The Loss of a Client

Professional Experience Article

Nobody prepares us, mental health professionals, to deal with the sudden death of a client As counselors, we train to help/guide our clients through their mental health healing journey, develop the necessary skills and tools to face their struggles, but we are not prepared to lose them halfway through the process.

In 2022, as a new counselor, I lost one of my first clients in an unfortunate car crash. A client whose life was cut short too soon, a client who I have been working with for almost a year, have witnessed them grow exponentially and who had her whole life ahead of her. The pain I felt is something I cannot describe and as a professional, I struggled with not knowing how to feel or act in this situation. The dichotomy between how I should feel and address what happened as a person and as a professional was hard to deal with because we are not trained or prepared for this kind of circumstance. At the end of the day, we might be mental health professionals, but we are human beings who are highly empathetic and build rapport and professional relationships with our clients.

As counselors, we learned about the stages of grief and how to help clients process death and support them through their grieving process. However, when we are the ones who are going through it, it is a different story. Mourning the loss of someone close to us is hard, and one way or another we become close to our clients. I was so proud of my client and had so many hopes for her and her future, but that was cut short too soon as well. I struggled in not knowing how to actor mourn her because we are expected to set boundaries and to manage countertransference, but some things seem easy on paper, but not in practice.

As a person and counselor, I grieved her life, hopes, and dreams, because I am still a person who feels, and because of that, I can be a counselor, that is able to put herself in other people’s shoes and work hard along with clients to achieve their mental health goals and support them throughout their journey. As counselors, we know our ethical standards and we abide by them, we have been trained in multiple areas to be able to help others, but sometimes we forget that we need help too, because school does not prepare you to deal with the death of a client or address how as a counselor you are allowed to grieve your client as well, and just as we encourage our clients to seek help when they need it, we should start setting that example by seeking it when we need it.

Written By: Maria Alejandra Cortés, MS Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern

Maria is a registered mental health counselor in Florida, working towards her mental health counselor license Maria earned science degree in Clinical Rehabilitation Mental Health Counseling and has a BA in psychology