relevant institutions active here. What were your thoughts on SHAG Week? Get in touch, flexfeatures@hotmail.co.uk or on Twitter @flexfeatures
Life of a whale or death of a culture? Claire Shaw discusses the often opposing cultural and environmental impacts of whaling and its regulation.
Since the 1970s whaling for commercial and cultural purposes has been an emotive issue, and one that has dominated the news for the last 40 years. The idea of killing such a huge, unique mammal for the mere purpose of human desire is one which many whaling activists believe to be immoral. In 1986 the International Whaling Commission (IWC) issued a ban on commercial whaling, in order to let worldwide whale stocks recover. During this time, small, isolated communities in Alaska, such as the Inuit, were also condemned for whaling, and in the 1970’s were banned from hunting whales on the basis that these communities were harvesting too many Bowhead whales. This ban was issued without the IWC conducting any research conducted into the current population of Bowhead whales, nor into the Inuit’s tradition of whaling. The welfare of the Inuit was neglected and they were left to survive without a sufficient alternative food source. In what circumstance is whaling acceptable? In Alaska whaling is a thousand year old tradition, and one that is vital to the survival of isolated communities. These communities hunt whales every year, during which times only three are hunted per
season. These locals do not hunt whales for commercial purposes, and only take from the ocean what they need for subsistence in such a remote and hostile environment where food is scarce. When the Inuit kills a whale, the entire community celebrates together with singing and dancing, as they share the whale meat equally; nothing goes to waste. The whale meat is a source of iron and protein, the skin is a vital source of calcium, the bones are used for housing equipment and sometimes made into chairs, the baleen is used for boot insulation, and the stomach and bladder for drums. They even share the leftovers with the polar bears, recognizing the importance of sharing their culture with nature. The Inuit’s connection to the environment is essential to their survival as, like their ancestors, survival is inextricably linked to the yearly migration of whales. This important connection has been passed down by education, to ensure that the younger generations are made aware of the importance of wildlife and of hunting sustainably. Hunting a whale is more than just killing an animal for food; it is part of a historic tradition, forming the basis of their community. Modern day commercial whalers have no such connection
or respect for the wildlife they hunt, as they kill for profit and consumer “needs”, polluting the seas whilst they harpoon their prey. The Inuit are being punished and condemned by anti-whaling activists for continuing their culture, despite the fact they have had to considerably limit the amount of whales they hunt due to new regulations enforced by the Alaska Eskimo Whaling Commission (AEWC). Is killing three whales per season to ensure the survival of isolated communities comparable to the Japanese who aim to kill around 900 whales per year for the sake of “scientific research”, a ploy used in order to continue commercially hunting whales to satisfy public demand? Without hunting whales, the Inuit are unable to survive and maintain the ancient traditions of their ancestors. Therefore, it is important to understand the traditions of cultures in isolated communities when considering making global regulations on wildlife use.
Image courtesy of Erikogan
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Into the Wild: Gap Year Dreams and Wannabe Travellers Aspiring traveller Emily Bexford looks ahead to a year on the road upon finishing her degree.
Delving into adventure, spontaneity and uninterrupted freedom to roam, the gap year dream is life in its prime. An escape from the daily stresses of past and future, and a chance to exist blissfully in the beautiful, untouched present. It’s a free year that may not come around again and undeniably, the opportunity of a lifetime. For fans of the epic ‘Into the Wild’, we can all agree that there was a sudden inspiring urge to journey into the unknown with all the courage and spirit that Emile Hirsch adopted in his daring escapades. It would perhaps be a little extreme to burn all our money in search of an unfound philosophy of life, but if we are fortunate to meet some kind hearted, free-loving hippies along the road, perhaps it’s worth the plunge. I, regrettably, have yet to experience the travelling life, but enthusiastically embrace the ‘wannabe traveller’ dreams. There is always the dilemma of whether to take a year out before University or to see out another three years of learning (because boy, we love to learn), and reward ourselves with a free year after graduation. Indeed, us wannabe travellers are envious of the gap year kids with their amazing stories of life on the road. The wait for our time looms ever closer; close to freedom, adventure and the first real respite since we enrolled in the world of school, exams and essays galore. We owe it to ourselves and to the world beyond our everyday living – it’s
all out there along with countless places and people we would never see or meet otherwise. Who knows, we might be lucky enough to stumble upon a secret island that can only be described as earth’s own version of heaven. A hidden haven not dissimilar to the beauty of Leonardo Dicaprio’s discovery in ‘The Beach’ awaits us. The world is vast; I can confidently say that most people are aware of this fact. The question is, in all of its immensity, where does one journey to? Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One man’s paradise is another’s territorial nightmare. It really is up to the individual. Of course you do get those ‘go with the flow’ free spirits that travel their spontaneous path of adventure. Most, however, have at least one place in mind, a travelling fantasy, a desire to fulfil. So, do we go it alone? As courageous as that prospect is, I think that Emile Hirsch was right when he concluded ‘happiness is only real if shared’. There are some inspirational individuals who brave the open road with nothing more than a rucksack and their own wandering thoughts for company. They are perhaps the ultimate travellers, but I think most will agree with Emile that the adventures of a year in the unknown are enriched by the presence of a friend or two. Plus, for those like myself who fear sharks, swimming in the open seas seems much less terrifying with
Image courtesy of Nic Mcphee
a fellow swimmer; it also means you aren’t the only possible dinner in the water. It’s worth a thought. Of course this is perhaps an irrational reason for taking a friend and I am deeply sorry if I have now inflicted a fear of sharks amongst any readers. Travelling isn’t for everyone and not everyone will travel. It does however seem to be an experience to embrace and to reflect
upon fondly in our later years. There’s always that one person at an event telling memorably fascinating tales as others look on in amazement. That could be us down the line, informing a new crowd of the year we really lived life with ‘the glass half full’. So, watch ‘Into the Wild’, get inspired, plan your route and live like you have never lived before.
The 21st Century Fox Nick Barrett warns that Rupert Murdoch is far too ruthless to allow the latest round of controversies to place his vast empire in jeopardy.
On the American cable channel Fox Business, an inexplicable whooshing noise accompanies graphics resembling the opening titles of Robot Wars, as a grey middle-aged presenter introduces his boss live on air: “Chairman, thanks very much for joining us – we appreciate it sir”. “Good afternoon,” replies the Australian media baron. Both men smile and the presenter seems relaxed before saying: “The story that is really buzzing all around the country, and certainly here in New York, is that News of the World, a News Corporation newspaper in Britain used…” Suddenly the presenter is cut off: “I’m not talking about that issue at all today, sorry”. Instead of asking why and pursuing the topic (you know, the kind of thing a journalist would do) he smiles awkwardly and apologises as if he’s a minor Star Wars character, scared of being telekinetically strangled for bringing Darth Vader a cold cup of coffee. That was back in August, but since then things have gone from bad to worse for the 79-year-old Rupert Murdoch and his powerful dynasty, News Corp. Since then his flagship newspaper, News of the World, has come under investigation for phone hacking, and his flagship news channel, Fox News, has been roundly condemned for the use of violent
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rhetoric against pro-Obama politicians after one was shot though the head. The last six months have created a perfect storm of controversy that just might rule out the biggest takeover in News Corp’s history – its bid to take total ownership of BSkyB. If so then we might be about to witness the decline of the biggest media empire the world has ever seen. Murdoch made his name by acquiring failing newspapers and turning them around by improving efficiency and sensationalising headlines. He has always judged himself to be somewhat of a populist revolutionary fighting against elitism. However his competitive streak began to creep into politics when he realised that if his newspapers backed a candidate then, once in power, that candidate would make it easier Murdoch’s empire to grow. The Sun and the News of the World’s support of Margaret Thatcher won Murdoch the privilege of being able to buy up The Times & The Sunday Times without the blessings of the Monopolies Commission. Eleven years later Labour battled the 1992 general election with a policy of introducing a ‘cross-media’ law, which would force Murdoch to break up his empire. On the day of the election The Sun famously ran the headline “If Kinnock wins today will the last person in Britain please
turn off the light”. The next day the same tabloid famously followed up with “It’s The Sun wot won it”.
“It’s clear that Murdoch’s endorsements are born out of convenience, not ideology and there’s certainly no room for loyalty.” Tony Blair’s reward for dropping the ‘cross-media’ policy earned him ringing endorsements, running up to the 1997 Labour landslide, from the same newspapers that had bragged about sinking his party five years earlier. At this point Rupert Murdoch was feared by the political class, but since then things have been changed. Circulation of all his British newspapers are steadily dropping, and since the explosion of the Internet print media has been slowly fading into the background. As a medium, print is largely lost on younger people, more of them preferring look at the trending list on Twitter then look at the front page of The Sun. Despite this Labour found itself sweating
back in September 2009 when the Sun switched gears once more and declared that the party had “lost it” and that it was backing David Cameron. The Tory leader had previously appointed old friend, and News of the World phone hacking causality, Andy Coulson, as his communications director. Cameron and Coulson, along with his chancellor George Osborne, make up what has been called the ‘Chipping Norton set’, and are joined by News Corp executive Rebekah Brooks and heir to the throne Rupert’s son James Murdoch. With a friendly Cameron in power Rupert would be able to snap up the rest of BSkyB without a visit to that pesky Monopolies Commission. So The Sun instantly turned aggressively on Gordon Brown, attacking everything from his hair to his handwriting. However something was going wrong, instead of maintaining his popularity David Cameron’s poll numbers were dropping and come May it was looking like the closest election in living memory. Come the big day The Sun’s front page ran David Cameron photoshopped into Barack Obama’s famous blue & red poster, under the word “change”. Perhaps the British public felt that the branding of a party called the Conservatives, with the paradoxical “change”, was patronising, or perhaps The Sun just
FEATURES couldn’t win them like they could in 1992; none of their efforts stopped Cameron from crawling over the finish line with a hung parliament. Not only that but Coulson was soon forced out after his job of communicating with the media on behalf of Number 10, after he began to predominantly get asked questions about his own knowledge of phone hacking at his old office. That scandal continues to be a thorn in Murdoch’s side, and despite numerous meetings with the new Prime Minister in Downing Street, it has thrown his BSkyB deal into serious doubt.
Allowing Murdoch free reign would undermine and besmirch the coalition, but history tells him that disregarding the media baron is still a dangerous and risky endeavour. Stateside the News Corp machine is also failing to deliver. After Rupert Murdoch made his name as an entrepreneur of print in both Australia and the UK he was able to enter the US market with more then enough respect needed to borrow the money to fund new operations in the new world. He started with the failing New York Post, with his classic and clinical style of enhanced efficiency and surefire sensationalism. He had worked his magic all over the world and the obvious next step was the moving image. In 1986 he bought 20th Century Fox. At the time it was illegal for a non-American to buy a television channel, so Murdoch simply switched nationality. The network struck gold with instant hits like The Simpsons, and it was at this point that Rupert befriended another overweight balding buffoon. This one was called Roger Ailes; he had been Richard Nixon’s press advisor and done a less then excellent job of making sure that the American public didn’t think of Nixon as a crook. In spite of his failings Murdoch and Ailes clicked as perfectly likeminded businessmen. Alies had what he called, the “orchestra pit theory”: “If you have two guys on a stage and one guy says he has a solution to the Middle East problem, and the other guy falls in the orchestra pit, who do you thinks going to be on the evening news”. This outlook completely corresponded with Murdoch’s sensationalism based success, he fell in love and Fox News was conceived. Fox News fast became the most popular 24-hour cable news channel in America – between its attractive blond female presenters and sexy graphics it pulled in millions. All it needed was a man to fall in the orchestra pit. That man was Glenn Beck. A Mormon by faith and right-wing patriot by ideal, Beck has spent every week of the Obama administration drawing spurious lines between famous names on chalkboards in an ill thought out attempts to undermine the President he calls “a racist”.
Glenn is aggressively opposed to the current government’s attempt at health care reform and in response he, along with Sarah Palin, started organising anti-big government Tea Party protests from his show on Fox News. At his peak this time last year Glenn Beck was getting well over 3 million viewers a day. He kept his show interesting with apocalyptic predictions about Obama’s health care bill turning America into a godless socialist society. But as his rhetoric spiralled away from reality he started losing advertisers, and when Obama signed the health care bill and East Manhattan didn’t turn into East Berlin, his viewers started to disappear too. Glenn Beck must have loved falling into that orchestra pit because he made no attempt to re-engage with his lost audience, and instead moved further
“Beck went as far as to redefine the entire political spectrum, putting Mao, Stalin and Hitler at one end with himself and the founding fathers at the other, with Obama in the middle.” and further from reality. Unfortunately when a man is encouraged to disregard facts and be as passionately sensationalist as possible it occasionally leads to consequences, especially when he says things like he did last June. Referring to progressives, he said: “They believe in communism, they believe and have called for revolution, you’re going to have to shoot them in the head but warning – they might shoot you.” A few months later a gunman, who went on to murder six innocent people, shot later progressive representative Gabrielle Giffords though the head outside a Tucson Supermarket. Nobody knows yet if Glenn Beck’s violent words helped motivate the incident, but it shed light on other Fox News contributors like Sarah Palin, who used her website to depict Gabrielle Giffords’ constituency thought the crosshairs of a sniper rifle. Founding chairman of BSkyB, and former editor of the Sunday Times, Andrew Neil, believes that Rupert Murdoch has “lost control of Fox News”. The channel serves to many as a warning to what could happen if Sky fell into the hands of News Corp. The Tea Party movement, born of the back of Glenn Beck’s jingoistic ‘9/11’ project, was undeniably important in taking senate control back to the GOP in the November midterm elections, and his propaganda outlets are still capable of rebranding a multi-faith community centre in New York as the “Ground Zero mosque”.
Correction
Image courtesy of World Economic Forum
The article “From a Distance” in the previous issue was printed without any writer being credited. That article was written by Lauren Eldon. We offer sincere apologies to readers and, of course, to Lauren for this oversight.
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REVIEWS FILM NEVER LET ME GO Text Sarah Connelly If you, like me, are unwilling to wait a matter of weeks in anticipation of Mark Romanek’s filmic adaptation of Never Let Me Go, take my advice and read the book in preparation. Generally speaking, I tend to favour in most cases the original text over the subsequent film, and try my best to read the book before I watch the film. Based on my reading of the book and the chilling trailers that promise stunning performances from leading actors Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan and Andrew Garfield, this might be a difficult one to call. Kazuo Ishiguro, who released the book in 2005, has produced a masterpiece that is worthy of all the critical attention given to it over the last six years, including it’s short listing for the Booker Prize award in 2005. The book tells the story of the lives of three young people who meet each other in an enigmatic boarding school called Hailsham. Kathy, who narrates the tale, involves the reader in the trials and tribulations of the lives of herself and close friends Tommy and Ruth as they grow up. From the onset of the novel suspicions arise that suggest there is something more
sinister hidden behind the idyllic backdrop of Hailsham. As the novel progresses the dystopian reality that awaits these young people becomes evident: they are genetic experiments; clones that have been raised to donate their organs, and then to cease life once their purpose has been fulfilled. Never Let Me Go challenges the controversial nature of genetic engineering: these young people - these ‘experiments’ - are as human as you or I, and experience the same emotions and fears as any young person does growing up. Never Let Me Go is a love story between three friends, between three lovers and between three confused and scared young people who are unsure of their destiny. Following an unverified rumour, Kathy and Tommy set out to prove their love for one another in the hope that they will be granted more time together before they begin their ‘donations’. The attempt proves impotent and the young people prepare themselves to lose one another forever. Although the ending is inevitable, it is a challenging and troubling conclusion that will remain with the reader for a long time. This is
an assertive, gratifying and disturbing novel, all at the same time, and I wait in anticipation of the release of the film, which I hope will do it justice. Just don’t forget the tissues, because I promise you will need them!
BLACK SWAN Text Thomas Mitchel Starring Natalie Portman (The Other Boleyn Girl), Vincent Cassel (Eastern Promises) and Mila Kunis (The Book of Eli) Black Swan follows the production of the ballet Swan Lake, in the hands of a prestigious ballet company in New York City. On the lookout for the perfect ballerina to play both the innocent White Swan, and the sensual Black Swan, the competition is on between the two key ballet dancers who both feel they have what it takes to step into the shoes of the Prima Ballerina. Reluctant to cast Nina (Portman) in the leading role, ballet director Thomas Leroy (Cassel) informs her she lacks the passion of the sensual Black Swan, and is not suitable for the role. Taking matters into her own hands Nina soon changes Leroy’s decision, as she is cast as both Swans shortly after. As rehearsals for the Black Swan commence, Nina soon starts to struggle with a number of psychiatric symptoms, which range from self-harm to obsessive compulsive behaviour, as well as eating disorders and visual hallucinations. As rehearsals deepen, and Nina gets into character more and more everyday, the task of becoming the Black Swan starts to take over her life. When her hallucinations and reality start to combine, the task of inter-
MOVIE MUSINGS Text Harry Woodward
I have recently watched David Cronenberg’s Naked Lunch, partly based on William Burrough’s novel of the same name. What I like about the work of these two is that they often deal with rather graphic and disgusting imagery. It is these kinds of works that are likely to arouse disgust in people that are the most relevant, and even best in their fields. The types
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picking the norm from the virtual becomes harder, jeopardising her chances of performing in the production. Determined not to give up, Nina’s dedication to play the Black Swan continues, taking over her body at a rate faster than ever before. Leading to consequences which are far from the norm, but can never be thought to be virtual either. Opening to a standing ovation at the 67th Venice International Film Festival in September 2010, and receiving favourable reviews from critics worldwide, Black Swan offers 108 minutes of wonderfully creepy, dark and gleaming scenes which are at times theatrically maddening, yet surprising and unique in every detail. Portman’s performance of Nina has not gone unnoticed, and portrays the dangers of a young woman trying to make it in society, be it alone, or with the help of temptations not always leading to the place intentions were at. As complex as Black Swan may be, the audacity of mixing symptoms of mental illness, hallucinations, and ballet into one picture, reflects the state of mind when performing. Performance gives talent the chance to be whoever they want, to bring alive a different part of their personality, and to indulge within a make-
of work that get the most attention, praise and awards are all very well, but they are presented in such conventional ways that it is no wonder that they gain such attention and critics shower their love over them. It is almost as if these kinds of films have had their golden paths laid out before them: films like The King’s Speech. I’m sure it will be a very good film but it’s just that type of film that you know is going to get showered in praise. It’s a very human story about overcoming the obstacles of life, giving you hope. It’s not the kind of film that’s going to delve into issues of the human condition. It
may be about the monarchy but it’s not going to explore the controversial issues around that, of the problems of authority and nationalism. It presents the monarchy in their little bubble, as ordinary people like you and me. As one of my friends so deservedly said, who cares? Frankly, I’m a little annoyed about constantly having these kind of films shoved down my throat by critics. It is the films that the critics hate, that got banned, that get under your skin, that hit you in the gut, that are the most daring and relevant: that are likely to upset people, shock them into awareness of the nature of
violence, and the ideologies surrounding their lives. Some, like the ‘body horrors’ of the ‘80s, used excessive handmade special effects to distort the human form into unimaginable shapes, often instigating shock and horror. But it is the audience’s disgust at seeing their own body parts amplified that highlight the makebelieve attitudes surrounding the body and sex, that they are unpleasant and sinful. So long as graphic films capable of challenging these sensitive body issues by highlighting them continue to be made, they are relevant not just to film but to people’s lives.
reviews
TV TOOL ACADEMY Text Louise Jones This January saw the beginning of E4’s reality TV show – Tool Academy. The concept of the show was immediately intriguing; the boys originally thought they were taking part in a competition to find “Britain’s Ultimate Lad”. In fact, as is later revealed to them, their less-than-pleased girlfriends have enrolled their unsatisfactory boyfriends in the Tool Academy, ‘where Tools... become men’. Every week, the couples undergo therapy sessions (themes include commitment, fidelity and maturity) and take part in challenges, all designed to make the Tools better boyfriends. At the end of the episode, one or more Tools are ‘expelled’ for making the least amount of progress. To me, this is where the difficulties lie. Randy Tool, Liam, passes the commitment lesson with flying colours, despite the camera catching him cheating
“I wouldn’t go so far as recommending that you miss a night in town just to watch it, but Tool Academy definately brightens up my mondays” on girlfriend, Toni, in episode 1. In the meantime, Twinkle Tool, Joe, is expelled, although his only problem appears to be that his girlfriend is convinced that he is gay! The show’s website claims, ‘no Tool will leave the Academy unchanged’. Unfortunately, this is hardly the case. Jake, Temper Tool, who ’went on a rampage’ and threatened to leave at least four times in the first two episodes finally cracked and went home, dragging his girlfriend with him, arguably more angry and ‘tool-like’ than before. It also has to be said that the girls, or ‘toolettes’ are just as bad. It is difficult to feel sympathetic with Becky, who does nothing but whine and shout at Poser Tool, Pete, who actually seems like a pretty decent guy. All this being said, there is something strangely addictive about the show. My personal highlights include watching the
girls drive blindfolded around an obstacle course whilst their boyfriends yelled instructions to them; and here’s the twist: The Tools were electrocuted every time the girls hit something. As well as the hilarity that ensues from the challenges, the show has created some moving moments. The Tools’ writing and reading of a eulogy, mourning the potential loss of their relationship, brought a genuine tear to my eye.
So, whilst the show’s objective of expelling the worst boyfriends may not necessarily be happening every week, it does provide some excellent comedy, in addition to making us feel better about our own seemingly problematic relationships. And once in a while, something sincere and touching comes out of it. I wouldn’t go as far as recommending you miss a night in town just to watch it, but Tool Academy definitely brightens up
SUN, SEX AND SUSPICIOUS PARENTS Text Tim Rooke Along with my birthday, an urn full of Ashes, and beckoning exams, 2011 also saw the beginning of BBC3’s new series - Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents. The format is fairly self-explanatory: young adults experiencing their first chance of independence by hitting the party destinations of Ibiza, Ayia Napa and Zante; the twist is that their parents have secretly tagged along on the journey. With the fresh-faced young people under the illusion that they are merely part of a BBC documentary about student holidays, they are none the wiser to the twist, and are co-operative with the camera and aware of the surrounding film crews. The show churns out the same “don’t be too silly” parents in every episode, who are then later shocked to watch their innocent children entering a strip club or engaging in sexually suggestive drinking games. This, from a student perspective, does beg the question, “well…what did you expect?” The one exception to this naivety was Greg’s Dad, Chris. When watching Greg pushing his best friend out of the airport in a wheelchair having urinated on himself and in the process
of vomiting, he responded “well…we’ve all been like that a few times in our life.” Really? Have we? However, cruel irony struck for Greg on the final night of the holiday; having dived into the shallow end of the hotel pool, Greg severely injured his spine, leading his Dad to take more careful considerations to such a liberal parental approach - perhaps the sole sentimental moment in the series. An irritatingly superficial theme that runs throughout the show is the concept of how proud the parents are of their daughter/son, and how much closer they become as a result of the experience. The thought that they can now trust their offspring in the big world of adulthood is a somewhat laughable conclusion to every episode. It becomes rather repetitive and a sentiment that rapidly loses its effect on the viewer, bearing in mind their descendants had broken just about every rule laid down by their parents prior to jetting off. Overall, the concept, although debatably deceitful, could actually work and a BBC3 programme containing plenty of
alcohol, nudity and partying will always attract viewers. It is let down by the parents who, by the end of the show, are fairly forgiving and become incredibly proud of their respective child, and in turn, the children, knowing they are on camera (despite their previous drunkenness) are timid and ordinary. If you are contemplating a similar holiday this summer (minus the spying parents), it is perhaps better to observe the participants’ fellow club revellers, rather than the participants themselves, to gain a true insight as to what such holidays are like.
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books WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN Lionel Shriver Text Bethany Whymark
is hard to stomach, but realising that Eva is beginning to form such Morality is a much contested issue in many a situation, but it’s a belief about her own son stirs up a peculiar sympathy for her; possible to generally agree that we’re all born with some amount such opinions are not often grounded without reason. of it. Aren’t we? Kevin himself does seem just an apathetic teenager; he’s Kevin Khatchadourian is a fifteen-year old American school often described as academically unremarkable and restrained in boy from a wealthy family who has always given an impression of his self-expression, features which contribute towards his cover extreme apathy towards his life – until he commits a massacre in of ‘normal adolescent’. Even as the reader you are able to sense his high school gym, murdering nine fellow students, a cafeteria there is something not quite right with Kevin worker and his English teacher. The novel calls into question some subversive subject “Having to accept the the odd spine-tingling moment at his comments matter: the idea of evil as inherent or acquired; fact that a child may toward his mother, or the descriptions of a seemingly emotionally barren persona. The the existence of unconditional parental love. be innately evil is narrative is interspersed with Eva’s trips to visit Written from the viewpoint of Kevin’s mother hard to stomach” her son in his penitentiary; coming face to face Eva Khatchadourian as a series of letters to her with a mass-murdering sixteen year-old is as estranged husband Franklin, the novel takes much of a difficult experience for us as it is for Eva. Abhorrent as us on a journey through Kevin’s life, from his conception to his mother and son may find each other, they share a deep, binding horrific crime, dredging up numerous events in his past which Eva secret – Kevin’s psychopathy, unrecognised by either educators, feels suggest Kevin’s ‘unavoidable’ persuasion towards evil acts. acquaintances or his own father. Shriver’s plot develops at a perfect pace. Never given too The perfect crafting of this novel enables us to sympathise much information about our notorious main character as to swing simultaneously with Kevin’s mother and father; it is a harrowing our opinion of him one way or the other, Kevin remains an enigma prospect having to accept the fact that your son may be committing until the last. We rely on sceptical Eva and her excessive puzzling malicious acts knowingly. The way that both parents tackle this over Kevin’s behaviour to form our opinions of the boy. Kevin’s fact (Eva with unwavering belief, Franklin with blind ignorance) father offers another voice and acts as a personification of the is portrayed faultlessly in this rich tapestry of narrative. All at once normative moral code; his unwavering belief in Kevin’s innocence a thriller, a moral tale and a loyalty-splitting read. is endearing and causes you to question the accusations Eva is making. Having to accept the fact that a child may be innately evil
HEART OF DARKNESS Joseph Conrad Text Graham Barclay Conrad’s dichotomous novel is truly a prolific piece of literature. Set in the ‘Golden Age’ of European imperialism, Heart of Darkness draws you into the very core of humanity; shedding light on its moral ineptitude and casting darkness over its subsequent behavioural turpitude. Conrad powerfully adopts a narrator who addresses himself as “I”, suggesting he is exempt from the horrific brutalities and sordid realities arbitrated by almost every other character introduced. This allows the reader to objectively assess the evident barbarism of the human race through the eyes of a neutral observer; poignantly exposing the animalistic nature of mankind, showcased through the ‘savagery’ of the animal world in the veiled microcosm of the zoo. Conrad beautifully criticises humanity on a comparatively gargantuan scale through the Belgian Congo; King Leopold II’s sex-slave. Belgium’s inhuman treatment of the Congolese people, who were deemed “savages”, and its relentless abuse of the environment whereby the elephant population was severely reduced in the pursuit of their ivory “To make money, of course”, turned a land of fertility and tranquillity into one of fatality and chaos. Conrad paints a bleak, yet accurate picture of man’s inherent, indeed systematic ability to destroy not only its surroundings, but also itself, and depicts the gloomy convulsion within us all to be as corrosive as we are creative. The extent to
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which we are a force of unquestionable destruction is epitomised by “the still treetops of the grove of death”, which stand as silent witnesses to scenes of human depravity at its most cataclysmic. Yet, although this novel is vexed with layers of negativity, it is impossible for one to evade its buried core of enlightenment. Parallel to Conrad’s sustained use of the obvious pathetic fallacy that the wildness and unpredictability of the Belgian Congo mirrors the untamed volatility of human nature, his protagonist Marlowe, journeys down the River Congo until he is placed face to face with the Mr. Hyde that resides within us all. In the same way, the reader is taken on a voyage of discovery down the flowing labyrinths of the soul until he or she is confronted with its pulsating source: the human heart in all its false glory. Do not be put off by this book’s deep authorial intent or its depressing exterior, as its allegory preaches optimism. Conrad simultaneously paints us a vivid picture of mankind’s potential to be utterly void of any moral compass in writing this novel, whilst leaving us with an entirely blank canvas in finishing it, as we the readers are left poised for an anagnorisis of our own from which we are inspired to paint a new picture of humanity; a masterpiece emblematic of our potential to be human and not inhuman, harmonious instead of hazardous. Sometimes we are forced to wonder through darkness until we see the light...
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GAMES
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Retro: Timesplitters 2 Various Text Richard Warne I’m not a fan of FPS’s and why I don’t like them could fill a whole magazine, but now and again innovation comes along in a over subscribed genre. You will have seen the work of the Free Radical team if you ever owned played Goldeneye or Perfect Dark on the Nintendo 64. At this time they were still a part of Rare, but in 1999 they split from Rare to form Free Radical and in 2000 they released Timesplitters for the PS2. Fast paced and laced all the way through with a sense of tongue in cheek game play, Timesplitters was a joy to play and gained more than stellar reviews. The storyline was weak at best but still extremely playable, but its multiplayer is where this game shines. 2002 saw Timesplitters 2 explode onto Gamecube and Xbox as well as Playstation 2. This wide audience goes insane, the storyline still is weak but at the time there was nothing better then getting 3 friends into a room and playing hours of Timesplitters 2 multiplayer. Why was it so good? Because you could set yourself up against up to twenty bots, there is nothing more chaotic or fun than four players verses 20 bots of the top skill level (especially if you make it rockets only.)
Then 2005 and Timesplitters: Future Perfect hits the shelves. The art style is dramatically and vastly improved, but weirdly until now the graphics of the series had never been an issue, but now you can see what those extra pixels can really accomplish. Free Radical tried something different with Future Perfect, and that was to add a storyline, as a company they were coming off the critically acclaimed but often over looked Second Sight (a game that if you can find you should not hesitate to play) this had been praised in a big way for its innovative narrative. Future Perfect deals with time-travel in a way you would expect from a group of developers who grew up on Dr. Who repeats, but most of all its so tongue in cheek its practically licking the face of the person next to it on the bus. What happens next? Free Radical start to develop Timesplitters 4 they are also working on a PS3 release called Haze. It seems we might still see Timesplitters 4 but maybe not as soon as we would hope, and now “its time to split” (10 points to anyone that calls the reference) (20 points if you called I’d end the article that way).
DEADSPACE 2 Xbox 360/PS3/PC Text Alex Raffle In the sequel to 2008’s Deadspace we return to Isaac Clarke three years after the events on board of the Ishamura. And he’s gone a bit mental. Things begin in a hospital on Saturn’s moon, Titan, and rather than helping, shady doctors have been abusing patients to gain information about the markers (long story, look it up) because doing the right thing is square, daddio! Ahem, excuse me. Anyway another necromorph outbreak occurs and Isaac has to save himself all over again. Several new enemy types have been added to the roster, the design of which are horrific, this is obviously a plus in survival horror, but the designers are so eager to show off their hard work that the monsters are everywhere; literally falling out of the walls. It’s something I’ve been having an issue with; the game can’t seem to decide between setting up an immersive, eerie atmosphere or making you jump with flimsy scares every ten minutes which completely distracts from play. Yet the atmosphere of Deadspace 2 is strong and enveloping and despite its interruptions had me generally unsettled. The opening gameplay has your running for your life to escape the hospital whilst stuck in a straitjacket, one of the most exciting openings I’ve played in a while. The game stands as strong as it did previously, but the
STU’S GAMING CORNER In 2005, a small and relatively unheard of games company by the name of Harmonix Music Systems released a music-based video game that could only be played on the supplied peripheral; a small plastic guitar. Not six years later and we’re on our sixth incarnation of the Guitar Hero series with multiple spin-offs and band-specific versions clogging up the shelves.
mechanics have been touched up, such as the Zero G areas which feel much smoother and are utilised better, plus so far it seems to me that there are more reasons to replay, with some content only occurring during the second or later plays through. Also, during gameplay we are often treated to brief glimpses into Issac’s insanity with the first game’s marker bothering him with images of his former girlfriend and smug speeches, I imagine this was supposed to be sinister yet comes across like an over eager panto villain. A new addition that comes with Deadspace 2 is the online multi-player, where players are pitted against each other as Humans and Necromorphs in small team games, which are relatively basic in style and gameplay but require actual teamwork to win, and strangely players actually seem to be working together. Overall Deadspace 2 is a great sequel to an already good franchise; kicking things up a notch in the necessary aspects. On XBox it comes on two bloody discs yet strangely it doesn’t feel any longer that its predecessor. This gory third person horror is a welcome start to the gaming year, but honestly it’s about time something else actually got released.
I myself love the Guitar Hero franchise, I own almost all of them since no. 3 and they have only gotten better with time, however Guitar Hero is not the only brand taking the game scene down a musical route. Rock Band was released in 2007 by Harmonix, the same company that released the first Guitar Hero after a small scuffle with publisher Activivsion. The concept was pretty much the same, only this time you could buy a “Band in a box” which gave the player the opportunity to play the game with up to three mates, playing an array of instruments ranging from guitar to drums; the thing even came with a microphone so players could wail along to their favourite
tunes. Activison hit back after this with Guitar Hero: World Tour which coincidently was released not a week after Rock Band with better guitars, drums, and again another microphone. Personally this is where the Guitar Hero franchise started taking leaps and bounds away from Rock Band, surpassing them in game play and in the quality of the peripherals. Rock Band hit back with another two games but for some reason, no-one really knew, there were a few who thought they would be worth buying, especially the third one: the damn thing even came with a fully-functioning keyboard. There was one thing that puzzled me about Rock Band 3 though, and that was the ‘pro’ versions of the
guitar controllers, the ‘pro’ models have enough buttons to replicate a real guitar, essentially teaching you to play guitar through playing a game. This puzzles me, as the game with one of these pro guitars is around £160 new. Now I’m not going to claim to be an amazing guitarist but even my reasonably good Epiphone SG was only £160. No, of course, this begs a question why buy a silly game peripheral when you can buy a real guitar; hell if you get a cheap one you could even get an amp thrown in, then you can sit on the street wailing as loud as you can, maybe even making some cash as well.
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reviews@flexnews.co.uk
MUSIC 21 Adele
Text Rebecca Hadfield Following on from her 2008 album 19, Adele’s new release has spent three weeks at the number one spot and has already been certified two-times platinum due to over 600,000 units being sold. A success? I think so. Adele described her album in a press release as “different from 19 - it’s about the same things but in a different light. I deal with things differently now. I’m more patient, more honest, more forgiving and more aware of my own flaws, habits and principles, something that comes with age I think. Fittingly this record is called 21....” (BBC Newsbeat). I would agree with her. The album feels more mature than 19; she tackles love with sensitivity and emotion, and her lyrics portray her growth as both an artist and an individual. Fuelled by love, she takes the listener on a journey which explores the inner reaches of relationships. Vocally, Adele is able to make your heart race as well as relax. The complex creation of feeling is simply stunning. The first track, Rolling In The Deep, sets the album up amazingly. Adele’s voice lifts each note beautifully, each word gathering meaning whilst the backing music runs alongside creating a track both inspirational and upbeat. The pianist Neil Cowley is an exceptional addition to this
album. During the tracks Rolling In The Deep, Turning Tables and Take It All, you find yourself lost as both Neil’s and Adele’s talents are entwined. Turning Tables is also the first song on the album that consists of a mellow beauty which sets the listener up for further tracks Set Fire To The Rain and Someone Like You. These three tracks are by far the best of the album. The power and conviction of Adele’s voice is luminous, and it melts your heart as you feel and hear the sense of love lost. The juxtaposition of the power and the sadness of the lyrics stir a sense of true independence. You feel stronger as a person as Adele lifts you into dimensions you didn’t know existed. This is not only an album with an astounding voice and beautiful backing music; it’s an album that forces you to feel. You cannot listen to Lovesong or Someone Like You without relating it to your own life or simply becoming a part of the song. You cannot help but share the pain and love Adele sings of. To say you finish the album feeling overwhelmed, emotional, and enlightened would be an understatement. Words cannot describe the true extent to which you become enraptured by this album; you must simply experience it yourself.
DISC OVERY Tinie Tempah Text Chris Townsend Tinie Tempah has just won a Brit award, and it’s not difficult to see why; today’s discerning music fan prefers to buy songs about “getting so out of it that you pass out” (Tinie Tempah, 2011), or hear about how a man hasn’t been to Scunthorpe, but has been to Southampton. Today’s listener likes to pump inanity into one ear, and feel culture fall out of the other. Today’s listener likes Tinie Tempah. Tinie Tempah is a grime rapper, which for him is like being a regular rapper only you end each line with the same word instead of writing full rhymes (Tinie won his Brit award for the single Pass Out - it’s designed to keep the upper-middle-class out, the ideal listener will wear a hoody and have his arse out). The production on the track comes from Tinie’s chum Labrinth, a man whose name suggests a level of classical technicality and Daedalian sophistication that is largely absent from his output. The beats range from Space Invaders-style bleeps and bloops, to a sample of a man saying “whoop-whoop”, and to nobody’s favourite feature of popular music, synthesised vocals; listening to Tinie is like listening to audio commentary over a NES game, or being threatened by a robot who insists he’s famous. The lyrics are also genuinely dreadful. At one point, Tinie
music to my ears Text Dani Birtles Music is always in a constant state of change. Like a liquid it is always flowing, changing course, and eroding the past with bigger and better releases. With that in mind, it’s hardly surprising that ordinary people are emerging in the popular culture music scene with the use of samples, beat-boxing, and creative or glorified DJ-ing to try and up the ante in the form of a new and exciting sound.
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rhymes “known” with “know”, and repeats the word “very” four times to make the line the right length. And that’s when he’s not telling you that he has so many clothes that he has to keep some at his aunt’s house. Rap was popularised as a form of political and social commentary, and offered authentic and impassioned views in a hyperbolic style (I’m thinking of Public Enemy). It’s hard to listen to Tinie Tempah without picturing him standing in a recording studio, speaking half-rhymes into a microphone, and counting a big stack of money that he’s going to spend on trousers that are too big for him. Even his name implies a failure to fully emote: ‘I’m angry, but only a little bit!’. Just enough to market music, eh Tinie? But that’s not to say all grime music is bad; Tinie is similar, in fact, to the likes of JME and Skeptah, only without the smart production, humorous lyricism, references to culture beyond nightclubs, or general talent and charisma that mark them out as artists worth spending money on. His debut album,Disc Overy, a title that implies a misshapen and misspelt ovum-producing female organ, is an album packed with insipid songs with superficial lyrics, and nothing else. Tinie Tempah is a tool, and culture has died.
But does this mean that music is no longer the creative flow of raw talent? Is the ability to play an instrument to give a feeling of euphoria lost? In the public’s eye, it can be safely said that this is not the case! With individuals like Beardyman releasing awe-inspiring sample-using music and even creating albums due to popular demand and his ever expanding YouTube fans, it’s hard to ignore the sudden change that music seems to be taking. But going back to the talent aspect, surely you have to have some talent when it comes to writing a piece of music, even if it’s not a piece of classical music?
Sometimes, this is not the case, you just need to know a good rhythm; however, it seems that Beardyman has one of the greatest talents of all. To be spontaneous, and to improvise, and make it all sound rehearsed. With the release of Beardyman’s new album looming ahead in the distance, you cannot doubt that this man seems to be some kind of technological genius with his live looping techniques, humorous stage name, and everchanging and somewhat unbelievable use of just his vocal chords! How someone can produce as many as five different sounds through just vocal work alone is beyond me. Though saying this, the use of the term
“glorified DJ” can lead us to Jaguar Skills, who, by some people’s standards doesn’t have any raw natural talent without having to first use samples from previous work. Unless people like this can produce their own work without the help of sampling, then perhaps that is all they have to offer the music scene. Have no fear though, there are plenty of artists out there that can keep the music scene alive. However, Beardyman’s up and coming release is set to be on our shelves 21st March, and comes highly recommended, so be sure to pick that up if you want something crazy and original to brighten your sound system!
AdvERt
March Friday 4th– Meal & Music Night featuring ‘John Gallagher’ Free entry, any 2 courses £15, food 7-9pm
Saturday 5th– Peapod Sessions featuring ‘Josie & The Lovecats’ Tickets £2 (£1 students), doors open 8pm
Wednesday 9th - Andrew Bate Tickets £2, doors open 8pm
Friday 11th - Meal & Local Music Night Free entry, any 2 courses £15, food 7-9pm Saturday 12th - Exelby Tickets £3, doors open 8pm
Sunday 13th - Student Music Night Free Entry, doors open 8pm Friday 18th- Claudia Caolin Tickets £8, doors open 8pm
Saturday 19th - lono Presents ‘Arbouretum Tickets £8, doors open 8pm Satrday 20th - Queen’s of Pressure Tickets £TBC, doors open 8pm
Friday 25th - Meal & Music Night featuring ‘Simon Drinkwater’ Free entry, 2 courses £15, food 7-9pm Saturday 26th - Twilight Hotel Tickets £7.50, doors open 8pm
For further details go to - www.misspeapod.co.uk
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Nominations open until 12 noon Thu 3 Mar www.fxu.org.uk/elections
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President Welfare, President UCF and President UECC FXU Elections 2011 Do you want to be a Students’ Union President 2011-12? Nominate yourself and be a candidate for FXU President Welfare, FXU President UCF or FXU President UECC. Full-time, paid positions. Representing and campaigning for students. Take a year out of your studies or after you finish your studies. Make sure the students’ union is student-led; help students settle in and with any problems that arise throughout their studies; represent students at top university meetings; organise parties, events and activities for students to join in, make friends and have fun; be a friendly face on campus for students; helping in the community; ultimately, improve things for students to be the experience students want: there’s never a dull moment being an FXU President! It also allows you to gain varied experience and develop vital skills for future jobs. Deadline for nominations: 12 noon Thursday 3 March 2011.
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Nomination Packs, Job Descriptions and other information on the FXU elections are available on www.fxu.org.uk/elections and FXU Offices at both Woodlane and Tremough. Last year, FXU had the most contested elections in FXU history, which made an exciting and competitive elections allowing students more choice for voting. Let’s make this year even better. For more information or to pick up a nomination pack pop into the FXU or contact Janice Michelson at: Janice.michelson@falmouth.ac.uk 18
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www.fxu.org.uk/elections
rty! Results Pa 17 Mar 5pm Thu nnary, ta Upper S h Tremoug
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Fair trade @ Woodlane and Tremough Campus 28th Feb - 11th March
Join us for Fairtrade Fortnight at Tremough and Woodlane campus. You will find a special Fairtrade section in Tremough Shop throughout the fortnight and on Thursday 3rd of March during lunch there will be a Fairtrade meal in Tremough canteen with stands offering Fairtrade snack tasting. Contact Tim Port in the FXU on 01326 253628 or email timothy.port@falmouth.ac.uk for more information.
Fairtrade Falmouth 28th Feb - 13th March
To celebrate Falmouth’s 6th year as a Fairtrade Town the Fairtrade Falmouth team have produced a programme of lively activities around Falmouth to highlight the importance of fair trading globally and locally. The team will be providing tasters of Fairtrade Coffee, Tea, Wine, Chocolate and Biscuits from several diverse locations including The Farmers Market on 1st March and Phoenix Cinema on12th March. The annual Coffee mornings at Methodist Church and All Saints Church and Tea Dance at St Mary’s Hall will provide opportunities for discussion and inspiration. The Fairtrade Falmouth Recipe book is available with recipes from The Fairtrade Foundation and local Chef Sanjay Kumar. Sanjay has added a new recipe this year for ‘Fairtrade Chocolate and Orange Rice Pudding’ and it can be downloaded from www.falmouthalive.org.uk , the recipe card will be available at the Fairtrade events. Other active organisations and partners include St Mary’s School, Falmouth Marine College and University College Falmouth and more details about their and all Fairtrade Falmouth celebrations will be publicised next week. The Fairtrade Banner will be hanging in the Falmouth Council Foyer from this week – made from the hand shapes of several hundred local residents. FTF team member Rachel Lay reminds us “that it shows us together we can make a real difference to the quality of life both here and abroad”. For more information or to join in contact Lorely Lloyd: 01326 317587. 19
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ARt&dESIGn
Simon J david Photography by Simon J. David, Press and Editorial Photography, 2nd Year. In 1939 Hitler and his Nazi army invaded Poland causing the Second World War to erupt. Consequently war structures were built again. After the Battle of Britain, 1942 to 1944, the north coast of mainland Europe would never look the same again. Costal fortifications were constructed by Nazi Germany for fear of the Alley invasion. The Atlanikwall or in other words the Atlantic Wall spread from Norway all the way to the borders with Spain with a bunker or gun in-placement or look out every three to five miles. On the 30th of June 1940 a small section of British soil was invaded. The Channel Islands would become the most fortified islands in the world. As part of the Atlantic Wall, the occupying German forces and the Organisation Todt used Soviet soldiers as slave labor from the Lager Sylt concentration camp in Alderney to construct most of the fortifications. More than 700 people died. Letter from Himler to Maximilian List the commander of the camp: From Der Reichsf端hrer Diary No. 1722/43 Field Commando Secret Communication
Photography Editor Racheal Stanley
Dear List, You have been placed as leader of Baubrigade 1 on the Island of Alderney. Do everything to train your men. If things get serious, be clear that you and your men have to be shining examples in your attitude and would absolutely never capitulate. In your defence sector you have to deal with even the smallest events and do make sure with countless exercises that every man knows the terrain throughly by day and night. Keep strict discipline in training your men. Should there be an attack and the prisoners show the slightest inclination to make trouble; you have to shoot the guilty. Should there still be unrest, you have to shoot all the prisoners without a moments hesitation. Heil Hitler H. Himmler. Today the fortifications lie in ruins but are still as visible as they were during WWII. They stand as reminders to every generation of the cost of war.
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arts@flexnews.co.uk
Creative Writing The Meeting The approbation of my application. Signed and sealed, obviously, by a secretary, an emissary. Untouched and unscanned by the eyes and hands of the man in high demand, the one, the legendary. I was due the honour of his company. I exchanged money for cheap day travel with red, trembling fingers on Christmas eve. I naively believed it was a reasonable time to meet and not at all strange. Cross country, in solitude. I changed on the train. I wetted my comb and scraped. Ponytailed and raw. My small breasts suppressed in airless vests in lapel and collar origami. This is how nuns should dress. The city buffeted me towards the lonely bright doorway of a back street scout hall. I sat in the cold foyer. The sky grew dark. I was asked to wait by a copper haired clerk. I fidgeted and tried not to look neglected. This was not what I expected. Only one interviewee waited before me and I swear he wasn’t a day over eighteen. Delicate and unprotected in the lightest shirt I’ve ever seen. The static from my stockings on the plastic seat prickled and they wrinkled where my legs were too thin. The boy was called in.
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Creative Writing Editor Jemma Green
Aunt Lizzy The light outside died as my entrails writhed and my nails grew sore. The red headed woman at the door nodded and saw me inside. Only when I was seated did it occur to me: I didn’t see the teenaged boy before me leave. The man at the desk was old older than is possible, I think and neat and shining with a sweetness akin to frightening grace. I couldn’t look at his face. He should have looked out of place in this worn-out hall, the walls shedding sugar paper and pins. “I was impressed with the letter you sent. So well presented.” He spoke like he meant it. I untensed a little bit and tried to focus on my mission. He said “Why are you meant for this position?” I reversed my eye’s aversion “I really love your work,” I blurted “I mean, sir, I’m converted and dedicated to your cause.” A pause. He looked at me in sympathy. He leaned forward in gentle conspiracy “I don’t think you believe that, young lady.” I couldn’t reply. I tried. He damned me in the kindest voice. “There’ll be no need to re-apply.” It was done. I stepped, stunned, into the winter air. I was faintly aware Of the sound of a choir in the far off square. I was alone with no way of getting home and no way of getting better but he congratulated me on a well presented letter. He congratulated me on a well presented letter.
Aunt Lizzy. A big lady in all black and a witch’s hat. Netta cleared your house out when you died. Kept all of your Victoriana just in case I happened to be born a decade later. Catalogues. You don’t airbrush drawings. Eighteen ninety and nineteen twenty three. The fashionable lady. Nigger brown. Dapper. Flapper. Marcel Waves. Aunt Lizzy, your grave is mothballed, decoupaged, dignified, maiden named and next to your parents. I inherited so much more from you than catalogues. Those stale, gathered petticoats. Outdated, Aunt Lizzy, Even for your time. Netta said you wore a corset all your life. Unlaced, up-straight, re-aligned, for fear of undoing your delicate spine. Archaic, Aunt Lizzy. Even for your time. Catalogues. The long umbrella. Curlers. Garters. Greta Garbo. Pheasant feathers. Russian leather. I kept them all, filled out yellow order forms for dresses and gloves out of stock by a long shot. Poetry by Jennifer Roberts http://hookshaped.blogspot.com/ Illustrations by Ilaria Benedetti http://www.benila.com/ Creative Writing Editor Jemma Green
ART&DESIGN
HEATH HEARN Arts Editor John Paul Somerville Heath Hearn is a practicing artist working in Cornwall. His studio is at Maker Heights, the highest point of the Rame Peninsula. Following the coastline, Rame is the last significant landmass before reaching Devon. I went to visit Heath here to discuss his experiences as a contemporary abstract painter over the last twenty years. Rain clouds distort the panoramic views across the Tamar to Plymouth, and beyond, to Dartmoor. I’m rubbing my hands together in a gesture to the cold when Heath greets me, his un-phased appearance tells me this is one of the better days winter has offered the 18th Century Barracks and I decide not to comment. My hands feel colder inside the studio; I look hopefully at the cluster of fan heaters (and what looks like a flamethrower) behind Heath’s chair. Then my gaze wanders up, and up, to the twenty feet high ceiling, which is the only thing they’re heating. A steaming coffee saves the day and the interview is on the way. I know already that Heath is largely self taught and has needed to be resourceful when it comes to gaining recognition for his work, and food for his stomach (although coffee and rollies seem to be the staple diet in the studio). I’m keen to hear some of these stories and begin by asking about his early career, ‘It was trying to get through the backdoor most of the time, and for a long time I didn’t go through galleries, I avoided galleries because I was under the impression that I had to have been to college and I had to have all this experience showing with galleries, before I could get into the top galleries’. Heath’s only formal education in art was a spell at Australia’s Perth College in the mid 80’s. Never having had the crutch of the institution has clearly forged strong instincts of self preservation
and independence, ‘At college you’re told how to make art, how to do the whole process but you’re not really shown how to make a living because that involves experience. It’s about actually having experience, the trial and error and making mistakes’. Heath talks about the need to have a bit of ‘business savvy’ in the art world. Not in every aspect, but certainly painting, ‘The unfortunate thing is that painters, artists almost by default, the fact that they are who they are, are not business minded, and that’s where you have the dilemma’. If ‘savvy’ doesn’t come naturally to Heath he has certainly worked hard to acquire it. He tells of approaching councils with community art proposals when work was dry, bartering a mural for a studio space, trading work for dental treatment and, most recently, having all of his Georgian windows in the studio where we sit restored in exchange for a painting. Commercial success or money, however, have never been high on Heath’s agenda, ‘all these things I did, I did so I could maintain and continue painting, rather than go out and get a nine to five. I’m getting to a point now where I’m just about scraping a living after 20 years’ It’s impossible to spend time in Heath’s company and not be stirred by his oak like commitment to art and devotion to his discipline of painting. He is the type of character I expect to come across in abundance in the art world, but do not. I ask him about showing in galleries, and the details involved, ‘a lot of artists I talk to who are just starting up say, ‘well I can only paint at the weekend because I have a nine to five, do you think such and such a gallery will be interested in my work?’ and from my perspective I think that even if its good enough to
get into a gallery, they want to see that you’re full time, that you are dedicated to what you are doing. A lot of them will actually ask if you’re doing it full time anyway. I always say to them well look if you don’t believe in your own work to the point where you’ll abandon everything just to do the work. If you don’t have the belief in your work, then how do you expect a gallery to believe in your work, and to promote your work? You need complete faith that what you’re doing is the right thing and not to deviate. I think its also a bit of an illness, you get the artists who are very obsessive, they wont compromise by going out and getting another job’.
A Jersey Tale.
Heath shares a trick to get you noticed in a new environment. Heath first arrived in Jersey twelve years ago. Although an established painter in Devon and Cornwall he was unheard of in the Channel Islands. A plan was required. The first step was to acquire a decent studio at a low rate, or perhaps even for free. After two months of networking Heath managed to negotiate an empty warehouse for one year in exchange for a Trompe-l’oeil (mural) in the owner’s private house. Step two was to produce a body of work substantial enough to justify a solo exhibition at the Jersey Art Centre. He produced the work, secured the show at the Art Centre and even gained sponsorship from a local architects firm – but he still had the problem of being unknown. This meant no
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arts@flexnews.co.uk
Jim Makepeace Boswell Jim Makepeace Boswell is one of Falmouth’s talented illustrators. Specialising in drawing figures, Jim’s sensitivity to detail, light touch with a pencil striking use of abstract colour is what makes his work stand out for me. I asked him a few questions. Hi Jim! Tell us a little about yourself:
Hi!, my name is James Makepeace Boswell, although everyone I know calls me Jim, unless I’ve done something wrong. I like cats, coffee and books, and I study Illustration at Falmouth! What is your working process- do you draw from life, photographs, collage...?
I’m a drawer/painter at heart, although recently I’ve been using any media I can get my grubby paws on to mess around with, I’m really interested in printing techniques, but I can’t really see myself working as a printer. Oftentimes I find that the media I’m trying to use won’t fit with the theme of the brief, and I find it quite satisfying to find alternate ways of bending to the task, I guess this is quite a common thing to most illustrators and illustration students though? Your latest project is about the space race, was this a brief? what inspired you to base a project around it?
Yeah, we got set a very open brief, and were required to create a series of illustrations that would be able to be classed as information illustration, and being of a geeky persuasion, I decided to look at the soviet side of the space race, which is an amazing story, surprisingly good if you want to draw beards actually, lots of rocket scientists had good beards. I really enjoyed the research aspect of the project, as I ended up illustrating the more human elements of the space race, the people and culture that inspired it, rather drawing countless rockets, which although fun (in a self-indulgent sort of a way) would be pretty dry to look at…
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“I like cats, coffee and books, and I study Illustration at Falmouth!”
ART&DESIGN
“There are loads of things I’ve learned about pasties”
If you could only draw one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
Probably people, I love drawing figures and characters, but I’m not really sure why, I like people I suppose, If I couldn’t draw that then maybe I would draw birds, or maybe rooftops. I really love drawing rooftops for some reason, maybe it’s just a landscape we don’t think about very often? Other than being a world famous illustrator, what would be your dream career?
I would love to be an explorer, I get a bit depressed by things like google earth, even though I sometimes spend hours on it. To me it seems to shrink the world small enough to fit on a laptop screen, and although I would like to be the first person ever to see a place, that idea really excites me, although it’s a little unfeasible now… This might be the reason I like rooftops so much, all that space!
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LIFESTYLE
arts@flexnews.co.uk
Text Samantha Howard
The art of Cornwall is often lost in the background. As students, we are surrounded by some of the most beautiful views in the country, taking for granted that we have the chance to study something we are all passionate about in this beautiful area. Some of the most talented artists and designers are based in the south west, St.Ives, being a well-known hot spot. There are many places less than an hour away from Falmouth, leaving no excuse not to venture out to explore new branches of art and design. Many exhibitions are run by charities, meaning they are free of charge. However, many do charge, which might not be something you would usually choose to spend your student loan on, although many exhibitions have a student rate, or you could get a group together and that might be even cheaper! Inspiration is often taken from other people, and this is the perfect opportunity to see what else Cornwall has to offer! Current Exhibitions near you... Simon Starling: Recent History – Tate St.Ives Exhibiting from 5th February – 2nd May 2011 Tate St.Ives presents the first major exhibition in the UK of the work of Simon Starling, since he won the Turner Prize in 2005. The exhibition focuses on the most important work he has created in the past 5 years, many being released only for the exhibition. In addition to this, Starling will create specific work especially commissioned for the show. British artist Simon Starling was born in 1967 and studied photography and art at Maidstone College of Art. Starling is a professor of Fine Art at the Städelschule in Frankfurt am Main. Starling’s work employs video, film, slide projections, photography, and sculpture. Many pieces within the exhibition use the context of rural Cornwall, emphasising his continuing interest in the relationship between culture and nature, and the transformation of the material world we live in. The exhibition will include many famous works of Starling, one in particular being ‘The Long Ton’ released in 2009. This creation is a sculpture of two white lumps made from roughly cut marble hanging in space.
Trevor Ashby: Earthly Delights - Royal Cornwall Museum, Truro Exhibiting from 15th January – 2nd April 2011
A photographic exhibition created by Trevor Ashby, who spent four years photographing plants at the Eden Project and who has more recently worked with collections at the RCM. Ashby produces high quality, hand printed and toned, black and white photographs including documentary, land seascapes and still life images of plant forms from the Eden Project. All Ashby’s fine prints are printed on fibre-based material, mostly Ilford’s Multi-grade matt or Warm tone semi-matt, and toned with sepia or sulphide, selenium and gold for their tone and permanency. From being asked to exhibit at the Royal Cornwall Museum, he was asked to present work from his past, in particular pieces from the exhibition shown at the Eden Project in 2008. Ashby did not intend to make a pure record of the archive but wanted to respond to the things that interested him from a visual point of view. The smaller features of the photographs were what he wanted to portray within the exhibition, including packaging and labels from past exhibitions using this series of work. Both ‘Recent History’ and ‘Earthly delights’ are just a taste of what Cornish art has to offer, and I would highly recommend visiting hidden and smaller galleries within Cornwall; you may find they are little gems of stunning art! Below are other galleries of art and design you may be interested in and around Cornwall: Bath Fashion Museum – A small, quaint museum exhibiting old and new fashion – www.museumofcostume.co.uk Newlyn Gallery, Cornwall – www.newlynartgallery.co.uk Eden Project, St. Austell, Cornwall – Often exhibiting one off exhibitions of artists and photographers from all over the world www.edenproject.com
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LIFESTYLE
Eat, Pray, Love...And Eat Some More. Text Emma Hayes Registered Dietitian Crystal MacGregor of Epicure Selections explains why food makes you feel happy, including why sick people crave chicken noodle soup, why emotional eaters are hooked on certain foods, and why people love comfort food. “Different types of food make men and women feel happy in different ways,” says MacGregor. “Women preferred snack-related foods such as chocolate and sweets, while men preferred meal-related foods such as pizza, pasta and steak.” So, having watched the pennies after a month of Christmas indulgence, and in the tradition of always listening to the professionals (if it suits us), it’s about time to splash out and treat your sluggish self to some delectable delights at the supermarket and at your favourite eateries. If you’re a DIY foodie, then take a look at the Waitrose website to find their brand new iPhone App, with tips from Delia Smith and Heston Blumenthal on the latest recipe ideas, conversion tools to guide you, how-to videos to teach you, seasonal tips to encourage you, and a timer to bring everything together. Or, if you really don’t want to get out from under the covers and cook, Sainsbury’s are doing a buy one get one free deal on Haagen Dazs ice cream (sounds more promising)! Alternatively, if you would rather let someone else do all the hard work, Pizza Express are offering 3 courses each for two people, for just £25. If you want to indulge in some healthy food, then join the YO! Sushi student club to receive a 1/3 off your next visit, plus get 25% off all year round (although that isn’t all that helpful in Cornwall!) For all these offers, just log onto www.studentbeans.com to find the details. So, to begin the ‘treat-yourself’ approach to the rest of this month, here’s a delicious recipe to indulge in, pass round and enjoy! Philadelphia Chicken with garlic dressed salad (serves 1 person) Cooking Time: 30 mins You will need: One chicken breast (organic if possible) Low fat Philadelphia with chives Pancetta/smoked bacon (cut into thin strips) Fresh herb salad leaves To make garlic dressing: One garlic clove, crushed 2 tbsp of lemon juice 4 tbsp of extra virgin olive oil Salt and pepper How to cook it: 1. Make a pocket in your chicken breast by cutting through lengthways, but do not cut the whole way through 2. Fill the inside of the chicken breast with Philadelphia 3. Wrap the pancetta or bacon in small strips around the chicken to hold it together, and rub with olive oil 4. Bake at 180 degrees for half an hour, or until the bacon is crispy 5. Serve with herb salad and dressing Enjoy!
Body Modification: Is it still taboo? Text Dani Birtles
Body modification has, in the past, been surrounded by preconceptions and at times, certain prejudices. It has affected jobs and in some cases, the entire lives of the people that showcased their ‘unsightly’ piercings or tattoos to the world. Now however, it seems that not only has it become more popular within today’s society, but it could arguably be seen to represent a tribal sense of belonging, even if this signifies a certain “scene” in musical or social cultures within our contemporary society. Body modification can come in many different forms, the most notable and popular of which would be tattoos and piercings. However, more and more types of modification have come to light that are more extreme and more often than not, more painful. To explain why people feel the need to do this, Ash Harrison, the owner of ‘The Electric Chair’ in Falmouth said: “There are many reasons why people get tattoos. Some see a family relative with them and think it looks good, or they do it to remind themselves of things that are important to them. It could also be said that tattoos are still tribal in a sense. I feel like a tribal leader sometimes, giving people ink. To be associated with a certain ‘scene’ seems to be the popular thing or fashionable now.”
Tattooing has been around since the Neolithic times and has been used for many purposes, from branding to symbolis ing religious beliefs and decorating the body for important events. Now it seems that tattooing still has that slight tribal feel but for all the wrong reasons. It has become a fashion statement, and a more popular form of body modification than say, piercing. “I hate to say that tattooing seems fashionable now, but it seems to be the case”, Ash says. “I’ve had people come to me to have ‘fan ink’, which is having a bands logo tattooed onto
you, but it just doesn’t seem right. It has no meaning.” However, sometimes there seems to be no reason for a tattoo. Dean Shepherd, 25, states: “To be fair I have no reasons. I do things in life how I see and feel them. I don’t need a rhyme or reason for it, but I don’t have one saying; ‘I got this ‘cos X died’ or ‘I got this ‘cos I stabbed a guy’ or something. But I could say it’s a slow progressive transformation. I’m going through of a change of human condition.” So that tribal instinct is still within us, willing us to have our memories permanently documented on our bodies, but has our modern society corrupted this instinct? Ash certainly seems to think so: “People do it for all the wrong reasons, like their friend got one so they want the same, or they just rush into having a tattoo done because they think ‘I want it now’ and just get the worst one possible. Then they come to me asking to cover it up!” So does he have any advice for anyone thinking of getting a tattoo in the future? “I’d advise to take your time, and make sure that the design you want is really what you want. And get the best artist you can which will make it all the more special. We specialise here at one-offs, which is usually the best way to go about things.” Despite our increasingly liberal society, body modification in any form, still seems to be the last taboo. Will this ever change? Only time will tell.
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arts@flexnews.co.uk
FASHION
New York? Paris? Give me Copenhagen and Sao Paolo any day of the week... Text Michael Swann
Today is one of those days that everyone bored of winter revels in a sure sign that summer is oh so very close now. The sun transforms my garden into a vision of blown out highlights and dense shadows (before being obstructed completely by the odd villainous cloud), the tree outside my window is sprinkled lightly with little pale pink buds of hope and joy, and the phrase “let’s go chill at the beach” makes a well-deserved come-back after a good 5 month hiatus. Yes, all looks hopeful, and it won’t be long before we’ll be dusting off our shorts and sandals, and delving into the darkest depths of our wardrobes in search of our favourite sunglasses and a straw hat. Of course, however, we must remember that this is Cornwall, loveable but untrustworthy Cornwall, and there’s no doubt in my mind that tomorrow will be the bringer of yet another week of dreary, damp, drizzle-filled days. These are the kind of days that no fashionista/o can ever prepare for; it doesn’t matter how invincible your expensive industrial umbrella is, it ain’t going any further than the end of the street without turning in on itself, and bending and breaking into something one might come across in a Charles Saatchi gallery. We are left with no other option but to grin and bear a face full of sporadic bursts of blustery weather and ice cold downpour. Great. As I write this, New York is being shaken left, right and centre by the likes of Calvin Klein, Marc Jacobs, Rodarte and Ralph Lauren as A/W 2011 fashion week lays the foundations for women’s winter trends. This event is just the start of February’s fashion calendar: shortly after New York, comes London fashion week, then New York Haute Couture, then come the big guns of Milan, and moving into early March, Paris. Surrounding these massive events are several other fashion goodies in the form of fashion weeks in Stockholm, Madrid, Kolkata and (of all places) Oxford! It seems there are very few cities in the world that don’t have their own fashion week. Does this slightly dilute the exclusivity of the big 4 (Milan, Paris, New York and London)? Or is it a great signal towards fashion reaching and uniting all corners of the globe? It’s a lovely thought, the idea that every country has a chance to explore its own fashion heroes, even if they don’t reach the status of your Ralph Laurens or your Karl Largerfelds. But it does put all things clothing into a bit of perspective, and I guess the same is relevant to any area of the arts, but to think that so many cities across the world put on fashion shows with local or national designers, why do the select few who show at the main events get the pedestal they stand on? I’m sure it’s safe to say that of the hundreds of fashion weeks in places other than New York, Milan, Paris and London, there must be a great deal of designers who showcase something really original and special, designers that the big wigs of fashion could learn a few things from. Copenhagen fashion week ran from 2nd to 6th February, and it presented the world with a good handful of stunning collections. No one collection stunned more though than the Ecco show. The shoe brand’s show was, of course, centred around its footwear, however, it was the frankly mental additional costumes that created a little bit of an impact. Models traipsed the catwalk dressed in nothing but shoes and what can only be described as a Mr. Potato Head drawn by a perverted 3 year old on their heads. Sao Paulo Fashion week also proved to be a bit of a head turner with eye-catching and bonkers collections from Samuel Cirnansck, and Neon and
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Triton (who used none other than Paris Hilton as a model, I’m withholding judgement for now). Neon’s collections especially screamed originality, with walking sticks that look like arms, capes shaped like massive glasses, and knitted orange dresses covered in black lips. Very rarely does a collection appear as fun as this, with as much optimism and light, it’s refreshing to see a winter collection that doesn’t stick to brown, black, navy, and white. It’s clear that fashion weeks the world over are heaving with designers and brands that really experiment with, and explore, interesting, fresh shapes and stylings. It often feels that the fashion deities feel insecure about being different,
One of the head-turning creations showcased at Sao Paolo Fashion Week
and with the exception of a few names (Prada and Givenchy come to mind), most successful designers stick to a standard formula that has proven triumphant in the past. This even includes the already distinctive likes of John Galliano and Vivienne Westwood. Perhaps this is just simple economics; a big fashion house finds a winning formula that sells a lot, so why wouldn’t they stick to it to squeeze as much as possible from those people willing to spend the money? It’s the designers like Miuccia Prada and Riccardo Tisci that I admire for their idiosyncrasy; their fearless approach to design is what keeps fashion alive and current. Maybe it’s no wonder then that Prada has been in debt since the late 90s!
One of the more, er, unique designs seen in Copenhagen!
LIFESTYLE
FASHION
How to date your wardrobe... Text Sophie Hives-Wood This year, Valentine’s Day really got me thinking: What DO you wear on a hot date? We all know that women’s high fashion never fails to intimidate even the most stylish of guys, so how do you strike that balance between chic and sexy, without looking like a fashion car crash or Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman? Well, I hit the high street in order to discover the perfect date outfits for all occasions... Ah, the classic dinner date. It’s always tricky to strike the perfect balance between dressed-up and casual attire, which is exactly why I like to keep it simple. And whilst most of us would love ‘simple’ to mean a casual shift that would make Blair Waldorf jealous, unfortunately we’re working with a student budget! So here’s my ideal outfit for eating out:
For a trip to the cinema, go all girly in this ontrend lace dress, again from River Island. Wear with some brown wedges, a cardi and a shoulder bag and you’ll be ready for your date to whisk you off your feet. (£44.99 from River Island)
This 2-in-1 dress in prefect if he’s treating you to a fancy restaurant, and it will make your legs look fantastic as well with the right pair of black heels. If you still don’t want to go this dressy, simply add a brightly coloured cardigan (very SS11!) These cute bracelets (£7.99 from New Look) would really finish off the outfit. Dress: (£22.99 from River Island)
My perfect ‘casual drinks date’ outfit would definitely feature this River Island top over black skinnies with heels. A sure-fire way to nail the effortlessly sexy look, you’ll also be making a great investment as this top is so versatile! (River Island, £29.99)
Pair with these cute earrings from New Look- a steal at £2.99!
Be pretty in pink on a lunch date! Try this silky number with a pair of dark jeans and casual shoe boots for the perfect daytime look. Wear with a big pretty bangle over one of the sleeves and these fabulous glittery earrings (seen below) and you’ll be all set to be treated like a lady! (£21.99 from New look) The perfect set of earings to go with this top. £5.99 at New look.
Finally, for the girls who want to make sure that their dates have a night to remember, grab some sexy lingerie to make your date one to remember! These saucy numbers are a New Look bargain... £14.99 at New Look
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Sports
Sports 6 Nations 2011: Clash of the Titans
Text: Graham Barclay This year’s tournament is shaping up to be one of the most gripping showdowns to date, with all six contenders displaying elements of dangerous flair, which may just cause a few upsets. In fact, 2011 marks the declaration of a war for European supremacy in the ovular sphere of rugby; one that spans across six momentous battlefields with six equally passionate armies each consisting of thirty-nine fearsome warriors. This year’s 6 Nations Championship is truly going to be one packed with action and filled with adrenaline, so for great entertainment that is guaranteed to keep you enthralled, as we have already seen so far, don’t miss out... Although anything is possible in this unpredictable tournament, the firm favourite for not only the title but the Grand Slam as well, is England. Martin Johnson’s youthful side have propelled themselves to the top of the table with two convincing victories, over Wales in the first week and most recently, Italy. England’s performance against Italy and Chris Ashton’s awesome dominance on the field symbolises the new-found exuberance in the squad. With a powerful pack and a fluid set of backs, England seemed to dominate Wales in Cardiff, and sent a thrashed Azzuri squad back to Rome with their tails between their legs. However, I think English fans should be careful about getting too excited too quickly as the subsequent pressure this places on the England squad could prove to be too heavy to handle. This springs to mind in the knowledge that both France and Ireland two very strong teams - are yet to be confronted by England and if their young maestros like Toby Flood and Chris Ashton become intoxicated with over-confidence, then I think the English ranks will expose themselves to the prospect of devastation. I do also wonder whether the very symbol of England’s reincarnated energy and refined synergy - the flamboyant Chris Ashton has too much pride to swallow - as his theatrical ‘swallow dives’ over the try-line may one day cause him to choke and leave him subject to the wrath of his team-mates and the ridicule of his country. Yet, I must also admit that Ashton adds drama to the bitter-sweet triumph and tragedy of the 6 Nations saga. England’s next contenders have been their rivals from time immemorial. France looks to be the only outfit capable of penetrating the English phalanx, and could do so with all the grandiose glamour they so brilliantly characterise. France is an adversary which should not be underestimated as they have proved able to imove mountains; epitomised by their 20-18 win over the All Blacks in the 2007 World Cup quarter-final. Fulgence Ouedraogo, the French open-side flanker is one player to watch as he
is quick at the breakdown and an expert at regaining possession of the ball. He will no doubt be wreaking havoc on the two English half-backs at Twickenham on the 26th. Another one to watch is winger Vincent Clerc; a fast and powerful player both blessed and vexed with white-line fever, he remains a constant threat to any opponent. Yet, there seems to be a degree of pessimism in the French ranks, most notably from head coach Marc Lièvremont who said that “England are very much ahead of everyone else” and that “it appears the other five nations are developing at a much slower level”. Key performers like Clerc and scrum-half Morgan Parra are integral to the notion of French supremacy in this year’s championship. I do question, however, whether ‘Les Tricolores’ will remain Parra-normal or whether they will be Parra-lysed by their later opponents. Another firm contender for the title is Wales. Victors of the 6
Nations and its predecessors twenty-four times outright, Wales are never to be ruled out. Having recently suffered a poor run of results, with only two wins out of fourteen, the Welsh have turned it around by beating Scotland 24-6 at Murrayfield. The dying embers in the bellies of each Welsh dragon burned fiercely against the Scots and unleashed upon them a firestorm too hot to handle. Wales left the Scottish battlefield victorious and scarred their scorched-earth policy into the hearts of every Scottish player. This is most evident in the performance of James Hook; a definite candidate for the RBS Player of the Championship award. He naturally splits open defences and gives birth to tries in a multitude insurmountable to most centres in the Northern hemisphere. If Wales put on the same display against Italy on the 26th in Rome, I believe that England and France will be threatened for the topspot. Currently fourth in the table is Ireland; the hapless ‘so close, but no cigar’ team. The Irish have every potential to beat any of the other five nations, but their performance in the competition to date is somewhat substandard. Having narrowly beaten Italy on the 5th February by two meagre points in Rome, and losing to France by a frustrating three points at the Aviva Stadium in Dublin, the luck of the Irish appears to have diminished. With an array of illustrious players such as Paul O’Connell, Sean O’Brien, Ronan O’Gara and of course, the prolific Brian O’Driscoll, I do wonder why Ireland have been so lacklustre and ill-disciplined so far in the competition. There simply seems to be no explanation for it. Ireland’s performance, or lack thereof against France demonstrates how easily the team hands victory to their opponents; sorely disappointing Irish fans who came to see an Irish win. However, I think things may turn around for Ireland, and I
look forward to the showdown between them and Wales in Cardiff on March 11th. Poor old Scotland, on the other hand, never seem to feature in the 6 Nations and having lost to France in Paris and then to Wales in Edinburgh, self-esteem issues may begin to saturate amongst its players. Yet, not everything is negative in the Scottish ranks as with their hero Chris Patterson and their new prodigy Max Evans, Scotland have some dangerous players. However, the team seems unable to gel and form a single unit. Showing no real signs of winning the title, Scotland will be aiming to win the historical Calcutta Cup against England, although this seems slightly unfeasible too, given the circumstances. I do want Scotland to fare well in this competition, but the looming reality is that it might be time to say farewell to that fantasy. Lastly are the stoic Italians. Relentlessly trying to win the title, Italy are unfamiliar with surrender. They are the pit-bulls of the rugby world and simply refuse to roll over and accept defeat. I think this is highly commendable, and is a trait intrinsic to Italian rugby. This was also evident in the recent English obliteration of the Italians, whereby the Azzuri maintained their pride throughout. Italy probably have their best team in decades and their close brush with victory over Ireland at the Stadio Flamino in Rome is emblematic of Italy’s flair and vivaciousness against any nation. Two truly outstanding combatants for the Azzuri are the Bergamasco brothers; Mauro on the flank and Mirco on the wing. These men are like lions on the battlefield, and could pose a major threat to the French when they meet in Rome next month. Sergio Parisse at Number 8 is the Italian stallion and is perhaps one of the best in the world in his position. From here onwards, Italy can only get
better, and my prediction is that in the next five to ten years, they will truly be a force to be reckoned with. The war has already begun across Europe, and it is survival of the fittest. England have unleashed an apparently unstoppable blitzkrieg on the other five nations, however, in doing so may have awakened several sleeping giants who could usurp their current domination of the competition; most notably France, but by my estimation the ‘Emerald Army’ as well. Yet, with the long-overdue reincarnation of Wales and the sudden improvement of Italy, who knows how this war will end? Whatever the outcome, this year’s tournament will prove to be a great stepping-stone in the immanence of the global conflict in New Zealand in November: the Rugby World Cup. What is almost certain, on the other hand, is the prospect of Scotland finishing the 6 Nations sixth and remaining a titan under-developed.
Harris stars as Tremough Crowntown Rout Text: Ian Perkins Man of the match Rico Harris bagged a hat trick as Tremough 2nds saw off Crowntown 8-1 on their travels on Sunday. It was best possible start for Tremough, under new manager Hugo Smith, as Andy Milne’s cross was tapped in at the far post by Harris in the first minute.
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Harris doubled his tally with a neat finish past the on rushingkeeper soon after. Tremough’s neat passing game caused problems for Crowntown all day but the third came from a corner as Milne turned provider again to find Fred Wagner in the box who headed home.
Smith got his name on the score sheet with a powerful drive into the top corner to put Tremough 4-0 up. Crowntown had a few sniffs at goal during the first half and got a goal back just before half time. Tremough were put under pressure after the half time break but against the run of play they nicked
a goal from another corner with Wagner scoring his second of the game. Ian Perkins, who was making his debut for Tremough, scored a curling shot from the edge of the box afterCrowntown failed to clear their lines from a corner. The seventh came from another
corner as Grant Beckley managed to get his toe onto the ball inside the sixyard box to poke past the goalkeeper. Harris completed his hat trick late on as he headed a high looping cross into the bottom corner.
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CSM vs ‘The Worst Team in Britain’ Sunday 14th November 2010 CSM 1STs 18 – 0 Perranporth Text: Matt du Gay
CSM: Chris Rushton, Ewan MacDougall, Angus Donaldson, Cal MacDougall, Tom O’Reilly, Will Jenkinson, Kyle Winney, Matt du Gay,
Stephen Divers, Daniel Rainbird, Si O’Neill. Subs: Terry Hearnshaw, Dan Rose, Ryan Sweet, Charlie Wright, Si
Thrilla in (Milan)illa Sunday 14th November 2010 Tremough 2nd XII 8-1 Crowntown. Text: Chris Rushton
The crowd seated around the edges of the arena created an inaudible, amorphous mass of noise, now silenced by a voice echoing through a microphone facing down towards the centre of the ring. The syllables rang out from a black-and-white clothed man placed between two others; it was the latter two who now came face-to-face, each attempting to win the mental skirmishes’ taking place before the physical battle. ‘I want this to be a clean fight, no funny business’, said the referee, his eyes darting to his right to the slightly smaller of the two men, the one who possessed wild hair that contrasted with his ‘I’ve-spent-hours-in-themirror-to-make-this-look-unkempt’,
Pirates of the Caribbean-esque facial hair. His Latin brow furrowed, unappreciative of the suggestion that he would be the scrappier of the two competitors. After a glare, he silently nodded in approval. The shorts’ of the man on the other side of the referee read ‘Jaws’, a reference to the man’s appearance; he had previously lost 4 teeth at once in a sparring accident after refusing a gumshield, dismissing them as ‘A boorichie ay new-fangled jobbie’ in his broad Northern-Glaswegian accent. No one understood what he meant, but one could assume it roughly translated as ‘Shit’. He had spent time training in Italy, the homeland of the man now foaming
Perry. A lot had been said in the weeks before this game about Madron. The so called “worst team in Britain” had an absolutely dismal record, losing all of the 16 games they had played, conceding 296 goals in the process, including a 55-0 thumping at the hands of league leaders Illogan. This was due to the entire first team walking out on the club just 4 days before the season began. Unsurprisingly, the CSM lads went into the game expecting a walkover, and were not disappointed. A couple of injuries and knocks forced changes in the heart of the CSM defence, with Angus Donaldson stepping in for Ryan Sweet. The game got underway, and despite
missing a couple of early chances CSM soon found themselves ahead, with Si O’Neill opening the scoring. This opened the floodgates, and the score was a commanding 12-0 by halftime, 7 of which had been bagged by Si O’Neill. CSM made changes in the second half, with Terry Hearnshaw, Charlie Wright and Dan Rose coming on to replace Si O’Neill, Will Jenkinson and Matt du Gay. However, the flow of goals didn’t stop, with CSM netting six more times during the second period, including an emphatic finish from Charlie Wright for the 16th goal of the game. Overall, the game was stupidly one sided, and CSM finished it knowing they could have won by a lot more.
at the mouth in anger in front of him, in order to acclimatise to the conditions of the wet February evening that confronted him; he needn’t have bothered, he would have found the same conditions awaiting him at home in Lanarkshire. Worse food, mind. The voice again rang out, cutting through the tension. ‘In the corner to my right, wearing the red and black shorts and weighing in at 167 pounds. The one they called ‘Ringhioooooooooooooo’, GENAROOOOOOOOOOOO G A T U U U U U U S S S S SOOOOOOOOOOOO’. The home crowd had erupted in frenzied rambunctiousness before the overly-exaggerated reading of the smaller man’s name had finished. Gattuso, feeding off the crowd’s energy tore around the ring like a previously caged attack dog at its antagonistic best. ‘In the corner to my left, wearing the white and blue shorts and weighing in at about 9 dozen haggis’ and a roast grouse, JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE JOOOOOOOOOORDANNNNNNNN’. Tumbleweeds would have been apt for the silence that enveloped the
noise. Jordan’s eyebrows proceeded to snarl inwards; this wasn’t unexpected. Bagpipes were playing ‘Flower of Scotland’ between the man’s ears and he was ready to take on the English at Bannockburn. Wait, that’s not right…the Italians, that’s it. The referee stepped back, and the two fighters were at last able to get close enough to smell each other, a musty concoction of fear, anticipation, adrenaline, sweat and fury. Whilst I’ve mentioned already that Jordan had spent time in Milan, Gattuso had also spent time in Glasgow as a 19-year old cucciolo, taking on bigger animals than himself in order to assert an authority far beyond his formative years; it was this experience that he now drew on, placing his face within a fingernail’s breadth of the Scotsman’s bulging eyes, smiling in fawning confidence. It also equipped him to deal with the impenetrable dialect that came naturally to Jordan. So when the Scotsman said, with specks of spit globulating in Johnny Depps’ Gattuso’s beard, ‘Ah cannae abide ‘at smirk yoo’re wearin’ sonny jeem, an’ i’ll enjoy teachin’ ye th’ manners ‘at yer maw ne’er did by wipin’ it aff yer coopon’, the Ital-
The CSM Scorers were: Simon O’Neill (9) Dan Rainbird (2) Angus Donaldson Kyle Winney Charlie Wright Ewan MacDougall Will Jenkinson Matt du Gay Stephen Divers.
ian knew precisely (well, sort of… he understood it better than I could, anyway) what Big Joe was insinuating. Feeling bilious anger rising from within, Gattuso shot out a hand and latched onto Jordan’s neck, looking resplendently like a Spartan from 300, and then butting his head into the Scotsman’s face. Clearly Gattuso’s Glasgow adventure had taught him nothing; a headbutt is child’s play to a 59-year old Scottish man with (some) teeth. With his trainer, the Churchill Car Insurance dog, looking on in hopelessness, Jordan embodied the national hero Robert the Bruce and ate Gattuso. Unfortunately, the Black Hole that Jordan’s cavernous mouth created meant that photos of the incident all failed to show anything but the bowels of Hell, which we can’t reproduce for obvious reasons. But the picture we’ve shown here, taken milliseconds before said Black Hole formed, would capture the heart of millions.
Sports and Recreation Round-Up Text: Hanna Royle
Get Out Into The Wild! Fancy an Easter trek in the Atlas and Anti Atlas Mountains of southern Morocco? April 2nd – 16th, a 10 day wilderness trek, led by an English speaking Berber guide. Camping, pack mules, music and good food! Plus several nights hotel in the centre of Marrakech. Easy Jet flights available - Few spaces left BIG discount for students and staff. For more details, contact Adventureline Walking Holidays now: adventureline@btinternet.
Ever tried Orienteering? com, or 01209 820847, or see w w w. a d v e n t u r e l i n e . c o . u k Cornwall orienteering club organise regular events throughout the county, suitable for all levels. The next event is on Sunday 20th February at Lanhydrock near Bodmin where they will be offering reduced entry fees, coaching and advice to get people started. Come along and take advantage of an introductory entry fee of just £2.
Orienteering is an excellent way to get out and about - explore some of the best areas Cornwall has to offer and improve your navigation skills. For the more energetic, it is a fast, competitive sport which appeals to runners looking for a challenge. A range of courses are available to suit beginners and experts; friendly experienced orienteers will be on hand to get you started. So come along and simply enjoy a day out in the woods, or compete against the
The UK Beach Sports best orienteers Cornwall has to offer. Sunday 20th February, Lanhydrock near Bodmin. Registration between 10:30am and 1pm. You will need a compass, a whistle, off-road shoes with good grip and full-leg cover (no shorts). For more info, see www. cornwallorienteering.org. uk, or e-mail iga202@ex.ac.uk
The UK Beach Sports Championships include 3 nights camping, 4 days entertainment and much more at Newquay for the following sports in June: Rugby 7’s, Cricket, Football 6’s (Mens + Womens), Netball, Surfing (Mens + Womens), Ultimate Frisbee, Volleyball and Cheerleading. For more information check out: h t t p : / / w w w. u k b e a c h s p o r t s . com http://www.facebook. com/#!/ukbeachsport
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