April 5, 2011 by Folio Weekly

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Working Girl: My days as special assistant to Ponzi schemer Lydia Cladek. p. 16

Diagnosed with a ALS, a longtime Jacksonville journalist reflects on a good life and an inevitable death. p. 51

2 | folio weekly | April 5-11, 2011

Inside

Volume 25 Number 1

8 MAIL Is Folio Weekly nuclear fear-mongering? Plus why it’s necessary to end our days as party animals. p. 4

MUSIC Couldn’t be more different: Voice of the Wetlands All-Stars, Ween and Diet Cokeheads. p. 26

EDITOR’S NOTE p. 5

ARTS “Deformance” artist Liz Gibson joins visual artist Jeff Whipple in two local exhibits. Plus Grant Wood spins wondrous works of wood and metal. p. 34

BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS Stop laughing, J’ville. You’re just not funny. Plus the city’s new Beaches district Councilmember says he’s joking, not stupid. p. 6 NEWS Abortion clinic protesters mirror the legislative offense on the right to choose. p. 6 9 tax facts hardly anyone knows. p. 10 PERSONAL NARRATIVE My days as special assistant to Ponzi schemer Lydia Cladek. p. 16 OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 21 MOVIES Reviews of “Sucker Punch” and “Source Code.” p. 22

NEWS OF THE WEIRD Florida Senate Bill 1246 would make it a felony to photograph farmland. p. 46 BACKPAGE A terminal diagnosis offers grim finality — with benefits. p. 51 SPORTSTALK p. 18 I ♥ TELEVISION p. 19 HAPPENINGS p. 39 DINING p. 40 I SAW U p. 47 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY p. 48 CLASSIFIEDS p. 49

April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 3

The Secret History

Congratulations to local artists Juliet Hinley and Narooz Soliman for their new oral history project (“Guided by Voices,” March 15, bit.ly/ihpHjG). When I first saw their kiosk, I wasn’t sure if the “Bureau of Historic Continuity” was a joke, but having read your story, I’m happy to understand their intent. Jacksonville is full of stories, most of them not known to the general public, and some of

From our segregated past to our corrupt present, Jacksonville is a historical minefield out there for anyone brave enough to explore. which the “powers that be” would just as soon not ever know. From our segregated past to our corrupt present, there is a historical minefield out there for anyone brave enough to explore. I hope that the artists are able to connect with the people versed in Jacksonville’s underground history. I personally look forward to taking their walking tour someday. L. Brian Shaffer Springfield via email

Ed Note: For more info on the oral history project, go to http://bureauofhistoriccontinuity. tumblr.com.

Party Hangover

Our party animal days are over. No, I am not referring to toga parties, keg stands and sadistic hazing. I speak of something that is equally immature among us. We need to overcome the local belief that one political party is the only way to building a better Jacksonville. As I canvassed the area last year for local candidates, I found far too many people who were eager to write off a candidate because of party affiliation. It simply did not matter to them that one candidate’s ideas may or may not be the most beneficial. It only mattered if someone danced with the elephants or with the donkeys. In this upcoming municipal runoff election, I hope that we can set aside the red thinking and the blue thinking to make an informed choice about who should be our next mayor (Editor’s Note, March 29, bit.ly/fxoBNv). After all, we have seen leaders defy party stereotypes for good — Democrats who helped to end tolls and Republicans who helped pass major capital improvements. And we have seen leaders who ran as faithful to their party only to cynically ignore their so-called conservative roots to bury us in front-door fees and back-door taxes. Blind party loyalty, in my opinion, only limits our thinking and prevents the best solutions from taking shape. This May 17, I hope that our choice is informed by the greater good and not by a D or an R. John Louis Meeks Jr. Jacksonville

Thanks for Everything

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In these troubled times, there comes a point where a person just has to look around and feel grateful for what they have in life. I would like

to take this opportunity to thank a few people who are truly making Jacksonville the best place in the country to live, work and raise a family. The music director at my church, Unitarian Universalist Church of Jacksonville, J. Henson Markham, is doing an excellent job bringing local, national and international artists to the church to perform at our weekly mini-concerts and during the service. This man is also responsible for bringing first-class performers to the Friday Musicale on Oak Street in Riverside. A big thank you goes to Barbara Gubbin, my employer, director of the Jacksonville Public Library. I have worked at the Regency Square Branch in Arlington in different capacities since 2000, except the year I was a Librarian Trainee at the Southeast Branch. The Main Library graces the heart of downtown Jacksonville. It’s located right across from Hemming Plaza, across from City Hall and next to the Museum of Contemporary Art. There’s free parking after 6 p.m. and on weekends. My aunt and uncle, Julia and John Taylor, were responsible for recently bringing the Imagination Squared exhibit to the Main Library. Thank you so much for your generosity. They were also supportive of Audrey Moran’s campaign for mayor, even though they couldn’t participate in the elections because of their residence outside of Jacksonville. Living on Atlantic Boulevard, I sometimes get discouraged by speeding motorists and the abundance of strip malls, fast-food chains, adult entertainment shops and the occasional gun store. But the people I come into contact with at the library, the customers and coworkers, are generally sweet and I am usually able to work through people’s frustrations with the computers or the occasional long wait in line. Thank you for your patience. Come visit me at the library any time. Virginia Snow Martin Jacksonville via email

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Business & Administration

Nuclear Threats

Your recent “Nuclear Options” article (News, March 22, bit.ly/hbLwun) must please those who irrationally try to frighten people into opposing nuclear-generated power. In addition, The Daily Beast’s ranking of “most vulnerable” nuclear power plants is without merit and based on subjective rather than any scientific data. Also, the odds of dying in an auto accident are 1 in 88, while the odds of dying from radiation are zero. Producing and burning coal, gas and oil kills more people than nuclear power every year — in fact, more in one year than nuclear energy plants have harmed in total. When all those “non polluting” electric cars start plugging into the grid, we better have the clean, readily available and “reasonably safe” resources to meet the demand, or a lot of people trying to get to work, etc., are going to be stuck in their driveways. Thousands of wind farms, millions of solar panels, billions of gallons of ethanol and all the polluting coal in the world won’t meet the energy needs of our children’s future. Nuclear will, and one day the American public and the media will agree. Jim Knapp Ponte Vedra Beach via email If you would like to respond to something that appeared in Folio Weekly, please send a signed letter (no anonymous or pseudonymous mail will be printed) along with address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to themail@folioweekly.com or THE MAIL, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Letters may be edited for space and clarity.

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Folio Weekly is published every Tuesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received three weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2011. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 44,200 press run • Audited weekly readership 110,860

On the Offensive S

omewhere between the splayed legs of the mannequin/model that scandalized UNF last week (see Buzz, p. 6) and the scolding that Republican state House members gave to Democratic Rep. Scott Randolph for uttering the word “uterus” on the House floor (http:// bit.ly/heT8nS) is a familiar bogeyman: female sexuality. Whether used to whip up fear and loathing in repressed politicos or to prod marginally literate college students from their intellectual slumber, there is one surefire path to glory: the crotch shot. It’s amazing that it still holds such power, given the various ways it’s been co-opted and exploited for financial or political gain. (Of course, it’s a profit center, too, let’s be fair. Club

under the federal health law. Since most insurers want to participate in the exchanges, the bill would make it impossible for those companies to offer comprehensive health insurance to their female clients. Then there’s House Bill 1179, which would amend the Florida Constitution to ban public dollars from covering abortion. Not only would that prohibit state, municipal and local governments from using their own money to pay for a safe and legal procedure, but it would block them from even offering offer their employees health insurance policies that cover abortion. The push for uterine command and control is unlikely to be slowed. Just over 20 percent of House members are women, and a fair number

But it’s telling that not one of the voices in either of last week’s “debates” was female. The Spinnaker’s editor, male, defended the paper’s decision, while UNF’s president, male, and a board member of Center for Student Media, male, derided it as amateurish provocation. (The girl depicted on the cover? Not only silent, but headless.) girls who focus on their hair and wardrobe miss the point, as do the growing legions of Spring Break Lesbians who appear to regard the furtherance of hot girl-on-girl action as their chief contribution to the culture.) But it’s telling that not one of the voices in either of last week’s “debates” was female. The Spinnaker’s editor, male, defended the paper’s decision, while UNF’s president, male, and a board member of Center for Student Media, male, derided it as amateurish provocation. (The girl depicted on the cover? Not only silent, but headless.) Of course, the gentlemen of UNF have no special jurisdiction over women and their “girl parts.” The same cannot be said about the Florida House variety, where even as they recoil from speaking the word “uterus,” they legislatively burrow deeper in. As Folio Weekly reports this week (News, p. 6) there are no fewer than 18 bills introduced this session that would hamper a woman’s right to make important health care decisions, including whether or not to have an abortion. House Bill 97, for example — a local replica of the federal “Stupak” ban — would basically outlaw abortion insurance. Seriously: The bill would make it illegal for private insurers to offer abortion coverage in policies sold on the new exchanges to be created

of them are Republicans — a party that long ago agreed that politicians are better equipped than women and their doctors to decide when and under what circumstances they will reproduce. Which is why some familiar bills are back this year, including one that would require a woman to schedule and pay for an ultrasound (an unnecessary medical procedure that politicians, not doctors, demand) before undergoing an abortion. Palatka Rep. Charles Van Zant even filed a bill that would place a blanket ban on abortions, a straight-up legal challenge of Roe v. Wade. It will be interesting to see if the House can push its agenda without mentioning the word uterus, or (in the words of GOP language police) “any other language that would be considered inappropriate for children and other guests.” But anything’s possible. After all, this very city memorably staged a performance of “The Vagina Monologues” in 2007 without using that word on the marquee. Clinical accuracy yielded to what even the play’s director acknowledged was “childish slang,” and thus were “The HooHa Monologues” born. (Mercifully not from an actual uterus.) So stay tuned! There’s bound to be plenty of lively (if cryptic) discussions ahead at the intersection where health and reproductive parts meet. Just remember to avert your eyes, cover your ears and bite your tongue. Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 5

NewsBuzz Phat and Healthy St. Johns County ranked as the third-healthiest county in Florida in an annual health checkup, based on factors like high school graduation rates and premature deaths, though a full 60 percent of the population is considered overweight. According to the report, released by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, Clay County ranked sixth, Nassau ranked 31st and Duval County came in at 46th out of 67. One of the factors that brought down Jacksonville’s health: The county had almost twice as many cases of chlamydia (721 cases out of every 100,000 people) as the Florida average.

On a Related Note … “The editors of The Spinnaker, the University of North Florida’s student paper, are in big big big trouble for running this photo of real live simulated oral sex to illustrate a story about oral sex and HPV. How dare the illustration match the topic of the story, in a newspaper that serves adults? The school’s president is calling for an ‘appropriate response, whatever that’s going to be,’ from the paper. May we suggest they go totally nude next week? The media climate in Jacksonville hasn’t changed a bit since I left there seven years ago. Or since 1950, really.” — Gawker writer Hamilton Nolan, covering the Spinnaker scandal for the online weblog gawker.com, in a post titled, “Shocking Photo Alerts College Students to the Existence of Oral Sex.”

Doesn’t Rank Jacksonville, according to a Daily Beast list of the 30 funniest cities in America. Which isn’t necessarily surprising, until you see that Scranton, Waco and New Haven all made the list. The only Florida city on it (no surprise) was Tallahassee.

On a Related Note … Lighten Up! — The advice of incoming Beaches district City Councilmember Bill Gulliford to anyone who didn’t get the joke when he suggested water withdrawals from the St. Johns River might eliminate the need to move the city’s cruise ship terminal to Mayport. Gulliford maintains he was kidding when he said the drawdown would allow large cruise ships to pass under the Dames Point Bridge without needing to move the terminal. Of course, in an election where mayoral candidate Mike Hogan spoke of bombing abortion clinics and council candidate Kimberly Daniels warned of witches putting spells on Halloween candy, perhaps Gulliford shouldn’t be surprised if voters missed the joke. 6 | folio weekly | April 5-11, 2011

40 Days for Life organizer Trudy Perez-Poveda snaps pictures of a reporter while “Brother-Brother” gives the thumbs-up.

Voices Against Choices

Street protestors at a University Boulevard women’s clinic mirror the current legislative offense on abortion

ince the U.S. Supreme Court legalized abortion with the Roe v. Wade decision in January 1973, it’s become an annual custom in the Florida Legislature to file bills that would hobble that right. The anti-abortion sentiment in Tallahassee is notably fervent this year, and most observers agree the bills have a better chance of passing this session than at any other time in the past. There have already been a record 18 bills filed that would severely restrict abortion rights. Many of them are moving quickly through committee, including one that would outlaw new federal health insurance partnerships from funding elective abortions and another that would slash funding for family planning services. On University Boulevard in Jacksonville, the battle between pro-choice and pro-life forces has taken place daily since March 9 at A Woman’s Choice of Jacksonville. The clinic, which offers abortions up to 20 weeks after gestation, in addition to other women’s health services, draws a small cadre of diehard protesters year-round, but those numbers increase during the national pro-life vigil “40 Days for Life.” During the period from March 9 to April 17, which corresponds roughly to Lent, a group of mostly Catholic pro-life activists (they prefer to be called vigilists) engages in various forms of protest. From 7:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. daily, they fast, pray the rosary, wave signs and yell at women entering the clinic. The protestors are restricted to the public sidewalk along University Boulevard South, on the far side of a split-rail fence that’s hundreds of yards from the clinic’s entrance, and their shouts are often drowned out by passing traffic. But it’s necessary for clinic patients and employees to drive by the group, past signs emblazoned with gigantic fetuses and printed in the yellow-and-black of traffic caution signs. On a recent Saturday, about 26 people stood

behind and leaned against the fence, alternately shouting and pleading their case. To buffer clients from what she calls “screamers and shouters,” 20-year-old Kelsea McLain has organized a group of volunteer clinic escorts. The escorts wear bubblegum-pink T-shirts and hover near women as they arrive, in case anyone is rattled by the protestors. “We love you! Let us help!” shouts a man McLain has nicknamed “Brother-Brother,” because of the way he addresses black men who drop women off at the clinic. With no one for Brother-Brother to yell at, he directs his shouts at McLain. “Be pro-women! There are thousands of little girls dying daily,” he shouts. McLain, a spirited young woman with a blond ponytail, oversized sunglasses and fingernails painted black with white pin-dots, copes with the protestors by giving them nicknames. Besides Brother-Brother, there’s “Mr. Bery McDirty T-Shirt,” because he wears

if you run away from responsibility. We’re not saying you’re a bad person. We just want to talk to you about other options.” The man, who clenches the stub of an unlit cigarello in his teeth, shrugs and says the protestors don’t have any effect on him. “That don’t really bother me,” he says. He beeps his horn at the protestors on the way out of the drive. “Sometimes I try to understand, I do,” says McLain. “I think it will help me emotionally to react to their shouting if I understand on an emotional level how they feel,” she says. “But I always come back to conversations I’ve had with women I talk to, with patients. I’ve heard their stories. I know how desperate they sometimes are.” While McLain talked to a reporter, 40 Days for Life Jacksonville organizer Trudy Perez-Poveda snapped photographs. She wore a white sequined visor, pink lipstick,

“But I always come back to conversations I’ve had with women I talk to, with patients. I’ve heard their stories. I know how desperate they sometimes are.” soiled T-shirts. Humor helps her maintain some reserve, lest she get drawn into debate with the 40-Dayers. “We instruct escorts not to respond to the protesters,” she says. “Or to say anything negative about them to patients. Our focus should be on the patient.” As a young African-American man who’s been sitting in his black sedan steps in view of the protesters, Brother-Brother begins his routine. “If you are a man, stand for the protection of your family, stand up for your unborn child,” he shouts. “You can’t be a man

a flame-stitched red-and-blue top and large sunglasses with a graduated tint. She says that her group has prevented “hundreds” of women from getting abortions, and was intent on noting the diversity of protesters. “We range in age from in the womb to octogenarians,” she said in a follow-up email. “We are male and female. We are pro-life people who choose to stand and pray in front of the abortion facility.” A tall 20ish African-American man defends the shouting, comparing it to someone trying to prevent his or her parents from going toward

APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 7

a bridge that is out. “You would do everything you could do to get their attention,” he says. “That’s what we’re doing.” McLain has trained about 10 escorts and has about three who volunteer regularly. The escorts are needed even after the 40 Days protest ends, because the protesters will continue to come, just in smaller numbers. She thinks the clinic’s protesters are just a daily dose of what’s coming down the line from Tallahassee. “We are really facing a time when women need to pay attention,” she says, “and not get comfortable that the right to choose will

always be there.” “I tell you what I say,” says an AfricanAmerican woman leaving the clinic after helping a high-school-aged girl into the passenger seat. “If you’ve never done nothing wrong, throw the first stone. But if you have, then leave me the f*ck alone.” For information about clinic escort volunteers, call Kelsea McLain at A Woman’s Choice of Jacksonville at 488-8877. Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

Punctuation Fascination Vampire Weekend may not give a f*ck about an Oxford comma (bit.ly/gR9ocR), but the folks in Ponte Vedra are in an absolute snit over it. The Ponte Vedra Zoning and Adjustment Board is recommending adding an Oxford, or serial comma, to a phrase that currently prohibits “boats and boat trailers,” so that it’s clear the law prohibits both, not just trailers holding boats. The proposed new rule would ban “boats, boat trailers, and boats with trailers.”

West Adams Street, Jacksonville, March 2

Bouquets to Jacksonville Animal Care and Protective Services veterinarian technician Tammy Scott and her co-workers for finding a way to save a dog injured by a bullet. When someone shot a bullet through the chest of a 70-pound dog vet techs named “Bullet,” it grazed his spine and paralyzed his hindquarters. But after the dog was treated for his injury, Scott and other techs fashioned a wheelchair for him from a thrift-store castoff and attached it to his hind legs. The big-spirited Bullet took to his walker quickly. Brickbats to University of North Florida junior Ryan Winter who serves on the Center for Student Media but who apparently doesn’t understand the wall that serious journalists maintain between editorial and advertising. When the Spinnaker student newspaper published a controversial cover to illustrate the link between oral sex and throat cancer (see Buzz, p. 6), Winter wanted the issue removed from the racks, saying it might drive away advertisers. Though that proposal was rejected, the Student Government’s budget committee docked the paper three day’s worth of funding in a seemingly retaliatory move. Bouquets to Orange Park resident Bill Conroy for his outstanding generosity in blood donations. Last week, Conroy hit the 100-gallon mark at his regular donation center, The Blood Alliance on Kingsley Avenue. Conroy goes every two weeks to donate blood and platelets, and has been a regular donor since 1961. 8 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

NewsBuzz cardcow.com

Rock the Boat, Baby! The legendary rocking ship bar inside the Moby Dick Lounge at Marineland is up for sale. The bar — which actually rocked with a flip of a switch — once hosted such luminaries as Ernest Hemingway, Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings and Eleanor Roosevelt. But when the Georgia Aquarium bought Marineland earlier this year, it had no use for the novelty bar and tore it out. The Friends of A1A have the boat-bar in storage and are hoping to find a new home for the attraction. Perhaps they can also get the new owners to continue the Rocking Ship tradition of cutting off drunken patrons with a slap of “sea water” delivered by a bartender throwing a glass of water in their face. If interested, contact Sallie O’Hara at ohara@scenica1a.org or call 540-0402.

Case Logic

That’s Our Man!

“Frivolous” and “entirely devoid of merit” — What U.S. District Judge J. Randal Hall called a request by St. Augustine activists Ed Slavin and Judith Seraphin to be part of a bankruptcy reorganization plan by Morris Publishing Group, the company that owns The Florida Times-Union and St. Augustine Record. The pair claimed they should be able to weigh in on the reorganization because they have an interest in reversing the decline in the quality of the chain’s newspapers. Also last week, the St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office took Slavin into custody on an outstanding warrant from the Tennessee Supreme Court, related to a contempt of court charge.

“Incredibly unpopular” — How the Times-Union described Gov. Rick Scott in a headline of a story about a recent survey by the Public Policy Polling group, which found that 55 percent of voters disapprove of Scott’s performance, making him one of the least-liked governors in the nation. The group usually polls for the Democratic Party.

Wheel of Fortune “I just try not to ask a lot of questions.” — Keith Waller, owner of Monroe’s Smokehouse BBQ in Jacksonville and Monroe’s On the Go food truck, reacting to a bill now in City Council committee that would kill the city’s gourmet food truck business before the trend really arrives. The bill would require a one-mile buffer between transient merchants and businesses that sell similar products. Waller says he is afraid the city will find some regulation to prevent him from operating if he asks what’s permitted and what isn’t.

APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 9

Tax Facts Hardly Anyone Knows

Tax expert David Cay Johnston lifts the veil on who really pays — and who doesn’t

or three decades, we have conducted a massive economic experiment, testing a theory known as supply-side economics. The theory goes like this: Lower tax rates will encourage more investment, which in turn will mean more jobs and greater prosperity — so much so that tax revenues will go up, despite lower rates. The late Milton Friedman, the libertarian economist who wanted to shut down public parks because he considered them socialism, promoted this strategy. Ronald Reagan embraced Friedman’s ideas and made them into policy when he was elected president in 1980. For the past decade, we have doubled down on this theory of supply-side economics with the tax cuts sponsored by Pres. George W. © 2011 Bush in 2001 and 2003, which Pres. Obama has agreed to continue for two years. You would think that whether this grand experiment worked would be settled after three decades. You’d think practitioners of the dismal science of economics would look at their demand curves and the data on incomes and taxes and pronounce a verdict, the way Galileo and Copernicus did when they showed that geocentrism was a fantasy because Earth revolves around the sun (known as heliocentrism). But economics is not like that. It is not like physics, with its laws, and arithmetic, with its absolute values. Tax policy is something the Framers left to politics. And in politics, the facts often matter less than who has the biggest bullhorn. The Mad Men who once ran campaigns featuring doctors extolling the health benefits of smoking are now busy marketing the dogma that tax cuts mean broad prosperity, no matter what the facts show. As millions of Americans prepare to file their annual taxes, they do so in an environment of media-perpetuated tax myths. Here are a few points about taxes and the economy that you may not know, to consider as you prepare to file your taxes. (All figures are inflation-adjusted.)

FolioWeekly

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1. Poor Americans do pay taxes. Gretchen Carlson, the FOX News host, said last year that “47 percent of Americans don’t pay any taxes.” John McCain and Sarah Palin both said similar things about the bottom half of Americans during their 2008

presidential campaign. Ari Fleischer, former Bush White House spokesman, once said that “50 percent of the country gets benefits without paying for them.” Actually, they pay lots of taxes — just not lots of federal income taxes. Data from the Tax Foundation shows that in 2008, the average income for the bottom half of taxpayers was $15,300. This year, the first $9,350 of income

data is available). But people forget that the income tax makes up less than half of federal taxes and only one-fifth of taxes at all levels of government. Social Security, Medicare and unemployment insurance taxes (known as payroll taxes) are paid mostly by the bottom 90 percent of wage-earners. That’s because, once you earn $106,800 of income, you pay no more

At first blush, the 52 percent German tax burden seems horrendous. But in Germany, tax-supported institutions provide many of the things Americans pay for with after-tax dollars. Buying wholesale rather than retail saves money. is exempt from taxes for singles and $18,700 for married couples, just slightly more than in 2008. That means millions of the poor do not make enough to owe income taxes. But they still pay plenty of other taxes, including federal payroll taxes. Between gas taxes, sales taxes, utility taxes and other taxes, no one lives tax-free in America. When it comes to state and local taxes, the poor bear a heavier burden than the rich in all 50 states, as Citizens for Tax Justice calculated from official data. In Alabama, for example, the burden on the poor is more than twice that on the top 1 percent. The one-fifth of Alabama families making less than $13,000 pay almost 11 percent of their income in state and local taxes, compared with less than 4 percent for those who make $229,000 or more. 2. The wealthiest Americans don’t carry the burden. This is one of those oft-used canards. Sen. Rand Paul, the Tea Party favorite from Kentucky, told David Letterman recently that “the wealthy do pay most of the taxes in this country.” The Internet is awash with statements that the top 1 percent pays, depending on the year, 38 percent or more than 40 percent of taxes. It’s true that the top 1 percent of wageearners paid 38 percent of the federal income taxes in 2008 (the most recent year for which

for Social Security, though the much-smaller Medicare tax applies to all wages. Warren Buffett pays the exact same amount of Social Security taxes as someone who earns $106,800. 3. In fact, the wealthy are paying fewer taxes. The Internal Revenue Service issues an annual report on the 400 highest incometaxpayers. In 1961, there were 398 taxpayers who made $1 million or more, so I compared their income tax burdens from that year to the 2007 data. Despite skyrocketing incomes, the federal tax burden on the richest 400 has been slashed, thanks to a variety of loopholes, allowable deductions and other tools. The actual share of their income paid in taxes, according to the IRS, is 16.6 percent. Adding payroll taxes barely nudges that number. Compare that to the vast majority of Americans, whose share of their income going to federal taxes increased from 13.1 percent in 1961 to 22.5 percent in 2007. (By the way, during seven of the eight Bush years, the IRS report on the top 400 taxpayers was labeled a state secret, a policy that Obama overturned almost instantly after his inauguration.) 4. Many of the very richest pay no current income taxes at all. John Paulson, the most successful hedge-fund

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April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 11

Since President Ronald Reagan won the election promising prosperity through tax cuts, the average income for the bottom 90 percent of Americans has increased a meager $303, or 1 percent.

manager of all, bet against the mortgage market one year and then bet with Glenn Beck in the gold market the next. Paulson made himself $9 billion in fees in just two years. His current tax bill on that $9 billion? Zero. Congress lets hedge-fund managers earn all they can today and pay their taxes years from now. In 2007, Congress debated whether hedge-fund managers should pay the top tax rate that applies to wages, bonuses and other compensation for their labors, which is 35 percent. That tax rate starts at about $300,000 of taxable income; not even pocket change to Paulson, but almost 12 years of gross pay to the median-wage worker. The Republicans and a key Democrat, Sen. Charles Schumer of New York, fought to keep the tax rate on hedge-fund managers at 15 percent, arguing that the profits from hedge funds should be considered capital gains, not ordinary income, which got a lot of attention in the news. What the news media missed is that hedgefund managers don’t pay even 15 percent. At least, not currently. So long as they leave their money, known as “carried interest,” in the hedge fund, their taxes are deferred. They only pay taxes when they cash out, which could be decades from now for younger managers. How do these hedge-fund managers get money in the meantime? By borrowing against the carried interest, often at absurdly low rates — currently about 2 percent. Lots of other people live tax-free, too. I have Donald Trump’s tax records for four years early in his career. He paid no taxes for two of those years. Big real estate investors enjoy tax-free living under a 1993 law Pres. Clinton signed. It lets “professional” real estate investors use paper losses, like depreciation on their buildings, against any cash income, even if they end up with negative incomes like Trump. Frank and Jamie McCourt, who own the Los Angeles Dodgers, have not paid any income taxes since at least 2004, their divorce case revealed. Yet they spent $45 million one year alone. How? They just borrowed against Dodger ticket revenue and other assets. To the IRS, they look like paupers. In Wisconsin, Terrence Wall, who unsuccessfully sought the Republican nomination for U.S. Senate in 2010, paid no income taxes on as much as $14 million of 12 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

recent income, his disclosure forms showed. Asked about his living tax-free while working people pay taxes, he had a simple response: Everyone should pay less. 5. And (surprise!) since the Reagan Administration, only the wealthy have gained significant income. The Heritage Foundation, the Cato Institute and similar conservative marketing organizations relentlessly tell us that lower tax rates will make us all better off. “When tax rates are reduced, the economy’s growth rate improves and living standards increase,” according to Daniel J. Mitchell, an economist at Heritage until he joined Cato. He says that supply-side economics is “the simple notion that lower tax rates will boost work, saving, investment and entrepreneurship.” When Reagan was elected president, the marginal tax rate for income was 70 percent. He cut it to 50 percent and then 28 percent, starting in 1987. It was raised by George H.W. Bush and Clinton, and then cut by George W. Bush. The top rate is now 35 percent. Since 1980, when Ronald Reagan won his election promising prosperity through tax cuts, the average income of the vast majority — the bottom 90 percent of Americans — has increased a meager $303, or 1 percent. Put another way: For each dollar people in the vast majority made in 1980, their income was up to $1.01 in 2008. Those at the top did better. The top 1 percent’s average income more than doubled to $1.1 million, according to an analysis of tax data by economists Thomas Piketty and Emmanuel Saez. The really rich, the top 10th of 1 percent, each enjoyed almost $4 in 2008, for each 1980 dollar. The top 300,000 Americans now enjoy almost as much income as the bottom 150 million, the data show. 6. When it comes to corporations, the story is much the same — fewer taxes. Corporate profits in 2008, the latest year for which data is available, were $1,830 billion, up almost 12 percent from $1,638.7 in 2000. Yet, even though corporate tax rates have not been cut, corporate income-tax revenues fell to $230 billion from $249 billion — an 8 percent decline, thanks to a number of loopholes. The official 2010 profit numbers are not added

up and released by the government, but the amount paid in corporate taxes is: In 2010, they fell further, to $191 billion — a decline of more than 23 percent, compared with 2000. 7. Some corporate tax breaks destroy jobs. Despite all the noise that America has the world’s second-highest corporate tax rate, the actual taxes paid by corporations are falling because of the growing number of loopholes and companies shifting profits to tax havens like the Cayman Islands. And right now, America’s corporations are sitting on close to $2 trillion in cash that’s not being used to build factories, create jobs or anything else, but acts as an insurance policy for managers unwilling to take the risk of actually building the businesses they’re paid so well to run. That cash hoard, by the way, works out to nearly $13,000 per taxpaying household. A corporate tax rate that’s too low actually destroys jobs. That’s because a higher tax rate encourages businesses (who don’t want to pay taxes) to keep the profits in the business and reinvest, rather than pull them out as profits and have to pay high taxes. The 2004 American Jobs Creation Act, which passed with bipartisan support, allowed more than 800 companies to bring profits that were untaxed but overseas, back to the United States. Instead of paying the usual 35 percent tax, the companies paid just 5.25 percent. The companies said bringing the money home — “repatriating” it, they called it — would mean lots of jobs. Sen. John Ensign, the Nevada Republican, put the figure at 660,000 new jobs. The drug company Pfizer was the biggest beneficiary. It brought home $37 billion, saving $11 billion in taxes. Almost immediately, it started firing people. Since the law took effect, Pfizer has let 40,000 workers go. In all, it appears that at least 100,000 jobs were destroyed. Now Congressional Republicans and some Democrats are gearing up again to pass another tax holiday, promoting a new Jobs Creation Act. It would affect 10 times as much money as the 2004 law. 8. Republicans like taxes, too. Pres. Reagan signed into law 11 tax increases, targeted at people down the income ladder. His administration and the Washington press corps called the increases “revenue enhancers.” Among other things, Reagan hiked Social Security taxes so high that the government has collected more than $2 trillion in surplus tax since 2008.

George W. Bush signed a tax increase, too, in 2006, despite his written ironclad pledge to never raise taxes on anyone. It raised taxes on teenagers by requiring kids, up to age 17, who earned money, to pay taxes at their parents’ tax rate, which would almost always be higher than the rate they would otherwise pay. It was a story that ran buried inside The New York Times one Sunday, but nowhere else. In fact, thanks to Republicans, one in three Americans will pay higher taxes this year than they did last year. First, some history. In 2009, Pres. Obama pushed his own tax cut — for the working class. He persuaded Congress to enact the Making Work Pay Tax Credit. Over two years (2009 and ’10), it saved single workers up to $800 and married heterosexual couples up to $1,600, even if only one spouse worked. The top 5 percent or so of taxpayers were denied this tax break. The Obama Administration called it “the biggest middle-class tax cut” ever. Yet last December, the Republicans, back in control of the House of Representatives, killed Obama’s Making Work Pay Tax Credit while extending the Bush tax cuts for two more years — a policy Obama agreed to. By doing so, Congressional Republican leaders increased taxes on a third of Americans, all of them the working poor, this year. As a result, of the 155 million households in the tax system, 51 million will pay an average of $129 more this year. That is $6.6 billion in higher taxes for the working poor, the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center estimated. In addition, the Republicans changed the rate of workers’ FICA contributions, which finances half of Social Security. The result: If you are single and make less than $20,000, or married and less than $40,000, you lose under this plan. But the top 5 percent, people who make more than $106,800, will save $2,136 ($4,272 for two-career couples). 9. Other countries do it better. We measure our economic progress, and our elected leaders debate tax policy, in terms of a crude measure known as gross domestic product. The way the official statistics are put together, each dollar spent buying solar energy equipment counts the same as each dollar spent investigating murders. We do not give any measure of value to time spent raising children or growing our own vegetables, or to time off for leisure and community service.

Republicans like taxes, too. Pres. Reagan signed into law 11 tax increases. George W. Bush signed a tax increase, too, in 2006, despite his written ironclad pledge to never raise taxes on anyone.

April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 13

Frank and Jamie McCourt, who own the Los Angeles Dodgers, have not paid any income taxes since at least 2004, according to their divorce records, yet they spent $45 million one year alone. How? They just borrowed against Dodger ticket revenue and other assets. To the IRS, they look like paupers.

And we do not measure the economic damage done by shocks, such as losing a job, which means not only loss of income and depletion of savings, but loss of health insurance, which a Harvard Medical School study found results in 45,000 unnecessary deaths each year. Compare this to Germany, one of many countries with a smarter tax system and smarter spending policies. Germans work less, make more per hour and get much better parental leave than Americans, many of whom get no fringe benefits such as health care, pensions or even a retirement savings plan. By many measures, the vast majority live better in Germany than in America. To achieve this, German workers on average pay 52 percent of their income in taxes. Americans average 30 percent, according to the Organizations for Economic Cooperation and Development. At first blush, the German tax burden seems horrendous. But in Germany (as well as Britain, France, Scandinavia, Canada, Australia and Japan), tax-supported institutions provide many of the things Americans pay for with after-tax dollars. Buying wholesale rather than retail saves money. A proper comparison would take the 30 percent average tax on American workers and add their out-of-pocket spending on health care, college tuition and fees for services and compare that with taxes that the average German pays. Add it all up and the combination of tax and personal spending is roughly equal in both countries, but with a large risk of catastrophic loss in America, and a tiny risk in Germany. Americans take on $85 billion of debt each year for higher education, while college is financed by taxes in Germany and tuition is cheap to free in other modern countries. While soaring medical costs are a key reason that since

1980, bankruptcy in America has increased 15 times faster than population growth, no one in Germany or the rest of the modern world goes broke because of accident or illness. And child poverty in America is the highest among modern countries — almost twice the rate that in Germany, which is close to the average of modern countries. On the corporate tax side, the Germans encourage reinvestment at home and the outsourcing of low-value work, like auto assembly, and German rules tightly control accounting so that profits earned at home cannot be made to appear as profits earned in tax havens. Adopting the German system is not the answer for America. But crafting a tax system that benefits the vast majority, reduces risks, provides universal health care and focuses on diplomacy rather than militarism abroad (and at home) would be a lot smarter than what we have now. Here is a question to ask yourself: We started down this road with Reagan’s election in 1980 and upped the ante in this century with George W. Bush. How long does it take to conclude that a policy has failed to fulfill its promises? And as you think of that, keep in mind George Washington. When he fell ill, his doctors followed the common wisdom of the era. They cut him and bled him to remove bad blood. As Washington’s condition grew worse, they bled him more. And like the mantra of tax cuts for the rich, they kept applying the same treatment until they killed him. Luckily, we don’t bleed the sick anymore, but we are bleeding our government to death.

David Cay Johnston is a columnist for tax.com and teaches the tax, property and regulatory law of the ancient world at Syracuse University College of Law and Whitman School of Management. He has been called the “de facto chief tax enforcement officer of the United States” because his reporting in The New York Times shut down many tax dodges and schemes, just two of which were valued by Congress at $260 billion. Johnston received a 2001 Pulitzer Prize for exposing tax loopholes and inequities. He wrote two bestsellers on taxes, “Perfectly Legal” and “Free Lunch.” Later this year, he will release a new book, “The Fine Print,” revealing how big business, with help from politicians, abuses plain English to rob you blind. 14 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

David Cay Johnston themail@folioweekly.com

APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 15

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Personal Narrative

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Lydia Cladek’s home in the exclusive gated community of Sea Colony in St. Augustine Beach (1). Her 2010 mugshot (2). Traveling as part of the Nobel Women’s Initiative on a 2008 trip to the Thai-Burma border (3).

Working Girl

My days as special assistant to Lydia Cladek* Advertising proof this is a copyright protected proof © M I

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y first contact with Lydia Cladek and her husband, Steve, was at the restaurant where I worked in Vilano Beach. I was their waitress, and 260-9770. rUn dAte: 040511 even after I quit my server job, I’d return just to wait on them. Steve was emphatic when making reservations that he wanted me as their server, Produced by ab Checked by soSales I wouldRep makerm a command performance. One day, Lydia called the restaurant asking for my phone number, suggesting she had an opportunity for me. One of the owners took her number, and passed it along to me. Lydia invited me to her office on Old Mission Avenue, down the street from the big cross off San Marco. Lydia Cladek Inc. was located in a house converted into office space, where several rescued cats lazed around on desktops and windowsills, sharing space with 20 employees. I climbed the stairs to her office on the second floor, and was greeted by Lydia’s dog, Norma, a suspicious yellow mutt who barked at a shrill pitch until Lydia assured her I was “OK.” I sat across from her and she picked up a mechanical pencil, and began to draw on a blank piece of paper. While she drew, she explained she was building a house in Sea Colony. She drew the floor plan of the home, emphasizing the porches built off every room. Lydia asked me if I would like to care for her home like it was my own. She wanted a staff to run her house. We negotiated my salary, and I left her office. The groundbreaking was scheduled, but the job would not come to fruition for two more years. © 2011 On the surface, Lydia appeared easy-going. She was approachable and soft-spoken, and dressed her petite figure casually, in wrinkled linen pants, Birkenstocks and simple T-shirts. Any make-up she used was minimal, and she wore simple jewelry — dainty silver earrings and maybe a necklace with a small charm of a bird. She never wore a wedding band or any rings. She was fit and tan; she looked healthy. For years, I did not know her age, and could not begin to guess. The one thing that always surprised me, though, was Lydia’s laugh. She’d throw her head back and hoot, her voice echoing in the stairwell and bouncing off the tiles like she wanted everyone in the building to hear it.

FolioWeekly

*Cladek was arrested in late November 2010 and indicted on multiple fraud counts in a $100 million Ponzi scheme that investigators say defrauded an estimated 1,400 investors. She is being held in lieu of $5 million bond. 16 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

n February 2004, Lydia’s home in Sea Colony got its certificate of occupancy, and my work began. The new house was empty, and everything — except a KitchenAid standing mixer and white, plastic-handled flatware — was new, purchased specifically for the home. The living room and study had custom-made Henredon couches and club chairs. The dining room table for 12 was built to match the shape of the tray ceiling above it. Bar stools, built especially to accommodate Lydia’s small frame, bordered the 20-foot Jerusalem marble counter in the kitchen. Each day, more items were brought in; the home gradually filled with custom-made Stickley cabinets, bookshelves, armoires, dressers and mattresses of organic materials. The home and guest quarters were a combined 7,000 square feet. (Take a 360° tour of the home’s interior at bit.ly/cladekhome.) UPS appeared at least once a day. Barnes & Noble delivered a shipment of books for the shelves in the study, halls and master suite. Some books were chosen for content, others for aesthetic reasons: The colors of the spines matched the décor. Forty pieces of teak furniture were installed on the various porches. An antique grand piano fit comfortably in the corner of the living room. The design team gave everything a place, and handed the invoices to me. I wrote checks, and Lydia signed them. As new furnishings came into the house, Lydia squealed with excitement, and clapped her little hands; it would not have surprised me if she had levitated.

uring the day, Lydia’s home was full of activity. The design team, movers, housekeepers, the pool man, gardeners, the pet sitters, Cindy the dog whisperer, Bill her life coach, Kevin, the “man who gave light,” even reiki healers for Norma the dog and Shadow the diabetic cat. She hosted a women’s group that met once a week to exchange ideas on the universe. She left notes around the house that read, ”I am not jealous of others’ success, there is room for everyone to prosper.” By evening, everyone cleared out, and Lydia was home alone. (Less than a year after they moved to Sea Colony, her husband Steve moved to Captiva Island.) Nothing about her life was conventional, but she seemed content. As her personal assistant, I was armed with two American Express gold cards to shop for her. In the mornings, there was often a list, with computer printouts of what I was to shop for

online. Vitamins, supplements, herbs, Melaleuca wellness products, specialized raw diet dog food, flax linen clothing, Rondel wine glasses and Wedgewood china were among the items listed, along with selections from an olive oil club and a gourmet cheese club. When the Wedgewood china arrived, we unpacked it, and I left a note letting her know it was in the house. The next day, a Wedgewood coffee saucer was sitting next to the sink, with a sponge on it. How wealthy are you when your kitchen sponge sits on a piece of china rimmed with 22k gold? I never felt like I really knew Lydia. She doled out bits and pieces of herself. I know her birth date — June 8, 1944 — and I used to know the name of the hair color she used, though I’ve forgotten it now. I know she’s a vegetarian, and that she worked in Chicago as a nurse. I know people invested in her company because she was friendly, confident and looked very successful. In fact, after she built her Sea Colony home, she used it to impress potential investors. (It worked). Her religious convictions are unconventional, focused on success and positive thinking. She likes animals much more than she likes children. She never seemed attached to material goods; she set the table with her cheap plastic and stainless steel flatware alongside her fine bone china. She liked to drink a Wild Turkey old-fashioned at the end of her day, and she preferred cherries with stems. Despite the fact that I know all these details about Lydia, the woman herself remains a puzzle to me, with many missing pieces.

he FBI raided Lydia’s office and homes in Sanibel, Captiva and St. Augustine in March 2010. Her bank accounts were seized. Lydia was nowhere to be found. Days later, another employee and I went to the house to get our personal things. On the dining room table, next to the warrant from the FBI, was a kitchen towel that read ”Let me know when I am no longer needed, and I shall go.” Who needed her? The people who invested in her company and lost their savings needed her. But they, like everyone else she left behind, were out of luck. Her employees were out of a job. Her husband did not have an income. And she left Norma behind with Kami the dog walker. Where did she go? What had she been doing? Where did all the money go? Was it her intention to live like a queen until the money ran out? Was she delusional, thinking the Ponziinvestment gravy train would last forever? Who is she, really? The same woman who wrote me notes of praise about my quiche also got angry if she ran out of paper towels on the weekend. She was a vegetarian who had Kami boil chicken every day for her dog. She liked to have her home decorated for Christmas, but celebrated the holiday with no one. She had a beautiful master suite, but often slept on the couch. She rescued frogs from her pool. She posted a “do not disturb” sign on the cabana bath when birds nested there. Lydia’s gross mismanagement of investors’ money is criminal. She was generous with money that was not hers. In jail, she isn’t wearing organic linen, she has no pets, the floors aren’t heated like they were in her home. I wonder how she is adapting. Working for Lydia Cladek was one of the most challenging and exciting jobs I’ve had. I only wish that what happened around her had been true, instead of a lie. Heather Saalfeld themail@folioweekly.com APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 17

Sportstalk

Weaver on the Wane

Why the shoe man’s sore-loser act doesn’t quite fit

18 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

ull disclosure: I didn’t vote in this year’s municipal primary elections. I am one of that benighted 71 percent, that great Silent Majority who chose muteness over Moran or Mullaney, who wasn’t down with Brown or hopin’ for Hogan. I know, I know, abdication of civic duty, amirite? That’s what everyone’s been telling me. Folks on the tee vee; phantom friends on Facebook. And even people more important than that. As a non-voter, I don’t enjoy people telling me what to do. Yet this is what happened when Wayne Weaver — one of the minority who voted — did when he cut a promo about slack voter turnout in the hours after his preferred candidate, Audrey Moran, jobbed despite the popular prediction that she would make the runoff and go on to transform Jacksonville, or give it a bridge to the 21st century, or whatever it was the voters passed on. Weaver, who with his wife gave $50k to the Moran effort, cast “shame on this community for not turning out for this election.” I don’t know if “shame” is in order. People knew there was an election. They were aware of the major players. They knew the buzzwords, that Conservative Rick Mullaney was running against Conservative Mike Hogan and that Moran was to represent a break from the status quo. They probably knew a bit about Alvin Brown, but since he didn’t really buy ads, his name recognition was low. They knew about it; they just boycotted it. In her short story, “Job History,” Annie Proulx closes by saying of her main character that he no longer “had time to pay attention to the news.” Many people are in that same position. Wack work schedules, dysfunctional relationships, the collective feeling that we are all running at a break-neck pace just to maintain our current spots on the totem pole — these are things that are not only politically disenfranchising, but personally disenfranchising as well. Things that sap one’s will to live. Things that make every day a suicide watch. The things that poor people, bereft of hope and future, go through; things the Weavers may have read about. Wayne Weaver has put a lot of time and money into Jacksonville, and he’s been a decent front man for the city’s image when it has been in his interest to do so. But when he hasn’t gotten his way, he has been petulant. This is another occasion where his petulance comes through. His candidate didn’t go over. There are many reasons for this. Brown had the advantage of being the real Democrat in the race; Hogan cultivated Republican grassroots. Moran ran a

campaign targeting those with triple-digit IQs; in Jacksonville, that rarely works. Elections are always lost, and we always move on. We’ll see the GOP close ranks around Hogan within weeks, and Weaver will find Hogan to be a solid business partner going forward. That said, does Weaver imagine that, if more people had voted, the result would have been different? Hogan still would’ve had his Tea Party advantage, and Brown would’ve had the advantage of party

Weaver’s candidate didn’t go over. There are many reasons for this. Moran ran a campaign targeting those with triple-digit IQs; in Jacksonville, that rarely works. structure. Moran’s support — her coalitional base — was as strong as anyone’s. But ultimately, her appeal didn’t prove broad enough. Another qualm I have with Weaver’s words is that, considering the NFL labor situation, maybe he’d want to avoid speaking on any civic issue. Real talk: Part of the problem the NFL faces is that there are too many teams. And the popular perception is that the Jaguars are one of those excess franchises, even though last year was blackout-free. Other franchises have their own issues — San Diego, Minnesota, Oakland, Tampa and more this year, to be sure. Eventually, folks will start talking like LeBron did, saying maybe it’d be better if there were 22 or 24 teams. Because the bubble has burst, and the dreams some had of a global NFL very likely won’t come to fruition. Wayne Weaver has always had a retro approach to presentation. The abandonment of the black alternate jerseys, because of his misguided belief that they diminished the Jags’ brand identity, is one example. His continued insistence on mascot shoe races in the end zone at each game likewise seems archaic. Perhaps we can put his expectation that people have some sort of obligation to vote in the same box. Apathy, whatever one may think of it, is an option — and a message to the political elite in its own right. AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com

Mad Money G

uess what, buttheads? Today marks my employer’s most hated time of year, also known as “contract renegotiation day”! For me, it’s like Christmas, Halloween and Mardi Gras all rolled up into one. For my boss, it’s more like 9/11, leukemia and tofu wrapped in a poop tortilla. True, I’ve often been labeled a “difficult negotiator” — but I always get results! (Dear employer: Spoiler alert ahead! Can you please excuse yourself, so I can reveal my most cunning negotiation secrets? THANKS.) Negotiation Secret No. 1: Always appear like you’re asking for a small amount of money, when actually it’s an enormous amount of money. Example: I’ll ask to be paid only three cents per TV column — BUT! In addition, I must also be paid $97 per letter (including

As you can see, Weiner came close to telling AMC to cram it up their baloney holes. spaces). That comes out to roughly $485,000.03 per column, which makes my boss freak out and say, “OMG!! I can’t afford $485,000.03!” “OK,” I say calmly. “Then how about half that — $300 per column?” (Which is, of course, not even close to correct, but that’s the point: He’ll be so confused, he’ll give me the $300 I ask for, just to avoid a brain seizure.) Negotiation Secret No. 2: Always include a “rider.” You know … like the stuff rock stars demand for their dressing rooms? For example, my rider includes finding the following on my desk every morning: one thong with “Home of the Whopper” handstitched on the crotch. Three tubes of airplane glue. Five boxes of Totino’s Pizza Rolls. One hamster named “Karen.” One pair of “nude” nylons. One “High School Musical”-brand hand sanitizer. Tissues! And a loaded revolver … just in case. Negotiation Secret No. 3: Agree to your employer’s crazy demands — but only in exchange for $30 million. As you may have read, negotiations for season five of AMC’s “Mad Men” almost ground to a halt. The network promised to pay creator/runner Matthew Weiner a whopping $30 million — IF he added “product placements” within the show (he refused), cut two minutes per episode for commercials (he mostly agreed) and eliminate two characters (refused, but agreed to limit the cast budget). As you can see, Weiner came close to telling AMC to cram it up their baloney holes (my phrasing, not his), but by agreeing to a few demands, he got his $30 mil and we’ll get our season five of “Mad Men” — probably by spring 2012. Me? I’d have done things a bit differently. Such as, CAVING IN TO ALL THEIR DEMANDS AND TAKING THE MONEY! For $30 million, I’d happily mention Hormel Chili in each and every column. For $30 mil, I’d ecstatically cut 200 words, just to make room for more Hormel Chili ads. For $30 cool ones, I’d cheerfully cut two regular “characters” from my column (maybe the phrases “baloney hole” and “diaper gravy”). And YES — if asked, for $30

million I’d happily murder you as you sleep. Yes, you read that right: I’ll sneak into your house while you blissfully snore away and strangle you with my nylons (see rider for details). Oops, here comes my boss to renegotiate my contract. Let’s hope you haven’t pissed him off lately.

TUESDAY, APRIL 5 8:00 ABC NO ORDINARY FAMILY

Season finale! The season ends for this superhero family drama which will (probably) fly off into cancellation. 9:30 FOX TRAFFIC LIGHT

Because he’s a dick, Mike lobbies his boss to get a raise in order to make more money than his wife.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6 9:30 FOX BREAKING IN

Debut! A new workplace comedy starring Christian Slater (whom I don’t recall inviting back). 10:30 COM WORKAHOLICS

Debut! Three college roomies get stupid jobs as telemarketers in this potentially hilarious new series!

THURSDAY, APRIL 7 8:00 CW VAMPIRE DIARIES

Matt can’t convince the sheriff that a vampire killed his sister. Hasn’t this guy seen “Twilight”??

11:00 SHO GIGOLOS

Debut! A new reality series about men who sell their bodies in Las Vegas! (Sadly, I’m not involved.)

FRIDAY, APRIL 8 9:00 HBO THE RICKY GERVAIS SHOW

Ricky, Stephen and Karl discuss “art” — and Karl knows absolutely nothing about it.

SATURDAY, APRIL 9 9:00 SYFY FEROCIOUS PLANET — Movie

(2011) When their experiment malfunctions, scientists are transported to the “ass-eating beast” dimension. 10:00 TLC LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX

What do today’s teens think about sex? If they can stop f*cking for a second, maybe we’ll find out.

SUNDAY, APRIL 10 9:00 COM THE COMEDY AWARDS

A new awards show celebrating the best in pants-wetting comedy, featuring Tina Fey, Andy Samberg and more! 10:00 AMC THE KILLING

Police think a teen’s murder may be connected to something called “The Cage” in a high school basement. Umm … ew!

MONDAY, APRIL 11 8:00 FOX HOUSE

It’s the 150th episode, and the gang celebrates by holding a “spud gun competition.” Was that splash the sound of a shark jumping? 8:00 AMC DELIVERANCE — Movie

(1972) My fave deadly hillbilly movie featuring half-naked Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty squealing like a pig. Wm.™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 19

20 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

YOUNG COUNTRY DAVID NAIL

Reasons to leave the house this week

Inspired by everyone from Stevie Wonder and The Beatles to Elton John and Glen Campbell, country singer David Nail has gone on to blend his varied influences into chart gold with his ’09 hits “Red Light” and “Turning Home,” both cracking the Billboard Top 40. The Grammy-nominated 31-year-old grew up in Kennett, Mo., superstar Sheryl Crow’s hometown. What are they feeding those kids out there? Nail performs along with Walker Hayes on Saturday, April 9 at 6 p.m. at Mavericks Rock N’ Honky Tonk Concert Hall, The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. Advance tickets are $10 and $20 (upstairs); $15 and $25 day of show. 356-1110.

LOCAL THREADS THE DROP SHOW

Work it, Bubba! Sashay that thang, Pace! A halfdozen Northeast Florida indie clothing designers flaunt their wares at The Drop Show fashion event, which includes a runway show featuring a live performance by BLORR, a hairstyle show, designers hawking their wares, a custom-T-shirt printing booth, beer and food and DJs. It goes down on Saturday, April 9 at 8 p.m. at Push Push Salon, 299 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Admission is $5. 547-2341. pushpushsalon.com

FILM CITRUS CEL FEST

The Citrus Cel Animation Film Festival is a three-day celebration of the art of animation offering screenings, art exhibitions, lectures and workshops. So whether you just really, really love Mickey Mouse’s 1928 debut in “Steamboat Willie” or have your own arcane views on the future of digital animation, this Riverside event has it all on Friday, April 8, Saturday, April 9 and Sunday, April 10 with screenings held at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., 359-0047. Workshops are held at The Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6587. Three-day passes are $65; $55 for students. To see a full schedule and purchase passes, check out citruscel.com

FLY DADDY LYRICS BORN

The raspy, basso profundo delivery, heady message and funky, dope-ass beats of rapper Lyrics Born are stone products of 21st-century hip hop. Tokyo-born Tsutomu “Tom” Shimura grew up in Berkley, Calif., and plugged into the experimental hip-hop culture of the Bay Area, a place that claims DJ Shadow, Blackalicious, Lateef the Truthspeaker and other like-minded, progressive artists who combine deep knowledge, consciousness-driven content and musically savvy big ears. LB peforms with openers Fusebox Funk on Wednesday, April 6 at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $12. 398-7496.

CHOW, BABY! BITE CLUB

The mealtime meetup known as Folio Weekly’s Bite Club makes its first culinary foray into the Ancient City when it hits the sophisticated wine bar Cellar 6, 6 Aviles St., St. Augustine on Monday, April 11 at 6:30 p.m. Bite Club, hosted by resident dining expert Caron Streibich, holds free monthly tastings for registered Bite Club members, who are selected for each event by answering questions on Streibich’s blog. To sign up for future tastings, or just to learn what Bite Club’s all about, go to fwbiteclub.com.

THE 5 BROWNS

The classical piano-rocking siblings known as The 5 Browns play on the fine line between mere novelty and possible genius. Siblings Desirae, Deondra, Gregory, Melody and Ryan grew up as homeschooled Mormons in Utah and went on to be the first-ever familial “party of five” to attend Juilliard. This crazy quintet is known to bust out everything from Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue” to music from the “Star Wars” soundtrack, all delivered by way of a thunderous 440 (88 X 5 for you public-school kids!) tickled ivories. They perform on Wednesday, April 6 at 7:30 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $31-$46. 632-3373. April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 21

The cast of “Sucker Punch” learns it’s slim pickins in the Religious Attire section at Charlie Sheen’s Tiger Blood & Fashion Outlet.

Slap Happy

Zach Snyder’s welterweight “Sucker Punch” should have been a contender Sucker Punch **@@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

22 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

sucker punch is defined as a surprise blow to the body, metaphorical shorthand for playing dirty to devastating effect. In reality, director Zach Snyder’s new film never really makes contact. There are tricks galore in “Sucker Punch,” but few of them connect. What we’re left with is a noisy spectacle of special effects that transforms an intriguing concept into a spectacular mess. But it is a neat idea, no doubt about that, with a terrific opening sequence. As the film begins — and without any dialogue — we learn the tragic fate of Baby Doll (Emily Browning) and her younger sister. After her mother’s death, Baby Doll’s monstrous stepfather discovers that all his wife’s assets go to the two daughters. Enraged, he tries to attack Baby Doll, then he goes after her younger sister. Exactly what happens next is unclear, but the result is that Baby Doll’s sister is dead while Baby Doll herself is shipped off to a home for the mentally insane. If only the rest of “Sucker Punch” were able to retain the narrative originality of the film’s earliest sequence. Challenging and ambiguous, the early scenes are a masterful blend of stylish effects and straightforward action. Once Baby Doll arrives at the institution, however, the film kicks into routine overdrive and special effects take over, turning the rest of the movie into an extended video game. There are three levels of reality in “Sucker Punch,” corresponding to the three-part narrative structure. In the here-and-now, Baby Doll learns that her stepfather and Blue Jones (Oscar Isaac), the institute’s main attendant, have conspired to have her lobotomized in five days. Still absorbing this fact, Baby Doll is introduced to her new environs, responding in particular to the theater therapy where the other girls act out the traumas that resulted in their being committed. From that point, the movie segues into Baby Doll’s perception of the asylum as a brothel of dancers, trained by Dr. Gorski (Carla Gugino). The evil doctor is now under orders from Blue Jones, who’s been transformed in Baby Doll’s

psyche from being a corrupt attendant to running the institute. Under the spell of Jones’ threats, Baby Doll discovers her unique talent is that of a mesmerizing dance, through which she enters yet another dimension — a place where she and her fellow inmates are ninjatype warriors tasked with destroying hordes of maleficent creatures. In the first of these hypnotic trances, Baby Doll meets her mysterious Sensei (Scott Glenn), who reappears in a different guise at each repetition of the dance, assigning to Baby Doll and her cohorts the task of acquiring four items to facilitate their release. The rest of “Sucker Punch” jumps from one level of reality to another and back, as the girls, trying to escape, battle demons. Guillermo del Toro applied the same narrative technique of blending fantasy and reality in “Pan’s Labyrinth,” but with far more substance and far fewer (and more effective) special effects. The results were superb, Oscar-nominated in fact. Snyder’s approach calls to mind the book version of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” where the narrator, a disturbed mental patient, perceives a radically different, though nonetheless real, form of reality. Snyder has the same idea for “Sucker Punch,” but the resulting video game-like graphics are less substantive, more like an extended X-Box or PS3 play. The fault is not with various actors (Browning, along with Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudges and Jenna Malone). They’re mere mannequins for the digital artists. The two actors with the most dialogue (Cornish and Malone) fare best, while Hudges is basically a kewpie doll in tights. Even the able Carla Gugino is bushwhacked, playing most of her scenes with an exaggerated accent. Essentially an extravaganza of special effects, “Sucker Punch” is ultimately KO’d by Snyder the screenwriter. The silly story is unable to transcend its arcade trappings, despite higher aspirations and considerably better models in earlier works. Zach Snyder remains a creative force to keep in mind, though. His next announced project is the rebirth of “Superman,” a subject more in keeping with his considerable talents. Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com

Failure to Launch

Time-traveling flick “Source Code” is an exercise in erasing 90 minutes from your life Source Code

Farmiga, playing way below the pay scale she **@@ deserves), decked out in a military uniform and reassuring him everything’s just fine and Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, dandy but he has to go back into Source Code Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark — which is the dumbest name for a computer Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, program ever; it’s like naming your dog “Dog” Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. — and trying again. Though no one can be told what Source Code is, it’s maybe like time travel f you haven’t already seen 2009’s “Moon,” or maybe not. Big-brained head honcho Dr. in which Sam Rockwell is a lonely lunar Rutledge (Jeffrey Wright) explains to Colter it’s astronaut making discoveries about his own like time reassignment or some such nonsense, identity, I beg you to do so before you see an idea vague enough to mean almost anything “Source Code,” which will put you off director Duncan Jones, which wouldn’t be fair to you, to (indeed, in the end, “Source Code” cheats by changing what Source Code is). Now Jake has Jones or to “Moon.” eight minutes back on that about-to-be-terroristOn the other hand, if your idea of a really bombed Chicago commuter train to find the good sci-fi time at the movies is something Roger Corman would’ve made for $4.98 in 1974 bomber and hence prevent the explosion. The stop-start narrative and action of but is now given a mega-budget and movie-star “Source Code” is like Harold Ramis’ 1993 treatment, then check out “Source Code.” If it cult fave “Groundhog Day” without the turns out to be your kind of explosion-rich, karma-correcting humanist philosophy, or quantum-leaping cup of tea, you can then safely one of those young adult “Choose Your Own skip “Moon,” which you’ll surely hate. 29 South Third St.the early ’80s. There’s Adventure” books from After the innovative “Moon,” Jones Downtown Fernandina repeating scenario inexplicably decided to make his first Hollywood not a lot of drama in theBeach (after all, there’s only so many ways to blow up outing with screenwriter Ben Ripley, who wrote a train), though Jake and Michelle and Vera — “Species III” and “Species: The Awakening,” most definitely Vera — try their damnedest. It’s films on par with what “Source Code” might not their fault “Source Code” seems pointless. have been if they’d been able to recruit some Whose fault is it? It’s screenwriter Ripley’s. musclebound guy from a Syfy network series After all the time-jumping and to-ing and for the starring role. Instead, the producers fro-ing, it gets to the point where you think somehow convinced the talented and buff Jake Gyllenhaal to sign on as lead man and action ace this film may finally do something tough and honest, but instead it goes nowhere. The film Captain Colter Stevens. Jake must have needed says “game over” so many times, movie-goers the money. no longer want to play along. When “Source As our story begins, Capt. Stevens wakes up Code” finally does something daring, it’s worse on a train, and even though he doesn’t know than a cheat: It’s horrific tragedy parading Christina, the woman sitting across from him as triumph. The whole endeavor could’ve (Michelle Monaghan, “Gone Baby Gone”), she been sort of decent, but ends up being hugely somehow knows him. Before he can figure out distasteful. Sci-fi fans who want to experiment their relationship, the train explodes in a really wasting an hour and a half should see “Source big explosion-y way, and they die. Roll credits. Code.” All others should wait for it on DVD Oh, how I wish! No, movie fans, Colter then wakes up … (better yet, cable) so they can decide the film’s somewhere. We don’t know where, he doesn’t fate and running time with that ever-powerful know where and he’s got some discoveries to space-age device: the remote control. make about his identity. Enter the calming Mary Ann Johanson presence of Carol Goodwin (awesome Vera themail@folioweekly.com

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“Gosh, ma’am! This is like déjà vu all over again!” Michelle Monaghan and Jake Gyllenhaal have a sneaking suspicion they’ll meet again in the timetripping sci-fi flick “Source Code.”

APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 23

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Patrick Wilson has a devil of an earache in the new horror flick “Insidious.”

Aidan Quinn, Andie MacDowell and Ryan Merriman star in this true-life drama about the tragic death of a young boy and the people whose lives were affected by his decision to be an organ donor.

FILM RATINGS **** MIRACLE ***@ MIRACLE **@@ MIRACLE *@@@ MIRACLE

WORKER EAR MILE WHIP

NOW SHOWING THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU ***G Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Matt Damon stars in this adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s sci-fi story about a rising politician and his relationship with a woman (Emily Blunt) who keeps coincidentally appearing in his life. BATTLE: LOS ANGELES Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Aaron Eckhart shines as Marine Sgt. Michael Nantz who leads a crew of soldiers who must defend the City of Angels from an Alien Invasion.

HOP

**@@

BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Hollywood River City Martin Lawrence as an FBI agent who dresses up like an overweight, meddling granny. Damn!

INSIDIOUS Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Tragedy strikes parents Josh (Patrick Wilson) and Renai (Rose Byrne) — then they’re terrorized by a supernatural force in this creepy horror flick.

BEASTLY Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Alex Pettyfer, Mary-Kate Olsen and Neil Patrick Harris star in this retelling of “Beauty and the Beast” set in modern-day Brooklyn. **@@

BIUTIFUL Rated R • Epic Theatre St. Augustine Javier Bardem got rave reviews for his performance in director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s story of Uxbal, a man who is trying to tie up the loose strings of his life as he deals with the certainty of his death. **G@

HALL PASS Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Hollywood River City Owen Wilson stars in the latest comedy from the Farrelly Brothers about a man whose wife gives him a chance to have an extramarital affair. The only problem? She plans on honoring the same freebie and get some newbie strange. **@@

**@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Just in time for Easter. This animated family feature tells the story of E.B. (voiced by Russell Brand), wayward son of the Easter Bunny, who decides to chuck the family business and follow his dreams of being a rock drummer. James Marsden, Elizabeth Perkins and Hank Azaria also lend their vocal talents.

***@

GNOMEO & JULIET ***@ Rated G • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square This cute animated retelling of Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” set in a land of garden gnomes, is an inventive and lighthearted way to hip the kids to one of the Bard’s beloved works.

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID 2: RODRICK RULES Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Cinematic sequel based on Jeff Kinney’s popular children’s books. **@@

THE 5TH QUARTER **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues

**@@

JUST GO WITH IT **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Beach Blvd. This rom-com is about a plastic surgeon (Adam Sandler) who gets his office manager (Jennifer Aniston) to pose as his disgruntled, soon-to-be-ex-wife in a bid to pick up women. THE KING’S SPEECH **** Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Pot Belly’s, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush deliver Oscar-winning performances in this uplifting based-on-real-life tale. LIMITLESS **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

24 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

After struggling author Eddie (Bradley Cooper) takes the experimental drug NZT, he discovers his brain is operating at its highest potential. Unfortunately, nefarious forces would also like to get their hands on Eddie’s stash of “happy pills” and will stop at nothing — not even murder. THE LINCOLN LAWYER Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Five Points Theatre, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., San Marco Theatre Matthew McConaughey revives his career and the courtroom drama as a lawyer who plays a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with a wealthy dangerous client, played by Ryan Phillipe. ***@

MARS NEEDS MOMS Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Regal Avenues Family-geared animated 3-D fare about young Milo (voiced by Seth Green) and his intergalactic adventure to save his mom, Lissa (voiced by Joan Cusack), from the fiendish clutches of Martians. **@@

PAUL ***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. “Hot Fuzz” and “Shaun of the Dead” faves Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are a blast in this UFO comedy about a pair of bumbling fanboys who have a too-close encounter with goofy alien Paul (voiced by Seth Rogen).

RANGO Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., San Marco Theatre Fun, creative animated flick that features the voices of Johnny Depp, Timothy Olyphant and Ned Beatty in the surreal saga of a lone lizard who rolls into a Wild Western town to save the day. ****

RED RIDING HOOD Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Leonardo DiCaprio produced this horror film, a retelling of the kids’ tale “Little Red Riding Hood,” starring Amanda Seyfreid, Shiloh Fernandez and Gary Oldman. **@@

SOURCE CODE Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Reviewed in this issue. **@@

SUCKER PUNCH **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Reviewed in this issue. UNKNOWN **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC

Regency Square Liam Neeson stars as a man who wakes up from an accident and realizes his former life no longer exists — and someone wants him dead! Yikes!

OTHER FILMS MOVIES IN THE PARK Downtown Vision Inc. begins its free series with “Cars” screened at 8 p.m. on April 8 at historic Treaty Oak at DuPont Park, 1123 Prudential Drive, Jacksonville. Bring picnics, chairs and blankets. Free parking in Suddath garage on Flagler Street. 451-3344. LAUREL & HARDY FILMS The silent short “The Finishing Touch” (1928) and 1930 sound shorts “Hog Wild,” “Night Owls” and “Another Fine Mess” are screened from 7-8:30 p.m. on April 11 at Pablo Creek branch library, 13295 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is free. 246-0312. MOVIE MATINEES “Enchanted April” is screened at 1 p.m. on April 7 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island. 278-3722. POT BELLY’S CINEMA “Blue Valentine,” “The King’s Speech,” “Black Swan,” “Barney’s Version” and “The Fighter” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101. 5 POINTS THEATRE Acclaimed director Abbas Kiarostami’s romantic drama, “Certified Copy,” starring Juliette Binoche and British opera singer William Shimell, benefits from an interesting narrative about their curious encounter in Tuscany. It runs at 9 p.m. on April 6 and 7 and 9 p.m. on April 7 at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. The Citrus Cel Film Animation Festival runs April 8, 9 and 10. “Idiots and Angels” is shown at 8 p.m.; “Crumb” runs at 11:30 p.m. on April 8. “Carbon Nation” is at 6:30 pm. on April 11. “Nosferatu” screens on April 12 and 13. 359-0047. WGHOF IMAX THEATER “The Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D” is screened along with “Hubble 3D,” “Space Station 3D” and “Under The Sea 3D,” at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, Exit 323 off I-95, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY BLACK SWAN Director Darren Aronofsky’s trippy psychological thriller stars Natalie Portman as a ballerina who becomes consumed by the darker corners of her psyche during a production of “Swan Lake.” TANGLED Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi lend their voices to Disney’s 50th animated feature film in this hip, fun retelling of the Rapunzel fairy tale. ALL GOOD THINGS Ryan Gosling, Kirsten Dunst and Frank Langella star in director Andrew Jarecki’s film that chronicles the stillunsolved missing persons scandal that rocked the wealthy Durst family in 1980s Manhattan. THE REAL CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST Accept no substitutes! This 1976 gore fest disguised as a documentary follows a British film crew in Papua New Guinea as they encounter a tribe of peckish, cannibal natives.

Child-actor-turned-conceptual-artist Zachary Gordon (left) convinces the cast of “Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules” to abandon filming and join him in his performance piece, “Sweet Temptation — Gnostic Christ in the Desert vs. the Fruit Leather Devil of all Dualities.”

APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 25

Future Blues: Tab Benoit and the Voice of the Wetlands All-Star Band play some of that thought-provokin’, rump-shakin’ boogie!

Pure Natural Blues

NOLA supergroup Voice of the Wetlands All-Stars blends environmental awareness and potent jams VOICE OF THE WETLANDS ALL-STARS featuring TAB BENOIT, CYRIL NEVILLE, ANDERS OSBORNE, BIG CHIEF MONK BOUDREAUX, JOHNNY VIDACOVICH, JUMPIN’ JOHNNY SANSONE and WAYLON THIBODEAUX Thursday, April 7 at 9 p.m. Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach Tickets are $32.50 and $40 247-6636

ith catastrophic natural disasters and nuclear nightmares plaguing Japan, revolution spreading across the Middle East, and the United States military embroiled in two (or is it three?) foreign wars, the average American might be forgiven for forgetting about little ol’ Louisiana. Yet over the last six years, the state has suffered its own cataclysmic combination of environmental, man-made and sociological tragedies, starting most famously with Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and extending into last summer’s devastating BP oil spill. For Houma-born, Cajun-raised bluesman Tab Benoit, there’s a larger, albeit quieter, issue that’s been affecting Louisiana for much longer — the state’s continually receding wetlands. Accounting for more than 80 percent of the United States’ coastal land loss — an estimated one acre of the state vanishes into the Gulf of Mexico every day — wetland disappearance in the Mississippi River delta plain likely accelerated Katrina’s ferocious floods, and certainly hasn’t been helped by the BP oil spill. Since the swampy, low-lying areas have served as the foundation of French Creole, Native American, Cajun and Acadian heritage over the last 400 years, their degradation has not only depleted animal habitats and drained valuable fisheries, but could lead to one of the worst cultural eradications in American history. Founded in 2003, Voice of the Wetlands originally started as a three-day Cajun music festival. “The only reason I got into music is because I knew it was the one talent that I had that I could help others with,” he told RootsWorld in 2010. “We have a limited amount of time to leave a positive stripe on the planet with whatever talents God gave us, and it just seemed like music kept coming up as a way to help.” After that first VOTW festival, Benoit and his All-Star Band of New Orleans legends

26 | folio weekly | April 5-11, 2011

including Waylon Thibodeaux, Dr. John, Allen Toussaint, Cyril Neville, Johnny Vidacovich, Big Chief Monk Boudreaux and “Jumpin’” Johnny Sansone collaborated to record the “Voice Of The Wetlands” album in early 2005. Fortuitously, “Bayou Breeze” featured a haunting chorus that begged, “Don’t let the water wash us away” — a plea that took on fresh life eight months later when Katrina roared ashore. From there, Voice of the Wetlands grew exponentially, with nationwide tours drawing widespread attention to the cause. Benoit’s prominent role in the 2006 documentary, “Hurricane on the Bayou,” raised eyebrows because of Shell Oil’s sponsorship of the project. But the irascible Dr. John took things a step further in 2009, hiring a plane to circle the New Orleans Jazz Fest, carrying a “Fix The Coast You Broke” banner aimed at Shell, the festival’s primary corporate sponsor. “This band wasn’t put together by a corporation that wants a great band that’s gonna do great benefit concerts,” Benoit told Offbeat Magazine. “We all got together because we all love this place. That’s what this band is all about.” Dr. John eventually had to apologize, but the message came through loud and clear, as it did when Benoit brought 50 New Orleans musicians to perform at both of 2008’s National Conventions — Republican and Democratic. He’s also testified before Congress and attended the G-20 climate summit, and has used awards like the 2009 Louisiana Governor’s Conservationist of the Year to advance his preservation efforts. Benoit’s no stranger to performing in the Jacksonville area — he headlined the George’s Music Springing The Blues Festival back in 2007 — and the VOTW All-Star Band is wellversed in getting fans moving. Undoubtedly, they’ll also get fans thinking about the slow destruction of one of America’s greatest national treasures. And Benoit will be there to talk about it after the show. “But I’m not just a musician who plays my show and then takes off,” he said in 2009. “I use it to open the door so that we can talk.” He added, “I’m going to fight this with everything I have because I’m fighting for my home. If you see me leaving, you better move fast, because the only way I’m going is if it’s all over.” Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com

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We’d like to teach world to sing (and scream): Brian Hennessey, Vivienne Rohan and Daniel Halal are Diet Cokeheads.

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Metallic overlords Diet Cokeheads are worthy contenders as North Florida’s brand-new heavies DIET COKEHEADS with BROKEN WATER and STIFF BINDLES Thursday, April 7 at 9 p.m. Budget Records, 212 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine Tickets are $5 806-7131

iet Cokeheads have been lurking in the shadows of the Gainesville noise-punk underground for several years now. The lowkey trio seems content to shun publicity, but one listen to their behemoth wall of sound will convert the most skeptical listener. Daniel Halal’s plodding bass attack, Brian Hennessey’s bludgeoning sheets of guitar distortion and Vivienne Rohan’s walloping drums share common roots with legendary Touch & Go bands like The Jesus Lizard and Big Black, while finding contemporary company with crust-punk/scuzz-metal outfits like Pissed Jeans and Liturgy. The band insists it’s an anomaly among the region’s bands, however. “We’re kind of separate musically from a lot of stuff that goes on here in Gainesville,” Halal says. “We just don’t connect on a personal or musical level with most crappy bar rock.” Asked about influences, Hennessey and Rohan joke that while on tour, the band mostly listens to Prince, Vanity 6, New Order and Morrissey, emphasizing that that kind of schizophrenic inspiration is par for the Diet Cokeheads’ course. “We like things that don’t sound like us,” Rohan says. After Rohan and Hennessey split with their original bass player in 2010, Halal, who runs the DIY Vinyl Rites label and has played in other antagonistically named bands like Religious As F*ck, gladly entered the Diet Cokeheads fold. That elevated the trio’s material from vaguely menacing and loud to eardrumpiercing and downright sinister. “I listen to a lot of [’80s UK punk heroes] Discharge and straightforward, aggressive music that I don’t think the rest of the band listens to,” Halal says. “Which kind of describes the change in our sound since I joined.” That lineup change also allowed Rohan to take up vocal duties alongside Hennessey, balancing the male guitarist’s jarring shrieks with some riot grrrl touches. This past January, the band opened for popular L.A. noise-punk savants No Age, and Diet Cokeheads’ egalitarian setup in the middle of the dance floor had the crowd bobbing inches from their strained faces

and thrashing instruments. It was an unusually welcoming vibe — especially considering their sludgy blitzkrieg sound. “We tend to play on the floor like that a lot,” Rohan says. “But we’re not opposed to playing on a stage.” Diet Cokeheads are also not opposed to managing all aspects of their existence; they’ve released all of their own 7-inches, handle all of their booking and are in no hurry to have a label tell them how to evolve. “We’re open to offers,” Halal says, “but I don’t think we’d want to work with anyone that we didn’t know or trust.” So far, the band has self-financed two runs up the East Coast, performing with concordant New York bands like The Men, Pollution and Nomos. They’ve also taken one journey deep into the Midwest, and later this year, a West Coast strike is in the works, presumably to the Pacific Northwest, where they count compatriots-in-noise like Broken Water (who will co-headline Diet Cokeheads’ April 7 performance at St. Augustine’s Budget Records), Gun Outfit and Milk Music. Rohan laughs when asked about bigger goals, admitting that she and Halal still work day jobs while Hennessey attends school part-time. “We won’t be opening for Mötley Crüe anytime soon,” she says. Hennessey adds, “I would definitely only agree to do a Four Loko tour.” Although Rohan is the only born-and-bred Gainesvillian in Diet Cokeheads, all three grew up in Florida and have called G-Vegas home for at least the last five years. They say they’re motivated by up-and-coming Sunshine State bands like Cop City/Chill Pillars, Averkiou, Neon Bud and Mauser, while also admitting they enjoy playing in St. Augustine more than in their own hometown. “It’s like a little vacation for us to play St. Augustine,” Hennessey says. And when asked about Oldest City kingpin Rich Diem, who in his own understated way has helped book and promote their April 7 show, Hennessey says, “Rich is maybe the greatest human being on Earth.” But that’s about as excited as Diet Cokeheads get; it’s almost as if they save up all their instrument-abusing energy for when the amps are finally plugged in. Describing the source of their provocative band name, Rohan simply says, “It’s from the movie ‘Heathers’ with Winona Ryder … I don’t know if you’ve seen it or not, but it’s a good one.”

Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 27

Early daze: A youthful Gene and Dean Ween ponder a global dominance and their eventual evolution into the jam band scene.

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Folio Weekly gazes back on a quarter-century of tasting the waste of Ween

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KIDSDIRECTORY For 19 years, Folio Weekly has been providing businesses and organizations an opportunity to directly connect with Northeast Florida parents and families in our annual Kid’s Directory. From academic camps to sports events, if it’s KID related, the Folio Weekly Kid’s Directory has it covered.

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If your business includes activities for kids, let Northeast Florida parents know all the particulars with an advertisement. Call your Folio Weekly account representative or DAVID BRENNAN at 904.260.9770 x130 before the April 12 deadline. 9456 Philips Hwy., Suite 11, Jacksonville, FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 • Fax: 904.260.9773 28 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

Thursday, April 14 through Saturday, April 16 The Spirit Rep of the Suwannee Music Park, 3076 95th Sales db Drive, Live Oak Tickets are $198.50 and $500; includes four days of camping and three days of music (386) 364-1683 waneefestival.com

jam band zombies descend like a patchoulidriven plague on Live Oak for the 40-plus-band Wanee Fest, there’s one band that’ll separate the truly tripping from the barely buzzed. Plopped between such heavyweight faves as The Allman Brothers, Widespread Panic and various Dead and Phish permutations rests the mighty Ween, like some weird, barely tolerated sicko cousin. While many of their peers met in that nowstandard breeding ground for rock bands — art school — brothers-from-another-mother Dean and Gene Ween met in their eighth-grade typing class in 1984. Soon after, 14-year-olds Dean Ween (Mickey Melchiondo) and Gene Ween (Aaron Freeman) hunkered down in a dank bedroom, recording a series of cassettes with titles like “The Crucial Squeegie Lip” and “Axis: Bold as Boognish.” With influences ranging from Frank Zappa to The Residents and Syd Barrett, the music was simultaneously juvenile and astutely informed, with Dean’s burgeoning guitar skills and Gene’s swooping falsetto shifting gears from Pink Floyd’s “Echoes” to Prince’s “Kiss.” While still in high school, the pair opened for fans Henry Rollins and then The Butthole Surfers. After signing with Twin/Tone Records, their 1990 debut, “GodWeenSatan: The Oneness,” was flung upon an unsuspecting world with warped cuts like “You F*cked Up” and “Fat Lenny.” In the early ’90s, the pair were ensconced in a rancid apartment, working menial jobs by day and using a four-track tape recorder at night to chronicle their experiments with sound, melody, humor and hallucinogens. The boys wound up with some 3,600 hours of tape; the resulting album was a two-LP set called “The Pod” (1991), released on then-acclaimed underground label

Shimmy Disc. This second release codified the duo’s ability to shape-shift through musical styles (mixing the soft rock bliss of “Pork Roll Egg and Cheese” with the muddy thrash of “Sketches of Winkle”), helping to shine a hazy light on the burgeoning possibilities of lo-fi. Even Ween were not immune from the major label feeding frenzy of the decade, though, and after (amazingly) signing with Elektra Records for 1992’s “Pure Guava,” the Brothers Ween had a sudden hit on their hands with “Push th’ Little Daisies,” which peaked at an impressive No. 21 on the Billboard chart. Not bad for a band who, a mere two years earlier, were recording their take-out phone order to a Mexican joint and releasing the results on an album. The band followed up with the varied and pitch-perfect “Chocolate and Cheese,” then assembled a crack team of Nashville session musicians for the LSD-meets-C&W of 1996’s “12 Golden Country Greats.” The following year, the pseudo-bros put out what many (including Dean) consider their best: the 1997 prog-rock opus “The Mollusk,” which blurred humor, cerebral production methods and worthy playing into a seamless monolith. In the last decade, the band released both live and studio albums (ween.com), while evolving from a pair of giggling stoners to a fiercely adept, kickass quintet. In fact, it’s Ween’s live shows that have cemented their reputation, and inspired legions of ardent fans whose follow-and-bootleg ethic rivals that of any Dead or Phish fan. Which raises an obvious question: How did Ween become regular waders in that trustafarian pool known as the jam band festival circuit? Some of this could surely be credited to age and economics. The once-stoner boys have grown into semi-mature adults, with families and mortgages. But part of the blame likely lies with Phish, who “turned on” zealous fans to the Ween jam “Roses are Free.” Soon Phishheads began showing up at Ween shows, as uninvited as a soap dispenser on Rusted Root’s tour bus. Gene Ween himself has admitted that “all that jam band shit makes me want to puke.” We can only hope that the power of Ween will turn on more than a few crusties to the transcendent beauty of their bad-trip opus, “Spinal Meningitis.” Pass the niacin, mang. Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

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CLAY COUNTY AGRICULTURAL FAIR Dennis Lee performs at 8 p.m. on April 5, Brett Eldredge plays at 7 p.m. and Randy Houser is on at 8 p.m. on April 6, Megan McGovern performs at 7 p.m. and John Anderson appears at 8 p.m. on April 7. Adam Brand performs at 7 p.m. and Jerrod Nieman is on at 8 p.m. on April 8; Easton Corbin performs at 8 p.m. on April 9 at Reinhold Agricultural Fairgrounds, 2493 S.R. 16 W., Green Cove Springs. Admission is $5; $4 for seniors and kids 6-12. 284-1615. claycountyfair.org ROCKVILLE RUMBLE: BROKEN TRUST, BLEEDING IN STEREO, HIGH ORDER, LAWLESS HEARTS, SON OF A BAD MAN Local rock bands compete onstage at 8 p.m. on April 5 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 398-7496. EOTO, ZEBBLER ENCANTI EXPERIENCE Electro-jam band EOTO plays at 8 p.m. on April 5 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $15. 246-2473. LITTLE JAKE & THE SOUL SEARCHERS This soul act appears at 8 p.m. on April 5 at European Street CafĂŠ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. LYRICS BORN, FUSEBOX FUNK Cali rapper Lyrics Born is on at 8 p.m. on April 6 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $12. 398-7496. ROCKVILLE RUMBLE with MANNA ZEN, SUPERCOLLIDE, OSCAR MIKE, SHOTGUN HARBOR, VIKTR Local rockers battle it out onstage at 8 p.m. on April 7 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 398-7496. BLISTUR The music of these local rockers comes to a head at 8 p.m. on April 7 at Cliffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Road, Ste. 2, Jacksonville. 645-5162. EASY STAR ALL STARS, THE GREEN, CAS HALEY The dank reggae fills the air at 8 p.m. on April 7 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $15. 246-2473. MOORS AND McCUMBER Singers James Moors and Kort McCumber play rootsy Americana at 8:30 p.m. on April 7 at European Street CafĂŠ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. Voice of the Wetlands ALL-STARS with TAB BENOIT, CYRIL NEVILLE, ANDERS OSBORNE, BIG CHIEF MONK BOUDREAUX, JOHNNY VIDACOVICH, JUMPINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; JOHNNY SANSONE and WAYLON THIBODEAUX This evening of blues

INFINTESMAL RECORDS BBQ 9 with DJ TOM for a cause starts at 9 p.m. on April 7 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 PENNINGTON, HONEY CHAMBER, THUMBNAIL SKETCH, Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Tickets are $32.50 and $40. Proceeds ANTARCTIC, THE 2416, ANTIQUE ANIMALS, THE MOONIES, benefit conservation of the Louisiana wetlands. 247-6636. STATUS FAUX, LA MARS, TUFFY, FRANCIS DE LA MORTE & DIET COKEHEADS, BROKEN WATER, STIFF BINDLES THE MOON CHEESE BABIES, DIGDOG Gainesville sludge rockers Diet Cokeheads perform at 9 p.m. on (Members of String Cheese Incident) This onslaught of kosher wieners and indie rock winners kicks April 7 at Budget Records, 212 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Zebbler Encanti Experience off at 4 p.m. on April 9 at Birdies, 1044 Park St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $5. 806-7131. 356-4444. GENE LOVES JEZEBEL, WASTED TALENT, HORNIT, THURSDAY APRIL 7 DAVID NAIL, WALKER HAYES END OF THE WORLD The country performers appear at 6 p.m. on April 9 at L.A.-based goth rockers Gene Loves Jezebel perform at 6 p.m. Mavericks Rock Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Honky Tonk Concert Hall, The Jacksonville on April 8 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. The Green/Cas Haley Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. Advance tickets are Tickets are $10. 223-9850. $10 and $20 (upstairs); $15 and $25 day of show. 356-1110. DEE DEE LAUX FRIDAY APRIL 8 ULTRACOVEN, POSTAL HARMONY, NOBODY ON LAND Singer-songwriter Laux performs at 7 p.m. on April 8 at Three The rockers hit the stage at 7 p.m. on April 9 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit, Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. TAMMERLIN, MARY-LOU and guests LAUREN FINCHAM These folk acts perform at 7 p.m. on April 8 in the Courtyard at SATURDAY APRIL 9 This singer-songwriter performs at 7 p.m. on April 9 at Three 200 First Street, Neptune Beach. 249-2922. Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. SLAID CLEAVES REBECCA DAY The Texas-based singer-songwriter performs at 8 p.m. on April Singer-songwriter Day performs at 7 p.m. on April 9 at The 8 at European Street CafĂŠ, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Grape, 10281 Midtown Parkway, Jacksonville. 642-7111. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. CLIFF EBERHARDT, NATHAN McEUEN NEUROTIC BUTTERFLY This local act nervously flies onstage Mindslip/Through You These singer-songwriters perform at 8 p.m. on April 9 at at 8 p.m. on April 8 and 9 at Cliffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument European Street CafĂŠ, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance Road, Ste. 2, Jacksonville. 645-5162. WEDNESDAY APRIL 13 tickets are $10. 399-1740. ALICE ANNA ATOMIC TOM Brooklyn, N.Y., band Atomic Tom goes nuclear These rockers hit the stage at 8 p.m. on April 8 at Freebird at 8 p.m. on April 9 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $8. 246-2473. Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 398-7496. HELLO DANGER, SAM SANDERS, CLARA VANUM FREQUENCY 54, BLACKBERRY WEDNESDAY, MINDSLIP, The rockinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; bands appear at 8 p.m. on April 8 at Jack Rabbits, THURSDAY APRIL 14 THROUGH YOU 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $5. The modern rock kicks off at 8 p.m. on April 9 at Freebird Live, 398-7496. 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $8. 246-2473. FLAGLERPALOOZA with AMY HENDRICKSON & THE WADE MATTHEWS, JILL BURTON, JIM IVY, TRAVIS JOHNSON PRIME DIRECTIVE, ONE HIT WONDER, FERAL SWINE Experimental musician Matthews performs at 8 p.m. on April EXPERIMENT, LOVE CHUNK, WOBBLY TOMS, We Are the In Crowd/Before their Eyes/Tonight Alive 9 at Center for Spiritual Living, 1795 Old Moultrie Road, St. GRANDPAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COUGH MEDICINE, WAITING ON BRIAN Augustine. Admission is $5. 825-3600. These local acts perform from 9 a.m.-10 p.m. on April 9 on FRIDAY APRIL 15 THE WAYMORES the West Lawn of Flagler College, 74 King St., St. Augustine. Jax Music showcase with This trio of award-winning songwriters performs at 8 p.m. 829-6481. on April 9 at St. Peterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Episcopal Churchâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Burns Hall, 801 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Produced by jdw Checked by Sales Rep rm benefit Ask for Action Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Tickets are $15. 277-2664. Tobacco promise Pat performs atof 10:30 a.m., Robbie Hazen & The sUpport Riot DARKFEST 2011 with EGO LIKENESS, THE LUDIVICO play at 11:45 a.m. and LaVilla School of the Arts Jazz Band TECHNIQUE, TWITCH THE RIPPER The gothic, dark wave and plays at 2:30 p.m. on April 9 at Riverside Arts Market, under The holidazed/Audzio the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville. fashionable moping kicks off at 8 p.m. on April 9 at CafĂŠ 331, 554-6865. 331 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. 354-1999. SATURDAY APRIL 16

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VERTICAL HORIZON Son of A Bad Man FRIDAY APRIL 22

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GHOSTLAND OBSERVATORY and guests WEDNESDAY APRIL 27

UNWRITTEN LAW, AUTHORITY ZERO UPCOMING SHOWS 4-27: Â Â Â Unwritten Law/Authority Zero 4-29: Â Â Â Ten Ton Wrecking Ball 4-30: Â Â Â Rockville Rumble Finals 5-1: Â Â Â Â Soulive 5-5: Â Â Â Â Changes in Lattitude (Buffett Tribute) 5-6: Â Â Â Â Rob Machadoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Melali/ Saltwater Grass 5-7: Â Â Â Â Greenhouse Lounge CD Release 5-12: Â Â Â Plain White Tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s/Parachute 5-13: Â Â Â Mac Miller 5-18: Â Â Â Neon Trees/Limousines 5-21: Â Â Â Dave Matthews Band (Tribute) 5-22: Â Â Â Minus the Bear/Skysaw/ Constellations 5-26: Â Â Â Clutch/Maylene & The Sons of Disaster 5-27: Â Â Â Sidereal/Crazy Carls/Taste Buds 5-30: Â Â Â Face to Face/Strung Out 6-3: Â Â Â Â Dancell 6-18: Â Â Â Kymystry/Rosco Caine 6-25: Â Â Â Zach Deputy 7-1: Â Â Â Â Appetite for Destruction (GnR) 7-3: Â Â Â Â Psychedelic Furs

April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 29

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SIGNAL 20 Bluesy rockers play at 8:30 p.m. on April 9 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. (386) 325-5454. KEY-LOW CD RELEASE PARTY with ROBIN BANKZ, STILLWATER, WES PIPES, DALGOZ, MAGICK TOUCH Rap artist Key-Low celebrates the drop of “4 Tha Love of Music” at 9 p.m. on April 9 at Lomax Lodge, 822 Lomax St., Jacksonville. Admission is $6. 634-8813. GOLIATH FLORES Multi-instrumentalist Flores plays at 1 p.m. on April 10 at Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. KNIFE REVENGE, MURDER & THE HARLOT, VIGILANTES OF THE ONSLAUGHT, IN BETRAYAL, WHAT’S MINE IS YOURS, WATERSHIP DOWN, SILENCE AND DIE STRONG, SLEEPLESS IN PERIL Area rockers perform at 6 p.m. on April 10 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. WADE MATTHEWS, JAMISON WILLIAMS, KEVIN LEWIS, BRENDEN MANNING, STEVE LADENSACK, KEATON ORSBORN, JASON IRVIN, RYAN STANLEY Electronics musician Matthews performs solo and with fellow improvisers at 7 p.m. on April 10 at Nullspace, 109 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. 716-4202. ROCKVILLE RUMBLE with 7 YEARS PAST, ELIJAH ROAD, WASTED TALENT, 2 MINUTE WISH, FROM WITHIN Local acts vie for bragging rights at 8 p.m. on April 10 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 398-7496. ROCKVILLE RUMBLE with GLORIOUS GUNNER, DRAMA SUMMER, ONE LESS ATLANTIC, CLARA VANUM Local rockers battle it out in a musical manner at 8 p.m. on April 12 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 398-7496.

TAPROOT May 27, Brewster’s Pit YANNI April 14, T-U Center 277-6990 Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. MUSHROOMHEAD, HED PE May 27, Plush MIRANDA LAMBERT, JUSTIN MOORE & JOSH KELLY April THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Stevie Fingers FACE TO FACE, STRUNG OUT May 30, Freebird Live 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre on April 5. Reggie Lee on April 7. Andy Haney on April 8 & 11. KEITH URBAN June 17, Veterans Memorial Arena GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE CD RELEASE PARTY April Richard Stratton on April 9. Richard Smith on April 10. Kent ZACH DEPUTY June 25, Freebird Live 16, Mojo Kitchen Kirby on April 12. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed. APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION (Guns N Roses Tribute) SOJA, THE DIRTY HEADS, NEW POLITICS April 20, The July 1, Freebird Live Florida Theatre ARLINGTON, REGENCY PSYCHEDELIC FURS July 3, Freebird Live RISE AGAINST, BAD RELIGION, FOUR YEAR STRONG AJ’S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 SELENA GOMEZ & THE SCENE July 31, St. Augustine April 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. Amphitheatre LIL’ ED & THE IMPERIALS April 22, Mojo Kitchen Karaoke every Thur. THE MOVEMENT, HEAVY PETS April 22, Freebird Live MEEHAN’S TAVERN, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5, 551-7076 MONOZYGOTIK, FLIGHT RISK, MIGHT DUB KILLAZ Karaoke every Wed. Live music every Fri. Improvisation Station April 23, Freebird Live every Sat. TOOTS LORRAINE & THE TRAFFIC April 23, Mojo Kitchen AMELIA ISLAND, MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 ASSHOLE PARADE, SHITSTORM, DISCIPLES OF CHRIST, FERNANDINA BEACH Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. MAUSER April 24, Ring of Fire Honky Tonk BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech St., 277-3662 John PLUSH, RAIN, LEOPARD LOUNGE, 845 University Blvd. N., GHOSTLAND OBSERVATORY April 26, Freebird Live Springer every Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph 745-1845 DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs UNWRITTEN LAW, AUTHORITY ZERO April 27, Freebird Live every Sun. spin Latin every Fri.; house & techno in Z-Bar every Fri. P. DIDDY & DIDDY DIRTY MONEY April 28, Plush DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Saltwater TONINO’S TRATTORIA & MARTINI BAR, 7001 Merrill Rd., GAMBLE ROGERS FOLK FESTIVAL with Richard Grass on April 8. kLoB on April 9. Claiborne Shepherd on April Ste. 45, 743-3848 Harry & Sally from 6:30-9 p.m. every Wed. Thompson, Pierce Pettis April 29-May 1, St. Augustine 14. Live music every weekend Alaina Colding every Thur. W. Harvey Williams at 6 p.m. every CHICAGO April 29, The Florida Theatre GENNARO’S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., Fri. Signature String Quartet every Sat. ROCKVILLE RUMBLE FINALS April 30, Freebird Live 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SOULIVE May 1, Freebird Live GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll ONE NIGHT OF QUEEN May 3, The Florida Theatre AVONDALE, ORTEGA from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend JEFF BECK, IMELDA MAY BAND May 4, The Florida Theatre BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 INDIGO ALLEY, 316 Centre St., 261-7222 Dan Voll & the CHANGES IN LATITUDE (Jimmy Buffett Tribute) May 5, Duet every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Alley Cats at 8 p.m. every Sat. Frankie’s Jazz Jam at 7:30 p.m. Freebird Live Doctors every 1st Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. Produced & Sat. every Tue. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Thur. Live music every MELALI (ROB MACHADO) May 6, Freebird Live PROMISE OF BENEFIT SUPPORTBush ASK FOR ACTION THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Fri. & Sat. TRAMPLED UNDER FOOT, ROCCO BLU May 6, Mojo Kitchen Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. O’KANE’S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll GREENHOUSE LOUNGE CD RELEASE PARTY May 7, Freebird ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for from 7:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. The Turner London Band at Live Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. DJ Dave 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. HEAVY CREAM, THE COUGS May 11, Café Eleven Berg spins every Sat. DJ Alex Pagan spins every Sun. THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELD’S, 117 Centre St., PLAIN WHITE T’S May 12, Freebird Live ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 491-3332 BSPdAte: Unplugged040511 every Tue. Wes Cobb every Wed. KENNY CHESNEY May 12, Veterans Memorial Arena For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, DJ Heavy Hess in Sheffield’s, Hupp & Rob in Palace every Thur. MAC MILLER May 13, Freebird Live FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 R&B, funk, soul & old-school every Thur. Live music every Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez in Sheffield’s JEFFERSON STARSHIP May 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DR. DOG, FLOATING ACTION April 13, Freebird Live weekend. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every 1st & 4th Sat. every Fri. DJ Heavy Hess in Sheffield’s every Sat. BSP KRIS KRISTOFFERSON, JOHN PRINE May 14, Florida Theatre Waneepromise Festival withof THEbenefit ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND, Unplugged Sun. Casonby every Mon. All shows at 9:30 PLAN May 20, Plush Produced by jw every Checked Sales Rep rl p.m. Patrick Evan & Co-Alition every Industry Sun. sUpportTHE DEFTONES, DILLINGER Ask forESCAPE Action ROBERT PLANT & BAND OF JOY, WEEN April 14-16, Spirit of TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Cloud 9 PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, DAVE MATTHEWS TRIBUTE BAND May 21, Freebird Live the Suwannee Music Park on April 8. Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat. 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. CAGE THE ELEPHANT May 21, Mavericks Rock N’ Honky Tonk FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS, BREATHE CAROLINA, WE SEABREEZE SPORTS BAR, 2707 Sadler Rd., 277-2300 Concert Hall ARE THE IN CROWD, BEFORE THEIR EYES, TONIGHT ALIVE Karaoke with Daddy’O every Wed. DJ Roc at 9 p.m. every Fri., MINUS THE BEAR May 22, Freebird Live BAYMEADOWS April 14, Freebird Live 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. CLUTCH, MAYLENE & THE SONS OF DISASTER TOUR May THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., 26, Freebird Live DROWNING POOL, TRUST COMPANY April 14, Brewster’s Pit SLIDER’S SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave.,

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UPCOMING CONCERTS

San Marco : Tues. April 5 r Little Jake Mitchell & The Fabulous Soul Searchers

COPPERTOP

Thurs. April 7 r Moors and McCumber Beach Blvd. (at University): Fri April 8 r Slaid Cleaves r Michael O’Conner Sat. April 9 r Cliff Eberhardt r Nathan McEven Mon April 11 r JB Scott’s Swingin Allstars Jax Beach : Sun. April 10 r Hoffman’s Voodoo Sun. April 17 r Evans Acoustic Trio

30 | folio weekly | April 5-11, 2011

NEW COVERED DECK MON: THE KARAOKE DUDE 8pm

JERRYS $2 PBR + $2.50 Gatorades

THURS: MR. NATURAL + KARAOKE 7pm BIKE NIGHT $2.50 Dom. Bottles $3 Jack. FRI: LUCKY STIFF 8:30pm til Late $3 Shot Specials

SAT: MR. NATURAL

New $10.99 Prime Rib Breakfast Thru Dinner $3 Captain Morgan

220.6766 | 13170 Atlantic Blvd. www.jerryssportsgrille.com

by ab

For nearly 30 years, pioneering avant-garde musician Wade Matthews has been pushing the parameters of both composition and live performance. The internationally acclaimed woodwind and synthesizer player performs solo and in improvised group settings with local musicians on April 9 at 8 p.m. at Center for Spiritual Living, 1795 Old Moultrie Road, St. Augustine. Admission is $5. 825-3600. Matthews performs solo and in groups on April 10 at 7 p.m. at Nullspaceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new location, 109 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. 716-4202.

642-7600 DJ Albert Adkins spins house every Wed. DJs spin progressive & electro house every Thur. DJ Michael Stumbaugh spins electro house & progressive breaks every Sat. MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Road, 737-5299 Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Tue. & Wed. OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri. TERA NOVA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 733-8085 DJ Jose de la Soul spins salsa & freestyle every Latin Thur. DJs spin hip hop every Fri. DJs Leland & Marc-E-Marc spin top 40 & house every Sat. DJ Leland McWilliams spins for South Beach Friday every 2nd Fri. Reggae Fanatic is held every 3rd Fri. TONY Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NEW YORK PIZZA & RESTAURANT, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 322-7051 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri.

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) THE ATLANTIC, 333 N. First St., 249-3338 The Infader spins every Wed. DJ Wes Reed spins every Thur. DJ Jade spins old wave & â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s retro, SilverStar spins hip hop every Fri. DJ Wes Reed spins â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, old school, remixes & mashups, Capone spins top 40 & dance faves every Sat. BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt Lanham sings classical island music every Fri.-Sun. BILLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Hal & Vicki at 5:50 p.m. on April 7. 4Play at 6 p.m. on April 8. Dune Dogs at 5:30 p.m. on April 9. Live music at noon, John Waters at 4:30 p.m. on April 10 THE BRASSERIE, 1312 Beach Blvd., 249-5800 Live music every Wed. & Thur. BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 DJ

TUE 4/5 WED 4/6 THURS 4/7 FRI 4/8 & SAT 4/9 SUN 4/10 MON 4/11

Anonymous every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Live music every Wed. DJ IBay every Fri. & Sat. Charlie Walker every Sun. CARIBBEE KEY, 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach, 270-8940 Mark Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Quinn on April 6. Pili Pili on April 8 & 9. Live music every Thur.-Sun. CASA MARINA, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Toots Lorraine & the Traffic on April 6. Cloud 9 on April 13 COPPER TOP, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-4776 Karaoke with Billy McMahan from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. THE COURTYARD, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Tammerlin and Mary-Lou at 7 p.m. on April 8. Live music every Fri. CULHANEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Live music every weekend DICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S WINGS & GRILL, 311 Third St. N., 853-5004 Live music every Fri. & Sat. ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337 Kurt Lanham on April 7. Live music every Thur. EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001 Hoffmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Voodoo on April 10 FIONN MACCOOLâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 333 First St. N., 242-9499 Live music every Tue.-Sun. FLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 EOTO and Zebbler Encanti Experience at 8 p.m. on April 5. Easy Dub Allstars, The Green and Cas Haley on April 7. Alice Anna on April 8. Frequency 54, Blackberry Wednesday, Mindslip and Through You on April 9. Dr. Dog and Floating Action on April 13 ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Live music at 9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. LYNCHâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Bread & Butter on April 8 & 9. Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Nate Holley Band every Wed. Ryan Campbell every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Video DJ and Karaoke every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 270-0801 Kurt Lanham at 2 p.m. every Sun. DJ Jason hosts Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 Bread & Butter on April 6. Dioocious on April 7. Reggae SWAT Team on April 8. The Great State on April 9 MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon at 6 p.m. every Tue. Mike Shackelford and Rick

Team Trivia Jeff & Tony The Dune Dogs Rick Arcusa Band Bread & Butter Richard Smith

Wednesday Pat Rose Thursday Rough Mix Friday & Saturday Paul Lundgren Sunday Domenic Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI t April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 31

Johnson at 6 p.m. every Thur. MIMI’S SPORTS GRILLE, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 270-1030 DJ Dennis Hubbell spins & hosts Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. & Fri. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Voice of the Wetlands All-Stars Tab Benoit, Cyril Neville, Anders Osborne, Johnny Vidacovich, Jumpin’ Johnny Sansone, Waylon Thibodeaux and Big Chief Monk Boudreaux on April 7 MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Peter Dearing at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for Karaoke every Wed., Sat. & Sun. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat. PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL, 333 N. First St., 208-5097 Live music at 9 p.m. every Thur. PHILLY’S FINEST, 1527 N. Third St., 241-7188 Ian & Steve (Hello Danger) every Fri. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Pat Rose on April 6. Rough Mix on April 7. Paul Lundgren on April 8 & 9. Dominic on April 10 RITZ LOUNGE, 139 Third Ave. N., 246-2255 DJ Jenn Azana every Wed.-Sat. DJ Ibay every Sun. RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 320 N. First St., 270-8565 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. STICKY FINGERS, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7427 Live music 3-7 p.m. every Sun. SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 Jeff & Tony on April 6. Dune Dogs on April 7. Rick Arcusa Band on April 8 & 9. Bread & Butter on April 10. Richard Smith on April 11. Live music every Wed.-Sun. THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

DOWNTOWN

CAFE 331, 331 W. Forsyth St., 354-1999 Ego Likeness, The Ludivico Technique and Twitch the Ripper on April 9. Acoustic open mic 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Tue. Live music 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Wed. & Fri. Factory Jax’s goth-industrial 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. Underground 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Mon. CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz spins Motown, old school, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Live music every Thur. Smooth Jazz Lunch at 11 a.m., Latin music

at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Ol’ Skool every last Fri. A DJ spins classic R&B, hip hop & dance every Saturdaze. Live reggae & DJs spin island music every Sun. Joel Crutchfield for open mic every Mon. Live music every Tues. DE REAL TING CAFE, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 DJs Mix Master Prince, Pete, Stylish, Big Bodie play reggae, calypso, R&B, hip hop and top 40 every Fri. & Sat. DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 DJ NickFresh spins every Tue. Indie Lounge. DJ SuZi-Rok spins every Thur. DJ Trim spins top 40, dance & rock every Fri. DJ Shanghai spins top 40, dance & rock every Sat. THE JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Sax and Soul at 6 p.m. on April 6. Spanky on April 8. George Aspinall Band on April 9 THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Massive spins top 40 & dance every Velvet Fri. DJ Shotgun spins top 40 & dance every BayStreet Sat. MAVERICKS ROCK N’HONKY TONK, The Jacksonville Landing, 356-1110 David Nail and Walker Hayes at 6 p.m. on April 9. Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Saddle Up every Sat. NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 Karaoke every Fri. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. POPPY LOVE SMOKE, 112 E. Adams St., 354-1988 Lil John Lumpkin, Stefano Di Bella & Lawrence Buckner every Wed. & Fri. Open mic every 2nd & 4th Sun. ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Eric Carter and DJ Al Pete every Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Charlie Walker on April 6. All Dog Band on April 8. Nate Holley on April 9 MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. ROCKIN RODZ, 2574 C.R. 220, 276-2000 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

HILLTOP HILL HILLTO P

RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106, 213-7779 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Country Night with Bryce Carlisle on April 7. Boogie Freaks on April 8 & 9. Rezolushun on the deck at 5 p.m. on April 10. DJ BG on April 11

INTRACOASTAL WEST

BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Gene Loves Jezebel, Wasted Talent, Hornit and End of the World on April 8. Ultracoven, Postal Harmony and Nobody on Land on April 9. Knife Revenge, Murder and the Harlot, Vigilantes of the Onslaught, In Betrayal, What’s Mine Is Yours, Watership Down, Silence and Die Strong and Sleepless in Peril on April 10 BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Throwback Tue. ’70s, ’80s & top 40. Open mic with CBH every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal & live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon. BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. Brucci’s Live open mic with Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Mon. CLIFF’S BAR & GRILLE, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Blistur on April 7. Neurotic Butterfly on April 8 & 9. Karaoke every Tue. DJ Kevin for ladies nite every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Jack at 9 p.m. every Sun. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Mr. Natural and Karaoke at 7 p.m. on April 7. Lucky Stiff at 7:30 p.m. on April 8. Mr. Natural on April 9. The Karaoke Dude at 8 p.m. every Mon. Live music outside for Bike Night every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. YOUR PLACE BAR & GRILL, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 Chuck Nash every Tue. Simply Righteous every Wed.

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS COUNTY

HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN

AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry and John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Sat. BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE, 3057 Julington Creek Rd., 260-2722 Live music on the deck every Sun. afternoon CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. THE NEW ORLEANS CAFE, 12760 San Jose Blvd., 880-5155 Jazz on the Deck 7-10 p.m. with Sleepy’s Connection every Tue. Open mic with Biker Bob at 7:30 p.m. every Thur. Les B. Fine at 1 p.m. every Reggae Sun. Creekside Songwriters Showcase at 7 p.m. on the last Wed. each month RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Craig Hand every Sat. Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SMITTY’S INTERNET BAR, 3553 Kori Rd., 683-0388 Angel at 3 p.m. on April 9 for 2nd anniversary party SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. THE TREE STEAKHOUSE, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006 The Boril Ivanov Biva Jazz Band from 7-9 p.m. every Thur. David Gum at the piano bar from 7-10 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Karaoke every Fri. & Sat. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Ivey Brothers on April 7. Swerved on April 8 & 9. Buck Smith Project every Mon. DJ Waldo every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar every Wed. SENOR WINGS, 700 Blanding Blvd., 375-0746 DJ Andy spins for Karaoke every Wed. DJ Tammy spins for Karaoke every Fri. Live music every Sat. DJ spins for every Mon. S.I. nite

PALATKA

DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., (386) 325-5454 Signal 20 on April 9. Live music at 6 p.m. every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Fri. Blues jams at 2 p.m. every Sun.

PONTE VEDRA

AQUA GRILL, 950 Sawgrass Village Dr., 285-3017 Murray Goff on the deck at 3 p.m. on April 10 & 17 KARMA, 822 A1A N., 834-3942 Live music on April 8 & 9 NINETEEN AT SAWGRASS, 110 Championship Way,

32 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

Loverboy: ’80s glam-gothic rockers Gene Loves Jezebel perform along with Wasted Talent, Hornit and End of the World on April 8 at 6 p.m. at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. The cult faves cracked the U.S. charts with their 1987 hit “The Motion of Love.” 223-9850.

273-3235 Time2Swing at 6 p.m. every Jazz Thur. Strings of Fire from 6-9 p.m. every Sat. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766 Live music on April 8 & 9 URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Paxton & Mike at 6 p.m. on April 6. High Tides of Jazz at 7:30 p.m. on April 7. Mark O’Quinn at 7:30 p.m. on April 8. Barrett Jockers & Band at 7:30 p.m. April 9. Darren Corlew every Tue.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

FATKATS NIGHT CLUB, 1187 S. Edgewood Ave., 994-5201 Waylay plays every Thur. Live music & DJ Lavo spinning hip hop, rock, reggae, punk; Caden spins house, techno, breaks, drum & bass at 9 p.m. every Flashback Fri. HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Dave Massey every Tue. Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. THE LOFT, 925 King St., 476-7283 DJs Wes Reed & Josh K every Thur. LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 DJ Dots every Tue. Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian every Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. METRO, 2929 Plum St., 388-8719 DJ Chadpole every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke with KJ Rob every Sun., Mon. & Tue. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551 Bluegrass Nite every Fri. THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Bare Soul, October Glory, The Savvy, The Delicate and 316 East on April 8. Coming This Fall Farewell Show with Kaliyl, Dancell, A Jasey Project and Vagrant Undertow on April 9. Cool Hand Luke Farewell Show with Alexander and The King & Me on April 10 WALKERS, 2692 Post St., 894-7465 Jax Arts Collaborative every Tue. Patrick & Burt every Wed. DJ Jeremiah every Thur. Acoustic every Thur.-Sat. Dr. Bill & His Solo Practice of Music at 5 p.m. every Fri.

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 The Committee on April 7, 8 & 9 AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Gary Wingard every Thur. ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Open mic with Smokin Joe from 7-10 p.m. on April 5. Husky Burnett at 6:30 p.m. on April 6. Storytellers at 8:30 p.m. on April 9. Karaoke on April 10 THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke at 9 p.m. on April 7, 9 & 14. After the Bomb Baby at 9:15 p.m. on April 8. Jukebox nite on April 10. Open mic night with Christi Harris at 8:30 p.m. on April 11 BUDGET RECORDS, 212 San Marco Ave., 806-7131 Diet Cokeheads, Stiff Bindles and Broken Water at 9 p.m. on April 7 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., 826-1594 Humanzee at 7 p.m. on April 8. Live music at 2 p.m., Humanzee at 7 p.m. on April 9. Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on April 10 CHICAGO PIZZA & BAKERY, 107 Natures Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700 Greg Flowers hosts open-mic and jazz piano from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Fri. CONCH HOUSE LOUNGE, 57 Comares Ave., 829-8646 Lions of Jah from 3-7 p.m. on April 10. Brad Newman every Thur. Live music at 3 p.m. every Sat. CREEKSIDE DINERY, 160 Nix Boatyard Rd., 829-6113 Live

music on deck Wed.-Sun. CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655 Live music every Fri. & Sat. HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Stu Weaver every Mon. HURRICANE PATTY’S, 69 Lewis Blvd., 827-1822 Those Guys every Tue. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Wed. Billy Buchanan every Thur. Dewey Via every Sun. JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. JOHNNY’S, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 829-8333 Montage features electro, dance & indie every Mon. KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur. KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. LOCAL HEROES CAFE, 11 Spanish St., 825-0060 Glam punk rock dance party Radio Hot Elf with DJ Dylan Nirvana from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 540-2824 Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 Live music every Fri. & Sat. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Amy Hendrickson every Sun. & Wed. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Don David Trio at 9 p.m. on April 8 & 9. Colton McKenna at 1 p.m. on April 10. Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones at 9 p.m. every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur. Will Pearsall at 9 p.m. every Mon. THE OASIS, 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace, 471-3424 Those Guys every Thur. Chris C4Mann every Mon. THE REEF, 4100 Coastal Hwy., Vilano Beach, 824-8008 Richard Kuncicky from 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. every Sun. RHETT’S PIANO BAR & BRASSERIE, 66 Hypolita St., 825-0502 Live jazz at 7 p.m. every night SANGRIAS PIANO BAR, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Soul Searchers every Wed. Jim Asalta every Thur. Jazz every Fri. The Housecats every Sat. Sunny & the Flashbacks every Sun. SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 DJ Echo hosts Karaoke every Mon. Amy Hendrickson every Thur. THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Live music nightly. Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 5-8 p.m. every Sun. TWO HUNDRED LOUNGE, 200 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0378 Live music every Thur. & Fri. DJs spin every Sat. & Sun. ZHANRAS, 108 Anastasia Blvd., 823-3367 Deron Baker & Soulo every Tue. DJ Cep spins ’80s & disco every Sun. Vinny Jacobs open mic every Mon.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN

AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 201, 928-0515 W. Harvey Williams every Tue. DJ Royal every Wed. & Thur. DJ Benz every Fri. DJ T-Rav every Sat. THE BRASS MONKEY, 9734 Deerlake Ct., 996-8277 Alex Seier & Ron Rodriguez rotate every acoustic Tue. Live music every Wed. DJ Fuller spins every Thur. THE GRAPE, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-7111 Rebecca Day at 7 p.m. on April 9. Live music every Fri. & Sat. John Earle every Mon. DJ Mikeology spins from 5-9 p.m. every Thur.

ISLAND GIRL Wine & Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Jazz every Wed. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 997-1955 Ivey Brothers on April 8. Ron Rodriguez on April 9. Billy Buchanan on April 10. Open mic nite every Tue. SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Latin Wave at 7:30 p.m. on April 5. Leonard Brothers at 7:30 p.m. on April 6; with DJ Marvel on April 7. DJ Marvel on April 8. DJ Nova and Musikology at 7:30 p.m. on April 9 URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 Down Theory every Mon. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Peter Dearing Band every Wed. DJ Chad spins dance every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 Paten Locke spins classic boombox, hip hop & tru school every Thur. DJ J-Money spins jazz, soul, R&B, house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Sat. Reggae every Sun. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 Little Jake Mitchell & the Fabulous Soul Searchers on April 5. James Moors & Kort McCumber on April 7. Jazz every 2nd Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz every Thur. DJ Omar spins dance every Fri. DJs Harry, Rico & Nestor spin salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Broken Trust, Bleeding In Stereo, High Order, Lawless Hearts and Son of a Bad Man on April 5. Lyrics Born and Fusebox Funk on April 6. Rockville Rumble with Manna Zen, Supercollide, Oscar Mike, Shotgun Harbour, Viktr on April 7. Hello Danger, Sam Sanders, Clara Vanum on April 8. Atomic Tom on April 9. Rockville Rumble with 7 Years Past, Elijah Road, Wasted Talent, 2 Minute Wish, From Within on April 10. Rockville Rumble with Glorious Gunner, Drama Summer, One Less Atlantic, Clara Vanum on April 12. Rockville Rumble with Suffering Overload, None Like Us, Livication, A New Decree, Down Theory on April 13 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur. RIVER CITY BREWING CO., 835 Museum Cir., 398-2299 Open mic with TJ Ward every Tue. DJ G-Man at 8 p.m. every Sat. SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Soul on the Square & Band of Destiny at 8 p.m. every Mon. John Earle Band every Tue. DJs Wes Reed & Matt Caulder spin indie dance & electro every Wed. Split Tone & DJ Comic every Thur.

SOUTHSIDE

CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall at 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717 Slaid Cleaves and Michael O’Conner at 8 p.m. on April 8. Cliff Eberhardt and Nathan McEuen on April 9. JB Scott’s Swingin’ Allstars with Lisa Kelly at 8 p.m. on April 11 and every 1st Mon. LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 Open mic jam every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. Live music every weekend DAMES POINT MARINA, 4518 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Southern Magic from 3-7 p.m. on April 9. John Emil from 3-7 p.m. on April 10 FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Big Engine every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. SHARKY’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Oceanway, 714-0995 Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Wed. & Thur. DJ Slim Wicked at 9 p.m. every Fri. Live music every Fri. & Sat. SKYLINE SPORTSBAR & LOUNGE, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. DJ Scar spins every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Dee Dee Laux at 7 p.m. on April 8. Lauren Fincham at 7 p.m. on April 9. Goliath Flores at 1 p.m. on April 10. Karaoke every Tue. Open mic with Al Poindexter at 7 p.m. every Thur. 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Road, 647-8625 Open mic at 8 p.m. every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. To be included in the live music listing, send all the vitals — time, date, location with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com

April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 33

1 3

1. “Destiny,” 2. “Verdigris Trinity” (handspun copper with patina, padauk; 18" tall, 5" diam.), 3. “Nestler Series” (bleached boxelder, padauk, hand-spun aluminum; 21" tall, 8" diam.), 4. “Chalice of the Heart,” 5. “Parallel Support (YIN)” (maple burl, welded steel; 23" tall, 5" diam.)

A Natural Progression

Grant Wood turned his back on the corporate world to spin wondrous works of wood and metal “CELEBRATING PLANET EARTH” EXHIBIT Opening reception is held Wednesday, April 6 from 5-9 p.m. Southlight Gallery, 100 N. Laura St., Jacksonville 358-1002

34 | folio weekly | April 5-11, 2011

aking the transition from day job to artist wasn’t necessarily simple for Grant Ward. But it was obvious. “I just got really tired of the dog-eat-dog world of corporate,” Ward says of his shift from electronics engineer to sculptor. A Philadelphia-area native who moved to Jacksonville in 1980, Ward, now 56, graduated from Ohio Institute of Technology in Columbus with a bachelor of science in electronics engineering. He spent more than a decade managing telecommunication offices and working for large corporations. After visiting a slew of arts and crafts shows in his spare time, he became fascinated with woodturning, a form of woodworking that uses a lathe (rotating machine) to create objects like bowls, furniture parts, platters and candlesticks. “I just fell in love with the shapes and the naturalism of it. I thought, ‘I can do that,’” Ward remembers. So he built his own lathe, a tool that’s been around since at least 1300 B.C., and began learning the techniques of woodturning. He eventually became so enthralled with the art form, he decided to take a 10-month sabbatical from his job at MCI (now part of Verizon). Ward did a few art shows and “just went for it.” That was in 1987, and he hasn’t looked back. Ward uses wood from a variety of trees including camphor, palm, maple, padauk and pecan. He also prefers certain parts of a tree for his art: the crotch (the base of the

trunk, where two sections meet), burl (a knotty growth on a tree) and the root ball (the network of roots). “I primarily like to use burls,” Ward says. “The grain of the wood is interesting. It’s very beautiful.” Tree-huggers need not worry. It’s been years since Ward cut down or deformed a tree for his art. These days, he either trades or buys wood from other woodworkers, or learns of an already felled specimen from friends or one of the tree surgeons he knows. A self-taught artist in every sense, Ward began learning about metal spinning soon after he moved into woodworking. The process is similar to woodturning but instead of wood, it employs metals — often aluminum or stainless steel — to form rounded pieces used in everything from architectural design

patina and steel, 21" tall, 5" diam.). Making each piece can take anywhere from a few hours to months — Ward even has a few unfinished works that have been stuck in his studio space for a decade. “When I finish a piece, it’s usually 90 percent of what I thought it would be,” he says. “I let the wood dictate what it’s going to be. After a while, you know how the wood’s going to act. In the beginning, you practice technique. But it’s like driving a car: Once you learn how to do it, you don’t have to think about it.” Over the years, the Southside resident has shown and sold (ranging from $200 to $10,000) his work locally at spaces like The Haskell Gallery and The Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, though he prefers outdoor shows like Miami’s Coconut Grove Art

“In the beginning, you practice technique. But it’s like driving a car: Once you learn how to do it, you don’t have to think about it.” to cookware. Ward’s only interest in metal spinning is for creating art: “I love the way you can manipulate the metal.” He also uses natural processes like patina and rust to add character to his work. This combination of woodturning and metal spinning creates one-of-a-kind sculptures like “Destiny” (camphor and steel, 21" tall, 13" diam), “Emerging” (palm tree root ball, 20" tall x 16" diam.), “Chalice of the Heart” (banksia seed pod, padauk and hand-spun aluminum, 15" tall, 5" diam.) and “Suspended” (maple burl, spun copper with

Festival, Winter Park Art Festival and Isle of Eight Flags Shrimp Festival Fine Arts & Crafts Show in Fernandina Beach. His work can be seen regularly at Southlight Gallery on North Laura Street, as well as at its April art walk in the show “Celebrating Planet Earth.” “The beauty of my pieces comes from what nature left,” Grant Ward says. “My artwork is how I spend my time as opposed to trying to achieve a finished product. That’s my lifestyle now.” Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

4 2 1. Jeff Whipple’s “History” (2009, watercolor on paper, 30"x22") 2. Liz Gibson as “The Three-Legged Fox” 3. Whipple’s “Seizing the Day” (2008, oil on canvas, 40"x60") 4. Whipple’s “Spasm Smile” (2010, oil on wood panel, 104"x94"x2") 5. Gibson as “Ben Wa Betty”

Life Forms

Visionary artists Jeff Whipple and Liz Gibson celebrate the art of being human JEFF WHIPPLE’S EXHIBIT “SPASMS IN THE VAULT” LIZ GIBSON PERFORMS “VEILED LUCK” Wednesday, April 6 from 5-9 p.m. (Gibson performs at 6:30 p.m.) Vault Gallery, 121 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville, 535-7252 Exhibit is shown through May 27 by appointment only

JEFF WHIPPLE’S EXHIBIT “SPASM COMPOSITIONS” LIZ GIBSON PERFORMS “LEARNING 2 TIE” Friday, April 8 from 6-8:30 p.m. Williams-Cornelius Gallery, Daryl Bunn Studios, 643 Edison Ave., Jacksonville, 535-7252 Exhibit is on display through May 3

he contemporary art scene can be alienating, especially to those who tend view performance art as a foreign language. Two Tallahassee-based artists visiting Jacksonville this week assist with a translation. Though the work of both Jeff Whipple and Liz Gibson can initially seem cryptic, when viewed in context, their efforts become demystified, inviting and, ultimately, universally human. The 53-year-old Whipple is as comfortable working in paints as he is writing plays and creating videos. Gibson focuses her energies on a truly personal delivery of performance art. While vastly different in their executions, both artists celebrate the narratives of life; the same tale told by decidedly dissimilar storytellers. Illinois native Whipple came from a bluecollar background, though his working-class family encouraged his creative leanings. He’s called Florida home for three decades now, and he has exhibited in some 80 group and solo shows. Through oils, plays and video work, Whipple (jeffwhipple.com) gives life to figurative work that invariably features a recurring motif, a symbol Whipple simply

calls a “spasm.” What began as a device to make backgrounds and negative space more “painterly,” the three-line hash mark now tempers the visual timbre of all of his creations. In works like “The Emerging Spasm” (2010, oil on canvas, 50"x40"), a nude seems to be born in a sea of the symbols, which resemble an equal sign or some letter from a UFO’s alphabet. The spasm’s function in Whipple’s work is to evoke life, or creation. “I took it from that idea of ‘what distinguishes a dead thing or inanimate object [from] something alive,’ and realized it’s this little spasm of movement that we perceive of life.” That same instinct animates

Born with a deformed right hand, the selfdescribed “Deformance Artist” deals with themes of deformity, adversity and empowerment. all of his work, including the pure abstraction found in the green tableaux of “Sentinel” (2011, oil on canvas, 72"x48"x2"), in which a group of spasm figures exists in deliberate order, an occult world discovered through an alien microscope. While Whipple acknowledges a love for static art, his work — whether on canvas, stage or screen — is a celebration of life and what he calls the “poetry in paint.” Gibson’s stories are delivered through the universal medium of the human body.

The self-described “Deformance Artist” was born with a deformed right hand, and all of the work of the 36-year-old Western Pennsylvania native deals with the themes of deformity, adversity and empowerment. Gibson (deformanceart.com) is presenting two performances to coincide with Whipple’s exhibits; the first as her character “Ben Wa Betty” in her piece “Veiled Luck.” “She [Betty] is like an Asian archetypal dragon lady,” Gibson says of the piece, which deals in fetish, sexuality and the perception of luck. “I chose that character to examine how I dealt with being a person born with a birth defect [while in] my teenage years.” Each of Gibson’s characters has a designated color scheme. During the performance, Betty covers her two-fingered hand with red wax over green felt, celebrating her deformity as a true fetish. “Americans have sexualized that word,” says Gibson, pointing out an original fetish object was sacred and religious. She recounts a story from her teen years when an elderly Filapino woman once approached her in public, asking if she could touch Gibson’s hand as a gesture of good fortune. “Veiled Luck” illustrates a blessing in disguise, what Gibson refers to as “the mystery of perception.” Her piece, “Learning 2 Tie,” introduces a child character Gibson calls “the Three-Legged Fox,” who explores and celebrates difference through the fundamentally human lesson of learning to tie one’s own shoes. “My parents and grandpa all wanted to teach me how to tie laces, but my hands didn’t hold things the same.” Gibson says she eventually taught herself, “which is what I think people essentially do: I adapted.” Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 35

PERFORMANCE JU STUDENTS AT ABET Jacksonville University theatre honor students perform James McLure’s “Lone Star” and Meredith Brown’s “Laundry and Bourbon” at 7:30 p.m. on April 12 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. Tickets are $12; $7 for seniors, military and students. 249-7177. COMEDY FOR CRITTERS Mad Cowford Improv performs for this fundraising event at 8 p.m. on April 9 at Hotel Indigo, 9840 Tapestry Park Circle, Jacksonville. Suggested donation of $10 benefits the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and Jacksonville Humane Society. A silent auction is held at 7 p.m. 608-1148. HAMLET Jacksonville University presents Shakespeare’s classic tragedy about the murder of the King of Denmark and his son’s quest for vengeance at 7:30 p.m. on April 7, 8 and 9 at JU’s Swisher Theater, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. Tickets are $12; $7 for seniors, military and students. 256-7677. THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES The Women’s Center of Jacksonville presents Eve Ensler’s play celebrating women’s sexuality and strength at 8 p.m. on April 8 and 9 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $25. 396-4425. A CLOSER WALK WITH PATSY CLINE The music and story of the legendary country artist comes to life at 3 p.m. on April 9 at the Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Drive, Orange Park. Tickets range from $20-$30. 276-6750. MORNING’S AT SEVEN Amelia Community Theatre stages Paul Osborn’s comedy about familial ties at 8 p.m. on April 7, 8 and 9 at 207 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach. Tickets are $20; $10 for students. 261-6749. MURDER BY NATURAL CAUSES This inventive who-doneit is staged at 8 p.m. on April 8 and 9 and 3 p.m. on April 10 at Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park. Tickets are $15. 276-2599. DEAD MAN’S CELL PHONE The dark comedy is staged at 7:30 p.m. on April 7, 8 and 9 and at 2 p.m. on April 10 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $25; $22 for seniors, military and students. 825-1164. YOUR ARMS TOO SHORT TO BOX WITH GOD The Ritz Theatre presents this celebration of gospel music at 7:30 p.m. on April 9 at 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $30. 632-5555.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS HIGH SCHOOL ACTORS NEEDED FOR “HAIRSPRAY” The sixth annual High School Summer Musical Theatre Experience holds auditions for public, private and home-schooled students for its production of the musical “Hairspray,” at 1 p.m. on April 9 and 10 at FSCJ’s Wilson Center for the Arts, South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Casting call is for 60 available roles. Prepare 16 bars of music and be ready to dance. 646-2347. ARTIST’S PORTFOLIO WORKSHOP Nadine Terk teaches portfolio and technique advancement for all mediums from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. on April 11 at Plantation Artists’ Guild & Gallery, 94 Amelia Village Circle, Fernandina Beach. Fee is $28. Reservations required. 432-1750. TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHY WORKSHOP Roger Nelson offers tips on photographic composition, background and lighting from 6:30-8:30 p.m. on April 6 and 7 at Beaches Library, 600 Third St., Neptune Beach. 240-8835. STORYTELLERS WANTED Tale Tellers of St. Augustine holds an open house from 7-9:30 p.m. on April 11 at St. Augustine Beach City Hall, 2200 A1A S. 829-8711. A DAY WITHOUT VIOLENCE ART PROJECT Betty Griffin House seeks art and poetry from St. Johns County students, ages 6-18, from home, public or private schools for its “Day Without Violence” calendar project, before April 8. Drop off submissions at entry boxes at any St. Johns County Public Library or Betty Griffin House Thrift Shoppes, 616 S.R. 13 N., Ponte Vedra or 1961 A1A S., St. Augustine. 808-9984. DRUM CIRCLE The Ba Da Boom Community Drum Ensemble rehearses at 4 p.m. on April 10, for the April 17 Beaches Parade, at Jarboe Park, 301 Florida Blvd., Neptune Beach. 853-6955. ASOSA ACTORS STUDIO CLASSES Cindy Hogan holds classes for ages 7-11 every Mon. from 4-5:30 p.m., and ages 12-15 every Wed. from 4-5:30 p.m., through May 21. Each semester is $320. 814-3726. JAX IDOL AUDITIONS This locally produced singing competition holds auditions from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. on April 9 at Lillian’s, 5393 Roosevelt Blvd., Jacksonville, for ages 14 and older; register before performing. 388-4220. JAX ART UNLEASHED First Coast No More Homeless Pets accepts works in a variety of media for its June 23 Jax Art Unleashed fundraiser and juried art show. Deadline is May 30. Artwork may be dropped off or mailed to

36 | folio weekly | April 5-11, 2011

6817 Norwood Ave., Jacksonville FL 32208. 520-7900. jaxartunleashed.com SPRING ACTING CLASSES Players By The Sea offers various 10-week acting classes for ages K-adult through April 22 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. Class fees vary. 249-0289. CALL TO ARTISTS The second annual Art & About Festival offers space for artists working in various media. It’s held on April 30 at Town Hall Park, 2042 Park Ave., Orange Park. Entry deadline is April 9. artguildoforangepark.com ACTORS WORKSHOP ABET holds this eight-week workshop on theatrical basics from 5:30-8:30 p.m. every Sun. from through May 22 at 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. Session is $150. 249-7177. CORSE GALLERY WORKSHOPS Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, oil painting and portrait painting classes are held Mon.-Sat. at Corse Gallery & Atelier, 4144 Herschel St., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 388-8205. corsegalleryatelier.com WEST AFRICAN DRUM & DANCE A drumming class is held at 5:30 p.m., an African dance class is held at 6:45 p.m. every Fri. at St. Johns Cultural Arts Center, 370 A1A Beach Blvd. Each class is $10. 315-1862. THEATRICAL ARTS Classes in theatrical performance, including song and dance, are held Mon.-Fri. at The Performers Academy, 3674 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 322-7672. theperformersacademy.com

CLASSICAL & JAZZ THE 5 BROWNS The acclaimed piano-playing siblings perform at 7:30 p.m. on April 6 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $31-$46. 632-3373. THE CLAYTON HAMILTON ORCHESTRA This jazz supergroup performs at 7:30 p.m. on April 8 at University of North Florida’s Robinson Theater, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets range from $8-$30. 620-2878. JAZZ: ACOUSTIC AWAKENINGS Jacksonville University students and faculty present this evening of jazz at 7:30 p.m. on April 6 at Sam Marks Chapel, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677. S.O.U.L. International singing group, The Singers of United Lands, performs at 7 p.m. on April 7 at Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, 2487 A1A S., St. Augustine. 471-3379. NORDIC FUSION Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra performs Scandinavian-inspired works by Grieg and Sibelius at 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. on April 8 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets including appetizers are $45; $35 for general admission; $25 for students. 354-5547. SIMPLY SINATRA Steve Lippia celebrates the music of Frank Sinatra in story and song at 7:30 p.m. on April 7 and 8 p.m. on April 8 at FSCJ’s Wilson Center for the Arts, South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $40.50. 632-3373. TRIO MUSIQUE PAR DEUX This evening of classical music includes works by Debussy, Piazzolla and Peter Fraser MacDonald at 7 p.m. on April 8 at Edward Waters College’s Milne Auditorium, 1658 Kings Road, Jacksonville. 470-8000. SPRING CLASS PIANO RECITAL Students play the music of Franz Liszt at 7:30 p.m. on April 8 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677. ORGAN CONCERT Organist Michael Mastronicola performs at 10:45 a.m. on April 10 at Unitarian Universalist Church, 7405 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. 725-8133. JU CHAMBER CONCERT The student chamber groups perform classical favorites at 3 p.m. on April 10 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677. FIRST COAST CHORALE This area singing group performs pieces by Von Bingen, Pergolessi, Lotti, Liszt and Fauré at 4 p.m. on April 10 at Hendricks Avenue Baptist Church, 4001 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. 396-7745. THE TBA BIG BAND This big band performs modern jazz at 7 p.m. on April 11 at Harmonious Monks, 10550 Old St. Augustine Road, Jacksonville. 880-3040. DUO FLUTE RECITAL Acclaimed flautists Rhonda Cassano and Laura Dwyer are joined in concert by pianist Dr. Erin Bennett at 7:30 p.m. on April 11 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878. JB SCOTT’S SWINGIN’ ALL STARS Trumpeter Scott leads his combo through standards and originals at 8 p.m. on April 11 at European Street Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. ORCHESTRA INVITATIONAL CONCERT Dr. Simon Shiao conducts the Titusville High School Orchestra at 7:30 p.m. on April 12 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878. JAZZ AT THE BRASSERIE Live jazz is featured at 7 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at The Brasserie, 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 249-5800.

Jacksonville Arboretum & Gardens presents “A Brush with Nature — Plein Air Festival” on April 7 and 8 from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. and on April 9 from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at 1445 Millcoe Road, Jacksonville. A total of 38 local artists (pictured, a Randy Pitts’ work) give demonstrations and workshops as they paint the flora and fauna of the gardens’ 120 acres. Proceeds from works sold benefit the arboretum. abrushwithnature.org

JAZZ AT TREE STEAKHOUSE Boril Ivanov Trio performs at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum performs at 7 p.m. every Fri. at The Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 262-0006. JAZZ AT GENNARO’S Gennaro’s Ristorante Italiano features live jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at 5472 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. 491-1999. JAZZ AT INDIGO ALLEY Amelia Arts Academy Jazz Ensemble jams at 6:30 p.m.; Frankie’s Jazz Jam is on at 7:30 p.m. on April 5. Guitarist Dan Voll plays from 8-11 p.m. on April 9 at 316 Centre St., Fernandina Beach. 261-7222. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie features live jazz nightly at 7 p.m. at 66 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 825-0502.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK This self-guided tour, themed “Artistic Ambitions,” is held from 5-9 p.m. on April 6 in downtown Jacksonville, spanning a 15-block radius of galleries, museums, bars and eateries. 634-0303 ext. 230. A BRUSH WITH NATURE PLEIN AIR FESTIVAL Jacksonville Arboretum & Gardens hosts 38 local artists painting the flora and fauna of the gardens’ 120 acres from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. on April 7 and 8 and from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. on April 9 at 1445 Millcoe Road, Jacksonville. Demonstrations and workshops are featured. abrushwithnature.org JACKSONVILLE FINE ART FESTIVAL This inaugural event features arts and crafts vendors as well as live music from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on April 9 and 10 at Boone Park, located between St. Johns Ave. and Herschel St. in Avondale. A shuttle runs from FSCJ’s Kent Campus and the festival site. 384-9798, 388-1188. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. 353-1188. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET The Arts Market is held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. beneath the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville and features local and regional artists, strolling performers, bands and a farmers market. Admission is free. 554-6865, 389-2449. riversideartsmarket.com SECOND SATURDAY ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK The galleries of downtown Fernandina Beach are open from 5:30-8 p.m. on April 9 for this self-guided tour. 277-0717. THE DROP SHOW This evening of fashion and music features local designers, a hairstyle show, custom T-shirt printing booth and a live performance by BLORR during the runway show at 8 p.m. on April 9 at Push Push Salon, 299 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Admission is $5. 547-2341.

MUSEUMS AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St.,

Fernandina Beach, 261-7378. The exhibit “200 Years of Fernandina” runs through June. The permanent collection includes artifacts from Nassau County’s Spanish Mission period. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY CENTER 413 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657. Homer Humphries signs copies of his book “Recollections of the Rebirth of a City” at 5 p.m. on April 8. Linda Olsen’s “Water All Around” runs through May 3. The juried exhibit “Magical History Tour Act I & II” is on display through April 30. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Francis Ayls’ video exhibit, “Something and Nothing,” is on display through April 8. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 356-6857. Barbara Colaciello presents her one-woman play celebrating Ninah Cummer at 7 p.m. on April 5. Admission is $5. “The Cummer Legacy” runs through May 22. The Livingston Elementary School Exhibition features student artwork through May 9. The photo exhibit, “A Genius for Place: American Landscapes of the Country Place Era,” runs through April 24. Maggie Holmes is the featured artist during Artist In Store at 5 p.m. on April 12. “Art for Two” allows children ages 3-5 and their favorite adult a chance to explore the galleries and create art every Tues. from 5-6 p.m.; $15 for two; $10 for members. DOW MUSEUM OF HISTORIC HOUSES 149 Cordova St., St. Augustine, 823-9722. Kathryn Arango’s quilt art, “Jungle Series,” is exhibited through May 29. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. A collection of Sigmund Freudrelated manuscripts is on display through April. Open Tue.Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 824-2874. Art, decorative arts and large collections of everything from china to seashells are on permanent display. Admission is $10 for adults, $5 for students. Ages 12 and younger are admitted free. Open daily. MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Road, Jacksonville, 268-0784. This museum at Walter Jones Historical Park, featuring a maple leaf exhibit, is home to the Harriet Beecher Stowe Garden. MARITIME HERITAGE CENTER 2 Independent Drive, Ste. 162, Jacksonville, 355-1101. Formerly the Jacksonville Maritime Museum, this new museum holds its grand opening from 11 a.m.-5 p.m. on April 9. The permanent collection includes steamboats and various nauticalthemed art. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. Jason John discusses “Aspects of Contemporary Figurative Art” at 10:30 a.m. on April 6. The scavenger hunt “Sip, Snack and Search” is held at 7 p.m. on April 6 during First Wednesday Art Walk. “The Butterfly Project” offers autistic children and their families the chance to collaborate with a visual artist on a Plein Air painting from 9:30-11:30 a.m. on April 9 at Jacksonville Arboretum & Gardens, 1445 Millcoe Road. Fee is $5. Registration is required at mocajacksonville.org. Family Fun Free Day is held from noon-4 p.m. every Sun. Open Tue.-Sun. mocajacksonville.org

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this is a copyright protected proof © MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville, 396-6674. The Bryan Gooding Planetarium offers daily programs including children’s features, and weekend Cosmic Concerts. Open daily. RITZ THEATRE & LAVILLA MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. Spoken Word is featured at 7 p.m. on April 7. The gospel musical “Your Arms Too Short To Box With God” is staged at 7:30 p.m. on April 9. Tickets are $30. The exhibit “Through Our Eyes” runs through May 21. “Lift Ev’ry Voice in LaVilla,” an exhibit of African-American history in Jacksonville, is on permanent display. Admission is $6 for adults, $3 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun. ST. PHOTIOS GREEK ORTHODOX NATIONAL SHRINE 41 St. George St., St. Augustine, 829-8205. “All Sides of the Parthenon” is displayed through June 30. XIMENEZ-FATIO HOUSE MUSEUM 20 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 829-3575. This former 18th-century boarding house offers tours as well as displays of historical artifacts.

GALLERIES 111 E. BAY STREET 111 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. F13RCE Dance Theatre presents “Ambitious Connections” at 7 p.m. on April 6 during First Wednesday Art Walk. ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 2, Atlantic Beach, 249-2222. Vicky Lennon is the featured artist for April. THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. The reception for Yvonne Lozano’s exhibit “What Happened to the Chicken?” is held from 5-9 p.m. on April 6 for First Wednesday Art Walk. ARTIFACTORY GALLERY 1801 N. Myrtle St., Jacksonville, 632-2345. Historic Durkeeville’s gallery space doubles as a game room for chess players. West African Dance classes are held at 6:30 p.m. every Thur. Each class is $10; $8 for ages 12 and younger. AT&T TOWER LOBBY 301 W. Bay St., Jacksonville. Northeast Florida Conservatory pianists perform on City Keys pianos from 5-9 p.m. on April 6 during First Wednesday Art Walk. AVONDALE ARTWORKS 3568 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville, 384-8797. Works by Dat Nguyen and Cookie Davis are displayed through April. BEE GALLERY AND STUDIO The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 108, (727) 207-3013. The opening reception for Heather Gabel’s latest exhibit, “Running With Scissors,” is held from 5-9 p.m. on April 6 during First Wednesday Art Walk. BURRO BAGS 228 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville, 677-2977. Chicken and Whiskey perform at 8 p.m. on April 6 during First Wednesday Art Walk. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY/BUTTERFIELD GARAGE TOO 137/137-C King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, 829-0078. Painter Hillary Goss’ exhibit “Botanicals” is the featured display through April. CAMPUS GALLERY FSCJ North Campus, Rm. C-122, 4501 Capper Road, Jacksonville, 632-3310. The opening reception for Sara Ebrahimi’s exhibit, “Dance of Color,” is held from 6-8 p.m. on April 5. The exhibit runs through May 24. ELEMENTAL GALLERY The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 110, 307-1885. Works by Maureen Sakakini Esposito are on display through April. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The opening reception for the exhibit “Artistic Metal – Sculpture and Jewelry” is held from 7-9 p.m. on April 8. The show runs from April 6-May 23. GALLERY 1037 Located at Reddi-Arts, 1037 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville, 398-3161. Works by Kathleen Lambert, Anthony Rieck, Tiger Gomez and Matthew Dale Proctor are displayed through April 30. HASKELL GALLERY Jax International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Road, 741-3546. A collection of art kites by Melanie Walker and George Peters of Airworks Studios is on display through June. Commissioned work by the pair is also shown in JIA’s Connector hallway. HIGH TIDE GALLERY 51 Cordova St., St. Augustine, 829-6831. The Earth Day-themed exhibit “Wild Birds” is on display through May 4. JACKSONVILLE UNIVERSITY GALLERY 2800 N. University Blvd., Jacksonville, 256-7371. The Senior Thesis Exhibition runs through April. PLUM ART & DESIGN 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069. New works by Jim Draper, Rebecca Mutz and Allison Watson are on display through June. R. ROBERTS GALLERY 3606 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville, 388-1188. Works by Madeleine Peck-Wagner, James Oleson and Kathleen Wobie are on display through April 23. SIMPLE GESTURES GALLERY 4 E. White St., St. Augustine, 827-9997. Eclectic works by Steve Marrazzo are featured. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 100 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 553-6361. The reception for Grant Ward’s exhibit, “Celebrating Planet Earth,” is held from 5-9 p.m. on April 6 during First Wednesday Art Walk. The show runs through April.

STELLERS GALLERY AT PONTE VEDRA 240 A1A N., Ste. 13, Ponte Vedra Beach, 273-6065. Steve Williams’ and Enrique Mora’s exhibit, “Forces: Mora and Williams,” runs through April 25. VAULT GALLERY 121 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville, 535promise of“Spasms benefit 7252. The reception for Jeff Whipple’s exhibit, in The Vault,” is held from 5-9 p.m. on April 6 for First Wednesday Art Walk. The show is displayed through May 27. Liz Gibson performs “Veiled Luck” at 6:30 p.m. WATERWHEEL ART GALLERY 5047 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach, 261-2535. Recent works by Henry Von Genk III and John Tassey are on display through April. W.B. TATTER STUDIO GALLERY 76 A San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-9263. Multimedia artist Michelle Robideaux-Pent’s exhibit, “Art & Artifact,” is on display through April. WILLIAMS-CORNELIUS GALLERY Daryl Bunn Studios, 643 Edison Ave., Jacksonville. 525-3368. The opening reception for Jeff Whipple’s exhibit, “Spasm Compositions,” is held from 6-8:30 p.m. on April 8. Liz Gibson performs “Learning 2 Tie” at 7p.m. WOMEN’S CENTER OF JACKSONVILLE 5644 Colcord Ave., Jacksonville, 389-7749. The opening reception for the exhibit “Lasting Impressions” is held from 6-8 p.m. on April 7. The show runs through July.

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ARTS & EATS CAFÉ 331 331 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville, 354-1999. Works by James Hance are on display. CORK & KEG WINE BAR 108 Bartram Oaks Walk, Jacksonville, 287-4310. New oil paintings by Laura D’Agnillo are displayed. JACK & DIANE’S CAFE & WINE STORE 708 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 321-1444. This artist-friendly eatery features new displays every month. NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION 119 E. Bay St., Jacksonville, 860-5451. This popular sandwich shop features works by local artists. THREE LAYERS COFFEE HOUSE 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville, 355-9791. Works by Jennifer Grey are on display through March. ZHANRAS 108 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 823-3367. The art-themed restaurant features displays of works by local artists, in rotation. ZODIAC GRILL 128 E. Adams St. Jacksonville, 354-8283. Local attorneys display their artwork and perform live music from 5:30-8:30 p.m. on April 6 during First Wednesday Art Walk. Proceeds from sold artwork benefits the Deaf and Hard of Hearing Advocacy Program at Jacksonville Area Legal Aid.

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For a complete list of galleries, go to folioweekly.com. To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com. JPEGs must be at least 3’x5’, 300 dpi to be considered for publication.

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Folio Weekly wonders, where is Don Rickles’ tribute? Steve Lippia celebrates the music of Frank Sinatra in story and song in “Simply Sinatra” on April 7 at 7:30 p.m. and April 8 at 8 p.m. at FSCJ’s Wilson Center for the Arts, South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $40.50. 632-3373.

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www.tkosthaihut.com April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 37

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the mustard seed cafe

Located inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with Lisa Harter’s impeccable style. Popular items are ginger chicken salad, falafel pitas, black bean burgers and Asian noodles with tuna. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

lulu’s at the thompson house

Lulu’s owners, Brian and Melanie Grimley, offer an innovative lunch menu, including po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in the gardens of the historic Thompson House. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp is the focus every Thursday), and nightly specials. An extensive wine list and beer are available. Open for lunch and dinner Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations are recommended. 11 S. Seventh Street 904-432-8394

plae restaurant & lounge

Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly. Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted. 80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

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cafe karibo

Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches. 27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 south eats

This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices. The eclectic menu offers traditional world cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. Mon.-Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com 29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

brett’s waterway café

Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily. Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

t-ray’s burger station moon river pizza

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you. 925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

the surf

Enjoy a casual beach atmosphere in the full-service restaurant, bar and huge oceanview deck. Extensive menu features delicious steaks, fresh seafood and nightly specials. Also featuring salads, wraps, burgers, seafood baskets and our famous all-you-can-eat wing specials (Wed. & Sun.). Take-out available. Open at 11 a.m. daily for lunch, dinner and latenight menu. Entertainment nightly and 29 TVs throughout. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-261-5711

picante grill rotisserie bar

Brand-new Picante offers the vibrant flavors of Peru and Latin America, served in a contemporary atmosphere. The menu includes authentic Peruvian cebiche and home-style empanadas. An extensive selection of boutique South American wines and craft brew beers are offered. A children’s menu and take-out are available. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee 904-310-9222

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go! Now serving Beer & Wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays. 202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

jack & diane’s

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite! 708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

kelley’s courtyard café

From She Crab Soup and salads, fried green tomatoes and a delectable selection of gourmet sandwiches and wraps, visitors to this bright café and patio are treated to a memorable meal. Signature desserts, vegetarian dishes and catering are available, too. Open Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Dinner 5:30-9pm. 19 S. Third Street 904-432-8213

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville 38 | folio weekly | April 5-11, 2011

EVENTS

FLAGLERPALOOZA Amy Hendrickson & the Prime Directive, One Hit Wonder, Feral Swine Experiment, Love Chunk, Wobbly Toms, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine and Waiting On Brian perform from 9 a.m.-10 p.m. on April 9 on the West Lawn of Flagler College, 74 King St., St. Augustine. 829-6481. LAURA INGRAHM Conservative talk-show host Laura Ingraham discusses education, healthcare reform, family values and big government on April 7 at 7 p.m. at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets are $25 and $100. 470-4615, 620-1000. DON’S FRIENDS 5K The second annual Don’s Friends 5K Run/ Walk kicks off with a disco street party, costume contest and beer tent at noon on April 8 at St. Augustine Beach Pier, 350 A1A S. Race day starts with a 7 a.m. sign-up; the 5K is at 8:30 a.m on April 9. Stand-up paddleboard races (1 p.m.) are followed by a disco street party. Proceeds benefit the Don Ausman Foundation’s Alternative Break program. donsfriend.com WALK IN MY SHOES This walk to raise awareness about sexual abuse starts at 4 p.m. on April 9 at 4010 Lewis Speedway, St. Augustine, and continues to Flagler College’s West Lawn, 74 King St., St. Augustine, where live music and survivor remarks are featured. The walk picks up at 7 a.m. on April 11 at the Old Town Trolley, 167 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, continuing to The Avenues Mall, 10300 Southside Blvd., Jacksonville. From there, the walk begins at 9 a.m. on April 12, finishing at EverBank Field, downtown. Lauren Book, of Lauren’s Kids Foundation, reads and signs copies of her book, “It’s OK to Tell,” at 3 p.m. on April 12 at Women’s Center, 5644 Colcord Ave., Jacksonville. laurenskids.org COSMIC CONCERTS Laseropolis at 5 p.m., Led Zeppelin at 6 p.m., Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon at 7 p.m., and Pink Floyd Best of The Wall at 8 p.m. on April 8 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Each concert is $5. 396-6674 ext. 240. moshplanetarium.org BEACHES GREEN MARKET Local produce, all-natural beef, organic eggs and coffees and crafts are offered from 2-5 p.m. every Sat. in Jarboe Park, corner of Florida Boulevard and Third Street, Neptune Beach. beacheslocalfoodnetwork.web MIDWEEK MARKET Fresh locally grown produce, nuts, honey, eggs, plants, and baked goods are offered, along with live music from 4-7 p.m. every Wed. at Bull Park, at Ocean Boulevard and East Coast Drive at Seventh Street, Atlantic Beach. 247-5828. coab.us JAX LANDING MARKET Vendors set up throughout The Landing selling locally grown produce, baked goods, plants, pottery, arts and crafts and more, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Friday at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. JacksonvilleLanding.com RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Tobacco Pat, Robbie Hazen & the Riot and LaVilla School of the Arts Jazz Band perform on April 9 at Riverside Arts Market, held beneath the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville. The Arts Market features local and regional artists, performers, bands and a farmers market from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. through Dec. 17. Admission is free. 554-6865, 389-2449. riversideartsmarket.com ARBORETUM GALA The Jacksonville Arboretum & Gardens hosts an after-party following three-day plein air celebration (see Arts listing, p. 34) with a gala reception and sale from 7-9 p.m. on April 9 at Gate Riverplace Tower, 1301 Gulf Life Drive, downtown. Guests can purchase one of the paintings produced during the plein air event. Admission is $50. 6411009. abrushwithnature.org UNDER THE SAME SUN Folio Weekly writer Kara Pound, whose daughter has albinism, hosts a fundraiser for this albinism advocacy group from 5-9 p.m. on April 9 at Anchor Boutique, 210 St. George St., St. Augustine. Food, drink, live music and a silent auction are featured. (386) 237-4500. underthesamesun.com

POLITICS & ACTIVISM

HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION The JHRC offers the free seminar, “Fair Housing Laws the Housing Provider,” from 1-4 p.m. on April 8 at Main Library, Conference Center, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. 630-1212 ext. 3020. COMMUNITY BUDGET WORKSHOP JCCI presents a workshop from 9-11:30 a.m. on April 9 at Clanzel Brown Community Center, 4545 Moncrief Road, Jacksonville and from 9-11:30 a.m. on April 16 at Cecil Recreation Complex, 13611 Normandy Blvd. myjaxbudget.com JACKSONVILLE CITY COUNCIL The Finance Committee holds its agenda meeting at 9:30 a.m. on April 5 in Conference Room A, followed by its regular meeting at 10 a.m. in Council Chambers, City Hall, 117 W. Duval St., Jacksonville. TRUE Commission holds a public meeting regarding the SMG stadium contract at 10:30 a.m. on April 5 in Ste. 425, Conference Room B; 630-1405. The Public Health & Safety Committee meets at 2 p.m. on April 5, Council Chambers. The Land Use & Zoning Committee holds its agenda meeting at 3:30 p.m. on April 5 in Conference Room A. The LUZ Committee meets at 5 p.m. in Council Chambers. The council meets regarding sign ordinance changes at 5 p.m. on April 6, in First Floor Chambers; 630-1388. REGIONAL COUNCIL The Northeast Florida Regional Council meets at 10 a.m. on April 7 at 6850 Belfort Oaks Place,

Jacksonville. 279-0880. JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee of this crime-fighting initiative meets at 4 p.m. on April 21 in Eighth Floor Conference Room 851, Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. 630-1273.

COMMUNITY INTEREST

SOUP & ART A fundraiser for Communities In Schools features homemade soup served in bowls made by students of the Hastings O.U.R. Center. Live music, a silent auction and handmade art are featured from noon-3 p.m. on April 10 at Genung’s Fish Camp, 291 Cubbedge Road, St. Augustine. 824-0746. cisstjohns.org SYMPHONY FUNDRAISER The Showcase Speaker Series is held at this year’s designer showhouse, the Coxwell Estate, 9433 Coxwell Lane, Jacksonville. Donald Wright speaks at 11 a.m. on April 5, Dr. Joanne Dragun speaks on April 6, Louise Johnson is in on April 7 and 16, Jeanne Ward is featured on April 12. A complete list of speakers is available at jaxsymphonyshowhouse.com. The showhouse is open through April 24. For tickets, call 358-1479. RUNWAY TO DIGNITY Neiman Marcus Orlando presents spring fashions at this inaugural fundraiser for Dignity U Wear from 7-9:30 p.m. on April 7 on the riverfront at the Times-Union Center, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $500. 636-9624. WALKING FOR HD Team Hope’s annual walk to benefit Huntington’s disease, featuring live music and a raffle, is held at 2 p.m. (registration at 1 p.m.) on April 9 at The Jacksonville Landing Northbank, downtown. 629-4448. hdsa.org BRAZILIAN DINNER BENEFIT First Coast No More Homeless Pets holds its second annual Brazilian dinner and silent auction from 6-9:30 p.m. on April 7 at Espeto Brazilian Steak House, 4000 St. Johns Ave., Avondale. Tickets are $75. 425-0005. fcnmhp.org HISTORY ALIVE The Amelia Island Museum of History holds its annual fundraiser at 5 p.m. on April 10 at Pepper’s Restaurant, 520 Centre St., Fernandina Beach. The area’s Mexican heritage is celebrated with a mariachi band, a Spanish guitar player and food. Tickets are $30. 261-7378. PONTE VEDRA CAR SHOW Ponte Vedra Beach Chamber of Commerce holds its annual car show featuring more than 150 antique, classic, custom and new automobiles from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. on April 10 at TPC Sawgrass, 110 Championship Way, Ponte Vedra. 285-2004. PAWS AFTER HOURS The Ponte Vedra Beach Chamber of Commerce hosts Paws After Hours from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on April 6 at Pusser’s Caribbean Grille, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra. Prizes for Best Dressed, Best Behaved and Best Trick are featured. Admission is $10 for members, $15 for guests; $20 at the door. 285-2004. pontevedrachamber.org CYCLE FOR LIFE The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation holds this inaugural bike tour on April 10 ($45 registration is 7 a.m.) at Ring Power Corp., 500 World Commerce Parkway, St. Augustine. A 65-mile and 29-mile tour are scheduled. 733-3560. cff.org EARTH WORKS SPRING SEMINARS The seventh annual garden party, featuring seminars, food and flowers, is held at 10 a.m. on April 9 at Earth Works Garden Center, 12501 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. 996-0712. NUTRITION MONTH FOOD DRIVE Concorde Career Institute and Second Harvest North Florida are collecting nonperishable grocery items at 7960 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville, through April 7. 725-0525. FRA BRANCH 290 DOES THE COOKING Fleet Reserve Association, Branch 290, serves dinner from 5-8 p.m. on April 5, 8, 9 and 12, at Branch 290, 390 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach. Breakfast is held from 8 a.m.-noon on April 10. Lunch is served 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m. every weekday. Prices vary. The General Assembly meets at 7:30 p.m. on April 7. FRA, a global veteran’s organization, represents active duty and retired Navy, Marine Corps and Coast Guard members. 246-6855. AARP TAX ASSISTANCE This tax assistance is available from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. every Mon., by appointment only, at The Players Community Senior Center, 175 Landrum Lane, Ponte Vedra. 280-3233. B.E.A.M. TAX TEAM An income tax preparation team helps prepare returns on Fri. and Sat. at Beaches Emergency Assistance Ministry, 850 Sixth Ave. S., Ste 400, Jax Beach. Call 241-2326 ext. 1 from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Mon.-Thur. and from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. on Fri. to schedule an appointment. FREE SHRED EVENT A mobile shred truck is on hand from 4:30-8 p.m. on April 6 in the Parking Lot near concession stand building at Ponte Vedra Beach High School, 460 Davis Park Road, Ponte Vedra. Limit of 10 boxes. 421-3888.

KIDS

DISNEY ON ICE: LET’S CELEBRATE! Mickey, Minnie, the Princesses, Woody and Buzz Light-year are all featured on skates, celebrating birthdays and the seasons. The gang appears at 7:30 p.m. on April 7, 8 and 9, at 3:30 p.m. on April 8 and 9, at 11:30 a.m. on April 9, and at 1 and 5 p.m. on April 10 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., downtown. Tickets range from $15-$50. 630-3900. FIELD OF DREAMS BASEBALL Opening day for this new

Connie May Fowler: As part of the Writers in Residence lecture series, author Fowler (“Remembering Blue,” “Before Women Had Wings”) reads from her new book, “How Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly,” at 7 p.m. on April 7 in Flagler College auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine. Admission is free. 819-6400. turf ball field designed for mentally or physically disabled children, is held at 9 a.m. on April 9 at Aberdeen Park, 1401 Shetland Drive, St. Johns. 887-8807. For details about the program, visit fodbaseball.com ART & GARDENING Art and gardening activities for kids are held from 9-11 a.m. on April 9 at The Beaches Museum and History Center, 380 Pablo Ave., Jacksonville Beach. Admission is free. 241-5657. TEEN MUSIC JAM NIGHTS Bring your gear and jam from 7-10 p.m. on April 9 at Unitarian Universalism Fellowship, 2487 A1A S., St. Augustine. The $5 admission gets you pizza, snacks and drinks. Alcohol, drug and smoke free. uufsa.org CTEEN EVENT The timeless secrets of life are discussed at 5 p.m. on April 6 at Chabad at the Beaches, 521 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. All Jewish teens ages 13-15 may attend. 543-9301. UNF SUMMER CAMPS University of North Florida’s Department of Campus Recreation is registering now for summer camps, including Youth Sports & Fitness Camp, Icecap and Soccer Skills Camp with Coach Ray Bunch. For fees, dates, times and details and all registration, go to unf.edu/recsports. 620-2998. LIBRARY EVENTS Mad Hatter Tea Party is held at 2 p.m. on April 9 at Southeast Branch Library, 6670 U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine. Family story time is held at 11 a.m. every Tue. at Ponte Vedra branch, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra. After-school crafts with teens is held at 4 p.m. on April 6. 827-6900. sjcpls.org

BOOKS & WRITING

CONNIE MAY FOWLER As part of the Writers in Residence lecture series, author Fowler (“Remembering Blue,” “Before Women Had Wings”) reads from her new book, “How Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly,” at 7 p.m. on April 7 in Flagler College auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine. Admission is free. 819-6400. THIRD THURSDAY LECTURE SERIES Katherine Kane, director of the Harriet Beecher Stowe Center, discusses “A Well-Traveled Woman — Harriet Beecher Stowe at 200,” at 7 p.m. on April 7 at Mandarin Community Club, 12447 Mandarin Road, Jacksonville. 268-0784. FRIDAY 5 O’CLOCK WHISTLE TALKS This program, held weekly, features local author Homer Humphries, who discusses his book, “Recollections of the Rebirth of a City,” from 5-6:30 p.m. on April 8 at The Beaches Museum and History Center, 380 Pablo Ave., Jacksonville Beach.

COMEDY

JOHN HENTON The Comedy Zone features All Stars on April 5. “Living Single”’s John Henton appears at 8 p.m. on April 6, 7 and 8 and at 8 and 10 p.m. on April 9 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, in the Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $10-$17. 292-4242. JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Amy Dingler and Tom Allan appear on April 8 and 9 at Jackie Knight’s Comedy Club, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine (U.S. 1 & S.R. 16). Tickets are $12. 461-8843. CHRIS JOHNSTON “Last Comic Standing”’s Carmen Vallone appears with Eric Henley at 7:45 p.m. on April 7 and 8 and at 6:45 p.m. on April 9 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside. Tickets are $10 and $13. 365-5555.

UPCOMING

FOLIO WEEKLY’S MARGARITA FEST April 15, Morocco Shrine Auditorium KATIE RIDE FOR LIFE April 16, Fernandina Beach GUNS & HOSES CHARITY BOXING April 16, Veterans Memorial Arena SHRIMP FESTIVAL April 28-May 1, Fernandina Beach SHREK May 10, T-U Center STEVE HARVEY & KIRK FRANKLIN May 21, Veterans

Memorial Arena BILL MAHER May 27, The Florida Theatre BUDDY VALASTRO “THE CAKE BOSS” June 5, T-U Center

NATURE, SPORTS & OUTDOORS JACKSONVILLE SUNS The hometown Suns — Division Champs — kick off their first homestand of the regular season against the Huntsville Stars at 7:05 p.m. on April 7 at the Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. General admission is $12.50. Games continue at 7:05 p.m. on April 8 and 9, at 3:05 p.m. on April 10 and at 1:05 p.m. on April 11. 358-2846. jaxsuns.com WHITE OAK CELEBRATION White Oak Conservation Center holds a fundraising celebration at 1 p.m. on April 10 at the center, 581705 White Oak Road, Yulee. A cheetah run, tours, dinner and a silent auction are featured. Tickets are $200. 225-3262. whiteoakconservation.org FIRE: FRIEND OR FOE? A park ranger discusses how fire impacts the environment at 2 p.m. on April 9 at Pumpkin Hill Creek Preserve State Park, 13802 Pumpkin Hill Road, Jacksonville, 696-5980. No reservations are necessary and the program is free. floridastateparks.org

BUSINESS

AIFBY CHAMBER Island Council gets together at 8:30 a.m. on April 6 at Applebee’s, 2006 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach. Yulee Council gathers at 8:30 a.m. on April 12 at Cafe at the Hamptons, 95742 Amelia Concourse, Yulee. info@aifby.com SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Sgt. John Robert, Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office Identity Theft Division, is the featured speaker at noon on April 6 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20 for members, $25 for nonmembers. 396-5559. annie. sbmc@yahoo.com

CLASSES & GROUPS

THE LEARNING COMMUNITY Cheesemaking 101 classes are offered at 3:30 p.m. on April 9 at 626 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach. Spanish cuisine class is held at 4 p.m. on April 10. For additional classes and details, call 430-0120. tlcnf.com BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU Classes are open to men, women, and children, beginning, intermediate, and advanced, from 7-9 p.m. every Mon.-Thur., and from 10 a.m.-noon every Sat. at East Coast Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, 7035 Philips Highway, Ste. 7, Jacksonville. The first lesson is free. 554-7800. YOGA AT THE GRANARY A yoga class is held at 10:30 a.m. every Thur. at The Granary, 1738 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park. Classes are $12 each. 264-5443. SCRABBLE CLUB This Jacksonville group gathers at 1 p.m. every Wed. at Golden Corral, 11470 San Jose Blvd., and every Thur. at Barnes & Noble, 11112 San Jose Blvd. For times, email curtlee59@aol.com. All levels are welcome. 733-1565. JAX JUGGLERS Future jugglers gather from 6-7 p.m. every second Tue. and every fourth Mon. at San Marco Library’s Balis Center, 1514 LaSalle St., Jacksonville. Admission is free. jaxjugglers.org NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem? Maybe they can help. 358-6262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna. org, firstcoastna.org NAR-A-NON This group meets at 8 p.m. every Tue. and Thur. at 4172 Shirley Ave., Avondale. 945-7168. To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to events@ folioweekly.com or click the link in our Happenings section at folioweekly.com.

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DINING GUIDE KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE (In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.) THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining is offered in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences. Awardwinning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BEEF O’BRADY’S FAMILY SPORTS PUB F Signature wings, burgers and sandwiches. BW. TO. L & D, daily. 1916 S. 14th St. 261-0555. (For more locations, visit beefobradys.com) $$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS F The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 An Italian kitchen and wine bar. Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials. Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The RitzCarlton, Amelia Island, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$ ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS Traditional Spanish and Portuguese dishes, tapas and paella are served in a cozy atmosphere. BW, CM. D nightly. 22 S. Fourth St. 261-7700. $$$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a onethird-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENERAL STORE F This new store has a little bit of everything. Breakfast includes hot rope sausage, lunch features the Redneck Reuben. Deli meats, cheeses, chicken, fish, pizzas and pasta, too. BW. B, L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 310-6080. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5 S. Second St., 261-9400. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ F Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.-Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE An innovative lunch menu includes po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in a historic house. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp every Thur.); nightly specials. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations recommended. 11 S. Seventh St. 432-8394. $$ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE F Locally owned and operated, serving specialty coffees and fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drive-thru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Northernstyle pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery and juice bar. Extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Wraps, sandwiches, soups. CM. B & L, Mon.Sat. 833 T.J. Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups

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served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2128 Sadler Rd. 272-2011. $$ PICANTE GRILL ROTISSERIE BAR Brand-new Picante offers flavors of Peru and Latin America, served in a contemporary atmosphere. The menu includes authentic Peruvian cebiche and homestyle empanadas. BW, CM, TO. B, L & D daily. 464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee. 310-9222. $$ PLAE In Spa & Shops at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, the cozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2010 winner. Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ SANDOLLAR RESTAURANT & MARINA F Dine inside or on the deck. Snow crab legs, fresh fish, shellfish dishes. FB. L & D, daily. 9716 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island. 251-2449. $$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on large oceanview deck. Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp and nightly specials. Late-night menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2010 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily. 6132 Merrill Rd. 744-2333. $$ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106. MEEHAN’S TAVERN F This Irish pub and restaurant serves beef and Guinness stew, Philly cheese steak sandwiches, traditional lamb stew and jalapeño poppers, made fresh onsite, in a comfy atmosphere. Wifi, HDTVs, non-smoking. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5. 551-7076. $$ ORANGE TREE HOT DOGS F Orange Tree serves hot dogs with slaw, chili cheese or sauerkraut, as well as personal size pizzas. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9501 Arlington Expwy., Regency Square. 7213595. (orangetreehotdogs.com) $ PITA EXPRESS Philly, chicken fajita, falafel, chicken Caesar salad and eggplant parmigiana pitas, plus omelets and pancakes. CM. B, L & D, daily. 2754 Trollie Lane. 674-2637. $ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR F Generous portions and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BEETHOVEN’S BAGEL BISTRO All-day breakfast with French toast & bagels. Lunch is deli, wraps, Reubens, paninis; dinner offers paella, chicken & dumplings. CM, BYOB. B, L & D, Wed.Sat.; B & L, Sat. & Sun. 5917 Roosevelt Blvd. 771-6606. $$ BISCOTTIS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials. B, Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Halfportions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L & D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Middle Eastern cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily. 3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ THE FOX RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Fox has been a Jacksonville landmark for 50-plus years. Owners Ian and Mary Chase serve classic diner-style fare, featuring homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ ORSAY Best of Jax 2010 winner. The French/American bistro focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Tues.-Sat. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ RUAN THAI The elegant Avondale restaurant offers authentic Thai cuisine, including curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 3951 St. Johns Ave. 384-6665. $$$ TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30

Walter Coker

Jenkins Quality Barbecue does BBQ the old-fashioned way, serving beef, pork, chicken, ribs and all the sides at three locations around Jacksonville, including Emerson Street (pictured).

years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ ’town Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Ostrander bring farm-to-table to Northeast Florida at the new Avondale restaurant, offering American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-owned-andoperated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brickoven-baked pizza, and traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs. Dine-in or delivered. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3. 519-8000. $$ BOWL OF PHO This restaurant offers traditional Vietnamese noodle soup and authentic favorites like spring rolls, shrimp wraps and egg rolls. Big portions and a laid-back atmosphere. 9902 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-4455. $$ CAFE CONFLUENCE This European coffeehouse serves Italian specialty coffees and smoothies, along with paninis, salads and European chocolates. Outdoor dining. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 8612 Baymeadows Rd. 733-7840. $ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT Owner Celso Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas and burritos. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deepdish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $$ THE FIFTH ELEMENT F The first four elements are earth, water, air and fire — but here they prepare authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Extensive menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast. CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE F This Lebanese restaurant offers authentic Mediterranean cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ MAYURI INDIAN CUISINE F Traditional Indian items include tandoori specials, South Indian, Indo-Chinese, vegetarian, biryani and thali style dishes. BW. L & D. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 10. 448-5999. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and

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vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE Center-cut beef, fresh seafood and sandwiches served in an English taverncall atmosphere. For questions, please yourTheadvertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include FAX IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 crème YOUR brûlée. FB. PROOF L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Serving traditional Thai and vegetarian items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu in PROMISE OF BENEFIT ab SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION ProducedSUPPORT by ____ Checked ASK by ____ PROMISE OF BENEFIT FOR a contemporary atmosphere. B/W. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F See Beaches. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$

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040511 For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

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BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.) A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, fried Ipswich clams, crab or clam cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, haddock sandwich, clam chowdah, birch beer and blueberry soda. Dine inside or on the deck. TO. L, Fri.-Tue. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Subs are made-toorder fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ ATOMIC FLYING FISH SEAFOOD TACO GRILL F Beach-casual with Cali-style fish, steak, blackened gator tacos and sides. L & D, daily. 309 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 372-0882. $$ BEACH BUDS CHICKEN F This cozy, family-owned place serves marinated fried or baked chicken: family meals (kids like Peruvian nuggets), giant tenders, in box lunches and as MiniMe sandwiches, along with gizzards, livers, 15 sides and fried or blackened shrimp, fish, conch fritters, deviled crabs. TO. L & D, daily. 1289 Penman Road. 247-2828. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets and Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno family imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheesesteak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers and dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ THE BRASSERIE & BAR French/European-style bistro and bar offers coq au vin, French onion soup, fritto misto, Moroccan-style lamb shank. FB. D, Tue.-Sun. 1312 Beach Blvd. 249-5800. $$$ BUDDHA’S BELLY Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 301 10th Ave. N. 712-4444. $$ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CARIBBEE KEY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AmerCaribbean cuisine includes seafood, steaks and sandwiches. Open-air deck bar upstairs; outdoor dining downstairs. FB. L & D, daily. 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach. 270-8940. $$ CASA MARIA See Springfield. 2429 S. Third St. 372-9000. CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE F The menu features favorites from The Homestead, like fried chicken,

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April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 41

homemade-style biscuits and cornbread, served in a family atmosphere inside a cozy log cabin. CM, FB. Sun. brunch; D, daily. 1712 Beach Blvd. 249-4776. $$ CRAB CAKE FACTORY JAX Chef Kahn Vongdara presents an innovative menu of seafood dishes and seasonal favorites. FB. L & D daily. The Factory’s Ashley Hayek is a 2010 Best of Jax winner for Best Bartender. 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza. 247-9880. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB F Four Culhane sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, featuring Guy Fieri’s (“Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives”) fave items — Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595. $$ DICK’S WINGS F This NASCAR-themed place serves 365 varieties of wings. The menu also features half-pound burgers, ribs and salads. BW, TO. L & D daily. 2010 Best of Jax winner for Best Chicken Wings. 2434 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach, 372-0298. 311 N. Third St., 853-5004. $ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F This new Jax Beach restaurant serves gastropub fare like soups, salads, flatbreads and specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Daily specials, too. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd. 249-3001. $ FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets, grilled tuna and an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HALA SANDWICH SHOP & BAKERY Authentic Middle Eastern favorites include gyros, shwarma, pita bread, made fresh daily. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 249-2212. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 Third St. S. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Western-style seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The fullservice restaurant offers corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MEZZA LUNA RISTORANTE F A Beaches tradition for 20+ years. Favorites are Szechuan ahi tuna, lasagna Bolognese and wood-fired pizza. Inside or patio. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$ MIMI’S SPORTS GRILLE East meets West: Every dish is infused with Asian style and ingredients, including lumpia, yaki tori and several kinds of sushi. FB. L & D daily. 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 270-1030. $$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar atmosphere. Favorites are pulled pork, Texas brisket and slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd. 247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25 years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings. Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NORTH BEACH BISTRO F Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco with truffled mushroom risotto; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach. 372-4105. $$$ OCEAN 60 Best of Jax 2010 winner. A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu. Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.-Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 First St. N. 208-5097. $ PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT F The family-style restaurant has an outdoor patio and an extensive menu, including the mariner’s platter and the Original Dreamboat. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 904 Sixth Ave. S. 249-0608. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks are made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent. Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK F An array of specialty menu items, including signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos and local fried shrimp, in a casual, trendy open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 Third St. N. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. 111

42 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-RIBS. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried cheese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-8226. $$ THAI ROOM RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Dine in an intimate setting as Chef Thepsouvanh prepares Thai cuisine like crispy duck or pan-seared Chilean sea bass. BW. L, Mon.Fri. D, Mon.-Sat. 1286 S. Third St. 249-8444. $$$ TWO DUDES SEAFOOD PLACE Brand new, serving up-tothe-minute-fresh Mayport seafood, including shrimp, scallops, snapper and oysters in sandwiches or baskets, grilled, blackened or fried. The Dudes’ salad and a Caesar salad are also available. B, TO. L & D daily. 22 Seminole Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-2000. $ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapasstyle menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive) ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL F The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CAFÉ NOLA AT MOCA JAX On the first floor of Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, Cafe Nola serves shrimp and grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Thur. 333 N. Laura St. 366-6911 ext. 231. $4 CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB On the Trolley route. A sports bar vibe: 16 bigscreen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches & sides, AYCE wings buffet, soup-n-salad. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd. 356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $ INDOCHINE Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated. Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ JULIETTE’S & J-BAR Serving dinner before (or dessert after) a show. Breakfast buffet. J-Bar serves bistro-inspired small plates. FB. Daily. Omni Hotel, 245 W. Water St. 355-6664. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine. Indoor and outdoor dining and bar. FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Mon.-Fri.; L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550. 791-9797. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. BW. B & L, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ HONEY B’S CAFE Breakfast includes omelets, pancakes, French toast. Lunch offers entrée salads, quiches and build-your-own burgers. Peanut butter pie is a customer favorite. Tea parties are held every Sat. B & L, daily. 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 8. 264-7325. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MERCURY MOON F Appetizers, sandwiches, desserts. Daily specials. TO, FB. L & D, daily. 2015 C.R. 220. 215-8999. $$ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ ROCKIN RODZ BAR & GRILLE This place offers fresh fare, like Stratocaster shrimp, Hot Rod gumbo and handmade gourmet Angus burgers, served in a rockin’, upscale casual atmosphere. Dine indoors or out. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2574 C.R. 220, Stes. 4-7. 276-2000. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F This renowned seafood place, familyowned since 1963, specializes in AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. Come by car, boat or bike. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Brucci’s offers authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family

Advertising proo Dustin Hegedus

this is a copyright protected proo For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 040511 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 promise of benefit

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Hand-cut steaks, fresh salmon, and a full array of wings and burgers set the stage at Jerry’s Sports Grille, on the corner of Hodges and Atlantic Boulevard in Jacksonville’s Intracoastal West neighborhood.

atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE A varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The family-ownedand-operated restaurant serves authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas and pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, including breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$ TKO’S THAI HUT F The menu offers Thai fusion, curry dishes, chef’s specials, steaks, healthy options and sushi. Hookahs are available. Dine inside or on the covered patio. FB. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 46. 647-7546. $$ ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL Traditional Mediterranean family recipes are blended to create Spanish, French, Italian and Middle Eastern inspired dishes. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Harbour Village. 221-7066. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS

BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA BAKERY & PUB F Transforms from family restaurant to pub serving Chicago-style deep dish pizza. CM, FB. D, Tue.-Fri., L & D, Sat. & Sun. 107 Nature Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Features wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk. 230-2171. $ RUSSO’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Traditional Italian cuisine includes veal, eggplant, seafood, steak. CM. D, Tue.-Sun. 2750 Race Track Rd., Ste. 106, Plantation Plaza. 287-4111. $$

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F This seafood place features an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, wings and pasta. Favorites are ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller, pitas and kabobs. Sweet potato puffs are the signature side. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F A Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, and king, snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New Yorkstyle pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones.

BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd. 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd. 880-0020. $ CASA MARIA F See Springfield. L & D, daily. 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd. 619-8186. $$ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib. Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet served daily, lunch buffet weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2010 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd. (Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily. 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ LET’S NOSH F The authentic Jewish deli offers a full breakfast, lunch, brunch and full-service deli counter. Real New York water bagels, bread baked on site and desserts. CM. B & L, daily. 9850 San Jose Blvd. 683-8346. $ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE A laid-back atmosphere with 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19. 292-0003. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ PICASSO’S PIZZERIA Picasso’s specializes in hand-tossed gourmet pizza, calzones, homemade New York-style cheesecake and handmade pasta. Fresh local seafood and steaks. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 10503 San Jose Blvd. 880-0811. $$ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a fullservice and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Made-toorder Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA This family-owned restaurant offers eggplant dishes, manicotti and New York-style pizza. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 650 Park Ave. 269-1007. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches. FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine and stuffed grouper. Chef Nick’s salmon is a favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS This Italian restaurant’s specialty is the 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella. Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches and popular lunches are served. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh

APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 43

Dustin Hegedus

GRILL ME! A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ

NAME: Narinder Singh RESTAURANT: India Restaurant 9802 Baymeadows Road, Ste. 8, Jacksonville BIRTHPLACE: Punjab, India YEARS IN THE BUSINESS: 14 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than my own): Pizza Palace FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Fresh ginger and garlic IDEAL MEAL: Paneer masala WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Spinach MOST MEMORABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: Every day is filled with memorable moments! INSIDER’S SECRET: A few extra pinches of spice every now and then. CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Chuck Norris CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Extra toppings on a deluxe pizza.

ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA F Homemade breads, pizza, white pizza, calzones and Italian entrees. Voted Best Pizza in Jax by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine offers fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster and vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily. 880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ KARMA This homey place offers favorites from here and abroad, including burgers, wings, pastas, salads and apps, prepared with fresh, local ingredients. Outdoor dining is available. Brunch menu on Sat. & Sun. CM, FB. L, Sat. & Sun.; D, daily. 822 A1A N., Ste. 105. 834-3942. $$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat. Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower. Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 280-7766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers his eclectic cuisine featuring local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2010 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Simple Faire offers breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd., Ste. 110. 683-2542. $$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club. 285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. FB. L & D, daily. 330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE AJ’S ON PARK STREET AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 598-0188. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery offers classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, all made from

44 | folio weekly | April 5-11, 2011

scratch, including popular petit fours and custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6, Riverside. 389-7117. $ CARMINE’S PIE HOUSE The brand-new Italian eatery serves pizza by the slice, gourmet pizzas, appetizers, classic Italian dishes — calzone, stromboli, subs, panini — wings, and microbrews in a casual atmosphere. BW, CM, TO, delivery. 2677 Forbes St. 387-1400. $$ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily. Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ CROSS CREEK F See Springfield. 850 S. Lane Ave. 783-9579. $$ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-and-go sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $ HJ’S BAR & GRILL F This grill serves traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JACKSONS GRILL The locally owned spot has an original menu of fried pickle chips, Rockin’ Ranch burgers, gumbo and sandwiches. BW, TO. B, L & D, daily. 1522 King St. 384-8984. $$ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.-Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemade-style sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare is prepared with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily, along with a large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, nonsmoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON THE PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating. 920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ SUSHI CAFÉ F Authentic Japanese cuisine with a variety of sushi plus entrees like king salmon, katsu and teriyaki. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2025 Riverside Ave. 384-2888. $$

TWO DOORS DOWN F Former Tad’s owner offers traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WALKERS This nightspot has a tapas menu plus a wide variety of wines, served in a rustic, intimate atmosphere. BW. Tue.-Sat. 2692 Post St. 894-7465. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS F The city’s only brew pub taps seven hand-crafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-andoperated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BARNACLE BILL’S BEACHSIDE, BARNACLE BILL’S DOWNTOWN For 30 years, these family restaurants have served seafood, oysters, gator tail, steak, and popular fried shrimp. FB, CM, TO. Downtown location, L & D daily; beach location, D nightly. 451 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 471-2434. 14 Castillo Drive, 824-3663. $$ BEACH STREET PIZZA New York and Chicago style pizzas, calzones and homemade pasta dishes, all made from fresh ingredients., served in a beach-theme atmosphere. CM. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 4171 A1A S. 461-0910. $$ THE BISTRO AT CULINARY OUTFITTERS Locals lunch on crab cakes, chicken burritos, hamburgers, wraps and soups, made with fresh ingredients. BW, TO. L, Mon.-Fri. 9 S. Dixie Hwy. 829-2727. $ THE BLACK MOLLY BAR & GRILL Brand-new Black Molly Grill serves fresh, local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D daily. 504 Geoffrey St., Cobblestone Plaza. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ATLANTICO Traditional and new Italian dishes served in an intimate space. Master Chef Paolo Pece prepares risotto alla pescatora, with shrimp, scallops and seasonal shellfish, in a parmesan cheese basket. BW. D, nightly. 647 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-7332. $$$ CAP’S ON THE WATER F This Vilano Beach mainstay offers coastal cuisine — tapas platters, cioppino, fresh local shrimp, raw oyster bar — indoors or on an oak-shaded deck. Boat access. FB. L, Fri.-Sun., D, nightly. 4325 Myrtle St., Vilano Beach. 824-8794. $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Authentic New York style brickoven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ CELLAR 6 ART GALLERY & WINE BAR Wolfgang Puck coffees, handmade desserts and light bistro-style fare amid local art. BW. Mon.-Sat. 6 Aviles St. 827-9055. $$ CREEKSIDE DINERY Creekside serves beef, chicken and seafood, with an emphasis on low-country cooking. Outdoor deck with a fire pit. FB. D, nightly. 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. 829-6113. $$ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. International menu features large portions, reasonable prices. FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ HURRICANE PATTY’S F Casual waterfront seafood place features lunch specials, nightly dinners. Dine inside or on the deck. L & D, daily. 69 Lewis Blvd. 827-1822. $$ KINGFISH GRILL At Vilano Bridge’s west end, Kingfish Grill offers casual waterside dining indoors and on the deck, featuring fresh daily catch, house specialties and sushi. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 252 Yacht Club Drive. 824-2111. $$ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution housed in an 1884 building, serving nachos, soups, sandwiches and daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just a block from the ocean,

with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $ THE ORIGINAL CAFÉ ELEVEN F Eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd. 460-9311. B, $; L & D, $$ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Family-ownedand-operated, offering specials, fresh artisan breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. BW. D, Tue.Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE The restaurant, in a Victorian home, offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ THE REEF RESTAURANT Casual oceanfront restaurant has an ocean view from every table. Fresh local seafood, steak, pasta dishes and daily chef specials. Outdoor dining. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily. 4100 Coastal Hwy. A1A, Vilano Beach. 824-8008. $$ SCARLETT O’HARA’S Best of Jax 2010 winner. Serving Southern fare, barbecue and seafood. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 70 Hypolita St. 824-6535. $$ SOUTH BEACH GRILL Located off A1A, south of the S.R. 206 bridge, this two-story beachy destination offers casual oceanfront dining and fresh local seafood. Dine indoors or out on a beachfront deck. FB. B, L & D daily. 45 Cubbedge Road, Crescent Beach. 471-8700. $ SUNSET GRILLE Casual Key West style and a seafood-heavy menu — it’s a consistent Great Chowder Debate winner. Specialties include baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp and datil pepper wings with bleu cheese dressing. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ ZHANRAS F Art-themed tapas-style place has small plate items in a casual, contemporary space. Entrée portions available. CM, FB. D, daily; Sun. brunch. 108 Anastasia Blvd. 823-3367. $$

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken and flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2010 winner. 13249 City Square Dr. 751-9711. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401. 996-6900. fiveguys.com $ THE FLAME BROILER THE RICE BOWL KING Serving food with no transfat, MSG, frying, or skin on meat. Fresh veggies, steamed brown or white rice along with grilled beef, chicken and Korean short ribs are featured. CM, TO. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 103. 619-2786. $ THE GRAPE BISTRO & WINE BAR F More than 145 wines, along with a tapas menu of gourmet fare to pair with the wine list. A wide selection of beer is also served. L & D, daily. 10281 Midtown Parkway, Ste. 119. 642-7111. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Upscale tropical vibe. Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor, including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic NYC pizzeria serves Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce, along with third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-from-theoven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown). 997-1955. $ mellowmushroom.com MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F Featuring seafood, an everchanging menu of more than 180 items includes cedar-roasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned steakhouse has an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen. Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F See Orange Park. 7860 Gate Parkway. 253-3314. $$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N. 997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, fresh seafood, sandwiches

and desserts. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ STEAMERS CAFE Steamers’ menu has all-natural and organic items, including wraps, sandwiches, subs, soups, steamer bowls, smoothies and fresh juices. Daily lunch specials. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4320 Deerwood Lake Parkway, Ste. 106. 646-4527. $ SUITE The St. Johns Town Center premium lounge and restaurant offers chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ TAVERNA YAMAS This Greek restaurant serves char-broiled kabobs, seafood and traditional Greek wines and desserts. FB. L & D daily. 9753 Deer Lake Court. 854-0426. $$ URBAN FLATS See Ponte Vedra. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Road. 642-1488. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu. CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER Best of Jax 2010 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racing-themed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-WING (9464). $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special. BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

SAN JOSE

ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Burgers, sandwiches, nachos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-2874. $ DICK’S WINGS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. NASCAR-themed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolinastyle barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

b.b.’s F A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F Best of Jax 2010 winner. French, Mediterraneaninspired fare, award-winning wines, wood-fired pizzas, housemade pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 398-1949. $$$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and on-tap beers. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd. 398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Wine by the glass. Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd. 398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $ KIRIN SUSHI F On San Marco Square. All-new sushi menu. Dine under neon in a cool atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 1950 San Marco Blvd., Ste. 1. 399-3305. $$. LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients. Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ PIZZA PALACE F It’s all homemade from Mama’s awardwinning recipes: spinach pizza and chicken-spinach calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, froyo (frozen yogurt), teas, coffees made one cup at a time, along with 30 kinds of smoothies. B, L & D, daily. 1962 San Marco Blvd. 396-9222. $ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE A Best of Jax 2010 winner. Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood in an upscale atmosphere. FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd. 306-2188. $$ SAN MARCO DELI F The independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers and lunch meats roasted daily in-house. Vegetarian options, including

tempeh, too. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitan-style wood-fired pizzas and entrées are served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd. 398-3005. $$$

SOUTHSIDE

BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ BUCA DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs are a specialty. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd. 363-9090. $$$ THE CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining. The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. The Fresh Bar offers fine wine, cocktails, martinis. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual, El Potro cooks it fresh, made-to-order — fast, hot, simple. Daily specials and buffet at most locations. BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 7330844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. elpotrorestaurant.com $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd. 398-1717. $ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serves house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. Best of Jax 2010 winner. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.Sat. 4323 University Blvd. S. 733-5141. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ LA STRADA ITALIA Nestled in a quiet corner of Bowden Road, La Strada Italia offers a pleasant ambience, a full menu of traditional Italian dishes, and affordability. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 6426 Bowden Rd., Ste. 202. 524-8219.$$ SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE This stylish yet simple gastropub features Southern-style cuisine made with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ SUNSET 30 TAVERN & GRILL Located inside the new entertainment complex Latitude 30, Sunset 30 serves familiar sportsbar fare, including burgers, chicken, pasta and pizza. FB. L & D, daily. 10370 Philips Hwy. 365-5555. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F Premium New York-style pizza from a brick-oven — the area’s original gluten-free pizzeria. Plus calzones, soups and salads; Thumann’s noMSG meats, Grande cheeses and Boylan soda. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F The family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ JAX RIVER CITY CAFÉ Traditional breakfast fare includes omelets, sandwiches. Lunch features subs, burgers, sandwiches, grilled paninis, daily hot specials. Dine-in, carryout. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 4807 N. Main St. 355-9111. $ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees like eggplant parmigiana, shrimp scampi. BW. L & D, daily. 7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-and-operated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts. CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch, served in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. 696-4001. $ SHARKY’S WINGS & GRILL A family-friendly restaurant with apps, burgers, subs & shrimp, plus 16 flavors of wings — get ’em in orders of 6-100. L & D, daily. 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Oceanway. 714-0995. $$ THREE LAYERS CAFE F Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines. Inside and courtyard dining. BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield. 355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F This modern restaurant’s menu features popular favorites: salads, sandwiches and pizza, as well as fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F Located in the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main, Uptown serves fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$

APRIL 5-11, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 45

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The Continuing Crisis

The “F State’s” Legislature at Work: Florida Senate Bill 1246, introduced in February, would make it a first-degree felony to take a picture of any farmland, even from the side of the road, without written permission of the land’s owner. The bill is perhaps an overenthusiastic attempt to This is a copyright protected proofpreempt © campaigns by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. No Sense of Shame: Nurse Sarah Casareto resigned in February from Abbott lease call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 031511 Northwestern Hospital in Minneapolis, facing F IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 possible criminal charges, after allegedly swiping Produced by jw Checked by Sales Rep the db painkiller fentanyl from a patient’s NEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION IV line as he was undergoing kidney-stone surgery (telling him once to “man up” when he complained of pain). Karen Remsing, 42, stands accused of much the same thing after her November arrest involving an unspecified pain medicine delivered by IV at University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Children’s Hospital. However, Remsing’s case was different: The IV line being shorted was that of her own, terminally ill, 15-year-old son. New Orleans clothing designer Cree McCree, an ardent environmentalist, ordinarily wouldn’t work with animal fur, but the Louisiana state pest, the nutria (swamp rat), is culled in abundance by hunters, who leave carcasses where they fall. Calling its soft-brown coat “guilt-free fur that belongs on the runway instead of at the bottom of the bayou,” McCree encouraged local designers to create nutria fashions. In November, she went big-time with a New York City show, “Nutria-palooza.” Now, according to a November New York Times report, designers Billy Reid and Oscar de la Renta are trying nutria’s “righteous fur.”

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In late 2010, a Georgia utility contractor discovered an elaborate “Internet-controlled network of web-accessible cameras” and three ©shotguns 2011aimed into a food-garden plot on a Georgia Power Company right-of-way (as Augusta Chronicle reported in January). The Georgia Wildlife Resources Division and U.S. Homeland Security took a look, but by then, the structure had been moved. Homeland Security speculated the set-up was to keep feral hogs away from food stock. Rock Chapel Elementary School Principal Angela Jennings, Lithonia, Ga., resigned after an investigation revealed she’d temporarily unenrolled 13 students last year for the sole purpose of keeping them from annual statewide tests. She feared their scores would drag down her school’s performance. When the test was over, Jennings re-enrolled them. The

FolioWeekly

46 | folio weekly | April 5-11, 2011

resignation, effective in June, was revealed in February by Atlanta’s WSB-TV.

Yikes!

Questionable Redemption: For two philanthropic gifts totaling $105,000, Jim Massen, 80, a retired TV repairman and farmer in Windsor, Ontario, has perhaps salvaged his good name, overcoming a 1990 guilty plea (and one-year jail sentence) for molesting three teenage boys. The gifts, acknowledged in February, mean that a scoreboard clock, an administrative office, the street leading to the complex and a walking trail will all be named for him. Theory of Evolution: Last year, the highly qualified agriculture expert Ricardo Salvador was passed over by Iowa State University to run its Center for Sustainable Agriculture, even after the person who finished ahead of him declined the job. According to a June Chronicle of Higher Education report, Salvador had committed an unpardonable faux pas during the hiring process — stating the obvious fact that cows everywhere, historically, eat “grass.” (Since Iowa’s dominant crop is corn, “grass” was the wrong answer.) When a Chronicle reporter asked the dean of Iowa State’s agriculture school if cows evolved eating grass, the dean said she didn’t have an “opinion” about that.

People Different From Us

Over the last 10 years, newspaper vendor Miljenko Bukovic, 56, of Valparaiso, Chile, has acquired 82 tattoos of Julia Roberts’ face on his upper body — all, he said, inspired by scenes from the movie “Erin Brockovich.” On Feb. 21, Jessica Davey, 22, of Salisbury, England, saw that her car had been wrongly immobilized with a boot. Angry at probably missing work, she locked herself in the car, thus impeding the tow truck, and remained for 30 hours, until a parking inspector dropped by and removed the boot.

Least Competent Criminals

Not Ready for Prime Time: Arkeen Thomas, 19, broke into a home in Port St. Lucie, Fla., in March, but the residents were present, and the male resident immediately punched Thomas in the mouth, sending him fleeing. Minutes later, a woman identified as Thomas’ mother arrived, picked up her son’s gold teeth that had been knocked out, and left.

Recurring Themes

Another “Sovereign” Citizen: In February, the Sarasota, Fla., Police Department fired veteran homicide detective Tom Laughlin, almost a year after he’d filed formal papers identifying himself as part of the “sovereign” movement, whose members believe they’re beyond the control of any government and can establish their own financial system (which usually makes them much richer — on paper), among other assertions. The U.S. Constitution is cited as their authority, but only the original and not the popular version, which is a sham secretly switched with the original by Pres. Abraham Lincoln. In a subsequent interview with the Sarasota Herald-Tribune, Laughlin, who had a strong record as a detective, acknowledged maybe he’d gotten carried away. Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net

HEY HOOKER, I SAW U! I saw you strutting your stuff at some wings n a boat place. Think you’re a fly chick. I know where to find you. Wanna play? When: March 29, 2011. Where: Buffalo Wild Wings. #1098-0405 SOUTHSIDE FENDER BENDER Oops! Sorry about that. You: tall, hot, unshaven, driving a truck. Me: flustered blonde on my way to work. Even though there was no damage, wish we would have exchanged info. When: Feb. 2011. Where: Southside Blvd. #1097-0405 INTRIGUED AT BONEFISH We talked briefly at BoneFish. You are a PT. We never got a chance to finish our conversation. You definitely piqued my interest. Would love to chat more and see where it goes if you are up for it. When: March 24, 2011. Where: BoneFish Jax Beach. #1096-0405 DID YOU NEED TO SEE YOUR CHIROPRACTOR? We were both looking at DVDs in the library. Hope you did not have to see your chiropractor! When: March 36, 2011. Where: Library. #1095-0405 ST. PATRICK’S AROUND MIDNIGHT You: blond, young, attractive, next to me at the bar. Neither of us said a word. You kept caressing my arm. I should have said hello, or at least bought you a drink. When: March 17, 2011. Where: Lynch’s Irish Pub. #1094-0405 WHAT DOES MP MEAN? You have an Irish name but don’t look Irish. You asked about my goofy foot tattoos. Then you left. Sad face. See you next time, maybe. When: March 17, 2011. Where: BCB. #1093-0329

SEXY BLUE-EYED MAN I’m always so happy to see you. You know how I feel, give it a chance, you might be surprised. When: Regularly. Where: Beaches. #1085-0315 JEWELRY GIRL AT ARTWALK Saw you running a small jewelry booth at March Artwalk. You: Short, cute black-frame glasses, brunette, holding a small dog. Me: Green short-billed ball cap, plaid shirt, backpack. See you next Art Walk? When: March 2, 2011. Where: March Art Walk. #1084-0315 CARD SHARK SEEKS QUEEN I see you almost every day as of late, at the single sailor center on base. Although I don’t play pool, we should definitely play spades or dominoes. You: cutest laugh, like to go running with that Army guy. Me: balding on top, cliché Naval mustache, usually go to bowling alley for chili dogs for lunch. When: Feb. 23, 2011. Where: Single Sailor Center. #1083-0308 I LIKE YOUR JACKET Saw your swagger on Adams Street with your big burly jacket and those masculine legs of yours beneath those tattered Abercrombie designed shorts. Your brunette silky hair was blowing in the wind and gave me a smile. Not sure which team you’re batting for. Let’s catch downtown wine together. When: Feb. 2, 2011. Where: Downtown. #1082-0308 YOU GOT A KING PENGUIN TATTOO You were on the stage at the Hyatt Hotel during a tattoo festival being judged on the new king penguin tattoo you had done on your side, such a different yet sweet idea. Me: Emo chick, blue hair, huge donkey, I saw you looking! I was your biggest cheerleader in

the crowd hoping you would win so I could have an excuse to come talk to you and of course get a closer look. You should know that penguins have the same mate their whole lives, hit me up so I can add a couple eggs around those webbed feet! When: Jan. 29, 2011. Where: Hyatt Downtown. #1081-0308 KIDS TEMP, STARBUCKS RIVERSIDE I was at Starbucks Riverside with my mom. We laughed about the barista’s lack of concern for publicly preserving your tough, manly image. No need to be shy about your preference for lukewarm coffee. I have a feeling that preference doesn’t translate into the other facets of your life. p.s. Cute Ray Bans. When: Feb. 25, 2011. Where: Starbucks Riverside. #1080-0308 ORTEGA RIVER RUN RACE PACKET While walking toward St. Mark’s Episcopal Day School, you asked me where to pick up your Ortega River Run packet. I showed you, and when you had it you found me and thanked me. Me: Black shorts, ‘10 Gate River Run shirt, talking with friend. You: Long brown hair, black shorts. I wish you hadn’t run away so quickly — would love to train with you sometime. When: Feb. 26, 2011. Where: Ortega River Run. #1079-0308 LATE FOR CLASS We never really talked the first half of the semester, but you were always on my wavelength. Class never really started until we arrived. Now that I know you live down the street, I’m hoping you’ll stop by and bring your High Lifes and PBRs. Because I can tell that we are gonna be friends. When: Fall 2010. Where: FSCJ Kent Campus. #1076-0222

EXCITEDLY SEEKING HOT FILIPINO You were a hot enthusiastic Filipino; a total flirt. It was Feb. 9. I think you understand why I can’t say exactly how we met, but I was the super sexy redhead w/ the great personality. We talked about Hawaii and your hand. I want to know if you were serious about us going out! When: Feb. 9, 2011. Where: Cambridge Medical Institute. #1090-0322

TEXTING MOCHA GODDESS AT COMETRY You: Butter-pecan tan beauty in black top, fitted jeans with wide cuff and heels. Me: Chocolate hunk in white/yellow/green striped shirt, tan pants wearing glasses sitting at next table. I noticed you all night, but mind was too cloudy to approach because bartender made a great drink. I am sober minded now — I would love to converse. When: March 15, 2011. Where: Square One. #1092-0322 BLUE-EYES KISSIMMEE CUTIE You ate truffles until your tummy bothered you; then managed to balance jackand-coke in one hand, an iPhone in the other, and your unfashionable-yet-environmentally-conscious shoes on the 7th floor balcony railing; and followed that by getting a brutal headache from drinking too fast a too-frozen foo-foo drink concoction on the bow of a boat. What’s not to love? When: March 4, 2011. Where: Kissimmee/Jacksonville. #1086-0315

NINJA SEEKS ANGRY WOMAN I saw you at the garage across from the Modis building. I know you were upset because I accidentally jumped-kicked a guy into your car, but to be fair, you did slap me so hard I’m still feeling it today. Listen, I got your car fixed and I just can’t stop thinking about you. Meet me at Coggin Collision. When: Feb. 1, 2011. Where: Top of parking garage downtown. #1073-0215 RED HAIRED FEMEEFETALE Watched you as you walk into your hotel, been catching secret glimpses of you while working we work our shifts. You-beautiful long red hair, slender tight body with a booty, amazing smile. Wish you would appear on my hospital floor to say hi. you can have my heart, your so amazing. Me-dorky hospital care worker. in the Transplant unit. Mayo Clinic. Big white pickup truck. When: Jan. 26, 2011. Where: Marriot Courtyard @ Mayo Clinic. #1072-0208

PIGEON-TOED QUEEN You had on a black dress with black heels. You were at Square One with your girl who has the same first name as you. We danced, we kissed. It felt like the best night of my life. You mentioned that you are pigeon-toed … we laughed. I lost your number. When: Jan. 24, 2011. Where: Square One. #1070-0208

HOTTIE ON HARLEY You were checking out my pollencovered black car and flirting? with me and my grandson in his car seat of course. You: man. Me: woman. When: Feb. 24, 2011. Where: Southside Blvd. #1089-0322

HARLEY GUY AT RICH’S BARBEQUE I see you a few times a month at Rich’s Barbeque between noon and 1 pm. You are dark-headed with greying hair, usually wear black jacket or black Harley shirt, you drive black Ford, eat from salad bar. I love your eyes but they look sad. I am petite crazy blonde, drive a red Chevy. Let’s have lunch. When: March 5, 2011. Where: Rich’s Barbeque, North Main Street. #1087-0322

I SAW YOU AT CRUISERS You were sitting with a group of ladies. Your brown sweater and glasses magnifi ed your beautiful blue eyes. Your smile and laugh were contagious even from across the room. Let’s get together and share another order of French fries. #1074-0215

TALL SVELTE BLONDE RIVERSIDE SNOW HUNNY 3,300 feet high on a mountain in a Patagonia snowsuit with two layers of North Face gloves and you still looked hot. I thought cabin fever was a bad thing until seeing you bathe in the kitchen. You were perfect; but I’m sorry for the frozen lock, rustic staircase, chick coffee, and the TSA confiscating your moonshine. Let me make it up to you by taking you from the top of the mountains to the depths of the sea. When: Jan. 19, 2011. Where: Riverside/Gatlinburg. #1071-0208

I’LL LET YOU DO DINNER HUMOR We sat across the same table at a networking meeting. You, tall dark & handsome. Me, trying to catch your attention. I tried to make you laugh and in your deadpan ways you told me you’ll do the humor. I know I’ll win you over. Care to share business cards? When: Feb. 28, 2011. Where: San Jose Country Club. #1091-0322

BABY GOT SAUCE Our friends kind of hung out upstairs during the G. Love show. We ended up having our picture taken together by a stranger but I left without finding out your last name. I had a blast. Maybe we can catch another show. When: March 10, 2011. Where: Freebird Live. #1088-0322

MAWGWII MADNESS ON SOUTHSIDE You: go by ‘Gizmo,’ breathtaking blue eyes, enigmatic smile, my heart in your hands. Me: 5 ft., dubbed your ‘Starshine.’ I am just as in love with you as I was three years ago and will always be yours. I hope one day you forgive me. Will you join me for conversation over coffee? When: Feb. 10, 2011. Where: Southside. #1075-0222

BLUE HEELS ON BROADWAY Saw u at Broadway Deli across from St. Lukes. YOU: brunette, white striped shirt, blue skirt, striking blue heels. ME: white shirt, gray slacks. Couldn’t take my eyes off you. Saw you grab a Folio Weekly, thought I’d take a chance. When: Lunchtime, Feb. 1, 2011. Where: Broadway Deli. #1069-0208 To place your free I Saw U love connection, go to folioweekly.com/isawu.php fax 904.260.9773 or snail mail ATTN: I Saw U Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256

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FreeWill Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): When he was three years old, actor Charlie Sheen got a hernia from yelling too much and too loud. I definitely don’t encourage you to be like him. However, I do think it’s an excellent time to tune in to extravagant emotions that first appeared when you were very young, which have continued to be a source of light and heat ever since. Maybe righteous anger is one of those vitalizing emotions, but there must be others, too: crazy longing, ferocious joy, insatiable curiosity, primal laughter. Get in touch with them; invite them to make an appearance and reveal the specific magic they have to give. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The hydrochloric acid in our digestive system is so corrosive, it can dissolve a nail. In other words, you have in you the power to dematerialize solid metal. Why is it so hard, then, for you to conceive of the possibility that you can vaporize a painful memory, bad habit or fearful fantasy? You can do just that, especially now, when your capacity for creative destruction is at a peak. Try this meditation: Imagine the memory, habit or fantasy you want to kill is a nail. Then picture yourself dropping the nail into a vat of hydrochloric acid. Revisit this vision daily and watch the nail slowly dissolve. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Now and then I put comments in my horoscopes that may be construed as political in nature. For instance, I’ve always endorsed a particular candidate in the American presidential elections. Some are outraged by this, saying, in effect, “How dare you?! What do your political opinions have to do with my life?!” If you feel that way, you may want to stop reading now. It’s my sacred duty to say the twists and turns of political and social issues make an increasingly strong impact on your personal destiny in the months ahead. To be of service to you, I’ll factor them into my meditations on your oracles. Is it possible your compulsive discontent about certain political issues is inhibiting your capacity for personal happiness? CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you were a poker player, the odds would now be far better than usual you’d be voted one of the “50 Sexiest Poker Players in the World.” If you were a physician volunteering in Haiti or Sudan, there’d be an unusually high likelihood you’d soon be the focus of a TV news show’s feature story. Even if you were just a pet groomer, life coach or yoga teacher, I bet your cachet would be rising. Why? According to my omenreading, Cancerians are about to be noticed, seen for who you are or appreciated a lot more than usual. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): No other country on the planet has a greater concentration of artistic masterpieces than Italy. The place with the most natural wonders and inspiring scenery per square mile? That’s more subjective, but I’d say Hawaii. Judging from astrological omens, visit one or both of those two hotspots — or the closest equivalents you can manage. (If you already live in Italy or Hawaii, you don’t have far to go.) Be massively exposed to huge doses of staggering beauty. And I really do mean that you NEED this experience — for your mental, physical and spiritual well-being. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Healer Caroline Myss coined the term “woundology,” referring to the practice of using our wounds to get power, sympathy and attention. Why give up our pain when we can wield it to manipulate others emotionally? “I am suffering, so you should give me what I want.” When we’re in pain, we may feel we have the right to do things we wouldn’t otherwise let ourselves do, like go on shopping sprees, eat tasty junk food or sleep with attractive people who are no 48 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 5-11, 2011

good for us. In this scenario, pain serves us. It’s an ally. Your assignment? Get in touch with your version of woundology. It’s a good time to divest yourself of socalled “advantages” of holding on to suffering. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): As an American who’s lived most of my life in the U.S., I write horoscopes in English. But for years, they’ve been translated into Italian for the zesty Italian magazine Internazionale. Over the years, my readership there has grown so sizable, an Italian publisher approached me to create an astrology book for Italians. Late last year, Robosocopo appeared only in Italy. It was an odd feeling to have my fourth book rendered in the Italian language but not in my native tongue. I suspect you’ll be having a comparable experience soon. You’ll function just fine in a foreign sphere — having meaningful experiences and maybe even some success “in translation.” SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You can gain more power — not to mention charisma, panache and love — by losing some of your cool. It’s one time when too much self-control may actually undermine your authority. Indulge in a bit of healthy self-undoing, gently mock your self-importance and shake free of self-images you’re pathologically attached to. Fool with your own hard and fast rules in ways to purge excess dignity and restore at least some of brilliant, beautiful innocence. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This week is a time when you may want to find a toy you loved when you were a kid and actually play with it again; when you may speak so articulately about an idea you’re passionate about, you’ll change the mind of someone wioth a different belief; a time when you may go off on an adventure you feared you’d regret but turns out you don’t; a time when you may pick out and name a group of stars in the sky forming the shape of a symbol important to you and a time when you could make love with such utter abandon, your mutual pleasure stays with you both for days. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Norwegian film “Twigson” is about a boy who feels so friendless and isolated, he seeks companionship with a talking twig. In the weeks ahead, be as proactive in addressing the strains of your loneliness. I’m not saying you’re lonelier or will be lonelier than the rest of us; it’s just an excellent time for taking aggressive action to soothe the ache. So reach out and be humbly confident as you make deeper contact. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): During one of 2010’s Mercury retrograde phases, astrologer Evelyn Roberts wrote on her Facebook page that she was doing lots of things you’re “not supposed to do” during a Mercury retrograde: buying a new computer, planning trips, making contracts, signing documents. Why? She said she always rebels like that, maybe because of her quirky Aquarian nature. More importantly, she rebels because what usually works best for her is to pay close attention to what’s really going on rather than getting lost in fearful fantasies about any influence a planet may or may not have. During current Mercury retrograde, try her approach. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Damon Bruce is a San Francisco sports talk show host I listen to now and then. He told about being at a bar and seeing a guy with a tattoo of a life-sized dollar bill on the back of his shaved head. Bruce was incredulous. Why burn an image of the lowest-denomination bill into your flesh? If you’re going to all that pain and trouble, shouldn’t you inscribe a more ambitious icon, like a $100 bill? My sentiments exactly. Apply this to your life. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

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April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 49

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

Florida’s Finest Jeweler SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

SOUTHSIDE

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 394-1390

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

Infomercially Yours

95 96 97 ACROSS 98 Cine or cyclo ending Final farewell of a sort 100 Stage-door Johnny? 102 106 War fare? * 108 “___ your side” 112 Patna princesses Venetian arch feature 113 117 Famed Memphis street Term for each of the 15 asterisked theme answers in this puzzle 123 Butz and Scruggs 124 Magnetite, e.g. 125 Deli fave 126 Auth. who died in 127 Samoa 2004 Tea Leoni film * 131 “Great!” * 132 “Ask ___ ...” 133 Slice of ice 134 August hrs., in Augusta Its rules are “sketchy” * 135 Premiere 136 Astrologer Sydney 137 “Not guilty,” e.g. Continuing story line 138 Foul-smelling

1 5 9 13 17 18 20 21 22 25 26 27 28 29 31 34 35 36

37 44 48 50 51 54 56 Client-sponsored article * 60 A steady increase in prices and unemployment * 63 Drop like a roc? 64 A crowd, in Cremona? 65 Of punishment 66 1950s toothpaste brand 68 Street activity: abbr. 70 Radio-and-TV event * 73 Video buy * 78 High-quality salad topping, in Rachael Ray shorthand 79 Silent movie star? 81 Foursome for a Ford 83 One of three zanies 86 Secret 89 Middle-of-the-road type? * 92 Sesame Street, e.g. * 1

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 19 21 23 24 5

DOWN Way-overpriced item Ethically neutral Versatile Rita Lizard’s snack Toothbrush brand It includes Zulu QB’s worry: abbr. Steering-system part It precedes Jones Some bruise easily Cop’s collar Dogmatic one Close tightly ___-mutuel betting “___ well that ...” Fit together Greeting, to Guido (anagram of L.A.’S OUT) “I ___ differ” Wharton prize Liner letters 6

8 19

132

135

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50 | folio weekly | April 5-11, 2011

O S H A N O T A U N D O

O N E A L S

P L A N T

E N D E D SO MA N A U I N A DD L R E MA R R T A I NDR DOE M G L A E E P R I S

WE A V D E I N

B E R G

E N I A C

M Y A G E

S A C R A

A K I T A

T E R R I

A R E I N

I N S O

A D E N

S S T S

59 64

68 74

76 81 90

96 100

101 108 109 110 111

113

114 115 116

123

124

128

129 133

125 130 134

137

106 107

121 122 127

112

131

A N D T E A I L RMA GN L L E GA A D

P O L L O I

126

L I P S

A S E C E N Y S A Y R E E C L U T D E E N

103 104 105

117 118 119 120

R O N I

129 130

73 79 87

121 122 128

102

78 85

A N T E

66 71

114 115 116 117 118 119 120

110 111 113

M U S K

I N E I N F D E R T OR A DOGA BO SOS N L S S CO T OUGH A N A OSO E L A L I S T A ND A K I S E M I M I R EM R E N A D A P T A T I N E H I E T N AME D MA T S L E E T H A T E R E D I AGR AM A L S SWO T L E VO L E S S P L E

107 109

Hog heaven, perhaps Car make, for short Harem room Peseta replacer Pianist Gilels Actor Santoni Ovine sound CD preceders Middle of a game Sarnoff’s startup, 1926 Knock off-track Keypad key Helpful Popular juice drink Beings from Mork’s planet Charted Cab Calloway catchphrase Here ___ Obtained Org. that used to closely monitor Howard Stern Coat material? Arm bones Milk lover Spinning toys Word on a coin Seized vehicle How bishops move: abbr. Grandson of Adam Abbr. on a cereal box Sue Grafton’s “___ for Innocent” Hugs, in letters Flavor enhancer

I C MU SO AM DO

L I E D E OR C C E UG RG O A N D V I I N L T O I N S E A R Y

H O C H I

M O V E

T R E A D

E V I L

82 83 84 85 87 88 90 91 93 94 99 101 103 104 105

Solution to “Seeing the Country” H A G S

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 388-5406

30 “___ said!” (mom’s warning) 32 Turner of TV channels 33 Manners maven Baldrige 37 Launch site 38 The car repair shop in 134 Across 39 Craft staff 40 Clear Channel alternative 41 Landed 42 Aft area 43 Clinton’s alma mater 45 Noxious vapors 46 ___ canto 47 Acting teacher Hagen 49 Herbie of jazz 51 Nile viper 52 Blvds., e.g. 53 “How ___ help?” 55 Party platter items 57 Part of Colin Powell’s coll. experience 58 Riding-mower brand 59 Creator of eye-bending designs 61 Willing to try it 62 Sacred promise 67 Land unit 69 Bank-window abbr. 71 Actress Anderson 72 Loc. of 43 Down 74 iPad software 75 Hop on a horse 76 Goes astray 77 Cut the crop 80 Commedia dell’___

Loses it Bug someone, e.g. ___ avis Asleep, perhaps One of the senses Lover of Godiva * Aussie avian ___ carpet Cone-bearer Starbucks offering * Cajun dish involving three types of poultry (and pretty high on the list of “worst food names ever”) * Lid for a lad In the style of Banned spray “___ the loneliest ...” That letdown feeling after all the hype * Cocoon contents “___ lay me down ...” Mrs. Helmsley Bird-filled comic strip created by Jeff MacNelly EPA concern * Bygone flyers They’re often connected Opening outfit

AVENUES MALL

138

Life Sentences

A terminal diagnosis offers grim finality — with benefits

don’t like baseball. Never played it, never watched it. It just didn’t appeal to me. But in the past six months, I’ve come to know one of its greatest players — Lou Gehrig — quite well. Though the baseball great is long gone, we share an ugly bond — a disease called amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, ALS for short, an incurable and fatal disease that informally bears his name. I’ve always been a healthy person and thought I would live a reasonably long life, say 80 years or so, long enough to see my only granddaughter graduate college, launch an extraordinary career, perhaps attend her wedding one day. Now I have learned I will be lucky to see her complete grammar school in a few years. Those wonderful dreams of retirement are gone, too; my husband and I are hurrying to complete my tiny bucket list while I still have some quality of life left. ALS is an insidious disease. It attacks the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, which control voluntary muscles, the ones that allow us to eat, speak, walk, lift, pinch, grasp and breathe. It’s a gradual but quick process, often starting in a hand or leg and then usually progressing to speech and swallowing, culminating in death by respiratory failure usually within two to five years after diagnosis. Thankfully — or is it hatefully? — the mind is seldom affected, so you are vitally aware that your body is failing piece by piece. And because no two persons with ALS are exactly the same, no one can tell you what will go next. For example, some people start with bulbar onset (muscles that control eating and speaking); others present initially with limb symptoms. Despite my regrets at not having a shot at a longer life, I am curiously OK with the diagnosis. I turned 63 last week and realized I have led a full and satisfying life; I have pretty much done all the important things I set out to do. I mean, we all have to die of something, and knowing of what and about when is somewhat comforting; it kind of takes the fear and mystery out of the downhill portion of life. It allows you to quit putting off all those myriad things you planned to do “someday” — leaving behind your family history, gathering those thousands of family photos into a neat package for your loved ones, getting back in touch with friends you have known and admired through the years and telling them how much they have meant to you. It allows you the luxury of taking slow walks through the park, knowing next year you may not be able to walk at all, to leave behind recordings of your voice, in case you can no longer speak; to buy and sign birthday cards for your family for the next 10 years and leave them in a lovely box for them to open long after you’re gone. The irony of the disease has fed my

constant sense of humor, which in turn has allowed me to present a positive, mostly happy face to my world. I’m a fast touch-typist and a right-handed writer, so my right hand went first, fast being followed by my right arm. I’m an avid gardener, and it’s slowly taking my right leg; a brace and cane help, but I fall down a lot in the yard. Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! — just kidding. I’m perfecting my next career as a contortionist. In January 2010, I was in bitterly cold Chicago for four months. The fingers on my right hand kept locking in weird positions; I thought it was hysterical, blamed it on the cold and thought nothing of it when I returned here in April. Then I kept dropping glasses on the floor; the sneaky guys just seemed to slip through my hand. By early summer, my right hand cramped whenever I used the mouse for my computer. Because I hold a doctorate in Internet medicine, I promptly called my doctor and told him I had carpal tunnel syndrome. “Nope,” he said. “Let’s do some tests!” Four weeks and fourscore tests later, the neurologist he had handed me off to said, for the fourth time, “presents like ALS.” Me: “What’s that?” Him: “Lou Gehrig’s Disease.” Me: “What’s that?” Him: “Motor neuron diseaase.” Me: “Uh, oh, this guy’s been smoking crack.” Him: “Need to get a second opinion.” Me: “You’re darn tootin’.” OK, so it wasn’t that funny. I had covered health care as a reporter for many years and I knew exactly what ALS was, but I was stunned. This is a rare disease: Worldwide, about five out of every 100,000 people are affected and 5 to 10 percent of those cases are hereditary. ALS usually rears its ugly head at about age 50; the mean age of onset is 60 to 62, but there have been far younger and older people affected. Curiously, those who have served in the military have an increased risk of 50 to 60 percent over the regular population. No one knows why, although exposure to toxins appears to play a role. With such odds, I was tempted to go out and buy a dozen or so lottery tickets. At first, we cried and I assumed the fetal position for a few days. Then I made a huge decision. I might be on the dying fast track, but until then, I was going to LIVE. After investigating both Mayo and Shands Jacksonville NeuroScience Institute for my second opinion, I chose Shands. When I phoned, they returned my call the same day and answered my numerous questions about their ALS clinic. They seemed to care. When I met kind Dr. Michael Pulley for my second opinion, I knew I had made the right decision. Imagine: a doctor who cared if he hurt me when he re-ran those famous Chinese needle torture tests. A doctor who took an enormous amount of his time to answer even more questions, despite the fact he was late for

a seminar. And he gave me a little hope: “Not yet convinced,” he said. More tests. There are more than 30 motor neuron diseases that mimic ALS and they all have to be ruled out, through blood tests, head and brain MRIs, EMGs and so on down the alphabet soup line. Unfortunately, it was ALS. Still, I felt lucky; some people wait years for a diagnosis; that would have been torture to me. By this time, I had closed my genealogy research company, the love of my life since retiring from journalism a few years earlier. By now I could barely write legibly and I could no longer pick up those huge old court books. Even using microfilm was difficult; the right hand was on full strike, demanding added benefits that just weren’t coming. Sorry, right hand, the system is broke. The next step was to tell my friends. That was a relief. I had been hiding my atrophied

hope my family was taking notes.) I did a stint as editor of Folio Weekly, and then retired again briefly after the deaths of my eldest daughter and granddaughter. I returned to journalism in 2001 as managing editor of the Jacksonville Business Journal. I like to sum up my life in the words of the great Jimmy Buffett: “Some of it’s magic, some of it’s tragic, but I had a good life all the way.” I used to tell my students that when writing, they needed to answer the question, “Why am I writing this story?” Here’s my answer to all of you. The saying, “Live each day as if it were your last” is not trite; life often holds other plans for you, some of which you could not ever dream up. Savor each day, take risks if it means following your dreams; if we had not gone sailing years ago, it never would have happened, given what life has reserved for me. Do smell the roses, do love your family

We all have to die of something, and knowing of what and about when is somewhat comforting. It kind of takes the fear and mystery out of the downhill portion of life. hand and fasciculating arms for some time. Fasciculations are visible muscle twitches under the skin. They kind of look like live worms struggling to get out. Hey, they even feel like worms, sometimes. That began a round of lunch dates that would make a Congressman proud. Since I already had some mild bulbar symptoms (those that affect speech and swallowing), I decided eating great meals would be in order, so that I could fondly remember them after I had to succumb to a feeding tube. That hasn’t happened yet, but my lip and cheek muscles are weak, and I’m in great demand for lunch and dinner parties as I dribble food and liquid or spit water across the table. Ah, to be the life of the party. But life goes on and despite my increasingly annoying limbs and mouth, I think often of the life I have lived and less of what awaits me. I began college at the ripe old age of 34 and graduated when I was a grandmother four years later. With few jobs available in journalism at that time, this old lady landed a job upon graduation, at the Jacksonville Business Journal. That began my life as a business writer. A year or so later, I joined the business staff of The Florida Times-Union. The day after graduation, I married the boy next door and we celebrate 25 years in May. After seven years in the newspaper world, my husband, John, and I followed our dream and went cruising on the 40-foot sailboat we had lived on for five years. That launched my freelance writing career. When we returned, I taught adjunct at the University of North Florida, wrote four nonfiction books and started a magazine called Florida Caregiver and the Options Guide to Eldercare. (I sure

and friends and tell them how much, often. Oh, and one other thing. I had hoped to write this before the Jacksonville ALS walk on April 2, but I was too busy with a huge item on my bucket list. My request was a small one: Join me in the walk, and donate if you can so that a cure becomes a possibility someday for someone you know or love. It’s too late for you to walk (hopefully I did my two miles, even if I had to cheat and hop on my scooter). But it’s not too late to donate to finding the cause and the cure. Visit my website at the ALS walk page: http://web.alsa.org/site/ TR?px=2921019&fr_id=7144&pg=personal Anne M. Johnson

Anne Johnson is a longtime Jacksonville journalist, having worked stints as a staffer at The Florida Times-Union, editor of Folio Weekly and managing editor of the Jacksonville Business Journal.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly.com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly. April 5-11, 2011 | folio weekly | 51

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