GUTTED, INSULATED + REBUILT BY JORDAN PERSON
Throughout my life, writing has always been a form of self-expression. I used journaling to help process life's events beginning at age 10, thanks to some incredible advice. As the years went on, my writing evolved just like I did. Poetry was one of my favorite things to write for a long time, and it always rhymed. No matter where life took me, as long as I could get out what I was feeling on paper, I could figure out what my next steps were. Until I got sick. I would try and write, but I was so lost, scared, and in so much pain every single day my attention span did not allow me to. Reading became difficult too. Before I knew it, books, magazines, even articles on my phone were no longer interesting. My mind was so distracted by being in pain and uncomfortable that I could barely verbally communicate what I was experiencing, let alone journal it. One day I sat down, and the only thing that poured out of me were three words: gutted, insulated, and rebuilt. Those three words described me and the journey I had been experiencing. I wrote them over and over. I didn’t even understand their meaning at the time. Honestly, I may not have understood completely until right now, as I am telling this story for GRAM. This is a journey of barely surviving to thoroughly thriving, all thanks to cannabis plant medicine. GUTTED. In 2010, the pain I had in my right side had become constant. Doctors ordered so many tests. I had x-rays, CT scans, upper endoscopy, colonoscopy, pelvic ultrasounds, kidney ultrasounds, blood 30
PAIN
tests galore, and so much more. I felt poked and prodded and confused. It seemed like every test they did, they found something--it just wasn’t the cause of the pain. Finally, a test done on my gallbladder called an ejection fraction was completed, and it showed that my gallbladder was not functioning at all. Although I showed zero signs of gallbladder issues, the doctors insisted it was the cause for the pain and made the decision to remove it. That was just the beginning. During the procedure they found a tumor on the underside of my liver. The size of the tumor pushed my gallbladder out of its way and caused the malfunction of the organ itself. Several specialists told me the tumor was inoperable. I made the decision to leave my home state of Florida and head to Colorado as a medical marijuana refugee. I knew the state had a medical program. The 13 pharmaceuticals I was on didn’t help me, but everytime I consumed cannabis, I felt some sort of relief. Not long after arriving in Colorado, I obtained my medical marijuana card and began consuming the plant in all of its forms; topicals, smokeables, tinctures, capsules, edibles, all of it. The pain in my right side reached an all time high. This time the emergency room doctors in Colorado would find what was causing my pain all along, what all the other agonizing tests had missed--a massive stone in my right kidney. I was prepared for emergency surgery. That surgery led to another one due to the fact I have two ureters on my right kidney. Stents were placed
