Recovery of Connection: Be of Service

What is Recovery?

It is recovering that state of oneness with the Universal life force that is our natural state. It is recovering the awareness of that Connection - whether we call it God, the Higgs Field, or Nature – that is innate in our beings. We all sprang from the Source of Creation. We breathe air that every living thing on the planet has breathed since the dawn of time. We drink water that has been recycled through every living being that lived on earth. Our DNA contains the codes of more than one species. Our genes carry the memories of our ancestors.

Recovery is awareness of this Connection and recovering from the loss of it.

For many people, the word “Recovery” signifies recovery from addiction. If we look at addiction as a state of disconnection, as I do in my book, Addict America: The Lost Connection, then Recovery is living in a state of Connection and recovering from the losses we experienced in our lives that led us to a fear Connection.

How do we live in Recovery? With awareness of Connection, we can let go of our egos and recognize that giving our physical and emotional energy to others and our creative energy to the Universe is an evolutionary step to wholeness and health. When we are focused on others, we are not aware of our selves and the imperfections we attribute to ourselves.

When we are focused on relieving our own pain, making ourselves feel good, or even giving ourselves positive affirmations, we are turning our energy inwards and that is not recovery.

Service in recovery means that you turn your energy outwards and experience the awareness of being in Connection. Service can take many forms and all you need do is open yourself to it. The opportunities are there.

Volunteer, do work that helps others, or even find a creative pursuit that contributes something of beauty to the Universe.

Do NOT confuse service with sacrifice. Sacrifice takes away from ourselves in an attempt to control another’s suffering.

Service enhances others’ lives and yes, may certainly relieve suffering, while enhancing our own lives through awareness of Connection. Sacrifice denies Connection since it implies suffering on the part of the giver and then the receiver, if Connected, would suffer from that.

Here is a simple example: My husband and I like very different foods. If we discuss going to a restaurant with something he likes and I don’t, then there is the possibility of either service or sacrifice. Service means that I can choose to go to his restaurant of choice and enjoy the experience of being with him and of him enjoying his meal and the two of us being in Connection. Sacrifice would mean that I am going to suffer by going to his chosen restaurant and I’m only doing it to “make” him happy (think Serenity Prayer). He will either be disconnected and enjoy his meal in spite of my suffering or, more likely, he will not enjoy the meal because I am not happy.

Make a decision each day: Addiction or Recovery? Disconnection or Connection?

Written By: Dr. Carol Clark, LMHC

Dr. Carol Clark is a practicing sex and addiction therapist. She is the founder and director of a PhD program in Clinical Sexology and of several training institutes where therapists and other healthcare professionals receive advanced training in a variety of fields. Her books, Addict America: The Lost Connection and My Pocket Therapist: 12 Tools for Living in Connection, will help everyone to live in connection with themselves, others, and the universe.