FOKE April 2013 Edition by FOKE magazine

A lot happens over coffee

The small print Edition II Editor in Chief | Sharlene Whyley Sub Editor | Hannah Story Contributing Photographers | Andrea Zubani, Jeremy Shaw, Kristina Yenko, Hannah Hawkins Contributing Journalists | Amy Kidd, Chelsea Anstee, Simon Masterton, Winsome Walker, Nathan Smith, Rachel White, Kate Wilcox, Samantha Jonscher, Hannah Hawkins, Natalie Kapovic, Hannah Story, Mitchell Neave, Tara Whyley, Jeremy Gurto, Basil Naimet, Loren Nilsson, Jemma Williams , Jack West, Peter McAlpine

Contributing Columnists | Simon Masterton, Chelsea Anstee, Mitchell Neave

Advertising | media@foke.com.au Enquiries | hello@foke.com.au foke.com.au po box 849 Hornsby 1630 ABN 36 735 218 594 Whilst every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of information in this magazine, no responsibility can be accepted by the publisher for inaccuracy or for submissions by organisations or individuals and/or printers' errors. FOKE magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part thereof without permission is strictly prohibited.

foke.com.au Sydney's Original Cafe Magazine

FOKE Edition II

Contents Sydney FOKE 16

Sam & the Bird A photorial

First Few Rows May Get Wet

A day in the life of a festival photographer

2 Amigos

The Cantina mexican food van

Lining Up For Ice Cream

The ice cream bar at Manly markets

Hinky Dinks Bar

Jeremy & Dan take us back to the 50's

Lucid Dreaming

Control your dreams

A Real Life Dumpster Diver

Were they on drugs?

Cheesefest

Quick FOKE 8

The Odd Origins of Idioms

Let's Face It

The cheesiest songs of all time

108

Best Photo Opportunities

There's something about Facebook

106

Sydney's Boutique Cinemas

Standing next to a sign

5 boutique cinemas you must visit

The 7 piece hoedown collective

Avaberee

The acappella pop trio

The Tide & Tide of Tim FInn 40th anniversary of Split Enz

Strange but true

Funny FOKE

Philosophers from a long time ago

...with comedian Christopher Wayne

Your Next Dinner Party Conversation

YouTube Soup .. 5 varieties discovered

The Food Van Revival

Sydney's streets play host to gourmet vans

Sex, Flamenco Dancing & Murder Writers profiles

The strangest www's

FOKE Manuals

Dumpster Diving for Beginners

The Appropriate & The Inappropriate Public Displays of Affection (PDA)

102

Tips for Chix Tips for Lads

A Coffee & a Milk Arrowroot

FOKE Flashback 30

The Curse of Little Bastard

James Deanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s legendary Porsche

Guys & Dolls Film

Meet Jessica

Feature Story:

Warbirds photographer

Profile

Lads on

Frisbee Anyone?

FOKE Columnists

The Hopeless Romantics

The Masterton Columnist

I'm a stripper

Road Trip ..to Boot Hill

Ultimate frisbee in Sydney

Movie Goofs

Titanic and Wizard of Oz 4

107

104

The 21st Century Homewrecker Three is a crowd

Baby Names

8 Things you didn't know about your body

Little Bastard

from Shanghai Charlie's Tattoo Palour

Will any other era stack up?

Super Hero

Phil Capdor

Tattoo Artist Bodie

80's & 90's Television

FOKE Music

101

A chat with...

Sydney's Most Wanted Barista

FOKE Top Picks

40 66

Meet Lucas Feature Story:

, S B R E V O R P ARE THE , Y R O T S I H AT DS,

N E G MS TH O E T L S U F S). C O R E & S D T E A C S E I I R V S D ON OKE E A

C LL TALES, WIS E R UP (F O O R L G E R K O O E E F R BELIEFS, TA H R T U T L H U C T I B U POPULA ULTURE, S TSELF W

I . E F S I L N R Y E A C D ON S OF EVERY C Y L L A U Q N E E O I D E T I A R D O M A L R T E N K E E O E F AN B D N S U A M H S , E T E M R I R T O O E F L M F E O E S OK F Y R H E C V A E E H F R G O O F U Y O E T H I K T D O I L F L A A Y B V D E E H T T P E CE R C A U S . E N B H E T N U A TO C R T Y MIS IBILIT OF S N O I T I D A TR

T H G I R T U O R O Y C A R U C INAC NS O P S E R O N

Est. 2012

FOKE L TE

AE | LORE

You will find FOKElore scattered throughout FOKE We accept FOKElore submissions at fokelore@foke.com.au

FOKE Chix on 6

Chix on

Est. 2012

n years passed, Australian tabloid newspapers traditionally published a photo of a scantily dressed model on page three. The bikini models were known as the ‘Page 3 Girls’. Although ‘Page 3’ was popular with some readers, it also attracted a lot of criticism. Some argued that ‘Page 3’ demeaned women with photographs that were inappropriate for publication in a familyoriented newspaper.

Meet Jessica

iss Jessica comes to us from the US of A. She graced the month of August in a recent Warbirds Calendar and has enjoyed a busy modelling career given buoyancy by the famous Warbirds Calendar. Her retro style compliments the war planes she is photographed against and with the help of photographer Christian Kieffer, Jessica actually looks as if she has stepped out of the late 40's.

FEATURE STORY on page 54

With subtlety and decorum (and tongue in cheek), FOKE returns the famous ‘Page 3’ phenomenon. FOKE’s ‘CHIX on 6’ offers up and coming models a chance to reach a wide audience choreographed in retrospective styling, reminiscent of the 40’s. 50’s and 60’s, FOKE models are photographed with dignity and decorum. ... And so that we don’t sustain any criticism, notably from those who in the past may have argued that ‘Page 3’ objectified women, FOKE has backed up ‘Chix on 6’ with ‘Lads on 11’. To apply to be a ‘CHIX on 6’ model write to chixon6@foke.com.au

Warbirds Photographer: Christian Kieffer FOKE journalist Jack West, chats with the photographer behind the romance of Jessica's photo shoot. 7

A movie is most line

Quick FOKE written by Jack West

funny the

The Odd Origins of Idioms

It’s least

during

. movie

funny quoted when

more once

Strange, but true

hese strange phrases that we use everyday have no direct translation. They just make no sense at all when taken literally. No wonder people learning English scratch their heads at these crazy phrases we call idioms. Let’s ease some confusion and find out where some of them originated from.

than

In George Washington’s days, one’s image was either sculpted or painted as there were no cameras. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Most paintings of George Washington (for example) show one side of his standing torso with one arm showing. An extra arm and leg would have cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, ‘Okay, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.’

business or games

Est. 2012

FOKE L

AE | LORE

In houses, in our not so distant past, the floor was simply dirt. Only the very wealthy had something other than a dirt floor, hence the saying, dirt poor.

number 3

Don’t take, pe

number 2

It will cost you an arm & a leg

after ovie the m

traffic lly rsona

dirt poor

straight laced / loose

number 1 When ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front, the tighter and more perfectly laced the corset, the more proper and dignified the woman. Woe be the ‘lady’ whose corset was laced up in a loose and sloppy fashion. She was considered promiscuous or ‘loose’.

mind your p’s & Q’s

number 4 It’s believed this idiom originated in Ireland at local taverns, pubs, and bars, where people drank from pint and quart-sized glasses. A bar maid’s job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. Bar maids had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in ‘pints’ and who was drinking in ‘quarts,’ hence the term ‘minding your ‘P’s and Q’s

graveyard shift / a dead ringer / saved by the bell

number 5 English FOKE (a long time ago) started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realised they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the ‘graveyard shift’) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, ‘saved by the bell’ or was considered a ...’dead ringer’.

it’s raining cats & dogs

number 6 Houses in the 1500s had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying ...

once in a blue moon

number 7 A ‘blue moon’ happens whenever there’s a full moon twice (instead of the usual once) in the same month. There was a blue moon on New Year’s Eve 2009 and just recently we had another blue moon on August 31, 2012. If you missed it, you will have to wait a few years to see another blue moon. Blue moons are quite rare, even though the moon is not actually blue... usually. But the phrase exists because a few times the second moon has been blue due to certain atmospheric conditions at that time. So if it doesn't happen often.. it happens 'only once in a blue moon'.

playing with a full deck

go-sip (GOSSIP)

number 9 Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV’s or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to ‘go sip some ale’ and listen to people’s conversations and political concerns. The two words were eventually combined.

Big wig

number 10 As awful as it sounds.. across most of Europe (a very long time ago), men and women bathed very rarely - some only once or twice annually. Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford elaborate wigs made from wool. They couldn’t wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term ‘big wig.’ Today we often use the term here comes the 'big wig’ because someone appears to be, or is powerful and wealthy.

number 8 In the days of old, playing cards was very common entertainment. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards that was only applicable to the Ace of Spades. To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren’t ‘playing with a full deck.’ 9

FOKE Lads on 11

Lads on Est. 2012

ith subtlety and decorum (and tongue in cheek), FOKE returns the famous ‘Page 3’ phenomenom.

FOKE’s ‘LADS on 11’ offers up and coming models a chance to reach a wide audience - choreographed in retro styling, FOKE models are photographed with style and decorum. To apply to be a ‘LADS on 11’ model write to ladson11@foke.com.au

Meet Lucas

hirty one year old actor and model Lucas Glover recently moved back to Australia after living in London and working in musical theatre throughout the UK and Europe.

FEATURE STORY on page 12. I'm a Stripper FOKE journalist Amy Kidd, chats with Lucas for our regular 'Coming Out' series about his 'Hot Shot' life.

FOKE Lads on 11 Feature written by Amy Kidd photograph by Hannah Hawkins

"I'm a Stripper"

Lads on Lucas Glover

ydneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 'Hot Shots' lead very busy lives. Thirty-one year old Lucas has a schedule book that is literally bulging. FOKE journalist Amy Kidd managed to tie the Bellevue Hill babe to a chair for a ten minute quickie and unbuttoned the truth about life as a male stripper.

www.sydneyhotshots.com

Where did you grow up? Central Coast. What was your childhood like? Fairly normal. I was always really hyperactive but a pretty good kid. What did you want to be when you grew up? A lawyer or an actor. What is your job description? Start with clothes on and end with clothes off. Pretty complex stuff really. When did you start stripping? For money? Last March. How did you get into it? I started working as a topless waiter. How much exercise is involved? I work out at the gym everyday as well as doing about forty minutes of core and Pilates work at home every morning. How did your friends/family take it when you told them you were stripping? Nobody was in the least bit surprised. Most just laughed.

Have any of your family seen you perform? Not stripping. Just in other shows that I've been in. What was your first show like? I had no idea what I was doing but I faked the hell out of it and the women in the audience thought I had been doing it for years. Any stand out stories from your performances? None that should be in print. But ask me after the show. How do dates feel about your job? I'll let you know if the issue ever arises. I've been single for going on four years. Where do you see yourself in ten years? Earth, but I don't want to be too closed minded on that one. What is your advice to someone thinking about pursuing a career like yours? Love attention. Love exercise. Just be friendly to the crowd and love to be on stage and performing. If you're hot with an awesome bod, loads of charisma and flawless dance moves, then this is a great career choice for you. You obviously don't need all of those things, but they certainly help.

AWARD WINNING ON SITE PIZZA CATERING

Sydney FOKE written by Rachel White photography by Kristina Yenko

Sam & the Bird A photorial

am & the Bird, literally a moniker pulled out of nowhere, has given Lachlan an identity which people remember and which, we predict, will one day soon be known across the globe.

Kristina Yenko Photographer

Kristina is a twenty year old emerging Fashion Photographer based in Sydney. The following photorial of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Sam & the Birdâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; was shot by Kristina at St James Station, Sydney.

More of her work can be viewed online: www.kristinayenko.com

Sydney FOKE

Many a commuter will recognise Lachlan McCarthy as the man that brightens their day with his chilled tunes at Sydneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s train stations. Performing as Sam & The Bird, Lachlanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s instrumental numbers have cheered many a weary traveller and we find out what makes the man behind the moniker tick.

Sydney FOKE So Lachlan, tell us a bit about your musical beginnings... I was actually classically trained as a violinist for 14 years and then in about year 8 I had some guitar lessons and it all just went from there really.

What made you put down the violin and pick up a guitar? A couple of mates were playing [the guitar] so it was more of a social thing.

Why did you take to the street with your music? Busking was a means to an end in the beginning. I was just doing it because I’d left my job and then I realised I could make decent money for just playing my guitar.

You’ve had success in a really short amount of time, why do you think that is? The thing to do is get out there and spread the music. This whole thing only started in July last year when I brought out a little CD that I recoded at home, which sold 850 copies. So then I put together an album and sold 1000 copies and followed it up with an EP in December and have sold 750 copies so far.

Is busking a long-term plan, where do you see yourself going from here? At the end of day busking is a nice thing to do; I get to take my music straight to the people. On the other hand, I don’t want to be doing it at 60. I’d love it to evolve into something that I can live off, if I can put food on the table I’m happy with that and anything else is a bonus.

What’s your next project? I was back in the studio at the end of February for an album that has all the songs I’ve written on it, but with vocals as well. Hopefully it will attract more people than just the instrumental music that I’m currently doing.

Download Sam & The Bird’s EP ‘When Words Fail’ from iTunes. 22

www.facebook.com/SamAndTheBird

Expecting

Quick FOKE written by Natalie Kapovic

the world to treat

you

fairly because

you are good

pecting is like ex

the bull

not

to charge

becausea you are

vegetarian

't can you if

convice them, then

confuse

them Est. 2012

FOKE L

AE | LORE

IF LOVE WAS A BATTLEFIELD BEFORE SOCIAL NETWORKS... IT'S NOW A FULL FLEDGED- COMBAT ZONE. DITCH THE DANGER & ADOPT A MORE COMPATIBLE COMMUNICATION STRATEGY FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. we suggest SKY WRITING OR A SCRIBBLED LOVE NOTE ON THE BACK OF THIS FOKE.

The 21st Century Homewrecker I do not mean to evoke a panic

... But during last night’s moonlit stroll with your significant other, you had some unexpected company. Giving new meaning to the expression... 'three is a crowd'. Social networks are here to cause techno trouble in paradise with their complete disregard for anything private. Just like a shady ex emerging from the past, Facebook is gaining the unfavourable reputation of being a 21st century homewrecker. All the facets available to overshare our innermost private thoughts are just too tempting to resist when it comes to our own relationships, and it seems our innate obsession with bragging, berating and bickering in a public arena hasn’t gone unnoticed. A recent survey, conducted by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that four fifths of divorce attorneys recognise the amount of times social networks are mentioned in a case has risen in the past five years. Status updates, photo tags and check in’s may be the catalysts in this day and age for relationship breakdowns, but who is really to blame? Is Facebook just dangling an all too enticing carrot in front of our faces when it comes to sharing information online? Maybe, but learn to resist, and you might just save your relationship from ruin.

the 3 wise commandments

These may be the warning you need to learn to log off and re-join reality every once in a while.

uNever underestimate the ability of a spouse with cyber-stalker tendencies to find

out your deepest, darkest secrets. Or at least what you were up to at 2am this morning. We’ve all indulged our inner private investigator once or twice on Facebook to delve beneath the surface in the search of something juicy. It’s ridiculously easy for your beau to trace back past events in your life, so it goes without saying, don’t post anything that you want kept private. Then again, if you’re so intent on keeping something from your partner, chances are you have bigger issues than your privacy settings.

vThe internet is not a washing basket. Take your dirty laundry elsewhere. Sure, the

occasional declaration of love for all of your 525 friends to see isn’t going to do much harm, but the bigger issues and niggling fights have no place on a public forum. The private matters are best dealt with in private, and no, hiding in the quiet of your bedroom behind a keyboard doesn’t qualify. Don’t underestimate your audience either – witnessing Facebook feuds between couples is similar to that of another disastrous event that you can’t just tear your glance from, even though better judgement says otherwise.

wJealousy is fuelled even by the most inconspicuous comments and photos.

The green-eyed monster thrives in a digital environment, feeding on the naivety and hidden insecurities of couples. An innocent enough wall post or tagged photo has huge potential to be misinterpreted and skewed by the other half of your relationship, and can unmask trust issues that have been lurking in the dark for years. Until now. *cue suspenseful music*

“A wise girl knows her limits, a smart girl knows that she has none.” ― Marilyn Monroe

FOKE Music written by Hannah Hawkins

The 7 Piece Hoedown Collective ... known as Little Bastard

Introducing Little Bastard; Matt Mason, Ross Tipper, Johnny Took, Ed Rowe, Daniel D’arcy, Trevor Davies, and Liam Hoskins www.facebook.com/LittleBastardos

f you want to know what 'hoedown collective' sounds like, open up a new tab and search Little Bastard. Named after the car that lead to James Dean’s untimely death, the Sydney country rock seven-piece has an infectious party vibe that usually has their audience losing a significant amount of electrolytes trying to keep up. I met up with three of the guys – Johnny Took, Trevor Davies and Ross Tipper – to discuss what they’re all about. Turns out that they’re influenced by bluegrass (no kidding), but resent labeling themselves that – which is why they don’t. “We don’t really call ourselves bluegrass. We’re not as good as real bluegrass musicians; they’re amazing,” says Took. “It would almost be disrespectful to call ourselves a bluegrass band,” insists Davies, a member of Mountains and Panama. “They would laugh at us,” adds Tipper, who is also one-half of folk duo Achoo! Bless You. So, ‘Country Party’ was the genre they settled on, a genre possibly penned by a drunken fan, says Davies. Johnny, like most of the others, had been writing and performing music for years leading up to this latest project. With a background in country, he was one of the founding members of the band almost a year ago. Little Bastard burst into the indie music scene in a vibrant cloud of banjos, mandolins, fiddles, and yahoos.

Little Bastard burst into the Indie music scene in a vibrant cloud of banjos, mandolins, fiddles & Yahoos.

Davies explains to me they’re not here to make it big, or get slimy record deals. “We’re having as much fun as the audience when we play,” he says, taking a sip of a 4 o’clock beer. “They know that, and that’s probably why the people who come to our gigs have such a good time.” With seven guys up on stage, you’d expect it to get a little chaotic, but you wouldn’t want it any other way. There’s no frontman; the lead vocalist duties swing around the group like a musically talented Lazy Susan that knows just when to stop. It also pours itself its own bourbon. ‘Just Won’t Do’ is a notable tune that will make you feel like putting on some heavy boots and kicking your way through a bar of people with shoestrings for belts. ‘Desert Roller,’ written by Daniel D’Arcy (the one who doesn’t look like he’s going to break his instrument over his head), is one of their only chilled-out songs, and sounds like it was actually written by a wise old alcoholic from the Old West. Currently, there are only live recordings on the internet, but the group is working on releasing an EP this month. They tell me they were in no rush to record and their live presence has been enough to gain them recognition so far. Go to their next show. But don’t call them bluegrass. They’ll probably throw you out. 29

FOKE Flashback written by Jeremy Gurto

The Curse of Little Bastard James Dean’s legendary Porsche

egendary actor James Dean has become a poster child for living fast and dying young; a notion romanticised by today’s would-be rebels and played out by countless musicians including Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse. However, Dean’s mysterious death in a car crash becomes all the more mysterious when one learns of the bizarre set of events surrounding the car wreckage. It seemed that one death was not enough for what was once named “Little Bastard”, and it went on after Dean’s death to cause severe injuries, auto accidents and even more deaths, before finally vanishing without a trace. So began the legend of the curse of Little Bastard.

It was like a silver bullet: Shiny, fast & rare. James Dean’s Porsche 550 Spyder was only one of 90 ever made.

The Curse of the Little Bastard continued

An amateur racer, Dean purchased the silver Porsche 550 Spyder during the filming of Rebel Without a Cause. The car was customised with red stripes, a racing number 130 and was christened “Little Bastard” after a nickname Dean had been given on the set of his movie Giant. Dean planned to race Little Bastard after filming Giant, and in the meantime was ecstatic about showing the car off to his friends. Surprisingly, his friends were considerably less enthusiastic. Singer Eartha Kitt allegedly told Dean, “I don’t like this car; it’s going to kill you.” And British actor Alec Guinness also remarked to Dean upon seeing the car that it was “sinister” and that if he drove it he would be dead within the week. The first race Dean intended to compete in after filming Giant was to take place in Salinas, California. Dean headed up the day before with his entourage, originally intending to tow Little Bastard behind his station wagon but instead deciding to drive up in the car himself. This was supposedly so Dean could figure out the quirks of driving Little Bastard, which had in fact suffered minor bumps and dents in the days leading up to the crash. At about 5:30pm, as Dean was driving west along U.S. Route 466, a black and white Ford Tudor cut across Dean’s path while making a turn from the oncoming lane. Riding with Dean was his mechanic, Rolf Wütherich, who alleged Dean’s last words to be: “That guy’s gotta stop… he’ll see us.” Wütherich was thrown from the car while Dean remained trapped in the crushed Porsche. He was taken to a nearby hospital and pronounced dead at 5:59pm.

George Barris, who customised the car, immediately bought it with the intent of dismantling it for parts. It was then that things started getting weird... Upon delivery to Barris’ garage, the car came loose from its supports and broke a mechanic’s leg. Parts from the car were then sold to racing enthusiasts Troy McHenry and William Eschrid. In a race the following year, McHenry was killed after his car spun out of control and crashed, while Eschrid’s car “locked up” and rolled several times, seriously injuring him. Soon afterwards, the California Highway Patrol asked for the car to be taken on a travelling exhibition. It was taken to a garage in Fresno, where in 1959 a fire broke out. The garage and absolutely everything within was incinerated… all except for the wreckage of Little Bastard. As the exhibition approached Salinas, the truck towing the car lost control, causing the driver to be thrown out. He survived the fall, but Little Bastard fell off the truck and on top of him, killing him instantly. The tour ended in 1960 and the car was loaded onto a train carriage in Florida and sealed shut for transportation to California. When it arrived, the carriage was still sealed, but the car inside had disappeared without a trace, having never been seen since. Perhaps all of this is fevered speculation surrounding the mythos that is James Dean. Or perhaps the car was just a shoddy machine. Regardless, it’s unlikely an answer will be found any time soon, unless the wreckage of the car reappears. Or perhaps that’s for the best, lest more people fall under the curse that is Little Bastard.

Your next dinner

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well ......

Aristotle once said that humans are “rational animals”, and whether you want knowledge for the sake of it, or simply to show off at a dinner party, it’s worth learning about some of the more rational of the animals who have come before us.

Plato

While people before Plato obviously had thoughts, Plato basically invented philosophy. He’s so important that A. N. Whitehead said that the rest of the philosophical tradition can be thought of as “a series of footnotes to Plato.” He was born in Athens and studied under Socrates, whom he adored, and he wrote his philosophy not in standard prose but in the form of ‘Socratic Dialogues,’ or dramas in which different philosophers debate important questions over drinks, at the gymnasium, at a

Thomas Aquinas Aquinas was a Roman Catholic

theologian and is considered the Church’s greatest philosopher. Though well respected eventually, it seems he was picked on at school, where his nickname was “the Dumb Ox” because he was slow in manner and chunky in physique. At the age of nineteen he had resolved to become a Dominican monk, which his family weren’t happy about, so while he was travelling to Rome his brothers kid-

party or on a long walk. Plato hated democracy and thought that society should be run by a group of Philosopher Kings (hardly a very selfless ideological stance) and had some really important, if seemingly wacky ideas such as the Theory of Forms, and the idea that everyone knew everything before they were born and that learning is actually remembering. If you find that the people you’re talking to actually know stuff about Plato and the conversation is going over your head, whip out

napped him and brought him back to his parents’ house where he was held captive for two years. His family threatened and entreated him to give up his Dominican desires, they even went so far as hiring a prostitute to seduce him away from his calling. It didn’t work and they eventually let him go. Aquinas believed you could prove the existence of God from reason alone and came up with five proofs for God, the quinquae viae, which are still debated today. Aquinas was made a saint in 1323.

when

things were always in flux, and is quoted as saying, “It is not possible to step twice into the same river.” He suffered from dropsy, and unable to find a cure, he coated himself in a cow manure mixture and lay in the sun so it could bake hard. After a day of treatment he was dead.

6th Century BC Ephesian

this little gem: Plato was not his real name, but a nickname (stemming from the word platos, which means broad); his real name was Aristocles.

when

philosophy, most people start with Socrates and Plato. But if you’re in the mood to impress, whip out Heraclitus, who is a pre-Socratic philosopher, that is, he came before Socrates.Heraclitus was born in Ephesus to a wealthy, ruling family, and was an exceptionally unpleasant person. Hippolytus said that Heraclitus “asserted that he himself knew everything, whereas the rest of mankind nothing.”

Charming.So much did Heraclitus hate everyone that he withdrew from society and took to roaming the mountains eating grass,. He wrote a philosophical work called On Nature, which has not survived, except in fragments in the works of others. It is thought that his book was largely made up of little proverbs and that Heraclitus made it deliberately difficult to understand so that none but the “already competent” could understand it. Heraclitus believed that

427-347 BC Greek

When someone objected during his canonization process that there were no miracles in his life (to qualify as a saint, you are meant to have performed miracles), one of the cardinals answered, “there are as many miracles in his life as articles in his Summa.”

WHEN

When chroniHeraclitus cling the progression of Western

1225-1274 Italian

written by Kate Wilcox

party conversation but not too wisely. 'Q': W. Somerset Maugham. British playwright & novelist

subject: Philosophers from a long time ago

Martin Heidegger

Heidegger was an interesting fellow. Some consider him the greatest philosopher of the 20th century, but for all his brilliance he spent a lot of time in a hut near the Black Forest in Germany, lamenting the state of the modern world. He believed that everyone, philosophers especially, had been hoodwinked by technology and scientific rationality, and that people had forgotten the really important

questions of life: what is the mysterious source of all the things in the world? Why is there something and not nothing? Heidegger told everyone to slow down, think less mathematically and more meditatively, and believed that more people should move to the countryside to spend their days reading the German poet Holderlin. To complicate things drastically, Heidgegger was also a Nazi, (while also having a famous affair with his

comes kind of serious when you apply these ideas to the existence of the human self, which he did, to everyone’s irritation. Despite this, Hume was famously winsome. The philosopher John Passmore said that Hume was such a nice guy that “If I were to be invited to a celestial dinner party for philosophers, David Hume is the philosopher I should choose to sit next to.”

WHEN

sity at the age of 12 (when most started at 14), because his mother, who raised him alone after his father’s death, thought he was “uncommonly wake-minded.” This pronouncement turned out to be more than simply maternal bias, and Hume is touted as the most important philosopher to write in English. He was a key influence on Immanuel Kant, Adam Smith, Charles Darwin and Jeremy Bentham. Hume was very big on skepticism, and believed that all truth was unattainable and the real world, if there even was a real world, is unknowable. He had some interesting if a little weird-sounding

ideas. For instance he introduced the controversial Bundle Theory, which argues that features of objects are all that exist, and there is no actual object of which they are features. Sound confusing? Imagine a basketball – it’s round, orange, hard and bouncy. These are not the basketball itself, but properties of the ball. Bundle theory suggests there is no object under those properties, that is, you cannot imagine a basketball except by imagining something that is round, orange, hard and bouncy. This might seem like a slightly irritating intellectual exercise, the kind that might make you want to throw a basketball at Hume’s head, except it be-

1711-1776 Scottish

Jewish student Hannah Arendt) and there is a great deal of debate about whether you can separate his philosophy from his politics, or whether you should disregard his thinking in its entirety.

when

David Hume A precocious child, young David started univer-

1889-1976 German

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Quick FOKE written by Simon Masterton

Youtube Soup: 5 Varieties Revealed

YOUTUBE SOUP CONOISSEUR SIMON MASTERTON CONDUCTED GROUND BREAKING RESEARCH IN EARLY 2013 AND HAS JUST RELEASED HIS FINDINGS TO FOKE MAGAZINE.

aybe it says something about my generation, but I can think of nothing better than laying in bed on a cold winter’s afternoon, a packet of Doritos in hand, and viewing the hilarious happenings of my fellow Youtubers (conducting ground breaking research). When I applied my passion and connoisseur-ial skill for soup to the world of Youtube, it allowed me to discover there was actually 5 varieties of Youtube content. Here are my findings:

EMBARRASSING BLOOPERS number 5

SURVEY RESULTS

FOKE took to the cafes of Sydney to survey cafe patrons on which Youtube soup variety they love to hate. There is clearly a stand-out result winner (or loser) - depending on how you look at it.

YOUTUBE SOUP

Coming in at Number Five is a genre of Youtube soup that has had audiences laughing – TV presenters crying – for decades, long before the video-sharing forum was born. The blooper, typically involving the serious, professional context of a news bulletin or sports broadcast being destroyed by a basic human stuff-up, demonstrates how much pleasure we really take in other people’s misfortunes. Personal favourites include Soccer Reporter Gets Hit In Head With Soccer Ball, Seven News’ AAMI Park reporter… Amy Parks and The Single Best Thing To Ever Be Put On The Internet, Zombie Kid Likes Turtles. Hours spent viewing such videos on repeat are often wellspent, and thoroughly enjoyable ones.

FELINE FUNNIES POLITICAL PARODIES CHOREOGRAPHIES KIDS COMEDIES BLOOPERS

political parodies kids comedies number 4

number 2

Relying on a similar concept to the embarrassing blooper – that there’s nothing funnier than a serious situation being destroyed by something stupid – political parodies, I believe, represent the political values of many. Asylum-seekers? Boring. Carbon tax? Couldn’t care less. But show me Barack Obama dancing to Sexy and I know It and I’ll be entertained for hours. They offer insights to sides of our beloved leaders that we otherwise would never see – how else would we have learned about Kim Jong Il’s legacy before he died (I’m a Korean), or of Kevin Rudd’s extreme hostility towards Julia Gillard (Rudd & Gillard – Somebody That I Used To Know)? A deserved Number Four and a useful way of determining who to vote for in upcoming elections..

It’s Australia’s Funniest Home Videos, minus the tacky sound effects. In the seven years since the birth of Youtube, we have seen the evolution of the child home video from treasured recordings of family memories into works of comic genius. The cockney-toddler pronunciation of “Charlie, that really hurt!” will ring a bell in most viewers’ minds (Charlie Bit My Finger, another viral hit), and who can forget the spaced-out David, following a therapeutic visit to the dentist (David After Dentist)? Combine it with Number Three on our list to create something like Nicki Minaj – Super Bass By Sophia Grace Brownlee, and you’re armed with more than enough material to bring the house down at your child’s twenty-first.

webcam choreographies

feline funnies

number 3 This is where the Youtube slogan of “Broadcast yourself” really shows its worth. Showing us all how quickly inhibitions can disappear if you sit someone on a swivel chair and push them in front of a webcam, many a work-life reputation has been destroyed – or enhanced – following some terrible singing, horrendous dance moves and, occasionally, the exposed male breast. Thanks to Youtube, we now live in a world of shameless singers and dancers; a world we simply could not have imagined during more conservative times of the past. While ‘Okay Go’s’ treadmill-based hit ‘Here It Goes Again’ presents a technical and well-prepared example of such choreography, I feel it is simply outclassed by Numa Numa, the second-most viewed video of all time, created by a boy who simply didn’t care what the world thought.

number 1 My all-time favourite genre of Youtube clip. Sitting atop their respective pedestals, where they so rightly belong, are none other than our feline friends. It simply cannot be disputed that the best thing about Youtube is the cat videos. I can’t be sure why cats get so much more coverage than their canine counterparts – but something tells me it’s in their smugness. The way they hold their heads up high, act so damned confident while prancing along the edge of that balcony, before failing to leap onto the next one and hilariously falling out of sight (Kitty Corliss “Grinding the Crack”). It’s the philosophical views of the world presented by Henri in Henri 2, Paw de Deux, the simple tumble off the lounge in Taylor Swift’s Cat Fail. It seems clear that this genre deservedly takes the cake (give Hayvan trying to eat cake a squiz). 39

FOKE Hopeless Romantics Column written by THE HOPELESS ROMANTICS Mitchell Neave & Chelsea Anstee

dultery. Don’t commit it. We can’t

obbies. Take up a hobby together. Practice a magic show or try sabotaging local council meetings.

stress this enough. Serious ramifications for you and your catch.

oard games. Nothing reveals the true colours of your date like a cut-throat game of Scrabble.

ontraception. See letter K.

ancing. If your partner wants to dance, then get booty poppin’. Take one for the team and you might just enjoy yourself.

elcome to the column with the answer to every question you have about love.

The first gem of wisdom we’ve prepared for all you hopeless romantics is an A-Z directory of relationship etiquette, growth and maintenance.

asy. Don’t let this describe you on your first date.

ood. Cultivate your love through a shared passion for foods.

nsect homicide. Someone’s got to be the hero.

argon. Whilst we don’t recommend inventing entirely unique language conventions, sharing a few made-up words can’t hurt.

ids. Not something to talk about on the first date unless you have them, in which case use sparingly.

Is for the way you look at me. Sing it to your loved one. Always works a treat.

onkey. Why not adopt one? Bond over your new pet monkey. Raise it like a child.

enetics. Check the parents out for a snapshot of your future partner.

We get it. You’re lonely. You’re casting your line out. You’re using your very best (probably expensive) bait but alas, not even a nibble. Perhaps you’ve already snagged your snapper, but you need a hand reeling it in. That’s what we’re here for.

o. You can’t legally adopt a monkey.

ver. If you’re going to call it off knowing you’ll get back together next week, leave Facebook out of it.

hilosophical discussions. Ask your loved one if they think anything really exists or is everything we see a manifestation of our own cognitions. See where it takes you.

uirkiness. It’s not necessarily a bad thing that your partner snores really loudly. It’s just what makes them, them, right?

ylyl bromide. This is a highly toxic compound used in chemical warfare since World War I. Stay clear if you think you’ve found the one.

ellow. by Coldplay. If you’re not sure what to say, let Chris Martin do it for you. We hear he’s had some moderate success.

odiac signs. Check for your compatibility early in the piece. It’s a determining factor in every relationship. Nah we’re kidding. For a serious gauge, use the infinitely accurate internet love calculator.

oses. Don’t go with the old fashioned flowers. Buy something unique or useful for your loved one that can remind them of you every day, like a new toothbrush.

acred time. The bathroom is for one person at a time.

elevision shows. Nothing can bring two people closer than a united front of love or hatred for TV characters.

We hope that this directory inspires you to love like never before, but if you still have questions about love and romance we implore you to send them in to FOKE for some personally tailored, real-world advice. hopelessromantics@foke.com.au Mitch & Chelsea.

ltimatums. Don’t make your partner choose between you and their crochet virtuosity, because you probably won’t like the answer.

oicemail. Don’t just leave your name and number. Try leaving an impromptu limerick on your loved one’s answering machine. Caution: use this one sparingly and only after the third date.

aterslides. Will wash away any waning relationship woes.

Sydney FOKE written by Simon Masterton photography by Jeremy Shaw

First Few Rows May Get Wet.. A day in the life of a festival photographer

fter you first set your eyes upon their work, it takes a moment to understand exactly what it is that you’re looking at. When you take in that destructive mosh pit, that guitarist straining in his efforts to get the best out of every last strum, your reaction might be one of interest, curiosity, or satisfaction with a moment captured so perfectly. But it’s what you don’t see that makes a festival photo all the more amazing. It’s the blood. It’s the sweat. And it’s the beers. It’s the beers that the photographer’s been showered in by the time the very first sound-checks have even been made. Sure, there’s slightly more to taking a FOKEworthy photo than many Instagram users might have you believe. No one ever thought it was easy; we understand that ‘the perfect shot’ needs no words – or hashtags – to accompany it. But that millisecond of glory can translate into hours of hard work. Just ask resident FOKE photographer, Jeremy Shaw. (pictured below left)

a photographer photographing photographers

Jeremy Shaw

Sydney based photographer, Jeremy Shaw, turned his camera from the festival bands and festival goers to the festival photographers. He shares these photographs with FOKE and Simon Masterton illustrates in text - 'A Day in the life of a Festival Photographer'.

www.jeremyshaw.com.au

“The days are very fast-paced,” Shaw explains, reflecting upon countless days spent lugging thousands of dollars worth of equipment around festivals of all shapes and sizes.” “You’ll normally have a long list of bands to tick off and with the big crowds and loud music, it’s a fight to get from one stage to the other in a short amount of time. It’s three songs and you’re done— if you’re lucky.” And that’s perhaps the reason that festival photography isn’t every photographer’s cup of tea. It’s a whole different ball game— essentially a challenge to take out all the stress and fatigue and isolate the energy of the moment itself. As with any art form, however, that’s not necessarily something one picks up on their first day.

So it’s the night before your first festival job..... You’ve done the hard yards, you’ve built a reputation and you’ve managed to score a media pass to the event. You’ve spent an hour of your life compiling a complex schedule for the day, which should allow you to photograph all the bands that are going to be expected by the publication you’re working with.

You’ve gathered together the absolute bare essentials – three lenses, two camera bodies, a flash and a handful of memory cards – and you’ve set your alarm bright and early so you can be in the front row for the day’s opening act. But as every festival-goer has at some point learned the hard way, days like these simply never go perfectly to plan, regardless of how organised you are. 43

Quick FOKE written by Samantha Jonscher photographs courtesy City of Sydney

The Food Van Revival Sydney's streets play host to } gourmet food vans

Agap茅 Organic

Organic tapas, spelt pizza and sweet delights

Cantina Mobil

Slow-cooked Mexican and non-alcoholic sangria

Eat Art Truck

Progressive street food fused with captivating street art

The Veggie Patch

Fresh veggie burgers, falafels, smoothies and juices

Tsuru

Sydney interpretation of Asian street food in small bites

Al Carb贸n

North Mexican charcoal flamegrilled & spit roasted meats

{

Bite Size Delights

Traditional Maltese pastizzi, baked freshly on site

Lets Do Yum Cha

Handmade daily using local ingredients

}

Urban Pasta

Freshly cooked pasta with authentic sauces

ew York has them, Berlin has them, Los Angeles, Bangkok and London have them. Now, so does Sydney. It’s been a year since food trucks started roaming our streets and the city is better for it.

Sydney has long been the destination of those in search of nature, surf and sun. But recently, with the help of Lord Mayor Clover Moore, the city is joining the ranks as a high-profile cultural destination. Last March the City of Sydney took the hottest eateries in town and made them mobile, creating a fleet of gourmet food to service Sydney-siders’ ever discerning taste buds… at all hours.

The food van revival continued.

Moore launched the trucks as a part of her Sydney2030 initiative. The campaign is focused on investing in Sydney’s future and a late night economy is high on the priority list. Moore believes the trucks will boost Sydney’s culinary scene and push it into the bracket of other high-profile late night cities.

The nine food trucks roam all over the city and inner west- no longer is Maccas your only late night option. And what options they are. On any given night you may find Mexican at Sydney University, Yum Cha at The Opera House, Japanese in Centennial Park or Vegetarian at Town Hall.

But for Sydney’s citizens, the global esteem hardly seems to matter. Where ever you are for a night on the town, all it takes is a simple glance at your Sydney Food Truck app (Iphone and Android compatible) to find the nearest truck to you.

Sure there are no tables or chairs or a roof if it rains, but the trucks have brought Sydney’s people to the sidewalks and Sydney’s lifestyle to the world. For a real-time location map go to sydneyfoodtrucks.com.au.

Sydney FOKE written by Jack West

Two Amigos: Rode & Stephanie

antina Mobil started it's engine on Boxing Day 2011, serving it up to hungry amigos on the streets of Sydney. Co-owners Rode Vella & Stephanie Raco, hospitality veterans with a combined 22 years’ experience (and former owners of ‘in situ’ Manly), decided that if they returned to the industry, takeaway food would be the way forward. They’re now enjoying a life on the road - bringing their unique Mexican Street Food to the streets of Sydney. Always on the move, Cantina's posse traverses the CBD & Greater Sydney, beaches, public & private events. Cantina HQ is the fixed premise where hungry Amigos can drop by and enjoy some Mexican street fare (cnr Crown & Oxford Sts Darlinghurst), but the Cantina Mobil was proudly the first to roam and bring 'street feasting' to the forefront of this city's food landscape. For a real-time location map go to sydneyfoodtrucks.com.au.

FOKE Flashback written by Jack West

The 50's Classic Film Guys & Dolls

released in 1955 Guys & Dolls was produced by Samuel Goldwyn Productions and distributed by MGM. based on a Damon Runyon story, 'The Idyll of Miss Sarah Brown.'

it was first a stage musical in 1950. The original production ran at the 46th Street Theatre for 1,200 performances. cast

(pictured in top left and b&w - L to R)

marlon brando April 3, 1924 – July

1, 2004 (cast as Sky Masterson) - has been mentioned in more lyrics than any other actor: Vogue - Madonna, Advertising Space - Robbie Williams, China Girl - David Bowie, We Didn’t Start the Fire - Billy Joel... just to name a few.

jean simmons January 31, 1929 – January 22, 2010 (cast as Sister Sarah Brown) - was most famous for her starring roles in ‘Great Expectations’ and ‘Spartacus’.

frank sinatra December 12, 1915 – May

14, 1998 (cast as Nathan Detroit) - the song title “The Best is Yet to Come” is engraved on his tombstone. Ironically it was also the last song he sang in public, at the age of 79.

vivian blaine November 21, 1921 –

December 9, 1995 (cast as Miss Adelaide) although most famous for her role in Guys & Dolls, she acted in more than 20 other films and musicals and guest starred on ‘Fantasy Island’, ‘Murder She Wrote’, ‘Love Boat’ and ‘Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman’.

plot is essentially based on the activities of

New York petty criminals and professional gamblers in the late 1940s. Nathan Detroit and Sky Masterson bet that Masterson cannot seduce a beautiful missionary named Sarah Brown. While Sky woos Sarah, Nathan has his hands full with his longtime fiancee Miss Adelaide, who has run out of patience. The story explores love, trust, and whether people are capable of changing. 49

Even if the deodorant

says 8 hour ’4

protection

’

go just and ahead

put some on every

day

Always read the

fine print Est. 2012

FOKE L

AE | LORE

Sex, Flamenco Dan Wr i t e r s h ave t o l i ve c r a z y l i ve s o r e l s e t h e y ’ d h ave n o t h i n g t o w r i t e a b o u t . . We all know that some writers are crazier than others. Some of the more bizarre ones appear to have lived in 20th century America, where they wrote some of the best modern literature. But to gain a real insight into their work, shouldn’t we find out about their lives first? Here’s some of their stories:

anais nin

was born in 1903 and died in 1977, aged 73. It is revealed in her diaries that she had an incestuous relationship with her father during her childhood. Her parents split in the ‘10s and she moved to New York with her mother. After leaving school, she worked as an artist’s model in the ‘20s, and married her first husband in 1923. When they moved to France, she trained as a flamenco dancer and begun to write. It was there she had her fling with Miller.

William S. Burroughs was born in 1914 and died aged 83 in 1997. He was an inspiration and friend to writers like Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg (American writers all knew each other, can you imagine?) Kerouac called him the “greatest satirical writer since Jonathan Swift.” His use of semi-autobiographical style, in line with Miller, have come to influence new writers, as well as his conception of the literary cut-up technique where one pastes together cut-up words and phrases.

his ‘obscene’ sexual subject matter. Tropic of Cancer, as well as his following novels were banned as they contained extended and in-depth descriptions of his sexual exploits. People managed to smuggle them from Europe into the United States, making Miller an underground hero. And he could write; in the words of George Orwell, “[Miller] is the only imaginative prose-writer of the slightest value who has appeared among the English-speaking races for some After moving back to New York with her husband, she began a long-term romantic dalliance with a former actor who was sixteen years her junior. They moved to California and lived together for the rest of her life. They married in 1955, even though she had not divorced her first husband. Now, we know that Nin wrote about her sexual antics (people study her work for traces of Miller). Her diaries, her novels and her shorter pieces of erotica are evocative and tantalising in

When travelling in Europe in the ‘30s, Burroughs began to explore the homosexual impulses he’d been harbouring since boarding school. These are chronicled in his second novel, Queer. There he married Ilse Klapper so she could migrate to the US. While living in New York in the ‘40s, he became a heroin addict, drawing upon this experience for his first novel, Junky. He was arrested for forging a narcotics prescription and went home to St Louis to live with his parents. His third novel,

years past… he is a completely negative, unconstructive, amoral writer, a mere Jonah, a passive acceptor of evil, a sort of Whitman among the corpses.” His evocative intertwining of truth and fantasy, and his erotic writing, influenced generations, including the Beats.

Read

was born in 1891 and died aged 88 in 1980. Although he was married, he became Anais Nin’s lover during the ‘30s. Think about it: two famous authors, both renowned for their ability to write a) beautiful prose, b) thinly-veiled autobiography, and c) literary smut. Nin paid for his livelihood in Paris, and even for the first printing of his first novel, Tropic of Cancer.Miller was also a controversial figure because of

Tropic of Cancer, Tropic of Capricorn

that they explore female sexuality and lust- which had not previously been dealt with in classic literature- through the use of beautiful prose. Delta of Venus is a collection of the short erotic stories she wrote when in the ‘40s, desperate for money, she would write for an anonymous collector for a dollar a page.

Read

henry miller

written by Hannah Story

Delta of Venus, A Spy in the House of Love

The Naked Lunch, was banned and reviewed in court due to its subject matter, including sodomy and homosexual themes. Oh and he killed his second wife. Yes, he was charged with manslaughter for killing Joan Vollmer during a drunken game of ‘William Tell’ (shooting an apple of the top of her head) at a party in Mexico.

Read

ncing & Murder

Junky, The Naked Lunch

FOKE Music written & photographed by Hannah Hawkins

Avaberee The acappella pop trio

aunting and ethereal are descriptive words used far too often in music reviews, but there’s just something about three young adult girls using only their raw vocals to carry an entire song – I can’t help but call it haunting and ethereal. Avaberee are three giggly, talented 20-year-olds. I had the pleasure of meeting them when they were on tour in Sydney recently. Aimee, Genevieve and Irena met in high school; there they started writing songs and mashed their nicknames together to create Avaberee. They’ve played a bunch of gigs in their hometown, Brisbane, and recently supported Matt Corby and Emma Louise, even though they’ve only been on the music scene for two years. Their swift success may be due to the fact that they’re one of very few who play acappella-style pop music– they may be the only ones doing it so magnificently at such a young age. Despite their young age, the songstresses aren’t studio-shy; the past few months have been spent recording with Matthew Redlich from Ball Park Music and Emma Louise as they work on their soon-to-be-released 2013 EP. They teased us with their debut single ‘Lover of Mine’ in October last year. When it was

performed live, they used their signature acoustic and acappella vocal style; the recorded version is a lot bigger. The effect of a producer is recognisable as their material online is largely unedited. In the studio, they’re able to speed up the rhythm and throw in some more pop elements. It’s this recording, with a little help from Matt Corby fans, that led to them being up for a spot in Triple J’s Hottest 100. Another reason this all girl act is a little on the unique side is the absence of a defiant mosh pit. It can be exhausting to attend live shows where the crowd spills $5 beers on each other while screaming over the top of snare drums. That’s why seeing Avaberee silence an entire audience and fill the room with warm harmonies and finger clicks (the naturalness only broken by Lysiuk’s subtle guitar and the bad strobe light) is a refreshing live music moment – especially for gigs in the back of loud city bars. Performing an intimate set on a slippery dance floor is no small feat, and their ability to master it so quickly is impressive.

They silence an entire audience & fill the room with warm harmonies & finger clicks.

www.facebook.com/avaberee www.youtube.com/user/avaberee www.twitter.com/avaberee Bookings/Gigs katie@sidekickmanagement.com.au

Introducing Aimee Cavanagh, Genevieve Bufalino & Irena Lysiuk as

Avaberee

(aye-va-ber-ee)

FOKE Chix on 6 Feature written by Jack West

Chix on

FEATURE STORY

PROFILE Christian Kieffer : The man behind the image FOKE journalist Jack West, chats with the photographer behind the romance of Jessica's photo shoot and the Warbird Pin Up Girl Calendars.

FOKE Chix on 6 Feature

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worse probably

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be late

until you

show up Est. 2012

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AE | LORE

PROFILE Christian Kieffer : The man behind the image

hristian Kieffer is a photographer with studios in Daytona Beach, Florida. He is well known in the film industry in Hollywood and is considered to be a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;scholar of the imageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Inspired by the beautiful women painted on the bow of their flying machines, along with a passion for airplanes, Christian has produced The Warbird Pin Up Girl Calendars that have been popular across the world. The popularity of these tasteful images has even prompted the production of an exciting reality tv show. All eyes are usually on the stunning models he photographs, but FOKE caught up with Christian to focus on the man behind the image.

FOKE Chix on 6 Feature

When Christian was 8 years old his father took him to an air show featuring WWII aircraft. He was shocked and amazed by the awesome sounds these machines made when they started up and taxied down the runway and lifted into the sky. When they returned home he could not stop thinking about being a WWII fighter pilot, buzzing across the treetops and lighting up his 50 cals on the enemy. He was hooked. Christian and his father would build all the scale models and learn all the designs and lines of the aircraft - down to every rivet. He can recognize any spotter card you put in front of him and the nose art of the pretty girls they painted on their aircraft constantly fascinated him.

His work features some of the finest examples of operational WWII aircraft left flying. In addition he selects models that are very reminesint of the 1940s pinup girls and places them together for beautiful photography. He works closely with the models and choreographers to train the girls in classic poses that make pinups so special. The images are clean and innocent, whilst still being edgy and sexy. In these days of over exploitation of the female body, his audience has embraced the ‘Pinup Girl’ that shows just enough but also leaves something to the imagination.

He hopes to bring a sense of class and respect back to today’s ladies, by looking into the past, when all things were portrayed as more romantic and classy.

FOKE Chix on 6 Feature

With the release of Warbird’s 2013 calendar, he focused on the real star of the war, the P-51 Mustang. He obtained unfettered access to some outstanding aircraft for this special edition. Mustang owners are a breed apart and take pride in being apart of this elite club of aircraft owners. In addition to having some amazing Mustangs for his pinup shots he managed to obtain the “one of a kind” modified P-51 Mustang, “Precious Metal”. This unlimited class Reno air racer is a plane like no other. The Mustang has been transformed into a racing plane with duel counter rotating props and a 3000-horse power Griffon power plant. “Precious Metal” has been honored as the fastest prop driven aircraft in the world at over 675 MPH. This all chrome monster is also very photogenic. Christian placed one of his stunning pinup girls with this unique beauty and produced some of his best work.

The new 2013 calendar is available for purchase online (along with phone covers and postcards) at www.warbirdpinups.com 63

Quick FOKE written & photographed by Tara Whyley

Nevera

Road Trip .. to Boot Hill.

or woman

location Allyn River, Gresford. Gresford is a village in the Hunter Valley region of New South Wales, in the beautiful Dungog Shire.

choose wingman

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and save lunch on buying

tomorrow Est. 2012

FOKE L

AE | LORE

distance from sydney Approximately 200km.

a leisurely drive up a dusty road along the Allyn River, Gresford NSW, hundreds of boots and shoes hang on a long stretch of fence that surrounds acres of picturesque farm land.

For years, the locals and passers by have been adding to this quirky collection that continues to grow in character every year.

Boot Hill, or Boothill, is the name for any number of cemeteries, chiefly in the American West. During the 19th century it was a common name for the burial grounds of gunfighters, or those who “died with their boots on”.

"Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got." - Sophia Loren

FOKE Master Columnist

The real

troubleis

THE MASTER COLUMNIST Simon Masterton

When Bogans Meet Balmainians ...

with reality

's there that no background

music

Going to

church 't make doesn

you a Christian than any more

standing

in a

garage you makes

a car Est. 2012

FOKE L

AE | LORE

t’s no secret that there’s something special about Sydney.

Unlike other population centres around the globe, I think our beloved town is mostly unique in its unity. The separation – or lack thereof – between the wealthy, and the slightly less-wealthy.

When two blokes from Sydney’s south-western suburbs rock up to a friend’s three-storey harbourside Balmain home in footy shorts and singlets, something special happens. It’s a chemical reaction, of sorts, that occurs only when the two socioeconomic polar opposites come together within the same great city. It’s the lower half and the other half, taking a dip in the same dramatically positioned, solar-heated pool, having a beer – or not drinking at all, if alcohol at twelve o’clock on a Monday afternoon isn’t a common practice in your upperclass household – on the same balcony, taking in the same million-dollar views of the same town that both groups call home. I like to call it The Masterton Effect, because it seems to happen whenever I meet with friends in slightly more expensive areas. And to me, it’s beautiful.

..... the Masterton Effect

The Masterton Effect is the emotional rollercoaster experienced when a bogan (that would be me, by comparison) enters the glorified domain of the wealthy, and vice versa. It’s perhaps not a common experience, but one which every lower-socioeconomic dweller strives for – one which every eccentric millionaire usually tries to avoid. The results, however, can be quite enjoyable for all.

The all-important first impressions are arguably the best.

The moment when your guest strolls right on into the hallway (without removing his dirty Dunlop Volleys first – how dare he!), provides you with a grubby peck on the cheek and loudly announces that he’ll need to use the laundry fridge in which to store his six-pack. It’s the moment you remember what side of town that Simon Masterton kid and his buddy are both from. The moment you begin to roll your eyes at his ill-mannered behaviour, and begin to question why on Earth he’s so keen to ascend the stairs, pull open the fly-screen door and crack open a Victoria Bitter on the balcony. That’s the first step in this odd experience: bemusement.

Step Number Two of The Masterton Effect is condescendence – or envy, depending on which end of the wealth scale you sit. Your visitors are now kicking back on your previously clean outdoor lounge, exclaiming that “this must have cost a fortune at Bunnings.” They’re pulling lame jokes about what amazing acts they might perform off the balcony if they lived there, and they’re asking you if you’ve ever attempted to use the railing as a diving platform for the pool (you haven’t, you’re not an idiot). All the while you’re sitting patiently on your favourite deck chair, an iced coffee in one hand and a bottle of moisturising sunscreen in the other, applying no less than once every fifteen minutes and frequently scoffing at your regrettable guest’s incredible levels of immaturity. The hours roll on. The boys have made their way into the pool (via the stairs, not the balcony railing, thanks to some very persistent advice on your part), downed both of their six-packs, and the novelty of playing Marco Polo with two far-from-sober people has long worn off.

Yet still they sit on the edge of your pool, splashing you, your friend and each other as if they’ve never seen water in their twenty-something years in the suburbs. You’re hinting that they may just have overstayed their welcome, you’re frequently asking your friend for the time and you’re exclaiming that you “have to be at the gym soon” (you don’t), but these boys simply don’t understand. It’s at this point that one of them makes the passing comment “Wow, that quiche (you definitely didn’t have quiche for lunch, you had pastisties) really didn’t sit well with my beers, I think I need to–” and that’s when you decide to kick them out.

Which perfectly demonstrates the third and final stage of the so-called Masterton Effect. Complete and utter disgust. Come to think of it, perhaps it was only my good mate Cam and I who appreciated the beauty of that day in Balmain. Maybe Olivia and Luca, the two wealthy friends that we (apparently) had met through a New Year’s Eve experience, didn’t find the experience quite as elegant or as tasteful as they might have hoped; as classy as they’re used to. They might have found it funny that we spent ten minutes completely enthralled by this thing they called “filtered water,” and they might have been somewhat offended when we referred to Olivia’s newly-renovated lavatory as “the can.” But you know what? They still refrained from telling Jeeves the butler to remove us from the premises, and not once did they make the call to “release the hounds.”

It’s such acceptance, I believe, that defines exactly what us Sydneysiders are all about. Okay, they didn’t have a butler called Jeeves – that was a blatant lie. The butler’s name was Dennis or something; I can’t remember. But my point about my hospitable, incredibly tolerant friends still stands. So next time a bogan invites themself around to your place for lunch, don’t think twice. Oh, and make sure there’s plenty of room in the spare fridge. It might just make their day. 67

FOKE Top Picks

throw flags they on plays

. didn’t see

80’s & 90’s Television Will any other era stack up?

he sterling success of shows like Mad Men, Homeland and Downton Abbey has inspired a new Golden Age of television. But judging by the endless reruns on free-to-air stations, the 80s and 90s is where the TV magic truly lies. What made the shows of the 80s and 90s so memorable? Well, the proliferation of double denim for starters...

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number 1

CheeRS number 2 Ted Danson’s luscious hair as bartender Sam is one of many reasons why Cheers is an all-time classic. Cheers ran for eleven seasons from 1982-1993 and was set in a legendary bar “where everyone knows your name.” Sam’s multiple (and often misguided) attempts to woo Diane are hilarious, and my admiration of wisecracking waitress Carla (Rhea Perlman) is unparalleled. Cheers inspired Kelsey Grammer’s spinoff Fraiser, a hit show of the 90s.

SURVEY RESULTS

Est. 2012

Baywatch

FOKE took to the cafes of Sydney to survey cafe patrons on their favourite 80’s / 90’s TV shows. The three top votes have been graphed accordingly.

I shall keep my summary of Baywatch as er, brief, as their swimwear. Pamela Anderson. Red swimsuit. Slow motion. An era when a shirtless David Hasselhoff inhabited the beach, rather thannumber a Las Vegas 5 hotel room with a cheeseburger.

FAMILY TIES number 3 The initial pitch for the 80s sitcom was “hip parents, square kids”. What could a young Republican like Alex (Michael J. Fox) agree upon with his liberal, ex-hippy parents Elyse and Steven Keaton? Family Ties articulated the changes sweeping America in number 5 the Reagan era and examined family relationships during this period. Michael J Fox is as charming and sharp witted as ever, winning three consecutive Emmy Awards for his role.

80’S & 90’S TV

’t Refs don

written by Winsome Walker

90210 SEINFELD FRIENDS OTHERS WASN’T BORN

THE COSBY SHOW

the fresh prince of belair

number 4 The ultimate sitcom of the 80s, The Cosby Show was a ratings bonanza, a critical success and family favourite. The series aired from 1984-1992 and was inspired by Bill Cosby’s stand-up act. The Huxtable family featured Dr Cliff Huxtable, his attorney wife Clair, their five children, plus the one and only Raven-Symoné of That’s So Raven fame (I’m a bit of a Raven fangirl). The true brilliance of The Cosby Show was its ability to confront race and class issues whilst remaining a wholesome comedy. Also, if you haven’t seen Jimmy Fallon’s Bill Cosby impression, get to it!

seinfeld number 5 Seinfeld stands the test of time with its idiosyncratic wit, intertwined storylines and seductive slap bass. The series has seeped into my subconscious, influencing my daily life. The ‘Soup Nazi’ episode has left me proclaiming, “No soup for you!” whenever I make a Cup-a-Soup. After a few drinks, I love to whip out Elaine’s heelclicking, thumb-pointing dance moves. Seinfeld lives on through the parody twitter account ‘Modern Seinfeld’(@SeinfeldToday) which reimagines the characters in the 21st century. Eg. @SeinfeldToday: “George goes crazy trying to decipher the fact that a pretty woman “liked” his Facebook status. Elaine is kicked out of a movie for texting.”

21 jump street number 6 A young, broody Johnny Depp. ‘Nuff said.

number 9

beverly hills 90210 melrose place dawson’s creek

number 7 Need a crash course in 90s fashion, teen dating and how to act like an entitled, stuck-up ingrate? The zipcode 90210 is a great place to start. Beverly Hills, 90210 spanned a remarkable ten seasons (1990-2000) and was ratings gold. I shudder to think how many drooling school girls transformed their lockers into shrines to Jason Priestly and Luke Perry. In 1992, the primetime soap Melrose Place was born. So many midriff tops! Dawson’s Creek debuted in 1998, launching the careers of Katie Holmes, James Van Der Beek and Michelle Williams. These 90s dramas never shied away from dark territory like abortion, bulimia and drug abuse, charting the highs (literally) and lows of teen life.

the golden girls number 8 2012 brought us Lena Dunham’s HBO hit show Girls. But of course, before Girls there was The Golden Girls. The groundbreaking series celebrated four talented, warm and funny leading ladies (including Betty White!) in roles outside of a family setting. I like to think of The Golden Girls as the original Girls Gone Wild. Four hot, single women (three widows and a divorcee) sharing a house in Miami.

“Now this is a story all about how ""My life got flipped, turned upside down...” Join in if you know the words! I bet you do. The opening credits of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air feature popping neon colours, snap back hats, and of course, a walkman. The rags to riches sitcom followed Will from the streets of West Philadelphia to a Bel Air mansion. The six seasons of Fresh Prince had a tonne of humour and a whole lot of heart, plus the multitalented Will Smith.

home improvement number 10 Whilst Tim Allen can never be forgiven for The Shaggy Dog and Wild Hogs, he is fondly remembered as Tim “the Toolman” Taylor in Home Improvement. Tim passions include power tools, hot rods, shirking responsibility and indulging in his trademark grunt. One of the greatest mysteries of the 1990s was the true identity of Tim’s neighbour Wilson, a man forever obscured by fence palings.

the honorable mentions Alf, Diff’rent Strokes, Saved By The Bell, Roseanne, The Nanny, Friends, Miami Vice, The Dukes of Hazard, Dallas, Chips, Little House on the Prairie, Dynasty, Magnum PI, Hart to Hart, The Love Boat, Falcon Crest, Knots Landing, The Wonder Years, The A-team, Growing Pains, The Fall Guy, L.A Law, Matlock, Married with Children, Knightrider, Fame, Eight is Enough, Mork and Mindy, The Incredible Hulk and The Greatest American Hero. Oh.. I almost forgot the Flintstones.

FOKE Music written by Peter McAlpine

The Tide & Time of Tim Finn

im Finn has had an exceptional career. Last year, the New Zealand singer/ songwriter turned 60, while also celebrating the 40th anniversary of the formation of his band, Split Enz. Even after all this time, he’s still playing shows and festivals. The crowd keeps him going.

“When I play a festival there are people there of all ages, many of whom have never seen me play. So I try and reach out with mainly well known songs. I mix in a few others that I am currently enjoying playing, try and turn us all into one big throbbing mass of humanity. Between Split Enz and Woodface and my solo work and Finn Brothers albums there are usually enough hits to get the party started, but I never take it for granted.” Finn was originally from the small north island town of Te Awamutu. He says he has been back in recent times, “about five to six years ago. Neil and I played a charity show there.” Split Enz formed back when Finn was at university. The band went on to have such hits as ‘I Hope I Never’, ‘I See Red’ and ‘My Mistake’. They had a particularly strong following in Australia. After leaving New Zealand, Melbourne became a second home. “Our first ever show was in Melbourne supporting Skyhooks and AC/DC at the Festival Hall. I can still remember Bon Scott swinging out over the crowd on a rope, dressed as Tarzan. We were booed off, mainly by the Sharpies of whom Magda Szubanski was one [sic] and has told me belatedly that she secretly liked us. The mid-seventies reefer cabarets are also worth a mention, everyone in the crowd paralytically stoned, Noel Crombie dressed as Santa Claus, rocking his homemade electric guitar.” As with all rock stars, Tim has crossed the globe countless times. So much so that these days he only travels with his wife, Marie Azcona and two children, son, Elliot, and daughter, Harper. “I only like traveling with my family nowadays... although I still do the odd short tour and still love performing. We traveled through the Basque region of France and Spain a while ago. Biarritz is an amazing town: beautiful buildings, great wines and huge surf. I went to Bougainville on a film soundtrack and had never been so far off the grid. Challenging, but rewarding.” Split Enz, in the ‘70s, were thought to be going against the grain, especially when compared to the staples of the Australian pub rock scene, AC/DC and Skyhooks. Critics described them as avant-garde, eccentric and at times, wildly original. But Finn disagrees. “Not really, we were aware of ourselves as all of the above, in some ways reacting against what was going on around us. Of course we eventually found kinship and comradeship with all the bands from that time.” When asked about his legacy, Finn is humble.

“Naturally, the songs... although I still get people coming up with a gleam in their eyes to talk about a gig from 1975 or whatever. We never forget a great live performance.” Split Enz’ greatest success came in 1980 with True Colours and the number one single ‘I Got You’. The album went on to critical acclaim and helped launch the band internationally. After several years trying to build a fan base, this success was a relief.

“It felt like a huge weight was lifting... After struggling for eight years to find our audience we could finally pay our roadies a decent wage and engage with a wildly enthused and energised crowd on a nightly basis, which fed back into the songwriters and pulled us out of ourselves.” Fast forward to 1991 when Finn was asked to join Crowded House. This was when the two brothers had been collaborating on the album Woodface. The album went on to be a huge success, particularly in Australia, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. In just two weeks, the brothers wrote classic songs such as ‘Weather With You’, ‘It’s Only Natural’, ‘Four Seasons in One Day’ and ‘Chocolate Cake’. “The songwriting was definitely memorable, and [at] the gigs we played [as] a semi-acoustic foursome (Neil Finn, Paul Hestor, Nick Seymour) on the promo tour. We knew the songs were good, but you never know how they are going to be received, and here we are, years later, still playing them and enjoying their subtle details.” Finn was asked about the difference in songwriting methods between Neil and himself.

“It’s hard for me to say what differences there are. I know that I can sing a 4th note without including it in the chord and Neil finds that grating. I write the same way I always have done, on a piano or the acoustic guitar. Playing some chords, waiting for a melody, and then a title, or if I’m really lucky a few phrases. Then it’s the finishing that is painstaking and requires craftsmanship and patience. Some songs wait 20 years to get finished, others come in a rush. I definitely don’t believe they are created as an act of will.

There has to be inspiration, and that is everywhere if you open up to it.” Their chemistry has produced two The Finn Brothers albums; both are more experimental than most regular rock offerings. In 1989 he starred in a romance film, shot in Italy, La Donna della Luna (The Moon Woman) and also had small part in the Australian film The Coca Cola Kid. He speaks frankly about his involvement in film. “I acted in an indie New Zealand film a few years back called Predicament. It just seems to come along once every 20 years and that’s fine by me. I love the collaborative nature of filmmaking. Squeezing in beside the director and watching the monitor, getting to know the A.D., the grips, the sound guy... however no plans to get an agent, but if you need me I’m here.” It seems like for Tim Finn, the tides are changing, but that doesn’t mean he’ll stop picking up his trusted acoustic guitar and taking the time to reach out to his score of old and new fans.

Quick FOKE written by Basil Naimet

Frisbee anyone?

n a Monday afternoon stroll in Moore Park I spot a bunch of people scattered and seemingly chasing each other around then leaping into thin air. I’m instantly drawn in. Getting closer to the action my curiosity turns to reasoning. These people are playing frisbee. But it's seemily organised?

Welcome to ultimate Frisbee. I can’t believe how fluent the action is. For a sport that has people running around at a quick rate, the action doesn’t appear strenuous. “The number of people attracted to the sport is growing” says Richard Moore who is President of the Darlinghurst Ultimate Frisbee Federation (DUFF). “The beauty of ultimate Frisbee is people are not just standing- they’re running, they’re chasing”. There’s a social side too. “The teams have a mix of guys and girls, including married couples. A couple were walking past and were curious. They emailed me- they want to take part”. It’s appealing because it’s not rigorous contact, no one’s being jostled for the disc too much”. Ultimate Frisbee is a sport that has no referees who rule on decisions. The players make the calls. It’s sportsmanship that counts in this sport. 72

Strange, a sport with no referees! But it works says Moore. “We call it ‘spirit of the game’. It involves playing fair, being a good sports person, avoiding physical contact and not injuring other players”. ”Australian ultimate Frisbee has approximately 5000 players currently, and we anticipate the number of social players to grow”. We have an elite competition played here on Tuesday evenings, however the social play is where it’s all at”, Moore says. It has grown in leaps and high flying bounds since Richard started playing in 1998. “In the 1990’s there were around 8 teams playing, now there are approximately 16 teams”. The more the merrier for Moore and the Darlinghurst competition. If you’re interested in playing Ultimate Frisbee visit duff.org.au (The Darlinghurst Ultimate Frisbee Federation)

Quick FOKE written by Tara Whyley

Movie Goofs

... for a rainy Sunday

n the last edition we looked at the unfortunate movie goofs that slipped through the cracks in Grease and Jurassic Park. If you missed it you can catch up by visiting foke. com.au to view the emag version. So, what’s in store for you this time? ...A couple of the classics. The first was one of the biggest box office record breakers, ‘Titanic’, and the second is an all time family favourite, ‘The Wizard of Oz’.

THE Titanic Released 1997

Produced by James Cameron

1 In the scene where Jack is preparing to sketch

Rose, it is noticeable that Rose does not open the door herself as she walks out of the dressing room.

2 Leonardo’s stunt double is noticeable in many

shots throughout the film. In the scene where Rose breaks Jack’s handcuffs, you can visibly see the stunt person not wearing suspenders as Jack was just a few seconds prior.

3 The day after Jack saves Rose from jumping off

the back of the ship, they are walking along the promenade. A small hill with a building on it is visible over Jack’s shoulder and above the ship. In the middle of the ocean?

4 After being shot at by Cal, Rose and Jack race down the hallways outrunning the rising water. Rose is wearing white sneakers, yet she is seen two minutes later wearing shoes fit for that era.

5 Later in the film as the ship is breaking apart,

you can see the wires that pull people into the tear on the deck.

6 When Jack and Rose are going down with the

Both of these classics feature gorgeous redheads. One from an era where, if a little cleavage was shown, you would have noses turning up at you in an instant. And the other who decided to flash Leonardo DiCaprio the first time they met after finding out she had to be naked in front of him. That's one way to break the ice.. (no pun intended).

The wizard of OZ Released 1939

TAKE A PHOTO OF THIS PAGE ON YOUR PHONE & enjoy the goofs ON YOUR NEXT RAINY SUNDAY..

Produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

1 In the beginning of the film, while Dorothy is

still on the farm, she walks along the pig pen fence and then falls in. When Bert Lahr removes her from the pen her dress is perfectly clean.

2 During the sequence where Dorothy meets

the Scarecrow, Dorothy’s pigtails are first short (above her shoulders) and as the song progresses her hair gets longer (below her shoulders), then short, and then long again.

3 If you watch closely in a few scenes, above the

lions moving tail, there is a string holding it up, making it move around. You can also see this as the witches monkeys are flying. We can clearly see the string holding their wings to their bodies.

4 As Dorothy skips off on her journey at the very

end of the song 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road', the shot cuts just in time to prevent her hitting the painted backdrop. The join between the ground and the backdrop is visible.

5 When the Wizard says, “Do you presume to

criticize the great Oz?”, a crew member behind the curtain attaches it onto Toto so he can pull it open.

ship, there is a man holding onto the flagpole. The man’s life jacket disappears and reappears. 75 FOKE |

Quick FOKE written by Mitchell Neave

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Lucid Dreaming

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FOKE L

AE | LORE

... Control your dreams ook down at your hand. How many fingers do you have? Now go to the nearest light switch. Flick it. Does it turn on? Pinch yourself. Did you feel that? Are you really awake?

You know you’re conscious right now because you’re thinking about what you’re reading. However, consciousness doesn’t necessarily mean you’re awake. All of these actions are reality checks, part of a necessary procedure for those who wish to harness the power of dreams - a power that anyone can tap into.

For thousands of years, cultures from around the world have endeavoured to interpret and discover the meaning of dreams. In 2010, the movie ‘Inception’ fuelled public interest in dreams by creating a world where they could be invaded and controlled. While there is no evidence supporting claims to an ability to invade other people’s brains (yet), there is genuine scientific grounding for the idea that one can control their own dreams. This phenomenon is referred to as a lucid dream.

Lucid dreams are dreams in which the subject remains asleep but becomes aware that they are dreaming. In some cases, this awareness allows the subject to alter and shape the dream. Whilst this is not an easy skill to master, it appears everyone is capable of learning. In fact, a majority of people have at least one experience of some form of lucidity without even trying. How do you do it, you ask? Unfortunately there is no fail-safe method to mastering lucid dreaming. However, to give it a go all you need is a bit of commitment, a pen and an empty book for your bedside table.

The empty book will serve as your dream journal. Every detail you can remember from your every dream should be recorded immediately upon waking. This will help you to familiarise yourself with any patterns or recurring themes. You can use these patterns to recognise when you’re dreaming. So then every night as you drift off to sleep, think about the last dream you had. Think about yourself in that exact scenario and tell yourself that you will become lucid. And those reality checks from earlier? Practice them. If your body’s

anatomy is wrong or light switches have no effect you can use these signs to recognise you are dreaming, gain consciousness and attain lucidity. It may take weeks, months or years to truly master your dreams, but think of the potential. You can be whoever and whatever you want to be: a wizard, a rapper, or married to Beyoncé. It’s your dream! In a clinical setting, lucid dreaming therapy is being developed with extremely promising results for treatment of nightmares, phobias and even post-traumatic stress disorder. You can even use lucid dreams to practice and improve your social skills or public speaking abilities.

Experience in a dream carries over to real life. With more experience, anxiety is reduced and performance improves. There is an untapped world to explore with lucid dreaming, which is only limited by your imagination. If there a drawback of lucid dreaming it would be the philosophical question, “are we ever truly conscious?” Think about it. Maybe your life at this very moment is all a dream. Perhaps it’s only a matter of time before you open your eyes and wake up to the real world. Think about that for a minute but don’t sleep on it. Who knows who could be tapping into your dreams? Better make the most of this reality and get lucid today! 77

Sydney FOKE written by Jack West

Lining up for ice cream... at the ice cream bar at Manly markets facebook.com/pages/Ice-Cream-Bar-at-Manly-Markets

ucked away in a modest stall at Manly's weekend markets are two entrepenuaial guys, Adam & Mitch, creating ice cream in a most unique fashion, that keeps crowds lining up for more.

What are you current flavour & which are your best sellers? "We wanted to offer a limited menu of flavours that would change weekly depending on what was popular, as well as any new flavours we had come up with. The flavours we launched with were Crunchy Peanut Butter, Nutella and Strawberries, Honey and Popcorn, Candied Bacon and Maple Syrup and Sticky Date Pudding. Since then we have served up some fresh fruit flavours (mango, passion fruit and coconut) as well as Pavlova and a Roasted Marshmallow. So far the most popular were hands down is the Mango and Passion fruit, either separately or together, its such a great way to enjoy fresh fruit on a hot summers day. The ice cream is made to order. The flavours are fully customizable and we encourage our customers to experiement with flavours and tell us what flavours they want to see in the future."

Tell us about your unique manufacturing process.. "Our ice cream is made to order right in front of the customer. Starting with our ice cream base (which is a mixture of milk, cream and sugar) we combine it with a chosen flavour and arm ourselves with our mixing tool (beater drill). At this point the ice cream is still merely a flavoured liquid and this is where the magic comes into play. We like to think of the liquid nitrogen as more of a method than an ingredient, much in the same way a cake is baked in the oven, our ice cream mix is â&#x20AC;&#x153;bathedâ&#x20AC;? in liquid nitrogen, which rapidly chills the cream (nitrogen boils at -200C). As the nitrogen is being added to the mix the beater is used to continually churn, ensuring that the ice cream does not freeze solid and achieves a creamy consistency. Once the nitrogen has evaporated from the mix we are left with the pure, fresh ice cream that is then served straight from the pan." Pictured right Adam Travers (General Manager) & Mitch McLaurin (Bar Manager) 79

Sydney FOKE

written by Jack West

Jeremy & Dan take you back to the fifties

inky Dinks is a small bar in the Sydney suburb of Darlinghurst and a labour of love for two mates, Jeremy Shipley and Dan Knight. Between them they have a wealth of hospitality experience spanning over 20 years, various cities, continents and countries. With an emphasis on approachable wines and fun drinks, Hinky Dinks embodies the enthusiastic spirit of the 1950s cocktail culture. A culture that knew a cocktail wasn’t so much a drink as it was a fashion accessory. And that the Cocktail hour wasn’t so much a time, but more a mood - a defiant stance against the demands of the nine-to-five. It’s all about the difference between a glass of gin with an olive in it, and a Martini. The difference between a passing glance, and an invitation.

HINKY DINKS 185 Darlinghurst Rd Darlinghurst p: 02 8084 6379 hinkydinks.com.au Opening Hours: Monday- Saturday 5pm to midnight. 81

FOKE Top Picks written by Jack West

Always

know where phone your

Baby Names

You may or may not want to consider

he power of a name and its value has long been immortalized in prose, poetry, and religious ceremony. Everyone recognizes himself or herself by name. A question which is often asked .. Does a name influence a person's character? We hope not... see below.

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In June 2008 a couple in Arizona named their son 'Boy'. The nurses at the hospital assumed that this was the interim name - but later protested about the name when they discovered that he was actually named 'Boy'. Their protests were in vain and the baby was christened 'Boy' in January 2009.

Mullet

Mullet Joseph Fronz was born in England in 2010. Many told the parents that (besides the fact they were naming their son after a fish and a bad haircut) the child would end up being nicknamed Mull (which is a common name for marijuana in many countries).

Jolly

Jolly is the son of parents Pam and Robert of Yorkshire, England. He is their fourth son and brother to; HERMAN, COB and NODDY.

J names Est. 2012

FOKE L

AE | LORE

A couple (married for 53 years) in the USA have 12 sons (and 1 daughter - Candice Butter). Each of their names begin with the letter 'J', and each are as unusual as the other; Joff, Jazz, Jock, Jed, Justice, Jale, Jonald, Jaq, Jine, Jordy, Jody and Joker.

Were they on drugs? Party

Party was born August 2001. Her parents had tried to conceive for many years and swore they would throw a party if they ever fell pregnant. (Let's hope that didn't actually happen).

Sherry & Cider

Sherry and Cider are twins born in Western Australia in 2007. Their parents (although thought to have been alcoholics by some) named them after alcoholic beverages because they simply liked the sound of the words/names. They should meet up with 'Party' sometime.

Chrysanthemum

Luckily she gets 'Chrys' for short.... Chrysanthemum was named in 2011 after a flower.

Strawberry

Born July 2012 in Adelaide, Strawberry - so named after the jam that her grandmother made regularly before her passing - was not only lucky enough to be so named, she was also blessed with the middle name of 'Jam'.

Fluke

They can't be serious. She may have been unplanned.. but did they need to go to that extreme.

Quick FOKE written by Kate Wilcox

Grocery bill high? Try Dumpster

hen asked about his best dumpster diving haul Andrew Cooper has to think for a while. “The other day I got 20 mangoes, that was pretty cool. I got a five-litre keg of cider one time. There’s regularly lots of gourmet cheese – blocks of parmesan or brie – I don’t know why, maybe no one buys it. And every now and then they just throw out heaps of stuff from the frozen section – ice cream and Magnums." Dumpster diving is quite a different experience from shopping for groceries. It is conducted after dark with torch in hand and involves jumping into large skips. Supermarkets throw their recently expired food into these skips, so the food is free.

Diving.

Its legality is dubious. But, whether due to thriftiness, political concerns or the simple thrill of it, dumpster diving is an increasingly popular way of filling the pantry. On different nights the bins can yield up anything from cleaning supplies to cereal, biscuits to kiwi fruit to chocolate– basically anything close to its use-by date. Cooper started dumpster diving regularly about a year ago when he and a housemate took a pledge for Lent to spend only $5 per week on food and to supplement their diet with what he calls “bin food.” “It was really fun,” he says. “That was when I realised you could practically live off this if you wanted to.”

He estimates that he currently spends $10-$15 per week on groceries, and he goes dumpster diving about three times each week.

It is also helped by the fact that supermarkets keep their food super-fresh so throw out fruit and vegetables after only a few days on display.

Cooper enjoys the culinary challenge that dumpster diving offers, “You might go there and you get a bunch of bok choy, a sweet potato, some onions and a beetroot and you’re like OK, this is what I’ve got, what am I going to do? So you get out some spices and sauces and you’ve got to be really creative.”

When asked if he has ever gotten sick because of bin food, Cooper is vehement , “I’ve never been healthier than this year. I eat so much better than I did before because I think if you’re trying to be savvy with your money you end up eating a really hard diet– you eat a lot of pasta and rice. But now I eat so much fruit and veg.”

He understands that some people might find his ‘shopping’ habits slightly less than savoury. “Definitely when I first started I thought, ‘Eww, it’s out of a bin,’” he says. “You know I’d bite into an apple and I’d be cringing.” But he says that after a while he came to realise that the food was actually of quite good quality. This is helped by the fact that different kinds of food – fruit and veg, bread, packaged food, meat – are thrown into different bins.

In a Sydney Morning Herald opinion piece last year, Sydney dumpster diver Lucien Alperstein wrote of how dumpster diving allows him to eat better than he would otherwise be able to. He wrote, “I eat several income brackets fancier than what I could otherwise afford. I always have a constant supply of seasonal fruit and vegetables and usually an abundance of relishes and dips, chocolate mousse, fresh pasta, handmade tomato sauce and organic yoghurt… As I write this, there are 19 types of cheese, from gruyère to bocconcini to epicure cheddar, in my fridge – all in blocks of 200 to 300 grams, all individually vacuum sealed. The irony is that the longer I don’t pay for groceries, the more of a food snob I become.” For Cooper, similar to a lot of dumpster divers, there are also political motivations behind his thrifty eating habits. “It’s opened my eyes to how much waste there is. It’s actually quite disgusting how much great stuff is thrown out.” According to the Australian Institute’s ‘What a Waste!’ report, Australians throw out 4.45 million tonnes, or $8 billion worth, of food per year. And while Cooper doesn’t think that dumpster diving is “saving the world or anything”, he does think that “it’s saying, ‘Hey there’s a problem and this waste shouldn’t just get chucked out, it should be available to people.’” To its credit, in 2011, Woolworths donated 1.5 million kilograms of excess produce to FoodBank, an organisation that distributes food to Australia’s poor. But a great deal of food, even food of excellent quality, still makes its way to landfill if it is not salvaged by dumpster divers first. Philosophy aside, Cooper says dumpster diving is worth it for the sheer joy. “My biggest reflection is it’s just really fun,” he says. “You feel like you sort of win. Often me and [his housemate] Phil walk back just laughing and thinking life is so good, look at all this stuff we’ve gleaned.”

Overleaf: A beginners manual for those considering taking the plunge.

FOKE Manual

If you see a hundred

written by Jack West

A beginners manual for dumpster divers

people

running from the direction in, are walking you

join them

If you ’t do didn

it first,

do it

Australian Law reflects a thinly disguised intolerance of the practice. Dumpster divers may run afoul of laws regarding trespassing, invasion of privacy, environmental, or even in some cases “Theft”. Check with your local police station before you dive.

Wear protective gloves, long-sleeve shirts and pants to protect you from dirt and cuts. Bring a milk crate or stepping stool, a torch, protective gloves, boots and a long pole to poke around with or one with a grabbing apparatus on the end, and you may not need to venture in at all.

Make sure you clean up after your diving venture. The area should be left as you found it. Some divers even clean up further so as to give divers a good name. You don’t have to go that far when you are starting out, but its best not to give the store owners or the public anything to whinge about. Bring extra plastic bags for collecting any spill over rubbish onto the ground.

Clean items thoroughly. Check packaged items for holes and leaks and take special care to wash fresh produce. It’s a good idea to start out with foods that are packaged only. Non-food items can be cleaned with bleach and water.

better Est. 2012

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Keep an eye out. As dumpster diving is a controversial practive - any confrontation is best avoided. If people are around - wait till they move on.

And lastly, but most importantly.. wash yourself thoroughly.

"..and with the radio blasting - goes cruising just as fast as she can now - and she'll have fun, fun, fun 'til her daddy takes her T-bird away." - The Beach Boys

Sydney FOKE written by Jack West

Phil Capdor One of Sydneys most wanted

The sooner

, try you

you’lle

It didn't require any huge investigation. Miss M's loyal customers made it clear that barista Phil Capdor is the drawcard.

OKE went straight to the source to find out why FOKE flock to Miss M’s in Bondi Junction for coffee.

the sooner

realiz

what happened would’ve

if you never tried all at

Introducing one of Sydney’s most seasoned baristas... If you check out Phil on instagram and watch him share his latte art with his fans, you’ll be swept away by his love for coffee, people and Sydney. His vast experience across almost 50 different cafes, has given him an edge that turns customers into regulars. Phil was once poached by a large coffee company for an area manager role. He gave it a go.. “I learnt an insurmountable amount about everything coffee.. roasting with their Master Torrefottare (master roaster), art of espresso extraction and the ins and outs of coffee equipment. But the corporate suit side of coffee wasn't my passion, it was making it first hand, getting down and dirty with the grind an spinnin’ milk to silk.” “Latte art is clearly my favourite thing about it. I love to share my passion with others and teach them everything about pouring latte art. Every single person I teach to pour beautiful looking lattes is grinning ear to ear after they’ve poured a perfect rosetta. It is then that I tell them to say “Snap! Icing on the cake.”

Your favourite hot beverage? Double ristretto macchiato. How many sugars? Depends how hung-over I am, but usually half-a (sacrilege I know). Is there a coffee order that gets under your skin? Well, I dont see a point in a double shot DECAF espresso, but its becoming more popular in the eastern suburbs - each to their own. How many coffees do you pour a day? Between 300 & 400. Your favourite weekend activity? Jumpin' on my fixie and riding to a beach, doesnt matter which...

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I can see you opening your own cafe..? Of course thats the direction im heading in, although roasting coffee or running coffee 'latte art clinics' is a dream of mine..

instagram philDANGER email philcapdor@hotmail.com

"Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine." - Elvis Presley

FOKE Manual written by Jack West

The Appropriate & The Inappropriate Public display of affection (PDA)

e have all been in the awkward situations where a couple will overtly show uncopious amounts of affection towards each in public. The FOKE Manual e to the appropriate & inappropriate Public Display of Affection (PDA) should reach the crass offenders amongst us and therefore reduce the frequency of these situations.

THE APPROPRIATE ap·pro·pri·ate:

suitable or proper in the circumstance

Holding hands

Holding your partners hand is acceptable.

Quick kiss

A quick kiss on the cheek or lips is perfectly acceptable. Mouth must remain closed.

I love you

It’s perfectly acceptable to say those three words in public. Refrain from saying it in front of your single friends.

Hair play

Hair play is acceptable if you don’t look at the hair whilst you play. This can make others uncomfortable. Twist it casually and without looking and for no longer than a 1 minute duration.

Hugging

SURVEY RESULTS

FOKE took to the cafes of Sydney to survey cafe patrons on the topic. The survey was conducted to capture a clear snapshot of the present social opinions on what is and what is not appropriate affection in public.

APPROPRIATE

Hugs are totally fine. Just keep hands in publicly appropriate areas.

AGREED DISAGREED NO COMMENT

THE crass crass:

THE inappropriate in·ap·pro·pri·ate:

not suitable in the circumstances

Neck nibbling

No nibbles of any kind are acceptable, neck or anywhere else.

crude and unrefined

Sex or charade style sex

Sex in public is against the law in Australia. Charade style sex is also deemed as an offence. This includes any kind of rocking, grinding, inappropriate style dancing or motion with another that eludes to a sexual act.

Unless your licking an ice cream cone, keep your tongue in your mouth in public. It’s just plain unattractive.

The 3 B’s

Butt, Breasts & Belly. Your hands do not need to linger on these areas unless with consent in a private situation.

stay calm

The tongue

WHAT TO DO WHEN FACED WITH

crass P.D.A

ask them if you can join in

get up close & personal to interrupt

I want you

Although hearing a couple say ‘I love you’ publicly can be appropriate, hearing them say “I want you”, is a whole other issue.

vomit within close proximity

make loud hurling & belching sounds

Whispering followed by a giggle

No one wants to know and no one wants to take a guess. Refrain.

take photos

AGREED

DISAGREED

NO COMMENT

CRASS

INAPPROPRIATE

interrupt to ask their permission

NO COMMENT 91

Tales of prophecy and psychic visions afflict many superheroes (often quiet and intelligent outsiders). The good news? There may be some truth to this! Scientists say the higher your IQ, the more you dream. So what do the dreams of the super-smart reveal to them? The average length of a dream is only 2-3 seconds –barely long enough to register what is taking place– so perhaps very little, but perhaps more than we know.

Our brains are physically incapable of feeling pain. The brain, unlike most other organs and cells in the human body, contains no pain receptors. That migraine you’re nursing? Your brain may feel like it is on fire when you experience a headache, migraine or hangover, but what you are actually feeling is pain in the bones and skin around the head.

We all know the middle parts of those beautiful baby blues, of those wonderful things we call eyes.

Pupils are holes

There is power in dreams

The brain can’t feel pain

Superheroes have been part of our culture since Hercules. We are all a little fascinated by feats of the human body in the fantasy realm - from Superman’s flight to Spider-Man’s web-shooters. We look up to those who can heal themselves, who can extend limbs to and fro, and who possess extraordinary intelligence. However we needn’t admire them so much, as the human body is a superhero capable of doing things even Batman would be jealous of. And the best part about the human body?... We’ve all got one at our disposal. Let me introduce you to your own bodily arsenal...

8 Facts You Probably Didn’t Know About Your Body

Our bodies are able to protect us from feeling pain when need be. This wonderful power comes to us via those marvelous things we call endorphins, the human body’s naturally produced morphine. When released into the body (during activities such as lifting cars over your head to save the civilians trapped under them), the endorphins released have the ability to dull or completely eliminate pain by coating the receiving end of the synapses in the brain.

Pain blockers

Everyone has a unique smell, except for identical twins. Newborns are able to recognise the smell of their mothers and many of us can pinpoint the smell of our significant others and those we are close to. This may come in handy when we need to sniff out damsels in distress our noses can smell them a mile away.

Personal tracking device

But did you know our pupils, often referred to as ‘windows to the soul’, are actually just holes in your eyes? The pupil is a hollow hole in the centre of the iris, with only a thin film over the top of the whole eye to protect them. I don’t know how this will help you on your superhero quest but it is pretty cool to know.

Muscle power That three month gym membership you thought was a waste of money might just be the ticket to your superstrength. It is relatively easy to build new muscle. As an added bonus: did you know that it takes twice as long to lose new muscle after you stop working out, than to gain it? This great news means all of those damn push ups were worth it.

written by Loren Nilsson

Standing at a petite 5’2” I was pleased to hear this little tidbit. Each night we grow! In fact, all humans experience growing pains as we grow a lofty 8 millimetres nightly (enough to fight the tallest giant). Unfortunately the next day we shrink back to our normal height. This rapid growth and even rapider shrinking is caused by our good frenemy, gravity. When we sit or stand, gravity forces your cartilage discs to be squeezed and subsequently shrunk.

We grow & shrink nightly

We have the ability to shed our skin, much like the gargantuan snake in Harry Potter. Not just one second skin but around 600 000 particles of skin per hour– enough to rival the feared basilisk. As disgusting as it is, we can even turn our shed skin into something. Ever wondered what dust is? Dust is primarily the product of our shed skin, so when your parent/significant other/conscience tells you to dust the house, you had better do it. The human body has the power to shed close to 680 grams of skin a year, which is around 48 kilograms of skin by the time you turn 70.

We are all giant basilisks

FOKE Top Picks written by Nathan Smith

Tracking package your

every hour half

wont make

it arrive

faster

Cheesefest

The Top 10 Cheesiest Songs of all time

hey gave us the best of times, they will forever be embedded in our memories. Music wouldn’t be the same without the occasional song featuring over the top sentimentality and blatant use of cliché. They are guilty pleasures for some and nightmare inducing tunes for others. Here’s a list of my ten cheesiest songs of all time. Nikki Webster’s

strawberry kisses

If someone

says “I technically

, ” t ’ didn

they

did Est. 2012

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number 10

Barry Manilow’s

copacabana

number 8 You could devise a list of the ten cheesiest Barry Manilow songs if you so wished, such is the content of his music. “Copacabana” is a 70s disco hit that tells the story of a showgirl who works at the New York night club of the same name. His cheesy crooning has in the past been used as a “weapon” to keep teenage loiterers away from shops.

Released in 2001 by the 14 year old Nikki Webster, this song peaked at number two on Australia’s charts. After performing at the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games, Nikki Webster signed a contract with BMG. With a bubblegum pop beat and lyrics revolving around Nikki’s yearning for “strawberry kisses,” one can only place their face against their palm when listening to this.

wake me up before you go-go by Wham

number 9 A duo formed by George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, Wham! created music strictly for the connoisseur of cheese. Upbeat, infectious and over the top, the lyrics of the chorus read “wake me up before you go-go, don’t leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.” Couple that with the repetition of the word “jitterbug” and the fluorescent short shorts worn by the duo, this song has certainly earned its spot on the list.

Barry manilow wrote copacabana in less than 15 minutes "lola .. she was a showgirl..."

N’ Sync’s

I WANT YOU BACK

number 7 The boy band era of the 90s provided us with plenty of cheesiness. Though there were many that could have made this list, there’s no going past ’N Sync’s debut single “I Want You Back.” Released during a time when Justin Timberlake’s looked more like Mamee noodles, this song has it all, from the synchronised boy band routine to the corny, cliché lyrics.

achy breaky heart by Billy Ray Cyrus

number 6 With a chorus that goes “don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart,” there’s no doubting the cheesiness of this. I mean, was “achy breaky” really necessary? This song became a huge hit for Billy Ray Cyrus, in fact it was the first ever single to achieve triple platinum status in Australia. Adding to the cheesy lyrics was the fact that Billy Ray Cyrus performed them with a mullet of epic proportions.

barbie girl by Aqua

number 3 Barbie, invented in 1959, immediately became one of the best selling dolls of all time. It was also used as inspiration for one of the cheesiest songs of all time. The bubblegum euro-pop group Aqua took the world by storm in the late 90s, offering a string of hits that have been parodied for years. With lyrical content such as “I’m a barbie girl in a barbie world, wrapped in plastic, it’s fantastic,” this song is an absolute cheesefest.

rick astley earnt $12 Million in royalties from 'Never gonna give you up'

who let the dogs out The Baha Men

number 5 This song is not only cheesy, but tremendously annoying. The chorus involves the group constantly shouting “who let the dogs out?”, a question followed by them barking in unison. Originally written and recorded by Anslem Douglas, it was popularised by the English group The Baha Men. One has to wonder if they ever discovered who actually let the dogs out.

Y.M.C.A.

The Village People

number 4 The famous dance move that involves shaping your arms to spell out “Y.M.C.A.” is part of this tracks legend, and its cheesiness. Even the shyest of people have performed this particular number on the disco floor. With a recognisable, easy to remember chorus sung by men in flamboyant costumes (such as that of a police officer and sailor), this song is royalty in the world of cheesiness. We would like to take this spare space on this page to inform you that you are a little over half way through the article. Not far to go now. Breathe.

never gonna give you up Rick Astley

number 1

barbie creator, Mattel sued Aqua, saying they turned Barbie into a sex object

the case was dismissed

Vanilla Ice brought us

ice, ice baby

number 2 Eminem famously said “I felt like I didn’t want to rap anymore,” after hearing “Ice, Ice Baby.” Sampling the bass line from the Queen & David Bowie song “Under Pressure,” this was a blow for any caucasian rapper looking to be taken seriously in the world of Hip Hop. Complete with shiny MC Hammeresque parachute pants, Vanilla Ice is regarded as a groundbreaker for novelty acts around the world.

Twenty years after “Never Gonna Give You Up” topped the charts throughout Europe, it became a common prank on the internet to expose unknowing victims to this song. Everything about Rick Astley’s 1987 hit oozes cheese, from the lyrics that insist he will never give you up, to the dance moves that nobody should ever repeat. This is the cheesiest song of all time by a fairly large margin.

the honorable mentions Macarena by Los Del Rio, Candy Man by Aqua, 5 6 7 8 by Steps, Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship, Hip to Be Square by Huey Lewis and the News, St. Elmos Fire by John Parr, Gloria by Laura Branigan, Flashdance…What a Feeling by Irene Cara, Broken Wings by Mr. Mister, I Want to Know What Love is by Foreigner, Making Love Out Of Nothing At All by Air Supply, We Built This City by Starship, Boom Boom Boom Boom by The Vengaboys, She Bangs by Ricky Martin.

Quick FOKE

Overdo than more

you overthink

written by Jemma Williams

Let’s Face it

There’s something about Facebook

If it looks car, like a cop

is assume it until proven

otherwise

Never let

what you

can’t do distract

you from

the things you can do Est. 2012

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acebook’s announcement last year that it had reached one seventh of the world’s population, is especially remarkable considering that less than a third of the world actually accesses the Internet. How has Facebook achieved such enormous success across generations and cultures? Is there something about the social network that responds to an innate human need?

The incredible growth has corresponded with constant changes to the way the site operates. Perhaps this evolution holds some clues about why contemporary society can’t seem to live without Facebook. The first significant change that distinguished Facebook was the News Feed. Suddenly, any small change to a user’s profile was instantly broadcast to a large audience of everyone they knew; from their school friends to the backpacker they met years ago in Mexico. Users reacted with panic. In the New York Times, Clive Thompson described this as “like being at a giant, open party, filled with everyone you know, able to eavesdrop on what everyone else was saying, all the time.” Despite the initial outcry, News Feed was eventually embraced and the site boomed with growth. Logging in to Facebook became like unexpectedly striking a conversation with an old neighbour in the street. Facebook had turned the Internet world into a small town, where everyone knew everyone else’s business. Perhaps travellers and city dwellers, long fragmented from their communities, needed to belong to something, where they could feel included and important.

Facebook continued to grow, and the News Feed became an open conversation, filled with details about people’s activities, aspirations and hopes. Rather than simply being a space where identity was expressed, Facebook became a place where things happened and identities were constructed. Beneath the public profile was an undercurrent of private messages and untagged photos, like deeply buried secrets and denials. Timeline initiated protest because it chronicles our online lives over the years, creating our own visual biographies on the Internet. Eventually, people realised they liked having their story presented for all to see. With one billion interacting stories, the online community is more intimate than ever before. In a world of international travel, big cities and job changes, Facebook is a constant guarantee of social connectedness. A recent video created by Facebook ends with the dramatic statement: “The universe is vast, and dark, and makes us wonder if we are alone. So maybe the reason we make all of these things is to remind ourselves that we are not.” Perhaps the foke of Facebook have got it right, and our innate need for inclusion makes the site so indispensable.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;The universe is vast, and dark, and makes us wonder if we are alone. So maybe the reason we make all of these things is to remind ourselves that we are not.â&#x20AC;?

Funny FOKE written by Simon Masterton

A Coffee & a Milk Arrowroot

... with ex-biscuit baker Christopher Wayne

t’s a cool Brisbane morning in the winter of 2001. You’re sitting in your armchair, staring out the window and stirring a milk arrowroot into your skinny latte with an extra shot. You’re wondering what the day might hold for you, Christopher Wayne, factory-hand at the Arnott’s Biscuits plant. As you look down at your milk-soaked stirring device, you realise it’ll probably be much the same as yesterday. You’ll be making biscuits.

Introducing

Christopher Wayne He was the first ever Australian Magician to secure his own TV series. “Magic is not about tricking or fooling people. I love using what I do to put a smile on peoples faces, but most importantly, I hope that as long as Im performing - that I am using what I do to share a message of importance.”

“I found a way to make a living by putting smiles on people’s faces.”

When I asked to catch up with Wayne recently, he had some slightly different thoughts occupying his mind, whilst he sipped on his supercharged latte. During the last twelve years – the five years of clinical depression previous – he maintained a constant drive towards something that no one else would ever consider achievable. And just like that the long hard times seemed to Vanish. Like magic.

Funny FOKE

3 words

get to out of you

almost

any

situation

“sorry”, I’m allergic

You might

want to

wait until you know

for sure

before you

bragit about Est. 2012

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A Coffee & a Milk Arrowroot continued “I had clinical depression for five years, and it was the last year of that when I realised it was important to have something to work towards,” explains Wayne, Australia’s very own celebrity magician and a national success story. “Learning magic was great for my self-esteem, and was fantastic as a form of diversional therapy. I have lived a mentally healthy life for the last eleven years.” It’s nice to know, however, that the journey to Wayne’s global recognition as a performer began with a good old-fashioned Aussie pastime: bludging while on the job. “I realise that my story is a little different in that it began in a biscuit factory. I spent every day there learning magic tricks to cure my boredom.” But when it comes to the thing that he loves the most, Wayne has always been willing to put in the hard yards, “It’s not always easy – I’ve been through times of having no work (which means no money), things going horribly wrong, late nights, performing sick, you name it.

rock band Journey, headlined one of Australia’s biggest music festivals, made a TV series and, most importantly - found a way to make a living by putting smiles on people’s faces.” A great part of being one of the world’s best illusionists must be having tricks up his sleeve at parties; it’s “the ultimate ice-breaker and conversationmaker,” as Wayne himself admitted. Yet I simply refuse to believe that his greatest trick would involve cards, handkerchiefs, or squirming his way out of a straight jacket while hanging upside-down in front of fifteen thousand people. No, to appreciate the finest trick up his sleeve you need to know a thing or two about where the man’s come from. ....Because no one can make a Milk Arrowroot disappear faster than Christopher Wayne.

The good and the bad combined is completely worthwhile for that moment when I get to walk on a stage and do what I do best.” So just how far has the former Arnott’s employee come, thanks to hard work and perhaps a little good fortune? “Nowadays I’m travelling the world doing 250 shows a year so it’s come a long way. My first show was when I was 21 at a kids club. Since then, I have performed for Gordon Ramsay at his restaurant-opening in Melbourne, opened for 80’s

Christopher Wayne’s best selling DVD “Magic School” is great for the magic enthusiast or someone looking to learn some party magic tricks. In Magic School, Christopher performs and then teaches you 10 easy magic tricks using ordinary household items. www.gospelmagic.com.au www.facebook.com/chriswaynemagic info@gospelmagic.com.au

Sydney FOKE

Tattoo Artist Bodie

odie has been tattooing for over ten years now, half of them abroad in the US. He opened Shanghai Charlie’s (Surry Hills) in late 2010, to give himself, his customers, and his fellow tattooers a comfortable place to work. The studio has a unique feel, channeling the olden days, when design was exciting and customer service important. Bodie’s favourite style to tattoo is the “old school” Americana, and the expression “bold will hold” suits his style. He enjoys using bright colours making for that bold, colourful tattoo that will last a lifetime.

Shanghai Charlie's Tattoo Palour shanghaicharliestattoo.com

Book your tattoo appointment at 02 9319 1001 or info@shanghaicharliestattoo.com

101

102

FOKE Manual

Tips for Chix Chapter #1 | Tips #1-8

1. Wash regularly

2. Don't eat with dogs

3. Fancy Dress

4. Blonde Ambitions

5. Turkey dinner

6. Underwear

7. Walk out

8. Remember what she did

Deoderant and perfume in large quantities is not deemed as ‘having a shower’.

You will never be Marilyn Monroe. Kick the bottle and accept your natural colour.

If you don’t like a movie, walk out. Try it. It’s liberating.

If your friends are not as stylish as you in manners, dress or otherwise... find new ones.

If he looks like, sounds like or acts like a turkey... he's a turkey. Let him pay for dinner.

Halloween and fancy dress parties are not an invitation to wear a french maids outfit.

Underwear is exactly that - underwear, not outerwear. Cover it up. (Includes bra straps)

Thank her.

103

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FOKE Manual

Tips for Lads Chapter #1 | Tips #1-8

1. Call your Dad

2. Hats & toupees do not cover baldness

3. Apply the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;James Dean Lookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; at all times

4. Create a signature dish

5. Do not loiter and stare

6. Dance

7. Maintenance

8. Your partner is more important than your car

Lads love their Mums but remember to give a little to Dad too (texts and emails are not acceptable).

Cook it over and over again until you have perfected it without referring to the recipie. Name it.

Just as your car needs oil and water, so do you. Wash and moisturise everyday.

Be proud of your bald head. Show it to the world.

Standing and staring in public areas is creepy. Make yourself busy or leave the area.

Take dance classes.

105

FOKE Top Picks written by Jack West

The Best Photo Opportunities Standing next to a sign

rom time to time we all drive past a town’s ‘welcome’ sign or perhaps find a street sign with a name so wonderfully silly that we feel the need to pull over and take our photo next to it.

Stretch your legs on your next road trip. Grab your phone and snap that pic. You could create your own application for others to upload thier photos as well. This could be the birth of something big. The ‘standing next to a sign’ app’.

titwobble lane It’s amusing yet hard to believe that this sign exists, but I’m sure there’s loads of photo evidence out there. Titwobble Lane is a small gravel road leading to a few farms and an entrance to the State Park in Wedderburn, Victoria.

Broke Broke is located in the Hunter Region, 157 km North of Sydney on the original early colonial road from Sydney to Singleton. The towns welcome sign has been photographed many times, but is continually stolen for firewood (figures).

bong bong road Located in the Sydney suburb of Horsley, the Bong Bong road sign has been replaced by the local council more than 40 times in the last 5 years. Police suspect many high school students in the area display it on their bedroom walls. 106

Love street The Love Street sign in Blacktown, NSW is another Sydney street sign that tops the list for replacement. Many love struck teens (and 30 somethings) have been seen with toolbox and torch lurking near the sign between 2 and 4am.

tittybong Located only a 3 hour drive from Melbourne, Tittybong may not have the sweetest name, but if you can overlook the address (and the 3 hour commute to Melbourne) a 3 bedroom home with all the mod cons will only cost you $125,000.

Mooball This quaint little village, situated on the Tweed Valley Highway on the North Coast of NSW, embraces its unusual name. Visitors love taking photos of the black and white cow print painted general store, lamp posts and boulders which line the village streets.

nowhere else Elliston District Council has an expensive problem at Eyre Peninsula in South Australia. The Council CEO says “People sort of look at it and say ‘Oh that’d be good to have hanging in the shed or up above the bar’ or something like that, so they acquire it,” she said. Contrary to the name on the sign, the dirt road actually does lead somewhere - The road branches off the Flinders Highway near the coastal town of Sheringa and heads inland to Tooligie.

diehard Located near the Mann River, half way between Grafton and Glenn Innes (NSW), Diehard is a popular photo opporutnity for all those diehard Bruce Willis fans..

FOKE Top Picks written by Jack West

The Strangest www’s Totally worth a visit eggs & Bacon bay LOVE BUBBLE WRAP ? Situated at the mouth of the Franklin River, Tasmania, Eggs and Bacon Bay is a picturesque suburb which, one would imagine produces a smashing 'all day big breakfast' to die for.

Visit www.snapbubbles.com & pop to your heart's content.

THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE This website leaves you speechless - which is opposite to the very strange singing man which this website will present you with. We have no idea who, what or why it exists.

www.trololololololololololo.com

hell’s gates

(thats 11 ‘o’s and 10 ‘l’s)

Do NOTHING FOR 2 MINUTES Situated in Tasmania, it’s believed that the name originated from the treacherous entrance to Macquarie Harbour and the hellish conditions of the penal colony in the harbour. These days it probably refers to the entrance of the toilet facilities.

Exactly what it says......

www.donothingfor2minutes.com

Press in dire situations

Useless Loop www.nooooooooooooooo.com (thats 15 ‘o’s) So-named because it was thought to be inaccessible due to a sandbar blocking access from the sea, Useless Loop in the Shark Bay area of WA, turned out to be not so useless after all. Currently used as a solar salt farm which produces and exports some of the best salt in the world.

Play the piano from your keypad Be a pianist - just follow the sheet music provided which displays letters to use on your keypad - www.virtualpiano.net 107

Quick FOKE written by Jeremy Gurto

Sydney's Boutique Cinemas

nce upon a time, it was an experience and an event to go out to the movies. It could be a perfect date for your sweetheart or a fancy night out akin to attending an opera. You could escape with the boyish charm of Jimmy Stewart, the dashing good looks of Cary Grant or the radiant dresses of Grace Kelly in the glory of Technicolor.

Hayden Orpheum 380 Military Road Cremorne p. 02 9908 4344 orpheum.com.au

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The Palace Verona

17 Oxford Street Paddington p. 02 9360 6099 palacecinemas.com.au

But don’t despair ... those days are still here! Don’t let the 3D glasses and obscenely large screens fool you; the next time you want to go to the movies, don’t plonk down $30 for a painfully ordinary experience. Go out of the way to one of these five boutique cinemas hidden around Sydney and rekindle the magic of escaping to the movies.

The Palace Norton Street

99 Norton Street Leichardt p. 02 9564 5620 palacecinemas.com.au

Chauvel Cinema

Cnr Oxford Street & Oatley Road Paddington p. 02 9361 5398 palacecinemas.com.au

Dendy Opera Quays

9/2 Circular Quay East, Sydney p. 02 9247 3800 dendy.com.au

To CATCH A THIEF Grace Kelly & Cary Grant

GONE WITH THE WIND Vivien Leigh & Clark Gable

BORN TO DANCE Jimmy Stewart & Eleanor Powell

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The Palace Norton Street

Chauvel Cinema

Dendy Opera Quays

Not surprisingly, being situated in Leichardt, the Palace Norton Street has perhaps the most cosmopolitan feel of Sydney’s cinemas. It goes without saying that there are plenty of dining options nearby, and it’s just a short walk down the street to the Italian forum where shops, pizza and gelato abound. The Palace Norton Street is also a favourite for international film festivals, as are all of the Palace cinemas. The Lavazza Italian Film Festival arrives in Sydney every September, and that’s as perfect an opportunity as any to visit the Palace for a night of food, Chianti and quality Italian films. Buon divertimento!

Nestled snugly within the Paddington Town Hall is the Chauvel Cinema. Since its opening in 1977 it’s been a hotspot for movie lovers with the cinematic fare ranging from the local to the independent to the international to the classic, with special events such as opera and ballet screenings a regular occurrence. The gorgeous interior hallway and licensed bar area shows traces of the venue’s previous life as a ballroom, and the historically rich architecture suits the classic movie-watching atmosphere perfectly. The Chauvel is very literally at the cultural heart of Paddington and a superb Sydney attraction.

Right on the water’s edge of Circular Quay and directly next to the Sydney Opera House, the Dendy has a stunning waterfront view particularly when the cityscape is lit up at night. Plus its promenade location means there is absolutely no shortage of dining options for before or after your movie. The interior is plastered with classic art house film posters and such films are regularly shown, along with plenty of classic and indie films and special events such as the annual Sydney Film Festival. Once again, the venue is fully licensed, so feel free to take your drinks into the classically designed theater and sit back as you watch your film in comfort.

The Palace Verona

Hayden Orpheum

The Palace Verona definitely has the homey and comfortable atmosphere that suits a local cinema while at the same time being a place where you can see the latest art house films or a classic if you’re so minded. The venue, like all Palace cinemas, screens operas and international theatrical events on a regular basis. The interior itself feels like a home theater, with cosy inclined seats that look up at the screen for a relaxing experience. Not only that, but the Verona is directly situated amongst some of Sydney’s best restaurants, nightclubs and shops. You couldn’t ask for a better evening out.

Truly a Sydney treasure, the Hayden Orpheum is a gorgeous venue hidden away in Cremorne. Originally built in 1935, the Orpheum was near total destruction when sold to commercial property developers, until it was bought in 1986 and radically renovated, reopening in 1987. It now boasts a beautiful art deco theme, a Mighty Wurlitzer organ and six screens, all with state of the art digital picture and sound.In addition it features fully licensed bars offering all manner of classic things to munch while you watch, with staff and ushers dressed in old-fashioned red and white striped outfits complete with bow ties. In the hallways outside, the walls are studded with a cavalcade of classic film stars, most likely featuring in an Orpheum film being shown that day. The Orpheum also regularly has “retro” nights, showing double features of classic 80s and 90s films, offering cash prizes for best costumes. It's definitely worth checking out. Hayden Orpheum pictured above in black and white.

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