COMMENCING A NEW CHAPTER

Unfollowing the Narrative to Follow His Dreams

When invited to give the 2023 Flint Hill Commencement address, Dev Sethi ’02 was flattered to be asked to play such a significant role during such a momentous event. But he didn’t immediately accept. He thought it was important to first learn more about Flint Hill’s newly installed head of school, Patrick McHonett. “I’m going to be inextricably linked to him as the graduation speaker to culminate his first year,” Dev explains. He wanted to make sure their outlook and message for the graduates were aligned.

After meeting up in the fall, both Patrick and Dev knew the commencement collaboration was a go. Patrick found Dev to be “deeply considerate and astute,” noting how thoughtful it was of him to request the meeting in the first place. He was completely on board with Dev’s plan to focus his speech on the positive side of life’s obstacles, predicting it would be a powerful message for the entire community.

Dev started at Flint Hill in the 6th grade in what we now know as the Hazel Lower School — back when it housed the entire student body. Having all the students under the same roof bolstered the sense of community, according to Dev. “Older students felt a consistent obligation to set a good example for the younger students,” and he recalls that everyone rose to that challenge. In 12th grade, Dev and his classmates relocated to the newly constructed Upper School on Jermantown Road. Their first day of class was September 10, 2001, the day before 9/11.

“I remember being pulled out of class to be told about it,” Dev says. He was the SCA president, and the administration expected him to help lead his peers through what was sure to be a heartrending day, especially considering some students had parents who worked at the Pentagon. Dev recounts that day as the start of a surreal experience. He felt the responsibility to stand up for and support fellow brown students who, almost immediately, became the target of heightened racism. “It was very open and explicit,” Dev says. “I would get yelled at just walking down the street.” The leadership qualities he displayed during that time surprised him. For most of his time at Flint Hill, Dev kept a rather low profile. But flip through the pages of his senior yearbook and you’ll see that Dev served not only as the SCA president, but also as the editorin-chief of The View and captain of both the baseball and basketball teams. “In a million years, I would never have considered doing any of that,” Dev recalls. Those were all roles and honors he considered more befitting his twin brother, Raj. “He was always the more popular, more gregarious one,” he says.

Dev and Raj were interminably known at Flint Hill as two parts of a duo, each conforming to their own narrative: Raj, the outgoing one; Dev, the reserved one.

But just a few days into junior year, circumstances led to Raj’s unexpected departure from Flint Hill. It was a jarring turn of events for the Sethi family and impossible for Dev to imagine high school without his brother by his side.

When his parents asked whether he would want to leave as well, Dev strongly considered it. That’s when Maddie Krug, an English teacher at Flint Hill and Dev’s student council advisor, pulled him aside to offer what turned out to be life-changing advice.

“He was clearly upset, so conflicted about what to do,” Maddie recalls. Dev’s existence at school had always been tied to being the quieter Sethi twin. The spotlight was always on his brother and never on him. As Maddie recounts the story, “It was clear this was a born leader who had been living quietly up to that point next to his more vocal brother.” She encouraged him to reposition his perspective on being on his own.

“This may help you flourish,” she told him.

After much deliberation, Dev decided to stay at Flint Hill and spent his final two years at the school as one of one. He found that just outside his brother’s shadow was the space to step into his own identity as an adept leader, influential changemaker, and impressive representative of the Class of 2002.

The whole experience illuminated new possibilities for Dev. Even getting into Notre Dame, a top 20 school, was something he previously considered out of reach. He’d always dreamed about joining the Fighting Irish but never believed in his ability to make it happen. It would take him getting his act together academically, and with his newfound confidence and motivation, he did just that. Dev counts the decision to remain at Flint Hill and lean into an identity of distinction among the most pivotal decisions of his life.

On June 9, 21 years after introducing his own graduation speaker in his capacity as SCA president, Dev was the one being introduced and tasked with delivering that allimportant commencement address. His message to the Class of 2023 was simple and poignant: there is growth in discomfort. That’s a truth that has come up for him time and time again.

He asked the students to reflect on times they’d suffered a setback during their upper school years. “If you ever failed a test, been suspended, not gotten into a university, been dumped by someone, or missed the game-winning shot,” he said, “raise your hand.” The fact that almost everyone’s hand went up illustrated his point that life’s disruptions don’t have to disrupt progress.

Unexpectedly leaving Flint Hill was a definite disruption for Dev’s brother, but Raj went on to college at VCU and followed his passion to become an in-demand UX (user experience) designer. “Journeys are full of hiccups and challenges,” Dev says. “Life doesn’t always happen the way we have it mapped out in our mind.”

As for Dev, he jumped headfirst into the tech industry after graduating from Notre Dame, landing positions with YouTube, Google, and most recently with Meta, where he served as Director of Sports Partnerships. Finding a fulfilling career that married his passion for sports with his expertise in social media was a dream come true. But just two weeks before giving the commencement address, Dev was part of the 21,000-person layoffs at Meta. It was another unexpected challenge and one he wanted to share with the Class of 2023.

“I’m literally living in discomfort right now. It hurts,” he told them. “I have two choices. Let that discomfort swallow me up and consume me, or embrace it and reflect, learn, and grow out of this experience.” He assured them there’s always value in doing the latter.

Reflecting on Dev’s address to the students, Head of School Patrick McHonett says he will be forever grateful to remember him as his first graduation speaker, applauding the grace, vulnerability, and authenticity Dev showed. “He’s a shining example of what we hope for all Huskies.”

This October, Dev will be honored at the 40 Under 40 Awards in Las Vegas as one of Sports Business Journal’s young talents to watch. Though the details of what’s next for Dev have yet to be revealed, we know his perseverance and positivity will propel him on his path and he’ll continue realizing his dreams. Thanks to his example, the newest class of Flint Hill graduates will feel inspired to do the same as they eagerly commence their new chapter.