1.18.11 by Folio Weekly

Northeast Florida’s News & Opinion Magazine • January 18-24, 2011 • NSFW

Yo La Tengo brings its wacky wheel of fortune to Freebird Live. Plus NOFX and Tokyo Police Club. The music coverage starts on p. 26

FREE

Stetson Kennedy reports on the first black property owner in Rosewood, Fla., since the racist massacre of 1923. p. 47

2 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

Inside

Volume 24 Number 42

22 37

EDITOR’S NOTE p. 4 MAIL Gays and discrimination; Ponte Vedra and ticket prices; liberals and white zin. p. 5 NEWS How mayoral candidate Rick Mullaney got one of the richest pensions in city history. p. 7 Café Eleven’s original owner hopes to pump new life into the once-amazing venue. p. 11 Pending retirements of black firefighters threaten to extinguish racial equity in the JFRD. p. 12 BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS Crape mass murder, suspicious bagels and solutions to Riverside Park’s duck poop problem. p. 7 FEATURE STORY The Sleep of Reason: Hal Crowther on Midterm Madness 2010. p. 13

OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 21 MOVIES Reviews of “Country Strong” and “Season of the Witch.” p. 22 MUSIC Yo La Tengo, NOFX and Tokyo Police Club. p. 26 ARTS The Capitol Steps are equal-opportunity offenders. p. 34 BACKPAGE Stetson Kennedy reports on the resurgence of Rosewood. p. 47 I ♥ TELEVISION 17 HAPPENINGS 36 DINING 37 NEWS OF THE WEIRD 42 I SAW U 43 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY 44 CLASSIFIEDS 45

SPORTS MLB can’t escape the Hall of Fame blame game. p. 18

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 3

Second Thoughts T

here was plenty of opportunity for reflection last week, and plenty of calls for civility. FOX News anchors were instructed by company President Roger Ailes to “shut up, tone it down, make your argument intellectually” (this from the man who recently dubbed NPR “Nazis”). There were calls from right, left and center to “restore civility” and “end toxic rhetoric,” and even some political attempts to replace partisanship with comity (http://n.pr/eFuMvI). Not necessarily bad advice, though likely squandered on those who need it most. The Sarah Palins of the world aren’t about to be scolded into putting the gloves back on, as she made clear in her eight-minute “blood libel” speech. As for the right-wing punditry, if they could make their arguments intellectually, they wouldn’t be in talk radio — or nearly as successful. To be fair, softening the tone of public dialogue isn’t as easy as it sounds. We’ve become a nation of unapologists — people for whom angry rants and turf battles aren’t the means but the dispiriting end. Much as texting has shaped the way teenagers “date,” and reality TV has shaped the way criminals elude police, angry rhetoric has shaped the political and media landscape. It’s no longer recognizable, and impossible to reclaim. But words seem like an awfully soft target, especially in a battle that involves real guns, and ammo clips that carry 33 rounds. Whether the spark for Jared Loughner’s shooting spree was political vitriol, as is fashionable to suggest, or video games (last year’s excuse), or being bullied (1999), Hollywood (circa “Natural Born Killers”), or heavy metal music (1985), the vehicle is the same, holstered at the ready. Guns may not kill people, but they are dang effective tools in the hands of mentally ill criminals. The N.R.A. took a step back from the issue last week, refraining from comment until the Tucson memorials concluded, posting only a short web statement offering “thoughts and prayers” for the victims. But if the N.R.A. has kept quiet, the somewhat less-savvy Gun Owners of America is spoiling for a fight. “Why should the government be in the business of telling us how we can defend ourselves?” a GOA spokesperson asked a reporter from The New York Times. “These politicians need to remember that these rights aren’t given to us by them. They come from God. They are God-given rights.” Really? God gives us the right to own guns? Does He also issue concealed carry permits, one wonders, or has He found some earthly factotum to handle that task? Second Amendment absolutists like to argue that limitless gun ownership deters criminals, or at least gives potential victims a fighting chance. Yet Arizona is home to the most liberal gun laws in America — just

about anyone over 18 who doesn’t have a felony conviction or an adjudicated mental illness can buy, carry and conceal a weapon. About a dozen residents openly carried guns to a speech by President Obama in Phoenix last August, including one man with an assault rifle slung over his shoulder. But when

Words seem like an awfully soft target, especially in a battle that involves real guns, and ammo clips that carry 33 rounds.

4 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

Jared Loughner started shooting on Jan. 8, there was no return fire. The only reason he was brought down was the courageous and swift response of four unarmed citizens with an average age of 55, who tackled and held him until police arrived. The Second Amendment isn’t easy to parse, and doesn’t yield itself readily to understanding, even among Constitutional scholars. “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” The meaning, muddled by the introductory clause, and lacking any linguistic connective tissue that might provide clarity, is more than just a bear to diagram. It’s an impediment to progress on gun safety. Lenient gun laws have done little to tamp down shooting rampages. In fact, most of the nation’s recent high-profile bloodbaths, including, Virginia Tech and Fort Hood, have been carried out with legally obtained weapons. And certainly Jacksonville — the murder capital of Florida and home to a gun shop that’s among the top 10 in the nation when it comes to tracing weapons used in crimes (http://wapo.st/eeaxBW) — is an object lesson in the societal dysfunction that guns cause. Words may get folks riled, but they aren’t the enemy. Sticks and stones — or, in this case, a Glock-19 — do a helluva lot more damage. Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com

We Dis This City

In general, I do not find the political comic “The City” to be worth much in its commentary on American life. This last week’s publication, however, stepped over the boundaries of decency (“True Story,” Jan. 4). Making fun of the unsheltered mentally ill (mental illness is implied by the cotton popping out of this individual’s ears, since people struggling with schizophrenia frequently attempt to plug their ears to keep voices out) is an act of deriding those in American society who are already the most disenfranchised demographic in our culture. This seems to go directly against the mission of Folio Weekly, which I believe tries to give voice to those without a voice in our society. I have worked with the homeless here in Jacksonville for four years, and have witnessed the social stigma and isolation that the unsheltered mentally ill live with. They are feared because they are not understood. Folio Weekly should strive to nurture understanding of our most vulnerable populations rather than allow strips like this to go to print. Patrick Finn-Schultz Jacksonville via email

I was rushing through the last pages of this week’s Folio Weekly when I was captured by the simplicity of the Derf single panel cartoon

It gave me and many others great pleasure to know that both Derf and Folio Drum Circle Weekly have been greatly discomfited by political events. portraying Tea-Partiers as Baby New Year 2011 (“The City,” Dec. 28). Normally, I give a pass to the Derf ’s artistic endeavors and political commentary. But I stopped this time to peruse it and was thoroughly amused at his take on the signal political event of 2010. It gave me and many others great pleasure to know that both Derf and Folio Drum Circle Weekly have been greatly discomfited by said political events. Thanks to Derf for a big cup of political schadenfreude. Tom Altee San Marco via email

High & Dry

As a former resident of Ponte Vedra and a current resident of St. Augustine, I applaud St. Johns County’s effort to bring an entertainment venue to the north beaches area (Music, Jan. 4, 2011). It is long overdue, and the new center looks like a great venue. Unfortunately, there is also a downside not mentioned in your article. The cost of the shows will rule out most county residents living outside of Ponte Vedra from attending. Posted ticket prices for the initial lineup are unrealistic for the caliber of artists being presented and in light of the current economy. Perhaps those in Ponte Vedra have not yet felt the impact. I wish

them luck in selling out the B-52s at $59.50, Travis Tritt at $50-$80 and Arturo Sandoval at $45. These are the basic ticket costs and do not include the add-on by Ticketmaster. If they sell out the B-52s, they will earn $47,250 for the night. That is calculated on the $59.50 ticket price multiplied by the capacity of 900 standing-room customers. How much are they paying the band for the evening? Anything above $15,000 is highway robbery for a band that is 15 years past their prime. Is this venue intended as a profit center for the county? While I’d love to make the trek up to Ponte Vedra, I don’t think it will be happening soon, at least until they can get their ticket prices under control. Especially when Café Eleven, Freebird Live, Jack Rabbits, The Florida Theatre and Mojo Kitchen are offering as good if not better entertainment at far more reasonable prices. Ralph Collinson St. Augustine via email

Upright Citizens Brigade

Dear Mr. William Jackson, regarding your “Reason for Hope” contribution (Backpage Editorial, Jan. 4): I am standing in applause. Goose Anderson Via email

Panty Raid

Look … I’m not going to see the Lingerie Football League’s playoffs. College kids may go, rednecks might go and just general ordinary men might go. I won’t. That doesn’t mean I am going to bash those that will. If AG Gancarski wants to bash the event, then that is his decision, but don’t get overzealous in attacking a harmless event that really is just about business. In his commentary about it (“Scantily Bad,” Sportstalk, Jan. 4), he decided to say that the promoters of the event moved their playoffs here to Jacksonville because the “Bold New City of the South” has more strip clubs than libraries and bookstores combined and is of a base and sexist composition. Don’t bad-mouth my city just because you’ve let your liberal smugness get out of control. OK, we get it, you’re politically correct and want to distance yourself from the perceived “mouth-breathers” that make up our city, YOUR city. Strip clubs will always outnumber bookstores and libraries. That comparison is one-sided and stupid. That’s like saying that this city is dependent on alcohol because there are more bars and liquor stores than there are libraries, bookstores, ice cream stores and lollipop shops combined. Oh, wait ... it’s not popular to attack alcohol because even liberals need somewhere to get their white zin to inspire their sauced-up book club meetings. I don’t care if you print this criticism. I don’t expect you to. I have always read Folio Weekly, and will always read it. I’ve been in Folio Weekly (News, Nov. 27, 2007) and think it is a great publication. If you want to attack humans for being base dirty creatures, I am all for it, because it’s true, myself included. Just don’t act like the problem is only in Jacksonville.

Brandon Miyanaga Jacksonville via email

King Crock

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www.ConnectMeClinicalTrial.com 904-280-3552 George M. Joseph MD, PA 1579 The Greens Way Suite 18 Jacksonville Beach, FL 32250

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NewsBuzz

What A Sight This billboard view was brought to you by the fine folks at Clear Channel Outdoor. (Spring Park Road, south of interchange at University Boulevard and I-95.)

Exhibit A Folio Weekly’s recent cover story on Foursquare “mayors” (bit.ly/fpCXij) became the centerpiece of a trademark infringement claim last week. Entertainment Publications, a Troy, Mich., company that specializes in bulk coupon books, alleges that the location-based social media app Foursquare stole the crown it uses in its logo. Folio Weekly’s cover image was attached to the Jan. 11 letter as an example of “infringing uses” which asked that Foursquare “immediately and permanently” stop using the crown in any marketing or materials. No word yet on whether Foursquare is inclined to comply.

Suspicious Minds A bagel with cream cheese, a hat and a wallet. — What Massachusetts police found in the carry-on of UNF math professor Ognjen Milatovic, 35, after his behavior attracted the attention of fellow flyers on a US Airways flight last week. According to police, some passengers reported hearing strange noises coming from the bag.

Rail Clear Politics “We need to know if we are on track or off track. … The train has left the station.” — St. Augustine City Manager John Regan, expressing frustration over lack of info coming from the First America Foundation, a private nonprofit hired by the city to manage its 450th birthday celebration. As reported by Folio Weekly (News, Aug. 17, 2010, bit.ly/ eUMVDh), the city farmed out the work so that party planning wouldn’t be hampered by observing the state Sunshine Law. The group has already received $275,000 in city money.

Life Imitates Reality TV

ick Mullaney’s pension has been in the news a lot lately. In part, that’s because his pension is huge — a healthy $152,737 a year for life. In part, it’s because Mullaney the Mayoral Candidate has tried to disavow a municipal pension system so insolvent that it threatens to bankrupt the city. As the city’s former General Counsel heads into the March 2011 primary, his pension threatens to become a campaign issue purely because of the hypocrisy it suggests: a privileged politico whose own sweet setup mocks the economic circumstances of city residents and the pension fund alike. But the pension issue brings to light a dicier piece of political history — one that Mullaney doubtless wishes would remain forgotten. Because Mullaney isn’t just collecting a generous city pension. He is part of a universe of forces responsible for shaping the pension system. Thanks in part to his own involvement — overt activism more than a decade ago, and, more recently, his quiet oversight of the attorneys who rewrote the city’s pension code — the city’s retirement system was reconfigured to yield the maximum benefit for a handful of folks — including Mullaney, to the tune of some $2 million.

ick Mullaney came to work for the city of Jacksonville in 1991, part of an attorney diaspora that trailed newly elected Mayor Ed Austin from the State Attorney’s Office. The crew included current state Rep. Mike Weinstein, Austin successor (and now UNF President) John Delaney, and Deputy General Counsel Steve Rohan, among others. Not long after arriving, some members of group began to examine ways to tie their state service into the city’s pension plan. The city’s pension was more lucrative (with an

accrual rate of 2.5 percent per year of service, compared with the state’s 1.6 percent), and as Austin/Delaney hires — and smart lawyers to boot — they were unlikely to spend the next 30 years working in City Hall, maximizing their pension payout. So a remedy was proposed: The lawyers could connect the years they’d worked with the State Attorney’s Office to their years with the city, transforming their relatively slim city work history into a truly lucrative retirement package. Legislation was required to make this happen, of course. The State Attorney’s Office is not a city agency — its name makes that clear — and its employees are not part of the city’s pension fund. So to allow attorneys to

he city’s pension system is governed a Board of Pension Trustees and a Pension Advisory Committee. Both were required to weigh in on 94-1, votes that would inform the ultimate decision by the Jacksonville City Council. Initially, their recommendations were lockstep denials: Both pension groups rejected 94-1, finding it unnecessary and unjustifiable, seemingly crafted to benefit a narrow group. Some members also chafed at the idea of letting people “buy” into a system designed to reward long service. Pension Trustee Wilmer Atwell was particularly skeptical, noting the bill would directly benefit the lawyers who drafted it. “This bill was dreamed up by people looking to benefit from the pension plan,” he

“This bill was dreamed up by people looking to benefit from the pension plan,” Atwell told Folio Weekly in 1998. “This was their baby, made to benefit themselves.” connect their state time to the city’s pension system necessitated changing the law. Fortunately, there was a crew of very capable attorneys on hand to draft an ordinance. Drawn up by Steve Rohan, the proposal created a mechanism by which former state employees could purchase city pension time for the years they’d spent working for the state, buying in at the base employee contribution rate (currently 8 percent). The bill included other agencies, like the Medical Examiner’s Office and the Public Defender’s Office, but nobody missed who the main beneficiaries would be. The ordinance was assigned the very first bill number of the year — 94-1 — and began a strange, circuitous and very deliberate path through the legislative system.

told Folio Weekly in 1998. “This was their baby, made to benefit themselves. It’s a sweet deal for the big-bucks boys.” But the bill refused to die, in large part because then-Assistant General Counsel Mullaney began a spirited campaign to resurrect it. Joined by Rohan, Mullaney made an unusual 30-minute appeal to the Board of Pension Trustees, urging them to reconsider 94-1. His efforts had the desired effect. The board voted again, and this time it passed — narrowly — by a vote of 3-2. One of those voting for the bill was Mike Weinstein, then director of the city’s Administration and Finance Department. Weinstein had abstained from the first vote JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 7

NewsBuzz Life Imitates Reality TV Focus Fitness Training in Jacksonville Beach is looking for a man and a woman to whip into shape for a free fitness program modeled after the NBC reality show “The Biggest Loser.” The club is taking applications through February. Call 509-0484 for more information or go to focusfitnessjax.com

“The White Rowboat, St. Johns River” — This serene watercolor by American master Winslow Homer is one of 60 works in the collection of Arthur and Ninah Cummer, which formed the basis of the Cummer Museum. The museum exhibits it and the other works beginning Jan. 25, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the museum’s opening.

Name Changer The Duval County School Board voted to close James Weldon Johnson Elementary School in December, but an effort is underway to at least keep the name alive. Marsha Phelts, author of “American Beach,” sent out a mass email last week suggesting the downtown arts middle school be renamed “James Weldon Johnson LaVilla School for the Arts.” Johnson was a Jacksonville native, poet and author of the song known as the African-American National Anthem, “Lift Every Voice and Sing.” Folio Weekly suggests another renaming opportunity: Changing Nathan Bedford Forrest School, named for a © High 2011 Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, to James Weldon Johnson High School.

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From Funky to Fresh After years of stagnating with duck poop, the pond at Riverside Park may finally be slated for cleanup. The city of Jacksonville’s Environmental Protection Board voted in favor of spending $100,000 to drain the rank pond, send the water to a sewage treatment plant and haul the sediments to a landfill, while temporarily relocating the pond’s waterfowl. The new system would use pond water, before it grows fetid, to irrigate surrounding property.

on the measure, noting it would benefit him personally. “I’m going to declare a potential conflict [of interest] and not vote on it at all because I could potentially be one of the people affected,” he said in October 1994, adding that he didn’t want to be accused of wearing “silk stockings” — an allusion to criticisms leveled at the bill’s beneficiaries. But Weinstein reversed himself two months later, carrying the narrow 3-2 vote, and making no acknowledgement of his admitted “conflict.” Because 94-1 went to council with conflicting recommendations (a “yes” vote from the advisory committee, and “no” from the trustees), then-Councilmember Eric Smith (who himself stood to benefit from the legislation) asked for clarification. Then-Assistant General

Asked who requested the 2005 pension code rewrite, two trustees responded: “That’s a good question.” Counsel Gary Eckstine, who served as vice chair of the Board of Trustees and who’d voted against the bill, responded with a blunt memo. He noted that the bill “is viewed as an unwarranted benefit for a small group of people,” and called it “the most bitterly contested and divisive pension issue” he could remember. As Eckstine told Folio Weekly in 1998, a few days after sending the memo, he was summoned by Rick Mullaney — his direct supervisor — and asked to explain. “Do you know how much money this is worth to me?” Eckstine recalled Mullaney saying. “It’s worth at least a half-million dollars to me.” According to Eckstine, Mullaney concluded with a threat. “If you’re as smart as I think you are, you will not stand between me and a half-million dollars.” When asked in 1998 about Eckstine’s account of the meeting, Mullaney responded, “That’s not right. That’s not right.” Pressed to elaborate, he added, “That’s not right. It’s wrong of him to even suggest it. It’s not true to suggest that happened.” Mullaney stopped lobbying for the bill when he was appointed Mayor Delaney’s chief of staff in 1996, but 94-1 remained on the council agenda under the “unfinished business” header until 1999 — long after its original sponsor, Councilmember Jim Tullis, called it a “bad bill”

he controversial bill eventually died in late 1999. But the provision to allow former employees of the State Attorney’s Office to connect their state service to the city’s pension did not disappear. In 2004, the city’s Office of General Counsel began a rewrite of the city’s pension code. As it happens, that rewrite included permitting outside state agencies to buy into the city’s pension. According to city officials, that rewrite was requested by the Board of Pension Trustees, though spokesperson Renee Brust says “there probably is no smoking gun document” in which the board requested the rewrite. In fact, two members of the board at that time, Rick Coram and Wilmer Atwell, have only fuzzy memories of the reasons the rewrite was initiated. They do recall that it included the provisions that had proved so controversial in 94-1, but neither remembers who added them. When asked, both responded: “That’s a good question.” According to the legislative fact sheet that accompanied the new code, the rewrite’s goal was mere housekeeping — “deleting inconsistent provisions [of the existing code], clarifying ambiguous provisions,” etc. Socalled housekeeping ordinances aren’t unusual, but this one was, partly because the code had been amended just a few years earlier (bill 2000-624-E), specifically to allow quasi-city agencies, like JEA and JTA, to buy into the city’s pension. And that version made no attempt to include state workers. The new code rewrite did add state workers — but subtly. A summary for bill 2005-423 identified certain “changes,” including “allowing members to purchase outside agency service time … at agencies such as the School Board, JAA, etc.” Interestingly, both of those agencies already were allowed to connect their service, even before the rewrite. (The Jacksonville Aviation Authority was grandfathered in when that agency split from the Port Authority.) The bill summary made no mention of the truly new Steve Rohan, who drafted a 1994 bill that would have benefitted him personally, also suggested changes to the 2005 pension code rewrite before Mullaney asked him to “pull back” from the issue.

Fresh Air

Walter Coker

Just when the Riverside Arts Market goes into hiatus, farmers’ bounty of mustard greens, collards, romaine lettuce, arugula, sweet potatoes and citrus is at its peak. Though RAM is closed until March, the Farmer’s Market (FRAM) is open every Sat. from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. through Feb. 26 under the Fuller Warren Bridge.

8 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

and asked to have it withdrawn. It even stayed on the agenda after then-mayoral spokesperson Susie Wiles (now a Gov. Rick Scott advisor) vowed that Delaney would veto it. The bill’s remarkable staying power was attributed to the influence of those it stood to benefit. According to Tullis, “there has been a lot of pressure behind the scenes by some of the people who stand to benefit from this bill.”

News agencies being added — the State Attorney’s Office and the Public Defender’s Office. Whether or not that was an oversight, it certainly helped keep the bill from grabbing any attention. The pension code rewrite generated not a single news story. It also escaped the notice of most 94-1 watchdogs. Even the pension trustees who (theoretically) approved the revisions were unaware of one of its major provisions, tacked on as a floor amendment by the City Council, which made the buy-in far more affordable. The original version of the rewrite required folks to buy in at “the full actuarial cost” of the pension they were buying — a number significantly higher than the standard contribution rate. But the Finance Committee introduced an amendment that changed that: for the first five years of a buy-in, employees

would pay the standard contribution rate; only if they were buying more than five years would the “full actuarial cost” kick in. That change was suggested by none other than Steve Rohan, who — he is careful to point out — addressed the Finance Committee from the podium, “as an employee,” rather than as Steve Rohan, head of the Legislative Affairs Department of the Office of General Counsel. For Mullaney and Rohan both, that 11th-hour amendment was very helpful. Rohan only had about four years’ worth of state time to connect, and was able to do so at the standard pension contribution rate of 8 percent. For Mullaney, the five-years’ window offered a deep discount. His first five years (at the base contribution rate) cost $119,999; his second five years (based on an actuarial assessment) cost $236,908. Continues on page 10

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Intracoastal Waterway, Vilano Beach, January 12

Bouquets to Executive Director Carlton Higginbotham and the staff and volunteers of the Jacksonville Arboretum in Arlington for continuing to turn a 120-acre urban forest into a local treasure. They recently celebrated the opening of Rosemary Ridge, a mile-long tract that traverses a xeric hammock and has expansive saltmarsh views. The project took arboretum volunteers almost a year to complete and is named for the rosemary that grows on the site. For more info and arboretum hours, go to jacksonvillearboretum.org. Brickbats to St. Augustine City Attorney Ron Brown for advising residents, elected officials and city administrators to ask no questions, attend no meetings and not to attempt to learn anything more about the workings of the company hired to manage the city’s upcoming 450th celebration. Although First America Foundation is sitting on $275,000 in taxpayer money, and likely to get more, the nonprofit group is not subject to the state public records and open meetings laws, and has done little to account for its work so far. When officials and others recently asked the group for more information, Brown advised against probing too deeply. Bouquets to concert pianist and entertainer Rich Ridenour, who helped put together, push forward and find sponsors for the downtown Jacksonville art installation, “Jacksonville Loves a Piano.” The City Keys Project has placed five refurbished and whimsically decorated pianos on downtown streets with an invitation for anyone to sit down and play. The pianos are located at Riverside Arts Market, the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts, Adrian Pickett Gallery at The Landing, Shoppes of Avondale and Downtown Art Walk. JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 9

Sal

Walter Coker

News

After conspicuously abstaining from the vote because the bill would benefit him personally, Mike Weinstein reversed himself two months later, making no mention of his admitted “conflict.”

Continued from page 9 Although Mullaney told Folio Weekly in 1998 that he would not avail himself of 94-1 if it passed, he did buy in under the new rules of the pension code. With two lump sum payments totaling $356,908, Mullaney bought 10 years of service. The purchase price is significant — he concedes he was “stunned by the cost” — but not a bad deal. A 25-year annuity with the same annual payout would cost about $2 million. Getting that for $356,908 isn’t such a bad return on investment.

oth Mullaney and Rohan are adamant they had nothing to do with the 2005 rewrite of the pension code. Mullaney says that after his early advocacy of 94-1, he kept all pension matters at arm’s length. “It’s not appropriate to be an advocate for legislation that would benefit you personally,” he told Folio Weekly. Asked if the same rules applied to Rohan, Mullaney said yes. “My philosophy would be, I would tell Steve not to be involved in it,” he said last week. “If it came up at all, I would have discouraged him.” In fact, it did come up. Rohan says his boss approached him after he’d made his 2005 from-

Mullaney has promised if elected to take aggressive action to rein in the pension system, which is teetering on the edge of insolvency. The city’s three pension funds need about $4 billion to cover their debts, and currently have only about $2.5 billion. That unfunded liability is a black hole for city finances, one few politicians have been willing to close. Mullaney has tried to break from that mold, and deliberately chose not to seek the endorsement of the powerful city unions, since one of their main issues is preventing a reduction of benefits. Mullaney’s stance is in sharp contrast with that of opponent Mike Hogan, who has eagerly sought (and in some cases won) the endorsement of city unions, and who has declined to propose any firm solutions to the pension crisis. But it’s unlikely that Mullaney is going to be able to talk tough on pensions without being called a hypocrite — something he’s already been called by Police Union President Nelson Cuba and Times-Union columnist Ron Littlepage. In a Dec. 21, 2010 letter to The Florida Times-Union, Mullaney said he wasn’t seeking the endorsement of city unions “because cutting spending — including pension reform and salary cuts — is crucial to getting city finances in order.” Of course,

Mullaney acknowledges that the decade-long involvement by city lawyers in overhauling the pension rules might raise questions. “I hear what you’re saying,” he said when asked if the perception was a problem. “I can appreciate what you’re saying.”

10 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

the-podium appeal to the Finance Committee and asked him to stay out of the issue for good. “I pulled back because Rick asked me not to,” Rohan told Folio Weekly. “He was concerned about perception of it.” But Rohan insists that the decision to add the State Attorney’s Office to the list of agencies permitted to buy into the city’s pension did not originate with him. “That [occurred] without my help, without Rick Mullaney’s help, without the help of anyone in the General Counsel’s Office, as far as I know,” Rohan said. Mullaney agreed. “I’m not sure how that happened … [But] I wasn’t involved at all.” Nevertheless, Mullaney — currently the top fundraiser in the mayor’s race — acknowledges that the decade-long involvement by city lawyers in overhauling the pension roles might raise questions. “I hear what you’re saying,” he said when asked if the perception was a problem. “I can appreciate what you’re saying.”

Mullaney, who earned more than $200,000 as the city’s top lawyer and is benefiting from a generous pension, is arguably part of both problems. Asked last week about managing the politics of his own pension, he conceded the issue will be a sticky one. But he is emphatic that his own circumstance wasn’t something he meddled to create. Instead, he says, his pension is the result of his substantial contributions to the pension system, his 29 years of service, and his higher salary. He believes that he can best address critics by “handling it in a straightforward, honest way.” He would not say whether, in hindsight, he would’ve forgone the pension buy-in simply for political reasons. But he does not apologize. “You’re supposed to live by the rules,” he says. “You don’t create the rules, but you’re supposed to live by the rules. … I’mp no different than anyone else.” Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com

Walter Coker

Ryan Dettra, former manager of The St. Augustine Amphitheatre, is reprising his role as indie rock club owner.

Up To Eleven

Café Eleven’s original owner hopes to pump new life into the once-amazing venue

ans of the most intimate indie-rock performance space in the county can breathe a sigh of relief — Ryan Dettra is back at the helm of the St. Augustine Beach institution formerly known as Café Eleven, which reopened on Saturday, Jan. 15. Of course, the good news comes with the quirky (unresolved legal wranglings with the family who bought the café in 2009 will probably force the original owners to pick a new name) and the bad: After months of public turmoil, the St. Johns County Cultural Events Division fired Dettra from his position as General Manager of the St. Augustine Amphitheatre on Dec. 3, citing an “insubordinate” email Dettra sent to his boss. That termination — long expected after Dettra aired his allegations of county mismanagement and misguided spending in July 2010 — means the St. Augustine Amphitheatre, St. Johns County Fairgrounds and newly opened Ponte Vedra Concert Hall will enter 2011 without the hard-working 32-year-old at the helm. But for those who miss Café Eleven’s creative menu and national rep for attracting top-flight indie acts to sleepy ol’ St. Augustine Beach, the trade-off might just be worth it. When British couple Mark and Tracey Trowbridge purchased Café Eleven from the Dettra family in October 2009, they swore to longtime fans and skeptical area residents that they would maintain the venue’s standing as a diamond in the Northeast Florida rough. They then instituted a series of sparsely attended open-mic nights, eliminated popular menu items like the weekend breakfast buffet, and even began closing for dinner most nights. The fears of many former Café Eleven habitués were confirmed. Those fears deepened in August when the Trowbridges split town, leaving Tracey’s father and sister to manage the restaurant. They also announced that after already-scheduled live shows (most of which Dettra booked) ran their course, no more would follow. And they did little to promote the remaining concerts. An October performance by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists — a likely sellout under the prior ownership — drew barely 30 people. A few months later, the owners shut the doors for good. The Dettra family’s decision to finance the sale of Café Eleven to the Trowbridges allowed them to resume ownership. “After the new owners didn’t pay

landlord’s rent or property taxes, they got evicted,” Ryan Dettra says. “We guaranteed the lease, so we had to pay it, which means we could step back in and start things back up again. But the place was gutted, so it really was like starting all over again. We’ve had to completely redo everything.” Dettra’s brother Greg managed the food side of Café Eleven during its first incarnation, but Ryan says he’s tasking himself with revamping the menu and running the kitchen this time around. Initially, the café will be open for breakfast and lunch, and they’ll work on opening for dinner. “We’re going to have the same menu, and we’ll add things as we go,” says Dettra. “I think one of the biggest things the new owners did wrong was to start changing things. People liked what we had going, so hopefully we’ll be able to bring that back.” On the musical side of the spectrum, Gainesville folkies Holopaw will rechristen the as-yet-unnamed venue on Saturday, Jan. 22, with help from Athens, Ga., indie rockers Witches and recently reformed Oldest City quartet Solid Pony, who are playing their first full-band gig in years. (Longtime guitarist and singer Lenny Rutland recently moved back to town.) Beyond that, Dettra has confirmed performances by Canadian Celtic rockers Enter The Haggis (Feb. 25) and California rapper Murs (March 19). “We’ll eventually do as much music as we did before,” Dettra promises. “The original Café Eleven feel is what we’re trying to turn it back into, but it will take a few months to achieve that.” As for his very public battle with St. Johns County’s Cultural Events Division, Dettra describes a meeting held last year that included the county, the city of St. Augustine and First America Foundation (the nonprofit tasked with coordinating the city’s upcoming 450th birthday celebration). Dettra says a county official told everyone present that they worked for St. Johns County, not the community. “After that, I said, ‘Well, I guess I’ve been doing it wrong all these years,’” Dettra says. “I always thought we were working for the community.’” Sighing, he adds, “I’m glad to not be stressed out by that stuff anymore — it was quite a burden to carry. But I’m still going to look for other opportunities to improve the arts and culture scene here in St. Augustine and St. Johns County.” Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 11

Burn Season

Pending retirements of black firefighters threatens to extinguish racial equity in the JFRD

acksonville’s black firefighters have been in mediation with the city for the past 16 months, trying to settle a discrimination lawsuit first filed 40 years ago. The two sides are purportedly close to an agreement, but any attempt to bring more black firefighters into the department won’t fix one looming problem: Over the next five years, 73 percent of black firefighters who’ve obtained the rank of engineer or above will be eligible for retirement. Most of the black leadership in the Jacksonville Fire & Rescue Department was hired in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Hiring of African Americans plummeted after 1992, when the city ended its one-for-one policy in hiring black and white firefighters. The result, those inside the department say, is a pending exodus of black firefighters of rank that will complicate relations in an already racially divided department. By the end of this year, some 111 of 151 black firefighters who’ve reached the rank of engineer or above will be eligible for retirement. (Firefighters are eligible for retirement at 20 years of service, though most defer for another five.) After those 111 retire, there will be no black battalion chiefs (currently, all nine are white), eight black fire lieutenants (out of a total of 202) and 22 black engineers (of 367). Firefighters who spoke to Folio Weekly say it will be at least five years before new hires will be in a position to test for lieutenant, and 10 to 15 years before they can test for captain or division chief. For rank-and-file black firefighters, the absence of blacks in leadership roles will mean fewer mentors on the force. For an ambitious firefighter who wants to move up the ranks, having access to an experienced firefighter as an ally and example is invaluable. It’s possible to have that relationship with a white officer, but it is more unusual, said one

12 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

black firefighter, adding, “If you’re African American, you mostly only have that kind of relationship with a black officer.” The city of Jacksonville has been under court order since a U.S. District Court ruled in 1971 that Jacksonville discriminated in its hiring of black firefighters. The city agreed to a 1982 consent order to hire one black firefighter for every white person hired, until the ratio reflected the city’s population. Between 1972 and 1995, the city added 220 black firefighters to the force, before declaring it had achieved the desired ratio, abandoning the consent order and the 1:1 hiring. The problem is that the city made that decision unilaterally — without going back to court to petition for release from the order. Last year, the black Brotherhood of Firefighters and the local chapter of the NAACP said the city had violated the consent order. U.S. Middle District Judge Timothy Corrigan reopened the 1971 case, and then asked Senior U.S. Judge Harvey Schlesinger to mediate a settlement. After the city abandoned the consent order, the department’s racial balance changed dramatically. Between 1992 and 1995, the city hired 136 firefighters — 134 of whom were white. Although the city claims it meets the court requirement because black firefighters make up roughly 20 percent of the force and leadership positions, the 2000 U.S. Census puts the total number of African Americans in the city at 30 percent of the population. Regardless, the pending retirements seem certain to bring that percentage down. “The numbers don’t lie,” said one AfricanAmerican firefighter, whose identity Folio Weekly agreed to protect. “The settlement that’s on the table will address future hiring, future promotions, but it won’t undo more than 40 years of discrimination. It’s a shit sandwich, at best.” Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

Opinion

he people have spoken. But what did they say? I wish that President Obama, besieged by conservatives warning him to heed the voice of the people, could summon the impudence to say what I might say, in his place, about the midterm elections of 2010. Maybe this is the way he’d answer his tormentors, if he dared: “When you can explain to me why Americans who have so little join forces against me with those who have way too much, then I might begin to understand what the electorate is saying.” He would never hear an honest reply. The dishonest one, a mantra on the Right, is that all those Americans, rich and poor, share an unshakable belief in the free-market economy — which in the case of blue-collar tea-baggers is the same as an unshakable belief that they will win the lottery. The great Republican resurrection of 2010 makes no sense whatsoever where traditional logic prevails. A cartoon by Dan Wasserman of the Boston Globe shows the shell-shocked donkey and the jubilant elephant sitting at a bar. The donkey says, “They voted you back into office out of anger over the mess you created?” and the leering pachyderm replies, “You don’t believe in recycling?” The midterms make exactly that much sense, unless you concede that they mark the most successful manipulation of the gullible by the cynical that this deceitful republic has yet witnessed. Billionaires and “undisclosed” corporate donors poured kings’ ransoms into relentless attack ads against vulnerable Democrats. Right-wing broadcasters circulated myths and lies that would have made Joseph Goebbels blush, and every racist and xenophobic impulse threatening to a non-white president was exploited without apology. The secret money served it up, and the logic-impaired Tea Party irregulars swallowed the poisoned bait with relish. The net result of the vaunted populist rebellion of 2010 was a sharp turn toward corporate feudalism, as the House of Representatives and many state legislatures and governors’ mansions reverted to a rudderless but ruthless Republican Party that has never been less deserving of another chance. Actually, it could have been much worse. The Senate failed to fall to the barbarians, many targeted incumbents survived, some of the goofiest Tea Party candidates like Sharron Angle and Christine O’Donnell were rejected. Nazi re-enactor Rich Iott and Ilario Pantano, the ex-Marine officer tried for murdering Iraqi civilians, will not be taking their uniforms to Washington, D.C. America will survive this election. It will not, in the long run, survive what the voting revealed about our political system. We’ve finally achieved institutional incoherence. In the regions especially prone to “conservative” excess, people voted to be governed by those who reject government; they elected legislators who support no legislation and created incumbents who despise all incumbents. Irony never crossed their minds. But when they exhumed the decomposing Republicans, who had all but

committed political suicide at the end of the second Bush administration, they confirmed that the mainspring of the democratic process is broken. Voters may have had many reasons to be upset, but they had no positive way to express it. As the two-party system founders, political choice in America is never multiple choice. It’s Yes/No, True/False, chocolate or vanilla even if you hate them both — don’t even dream of strawberry or maple walnut. It may be true that the voters have no memory, but they have no options, either. They can only kick the revolving door and watch yesterday’s gross failures pose as tomorrow’s brightest hopes. If the presidential election of 2008 was a source of hope and pride for America and our long-suffering supporters overseas, these midterms are a source of queasiness and acute anxiety. The Hard Right’s demonization of Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi, almost comical for its rhetorical overkill, wasn’t significantly more savage than the assault on Bill and Hillary Clinton in 1994, the last midterm that resulted in disaster for congressional Democrats. The Clintons — pre-Monica Lewinsky — were accused of multiple felonies up to and including murder, as you may recall. This generation of Republican thugs flatly refuses to accept any Democrat in the White House. But Pres. Obama’s race stirs up even darker stuff from the American subconscious. The Tea Party adamantly denied a racist agenda, even as many of its independent operatives committed flagrant racial trespasses. It reminded me of a friend in New York, of mixed race like the president, who told me years ago that one of our office colleagues gave him the creeps. I asked him if the man in question had insulted him. “No, no, he’s always polite,” my friend replied. “But if I was to bite him — hard — I know he’d call me a nigger.”

Ladies and Gentlemen

This recession is biting a lot of Americans — hard — and a lot of masks have come off. For those of us who have chronicled and applauded gradual progress in the post-Wallace South,

it’s depressing to see an article in The New York Times headlined “White Democrats Face Extinction in the South.” According to the Times, antipathy toward Obama has pretty much completed the racial polarization and Republican conquest of the Deep South states, which will send only one white Democrat to serve in the next Congress. (The mid-South exception is North Carolina, where seven of eight Democratic representatives were re-elected — five of them white. Yet Democrats lost both houses of the legislature.) This racial backsliding is a source of shame, and so is the knowledge that my own demographic group, old white men who live in the so-called flyover states of the South, Appalachia, Midwest and West, are the heart and soul of the Tea Party insurrection and the Republican restoration. The midterms indicate that an overwhelming majority of the good ol’

supremacist. How strange, now, to have to deal with a virtual Limbaugh Ladies Auxiliary — in frightening cases like Michele Bachmann, more like the Brides of Beckenstein. I wrote a piece on the Tea Party, noting that we never hear the word “communist” in this country unless someone threatens the white man’s traditional death grip on the economy. Re-reading it after publication, I realized half the Far Right candidates I was disparaging were female. If one of these women becomes the first female president of the United States, it’s a giant step forward and 20 big steps backward. What are we seeing here? Can you accept liberation and prosper from it, and then reject liberals? Have these women noticed the similarity between the two words? Can they stand nonchalantly on the shoulders of several generations of fighting feminists without

What a priceless irony to see Tea Party women parading in 18th-century costumes, celebrating a time when white women in America were only marginally more empowered than African slaves. boys, if that’s who they are, will now vote for anything but a Democrat. “That is no country for old men,” the poet wrote of another country, and soon there will be no country anywhere for old men like these. There are mornings when I’m particularly cranky, when the arthritis packs a special bite, that I can almost forgive the stubborn, selfdestructive stupidity of surly codgers, facing decrepitude and irrelevance like the rest of us, who just can’t come to grips with the future shock of Facebook, gay marriage and a president named Barack instead of Jim or Ed. Almost. But a greater disappointment and a bigger surprise, is the flight to the Right of so many ambitious women. To me, a Republican woman has always seemed as improbable as a black white

acknowledging their debt? They must know that however far they’ve come, the fundamentalist reactionaries who’ve absorbed the GOP did nothing to help get them get there. Whether it was the Equal Rights Amendment, professional equality, education or reproductive rights, these are Republicans who opposed the rise of women every step of the way. My late father, hardly a feminist by modern standards, used to say that we’d benefit from women in office because they were by nature less venal and predatory, less warlike and callous and more sympathetic to underdogs. I always believed that, but after a couple of years watching Sarah Palin and her clones boasting about their ability to shoot arrows into the hearts of large herbivores — watching Sharron Angle in her

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 13

A greater disappointment and a bigger surprise, is the flight to the Right of so many ambitious women. To me, a Republican woman has always seemed as improbable as a black white supremacist.

14 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

pickup waving a .44 Magnum — I’m beginning to question the old man’s wisdom. With a chance to prove that they’re better than men, why do these women choose instead to be men — and not the best men, either? What a priceless irony to see Tea Party women parading in 18th-century costumes, celebrating a time when white women in America were only marginally more empowered than African slaves. Republican women are a phenomenon that continues to throw me. Come to think of it, my father never actually said women were smarter — though in our family, it was my mother who was the first to smell the rat that was Vietnam. But nearly two-thirds of all white men — 63 percent — have just cast their votes for a Republican party 10 miles to the right of the one my father supported. Dirk or distaff, as the Scots used to say, there was nothing much in this election cycle to inspire confidence in the American electorate or the candidates it produces and elects. And far less to inspire confidence in the media that egged them on, and not coincidentally milked them and their “undisclosed” cash cows for several billion dollars in venomous, repetitive, content-free attack ads. The one way the media blitz swayed me was to change my stance on immigration. Though easy-going Australians have always been among my favorite national types, in the future I vote to keep them out of America. If we could have stopped just one Aussie, Rupert Murdoch, from achieving naturalization, what a much kinder, cleaner, smarter nation we would be. If Rush Limbaugh deserved a lion’s share of the credit for getting out the Neanderthal vote in 1994, we can thank Murdoch’s FOX News and FOX Radio, the boiler rooms of neo-fascist reaction, for the triumphant return of the American knuckledragger in 2010. It’s not true that politics in America are so polarized because both sides are fleeing from the center. Left of center we’re just standing here, maybe even edging a little to the right, watching the Far Right recede rapidly into the primordial mists. Glenn Beck dresses and talks like a 21stcentury time-share salesman, but the weird benighted, xenophobic, theocratic things he says are like an echo from another century — and not a century in which I ever lived. Tea Party types who maintain that global warming is a myth and a conspiracy, in stubborn defiance of science, are as stupid and primitive as a cult of medieval peasants worshipping goats. In a system where the majority rules and money rules the majority, a coalition of the richest and the dumbest is a formidable roadblock to progress. I don’t buy the Democrats’ selfrecriminations, those election post-mortems

that blame the president for being off-message, unable to communicate his agenda, out of touch with the Real America. I respect the journalism and political views of the author and foreign correspondent Chris Hedges, but I take issue with his pre-election essay blaming “the liberal class” for this latest debacle. “The virulent right-wing backlash we now experience,” according to Hedges, “is an expression of the liberal class’s flagrant betrayal of the citizenry.” He vilifies “the college-educated liberal elite who abetted or did nothing to halt the corporate assault on the poor and the working class.” Nah. This Leftish hand-wringing is more out of touch, it seems to me, than the so-called elite it indicts. First of all, there is no “liberal class” of any substantial size or common purpose to be found in America. There are only the micro-cliques of writers, artists, scholars and journalists frequented by people like me and Chris Hedges — well-read, welltraveled Americans with many friends and acquaintances who are not white, straight or Christian. This is not a class, merely a fragment of one, a smaller group than the reigning superrich. Most of America’s progressive votes come instead from what I call “the decent class,” thoughtful, non-ideological moderates repelled by loud voices and simplistic solutions. Second, it might be a trace smug of Hedges to indict his liberal contemporaries for silence and collaboration. I entirely agree that corporate “neo-feudalism,” as he calls it, rules our politics and our economy. But even liberals and idealists have to eat, and certainly many of us can claim that we habitually bite the hand that feeds us. Nor are we by definition out of touch with “heartland” people who may be out of work and find solace in FOX News. I wasn’t raised in Scarsdale or Belle Meade or a gated community, but in an Appalachian backwater where college graduates were as rare as BMWs, jobs were always scarce and the deerhunters still vote Republican. I knew these people and I know many of them still. I know what’s amiable and admirable about them — and what’s not. I don’t need to be in closer touch with people who leer and snicker when Rush Limbaugh calls the president “Hussein.” I’m close enough, thank you.

Free $peech

Though it’s true to their traditions and commitments — blame the bourgeoisie, even the educated bourgeoisie, rather than the suffering masses — this is not the time for left-wing masochists to waste time scourging themselves. Better to take a hard critical look at those masses. Political and economic illiteracy are the rule, not

Opinion the exception, among voting Americans. Fewer than half of them can identify Joe Biden as the incumbent vice president. A test on basic civics and the Constitution, mandated by Congress and administered only to college graduates, resulted in what the National Civic Literacy Board called “an overall failing grade on a test that measures knowledge of basic American history, government, foreign affairs and economics.” Fewer than two-thirds of these scholars could even name the three branches of government. While NBC’s Matt Lauer conducted the first post-White House interview with George W. Bush, author of a new memoir and 90 percent of America’s current sorrows, three times as many Americans watched “Dancing With the Stars.” Where ignorance rules, there are some who are inspired to educate, and usually more who are inspired to exploit. The recession placed unexpected pressure on a lot of underdeveloped intellects, the kind of pressure that tends to ripen the fruits of ignorance — fear, prejudice, envy, misplaced anger and resentment. To rightwing extremists and special interests who had been licking their wounds and scheming since 2008, gnawing discontent represented golden opportunity, the promise of a rich harvest of confused and malleable voters. Though the troglodyte triumvirate of Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity is paid $114 million annually to seduce the sub-literate multitudes — for nine hours daily on FOX Radio — the usual lavish smorgasbord of reactionary bile and gibberish was deemed insufficient for 2010. Unleashed by a Supreme Court majority who ruled that corporate campaign spending, even anonymous spending, was the exact equivalent of First Amendment free speech, those dark forces “outside” the political system reached deep into their well-lined pockets and spent nearly half-abillion dollars, a quarter of it from “undisclosed” sources, to underwrite attack ads and steer a staggering, half-bankrupt nation to the Right. Mission accomplished. The Greedhead Gospel of cutting taxes, shrinking government, deregulating markets, baiting liberals and berating Obama appears to have a stranglehold on the House of Representatives, promising, at the very best, two years of gridlock and stagnation when we can least afford it. But one thing is certain. Unless those were hedge fund managers out there disguised as home-cooked idiots in leather vests and tri-corner hats, there won’t be a single long-range benefit for the sad old souls who marched under the Tea Party’s wistful banners. Shrinking or neutering the government never helped anyone with a net worth under eight figures. You can sell almost anything in America but common sense. This country is notorious, and unique, for all its poor people who want to keep wealth unchained just in case they should acquire some. I can’t explain why Americans would vote to return to an economic philosophy that imploded in their faces just two years ago, causing most of the misery they’re bearing so unstoically. No more than I can explain why a majority of women, for the first time, voted Republican. It may be that voters below a certain level of ratiocination, logical faculties permanently maimed by reality TV and video games, are no longer able to resist the kind of attack ads that came at them in a $4 billion tidal wave. The big corporate contributors wouldn’t fund this operation so generously if they weren’t confident of a handsome return. Never in human history has so much cash and so much expertise been devoted to what would once have been called

mind control or brainwashing, and is now called free speech. There’s no apparent limit to what the right-wing coalition can spend, or will spend, to bring out the worst in Americans. On a morning TV show, I heard a Democratic consultant describe the outrageous explosion of campaign spending — at $4 billion, up nearly 50 percent from the last midterm election — as “a cancerous growth on our democracy.” Next to him the obligatory Republican, an over-groomed sort of clubwoman, smiled as if the canary still rested on her tongue and allowed mildly that costs are certainly going up, and wait till next time. In Washington, the former general counsel of the

model soldier who spent six years with the elite corps that guards the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, was killed in Afghanistan by the usual “improvised explosive device.” The only frontpage headlines from the war zones now are local deaths. The morning after the election, where 62 percent of voters in exit polls said the economy was the most important issue, a small headline on Page 9 revealed that Baghdad had been blown to pieces once again — 78 killed, 200 wounded, 13 separate bombings. “Among the fiercest assaults since the U.S. invaded in 2003,” said the Times. In September, there were 23 rocket attacks on Baghdad’s heavily fortified Green Zone, supposedly the most secure American

Never in human history has so much cash and so much expertise been devoted to what would once have been called mind control or brainwashing, and is now called free speech. Republican National Committee boasted that the 2010 spending orgy was just “practice” for 2012. If the Democrats seem passive and wimpy — and sometimes they do, for sure — it’s partly because most Democrats are not the kinds of people who think life and politics are blood sports. They tend to quail from the brass-knuckles butchery that Karl Rove and his disciples throw in their faces, and who can blame them? But the insane flow of dirty money and the vile rhetoric it supported — though they probably spell doom for this venerable democracy — were not even the worst scandal of the election season.

Veteran’s Day

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installation in Iraq. At the same time, insurgents were murdering Baghdad’s Christians wholesale, This is a copyrig right under our noses. In twice the time it took American troops to defeat Hitler, Mussolini and Tojo, questions, our victorious forces have failed For please calldismally your advertising representative at 260-9770. RU to secure this single city in the Middle East, FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 while idiot pundits in Washington keep praising “the surge.” In Afghanistan, where Pres. Obama Produced by ab PROMISE OF BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION chose to escalate, combat deaths are still rising, the once-puppet Karzai government increasingly distances itself from the U.S. and most Afghanis have made it clear that they prefer the Taliban to the Americans. The wars are a disaster that have cost our wounded economy a trillion dollars and counting, and will result in no net gain for the United States if we spend $10 trillion more. Torture, war crimes, cover-ups, the lengthening

“This is war,” declared the egregious Andrew Breitbart, Rove disciple, Republican blogger, media terrorist whose lovely job is to manufacture falsehoods that might discredit or embarrass Democrats. No, politics are not war, you ghastly twit, they’re an attempt to reconcile our differences and run a huge country sanely — something Americans used to attempt in good faith, or so I thought. But the unbearable irony is that the nation is waistdeep in two genuine, bloody, hopeless wars that neither side in these elections chose to mention. No candidate had to take a side because no debate was evident. “This Time Around, Both Parties Barely Mention Wars,” read the headline in the Times. But the night before the election, the lead headline on the front page of the WinstonSalem Journal was I can almost forgive the stubborn, self-destructive stupidity of surly codgers, “Carver Grad Killed facing decrepitude and irrelevance like the rest of us, who just can’t come to in War.” Staff Sgt. grips with the future shock of Facebook, gay marriage and a president named Adam Dickmyer, a Barack instead of Jim or Ed. Almost.

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 15

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Opinion shadow of the Blackwater mercenaries. But the worst part is the way we treat our own soldiers. We’ve sent them to an almost-literal hell — a daily check of world temperatures usually reveals that Baghdad is the hottest major city in the world — where 5,500 have died and 35,000 have been maimed and seriously wounded. An estimated 300,000 veterans have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress. And no one in the mainstream, in either party, really seems to care. “Go to hell,” taken literally or figuratively, is America’s message to its military. Several Republican senators, to their credit, even caught the Pentagon rigging discharges for combat-stressed veterans to deprive them of medical benefits. “For most Americans, the wars remain an abstraction — a distant and unpleasant series of news items that do not affect them personally,” said the fringe radical Robert Gates, Secretary of Defense, in a recent speech that received little attention. Military service, said Gates, “has become something for other people to do.” With no prospect of a military draft because it’s

Wars end, eventually, and it’s generally acknowledged that they were mistakes. Sorry. But the dead stay dead, the crippled stay crippled, the damaged stay damaged. ©

16 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

poison at the polls, one percent of the American population (fewer than 3 million active and reserve volunteers) has been cynically sacrificed to one long war that should never have been 2011 and another that should have ended the minute Osama bin Laden escaped. All these wars of occupation are much the same. Years later, the men who started them repudiate them — first Robert McNamara and now the grotesque old warlord Henry Kissinger, admitting on the eve of the 2010 election that American goals in Vietnam were “unachievable.” This summer, I heard F. William Smullen III, former chief of staff for Secretary of State Colin Powell, concede that Powell was “misled” into supporting the invasion of Iraq. “Quite frankly,” said Smullen, “he was given some bad information from the CIA. Most of it was coming from a single source, an Iraqi that wanted attention and wanted money.” Good grief. Another headline: “American Influence Dwindling in Iraq.” And another that should have caused every American citizen to cringe and grind his teeth: “Bush Looks Back, Has Few Regrets.” The wars end, eventually, and it’s generally acknowledged that they were mistakes. Sorry. But the dead stay dead, the crippled stay crippled, the damaged stay damaged. Suicides mount among exhausted veterans — 162 in 2009, 125 this year with three months to go. Drug addiction, homelessness, alcoholism, crime. We’ve created a whole new underclass. Then we hold the most ferocious, expensive midterm election of all time and no one seems to notice the wars? The Tea Party indeed. Where’s the Peace Party? Where’s the country’s conscience? Where’s its heart? Where’s its brain?

FolioWeekly

Hal Crowther themail@folioweekly.com

Let’s Go Nowhere W

orld travel: I’d prefer to do something else, thankyouverymuch! There are those who say, “Travel broadens the mind as well as the soul,” and to those people I say, “APPLE CRAP!!” While I’ll admit there are certain upsides to world travel (easier access to illegal pharmaceuticals, totally insane strip bars, more enthusiastic prostitutes), there are far more downsides (diarrhea, indecipherable languages, diarrhea, constantly running into Germans, diarrhea, non-subtitled movies, diarrhea, Communism, sores that won’t go away, diarrhea, an absence of Totino’s frozen pizzas, being gored by a bull, didgeridoos, diarrhea, didgeridoos). Every single time I’ve stepped foot out of the USA, I immediately wished I hadn’t. Example: Once I visited Vancouver, B.C. — that’s in Canada. “B.C.” stands for “Before Christ,” which was when most of their hotels were built. Anyway, the moment I stepped out of the car — I’m not making this up — some sort of bird emptied the entire contents of

Every single time I’ve stepped foot out of the USA, I immediately wished I hadn’t. its colon on my head. I’m not talking a little poop, either. I’m talking enough bird shit to fill an empty can of house paint. So yeah … EF YOU and your EFFING BIRDS, CANADA!! I also visited Mexico — and quickly learned the people there like to pretend they can’t understand you … even when you put an “o” at the end of all your words. (“¿Dónde está automobilio?” “¿Dónde está frozeno Totino pizzo?”) If they don’t want me to put an “o” at the end of every word, why do they call it Mexic-O?!? And don’t fawking ask me why, but one time I visited Thailand — and OMG, it’s like “Land of the Lost” with crossdressers. Actually, the crossdressers were the best part (along with the girl at the Bangkok strip bar who popped balloons by shooting darts out her hoo-hoo). As it turns out, I didn’t really enjoy the six-foot monitor lizard that chased me through the jungle. Or the absolutely horrifying giant bat with a six-foot wingspan and the head of a fox that mistook my testicles for a mango. (In the bat’s defense, I was wearing an orange-colored thong.) ANYWAY! Call me xenophobic if you must (especially since I don’t know what it means), but I’m not the only one who despises world travel. In the upcoming series “An Idiot Abroad” (debuts Saturday, Jan. 22, 10 p.m., Science Channel), noted British dingaling Karl Pilkington — sidekick to “comedian” Ricky Gervais, who often calls him “a lovable but empty-headed chimplike moron, buffoon, idiot” — hates other cultures with a passion and is therefore sent on a frightening mission to visit the Seven Wonders of the World. He climbs the Great Wall of China (noting, “I call it the All Right Wall of China”), views the pyramids (“Looks

like a game of Jenga that got out of hand”) and rides camels in Jordan (“Me bollocks are squashed”). It’s absolutely hilarious. (By the way, in response to Pilkington’s “squashed bollocks”: HEY, PAL, QUIT COMPLAINING! AT LEAST A GIANT FLYING BAT DIDN’T TRY TO EAT THEM!! Hmmf. Xenophobe.)

TUESDAY, JANUARY 18 8:00 FOX GLEE In this Glee-peat, Kurt gets horny for the Warblers, and Mr. Schue makes out with Biest to cheer her up. (WTF?!?) 10:00 FX LIGHTS OUT Ex-boxing champ Lights is forced back into the ring by a dickhead loan shark with an axe to grind!

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 19 8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL Season premiere! Randy Jackson changes his catchphrase from “What up, dog?” to “Why am I here, yo?” 9:00 ABC MODERN FAMILY The Dunphy kids walk in on their parents having sex, and immediately go into epileptic shock.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20 8:30 NBC PERFECT COUPLES Debut! A new somewhat absurdist sitcom about three young couples. (Including yummy Olivia Munn. Yum!) 10:00 USA FAIRLY LEGAL Debut! A nutty former lawyer turns mediator to heartwarmingly help her clients.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 21 10:00 IFC ONION NEWS NETWORK Debut! The hilarious web shenanigans of The Onion, now in a convenient half-hour TV show. 10:30 IFC PORTLANDIA Debut! SNL’s Fred Armisen and Sleater-Kinney’s Carrie Brownstein in a sketch comedy about the filthy hipsters of Portland.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 22 10:00 SCIENCE AN IDIOT ABROAD Debut! “Funny” megalomaniac Ricky Gervais forces sidekick Karl Pilkington into an ill-fated visit to China.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 23 8:00 FAM MEAN GIRLS 2 — Movie (2011) A sequel to the original “Mean Girls” starring Meaghan Martin and Lindsay Lohan’s SCRAM bracelet. 9:00 HBO BIG LOVE Now firmly out of the closet, Bill decides to expose other polygamists for fun.

MONDAY, JANUARY 24 8:00 ABC THE BACHELOR Fourteen women remain — one of whom has a black eye and claims she has “no idea” how she got it. UH-HUH. 10:00 LOGO RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE Season premiere! Another season of the draggiest show in the universe! (In a good way!) Wm.™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 17

Sportstalk Ball Drop

MLB can’t escape the Hall of Fame blame game

aseball purists, rejoice! Finally, after years of waiting, longtime Major League pitcher Bert Blyleven has made the Hall of Fame. In preceding years, his numbers just weren’t good enough. Now, since he last pitched during the waning weeks of the Poppy Bush administration, the question becomes, what exactly made him a more attractive candidate in 2011 than in 2001? The answer, lamentably, has less to do with the journeyman hurler than it does with what happened to the game itself since Blyleven retired. Specifically, the ’90s. The time when every city with a baseball team felt compelled to build these hitter-friendly bandbox stadiums at taxpayers’ expense — and why not, given how astronomically awesome the American economy was then? It was a time when our nation thrilled to the exploits of heroic figures like Albert Belle, with his corked sticks and ’roid rages. And Barry Bonds, the greatest power hitter of all time, whose skull served as inspiration for the bobble-head craze some years back. And, of course, Brady Anderson — the light-hitting, light-footed shortstop who somehow hit 50 homeruns one year, never to come close to that number again. And who can forget Sammy Sosa and his “baseball’s been berry good to me” shtick? Yeah, baseball. And your prescribing doctor. And the myopic largesse of the flabby-hearted American taxpayer, deluded into equating the success of a professional sports concern with some vicarious accomplishment of his own. The MLB HOF voted in two men this year: the aforementioned Blyleven and Roberto Alomar. Strong choices, both. And indicative of the group’s current reluctance to vote in anyone whose reputation may have been tainted by PED use. Rafael Palmeiro? Juan Gonzalez? Buff Bagwell? Say no go, to quote De La Soul. Never mind that when these guys were playing, they were built like Superstar Billy Graham at the height of his ’roid-driven prominence. We all could see it. We could see it in their bulging arms, a world apart from the potbellied, pothead sluggers of the ’70s. We could see it in four-hour games and final scores that resembled football tallies. But we pretended not to notice, because we wanted our heroes, our subjects of masturbatory fantasies. I remember it like it was yesterday, mostly because, when it was happening, I was an obese social isolate with little to do besides upsize combo meals and peruse primetime professional sports. Well, some things never change, but what has changed since halcyon days of the baseball “power explosion” is the wink-and-nod attitude the business has toward what was rampant cheating in its midst. I remember too well the ads on WTBS, where Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine quipped about “chicks digging the long ball,” tacitly endorsing the chemicalization of the

game’s stats. And who can forget the po’faced pundits and their endless yammering about how the lighter baseball was driving greater home run totals? Of course it’s the ball! Because as we all know, baseball is cleaner than a rest-area urinal. I’ve left out one name on purpose, so far, because he is bigger than the rest. Mark

Bert Blyleven

Yeah, baseball. And your prescribing doctor. And the myopic largesse of the flabby-hearted American taxpayer.

18 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

“Big Mac” McGwire, he of the ridiculous Congressional testimony a few years ago when he pissed and moaned and bellyached that “asking me or any other player to answer questions about who took steroids in front of television cameras will not solve the problem. If a player answers ‘No,’ he simply will not be believed; if he answers ‘Yes,’ he risks public scorn and endless government investigations. … My lawyers have advised me that I cannot answer these questions without jeopardizing my friends, my family and myself. I will say, however, that it remains a fact in this country that a man, any man, should be regarded as innocent unless proven guilty.” HA! Heard of GTMO, buddy? There is no presumption of innocence outside of a sixth-grade social studies text, not in this America, where schools churn out semi-literate sociopaths who are ready-made customers of the prison-industrial complex, where they become made men, learning the lessons their gutless fathers couldn’t stick around to teach them. And for McGwire, who was in the news because of andro as far back as 1998, to play the “innocent until proven guilty”/due process card — pathetic. He admitted as much in 2010, sure, saying he “wished [I’d] never played in the steroid era.” But that’s BS. He just wishes he’d never been caught. But fear not, all is not lost. The owners got the ball parks. The juice boys got paid. Why keep them out of the HOF now? They cheated, and every owner in baseball knew it, facilitated it, and turned a blind eye. They succeeded in the game under the rules the powerbrokers allowed to exist, specifically because they wanted to grow the business by growing the athletes. A.G. Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com

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the mustard seed cafe

Located inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with Lisa Harter’s impeccable style. Popular items are ginger chicken salad, falafel pitas, black bean burgers and Asian noodles with tuna. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

beech street grill

Located in Capt. Bell’s historic 1889 home, Beech Street has daily blackboard specials featuring regional seafood dishes.A full bar is served and an extensive, award-winning wine list is available. Reservations are recommended. Piano entertainment in the dining room is featured Thursday through Saturday evenings. Dress is resort-casual. Open for dinner nightly. Lunch Wed.-Fri. 11:00 a.m.-2p.m. Sunday Brunch 11:00 a.m.-2 p.m. beechstreetgrill.com 801 Beech Street 904-277-3662

plae restaurant & lounge

Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly. Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted. 80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

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cafe karibo

Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches. 27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 south eats

This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices. The eclectic menu offers traditional world cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. Mon.-Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com 29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

brett’s waterway café

Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily. Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

t-ray’s burger station moon river pizza

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you. 925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

the surf

Enjoy a casual beach atmosphere in the full-service restaurant, bar and huge oceanview deck. Extensive menu features delicious steaks, fresh seafood and nightly specials. Also featuring salads, wraps, burgers, seafood baskets and our famous all-you-can-eat wing specials (Wed. & Sun.). Take-out available. Open at 11 a.m. daily for lunch, dinner and latenight menu. Entertainment nightly and 29 TVs throughout. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-261-5711

sliders seaside grill

Oceanfront dining at its finest! Enjoy our award-winning crab cakes, fresh daily seafood specials and homemade desserts. Sliders has Amelia Island’s only waterfront Tiki Bar, as well as a children’s playground, and live music every weekend. Open at 11 a.m. daily, with happy hour held Monday-Friday from 4-7 p.m. Make Sliders Seaside Grill your place to be for friends and family, entertainment and the best food on the East Coast. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-277-6652

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go! Now serving Beer & Wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays. 202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

jack & diane’s

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite! 708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

kelley’s courtyard café

From She Crab Soup and salads, fried green tomatoes and a delectable selection of gourmet sandwiches and wraps, visitors to this bright café and patio are treated to a memorable meal. Signature desserts, vegetarian dishes and catering are available, too. Open Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Dinner 5:30-9pm. 19 S. Third Street 904-432-8213

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 19

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Fol

Reasons to leave the house this week TRIBUTE RITZ CHAMBER PLAYERS

The Ritz Chamber Players celebrate the life and message of Martin Luther King Jr. with the concert “In Remembrance of the Dream,” featuring works by Shostakovich, Le Chavelier de Saint Georges, Lena McLin, Edward Boatner and Adolphus Hailstork’s “Songs of Love and Justice,” featuring Dr. King’s words. The notable ensemble performs on Wednesday, Jan. 19 at 7:30 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $25; $20 for seniors, military and teachers; $10 for student rush. 354-5547.

FUN RUN CITY SCRAMBLE

An event that’s one part scavenger hunt, one part puzzle and one part cardio workout, The City Scramble forces contestants to put on their thinking caps and their running shoes as twoperson teams use cell phones, GPS, laptops and other tech-tools to follow clues along a 5-mileplus course through Riverside and Avondale for a $500 cash prize. The race starts on Saturday, Jan. 22 at 11 a.m. at O’Brothers Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret St., Jacksonville (check-in at 10 a.m.). Early registration is $50; $100 on race day. Register online at signmeup.com/73004

SOUTHERN ROCK DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS

Since 1996, the Athens, Ga.-based band Drive-By Truckers has been pleasantly confounding fans and critics about what it means to be a Southern rock band. Led by singer-songwriter Patterson Hood, the Truckers have fearlessly changed direction, personnel and even sound more times than the average band changes the oil in their ’68 VW touring bus. Rolling into town in support of their latest, critically acclaimed release, “The Big To-Do,” Drive-By Truckers perform with Futurebirds on Sunday, Jan. 23 at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $20. 246-2473.

SONGSTRESS BERNADETTE PETERS

For the past 50 years, Bernadette Peters has enjoyed a creative career that began as a child performer and has earned both Tony and Grammy Awards as a film and stage actress, singer and children’s book author. (Of course, her career highlight is a playful rendition of “Tonight You Belong to Me” with a ukulele-strumming Steve Martin in “The Jerk.”) Peters performs with the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra for “An Evening with Bernadette Peters” on Wednesday, Jan. 19 at 8 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $26-$56. 354-5547.

STAGE DRUMLINE LIVE!

The cast of DRUMline Live! honors a tradition begun as a way for Historically Black Colleges and Universities to drum up support for their football teams. It’s since evolved into its own competitive sport, and film subject, shown in the 2002 movie “Drumline.” The ensemble arrives in Northeast Florida on Saturday, Jan. 22 at 8 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $31-$71. 632-3373.

EQUALITY LGBT FEST

University of North Florida’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender (LGBT) Resource Center presents Awareness Days, a series of educational programs including workshops, a photography display, film screening, a T-shirt campaign and free anonymous HIV testing from Monday, Jan. 24 through Thursday, Jan. 27. The aim is to increase education and visibility of LGBT communities on campus while fostering an atmosphere of tolerance and mutual respect. The film “Bullied,” chronicling one student’s struggle with anti-gay bullies, is screened on Tuesday, Jan. 25 at 6 p.m. at UNF’s Robinson Theater, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. A Q&A follows. 620-5197, 620-1000. unf.edu/dept/lgbt

SURE PICK

SATURDAY, JAN. 22

INDIE RESURGENCE

Over the past decade, Café Eleven has brought in rising stars like Vampire Weekend, The Hold Steady, Iron & Wine and Modest Mouse, along with incendiary punk (Monotonix), experimental noise (Wolf Eyes), political folk (Hammell on Trial), and local superstars (Black Kids). Though the club failed rather spectacularly after being sold in 2009 (see News, p. 11), founder and original owner Ryan Dettra is back at the helm, and plans to restore the café’s original musical glow. The club formerly known as Café Eleven along with Bakery Outlet Records presents Gainesville indie rockers Holopaw (pictured), with Witches and Solid Pony on Saturday, Jan. 22 at 8 p.m. at 501 A1A Beach Blvd. S., St. Augustine Beach. Admission is $7. 460-9311. JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 21

Hardcore Pone: Even the children aren’t safe when Gwyneth Paltrow pulls up a chair, kicks off her shoes and destroys her career in the cacophonous “Country Strong.”

Bland Ol’ Slop’ry!

Weak music melodrama “Country Strong” is an out-of-tune mess Country Strong *G@@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach

ere’s an idea: Let’s make a movie based in the world of country music, cast country music sensation Tim McGraw, and then not let him sing! Instead, let’s have the three other leads — none of whom have much experience singing — carry the tunes! The sad thing is, this isn’t even the worst decision in “Country Strong.” Writer/director Shana Feste’s movie is slam full of musical losers feeling sorry for themselves and making bad decisions at pivotal moments in their lives.

him, playing in a dive that smells like beer and puke is what country music is all about. A loser hiding behind a veil of fake integrity is just a self-righteous loser. Also along for the ride is beauty queen and aspiring singer Chiles Stanton (Leighton Meester), a naïve country girl with severe stage fright who really doesn’t belong in the movie. Seriously: There’s absolutely no need for her character, she serves no purpose in the story and aside from showing us her underwear for one fleeting moment, she’s useless. The story is one cliché after another, to the point where it’s impossible to like anyone. Worse, the characters are thinly drawn: Kelly is always singing or crying (or both), James is always angry, and Beau is always singing or trying to take care of Kelly, even though

Watching “Country Strong” is like spending two hours with odious, superficial people. I suggest you enthusiastically recommend this mistake of a movie to people you genuinely dislike.

22 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

These people may want success, but they’re too busy insisting on being miserable to enjoy it. At the center of the drama is country queen Kelly Canter (Gwyneth Paltrow). She’s immediately identified as an alcoholic adulterer who killed her unborn baby when she drunkenly fell off a stage, but we’re not allowed to judge her because she’s going through a really tough time right now. Similarly, we can’t judge her cold, distant husband/manager James (McGraw), who’s clearly out of love with her but continues their sham marriage for reasons never fully explained. Braced for a huge comeback, James hires Kelly’s boy-toy Beau (Garrett Hedlund) to join them for a three-city tour. Here’s what you need to know about Beau: Even though this is a big opportunity for him, he doesn’t care about the fanfare because he’s “all about the music.” To

she’s too consumed with punishing herself to accept his care. We’re supposed to feel sorry for Kelly’s pain, but we end up wanting to slap some sense into her. To give credit where it’s due, the actors have strong singing voices, particularly Paltrow, who makes the most of her solos. But the warbling alone isn’t enough for the movie to work, especially when everything they do when not on stage makes you yearn for the film to be over. Watching “Country Strong” is like spending two hours with odious, superficial people you’d never want to be friends with. I suggest you enthusiastically recommend this mistake of a movie to people you genuinely dislike as a surefire way to have them never speak to you again. Dan Hudak themail@folioweekly.com

Spellchecker

“Season of the Witch” is a decent but hardly magical fantasy romp Season of the Witch **@@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach

he best thing going for “Season of the Witch” is its concept: blending the medieval Crusades with honest-to-God witchcraft. After all, it’s not every day horror fans get to see the forces of evil battling heroes with swords. Stretching the premise even further — nearly paper-thin, in fact — the filmmakers add a dose of “The Exorcist” to the brew in an attempt to cover all the bases and clichés. The result is not totally successful, alas, but it’s a whole lot better than last year’s ridiculous “Legion” in which the Archangel Michael strapped on an impressive array of firepower to battle Gabriel and a bunch of possessed zombies. At the same time, the fact that “Season of the Witch” even calls for such a comparison indicates its basic silliness. The film opens in the 13th century with the gruesome hanging and drowning of three women accused of witchcraft. Though the two younger victims plead for mercy, the sinister older woman warns the priest he will experience hell itself. We’re primed for another film exploiting the hypocrisy of the medieval church but, lo and behold, we discover that one of the women is indeed a witch. The priest was right, for all the good it did him. Jump ahead a century to the Crusades, and we’re treated to a few battles featuring Behman (Nicolas Cage) and Felson (Ron Perlman) at the forefront of the mayhem, two Christian knights dealing doom to the heathens with jolly abandon. Before the charge, they place bets as to who will kill more of the enemy, the loser to buy the winner drinks at the local tavern. In effect, Cage and Perlman are an aging Dynamic Duo, Perlman playing comic sidekick to Cage’s more idealistic warrior — kind of like Gabby Hayes to Roy Rogers or Jason Statham to Sly Stallone in the equally ludicrous “The Expendables.” However, a change of heart after a particularly ugly scene involving an innocent woman on the receiving end of Behman’s sword

sends the knights back to Europe as deserters, disgusted with the brutality perpetrated in the name of God. They find a land devastated by the plague, a curse (they are told) perpetrated by a young witch (Claire Foy). In short order, Behman and Felson are enlisted to escort the girl to a distant monastery where she will be put on trial to determine her guilt. The journey takes the knights and their companions through a nightmare forest right out of Grimm’s fairy tales. Reaching their destination, they’re subjected to an onslaught of CGI demons and undead monks. The only monster missing is Dracula, who would’ve been right at home amid the gloom and gore. Mostly preposterous, “Season of the Witch” does have its moments. Shot mainly This is a copyright protected proof © in the mountains and forests of Hungary, the film looks more haunting and mysterious than itFor actually turns out toplease be, but it’scall nonetheless questions, your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 011111 a visual treat. Equally salutary is the ambiance FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 of the Middle Ages, effectively conveyed by a solid production design as well as theSUPPORT Produced by ks Checked by Sales Rep erin PROMISE OF BENEFIT ASK FOR ACTION extensive locations shots. The central part of the film, detailing the journey, is better than its beginning and concluding sequences, an excellent example of how less can be more. Attention is given to character development during the harrowing trip, and the ambiguity of the girl’s identity is enhanced through several effective incidents. As the witch, Claire Foy is easily the most bewitching character, though her speaking parts are minimal. The other supporting roles are capably handled. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Cage and, to a lesser degree, Perlman. Perhaps they’re victims of the largely nonsensical script, but both actors still seem to play their parts as stereotypes. They are no more believable as guilt-ridden medieval knights than Paul Bettany was as a pistolA D U VAL C O U N TY PU B LI C SCHOOL packing archangel in “Legion.” The best that can be said about director Dominic Sena (“Gone in Sixty Seconds”) is that his movies are never dull. In that regard, at least, “Season of the Witch” is no exception, but Thursday it’s hardly spellbinding.

ADVERTISING PROOF

AUDITIONS

Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com

January 20, 2011 and

Wednesday

January 26, 2011 6pm Grades 9-12 — Intermediate and advanced level performing and visual arts. Dance, Visual Arts, Vocal Music, Instrumental Music, Theatre, Film, Creative Writing For more information and applications, go to…

www.da-arts.org Sons of Anarchy: Ron Perlman and Nicolas Cage go medieval on some evil in “Season of the Witch.”

or call (904) 346-5620, ext. 101

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 23

supporting cast keep this riveting film on its feet, it’s Bale’s knockout turn as strung-out Eklund that leaves us wanting more. THE GREEN HORNET **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. After Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) inherits his late father’s company, he teams up with sidekick Kato (Jay Chou) to put the sting on the crime scene in this big-screen version of the famed comic book superhero. Cameron Diaz, Christopher Waltz and Tom Wilkinson also star in the action flick from director Michel Gondry (“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”). GULLIVER’S TRAVELS *G@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Jack Black stars in this unneeded, bloated and juvenile slaughtering of Jonathan Swift’s classic story about giants and little people that is a massive failure – in 3-D!

“Holy Schnickelfritz, Kato!” Jay Chou and Seth Rogen are heroically kind buds in “The Green Lantern.”

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

FILM RATINGS **** ***@ **@@ *@@@

GREEN LANTERN GREEN EGGS GREENSLEEVES GREEN DAY

NOW SHOWING BLACK SWAN ***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Director Darren Aronofsky’s disturbing psychological thriller stars Natalie Portman as a sheltered ballerina who steps into her darker side during a production of “Swan Lake.” Vincent Cassel, Mila Kunis and Barbara Hershey deliver fine supporting turns in this edgy, weird flick. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER *G@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. This latest adaptation of C.S. Lewis’ fantasy novels is about the voyage of Lucy and Edmund, sailing with Prince

24 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

Caspian to the edge of the world on the royal ship The Dawn Treader. COUNTRY STRONG *G@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Reviewed in this issue. THE DILEMMA **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Director Ron Howard’s return to the big screen stars Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Winona Ryder and Jennifer Connelly in a rom-com about whether or not you should tell your best friend the bad news when you happen to catch his wife in flagrante delicto, i.e., bumpin’ uglies with another dude. THE FIGHTER ***G Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale star as brothers Micky Ward and Dicky Eklund in David Russell’s powerful study of family, addiction and perseverance. While Wahlberg and

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART ONE **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Epic Theatre St. Augustine The latest adventure in the hugely popular series has Harry, Hermione and Ron searching for Horcruxes, pieces of evil Voldemort’s soul that must be destroyed to defeat him. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint and Ralph Fiennes co-star. THE HEART SPECIALIST **@@ Rated R • AMC Regency Square, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Writer-director Dennis Cooper made this dramedy in 2006, but it’s still fresh. Starring Wood Harris, Zoe Saldana and Brian White, it’s about the lives of first-year med students in a rundown South Florida hospital. HOW DO YOU KNOW **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, Cinemark Tinseltown, Hollywood River City, Pot Belly’s, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Pro softballer Lisa (Reese Witherspoon), amid a love triangle, doesn’t know who to play ball with and who to strike out. Writer-director James L. Brooks’ rom-com costars Jack Nicholson, Paul Rudd and Owen Wilson. THE KING’S SPEECH **** Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, 5 Points Theatre, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush deliver Oscar-worthy performances in this uplifting based-on-real-life story of King George VI and his relationship with his speech therapist as His Highness struggles to overcome a stuttering disorder. LITTLE FOCKERS *G@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. When Greg Focker’s (Ben Stiller) father-in-law Jack (Robert De Niro) wants to pick a successor as the new pater familias, he wonders if Greg can cut it. The messy and hopefully last round of the Fockers co-stars Barbra Streisand, Dustin Hoffman, Owen Wilson and Blythe Danner. MADE IN DAGENHAM ***@ Rated R • Regal Beach Blvd. Sally Hawkins, Bob Hoskins and Miranda Richardson star in this true story about a group of women in 1960s England who took a stand against chauvinism in labor practices and social injustice. MESRINE: KILLER INSTINCT; MESRINE: PUBLIC ENEMY

**@@ Rated R • Epic Theatre St. Augustine Vincent Cassell (Black Swan) portrays real-life gangster Jacques Mesrine in this French crime-flick import from director Jean-Francois Richet. Co-starring Gerard Depardieu. The second part, “Public Enemy,” co-stars Ludivine Sagnier. SEASON OF THE WITCH **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Reviewed in this issue. TANGLED **G@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Mandy Moore, Ron Perlman, Laraine Newman and Brad Garrett lend voice to the animated update on Princess Rapunzel and her unruly locks. THE TOURIST ***G Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, Carmike Fleming Island, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie star in a fair-to-middling rom-com/thriller of espionage and mistaken identity in scenic Venice. TRON: LEGACY *G@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Jeff Bridges, Garrett Hedlund and Olivia Wilde star in the sequel to the pioneering 1982 Disney sci-fi flick that does not compute as to plot or substance. TRUE GRIT **** Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, 5 Points Theatre, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., San Marco Theatre The Coen Brothers’ film scores a bullseye reviving an epic Western story of family justice. Their move to follow the storyline of Charles Portis’ novel rather than John Wayne’s ’69 film is seconded with stellar performances by Jeff Bridges, Josh Brolin, Matt Damon and newcomer Hailee Steinfeld, as young Mattie Ross. UNSTOPPABLE **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Regency Square Denzel Washington and Chris Pine are railroaders who must stop a train rigged with explosives. YAMLA PAGLA DEEWANA This film not yet reviewed Not Rated • AMC Regency Square This Bollywood import, with Sunny Deol and Dharmendra, is about a man’s discovery of a father and brother he never knew. YOGI BEAR 3D **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. The lovable ursine gets the 3D and CGI treatment and no picnic basket is safe. When the mayor shuts down Jellystone Park, Yogi (Dan Aykroyd) and Boo Boo (Justin Timberlake) hook up with Ranger Smith (Tom Cavanagh) to keep the park open and save the day!

OTHER FILMS 5 POINTS THEATRE “The King’s Speech” is screened at 4:45, 7 and 9:15 p.m.

on Jan. 18, 19 and 20 at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. 359-0047. POT BELLY’S CINEMA “The Tillman Story,” “Conviction,” “Red,” “How Do You Know” and “Fair Game” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101.

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY THE SOCIAL NETWORK David Fincher directs Jesse Eisenberg, Justin Timberlake and Andrew Garfield in this entertaining and engaging telling of the Facebook phenomenon. ALPHA AND OMEGA The animated family flick tells the story of rival wolves Katy and Humphrey who must join forces to survive when they’re relocated to a strange, new forest. Featuring the voices of Hayden Panettiere, Justin Long and Danny Glover. PIRANHA When an earthquake splits open the floor of Arizona’s Lake Victoria during Spring Break, a school of man-eating fish are set free — and vacationing college kids discover these little fishies crave human flesh! This fun remake of the campy 1978 horror classic features Jerry O’Connell, Elizabeth Shue, Ving Rhames and Richard Dreyfuss. LEPRECHAUN (FOUR DISC SET) The Emerald Isle finally gets its own horror movie monster in a film series now available in one collection — just in time for St. Patrick’s Day! The original 1993 flick, also Jennifer Aniston’s film debut, informed audiences that the best way to distract a homicidal leprechaun is by throwing neglected shoes at him, which he’ll then be forced to repair on sight. Sadly, the three sequels never matched the kitschy brilliance of the original.

RAGING BULL The 30th anniversary two-disc set of director Martin Scorsese’s masterful telling of the rise and fall of temperamental heavyweight boxer Jake LaMotta (Robert De Niro) and his struggle with both family and career is now out on Blu-Ray. Shot in black-and-white, the film features stellar supporting performances by Cathy Moriarty and Joe Pesci which helped De Niro win the Oscar for his knockout portrayal.

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 25

Cop Rock!

Canada’s Tokyo Police Club apprehends the indie scene with some arresting rock TOKYO POLICE CLUB with SOMEONE STILL LOVES YOU and BORIS YELTSIN Saturday, Jan. 29 at 8 p.m. Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville Advance tickets are $15 398-7496

n 2006, Tokyo Police Club released the EP “A Lesson In Crime.” This was the world’s first taste of the Canadian indie rock quartet, featuring then-teenagers David Monks (vocals, bass), Josh Hook (guitar), Graham Wright (keyboards) and Greg Alsop (drums). Those 16 minutes of music garnered an above-average rating from Pitchfork and a gig playing the POP Montreal festival. After the release of its second EP, “Smith EP,” in 2007, Tokyo Police Club stormed onto the festival circuit playing Coachella, Lollapalooza, Bumbershoot and Glastonbury Festival. It was time for a debut album. 2008’s “Elephant Shell” got the boys TV spots on “The Late Show with David Letterman,” “The Late Late Show” with Craig Ferguson and even a cameo on “Desperate Housewives.” The band toured incessantly until taking a break to write a second album. Nearly 26 months later, TPC released “Champ” (June 2010, Mom + Pop Records). Folio Weekly caught up with keyboardist Graham Wright to chat about the new tour, road squalor and big love for man’s best friend.

Folio Weekly: You are about to head out on your second North American tour. How do you think it will differ from the first? Graham Wright: This one is a big co-headline job with Two Door Cinema Club, so we’re playing venues that are substantially bigger than we’re used to, for the most part. Tickets have actually been selling really well, which is awesome because not a lot of tickets are selling really well these days because no one has any money. So it’s exciting! F.W.: Do you get a fancier tour bus this time around? G.W.: I haven’t seen it yet. You never see the tour bus until you get on the tour bus to leave for the tour, but I’m sure it’s nice. They’re

always nice. It’s only when we’re in a van that we have to live in a little bit of squalor, which I love, by the way. It’s fun squalor. F.W.: You’re also a solo artist. I read that your debut full-length album, “Shirts vs. Skins,” was supposed to come out in 2010, but didn’t. What’s going on with that? G.W.: In the States, it will be April. It’s finished. It’s getting mastered this weekend, as a matter of fact. It does exist — I didn’t just make it up. I recorded most of the tracks at a studio in Toronto called Chemical Sound, which is where Tokyo Police Club recorded “Elephant Shell.” I just became friends with the two guys that own it … we had fun working together and so I thought, “Well, let’s just go ahead and continue what we’ve been doing and turn it into making a record and maybe I’ll pay you a little.” F.W.: What was your first concert? G.W.: Radiohead. It was after we graduated from Grade 8 because all of our parents got us the tickets as presents. [Guitarist] Josh [Hook] was there. He was the only other guy in the band that was there. There was maybe five or six of us in total. F.W.: Where does the band’s name come from? G.W.: Honestly, we were in high school and it was lyrics in one of our songs — I have no idea why — and we just thought it would make a good name, so we stuck it on there and just — it’s certainly memorable, if nothing else. F.W.: On your website, there’s a video for “Wait Up (Boots of Danger)” available for download for a donation to ASPCA (The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals). How did that come about? G.W.: We were just making a music video and we liked the idea. The dogs are awesome and everyone loves dogs, so why not? After, I don’t remember who thought up the idea, but someone did, that we tie this in to raise a little bit of money and hopefully awareness for a cause that we all support. Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

Arrested Behavior: Canadian indie rockers Tokyo Police Club. 26 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

Human Graffiti: Legendary punkers NOFX.

A Touch of Aggro

NOFX frontman Fat Mike gives us the skinny on growing old and not selling out NOFX with BOUNCING SOULS, COBRA SKULLS and OLD MAN MARKLEY Tuesday, Jan. 25 at 8 p.m. Maverick’s Rock N’ Honky Tonk Concert Hall The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, Downtown Tickets range from $25-$35 356-1110

aying I was nervous to interview NOFX frontman Fat Mike last week would be an understatement. The San Francisco punk icons maintain a notoriously prickly relationship with the media, shunning most interview requests, denouncing major labels and commercial radio, and preferring to let their fiery brand of old-school skate-punk do the talking. But in recent years, the band has elevated its profile of juvenile booze and dope-addled miscreants, entering the political fray with their Punk Voter organization in the early 2000s and even agreeing to a 2008 “Backstage Passport” reality show on Fuse TV. Folio Weekly woke Fat Mike up at 5 p.m. on a Friday, but the 43-year-old father, avid poker player and Fat Wreck Chords owner still had some choice words for punk rock’s current state, Jacksonville’s redneck underbelly and his controversial alter-ego, “Cokie The Clown.”

Folio Weekly: You just bought a house in Las Vegas, Mike. Are you excited to be living somewhere new? Fat Mike: Well, I’m not living in Vegas. I just bought a vacation home here. It’s actually a super punk house where I can party, all the walls are covered with punk fliers, there’s a pool table and a putting green … It’s like a vacation house for me, but I am going to rent it out for $2,500 a week. F.W.: Your latest release, “The Longest EP,” compiles some of NOFX’s best non-album tracks. Is that a sign that solid old-school punk is back on the rise?

F.M.: That’d be pretty cool if it was. Everyone seems to like the comps we’re doing. Punk rock got real poppy for a while, and it’s kind of coming back to just being punk. F.W.: You had a serious anti-George W. Bush campaign going on in the early 2000s. Is today’s politically charged landscape still motivating you? F.M.: It’s always hard to write songs, even when Bush was in office. But I was only singing a few songs about the guy. I just write about whatever I’m feeling. I’m off the politics right now. F.W.: Give us the lowdown on your controversial “Cokie The Clown” performance last March at SXSW. While you were singing these brutally honest songs about wrestling with your parents’

F.M.: I do the opposite — I can change the set list every night, but I can’t have the list change me. I’m not going do what the crowd says. F*ck that. We give ’em what we give ’em, and they’re gonna love it. F.W.: I hear you pursued the poker thing for a while. Are you still playing regularly? F.M.: Not really. I spent a couple of years playing professionally, but it takes too much time and patience to be good. I’m so busy with other shit in my life that I just play in the occasional tournament now and then. F.W.: As the head of Fat Wreck Chords, do you have any young bands on the program we should be looking out for? F.M.: I just signed Old Man Markley, this bluegrass punk band, and they’re blowing

“We like Florida, but Jacksonville always surprises me because it doesn’t seem like part of Florida. It’s more like part of the Carolinas or Georgia.” deaths, the media focused on the fact that you may or may not have served the audience tequila shots mixed with your own urine. F.M.: I know! It sucks how the tequila thing overshadowed everything else, because the performance was about telling sad stories. If you’re not brutally honest, what are you doing? F.W.: Will we get any of that when you come to Jacksonville in a couple of weeks? F.M.: Hmmm … we like Florida, but Jacksonville always surprises me because it doesn’t seem like part of Florida. It’s more like part of the Carolinas or Georgia. It’s really f*cking redneck there. All the mega-churches can’t be good. F.W.: A lot of older bands are letting the fans pick the set list these days. Any chance of that happening ?

everyone away. Make sure you get to the show early, because they’re really cool. Kind of like a U.S. version of Flogging Molly. F.W.: Do you advise a band like that to follow NOFX’s lead, doing things strictly the DIY way? F.M.: You know what? I don’t think there’s any way to do it anymore. [Laughs.] Just do it because you love it. Great bands will get lucky sometimes, but it’s not about success — it’s about making music. F.W.: Did you ever think NOFX would last this long? F.M.: No f*cking way. We never thought about anything like that. We just thought, “This is pretty fun, let’s keep doing it.” Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 27

Sing Out! Yo La Tengo (James McNew, Georgia Hubley and Ira Kaplan) surrender to their calling as the new Kingston Trio.

YO LA TENGO with WILLIAM TYLER Wednesday, Jan. 26 at 8 p.m. Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach Advance tickets are $17 246-2473

F.W.: Many bands play only their own material, while Yo La Tengo has always embraced cover songs. What’s the story? I.K.: Playing covers has always appealed to me. A long time ago, we rejected the

“We’re pretty old-fashioned in that regard — we create music, we go on tour and, yes, there’s a Yo La Tengo Twitter feed and a website, but I don’t feel like we’ve ever been near the forefront of new media.”

oboken, N.J., trio Yo La Tengo formed in 1984, when the prospect of indie rock stardom was nothing more than a pipe dream. But singer-guitarist Ira Kaplan, his wife, drummer-vocalist Georgia Hubley, and longtime third-wheel bassist-vocalist James McNew persevered, releasing 12 critically acclaimed albums, dabbling successfully in soundtrack and side-project work and maintaining an endearing, intelligent sense of self-deprecating humor. Yo La Tengo (Spanish for “I’ve got it”) is currently on a buzz-generating concept tour that Pitchfork calls “appealingly goofy.” Eternally nice guy Kaplan took a break from shoveling snow during last week’s Northeast blizzard to chat with Folio Weekly about the band’s wheelspinning winter tour, his eternal love of cover songs and the challenges of performing in Florida.

28 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

Folio Weekly: On your upcoming tour, a spinning will determine the content of the show’s first half — could be songs by your alter ego Condo F*cks, could be sitcom skits, could be selections from your soundtrack for Jean Painlevé’s “The Sounds of Science.” Please explain. Ira Kaplan: Well, we didn’t really want to do a Condo F*cks tour, but we liked the idea of maybe playing those songs. Same with the soundtrack — we like that material, and it hit us that [the wheel] would hopefully incorporate those things into the live show in an entertaining way.

idea that writing a song equals originality — and that covering a song equals a lack of originality. I think there are plenty of examples out there to demonstrate both sides of that. F.W.: You started doing soundtrack work in the early 2000s. Did that lead to more complex instrumentation on your own albums? I.K.: You asked about cover songs before, and another thing I like about them is they’re like trying on a hat. It gives you a way into certain styles, certain ways of approaching music, and the soundtracks were similar. Talking about a movie with the director or thinking about music in the context of whatever movie we were working on led us to do things we might not have done.

F.W.: On Yo La Tengo’s first album, you were credited for playing “naïve guitar,” but today, many critics consider you an underground six-string hero. How do you view yourself? I.K.: [Laughs.] I think of myself primarily as a member of Yo La Tengo. I like playing guitar; there are things I’m decent at, and there are things I can’t do at all. I would say the same about my singing. I don’t feel like I’m much of a craftsman at any of them. F.W.: How do you view the digital revolution: a challenge to overcome or an opportunity for the band to reach new audiences? I.K.: Obviously, the music business has changed dramatically, but I don’t know how much time we’ve spent trying to exploit the means of reaching an audience. We’re pretty old-fashioned in that regard — we create music, we go on tour and, yes, there’s a Yo La Tengo Twitter feed and a website, but I don’t feel like we’ve ever been near the forefront of new media. [Laughs.] F.W.: A lot of bands don’t even bother touring in Florida, but you’ve always shown the Sunshine State plenty of love. I.K.: We have, but I must confess that we have to lump ourselves in with that description. Florida definitely becomes something of an afterthought, which I think has more to do with its geography. For a band like ours, which has the opportunity to play all over the world, there’s always something that’s gotta give — and when a state extends for hundreds of miles into the water, that’s a prime candidate to give. But we’ve always had good shows in Florida, going all the way back in Jacksonville to Einstein A Go Go on the beach. Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com

Restaurant, 2107 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. 396-9922. MIDDLE RHYTHM SESSION The Tampa-based jam band plays at 8 p.m. on Jan. 21 at Dog LOVESICK RADIO, THE SILENT SCENE, THE Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. SUMMER SOUNDTRACK ZOOGMA, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE The modern rock wafts at 8 p.m. on Jan. 18 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 These jam bands jam at 8 p.m. on Jan. 21 at Jack Rabbits, Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496. 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. GALACTIC 398-7496. This funky jam band, with Living Colour vocalist Corey Glover, REEL BIG FISH, THE AQUABATS, SUBURBAN LEGENDS, performs at 8 p.m. on Jan. 19 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., KOO KOO KANGA ROO Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $20. 246-2473. The ska and punk rascals play at 8 p.m. on Jan. 21 at Freebird SOCIETYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S PLAGUE, UP IN ARMS Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $22. These thrash and heavy rockers play at 7 p.m. on Jan. 20 at 246-2473. Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are THE SUNSHINE FACTORY $10. 223-9850. The shoegazer band performs at 9 p.m. on Jan. 21 at CafĂŠ 331, HUMAN NATURE 331 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Admission is $5. 354-1999. The Australian vocal combo sings Motown favorites at 8 p.m. on TITANIC, INSIDE THE TARGET CAR, WATERSHIP DOWN, Jan. 20 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. SLIGHT OF MIND, CIARAN SONTAG, IN TOO DEEP, DANCELL Tickets are $35 and $40. 355-2787. This night of local punk starts at 6 p.m. on Jan. 22 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s AMERICAN AQUARIUM, CROWFIELD Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. Roots rockers American Aquarium perform at 8 p.m. on Jan. 20 THE PLATTERS, DRIFTERS, COASTERS & at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance TEMPTATIONS SALUTE tickets are $8. 398-7496. This soul and R&B revue, featuring The Plattersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Myles Savage, THURSDAY NIGHT BATTLE OF THE BANDS is held at 7 p.m. on Jan. 22 at Old Florida Museum, 259 San Local bands compete for studio time and bragging rights at 8 Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $40. 824-8874. p.m. on Jan. 20 at Scarlett Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Haraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 70 Hypolita St., St. AugusKENNY LOGGINS tine. The competition is held every Thur. in Jan. 824-6535. Classic pop-rock legend Loggins performs at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. LESS THAN JAKE, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS, GO RYDELL, 22 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Drive, GENERAL TSOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FURY Orange Park. Tickets range from $58-$78. 276-6750. TheFor punk questions, rock hijinks start at 8please p.m. on Jan.call 20 at your Freebird advertising Live, THE FRITZ representative at 260-9770. 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $15. 246-2473. The local jam-band performs at 8 p.m. on Jan. 22 at Dog Star FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 JIM HURST Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. This singer-songwriter performs at 8 p.m. on Jan. 20 at EuroTRANSPOSE, THE SECOND JOURNEY, CRIMSON CITY PROMISE BENEFIT SUPPORT ASKJUNIOR FOR DOCTOR ACTION Produced pean Street CafĂŠ, 1704 SanOF Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance ROMANCE, K.A.R.L., tickets are $11. 399-1740. The local rock kicks off at 8 p.m. on Jan. 22 at Jack Rabbits, JOSH GRACIN 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. The ex-â&#x20AC;&#x153;American Idolâ&#x20AC;? contestant and contemporary country 398-7496. artist performs at 6 p.m. on Jan. 21 at Maverickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rock Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; HOLOPAW, WITCHES, SOLID PONY Honky Tonk Concert Hall, 2 Independent Drive, Jacksonville. The primo indie rock starts at 8 p.m. on Jan. 22 at The Club Tickets are $10 and $15. 356-1110. Formerly Known as CafĂŠ Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd. S., St. REBECCA DAY Augustine Beach. Admission is $7. 460-9311. Singer-songwriter Day performs at 7 p.m. on Jan. 21 at The JAMIE DEFRATES & SUSAN BROWN Grape, 10281 Midtown Parkway, Jacksonville. 642-7111. These singer-songwriters perform at 8 p.m. on Jan. 22 at MONICA DA SILVA, CHAD ALGER European Street CafĂŠ, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance This pair plays bossa nova at 7 p.m. on Jan. 21 at Matthewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tickets are $11. 399-1740.

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

FRONTIERS (JOURNEY TRIBUTE), DAN READING BAND This night of Steve Perry and Neil Schon-based genuflection starts at 8 p.m. on Jan. 22 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $10. 246-2473. WAYNE JOHNSTON BLUES BAND The blues break at 8:30 p.m. on Jan. 22 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. (386) 325-5454. NONPOINT, STRAIGHT LINE STITCH, MINDSLIP, THE LAWLESS HEARTS, CONDEMN THE INFECTION Heavy-hitters Nonpoint perform at 6 p.m. on Jan. 23 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $12. 223-9850. DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS, THE FUTUREBIRDS Southern rockers Drive-By Truckers play at 8 p.m. on Jan. 23 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $20. 246-2473. WE CAME AS ROMANS, FOR TODAY, THE WORD ALIVE, WOE IS ME, TEXAS IN JULY, LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES The emo and punk start at 8 p.m. on Jan. 24 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $15. 246-2473. PAUL KRAMER & SWING STREET This acoustic Americana and jazz group performs at 8 p.m. on Jan. 24 at European Street CafĂŠ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $11. 399-1740. THE BASTARD SUNS, THE ROMMELS Atlanta punks The Bastard Suns play at 8 p.m. on Jan. 25 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496. ROBIN STINE AND FRIENDS 062210 RUN DATE: This night of original music kicks off at 8 p.m. on Jan. 25 at European Street CafĂŠ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $11. 399-1740. NOFX, BOUNCING SOULS, COBRA SKULLS, OLD by Checked by ___ Sales Rep rm MAN_jw MARKLEY Legendary punks NOFX play at 8 p.m. on Jan. 25 at Maverickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rock Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Honky Tonk Concert Hall, 2 Independent Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets range from $25-$35. 356-1110.

ADVERTISING PROOF This is a copyright protected proof ÂŠ

UPCOMING CONCERTS BARRY MANILOW Jan. 26, Veterans Memorial Arena YO LA TENGO Jan. 26, Freebird Live GEORGE STRAIT, REBA McINTIRE, LEE ANN WOMACK Jan. 28, Veterans Memorial Arena

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GALACTIC

featuring Corey Glover (Living Colour) & Corey Henry (Rebirth Brass Band) THURSDAY JANUARY 20

LESS THAN JAKE Off With Their Heads â&#x20AC;˘ Go Rydell â&#x20AC;˘ General Tsoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fury

FRIDAY JANUARY 21

REEL BIG FISH THE AQUABATS

Suburban Legends * Koo Koo Kanga Roo SATURDAY JANUARY 22

FREEBIRD FRONTIERS (Journey Tribute)

Dan Reading Band SUNDAY JANUARY 23

DRIVE BY TRUCKERS Futurebirds MONDAY JANUARY 24

Motel 6 Rock Yourself to Sleep Tour

WE CAME AS ROMANS/FOR TODAY The Word Alive/Woe is Me/Texas in July/ Like Moths to Flames WEDNESDAY JANUARY 26

YO LA TENGO William Tyler (of Lambchop)

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Join us for the music of

JOHN MICHAEL in the piano lounge

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Texas Hold â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Em STARTS AT 7 P.M.

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Watch the NFL Conference Championships Gameday Specials

FRIDAY JANUARY 28

Quasi Mojo/the Blackouts SATURDAY JANUARY 29

Spider Monkey/Hornit THURSDAY FEBRUARY 3

YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND FRIDAY FEBRUARY 4

PANTyRAiD Monozygotic

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 5

Glorious Gunner CD Release Party UPCOMING SHOWS 2-8: Down Theory CD Release Party 2-9: Dark Star Orchestra 2-12: Dreamer/Ten West/Mike Bernos Band 2-16: Iration/Ballyhoo/Fiction 20 Down 2-18: Johnny Winter/Pepper Drive 2-19: Yancy Clegg Band/Chuck Nash Band 2-25: The Expendables 2-27: Old 97â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s/Those Darlins 3-2: As I Lay Dying/Wings of Plague 3-10: G-Love & Special Sauce 3-11: Streetlight Manifesto 3-12: The Ready Set/Downtown Fiction 3-19: Badfish (Sublime Tribute)/Scotty Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t 4-14: Forever the Sickest Kids/Breathe Carolina

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 29

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FEEDING FINGERS, DAKHEAD, EARTH EMPIRE, SMILE 8 Jan. 28, Club TSI TAPROOT, MANNA ZEN, MARION CRANE, BLEEDING IN STEREO Jan. 28, Brewster’s Pit SPIDER MONKEY, HORNIT, WELL TRAINED DOG Jan. 29, Freebird Live BILL & KATE ISLES Jan. 29, European Street Café BIZZY BONE Jan. 29, Brewster’s Pit FUSEBOX FUNK, LADY DAISEY Jan. 29, Mojo Kitchen MERLE HAGGARD, NOEL LEE HAGGARD, THE MALPASS BROTHERS Jan. 30, The Florida Theatre JEN AND BILLY, FRICTION FARM Feb. 3, European Street Café JOHN PIZZARELLI Feb. 3, UNF Robinson Theater YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND Feb. 3, Freebird Live ERIC LINDELL Feb. 3, Mojo Kitchen PANTYRAID Feb. 4, Freebird Live GLORIOUS GUNNER CD Release Party Feb. 5, Freebird Live KATIE GRACE HELOW, YO SOYBEAN Feb. 5, Shantytown Pub SECRETS SHE KEPT, PRODUCT OF TREASON, GENERICHRIST, DEVOUR THE DEAD, VOMIKAUST Feb. 5, Brewster’s Pit ICARUS OWL Feb. 6, Brewster’s Pit DOWN THEORY Feb. 8, Freebird Live COLT FORD Feb. 9, Whisky River ABBA: THE CONCERT Feb. 9, The Florida Theatre DARK STAR ORCHESTRA Feb. 9, Freebird Live MAD AGNES Feb. 10, European Street Café SOULIDIUM Feb. 11, Brewster’s Pit WILL PEARSALL Feb. 12, Ragtime Tavern TANNAHILL WEAVERS Feb. 12, European Street Café BOBOFLEX, ROYAL BLISS Feb. 12, Brewster’s Pit FRANKIE VALLI Feb. 13, T-U Center GREAT BIG SEA Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AMY W. GRANT & MICHAEL W. SMITH Feb. 16, The Florida Theatre IRATION, BALLYHOO, FICTION 20 DOWN LYNDSAY PRUETT, GALEN KIPAR Feb. 17, European Street Café LEON REDBONE Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOHNNY WINTER, PEPPERDRIVE Feb. 18, Freebird Live SPECIAL CONSENSUS Feb. 18, European Street Café HAULOVER DRIVE Feb. 20, Brewster’s Pit THE B-52s Feb. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall OZZY OSBOURNE, SLASH Feb. 22, Veterans Memorial Arena LEON RUSSELL Feb. 23, The Florida Theatre TRAVIS TRITT Feb. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

Concert Hall BUSKIN & BATTEU, CASTLEBAY Feb. 24, European ONE NIGHT OF QUEEN May 3, The Florida Theatre Street Café DEFTONES May 20, Brewster’s Pit DAVID GARRETT Feb. 24, The Florida Theatre KEITH URBAN June 17, Veterans Memorial Arena LUBRIPHONIC Feb. 25, Fly’s Tie Irish Pub THE EXPENDABLES Feb. 25, Freebird Live SALT-N-PEPA’S Legends of Hip Hop with KURTIS BLOW, WHODINI Feb. 25, Veterans Memorial Arena ARTURO SANDOVAL Feb. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH GREAT GUITAR GATHERING Feb. 25, The Florida Theatre WILSON FAMILY BAND Feb. 26, European Street Café BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech St., 277-3662 John JOHNNY MATHIS Feb. 26, T-U Center Springer every Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph HOT TUNA, CHARLIE MUSSLEWHITE, JIM LAUDERDALE every Sun. Feb. 27, The Florida Theatre DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 The Middle OLD 97’s, THOSE DARLINS Feb. 27, Freebird Live Rhythm Session on Jan. 21. The Fritz on Jan. 22 AS I LAY DYING, WINGS OF PLAGUE March 2, Freebird Live GENNARO’S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., TY SEGALL, THE COUGS, ALLIGATOR March 2, Ring of Fire 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. RICHARD SMITH, JULIE ADAMS March 3, European GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll Street Café from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend GRACE POTTER & THE NOCTURNALS, CHAMBERLIN March INDIGO ALLEY, 316 Centre St., 261-7222 Dan Voll & the Alley 3, The Florida Theatre Cats from 8 p.m.-mid. every Sat. Frankie’s Jazz Jam at 7:30 DIANA ROSS March 4, T-U Center p.m. every Tue. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Thur. Live music every SLIGHTLY STOOPID, FISHBONE March 5, Plush Fri. & Sat. JOHN MELLENCAMP March 5, T-U Center O’KANE’S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll KID ROCK, JAMEY JOHNSON March 9, Veterans Memorial Arena from 7:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. The Turner London Band at G-LOVE AND SPECIAL SAUCE March 10, Freebird Live 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DUM DUM GIRLS, READING RAINBOW, DIRTY BEACHES THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELD’S, 117 Centre St., March 11, Jack Rabbits STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO March 11, Freebird Live 491-3332 Wes Cobb every Wed. DJ Anonymous in Sheffield’s SUGARLAND March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez every THE READY SET, DOWNTOWN FICTION March 12, Freebird Live Fri. Jason Buck Smith every Sun., Pili Pili every Mon. REBELUTION, JUNIOR REID, GIANT PANDA GUERILLA DUB PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, SQUAD March 13, Plush 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SADPLANT March 13, Brewster’s Pit SEABREEZE SPORTS BAR, 2707 Sadler Rd., 277-2300 BADFISH March 19, Freebird Live Karaoke with Daddy’O every Wed. DJ Roc at 9 p.m. every Fri., JAMES TAYLOR, BEN TAYLOR March 22, T-U Center 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. MIKE WATT & THE MISSINGMEN March 24, Jack Rabbits SLIDER’S SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6990 RICHARD STOLTZMAN, DAVID STEINMEYER March 25, UNF Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. Robinson Theater THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Live music every INDORPHINE MarchOF 26, Brewster’s Wed.ACTION Produced PROMISE BENEFITPit SUPPORTnight. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. ASKevery FOR CITIZEN COPE March 27, The Florida Theatre ARLINGTON, REGENCY PUNCH BROTHERS featuring CHRIS THILE April 1, The Florida Theatre AJ’S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 JOHN CLAYTON, JEFF CLAYTON, JEFF HAMILTON April 6, DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. UNF Robinson Theater Karaoke every Thur. THE UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE April 23, Ponte Vedra

• CLUBS •

AVONDALE, ORTEGA BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush Doctors every 1st Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins ’80s & ’90s vintage every Fri. DJ Dave Berg spins dance every Sat. DJ Alex pagan spins goth industrial & dark wave every Sun. ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, R&B, funk, soul & old-school every Livingroom Thur. Live music every weekend. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every 1st & 4th Sat.; live music every 2nd & 3rd Sat. Patrick Evan & Co-Alition every Industry Sun. TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat.

BAYMEADOWS ADVERTISING PROOF

THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., This is a copyright protected proof © 642-7600 DJ Jose spins Latino & house every Thur. DJ Alen spins house, dance, trance & tribal at 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. DJ Ted Lane spins house & trance every Sat. MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Tue. & Wed. OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 DJs Mike Bend spinby every Feel Good Fri. by Stan aband Checked Sales Rep dl TERA NOVA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 733-8085 DJ Jose de la Soul spins salsa, hustle and freestyle every Latin Thur. DJs spin hip hop every Fri. DJs Leland & Marc-E-Marc spin top 40 & house every Evolution Sat. DJ Leland McWilliams spins for South Beach Friday every 2nd Fri. Reggae Fanatic is held every 3rd Fri.

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 011811 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

San Marco : Thurs. Jan 20

• Jim Hurst

Mon. Jan 24

ROADHOUSE

• Paul Kramer EURO STREET& Swing Street

TUES:

Happy Hour all night for the ladies.

WED:

$2.50 Domestics

THURS:

$3.50 Select Micro Brew All Night

FRI/SAT:

$5 Dirty Nellies (Long Island Iced Tea)

SUN & MON:

Service Industry Night! Happy Hour all day for ALL!

Try our NEW Lunch & Dinner Menu!

30 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. PLUSH, RAIN, LEOPARD LOUNGE, 845 University Blvd. N., 745-1845 DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin Latin every Fri.; house & techno in Z-Bar every Fri. THE SMOKIN’ BEAVER, 5863 Arlington Rd., 744-5132 Live music every Tue., Fri. & Sat.

Tue. Jan 25

• Robin Stine & Friends

Beach Blvd. : at University

Sat. Jan 22

• Jamie Defrates • Susan Brown

Jan. 22. Mark Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Quinn every Wed. Live music every Fri. & Sat. CASA MARINA, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 The Johnston Duo at 6:30 p.m. every Tue. in the penthouse & at 6:30 p.m. every Wed. in the courtyard CULHANEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Jennâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tribute to Jazz at 7 p.m. on Jan. 18. Boogie Freaks Ultimate Disco Party at 9 p.m. on Jan. 21. Johnston Duo at 6:30 pm. on Jan. 22. Michael Funge at 6:30 p.m. on Jan. 23. Just Jazz Quintet at 7 p.m. on Jan. 25. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337 Live music every Thur. Too Rolling Droned: Alabama-based shoegazer band The Sunshine Factory EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach performs on Jan. 21 at 9 p.m. at CafĂŠ 331, 331 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Blvd., 249-3001 Acoustic open mic Admission is $5. 354-1999. with John Longbottom from 6-9 p.m. every Tue. FIONN MACCOOLâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 333 BEACHES First St. N., 242-9499 Live music every Tue.-Sun. (In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) THE FISH COMPANY, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach, 246-0123 Lou Parisi from 6-9 p.m. every Tue. THE ATLANTIC, 333 N. First St., 249-3338 The Infader spins FLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, every Wed. DJ Wes Reed spins every Thur. DJ Jade spins old 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live wave & â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s retro, SilverStar spins hip hop every Fri. DJ Wes music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. Reed spins â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, old school, remixes & mashups, Capone spins FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Galactic, Corey top 40 & dance faves every Sat. Glover and Corey Henrey on Jan. 19. Less Than Jake, Off With BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt Their Heads, Go Rydell and General Tsoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fury on Jan. 20. Reel Big Lanham sings classical island music every Fri.-Sun. Fish, The Aquabats, Suburban Legends and Koo Koo Kanga Roo on BILLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Live Jan. 21. Frontiers (Journey tribute) and Dan Reading Band on Jan. music every weekend 22. Drive-By Truckers and Futurebirds on Jan. 23. We Came As THE BRASSERIE, 1312 Beach Blvd., 249-5800 Live music Romans, For Today, The Word Alive, Woe Is Me, Texas In July and every Wed. & Thur. Like Moths on Jan. 24. Yo La Tengo and William Tyler on Jan. 26 BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 DJ ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, Anonymous every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Live music every Wed. DJ 372-0943 Live music from 9:30 p.m.-1:30 a.m. every Fri. & Sat. IBay every Fri. & Sat. Charlie Walker every Sun. LILLIEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, BUKKETS GRILL & BAR, 222 N. Oceanfront, 246-7701 Open 249-2922 Live music every Fri. mic every Tues. Live music every Thur. DJ Icon spins every Fri. & LYNCHâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Grandpaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sat. Nate Holley at 10 p.m. every Fri., Sat. & Sun. Cough Medicine on Jan. 21 & 22. Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. CARIBBEE KEY, 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach, 270-8940 every Tue. Nate Holley Band every Wed. The John Earle Band at Alex Seier on Jan. 20. Lift on Jan. 21. Peter Dearing Band on 10:30 p.m. every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Video DJ and

Karaoke every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 Bread & Butter on Jan. 19. Three the Band on Jan. 20. Brian Ernst on Jan. 21. John Earle Band on Jan. 22. Ivey Brothers on Jan. 26. Live music every weekend MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 UNF Jazz at 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford and Rick Johnston at 6 p.m. every Thur. MIMIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SPORTS GRILLE, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 270-1030 DJ Dennis Hubbell spins & hosts Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. & Fri. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Fusebox Funk and Lady Daisey at 10 p.m. on Jan. 29 MONKEYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S UNCLE TAVERN & LIQUOR STORE, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Domenic Patruno at 10 p.m. every Tue. Little Green Men Duo at 10 p.m. every Thur. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon. & Fri. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for Karaoke every Wed., Sat. & Sun. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Strings Aâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Fire Trio on Jan. 21. Class Act on Jan. 22. Strings Aâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Fire flamenco guitar duo Francisco & Javier at 8 p.m. every Thur. Strings Aâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Fire quartet every Fri. Class Act every Sat. PACOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MEXICAN GRILL, 333 N. First St., 208-5097 Live music at 9 p.m. every Thur. PHILLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FINEST, 1527 N. Third St., 241-7188 Ian & Steve (Hello Danger) every Fri. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Billy Bowers on Jan. 19. Midlife Crisis on Jan. 20. Freudian Slip on Jan. 21 & 22. Bread & Butter on Jan. 23. Live music on Fri. & Sat. RITZ COCKTAIL LOUNGE & PACKAGE, 139 Third Ave. N., 246-2255 DJ Jenn Azana every Wed.-Sat. DJ Ibay every Sun. STICKY FINGERS, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7427 Live music 3-7 p.m. every Sun. SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 Buck Smith on Jan. 19. Rick Arcusa Duo on Jan. 20. Blistur on Jan. 21 & 22. Wes Cobb on Jan. 23. Dan Evans on Jan. 24 THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

DOWNTOWN CAFE 331, 331 W. Forsyth St., 354-1999 The Sunshine

Factory at 9 p.m. on Jan. 21. Acoustic open mic 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Tue. Live music 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Wed. & Fri. Factory Jaxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s goth-industrial 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. Underground 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Mon. CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz spins Motown, old school, hip hop & R&B jams every Wine Down Wed. Live music every Thur. Smooth Jazz Lunch at 11 a.m., Latin music at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Skool every last Fri. A DJ spins classic R&B, hip hop & dance every Saturdaze. Live reggae & DJs spin island music every Sun. Joel Crutchfield for open mic every Mon. Live music every Tues. DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 DJ NickFresh spins every Tue. Indie Lounge. DJ SuZi-Rok spins every Thigh-High Thur. DJ Trim spins top 40, dance & rock every Fri. DJ Shanghai spins top 40, dance & rock every Sat. THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. MARKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Massive spins top 40 & dance every Velvet Fri. DJ Shotgun spins top 40 & dance every BayStreet Sat. MAVERICKS ROCK Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;HONKY TONK, The Jacksonville Landing, 356-1110 Josh Gracin at 6 p.m. on Jan. 21. NOFX, Bouncing Souls, Cobra Skulls and Old Man Markley at 8 p.m. on Jan. 25. Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. DJ Rob ATrain spins country rock every Fri. Saddle Up every Sat. NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Sat. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. POPPY LOVE SMOKE, 112 E. Adams St., 354-1988 Lil John Lumpkin, Stefano Di Bella & Lawrence Buckner every Wed. & Fri. Open mic every 2nd & 4th Sun. ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Eric Carter and DJ Al Pete every Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND ALLSTARS SPORTS BAR, 2223 C.R. 220, 264-3322 DG BG Wed., Fri. & Sat. Dave Massey every Thur. & Sun. Open mic every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 John Earle on Jan. 19 & 26. Nate Holley on Jan. 22. Service Industry nite every Tue. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

TUE 1/18 Team Trivia

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THURS 1/20 Rick Arcusa Duo FRI 1/21 + SAT 1/22 Blistur SUN 1/23 Wes Cobb

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MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. ROCKIN RODZ, 2574 C.R. 220, 276-2000 David Milam from 7-10 p.m. every Thur. & Fri. Live music every Thur.-Sat. Talent Nite every Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Live country music on Jan. 20. Neil Champagne at 5 p.m., X-Hale at 9:30 p.m. on Jan. 21. Mr. & Mrs. Smith at 5 p.m., X-Hale at 9:30 p.m. on Jan. 22. Salt & Pepper at 4 p.m. on Jan. 23. Live music every Thur. Live music on the deck at 5 p.m. every Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

MELLOW

BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Society’s Plague and Up In Arms at 7 p.m. on Jan. 20. Titanic, Inside The Target Car, Watership Down, Slight Of Mind, Ciaran Sontag, In Too Deep and Dancell at 6 p.m. on Jan. 22. Nonpoint, Straight Line Stitch, Mindslip, The Lawless Hearts and Condemn The Infection at 6 p.m. on Jan. 23 BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Throwback Tue. features ’70s, ’80s & top 40. Open mic with CBH every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal every Thur. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon. BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. Brucci’s Live with Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Mon. CLIFF’S BAR & GRILLE, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Blistur on Jan. 20. Rosco Caine on Jan. 21 & 22. Karaoke every Tue. DJ Kevin for ladies nite every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Jack at 9 p.m. every Sun. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Live music outside for Bike Night every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. YOUR PLACE BAR & GRILL, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 Evan Michael Chuck Nash every Tue. Simply Righteous every Wed.

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS COUNTY HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN

PALATKA

AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry and John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Sat. CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. MIZU SUSHI & GRILL, 14965 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0889 Stu Weaver at 5:30 p.m. every Fri. THE NEW ORLEANS CAFE, 12760 San Jose Blvd., 880-5155 Jazz on the Deck 7-10 p.m. with Sleepy’s Connection every Tue. Open mic with Biker Bob at 7:30 p.m. every Thur. Les B. Fine at 1 p.m. every Reggae Sun. Creekside Songwriters Showcase at 7 p.m. on the last Wed. each month RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Craig Hand every Sat. Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SMITTY’S INTERNET BAR, 3353 Kori Rd., 683-0388 Jukebox Karaoke at 5 p.m. every Sun. SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. THE TREE STEAKHOUSE, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006 The Boril Ivanov Biva Jazz Band from 7-9 p.m. every Thur. David Gum at the piano bar from 7-10 p.m. every Fri.

DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka, (386) 325-5454 Wayne Johnston Blues Band at 8:30 p.m. on Jan. 22. Live music at 6 p.m. every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Fri. Saturday Night Blues at 8:30 p.m. every Sat. Blues jams at 2 p.m. every Sun.

AQUA GRILL, 950 Sawgrass Village Dr., 285-3017 Brian Green Duo at 3 p.m. every Sun. on the deck KARMA, 822 A1A N., 834-3942 Ace Winn at 6 p.m. on Jan. 21. Just Friends at 6 p.m. on Jan. 22 NINETEEN AT SAWGRASS, 110 Championship Way, 273-3235 Time2Swing at 6 p.m. every Jazz Thur. Strings of Fire from 6-9 p.m. every Sat. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766 Murray Goff from 7-11 p.m. on Jan. 21. Jason Smith from 8 p.m.-mid. on Jan. 22. Live music every Thur.-Sun. URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 High Tides of Jazz at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 20. Morirai Vibe on Jan. 21. Darren Corlew Band on Jan. 22. Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Deron Baker every Wed.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Karaoke every Fri. & Sat. CRAZY HORSE, 1565 Wells Rd., 269-3969 El Pardino spins salsa, merengue, bachatta, freestyle & disco every Tropical Thur. VJ Makerz Mark spins top 40, dance, freestyle & reggaeton every Thur. in Club Energy THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 The Whey on Jan. 20. Yankee Slickers on Jan. 21 & 22. Buck Smith Project every Mon. DJ Waldo every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar every Wed. SENOR WINGS, 700 Blanding Blvd., 375-0746 DJ Andy spins for Karaoke every Wed. DJ Tammy spins for Karaoke every Fri. Live music every Sat. DJ spins for every Mon. S.I. nite

BIRDIE’S CAFE, 1044 Park St., 329-3374 Rotating bands and DJs every Fri. DJ Tom Pennington every Sat. BOX SEATS ON BLANDING, 4329 Blanding Blvd., 908-7328 Live music every Fri. & Sat. FATKAT NIGHT CLUB, 1187 S. Edgewood Ave., 994-5201 Waylay plays every ladies nite Thur. Live music and DJ Lavo spinning hip hop, rock, reggae, punk & breaks in front room; Caden spins house, techno, breaks, drum & bass at 9 p.m. every Flashback Fri. HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Dave Massey every Tue. Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 DJ Dots every Tue. ladies nite. Reggae with Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Therapy every Fri. DJ Christian every Sat. DJ Spencer every Lodge Axe Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon.

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Montage features electro, dance & indie every Mon. KINGFISH GRILL, 252 Yacht Club Dr., 824-2111 Live music every Fri. & Sat. KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur. KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. LOCAL HEROES CAFE, 11 Spanish St., 825-0060 Glam punk rock dance party Radio Hot Elf with DJ Dylan Nirvana from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 540-2824 Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 Live music every Fri. & Sat. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Amy Hendrickson every Sun. & Wed. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING Don’t nobody worry ’bout him, he’s all right! Legendary singer-songwriter ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., Kenny Loggins performs on Jan. 22 at 7:30 p.m. at Thrasher-Horne Center 829-2329 Grant Peeples on Jan. 21 & for the Arts, 283 College Drive, Orange Park. The Grammy-winning songwriter 22. Katherine Archer at 1 p.m. on Jan. penned such soft rock hits as “This Is It,” “Footloose” and “What A Fool 23. Will Pearsall every Mon. Vinny Jacobs Believes.” Tickets range from $58-$78. 276-6750. every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones at 9 p.m. every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur. METRO, 2929 Plum St., 388-8719 DJ Chadpole every College THE OASIS, 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., 471-3424 Those Nite Fri. & every Sat. DJ Rico every 2nd & 4th Fri. Karaoke with Guys every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chris C4Mann KJ Rob every Sun., Mon. & Tue., 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Mon. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ, 4838 Highway Ave., O.C. WHITES, 118 Avenida Menendez, 824-0808 Mike 389-5551 Bluegrass Nite every Fri. Howard every Mon. & Tue. Rob Peck every Wed. Gary Campbell THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., every Fri. & Sat. Scott Sweat every Sun. 388-7807 Queen’s Club, Poema, Operatio, Quiet Science and A PANAMA HATTIE’S, 361 A1A Beach Blvd., 471-2192 Live Call for Kylie at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 22. Coming This Fall, Ocean jazz at 5 p.m. every Thur. DJ Gibz at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Is Theory, Embracing Goodbye, Luminesce and I Drive a Station Live music at 10 p.m. every Sat. Kenyon Dye piano bar at 6 Wagon on Jan. 28 p.m. every Mon. WALKERS, 2692 Post St., 894-7465 Jax Arts Collaborative RHETT’S PIANO BAR & BRASSERIE, 66 Hypolita St., every Tue. Patrick and Burt every Wed. DJ Jeremiah at 9 p.m. 825-0502 Lisa Kelly & Jeff Phillips at 9 p.m. on Jan. 21 & 28. every Thur. Acoustic every Thur.-Sat. Dr. Bill & His Solo Practice Live jazz at 7 p.m. every night of Music at 5 p.m. every Fri. SANGRIAS PIANO BAR, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Sammy every Tue. Acoustic Soul Searchers every Wed. Jim Asalta every ST. AUGUSTINE Thur. Jazz trios every Fri. The Housecats every Sat. Sunny & the (In St. Augustine unless otherwise noted) Flashbacks rotate with Soulo every Sun. SANTA MARIA, 135 Avenida Menendez, 829-6578 The A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Deron Baker on Jan. Wobbly Toms at 9:30 p.m. on Jan. 28 20. The Mix on Jan. 21 & 22 SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Battle of AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Gary the Bands at 8 p.m. every Thur. DJ Echo hosts Karaoke every Wingard every Thur. Mon. Amy Hendrickson and Battle of the Bands every Thur. ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Open mic with THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Live music Smokin Joe from 7-10 p.m. on Jan. 18. Live music on the 1st, every night. Brazilian Bossa Nova with Monica da Silva & Chad 3rd & last Sat. Alger from 5-8 p.m. every Sun. THE BAR WITH NO NAME, 16 Castillo Dr., 826-1837 Mike TINI MARTINI BAR, 24 Avenida Menendez, 829-0928 Jason Sweet from 5:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri.; noon-4 p.m. every Sat. Anderson on Jan. 21. Bob Fraioli and Stan Piper on Jan. 22. & Sun. Bob Fraioli every Thur. BENITO’S ITALIAN CAFE & PIZZERIA, 155 Hampton Point TRADE WINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Mark Dr., 230-8292 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Hart at 5 p.m. every Mon.-Wed., Fri. & Sat. Open mic every THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 ’80s Thur. Nigel Pickering every Fri. Elizabeth Roth at 1 p.m. every Night disco and videos; Karaoke with Jimmy Jamez on Jan. Sat. Keith Godwin at 1 p.m., Wade at 5 p.m. every Sun. 21. Open Mic Night with Christi Harris at 8:30 p.m. on Jan. 24. TWO HUNDRED LOUNGE, 200 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0378 Karaoke College Party Nite on Jan. 20. Karaoke with Jimmy Live music every Thur. & Fri. DJs spin every Sat. & Sun. Jamez at 9 p.m. every Thur. & Sat. WOODY’S BAR-B-Q, 135 Jenkins St., 819-8880 Stu Weaver CELLAR 6, 6 Aviles St., 827-9055 Live music every Fri. & Sat. at 6 p.m. every Sat. CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., ZHANRAS, 108 Anastasia Blvd., 823-3367 Billy Buchanan on 826-1594 Ain’t Too Proud 2 Beg at 7 p.m. on Jan. 21. Deron Jan. 19. Preston Pohl on Jan. 20. Broadzilla & the Lady Killers Baker at 2 p.m., Ain’t Too Proud 2 Beg at 7 p.m. on Jan. 22. on Jan. 21. Baroka on Jan. 22. Deron Baker & Soulo every Tue. Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on Jan. 23 DJ Cep spins ’80s & disco every Sun. Open mic every Sun. CHICAGO PIZZA & BAKERY, 107 Nature Walk Pkwy., Ste. Vinny Jacobs open mic every Mon. 101, 230-9700 Greg Flowers hosts open-mic and jazz piano ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Fri. TINSELTOWN THE CLUB FORMERLY KNOWN AS CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-9311 Holopaw, Witches and Solid Pony at 8 AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., p.m. on Jan. 22. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Mon. Ste. 201, 928-0515 W. Harvey Williams at 7 p.m. every Tue. CONCH HOUSE LOUNGE, 57 Comares Ave., 829-8646 Brad DJ Royal at 8 p.m. every Wed. & Thur. Live music every Wed. & Newman every Thur. Live music at 3 p.m. every Sat. Thur. Latin music & DJ Benz every Fri. Live music & DJ T-Rav CREEKSIDE DINERY, 160 Nix Boatyard Rd., 829-6113 Live every Sat. music on deck Wed.-Sun. THE BRASS MONKEY, 9734 Deerlake Ct., 996-8277 Alex CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music Seier and Ron Rodriguez rotate every acoustic Tue. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler at 3:30 p.m. every Sun. every Wed. DJ Fuller spins every Thur. ladies nite. A DJ spins FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 every Jazz Fri. Miley on Meth every SIN Mon. Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. COPELAND’S, 4310 Southside Blvd., 998-4414 Live music THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655 Live music every every Fri. & Sat. Fri. & Sat. THE GRAPE, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-7111 Rebecca Day THE GREEN DOLPHIN STREET, 51 Charlotte St., 810-1923 at 7 p.m. on Jan. 21. Live music every Fri. & Sat. John Earle Todd & Molly at 8 p.m. every Thur. Travis Elling at 8 p.m. every every Mon. DJ Mikeology spins lounge from 5-9 p.m. every Fri. Mike Sweet and Karl with a “K” every Sat. Open Forum with Thur. Mike Sweet every Sun. ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. HURRICANE PATTY’S, 69 Lewis Blvd., 827-1822 Those Guys 115, 854-6060 Live jazz from 8:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. Live every Tue. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Wed. Billy Buchanan every music at 9 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. Thur. Dewey Via every Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim 997-1955 Charlie Walker on Jan. 20. 3 the Band on Jan. 21. Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. Ron Rodriguez on Jan. 22. John Earle on Jan. 23. Open mic nite JOHNNY’S, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 829-8333

every Tue. Live music every Tue.-Sun. SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 DJ Marvel and Musikology on Jan. 20. DJ Skip and C’Nergy on Jan. 21 & 22 URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 Down Theory every Mon. Live music every Thur. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Peter Dearing Band every Wed. DJ Chad spins dance every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. De Lions of Jah every Sun. HoeDown Throwdown country music night every Tue.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 Reggae every Sun. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. Hip hop every Thur. DJ J-Money spins acid jazz, soul, R&B & house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Underground Eden; dance & top 40 every Sat. DJ Ian spins every Reggae Sun. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 Jim Hurst at 8 p.m. on Jan. 20. Paul Kramer & Swing Street at 8 p.m. on Jan. 24. Robin Stine & friends at 8 p.m. on Jan. 25. Jazz every 2nd Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz Night every Thur. DJ Stylez every 2nd Thur. Strings of Fire Band at 7:30 p.m., DJ Omar spins dance every Fri. DJs Harry, Rico & Nestor spin salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Hollow Glaciers, The Silent Scene and The Summer Soundtrack on Jan. 18. American Aquarium and Crowfield on Jan. 20. Zoogma and Greenhouse Lounge on Jan. 21. Transpose, The Second Journey, Crimson City Romance, K.A.R.L. and Junior Doctor on Jan. 22. The Bastard Suns and The Rommels on Jan. 25 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Brazilian Bossa Nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 7-9:30 p.m. every Thur. RIVER CITY BREWING COMPANY, 835 Museum Cir., 398-2299 Open mic with TJ Ward every Tue. DJ G-Man at 8 p.m. every Sat. SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Soul on the Square & Band of Destiny at 8 p.m. every Mon. John Earle Band every Tue. DJs Wes Reed & Matt Caulder spin indie dance & electro every Wed. Split Tone & DJ Comic every Thur. Live music every Fri. DJ Dr. Doom spins at 10 p.m. every Mon.

PV CONCERT HALL

SOUTHSIDE BOMBA’S, 8560 Beach Blvd., 997-2291 Open mic from 7-11 p.m. with Chris Hall every Tue. Live music every Fri. Battle of the Bands every Sat. THE CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall at 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717 Jamie DeFrates and Susan brown at 8 p.m. on Jan. 22. Mardi Gras with JB Scott’s Swingin’ Allstars at 8 p.m. every 1st Mon.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 DJ Dave on Jan. 21 & 22. Open mic jam every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. Live music every weekend BOSTON’S SPORTS BAR, 13070 City Station Dr., 751-7499 DJ Roc spins for Karaoke 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Big Engine every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Reggae with Milan da Tin Man at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJs Dots and Space Mike every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ MethaDonnie every Metal Monday SHARKY’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Oceanway, 714-0995 Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Wed. & Thur. DJ Slim Wicked at 9 p.m. every Fri. Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SKYLINE SPORTSBAR & LOUNGE, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. The Fusion Band & DJ after 9 p.m. every Thur. A DJ spins every Sat. DJ Scar spins at 9 p.m. every Sun. THREE LAYERS COFFEE HOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 DeeDee Laux at 7 p.m. on Jan. 21. Lauren Fincham at 7 p.m. on Jan. 22. Al Poindexter at noon every Wed. Open mic with Al at 7 p.m. every Thur. 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Road, Northside, 647-8625 Open mic night at 8 p.m. every Thur. ladies’ nite. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. To be included in the live music listing, send all the vitals — time, date, location with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 33

Richard Termine

First Impressions: Political satire group Capitol Steps display some of their incarnations.

Pundits of Fun

The political-humor group Capitol Steps is an equal-opportunity offender CAPITOL STEPS Wednesday, Jan. 19 and Thursday, Jan. 20 at 7:30 p.m., Friday, Jan. 21 and Saturday, Jan. 22 at 8 p.m. and Sunday, Jan. 23 at 2 p.m. FSCJ South Campus Wilson Center for the Arts, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville Tickets range from $34 to $46 632-3373

hether they’re making fun of airport security, Tea Party paranoia, the excess of SUVs or America’s dependency on pharmaceutical drugs and processed foods, the 25-member cast of Capitol Steps considers everyone fair game. Formed in 1981, the political satire troupe does an average of 500 to 600 shows each year (700 during an election year) and according to performer and cowriter, Mark Eaton, their typical demographic is the “50-year-old, NPR crowd.” Folio Weekly recently caught up with Eaton, who’s been with the show since ’93, to chat about the Clintons, 2010 headlines and Senator Charlie Sheen.

34 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

Folio Weekly: A prerequisite of being in the Capitol Steps was that you had to be a former Senate staffer. That’s not the case anymore. What changed? Mark Eaton: Well, what changed a little bit is that like everything else in D.C., we kind of spun out of control. As business increased, our bosses started noticing that we weren’t showing up for work sometimes. So we got everybody that could sing and dance off The Hill and kind of had to go out and find people who could travel at the drop of a hat and really do it as a full-time gig.

F.W.: What politician has given you the most ammo? M.E.: Oh, gosh. All of them. You know, the beauty of this group is that when we started, it was Ronald Reagan in the White House. He

“We performed one night and Bill Clinton was probably about 20 feet away from us — it was kind of weird.” had great potential for impressions and did a lot of funny things. That was followed up by George Bush Senior and Dan Quayle and people said, “Boy, you’re never gonna have as funny of material as that.” And then along comes Bill Clinton. “Boy, you’ll never get better than that.” Along comes George W. Bush, so you know, they just keep coming. F.W.: What about the current Commander in Chief? M.E.: Obama has been a little bit of a harder target, but thank goodness he’s surrounded himself with folks like Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton in the Cabinet, which of course gives us Bill to poke fun at. F.W.: Do you ever run into the politicians you make fun of around town? M.E.: Well, you know, it’s funny because a lot

of times, these guys are in the audience. You’ll go to an event that has maybe three or four Senators or Congressmen or dignitaries of some sort and the only time they get upset is when they’re not in the show. Gosh, we performed one night and Bill [Clinton] was probably about 20 feet away from us — it was kind of weird. F.W.: What celebrity do you think would make the best politician? M.E.: We want somebody like Charlie Sheen. We want someone with built-in material [who is] bound to give us more and more material in the coming days. Yeah, so I would hope for Senator or Congressman Charlie Sheen. F.W.: You aren’t considered pro-Democrat or pro-Republican — you slam both sides. M.E.: Yeah, we try to be equal-opportunity offenders. Sometimes folks will say, “Oh, you’re being too tough on the Democrats.” Well, just hold on for a few minutes, because we’ll get to the Republicans next. F.W.: Are there any heated political debates among cast members behind closed doors? M.E.: Not really. We’re passionate about it, but we’re passionate about seeing the silly side of it. If you don’t laugh at this stuff, it will really drive you crazy. We’ve always kind of said that the greatest enemy we have as far as the success and future of our group is complete confidence in government. Well, that’s never gonna happen, so we got it made. Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

THEATER TALL TELLERS OF ST. AUGUSTINE This story-telling society presents “The Lady Was A Spy,” a featuring four stories of four historic women involved in espionage throughout American history at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 18 at San Marco Theatre, 28 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Admission is $10. 829-8711. 100 YEARS OF TWAIN The Limelight Theatre presents Bob Gill in a one-man show about legendary humorist Mark Twain at 10:30 a.m. on Jan. 25 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $10; $5 for children. 825-1164. RABBIT HOLE Theatre Jacksonville presents David Lindsay-Abaire’s acclaimed family drama at 8 p.m. on Jan. 21 and 22 and at 2 p.m. on Jan. 23 at 2032 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $25; $20 matinee tickets for seniors, military and students. 396-4425. CAPITOL STEPS This political satire group performs at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 19 and 20; at 8 p.m. on Jan. 21 and 22 and at 3 p.m. on Jan. 23 at FSCJ South Campus’s Wilson Center for the Arts, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $34-$46. 632-3373. WILLY WONKA The Orange Park Community Theatre brings Roald Dahl’s beloved “candyman” to life in this musical adaptation staged at 8 p.m. on Jan. 21 and 22 and at 3 p.m. on Jan. 23 at 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park. Tickets are $20. 276-2599. FULL GALLOP ABET presents this play based on the life of American fashion icon Diana Vreeland at 8 p.m. on Jan. 21 and 22 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. Tickets are $15; $12 for seniors, students and military. 249-7177. DRUMLINE LIVE This acclaimed American Marching Band ensemble performs at 8 p.m. on Jan. 22 at the TimesUnion Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $31-$71. 632-3373. AIN’T MISBEHAVIN’ Players By The Sea presents this musical revue of Fats Waller at 8 p.m. on Jan. 20, 21 and 22 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. Tickets are $26. 249-0289. A CLOSER WALK WITH PATSY CLINE The music and story of country legend Patsy Cline come to life at 8 p.m. on Jan. 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 and 23; at 1:15 p.m. on Jan. 22 and at 2 p.m. on Jan. 23 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $45 and $49; $42 for matinees. 641-1212.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS AUDITIONS FOR “THE TEMPEST” University of North Florida’s English department holds auditions for its April production of Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” from 6:309:30 p.m. on Jan. 20 and 21 at Robinson Theater, bldg. 14A, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. The production seeks 25 multi-cultural actors, vocalists, dancers and musicians. 704-3207, 483-1835. LANGUAGE OF CONVERSATION Poet and educator Richard Lewis leads an informal, interactive program on reflecting on nature at 6 p.m. on Jan. 19 at the Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. 630-1420. SPANISH MISSIONS LECTURE Flagler College presents Dr. John Diviney, who discusses “17th Century Spanish Florida Franciscan Missions” at 10 a.m. on Jan. 18 in the Flagler Room, 74 King St., St. Augustine. Tickets are $5. 819-6282. PHOTOGRAPHY WORKSHOP Roger Nelson teaches travel photo techniques from 6:30-8:30 p.m. on Jan. 24 and 25 at Beaches Regional Library, 600 Third St., Neptune Beach. 537-3136, 241-1141. ROMANCE WRITERS’ CONFERENCE First Coast Romance Writers accept registrations for its “Light Up Your Career at the Southern Writers’ Conference” from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. on March 12 at Jacksonville Marriott, 4670 Salisbury Road. Workshops, a keynote luncheon and critique raffles are featured. Registration is $95 before Jan. 31; $110 after. firstcoastromancewriters.com PROFESSIONAL ARTIST WORKSHOP The Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville and the state of Florida, Division of Cultural Affairs host a developmental workshop for Northeast Florida mid-career artists from 5:30-9 p.m. on Jan. 21, 8:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m. on Jan. 22 and 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. on Jan. 23 at WJCT Studios, 100 Festival Park Ave., Jacksonville. 358-3600.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ BERNADETTE PETERS This acclaimed singer and actress performs with the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra at 8 p.m. on Jan. 19 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $26-$56. 354-5547. RITZ CHAMBER PLAYERS This acclaimed ensemble perform works by Le Chevalier de Saint-Georges, McLin, Boatner, Shostakovich, Prokofiev and Hailstork at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 19 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville.

The bank-vault-turned-art-space known as Vault holds an opening reception for the exhibit “Polarities: new photographs by Billy Buck and Andrew Green” on Jan. 21 from 6:30-9 p.m. at 121 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. The show runs through March 2. By appointment only. 525-3368. Tickets are $25; $20 for seniors, military and teachers; $10 for student rush. 354-5547. ARTIST IN RESIDENCE CELLIST PERFORMANCE Acclaimed cellist and educator Hans Jorgen Jensen performs at 5 p.m. on Jan. 20 and at 4 p.m. on Jan. 21 at University of North Florida’s Fine Arts Center, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878. ART OF THE ENGLISH TENOR RECITAL Tenor Dr. Blaine Hendsbee, baritone Dr. Krzysztof Biernacki and pianist Dr. Erin Bennett perform at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 20 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878. RUSSIAN FUSION The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra presents works by Borodin, Mussorgsky, Glinka, Rimsky-Korsakov and Tchaikovsky at 11:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 21 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $35-$45. 354-5547. OLDEST CITY SWING CONCERT Romanza presents the 18-piece Florida Swing Orchestra at 7 p.m. on Jan. 22 at Florida National Guard Armory, 190 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $35 and $45. 494-6660. DOT WILDER DUO Vocalist Dot Wilder and pianist Bill Prince perform standards at 7 p.m. on Jan. 22 at The Brasserie, 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 249-5800. THE TWIN AND THE MONSTER The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra is joined by performer-narrator Norma Lewis for this family-oriented telling of an African folk tale at 3 p.m. on Jan. 23 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. General admission is $7. Reserved seating tickets are $20; $18 for children. 354-5547. ORGANIST WOOSUG KANG Riverside Fine Arts presents organist Kang at 3 p.m. on Jan. 23 at Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $20; $10 for students. 389-6222. MUSIC FROM EASTERN EUROPE Pianist Chih-Yi Chen and violinist Dr. Guy Yehuda perform at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 24 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches are open late, from 5-9 p.m., on the third Thur. of each month at various venues from Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center. For a list of participating galleries, call 249-2222.

MUSEUMS AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378. An opening reception for the exhibit of paintings by The Highwaymen is held from 6-9 p.m. on Jan. 21. The show runs through March. The museum’s permanent collection includes artifacts from Nassau County’s Spanish Mission period. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY CENTER 413 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657. An exhibit of new works by Lyn Nix, Gordon Russell and Bruce Ann Ferguson, “A View from the Atlantic,” is on display through March 1. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Christine Nguyen’s exhibit, “Powers of the Cosmic Dusty Seas,” runs through Feb. 25. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 356-6857. The 50th Anniversary Community Celebration is held from 4-9 p.m. on Jan. 25. “The Cummer Legacy” exhibit features paintings that comprised Arthur and

Ninah Cummer’s original philanthropic gifts; it runs through May 22. The seated gallery talk “Talks and Tea” is held from 1:30-3 p.m. on Jan. 20 and 21. Admission is $6; reservations required. The Drop In Art class allows children ages 4-10 the chance to explore the museum and create their own art every Tues. at 5 p.m.; the fee is $5. “Women of Vision: Art Beyond Sight” runs through March 6. For questions, please call your advertising repr KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. A collection of Sigmund Freudrelated manuscripts are on display through April. The latestFAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 multimedia works by Adrian Rhodes and Yuwnus Asami are PROMISE OF BENEFIT SUPPORT AS on display through Feb. 24. Open Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. “The Art of Seating: 200 Years of American Design” opens on Jan. 21 and runs through April 3. The Coffee Break Concert Series presents The Ritz Chamber Players at 2 p.m. on Jan. 18 in the MOCA Theatre. Admission is $8 for non-members. Family Fun Free Day is held from noon-4 p.m. every Sun. Open Tue.Sun. mocajacksonville.org MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville, 396-6674. “People of the St. Johns” runs through Jan. 30. The Bryan Gooding Planetarium offers daily programs including children’s features, and weekend Cosmic Concerts. Open daily. RITZ THEATRE & LAVILLA MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. “Lift Ev’ry Voice in LaVilla,” an exhibit of African-American history in Jacksonville, is on permanent display. Admission is $6 for adults, $3 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun.

GALLERIES ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. An opening reception for the exhibit of works by painters Richard McGee and Peg Paschal is held from 6-8 p.m. on Jan. 20. The show runs through Feb. 10. GALLERY GROUP, THE ART INSTITUTE OF JACKSONVILLE 8775 Baypine Road, Jacksonville, 486-3000. The Student Showcase Gallery is on display from 5-7 p.m. on Jan. 20. JACKSONVILLE UNIVERSITY 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville, 256-7371. The Faculty Bi-Annual Exhibition runs through Feb. 16. JU Faculty present their most recent works during a discussion at noon on Jan. 25 at the Brest Gallery. TAC II 229 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. The featured artist through Jan. is Susan Sapinski. UNIVERSITY OF NORTH FLORIDA 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville, 620-1000. Photographer Jeff Sheng discusses his exhibit, “Fearless,” at 3 p.m. on Jan. 24 at the Student Union, bldg. 58W, Ballroom D. The display features photographs of more than 100 self-identified lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender athletes and is on display in the Carpenter Library, bldg. 12, from Jan. 24 through Feb. 25. VAULT 121 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville, 525-3368. This bank-vault-turned-art-space holds an opening reception for the exhibit “Polarities: new photographs by Billy Buck and Andrew Green” from 6:30-9 p.m. on Jan 21. The show runs through March 2. By appointment only. For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com. To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com. JPEGs must be at least 3’x5’, 300 dpi to be considered for publication.

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 35

FLAGLER FORUM Flagler College Community Lecture Series commences with “17th Century Spanish Florida Franciscan Missions” at 10 a.m. on Jan. 18 in the Flagler Room at Flagler College, 74 King St., St. Augustine. Dr. John Diviney, coordinator for the Spanish and Latin American Program in the college’s Liberal Studies Department, is the featured speaker. Tickets are $5. Lectures are followed by a reception. For reservations, call 819-6282. RESTAURANT WEEK The third annual event is held through Jan. 30 at 23 venues throughout Fernandina Beach and Amelia Island. A fixed menu (priced at either $19 or $29 per person) that includes three courses and a beverage. ameliaisland.com 52 AT THE ZOO From now through Feb. 28, when the temperature is predicted to be no higher than 52 degrees, admission is half-off (with a coupon from jacksonvillezoo.org) at The Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens, 370 Zoo Parkway, Jacksonville. Details at jacksonvillezoo.org GIANTS BASKETBALL The Jacksonville Giants take on the Mobile Hurricanes at 5 p.m. on Feb. 6 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., downtown. Tickets start at $4 (with a season pass). 355-6531. jacksonvillegiants.com COSMIC CONCERTS Concerts include The Beatles at 5, U2 at 6 p.m., Classic Rock at 7 p.m. and Laser Retro at 8 p.m. on Jan. 21 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Each concert is $5 per person. 396-6674 ext. 240. moshplanetarium.org HAPPY CHAPPY BENEFIT JAM To honor the late Christopher “Chappy” Chaplin, this event is held from noon-7 p.m. on Jan. 22 at the Pier & Pavilion, A1A Beach Boulevard, St. Augustine Beach. Bands performing include Scholar’s Word, Colton McKenna, Todd & Molly, The Mix, Sol Sound Rebellion and Dirty & Friends. naturalreflections@hotmail.com

COMMUNITY INTEREST

HAZARDOUS WASTE COLLECTION St. Johns County holds a Community Collection Day from 8 a.m.-noon on Jan. 22 at North Beach Park, located at A1A and 24th Street in Vilano Beach. Household hazardous waste items are accepted, including paint, oil, cleaners, pesticides, batteries and pool chemicals. Obsolete electronics, old computer equipment and tires (limit 10 per household) are accepted, but no microwave ovens or large appliances. No commercial items, construction materials, garbage or yard trash will be accepted. St. Johns County residents only. 827-6980. STUDENT SHOWCASE GALLERY The Art Institute of Jacksonville presents the annual Student Showcase Gallery from 5-7 p.m. on Jan. 20 at 8775 Baypine Road, Jacksonville. 486-3000. FREE TAX PREP HELP For the fourth consecutive year, Beaches Emergency Assistance Ministry offers free income tax preparation services to families at the Beaches, from 1-4 p.m. every Fri. and from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. every Sat. starting Feb. 4 at 850 Sixth Ave. S., Jax Beach. Starting on Jan. 31, clients may call for appointments at 241-2326 ext. 1. jaxbeam.org FREE COMMUNITY SHRED The Clay County Sheriff’s Office, Shred-it and Crime Stoppers hold a free community shred event from 9 a.m.-noon on Jan. 21 in the parking lot near 455 Park Ave., Orange Park, directly across from the Orange Park Kennel Club. Call for details on

what you may bring to shred. 535-7182. COOKING CLASSES The nonprofit Sustainable Springfield offers a gift package of 2011’s Cooking in Season classes; proceeds benefit Springfield’s community orchards. sustainablespringfield.net UMPIRES NEEDED Training starts soon for baseball and softball umpires in Northeast Florida. Call 726-0125. jaxump.com

POLITICS & ACTIVISM

DRAFT NOISE ORDINANCE A workshop on a proposed St. Johns County noise ordinance is held at 9 a.m. on Jan. 19 in St. Johns County Auditorium, 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine. The public workshop will provide an opportunity to provide input prior to the item coming before the St. Johns County Board of County Commissioners. 209-0805. ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION BOARD The city of Jacksonville Water Committee meets at 4:30 p.m. on Jan. 18 in Room 416, Godbold Bldg., 407 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. The Air & Odor Committee meets at 4:30 p.m. on Jan. 19 in the E&CD Conference Rm. 416. The Steering Committee meets at 2 p.m. on Jan. 31 in Ste. 305, Godbold Bldg. 255-7100. JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee meets at 4 p.m. on Jan. 20 in Eighth Floor Conference Room 851, Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. 630-1273. JACKSONVILLE CITY COUNCIL & PUBLIC MEETINGS The Jacksonville Housing Finance Authority gathers at noon and the Jacksonville Housing & Community Development Commission meets at 4 p.m. on Jan. 19 on the Ed Ball Building’s Eighth Floor, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville; 255-8203.

KIDS

TEEN GAMING NIGHT Teens ages 11-18 play new or even not-yet-released games — Playstation 3, Nintendo Wii, X-Box 360 — from 5-7 p.m. on Jan. 24 at Ponte Vedra Beach Branch Library, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra. 827-6950. TEEN HORROR MOVIE NIGHT “The Devil” is screened for teens at 2 p.m. on Jan. 18 at Anastasia Island Branch Library, 124 Seagrove Main St., St. Augustine Beach. Admission is free. 209-3730. LUNCH BOX SERIES St. Johns County Tourist Development Council and Limelight Theatre launch a new educational series for school groups and homeschoolers, with “100 Years of Twain” at 10:30 a.m. on Jan. 25 at the theater, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. A Q&A follows the production. Tickets for all Lunch Box Shows are $10 for adults and $5 for children. For information, reservations or group rates, call 825-1164. limelight-theatre.org MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY The Museum offers exhibits and programs for all ages at 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Admission is $11 for adults, $9.50 for military and senior citizens, $9 for children 3-12, and free for children 2 and under and members. 3966674. themosh.org KIDS HIP-HOP CONTEST The Greatest Rapper Alive Entrepreneur Challenge & Workshop, for ages 14-18, is held from 1:15-4:45 p.m. every Sat. through Feb. 26, at City Kidz Event Center, 1303-113 N. Main St., Jacksonville. 318-8128, 598-5115.

BOOKS & WRITING

PAUL KAYE Author Kaye discusses his new book, “Living the Spiritual Principles of Health and Well-Being,” at 7 p.m. on Jan. 18 at Barnes & Noble Booksellers, 11112 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin. Admission is free. 886-9904. FRIENDS OF THE LIBRARY The annual meting is held at 6 p.m. on Jan. 22 at Anastasia Island Branch Library, 124 Seagrove Main St., St. Augustine Beach. Bingo for Books for Adults is held at 2 p.m. on Jan. 22. “Cross Creek,” starring Academy Award-winner Mary Steenburgen and Peter Coyote, is screened at 5:30 p.m. on Jan. 25. Admission is free. Refreshments provided by the Friends of the Anastasia Island Branch Library. 209-3730. SEAN ESPENSHIP Local author Espenship signs copies of his new book, “Casino’s Gamble,” from 4:30-7:30 p.m. on Jan. 22 at North Beach Bistro, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. seanespenship.com ROMANCE AUTHORS Ancient City Romance Authors present author Miriam Van Veen (aka Marianne LaCroix), who holds the workshop “Creating the Online Presence,” at 12:30 p.m. on Jan. 22 at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville. acrarwa.org

COMEDY

Mad TV’s Aries Spears appears on Jan. 20, 21 and 22 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Jacksonville. Tickets are $17-$24. 292-4242. 36 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

Walter Coker

EVENTS

COMEDY ZONE Mad TV’s Aries Spears appears on Jan. 20, 21 and 22 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Jacksonville. Tickets are $17-$24. 292-4242. JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Cowboy Bill and Sid Davis appear on Jan. 21 and 22 at Jackie Knight’s Comedy Club,

PLAE is one of 20 restaurants participating in the third annual Amelia Island Restaurant Week, held Jan. 23-30 throughout Fernandina Beach and Amelia Island. Diners can choose a special prix-fixe menu, which includes three courses and a beverage. Prices are $19 or $29 per person. For information, call 277-0717. ameliaislandrestaurantweek.com

3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine (U.S. 1 & S.R. 16). 461-8843. COMEDY SUNDAYS Brian Foley hosts comedy at 7 p.m. every Sun. at Three Layers Coffee House, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791.

UPCOMING

ROYAL COMEDY TOUR WITH SOMMORE, BRUCE BRUCE, D.L. HUGHLEY Feb. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena GEORGE LOPEZ March 4, The Florida Theatre HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS March 11, Veterans Memorial Arena DIRTY MARTINIS FOR CLEAN WATER II March 18, WJCT Studios GOSPEL COMEDY TOUR WITH STEVE HARVEY, KIRK RANKLIN May 21, Veterans Memorial Arena BILL MAHER May 27, The Florida Theatre

NATURE & OUTDOORS

SECRETS OF THE SALT MARSH A park ranger discusses the importance of estuarine systems surrounding the inshore sides of barrier islands like those of the Talbot Islands State Parks complex at 2 p.m. on Jan. 22 at Fort George Island Cultural State Park, 11241 Ft. George Road, Ft. George Island. The program is free. 251-2320. ROWING The Jacksonville Rowing Club offers adult sweep classes in Jan.; eight sessions on Sat. and Sun. mornings. No experience or equipment is necessary. Adult memberships and youth programs are also available. 304-8500. jaxrow.org

BUSINESS

BUSINESS AFTER HOURS The Amelia Island/Fernandina Beach/Yulee Chamber of Commerce gathers from 5-7 p.m. on Jan. 20 at General Store, 520 Centre St., Fernandina Beach. Admission is $5 for members; $10 for nonmembers. The AIFBY Chamber’s Quarterly Luncheon is held from 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. on Jan. 25 at The Golf Club of Amelia Island at Summer Beach, 4700 Amelia Island Parkway, Amelia Island. John Haley, senior vice president for business development for the Cornerstone Regional Development Partnership, and Steve Rieck, executive director of the Nassau County Economic Development Board, are the featured speakers. Admission is $18 for members, $25 for nonmembers. Reservations are required; call 261-3248. info@aifby.com CHAMBER AT NOON The luncheon is held from 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. on Jan. 19 at Ponte Vedra Inn & Club, 200 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Ponte Vedra Beach. Bob Ross, Greater Jacksonville USO, is the featured speaker. Admission is $25 for members, $30 for nonmembers. For reservations, call 285-2004. ARMA MEETING Association of Records Managers and Administrators meet for breakfast from 7:30-9:30 a.m. on Jan. 18 at University Club, 1301 Riverplace Blvd., 27th Floor, Jacksonville. Chris Johnson, Vice President of D4, a national discovery management and litigation support organization, is the featured speaker. Admission is free for members, $30 for nonmembers. 274-3341. JAX CHAMBER MEETING The 126th annual meeting of the

Jacksonville Chamber of Commerce is held Jan. 18 at 6 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Gary Dickinson, CSO of Battle of Olustee, is the featured speaker at 12:30 p.m. on Jan. 19 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20 for members, $25 for nonmembers. 396-5559. annie.sbmc@yahoo.com WORKSOURCE SERVICES Worksource Mobile Access Points offers free job-seeker services at Webb Wesconnett Library, 6887 103rd St., every Tue. at 10:30 a.m. and every Fri. at 1:30 p.m.; Regency Square Library, 9900 Regency Square Blvd. every Thur. at 10:30 a.m.; Beaches Library, 600 Third St., Neptune Beach, at 10:30 a.m. on Jan. 24; St. Augustine Beach City Hall, 2200 S.R. A1A S., at 10 a.m. on Jan. 19; and Harris Community Center, 4100 E. Harris St., Hastings on Jan. 26 at 10 a.m. 994-7924. worksourcefl.com

CLASSES & GROUPS

HEARING LOSS ASSOCIATION This group gets together at 6:30 p.m. on Jan. 18 at West Regional Library, Room 105B, 1425 Chaffee Road S., Jacksonville. Leann Boone is the featured speaker. 778-2265. JACKSONVILLE CHESS This group gathers from 1-5 p.m. every Sun. in the Sears area Food Court at Avenues Mall, 10300 Southside Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is free. You may bring a chess set, board and clock. All levels. 731-8496 ext. 210. jaxchess.com THE LEARNING COMMUNITY The Learning Community of North Florida offers a Pharmacy Technician Program from 6-9 p.m. every Tue. and Thur. through March 1 at 626 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach. Frame Your World digital camera workshop is held from 5-7 p.m. on Jan. 23. Cooking with Spirits is held from 2-4 p.m. on Jan. 30. Basic Knife Skills, a simple hands-on knife skills class, is held from noon-1:30 p.m. on Jan. 30. For additional classes and workshops, fees and class requirements, call 430-0120. tlcnf.com BELLY DANCE CLASS Free classes are held at 4 p.m. every Sun. at Anais Belly Dance Studio, 10300 Southside Blvd., Avenues Mall. 680-0106. DANCE TRANCE New beginners PACE classes are offered at Dance Trance Studio, 214 Orange St., Neptune Beach, 246-4600. dancetrancefitness.com FREE YOGA CLASS Free classes are held at 5:45 p.m. every Tue. at The Elements, 12795 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin. 619-1587. elementsoftherapy.com IMPROV COMMUNICATION CLASSES Four-week programs of Improv Communication Classes for adults are held from 7-8:30 p.m., starting on the first Wed. of the month at The Improv Effect, 1738 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park. 401-9485. jessie@improveffect.com NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem? Maybe they can help. 358-6262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna. org, firstcoastna.org To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to events@ folioweekly.com or click the link in our Happenings section at folioweekly.com.

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

(In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.) THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining is offered in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences. Award-winning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BEEF O’BRADY’S FAMILY SPORTS PUB F Signature wings, burgers and sandwiches. BW. TO. L & D, daily. 1916 S. 14th St. 261-0555. (For more locations, visit beefobradys.com) $$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS F The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 An Italian kitchen and wine bar. Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials. Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$ ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS Traditional Spanish and Portuguese dishes, tapas and paella are served in a cozy atmosphere. BW, CM. D nightly. 22 S. Fourth St. 261-7700. $$$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a thirdpound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENERAL STORE F This new store has a little bit of everything. Breakfast includes hot rope sausage, lunch features the Redneck Reuben. Deli meats, cheeses, chicken, fish, pizzas and pasta, too. BW. B, L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 310-6080. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5 S. Second St., 261-9400. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ F Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.-Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE F Locally owned and operated, serving specialty coffees and fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drive-thru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Northernstyle pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery and juice bar. Extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Wraps, sandwiches, soups. CM. B & L, Mon.Sat. 833 T.J. Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family

restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2128 Sadler Rd. 272-2011. $$ PLAE In Spa & Shops at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, the cozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2010 winner. Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ SANDOLLAR RESTAURANT & MARINA F Dine inside or on the deck. Snow crab legs, fresh fish, shellfish dishes. FB. L & D, daily. 9716 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island. 251-2449. $$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on large oceanview deck. Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp and nightly specials. Late-night menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2010 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DE REAL TING CAFE See Downtown. 6850 Arlington Expwy. 446-9777. $ EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily. 6132 Merrill Rd. 744-2333. $$ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106. ORANGE TREE HOT DOGS F Orange Tree serves hot dogs with slaw, chili cheese or sauerkraut, as well as personal size pizzas. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9501 Arlington Expwy., Regency Square. 721-3595. (For locations, visit orangetreehotdogs.com) $ PITA EXPRESS Philly, chicken fajita, falafel, chicken Caesar salad and eggplant parmigiana pitas, plus omelets and pancakes. CM. B, L & D, daily. 2754 Trollie Lane. 674-2637. $ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR F Generous portions and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BEETHOVEN’S BAGEL BISTRO All-day breakfast menu with French toast and bagels. Lunch is deli fare, wraps, Reubens, paninis; dinner offers paella, chicken & dumplings. CM, BYOB. B, L & D, Wed.-Sat.; B & L, Sun. & Sat. 5917 Roosevelt Blvd. 771-6606. $$ BISCOTTIS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials. B, Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Halfportions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L & D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Middle Eastern cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily. 3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884 $$$ THE FOX RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Fox has been a Jacksonville landmark for 50-plus years. Ian and Mary Chase serve classic diner-style fare, featuring homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ ORSAY Best of Jax 2010 winner. The French/American bistro focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Tues.-Sat. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ RUAN THAI The elegant Avondale restaurant offers authentic Thai cuisine, including curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 3951 St. Johns Ave. 384-6665. $$$ TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ ’town Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Ostrander bring the farm-to-table concept to Northeast Florida with their new Avondale restaurant, offering American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$

Walter Coker

DINING GUIDE KEY

Fresh seafood, steaks and pasta dishes team up with an award-winning wine list in a casual atmosphere at Beech Street Grill, on the corner of Beech Street and Buccaneer Trail (A1A) in Fernandina Beach.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-owned-andoperated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brickoven-baked pizza, and traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs. Dine-in or delivered. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3. 519-8000. $$ BOWL OF PHO This restaurant offers traditional Vietnamese noodle soup and authentic favorites like spring rolls, shrimp wraps and egg rolls. Big portions and a laid-back atmosphere. 9902 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-4455. $$ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT Owner Celso Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas and burritos. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deepdish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $$ THE FIFTH ELEMENT F The first four elements are earth, water, air and fire — but here they prepare authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Extensive menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast. CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE F This Lebanese restaurant offers authentic Mediterranean cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ MAYURI INDIAN CUISINE F Traditional Indian items include tandoori specials, South Indian, Indo-Chinese, vegetarian, biryani and thali style dishes. BW. L & D. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 10. 448-5999. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE Center-cut beef, fresh seafood and sandwiches served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include crème brûlée. FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Serving traditional Thai and vegetarian items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu in a contemporary atmosphere. B/W. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F See Beaches. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$ TIMES GRILL F See Fleming Island. 10915 Baymeadows Rd. 674-2606. $$

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.) A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, Ipswich clams, crab cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, clam chowder. Outside deck. TO. L, Mon., Tue., Sat. & Sun. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Subs are made-toorder fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ ATOMIC FLYING FISH SEAFOOD TACO GRILL F Beach-casual with Cali-style fish, steak, blackened gator tacos and sides. L & D, daily. 309 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 372-0882. $$ BEACH BUDS CHICKEN F This cozy, family-owned place serves marinated fried or baked chicken: family meals (kids like Peruvian nuggets), giant tenders, in box lunches and as Mini-Me sandwiches, along with gizzards, livers, 15 sides and fried or blackened shrimp, fish, conch fritters, deviled crabs. TO. L & D, daily. 1289 Penman Road. 247-2828. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets and Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno family imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheese-steak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers and dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ THE BRASSERIE & BAR This new French/European-style bistro and bar offers coq au vin, French onion soup, fritto misto, Moroccan-style lamb shank. FB. D, Tue.-Sun. 1312 Beach Blvd. 249-5800. $$$ BUDDHA’S BELLY Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 301 10th Ave. N. 712-4444. $$ BUKKETS BAHA F Oysters, wings, shrimp and burgers served inside or in the open-air boardwalk dining area. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 222 N. Oceanfront. 246-3234. $$ BURRITO CANTINA This hole-in-the-wall serves big burritos and big beers. TO. L & D, daily. 22 Seminole Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-2000. $ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CARIBBEE KEY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AmerCaribbean cuisine includes seafood, steaks and sandwiches. Open-air deck bar upstairs; outdoor dining downstairs. FB. L & D, daily. 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach. 270-8940. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ COFFEE BISTRO F Fresh, locally roasted coffee, loose-leaf teas, baked goods, sandwiches and smoothies. BW. B & L, daily. 525 N. Third St., Ste. 105. 853-6500. $ CRAB CAKE FACTORY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Fresh local seafood and Mayport shrimp are on the award-winning menu, which also includes Chef’s crab cakes, filet Christian and grouper Imperial. There’s an AYCE buffet every Wed. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1396 Beach Blvd. 249-4776. $$$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB F Four Culhane sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, featuring Guy Fieri’s (“Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives”) favorite items — Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595. $$

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 37

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seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ EUROPEAN STREET See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd. 249-3001. $ FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. Rep$$ rl FirstSales St. 242-9499. THE FISH COMPANY F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets, grilled tuna and an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HALA SANDWICH SHOP & BAKERY Authentic Middle Eastern favorites include gyros, shwarma, pita bread, made fresh daily. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 249-2212. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 Third St. S. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Westernstyle seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The fullservice restaurant offers corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MEZZA LUNA RISTORANTE F A Beaches tradition for 20+ years. Favorites are Szechuan ahi tuna, lasagna Bolognese and wood-fired pizza. Inside or patio. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$ MIMI’S SPORTS GRILLE East meets West: Every dish is infused with Asian style and ingredients, including lumpia, yaki tori and several kinds of sushi. FB. L & D daily. 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 270-1030. $$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar atmosphere. Favorites are pulled pork, Texas brisket and slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd. 247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25 years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings. Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NORTH BEACH BISTRO F Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco with truffled mushroom risotto; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach. 372-4105. $$$ OCEAN 60 Best of Jax 2010 winner. A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu. Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.-Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 First St. N. 208-5097. $ PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT F The family-style restaurant has an outdoor patio and an extensive menu, including the mariner’s platter and the Original Dreamboat. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 904 Sixth Ave. S. 249-0608. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks are made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ PURE AROMA CAFE Homemade crepes, healthy wraps, Colombian coffees and smoothies, in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. B & L, daily. 1722 N. Third St. 372-4571. $ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent. Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK F Salt Life offers a wide array of specialty menu items, including the signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos and local fried shrimp, served in a casual, trendy open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 Third St. N. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. 111 Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-RIBS. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried cheese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-TACO (8226). $$ THAI ROOM RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Dine in an intimate setting as Chef Thepsouvanh prepares Thai cuisine like crispy duck or pan-seared Chilean sea bass. BW. L, Mon.-Fri. D, Mon.-Sat. 1286 S. Third St. 249-8444. $$$ TURTLE ISLAND NATURAL FOODS Entrées from tofu to tenderloin, sides and sandwiches. Full natural and organic grocery. BW. L & D, daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Stes. 7 & 8, Atlantic Beach. 246-2441. $$ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapas-style menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.-Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

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RELOCATED TO JAX BEACH 317 St. Augustine Blvd., Jax Beach, FL 32250

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38 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

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DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive) ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL F The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB On the Trolley route. A sports bar vibe: 16 bigscreen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches & sides, AYCE wings buffet, soup-n-salad. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd. 356-6750. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated. Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ JULIETTE’S & J-BAR Serving dinner before (or dessert after) a show. Breakfast buffet. J-Bar serves bistro-inspired small plates. FB. Daily. Omni Hotel, 245 W. Water St. 355-6664. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine. Indoor and outdoor dining and bar. FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Mon.-Fri.; L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550. 791-9797. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Newly relocated, and serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. BW. B & L, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND

ALL STARS SPORTS BAR & GRILL F This casual sportsthemed bar and restaurant features wings, burgers and tacos, a customer favorite. CM, FB. 2223 C.R. 220. 264-3322. $ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ HONEY B’S CAFE Breakfast includes omelets, pancakes, French toast. Lunch offers entrée salads, quiches and buildyour-own burgers. Peanut butter pie is a customer favorite. Tea parties are held every Sat. B & L, daily. 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 8. 264-7325. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MERCURY MOON F Appetizers, sandwiches, desserts. Daily specials. TO, FB. L & D, daily. 2015 C.R. 220. 215-8999. $$ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ ROCKIN RODZ BAR & GRILLE This place offers fresh fare, like Stratocaster shrimp, Hot Rod gumbo and handmade gourmet Angus burgers, served in a rockin’, upscale casual atmosphere. Dine indoors or out. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2574 C.R. 220, Stes. 4-7. 276-2000. $$ TIMES GRILL F The Louisiana-based restaurant has big burgers, seafood and old-fashioned malts. Eat a 1-1/2-pound Wall of Fame burger, get your picture on the Wall of Fame. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 1811 Town Center Blvd. 592-4400. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F This renowned seafood place, family-owned since 1963, specializes in AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. Come by car, boat or bike. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Brucci’s offers authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE The varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The familyowned-and-operated restaurant serves authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas and pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, including breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$ TIMES GRILL F See Fleming Island. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 25. 992-7288. $$ TKO’S THAI HUT F The menu offers Thai fusion, curry dishes,

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Let’s Nosh is an authentic Jewish deli featuring breakfast, brunch, lunch and a full-service deli counter, on San Jose Boulevard in Mandarin.

chef’s specials, steaks and healthy options. Sushi, too. Hookahs are also available. Dine inside or on the covered patio. FB. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 46. 647-7546. $$ ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL Traditional Mediterranean family recipes are blended to create Spanish, French, Italian and Middle Eastern inspired dishes. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Harbour Village. 221-7066. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS

BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA BAKERY & PUB F Transforms from family restaurant to pub serving Chicago-style deep dish pizza. CM, FB. D, Tue.-Fri., L & D, Sat. & Sun. 107 Nature Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Features wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk. 230-2171. $ RUSSO’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Traditional Italian cuisine includes veal, eggplant, seafood, steak. CM. D, Tue.-Sun. 2750 Race Track Rd., Ste. 106, Plantation Plaza. 287-4111. $$

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F This seafood place features an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, chicken wings and pasta. Favorites include ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller, pitas and kabobs. Sweet potato puffs are the signature side item. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, King, Snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New Yorkstyle pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd. 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd. 880-0020. $ CASA MARIA F See Springfield. L & D, daily. 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd. 619-8186. $$ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib. Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet served daily, lunch buffet weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2010 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd. (Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily. 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ LET’S NOSH F The authentic Jewish deli offers a full breakfast, lunch, brunch and full-service deli counter. Real New York water bagels, bread baked on site and desserts. CM. B & L, daily. 9850 San Jose Blvd. 683-8346. $ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic

Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE A laid-back atmosphere with 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19. 292-0003. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a fullservice and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Madeto-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

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ORANGE PARK

GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches. FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine and stuffed grouper are featured. Chef Nick’s salmon is a customer favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS This Italian restaurant’s specialty is the 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella. Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches, popular lunches. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA F Homemade breads, pizza, white pizza, calzones and Italian entrees. Voted Best Pizza in Jax by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine offers fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster and vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily. 880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ KARMA This homey place offers favorites from here and abroad, including burgers, wings, pastas, salads and apps, prepared with fresh, local ingredients. Outdoor dining is available. Brunch menu on Sat. & Sun. CM, FB. L, Sat. & Sun.; D, daily. 822 A1A N., Ste. 105. 834-3942. $$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat. Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 39

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ME A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ

NAME: Eddie Escriba RESTAURANT: Uptown Market, 1303 N. Main St., Downtown BIRTHPLACE: Guatemala YEARS IN THE BUSINESS: 20 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (OTHER THAN MY OWN): Some of my best friends are chefs and own great restaurants, but there is one perfect meal at La Vieille Maison in Boca Raton — that’s my favorite restaurant. FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: The freshest vegetables, seafood, beef, poultry, game and PIG that I can get my hands on! IDEAL MEAL: Sometimes it’s not what you eat, it’s who you share a meal with. Ideal meals for me are when you break bread with family and friends you love ... and a 24-ounce prime rib. WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Anything on the “Fear Factor” menu, or that unborn chicken thing. MOST MEMORABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: First day of culinary school.

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feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 280-7766. L, $$; D, $$ MEDURE Matthew Medure offers his jwRESTAURANT Checked by ChefSales Rep rm eclectic cuisine featuring local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2010 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Simple Faire offers breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd., Ste. 110. 683-2542. $$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club. 285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. FB. L & D, daily. 330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

Voted a Top 5 Restaurant

in Orange Park

FolioWeekly

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AJ’S ON PARK STREET AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 598-0188. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery offers classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, all made from scratch, including the popular petit fours and custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6, Riverside. 389-7117. $ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily. Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ CROSS CREEK F See Springfield. 850 S. Lane Ave. 783-9579. $$ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F This deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice and smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses and natural, organic and raw items. Grab-and-go sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $ HJ’S BAR & GRILL F This grill serves traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JACKSONS GRILL Locally owned spot has an original menu of fried pickle chips, Rockin’ Ranch burgers, gumbo, sandwiches. BW, TO. B, L & D, daily. 1522 King St. 384-8984. $$ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+

Join Us for Lunch or Dinner 10 Blanding Blvd.

272.8434

40 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

FolioWeekly

INSIDER’S SECRET: Have fun. Experiment with someone else’s money! CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS: Jon Insetta. CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Chick-fil-A

fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.-Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemade-style sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare is prepared with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily, along with a large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, nonsmoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON THE PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating. 920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ SUSHI CAFÉ F Authentic Japanese cuisine with a variety of sushi plus entrees like king salmon, katsu and teriyaki. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2025 Riverside Ave. 384-2888. $$ TIMES GRILL F See Fleming Island. 5149 Normandy Blvd., Ste. 1. 854-7501. $$ TWO DOORS DOWN F Former Tad’s owner offers traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WALKERS This nightspot has a tapas menu plus a wide variety of wines, served in a rustic, intimate atmosphere. BW. Tue.-Sat. 2692 Post St. 894-7465. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS F The city’s only brew pub taps seven hand-crafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-andoperated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include

Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BEACH STREET PIZZA New York and Chicago style pizzas, calzones and homemade pasta dishes, all made from fresh ingredients., served in a beach-theme atmosphere. CM. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 4171 A1A S. 461-0910. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd. 460-9311. B, $; L & D, $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Authentic New York style brickoven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. International menu features large portions, reasonable prices. FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ HURRICANE PATTY’S F Casual waterfront seafood place features lunch specials, nightly dinners. Dine inside or on the deck. L & D, daily. 69 Lewis Blvd. 827-1822. $$ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution in an 1884 building, serving Ultimate Nachos, soups, sandwiches, daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just one block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F This familyowned-and-operated bistro’s creative menu offers expertly chosen wines, nightly specials, fresh artisan breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts are made from scratch. D, Tue.Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE The restaurant, located in a Victorian home, offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ SCARLETT O’HARA’S Best of Jax 2010 winner. Serving Southern fare, barbecue and seafood. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 70 Hypolita St. 824-6535. $$ SHENANIGANS SIDELINES SPORTS GRILL The sports grill serves 80+ craft, imported & domestic beers, and homemadestyle sandwiches. L & D, daily. 4010 U.S. 1 S. 217-3051. $$ SUNSET GRILLE Casual Key West style and a seafood-heavy menu — it’s a consistent Great Chowder Debate winner. Specialties include baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp and datil pepper wings with bleu cheese dressing. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ ZHANRAS F Art-themed tapas-style place has small plate items in a casual, contemporary space. Entrée portions available. CM, FB. D, daily; Sun. brunch. 108 Anastasia Blvd. 823-3367. $$

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN

BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, Blackfinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken and flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2010 winner. 13249 City Square Dr. 751-9711. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401. 996-6900. fiveguys.com $ THE GRAPE BISTRO & WINE BAR F More than 145 wines, along with a tapas menu of gourmet fare to pair with the wine list. A wide selection of beer is also served. L & D, daily. 10281 Midtown Parkway, Ste. 119. 642-7111. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Upscale tropical vibe. Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor,

including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Libretto’s is an authentic New York City pizzeria, bringing its Big Apple crust, melted cheese and sauce to the First Coast. Libretto’s also serves third-generation family-style Italian classics, freshfrom-the-oven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfortable setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown). 997-1955. $ mellowmushroom.com MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F Featuring seafood, an ever-changing menu of more than 180 items includes cedarroasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned steakhouse has an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen. Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F See Orange Park. 7860 Gate Parkway. 253-3314. $$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N. 997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, fresh seafood, sandwiches and desserts. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ SUITE This new premium lounge and restaurant at St. Johns Town Center offers chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ URBAN FLATS See Ponte Vedra. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Road. 642-1488. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu. CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER Best of Jax 2010 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racing-themed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-WING (9464). $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special. BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

SAN JOSE

ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Burgers, sandwiches, nachos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-BURG. $ DICK’S WINGS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. This NASCARthemed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolinastyle barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

b.b.’s F A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F Best of Jax 2010 winner. French, Mediterranean-inspired fare, award-winning wines, woodfired pizzas, house-made pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 398-1949. $$$ BISTRO 41 F Omelets, sandwiches, burgers, wraps, Metro Creations and Bistro Bites. Low carb dishes. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork,

fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Serves up big sandwiches, soups and desserts along with more than 100 varieties of bottled and ontap beer. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd. 398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Wine by the glass. Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd. 398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $ KIRIN SUSHI F On San Marco Square. All-new sushi menu. Dine under neon in a cool atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 1950 San Marco Blvd., Ste. 1. 399-3305. $$. LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients. Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ PIZZA PALACE F It’s all homemade from Mama’s awardwinning recipes: spinach pizza and chicken-spinach calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, froyo (frozen yogurt), teas, coffees made one cup at a time, along with 30 kinds of smoothies. B, L & D, daily. 1962 San Marco Blvd. 396-9222. $ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE A Best of Jax 2010 winner. Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood in an upscale atmosphere. FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd. 306-2188. SAN MARCO DELI F The independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers and lunch meats roasted daily in-house. Vegetarian options, including tempeh, too. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA SAN MARCO Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitanstyle wood-fired pizzas and entrées served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd. 398-3005. $$$

SOUTHSIDE

BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ CITY BUFFET CHINESE RESTAURANT This restaurant features a large variety of Chinese-style dishes on one large buffet. Beer available. TO, L & D, daily. 5601 Beach Blvd. 345-2507. $ THE CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Southside’s casual fine dining venue offers a menu that’s a blend of modern American favorites served with an international flair. The Fresh Bar features an extensive selection of fine wine, cocktails and martinis. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ EL POTRO F Family-friendly and casual, El Potro cooks it fresh, made-to-order — fast, hot and simple. Daily specials and a buffet are available at most locations. BW. L & D, daily.

5871 University Blvd. W., 733-0844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. (For more locations, visit elpotrorestaurant.com) $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd. 398-1717. $ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serves house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel, tabouli and a daily lunch buffet. Best of Jax 2010 winner. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4323 University Blvd. S. 733-5141. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE Stylish yet simple gastropub features Southern-style cuisine made with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F New York-style thin crust, brick-oven-cooked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones and sandwiches, of Thumann’s no-MSG meats and Grande cheeses. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR F Boston’s serves a full menu of sportsbar favorites, including pizzas, till 2 a.m. Dine inside or out on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F This family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ JAX RIVER CITY CAFÉ Traditional breakfast fare includes omelets, sandwiches. Lunch features subs, burgers, sandwiches, grilled paninis, daily hot specials. Dine-in, carryout. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 4807 N. Main St. 355-9111. $ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees like eggplant parmigiana, shrimp scampi. BW. L & D, daily. 7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F The locally-owned-andoperated steakhouse offers choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts. CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch, served in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. 696-4001. $ SHARKY’S WINGS & GRILL This family-friendly restaurant offers apps, burgers, subs and shrimp, as well as 16 flavors of wings — get ’em in orders of six to 100. L & D, daily. 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Oceanway. 714-0995. $$ THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE F Bagels, three-layer cakes and light lunches, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines. Inside and courtyard dining. BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield. 355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F This modern restaurant’s menu features a blend of popular favorites, including salads, sandwiches and pizza, as well as fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F In the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main. Fresh fare created with the same élan that rules at Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$

WINE LISTINGS ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur. 9928 Old Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-2656 AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Best of Jax 2010 winner. Call for schedule. 4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur. 3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 CIRCLE JAPAN “Sake 101” 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 12192 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, Southside, 710-5193 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GRAPE 5-7:30 p.m. every Wed.; 1-4 p.m. every Sat. 10281 Midtown Pkwy., Ste. 119, SJTC, 642-7111 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 NORTH BEACH BISTRO 6-8 p.m. every Tue. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m., every second Fri.

816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766 RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1035 Park St., Five Points, 356-4517 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 330 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-5515 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900 ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL 6-8 p.m., every first & third Wed. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Intracoastal W., 221-7066

JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 41

The Good Kind of Scum

A 10-year-old church in Denver ministers (as contemplated by 1 Corinthians 4:11-13) to the homeless, reviled and persecuted, and formally named itself after the actual words in verse 13: the “Scum of the Earth” Church. The congregation touts nonjudgmental Christianity, owns an elegant, aging building (but holds services elsewhere due to fire code violations), and is a rough mix of anarchists, punk rockers, environmentalists and disaffected teens. “Scum” (as church members matter-of-factly call themselves) tilt mildly philosophically conservative (though not evangelical), connected only by a common belief that “God is love,” according to a December report in Denver’s Westword.

Great Art!

Among the recent works funded by Arts Council England was a “painting” consisting of a blank canvas, for which artist Agnieszka Kurant was paid the equivalent of about $2,300 and on which she intends to paint something in the future. Rounding out her exhibition were a “sculpture” that was not really present and a “movie” that had been shot with no film in the camera. In October, borrowing from the U.S. Air Guitar Championship (which honors self-made guitar “heroes” playing wild rock ‘n’ roll as if they were holding real guitars), the second annual Air Sex Championship was held in the Music Hall in Brooklyn, N.Y., and eventually won by Lady C. (whose performance could not easily be described). Each contestant (solo only) had two minutes to cover “all the bases”: “meeting, seduction, foreplay, intercourse, and, if successful, afterglow,” and exposing body parts was not allowed.

Police Report

If You’re Not Safe in Your Own Home … At 2 a.m. on Nov. 13 in Akron, Ohio, a 70-yearold woman was the victim of a home invasion when Cory Buckley, 22, broke in and robbed her. According to a police report, the woman was sitting on the toilet at the time, and Buckley was wearing a clown mask. Melissa Wagaman, 33, was convicted in November in Hagerstown, Md., of a February home invasion in which she broke into her neighbor’s house wearing only a bridal skirt and veil. She later blamed cold medicine and marijuana.

Fine Points of the Law

42 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

Questionable Judgments: The New Jersey Government Record Council ruled in December that the town of Somerset had overcharged Tom Coulter in 2008 by $4.04 on the $5 it collected for a compact disc of a council meeting and must issue a refund. The town estimates that it spent about $17,000 fighting Coulter’s appeals (and paying his attorney’s fees). Brandi Jo Winkelman, 17, was charged in September in Juneau, Wis., with violating the state’s child abuse law after a schoolyard fight and risks a maximum of six years in prison. Authorities charged Winkelman even though her “victim” was a classmate older than Winkelman. Police in Hyderabad, Pakistan, recently arrested a doctor for the increasingly suspect crime of insulting Islam — after he merely tossed away the business card of a man who happened to have the last name “Muhammad.”

According to a December Associated Press dispatch, “dozens” of Pakistanis are sentenced to death each year for such tangential references to the holy name of Muhammad, but the government fears that trying to repeal the law might incite Muslim extremism.

Oops!

Among Major League Baseball players (average salary about $3.3 million) who spent time on the disabled list in 2010: Kendry Morales (Angels) broke his leg jumping on home plate after hitting a home run; Brian Roberts (Orioles), out a week with a concussion when he smacked himself in the head with his bat after striking out; Chris Coghlan (Marlins) needed knee surgery after giving a teammate a playful post-game shaving-cream pie; and Geoff Blum (Astros) needed elbow surgery after straining his arm putting on his shirt.

The Weirdo-American Community

Robert Hurst, 47, was charged after an incident at the cemetery in Picayune, Miss., pursuing his “orb photography” hobby — capturing images of circles of light at night, especially those that appear to him as faces. Hurst was spotted one night in December, naked, setting up his camera, thus giving rise to a charge of indecent exposure. He explained he thought bare skin would be the “best canvas” for orb photography.

Recurring Themes

Anatomically Equipped Shoplifters: Ailene Brown, 28, and Shmeco Thomas, 37, were arrested in Edmond, Okla., in November, charged with shoplifting at a TJ Maxx store. Surveillance video showed that, among items stuffed in the pair’s belly fat and under their armpits and breasts were four pair of boots, three pair of jeans, a wallet and gloves.

Medicare In Action

In November, the federal agency that administers Medicare acknowledged to the Sun-Sentinel the government often overpays for patient wheelchairs due to a rules quirk. Ordinary wheelchairs sell for $100 to $350, but Medicare can’t reimburse patients who buy the chairs; it can only pay for rentals (up to 13 months), at $40 to $135 a month. A 2009 audit found Medicare allowed up to $7,215 for oxygen dispensers, available for sale for $587, and $4,018 for a power wheelchair that cost suppliers $1,048. A December Wall Street Journal investigation found instances of physicaltherapy doctors earning millions of dollars a year in Medicare payments by “treating” nonexistent patients, by overtreating real patients or by providing controversial “treatments” other therapists say are useless. Describing the work of hard-partying, spikehaired Miami Beach doctor Christopher Wayne, one former physical-therapy association official likened Wayne’s expensive “treatment” to “back rubs.” Medicare law requires prompt payment to doctors but prevents the public release of doctors’ billing records — even if all patient identification is hidden — thus ensuring Medicare abuses can only be uncovered by a small team of federal investigators and not by the press unless, as the Wall Street Journal did, they investigate patient by patient. Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net

BLEEKER SEEKS HER JUNO Sassy petite server at Tom & Betty’s who I said could be Ellen Page’s stunt double. I’d love to fly kites with some gin and tonic in hand. You told me your hamburger phone was out of order. Well babe, I know just how to fix it. Let me be your lady Bleeker? Dream Big! When: Jan. 7, 2011. Where: Tom & Betty’s on Roosevelt. #1059-0118 PLAYBOY BUNNY I saw you with a Bocefus-looking dog hanging out of the window of your Camry. You were wearing scrubs but otherwise looking like a Playboy bunny. I was in a truck with the candy paint selling George Foremans and I saw that look on your face. Only rasta free the people... Meet me at the park. When: Jan. 4, 2011. Where: Hodges. #1058-0118 YOU KNEW MY NAME Getting pizza after hours and you knew my name, I was too dumbfounded to ask for yours. You had an amazing smile and were wearing a black dress and glasses. If we meet again, I’ll try not to be at a loss for words. When: Jan. 1, 2011. Where: Northstar Pizza and Subs. #1057-0118 DELLWOOD DELIGHT I used to see you at the Brick regularly but I never had the guts to talk to you; now I see you cruising around in your green BMW convertible frequently. You: short, thin and beautiful. Me: uncontrollably shouts “I love you” whenever I see you. Our houses share the same street; do we have anything else in common? When: Dec. 23, 2010. Where: Riverside. #1055-0111 IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY Green eyes and hair of gold. It was your birthday. You and a friend were having a good time shooting darts. Can’t stop thinking about you. When: Nov. 19, 2010. Where: Monkey’s Uncle San Jose Blvd. #1054-0111 BIBLICAL AND ATYPICAL You stopped me in my stumbling tracks, and only got a few words out before my friends pulled me away... I kept looking back at you as I left the bar, hoping you would follow. Where were we? When: Dec. 31, 2010. Where: The Beaches. #1053-0111 STUNNING BRUNETTE W/ HIGHLIGHTS We met at Tinseltown on 12/08. We were both on dates and saw the movie “Unstoppable.” We talked at the bathrooms afterwards, you told me I had 15 secs to get your number but I was too slow. Our dates interrupted us. You: Stunning beauty, big beautiful green eyes, dressed down but looking amazing. Me: Sweat pants and a hoodie. Maybe we can get a movie together? Without the dates of course! When: Dec. 9, 2010. Where: Tinseltown Theatres. #1052-0104 HOW TO BE A VETERINARIAN You asked me to not tell anyone, but you want to be a vet. We talked a little bit after you rang me up and walked around the counter to talk to me some more. I should have ask for your number. If you’re single I’d love to talk to you again. What did I try to pay with or where do I work? When: Dec. 16, 2010. Where: Larry’s on Westside. #1051-1228 WE COMPARED OUR INJURED ARMS And you definitely caught my eye! After the trash cans “jumped out in front of me” in the aisle, you noticed my scar and we talked. You said my story was better than yours, and wished us a good night when you saw us later. Was hoping you’d ask for my number but you didn’t. Are you interested? I am. When: Dec. 18, 2010. Where: Walmart-San Jose Blvd. #1050-1228 INTERESTING WAITER Interesting waiter who served my table the banquet. We looked at each other and talked briefly afterwards but not privately. Would like to chat more and get more acquainted. And, yes the glasses do make a tone. When: Dec. 10, 2010. Where: Banquet. #1049-1228 FRESH FROM THE GARDEN BOY You: big, muscular, Hispanic, dark skin, boy with the sexiest accent ever. I heard you go nuts 4 blondes. When: Dec. 5, 2010. Where: Garden Cafe. #1048-1228 NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN I hadn’t seen you in the area in what felt like years, but then, out of nowhere, I saw you again. You were in scrubs heading into the Baptist Outpatient Center. Longingly, I smiled at you from Aetna. It’s nice to have you back in my world. When: Dec. 14, 2010. Where: Baptist Outpatient Center. #1047-1228 ADAM & EVE I saw you at Adam & Eve on Atlantic Blvd. and asked if I could take you out back and show you how to use what you were purchasing. You laughed and said you did not need help at

that time, maybe some other time. Is it time yet? Where: Adam & Eve Atlantic Blvd. #1046-1221 CONTAGIOUS SMILE AT BEACH HUT I walked in and there you were again, you and your gorgeous smile and super sweet personality. I have gone many times before for breakfast but for some reason never managed to ask you out. I even left you my number once, but no call. Are you even single? Signed, Burger & fries. When: Dec. 11, 2010. Where: Beach Hut Cafe. #1045-1221 PUBLIX FLOWER BOY You’re always working in the flower section at the Roosevelt Sq. Publix. I see you all the time, since I live close by, and I know you see me as well. haha. Me: Brown hair, brown eyes, tan, shorter than you. Hope this will be a laugh for you. Next time I come in, I’ll try and say Hi. When: Dec. 8, 2010. Where: Publix @ Roosevelt Square. #1044-1214 A DEVIL DOLL NAMED PINKY I Saw U and him walking in the rain. U were holding hands and I will never feel the same. Then I realized it was just our reflection. We found a place to sit in the sky and watched the sunset, counted stars and gazed into each others’ eyes. I found a wineglass in the sand to remember you by. Can u find my message in a bottle? I hope my legs don’t break! Walking on the moon. When: Dec. 2, 2010. Where: Jax Beach. #1043-1214 RED TOYOTA TUNDRA AT LOWE’S You: dark hair with Bluetooth phone in line behind me at Lowe’s patiently waiting for me to purchase two cart loads of stuff. You, being a gentleman, offered to help me get

everything into my car. I said I was ok and that I didn’t need any help, but I would like to get to know you better. When: Dec. 4, 2010. Where: Lowe’s Philips Hwy. #1042-1214 BEAUTIFUL BETTY AT BIG TICKET I saw you: Lovely long hair, Quicksilver backpack, plugs, bangs, and boots. I walked you to the VIP bathroom and to your car at night. You stole my heart when I saw you from the stage. Oh where can you be? Can you be mine? Me, brand new Converse and brightly neon shirt. Moo. When: Dec. 3, 2010. Where: Met Park, The Big Ticket. #1041-1214 PHOTO SNATCHER AT MARILYN SHOW Saw you at Marilyn Monroe play at JMOCA. You: handsome blonde sneaking photos of me with your cell phone. Me: Green dress with annoyed boyfriend who noticed you. He’s long gone, why settle for cell photos? Let’s go out! When: March 13, 2010. Where: JMOCA Marilyn Monroe Show. #1040-1214 CUMBERLAND ISLAND BLOND HOTTIE You were the tall, blond, cowboy-hat-wearing girl-of-mydreams in a thousand-year-old oak tree on Thanksgiving + 1. Forbidden fruit, but I wish I’d plucked you. I was too sick to even smile at you that day but wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I want to take you to the mountains, for much more than thumb-wrestling. When: Nov. 26, 2010. Where: Cumberland Island GA. #1039-1207 SHORTIE WITH HEADPHONES You were dancing with headphones. You had a Led Zeppelin shirt buying gas and beer. Me: white car. You: dark green Four Runner. When: Nov. 26, 2010. Where: Kangaroo Atlantic &

Girvin. #1038-1207 SHY GUY BROUGHT YOU A BEER Monkey’s Uncle, I was wearing a blue Tapout shirt. I wanted to talk to you more, really I did, damn shyness. I bought you a beer. I remember your name. Maybe I could buy you dinner next time. When: Nov. 20, 2010. Where: Monkey’s Uncle. #1037-1207 PUMPKIN SPICE GUY You, the tall husky felly with the pumpkin scone. Me, the Venti gent in the corner with the pumpkin spice latte. We glanced at each other. No need to go to Starbucks alone anymore. You bring the scone … I’ll buy the latte. When: Nov. 22, 2010. Where: Starbucks Mandarin. #1036-1130 HAN SOLO CHARM Me: Strapping, strong, tan. You: Harrison Ford-like looks. I can be your strong hairy Wookie if you so choose. We can take a ride in my Saab (it’s silver like the Millennium Falcon). I like your choice of shorts at Pac Sun, they looked good when you tried them on. When: Nov. 21, 2010. Where: Avenues Mall. #1035-1130 HOTTIE IN THE WOODS I saw you in your flannel, dancing your heart out. Maybe we can cook up some noodles, and share them over a movie and snuggle sesh. I like you. Just sayin. Will you be my girlfriend? When: Nov. 19, 2010. Where: The Woods. #1034-1130 SEXY MARIA You were a cute Latina wearing a red blouse. I was wearing a dolphin suit. Remember me? I’m sorry for being a lame dolphin. I would like to make it up to you. When: Nov. 20, 2010. Where: The Ivy. #1033-1130 SCRAMBLED IDEAS I was at The Beach Hut Cafe, then you walked in. Tall, temptatious, huggable. You were like my Jack Black on steroids. I see you have a gf. If things don’t work out, ask Beach Hut who their other regular is... Or maybe you just need to look around next time. When: Nov. 11, 2010. Where: The Beach Hut Cafe. #1032-1130 GIRL WHO STOLE MY HEART At the Pearl wearing a white and black dress, me dancing all over you ...I took your number. You answer. Us: Together for 7 months and now in love. Will you marry me? Let’s spend the rest of our life together. When: May 10, 2010. Where: The Pearl. #1031-1123 MOJO’S WAS SMOKING BUT YOU WERE THE HEAT You and a friend were at the end of the bar before the 11/12/10 Honeytribe concert. Your raven black hair, sparkling brown eyes and joyful smile lit up the room. You spotted me about five seats to your left in a black, long sleeve shirt and greying hair nursing my smoked turkey dependency. We exchanged glances like I was again in the seventh grade. Then you left before the show. Our paths should cross again. When: Nov. 12, 2010. Where: Mojo’s BBQ. #1030-112

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FreeWill Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): The age-old question is up for review again: Which should predominate, independence or interdependence? The answer is always different, of course, depending on the tenor of the time and the phase of your evolution. In the weeks ahead, at least, you should put more emphasis on interdependence. I think you’ll reap huge benefits from wholeheartedly blending your energies with allies whose power and intelligence match yours. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I find many Tauruses to be excessively self-effacing. It’s a trait that’s both endearing and maddening. Even as my heart melts in the presence of Bulls underestimating their own beauty, I also feel like grabbing them by the shoulders and shaking some confidence into them, barraging them with frustrated exhortations like “Believe in yourself as much as I believe in you, for God’s sake!” I’m guessing I won’t be tempted to do that anytime soon. You seem due for a big influx of self-esteem. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It’s a good week to let your mind go utterly blank, slouching in front of a TV and sipping warm milk, or spend hours curled up in a ball under the covers in bed as you berate yourself with guilty insults for the mistakes you’ve made in your life. NOT! I’m kidding! Please don’t dare do anything like that. It’d be a terrible waste of the rowdy astrological omens due on you. Some better ideas: Seek the fire on the mountain! Create a secret in the sanctuary! Learn a trick in the dark! Find a new emotion in the wilderness! Study the wisest, wildest people you know so you, too, can be wildly wise! CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s an excellent week to grieve madly and deeply about old love affairs that shattered your heart. I’ve rarely seen a better astrological configuration than there is now for purging residual anguish from those old romantic collapses. Conduct a formal ritual to provide total exorcism and bring maximum catharsis. Maybe you could build a shrine containing photos and objects that keep part of you stuck in the past, and maybe find bold words and innovative gestures to bid them goodbye forever. Do you have any intuitions how to create a rousing healing ceremony? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The History Channel’s reality TV show “Ice Road Truckers” documents exploits of drivers who haul heavy loads in 18-wheelers long distances across frozen rivers, lakes and swamps in Alaska and northwest Canada. They take supplies to remote outposts where folks work exotic jobs like mining diamonds and drilling for natural gas. If you have any truck-driving skills, you’d be a good candidate to apply for a gig on the show. According to my analysis of astrological omens, your levels of courage and adventurousness are at an all-time high in 2011. May I suggest you try to make your romps in the frontier more purely pleasurable than what ice road truckers have to endure? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Pop chanteuse Katy Perry is renowned for her singing ability and her physical appearance. Her preternatural ability to sell her musical products can be attributed in part to sparkling good looks and charisma. That’s why it was amusing when her husband, trickster Russell Brand, Twittered a raw photo of her he took as she lifted her head from the pillow, awakening from sleep. (tinyurl.com/RealKaty.) Without her makeup, Katy’s visage was spectacularly ordinary. Not ugly, just plain. In accordance with astrological omens, I urge you to do what Russell did: Expose the reality that lies beneath and behind the glamorous illusion, either in yourself or anywhere else you find a need. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): While I was growing up, I was taught to regard my analytical mind as a supreme 44 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 18-24, 2011

tool for understanding reality. I’ve never stopped believing that. However, I eventually realized I had to add corollaries if I wanted to thrive: 1. My imagination and intuition are as essential to my success as my analytical mind; 2. I need to regularly express my playful, creative urges, and that requires me to sometimes transcend my analytical mind; 3. to maintain my emotional well-being, I have to work with my dreams, which occur in a realm where an analytical mind is not lord and king. Does any of this ring true for you? Now’s an excellent time to cultivate other modes of intelligence besides your analytical mind. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you’re planning to spend time hibernating in the next few months, this is an excellent time to do it. Your reaction time is slowing down, which is a healthy thing. Meanwhile, your allergy to civilization is acting up, your head is too full of thoughts you don’t need and your heart craves a break from the subtle sorrows and trivial tussles of daily life. Find some sweet silence to hide inside. Treat yourself to a slowmotion glide through the eternal point of view. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Dear Rob: All my life I’ve been passionate about the big picture — learning how the universe works, meditating on why things are the way they are and probing invisible forces working behind the scenes. Too often, though, I’m so enamored of these expansive concepts, I neglect to pay enough humble attention to myself. It’s embarrassing. Loving the infinite, I scrimp on taking care of the finite. Any advice? — Larger Than Life Sagittarian.” Dear Larger: You’re in luck! Members of the Sagittarian tribe have entered a phase when they can make up for their previous neglect of life-nourishing details. In the weeks ahead, I bet you find it as fun and interesting to attend to your own little needs as you usually do to understanding mysteries of the cosmos. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): All the most credible studies say the crime rate is steadily decreasing, and yet three out of every four people believe it’s rising. What conclusions can we draw from this curious discrepancy? Here’s one: The majority of the population is predisposed toward pessimism. In my astrological opinion, you can’t afford to be victimized by this mass psychosis. If you are, it’ll interfere with and probably even stunt the good fortune headed your way. I’m not asking you to be absurdly optimistic. Just try to root out any tendencies you may have to be absurdly gloomy. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the early 20th century, many women at the beach covered most of their bodies with wool swimsuits. If they went in the water, they’d emerge about 20 pounds heavier. Swimming was a challenge. Your current psychic state has resemblances to what you’d feel like if you were wearing drenched woolen underwear, a drenched woolen clown suit and a drenched woolen robe. My advice? Take it off — take it all off. Astrological omens are clear: Whatever your reasons were for being in this get-up in the first place are no longer valid. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In comedian Sarah Silverman’s memoir, “The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption and Pee,” she confesses she was still wetting her bed at age 19. Depression was a constant companion throughout adolescence, and she took a lot of Xanax. Yet somehow she grew into such a formidable adult, she was able to corral God himself to write the afterword for her book. How did she manage that? “This is so trite,” she told Publishers Weekly, “but … sex.” I predict a comparable reversal of fortune is ahead for you. Some part of your past is redeemed, possibly with the sexy help of a divine ally. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

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JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 45

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ACROSS Gordon of space Cross words? “Esq.” user, briefly Pennant quests “I’ll have a venti halfcaff skinny peppermint mocha ___, please” Fiend’s intro Muenster Mrs. Roundish Frustrated chess player’s cry? The speed of sound End of a series With 59 Down, a kitchen assistant Like some personalities Boost the bulk of Ivan’s jet Reality show about a rich bachelor who pokes people in the eye? Colorado city Move along, as clouds “File not found,” e.g. Heavyset hayseeds? Coat on Santa’s coat Bill’s 1996 foe Cattle raisers of Kenya “That ___ it should be” Easter egg hotline? “Pygmalion” penner Evening, to Yves Sign of spring? Monday in Mexico 2010 film, “Black ___” Horse pace Heart opening? Avoiding part of your workout? (this one’s a triple) “Pleased ___ you” Steed shade Miss of psychic fame Paris pupil

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71 Computer command 72 Poker player’s last words 73 Discussion group 74 Studied, with “over” 75 Eng., e.g. 76 Canadian Indian 77 Sondheim character 79 Wipe out 80 Treeless plain 81 Deadlines 84 “In what way?” 85 Switch positions 86 “Cold Mountain” co-star 87 Gather, as volunteers 88 Hypnotist Franz 90 Tummy upsetters 91 Spoil, slangily 92 What “there is nothin’ like” 93 Like an emoter 94 Manicured expanses 99 Near-homophone of Seoul’s anagram 100 Pamper 101 “Where Is the Life That Late ___?” 102 Former GM make 104 Cry for help 105 QB’s mistake 106 Sellout sign 107 ___ beef

Solution to “A Separate Piece”

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18 Paris divider 24 Pet, affectionately 25 Served in its natural gravy 30 Thieves total 31 Brilliant talker? 33 2010 honor for “Up” 34 Oater reinventor 35 Leg shackles 36 Mil. awards 37 Home of Labyrinth Canyon 38 Sub ___ (secretly) 39 Orville or Wilbur, e.g. 43 “Of Thee” follower 44 Hotel upgrade 45 Actress Beulah 46 “___ by land ...” 47 Stupefy with drink 50 Christmas song parson 51 Academy founder 52 Toss 54 “Hot Lips” portrayer 55 Sectors 57 Clay-pigeon sport 58 Paw pain 59 See 28 Across 60 Instruction list 61 Wreath greenery 62 Clarifier’s intro 63 Cranks up the V-8 64 Unexpected pleasure 65 Cake topper 66 Mary Pickford’s real name

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AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 388-5406

AVENUES MALL

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Burnt Offering

Is Rosewood finally rising from its ashes?

hey had done decided that wasn’t nothing going to live in Rosewood — not a man, woman, child, horse, dog, chicken nor cat.” That’s the way one of the few survivors described the massacre that left the oncethriving black Florida community in ashes after a week-long onslaught by an enraged white mob on New Year’s Day, 1923. Rosewood has been a lifeless plain of ashes for the 88 years since then. It all happened because a young, married, white woman in the nearby Cummer milltown of Sumner claimed she had been beaten and raped by a black man. (It was most likely her husband or a white trainman, who was in the habit of bring her a bag of candy while the train was taking on water and freight.) That was the spark, but fueling the flames was an underlying hotbed of fury on the part of local poor whites, who couldn’t stand the sight of an independent and prosperous black community, some of whom lived in “mini-mansions,” owned pianos and wore furtrimmed coats. Besides which, the Rosewood moonshine still was undercutting the whiteowned Sumner one. However many residents managed to escape through the woods or by rescue train, not one ever dared to reappear to reclaim their land, which was eventually bought up for unpaid taxes by whites. It was not until Jan. 2, 2011, that the spell was broken by Dr. Marvin Dunn, an AfricanAmerican professor at Miami International University. Dunn staged a “Return to Rosewood” memorial ceremony on five acres of Rosewood ashes he had bravely purchased the year before. Before announcing his “Return to Rosewood” ceremony, Dunn contacted the Levy County office in charge of licensing. Three times he was turned down. White owners of nearby property said they were afraid a public gathering would block their driveways and lead to trespassing on their property. “How much will I be fined if I go ahead and have the meeting without a permit?” Dunn asked. “$55,” was the answer. So Dunn went ahead with his plan, taking pains to add the words “By Invitation Only” to his printed “invites.” Guests were asked to bring not more than one additional guest. Then, on New Year’s Eve, Dunn discovered a white clothes hanger dangling from the gatepost on his property. Traditionally, the Klan has employed such intimidation devices as skulland-crossbones notes, miniature caskets left on doorsteps, live bullets sent by mail. Levy County Sheriff Johnny Smith is intimately aware that the Klan has, during the past several years, “enjoyed” a substantial resurgence in the Rosewood area, and is claiming a current membership of 400. It keeps its head down locally, but in December last year, it crossed the border into Georgia and staged a 100-man parade in Nahunta.

The sheriff was there on Jan. 2, together with a deputy in a second car. Both were so discreetly parked down the road that not even the sponsors knew they were anywhere around. Neither were the sponsors aware that a group of 10 local white men (not invitees) were standing watch down the road throughout the proceedings. My wife, Sandra Parks, had suggested that an African-American primitive painter from Gainesville, Ernest Lee, attend the meeting, with his depiction of a Rosewood cabin burning. “Which way to the ceremony?” Lee asked the sheriff when he approached the scene. “Take the first left,” the sheriff replied, neither visibly warm nor hostile. Lee did as directed, only to find himself in the driveway of a white resident. Coming out of the driveway were three more vehicles, all driven by African-Americans. The sheriff had given them all the same bum steer. Lee doesn’t know if this was intentional or not. The sheriff should have said second left. It was a small gathering of about 80, with only a few whites, and no known locals. The group was unaware that it was being watched by a band of 10 white men down the road. In the middle of everything, some Levy County official called Dunn aside and handed him his $55 ticket for conducting a meeting without a license. In addition to Dunn, speakers included former Miami mayor Xavier Suarez and Arnett T. Doctor Sr., a prime mover of the effort to have the l998 Florida Legislature pay a handful of Rosewood survivors modest reparations. Doctor is also believed to have played a part in acquiring the property. Their intention is to make Rosewood something of a black mecca, featuring a half-million dollar historical museum. What are the chances of the surrounding territory accepting a “black mecca” on the ashes of Rosewood? A more hostile environment would be difficult to imagine. In recent years, the surrounding area — including the nearby town of Cedar Key — has carried out a classic example of “ethnic cleansing,” (which they call “whitecapping”) and now boasts (under its breath) of being “lily white.” The roots of the racism which erupted and reduced Rosewood to ashes go deep, and down through the years have continued to bear strange fruit. Not the least of these are the “souvenirs” — fingers, toes, genitals — which proud descendants of the perpetrators have kept preserved in alcohol. For years, a general store on the northwest corner of the intersection of highways 24 and 27-A kept a display window full of body parts, with bottles stacked halfway to the ceiling. More recently, in October 1981, on a University of Florida football weekend, a trio of out-of-state fans — two white males and one black — were “seeing Cedar Key.” At day’s end, the mayor approached the black student, put a

pistol to his head, and announced, “It’s time for you to get on the other side of bridge No. 4!” The unwelcome visitor was then given a police escort off the island. Rosewood is not alone in its practice of racial exclusion. Three years before that event, another central Florida town, Ocoee, was likewise obliterated by a Klan-led mob. Six decades later, a white eyewitness told me that, even after all the intervening years, blacks driving through Ocoee who find themselves in need of gas go looking for a “full-service” station, being afraid to set foot on Ocoee ground. It’s a little-known fact that a consortium of white residents bought up 70 acres of what had been Rosewood, divided it into lots and renamed it Sumner Estates. The big idea was to erase even the name of Rosewood forever. Rosewood was long gone, but a total cover-up required that the records as to who had lived there, where and when, needed to be destroyed, too. This need was met in large part by a fire at the Levy County Courthouse, which miraculously incinerated a lot of Rosewood records, and not much else. On Oct. 15, 2010, when the Stetson Kennedy Foundation filed a Freedom of Information request for the Florida Department of Law Enforcement to make available all the Rosewood records it had in its possession, including those of the l994 legislative investigating committee, there was a long silence. Eventually, on Dec. 2 we received from the FDLE’s general counsel a letter in which he said, “the search results were all negative. No records were found.” Some time later, however, the FDLE either had second thoughts or better luck, because it advised us that many records had been found, and were open to our scrutiny. Another attempt to erase the memory of Rosewood is the disappearance of historic site markers placed on the roadside by the state of Florida. Someone has evidently backed up to the marker, thrown a chain around it and yanked it up out of the ground. So far, four replacement markers have met this fate. It’s good that the state of Florida has finally acknowledged its share of responsibility for the Rosewood bloodletting, but the establishment of a Rosewood Historic Park would be so much better. We hope that keeping the memory of Rosewood alive would deter repeat performances. No matter how much we regret and lament such skeletons in our closet and ask, “How could our forebears have done such a thing?”, if we are at all honest with ourselves, we must admit that all of us living Americans — white, black, brown and yellow — are participants in an ongoing slaughter of untold thousands of innocents in the Middle East. Stetson Kennedy

Kennedy is a folklorist, Civil Rights activist, author and former Folio Weekly Person of the Year. He lives in St. Augustine.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly. com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly. JANUARY 18-24, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 47

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