PTSD & THE POWER OF NATURAL PLANT MEDICINES BY JORDAN PERSON
Serving in the military is a different way of life; it changes men and women forever. According to the CDC, veteran suicide, especially in those age 18-34, is higher than ever.1 Keep reading to learn the details that shaped the life of former Tactile Infantry Fire Team Leader for the U.S Army, Matt Kahl. Learn about his attempt at suicide and what put him on the path to cannabis and plant medicines. Kahl comes from a military background, moving several times while growing up. “I was an English-speaking minority in Norway, several places in Europe, and Tokyo. North Carolina was where we always returned though,” Kahl explains. Instead of enlisting right out of high school, he chose to attend Appalachian University in North Carolina to study behavioral neuroscience. “Once I was done; my undergrad studies were over, and the fun part of learning was gone; it became clear it would be 8 more years before I could have my own lab, and that wasn’t the route I wanted to take with my life,” says Kahl. “So, there I was, 29 and wanting more stability in my life. I just had my son, and I wanted to do something he could look up to. Freedom was always important to me, the principles of the constitution, and the oath of service. So I made the decision to enlist in th Army, specifically the infantry,” recalls Kahl. “I joined very late as far as average age, but my ASVAB scores allowed me easy entry. I remember the day I got to my unit. My commanding officer started yelling at me, ‘You are the dumbest smart person I have ever met.’ I explained that I wanted to fight a war, not sit behind a desk.”
40
Kahl served from 2007-2011. He recalls, “The level of comradery is something I still miss, because it’s like nothing else. You must be ready to fight for the life of the soldier to your right or left. There is the nonsense of rock stacking and hole digging, or punitive manual labor like mowing the grass with scissors. The commanding officers became very creative with their punishments for people that screwed up. I think because I was older, I knew if I paid attention and listened, it made a world of difference. I proved to my officers I was a stellar soldier, and I got to go to courses and trainings to teach my fellow soldiers what I had learned. I had a lot of opportunities that built my confidence.” Kahl was based at Fort Campbell, Kentucky and deployed twice to Afghanistan. “My first deployment went fantastic by all accounts,” Kahl explains. “I knocked out 15 months overseas. We lost a few guys, but it felt like we did well as a unit. After you get home, there is a honeymoon period: being near your family, having good food, and all the freedoms we take for granted.” After the success of Kahl’s first deployment, his commanding officer attempted to convince him to join the officer corps. “I wanted to be a non-commissioned officer first. Instead, I was pulled off the front line (which I loved) and given a job doing exactly what I didn’t want. The move took away my option for advancement. I was isolated from all the people I deployed with. I went from being on the front lines to spending the vast majority of my time doing inventory. The stress of what I was responsible for (millions of dollars in equipment) began to weigh on me,” says Kahl.
It wasn’t just the stress of the new role; the toll that deployment took on Kahl was more than he realized. “Losing friends, and the second guessing that goes with it, is the hardest part. Survivor’s guilt is all tied up in it. You constantly ask yourself, ‘What could I have done to stop it, could I have run faster or held on tighter, done something, done anything to prevent my brother from dying?’” Thoughts like these can amplify PTSD symptoms and lead to severe depression and anxiety. “Right around Christmas 2009, I tried to commit suicide with an overdose. I ate it all, everything I could find. From cold medicine and cough suppressants to opiates and every pharmaceutical in the cabinet. The doctors pumped my stomach, and I was fine. My son was only two at the time. When he came to the hospital, he held my finger and said ‘Daddy, why are you sick?’ The right answer was, ‘I did this to myself.’ But I could not tell my child that. So I told him, ‘Daddy is getting better, and you won’t have to see me here again.’ I knew I needed to be there for family, my unit, and future units. So, I pulled myself together.” During his second deployment, Kahl sustained several injuries. The Financial Liability Investigations of Property Loss (FLIPL) said it was an IUD. “I remember a big boom, and I remember hitting my face and flying through the air. I remember hearing ‘Kahl hang on.’ It is still unclear what we may have hit at 45 mph. The vehicle was destroyed. I was ejected from the vehicle, hitting my face on the turret shield. My upper left jaw was pulverized; I had extensive facial fractures, traumatic brain injury, cervical, thoracic, and lumbar spine injuries. When I came to, I couldn’t understand speech very well; I couldn’t read; my jaw required surgery.”
